An Avoidant Does THIS When They Are Falling in Love

Summary

In this video, the speaker explores the unique challenges and experiences of dismissive avoidant individuals as they fall in love. It highlights how their fear of vulnerability influences their expressions of love, often leading to more reserved and distanced communication. The speaker discusses common phrases used by dismissive avoidants, such as expressing happiness and appreciation without fully revealing their deeper feelings. The video also emphasizes the importance of open communication and addressing fears to foster a healthy relationship dynamic, providing insights into the emotional complexities of this attachment style.

Takeaways

• 😀 Dismissive-avoidant individuals tend to shy away from emotional closeness and vulnerability due to deep-rooted fears of rejection and neglect.
• 😀 When falling in love, dismissive-avoidants express their feelings in a restrained or 'distilled' way, often avoiding overly emotional or detailed expressions.
• 😀 Common phrases used by dismissive-avoidants when they begin to fall in love include: 'I feel really lucky to have you' and 'I haven't felt like this before.'
• 😀 Dismissive-avoidants may experience a lot of internal conflict, fearing that vulnerability will lead to emotional pain or rejection, which leads them to limit their expressions of love.
• 😀 While they might say they’re happy in the relationship, their expressions of love tend to lack the depth or intensity that other attachment styles might display.
• 😀 In a client session, dismissive-avoidants often express deep feelings of love but may not be able to openly communicate this with their partner due to their fear of vulnerability.
• 😀 Vulnerable expressions, such as saying 'I miss you' or 'I enjoy our time together,' are significant for a dismissive-avoidant, as they show they are beginning to let their guard down.
• 😀 Dismissive-avoidants often have subconscious associations with attachment that involve neglect, which creates a strong fear of getting hurt when they allow themselves to become emotionally attached.
• 😀 When dismissive-avoidants say things like 'I don't want anything bad to happen,' it reflects a deeper fear of being emotionally hurt based on past experiences with attachment.
• 😀 Open communication is crucial for a healthy relationship with a dismissive-avoidant, as it helps address their fears and fosters emotional safety, making it possible to work through issues together.

Q & A

What is the main focus of the video?

The video focuses on how individuals with dismissive avoidant attachment styles behave when they start falling in love, exploring their unique responses and the six crucial things they do differently compared to other attachment styles.

What is a dismissive avoidant attachment style?

A dismissive avoidant attachment style refers to individuals who tend to shy away from closeness and vulnerability in relationships, often prioritizing independence and suppressing their emotions to avoid perceived threats to their autonomy.

How do dismissive avoidants express their feelings when they start falling in love?

Dismissive avoidants tend to express their feelings in a very restrained and distilled manner, often communicating things like 'I'm really happy in this relationship' or 'I feel lucky to have you' without delving deeply into their emotions.

Why do dismissive avoidants struggle with expressing vulnerability?

Dismissive avoidants often have a deep fear of vulnerability due to past experiences, such as neglect or rejection. This fear causes them to keep their emotions guarded and to struggle with fully expressing their love and affection.

What are some common phrases dismissive avoidants say when developing feelings of love?

Some common phrases include 'I feel really happy in this relationship,' 'I haven't felt like this before,' 'I really enjoy our time together,' and 'I don't want anything bad to happen.' These expressions reflect their emotions but remain cautious due to their fear of vulnerability.

How does the fear of vulnerability impact the communication of dismissive avoidants?

The fear of vulnerability leads dismissive avoidants to communicate in a restrained and sometimes indirect way, often not expressing the full depth of their feelings. This is a result of subconscious programming related to past experiences of emotional neglect or rejection.

Why do dismissive avoidants often express fears such as 'I don’t want anything bad to happen'?

Dismissive avoidants express these fears due to past experiences of emotional neglect or rejection. They fear that their deep emotional involvement might lead to a repeat of those negative experiences, and they use this expression as a way to protect themselves from anticipated pain.

How can partners of dismissive avoidants help facilitate open communication?

Partners can facilitate open communication by actively discussing needs, creating a safe environment for vulnerability, and being patient as dismissive avoidants gradually learn to trust and open up about their feelings. Clear communication is key to helping resolve underlying fears.

What is the significance of the video’s suggestion to talk about needs?

Talking about needs is crucial for dismissive avoidants because it helps them feel safe and supported in the relationship. It also allows them to address their fears and engage in problem-solving through communication, which can alleviate some of their anxieties about vulnerability.

Why is the phrase 'I don’t want anything bad to happen' significant in the context of a dismissive avoidant’s attachment style?

This phrase is significant because it reveals a dismissive avoidant's deep-seated fear that vulnerability and emotional attachment might lead to emotional harm, based on past experiences of neglect. It signals the need for reassurance and a safe environment to navigate the relationship.