getting a personality is easy, actually

easy, actually
13 Jan 202405:56

Summary

TLDRThe video discusses how developing a personality is simpler than it seems. It argues that instead of trying to be interesting through common hobbies or experiences, focusing on a niche passion can make someone more memorable. Using the 'Spike method,' one can become an expert in a unique area, like cleaning or Minecraft, and use that expertise to engage others in conversations. The key is explaining things in relatable terms, without overcomplicating them. Ultimately, it's about having something distinctive to talk about and sparking curiosity in others.

Takeaways

  • šŸ˜€ Developing a personality is simpler than it seems and involves focusing on memorable traits.
  • šŸ¤” Childhood personalities were often shaped by simple interests like Harry Potter or Connect 4, but as adults, we struggle to name our hobbies.
  • šŸ“š The common advice of 'be yourself' can be ineffective, especially for introverts who don't naturally thrive in social settings.
  • šŸŒ Seeking advice online leads to personality tests or unrelated suggestions, but these don't help much in cultivating an identity.
  • šŸ Memorable people tend to have clear, distinct traits, like the kid who bullied you or the snake expert at school.
  • šŸ’” You donā€™t need extraordinary experiences to have a personality; instead, focus on being memorable by developing expertise in a niche.
  • šŸ§¹ The 'Spike method' involves becoming highly knowledgeable in a particular area, like cleaning, which can make you stand out.
  • šŸ‘‚ People will find you interesting as long as you explain your niche in a way they understand, using simple language.
  • šŸ”‘ The key to seeming interesting isn't what you do but how you talk about it and make it relatable.
  • šŸŽ“ This method is also used in college admissions, where applicants with unique 'spikes' like niche hobbies or skills are more memorable.

Q & A

  • What is the central idea of the script?

    -The script emphasizes that building a personality is simpler than it seems. It suggests focusing on a unique interest or skill (a 'spike') and becoming knowledgeable in it, which makes you more memorable and interesting to others.

  • What does the script mean by 'spike'?

    -A 'spike' refers to a specific interest or skill that a person becomes an expert in, making them stand out and more memorable in social interactions. It's based on the idea that people with clear, identifiable traits seem more interesting.

  • Why does the script say 'be yourself' is extrovert propaganda?

    -The script suggests that extroverts naturally appear interesting because they can easily engage others using social skills. For introverts, it argues that 'just being yourself' doesn't work as well because they might struggle to execute these social tactics.

  • What is the purpose of the 'cleaning' example in the script?

    -The cleaning example demonstrates how any seemingly mundane interest can become a 'spike' if you invest enough time and knowledge into it. By mastering cleaning, you can turn it into something that sparks interest in conversations.

  • How does the script suggest introducing yourself using the 'spike' method?

    -The script advises introducing yourself by mentioning your 'spike'ā€”the niche interest or skill you're knowledgeable in. For example, if you're passionate about cleaning, you could start a conversation by talking about unique cleaning techniques or tools.

  • What is the difference between being interesting and having a personality according to the script?

    -According to the script, being interesting means having something memorable to talk about, while having a personality is about being able to consistently engage people through your unique traits or 'spike.'

  • Why does the script mention Minecraft as an example?

    -Minecraft is used as an example of how to introduce a niche hobby to people in a relatable way. The script emphasizes the importance of explaining niche interests so others can understand, instead of jumping straight into complex details that might alienate them.

  • What does the script suggest about the role of jargon or niche terms in conversations?

    -The script suggests avoiding jargon or niche terms when explaining your interests because it can make people lose interest. Instead, itā€™s important to break things down in a way that others can understand.

  • How does the script connect college admissions with personality?

    -The script connects college admissions with personality by explaining that colleges look for students with 'spikes'ā€”unique skills or interests that stand out. Having a 'spike' can help applicants get noticed without needing extraordinary achievements in multiple areas.

  • What is the scriptā€™s overall message about developing a personality?

    -The overall message is that developing a personality is about finding a unique interest, becoming knowledgeable in it, and using that as a way to stand out and engage others. It emphasizes that anyone can do this, and it doesn't require extraordinary experiences.

Outlines

00:00

šŸ¤” Why Does Finding a Personality Seem So Difficult?

The speaker explains that finding a personality as an adult feels much harder than it was in childhood, where interests like Harry Potter or frog facts easily defined one's identity. The adult struggle to articulate hobbies or interests leads to a sense of being boring. The speaker points out that common advice like 'just be yourself' is often ineffective, especially for introverts, and that personality is about being memorable and having clear traits. The example of extroverts effortlessly being interesting through their social skills is contrasted with introverts who may struggle to execute similar tactics.

05:01

šŸ§  The Power of Memorable Traits

The speaker suggests that personality isn't about how many cool experiences or skills one has but about being memorable and having things to talk about. Memorable people, like a playground bully or a quirky assembly speaker, often have strong, distinct traits. These clear traits are what make them stand out, and the speaker emphasizes that simply taking part in activities like reading books or traveling doesn't automatically make someone interesting. Instead, having a distinctive interest or trait gives you a personality that others can easily remember.

āœØ The Spike Method: How to Stand Out

Introducing the 'Spike method,' the speaker explains that developing expertise in one unique area helps people stand out, just like college admissions use spikes to identify unique students. The example of cleaning is used to illustrate this conceptā€”someone who invests time in learning about cleaning can quickly become an expert, making them memorable as 'the cleaning expert.' This, in turn, makes conversations more interesting, as people are intrigued by niche knowledge. The method doesnā€™t require you to talk about your specialty all the time; it simply helps you stand out and start conversations.

šŸ˜Ž Becoming an Expert in Anything

The speaker assures the audience that any interest can become a 'spike' if pursued with enough passion and knowledge. They highlight that becoming an expert in something, even something as simple as cleaning, can help you create engaging conversations and stand out from the crowd. The key is to develop a level of expertise that exceeds what most people know, and to introduce this in conversations when meeting new people, making you more memorable and interesting.

šŸŽ® Tailoring Your Expertise for Conversations

The speaker gives an example of being an expert in Minecraft and how it's important to explain it in simple terms to engage others. Since many people donā€™t know how Minecraft works, diving into complex jargon wonā€™t hold their interest. Instead, breaking it down into accessible language and explaining how you did something impressive, like beating the game without touching the ground, makes it relatable. The idea is that people are willing to listen as long as they can understand the topic, emphasizing clarity over complexity.

šŸ”¬ Simplicity is Key in Communication

The speaker stresses the importance of simplifying explanations to keep people engaged. Using Bill Nye as an example, they illustrate how a fun, accessible explanation of a scientific topic can keep an audience interested, compared to a PhD-level explanation that might alienate people. The lesson is that complex or niche topics are fine to talk about, but the delivery must be simple and relatable to maintain others' attention. The speaker humorously concludes by inviting people to support the channel through subscriptions.

Mindmap

Keywords

šŸ’”Personality

Personality in the video refers to the unique set of traits, behaviors, and characteristics that make someone memorable or interesting. The video emphasizes that developing a personality is simpler than often portrayed, especially when you focus on niche interests that make you stand out, or 'spike'.

šŸ’”Spike method

The 'Spike method' refers to a strategy for becoming interesting by excelling at something unique or niche. The video suggests that mastering an unusual interest (such as cleaning or Minecraft) helps create a memorable identity or 'spike' that makes you stand out in social situations, similar to how it works in college admissions.

šŸ’”Extrovert propaganda

'Extrovert propaganda' is a humorous term used in the video to describe advice like 'be yourself', which tends to favor extroverted people who naturally excel in social situations. The script implies that introverts need a more structured approach, such as the Spike method, to appear interesting and engaging.

šŸ’”Cleaning

Cleaning is used as an example of a niche hobby in the video to illustrate how an ordinary interest can be turned into a 'spike.' By becoming deeply knowledgeable about cleaning techniques and tools, one can present themselves as a cleaning expert, making them memorable in conversations.

šŸ’”College admissions

College admissions is used to explain how unique or 'spiked' personalities are favored in selective processes. The video suggests that standing out by being highly skilled in a specific area, no matter how obscure, can help students gain entry into prestigious institutions, which also applies to making an impression socially.

šŸ’”Harry Potter connect 4 frog kid

This phrase symbolizes how easy it is to form a personality as a child, where interests like 'Harry Potter,' knowing 'frog facts,' and being good at 'Connect 4' become part of a recognizable identity. The video contrasts this with the difficulty many adults face when trying to define their personality.

šŸ’”Robot vacuums

Robot vacuums serve as a specific example in the video of how a person who has specialized knowledge about cleaning could engage others in conversation. It's part of the broader argument that any seemingly mundane interest can be fascinating if you know more about it than most people do.

šŸ’”Competitive knitting

Competitive knitting is mentioned as an example of a 'spike'ā€”a highly niche interest that can make someone stand out. It illustrates the idea that even seemingly obscure hobbies can be used to create a memorable and unique personality that catches people's attention.

šŸ’”Minecraft

Minecraft is used to illustrate the importance of making niche interests understandable to others. The video explains that while expertise in Minecraft is valid, it must be presented in a way that non-players can comprehend, emphasizing the need for clear communication of specialized knowledge.

šŸ’”Bill Nye

Bill Nye is referenced as an example of someone who makes complex topics interesting by explaining them in simple terms. The video contrasts this with a hypothetical expert who uses jargon, highlighting the importance of clarity and accessibility in communicating oneā€™s niche interests.

Highlights

Getting a personality is way simpler than advice on the internet makes it seem.

As a kid, your personality could be as simple as being the 'Harry Potter connect 4 frog kid.'

Feeling boring often comes from not being able to name any interests or hobbies when asked.

Most advice on personality is just 'be yourself,' which is extrovert propaganda.

Extroverts can be interesting just by existing and using social wizard tactics.

If youā€™re not an extrovert, you might end up turning to personality tests, books, or pottery classes.

The more clear, memorable traits you can associate with someone, the more personality they seem to have.

What matters is not how many trips or books you experience, but how you make people remember things about you.

The Spike method helps you create a memorable personality by becoming an expert in something niche.

You can pick any interest, even something like cleaning, and become an expert to make yourself stand out.

Talking about something you know a lot about gives you an advantage in social interactions.

Your 'spike' doesn't have to define every conversation, but it helps get your foot in the door.

College admissions officers look for students with a 'spike' because it makes them stand out.

Even niche skills like competitive knitting or the medical applications of Tetris can serve as your spike.

Itā€™s important to explain your expertise in a way that other people can understand.

Transcripts

play00:00

Getting a personality is like getting intoĀ  Area 51 if the security guard was Helen Keller,

play00:06

Itā€™s really easy.

play00:08

Think about how easy it was when you were a kid.

play00:10

Your entire personalityĀ  would be like, Harry Potter,Ā Ā 

play00:13

knowing frog facts, and being good at connect 4.

play00:16

And that was just how it was.

play00:17

An adult comes up to you and starts aĀ  conversation, and within 40 seconds,Ā Ā 

play00:21

they know you as the HarryĀ  Potter connect 4 frog kid.

play00:25

But now for some reason, youĀ  canā€™t help but feel boring.

play00:28

Because after the 82nd time in a row of not beingĀ Ā 

play00:31

able to name a single one of yourĀ  interests and hobbies when asked,

play00:34

it might start to feel likeĀ  you just donā€™t have any.

play00:37

But, in fact, getting a personality is wayĀ  simpler than advice on the internet makes it seem.

play00:42

Most people say, ā€œbe yourselfā€, butĀ  thatā€™s just extrovert propaganda.

play00:46

Since extroverts can be interestingĀ  just by existing and using socialĀ Ā 

play00:50

wizard tactics that an introvert mayĀ  know about, but could never execute.

play00:54

So unless youā€™re willing to switch sides,Ā  your next option is to go to Google,

play00:58

where youā€™ll be directed toĀ  ads for personality tests,Ā Ā 

play01:02

books to read, and adviceĀ  to join a pottery class.

play01:13

That kid who pushed you over onĀ  the playground in kindergarten?

play01:20

The guy in cargo pants with exotic snakes who cameĀ  to your school assembly to tell you snake facts:

play01:29

Elon Musk:

play01:33

Adele:

play01:37

Youā€™ll notice that the more clear, memorableĀ  traits you can associate with someone,Ā Ā 

play01:41

the more ā€œpersonalityā€, theyā€™ll seem to have.

play01:44

Now what does that mean, for you?

play01:46

It means that no matter how many coolĀ  trips you go on to other countries,

play01:49

or how many books you read,

play01:51

or how many pottery classes you take,

play01:53

none of these things, by themselves,Ā  will give you a personality.

play01:57

At least, not in the way you care about.

play01:59

What you care about, is seeming interestingĀ  to people. Having stuff to talk about,Ā Ā 

play02:03

and having people remember things about you.

play02:05

And thereā€™s one easy way to do this.

play02:07

Itā€™s called the Spike method.

play02:08

This is actually a trick usedĀ  in college admissions to helpĀ Ā 

play02:11

regular students get into Ivy LeaguesĀ  without needing to donate a building.

play02:15

So letā€™s sayā€¦you like cleaning. Yeah, cleaning,Ā  itā€™s just an example, trust me for a second.

play02:21

You think cleaning, is relaxing,Ā  you think itā€™s interesting.

play02:24

Now imagine you spend a decent amount of timeĀ  every day cleaning, learning about cleaningĀ Ā 

play02:29

methods, reading up on the latest cleaning lore,Ā  watching cleaning videos, Maybe even save up toĀ Ā 

play02:35

get a pressure washer and psshfshssshsssĀ  the dirt on peopleā€™s driveways for money.

play02:39

Literally, in less than a month youā€™llĀ  have put more experience into cleaning

play02:44

than 99% people will ever have in their lifetime.

play02:47

Which means, the next time you meetĀ  someone, you will be known, to them,Ā Ā 

play02:51

as the cleaning expert. That mightĀ  not sound exciting. But watch this.

play02:55

ā€œSo what do you do for fun?ā€

play02:57

ā€œIā€™m really into cleaning. Iā€™ve learned so manyĀ  cool things the average person doesnā€™t know.ā€

play03:02

ā€œOh like what?ā€

play03:03

ā€œYou wanna know the truth about robot vaccuums?ā€

play03:06

ā€œIā€™ve been feeling kind ofĀ  bored lately. Not much to do.ā€

play03:09

ā€œI can bring my pressure washer to your houseĀ  and we can shoot the gunk off your driveway!ā€

play03:14

ā€œWowā€¦thatā€¦sounds pretty cool actually!ā€

play03:16

What are you doing this weekend?

play03:17

ā€œIdk I'm probably gonna fold my clothesĀ  using the worldā€™s fastest folding method.ā€

play03:22

ā€œThat exists?ā€

play03:23

ā€œYeah wanna learn it?ā€

play03:24

Now I know what you might be thinking. Thatā€™sĀ  not an interesting hobby. No oneā€™s gonna care.

play03:37

So just replace cleaning, withĀ  whatever you find interesting.

play03:40

And run with that. Donā€™t worry about being boring.

play03:43

Because, whatever you become the expert in,

play03:45

you donā€™t have to talk aboutĀ  that thing all the time.Ā 

play03:48

That thing just gets your foot in the door.

play03:50

So instead of just having to introduceĀ  yourself the same boring way as everyone else,

play03:54

you can get people to actually stop andĀ  listen to you, and then you can haveĀ Ā 

play03:57

normal conversation aboutā€¦how the subscribeĀ  button just looks really enticing sometimes.

play04:02

So again:

play04:02

step 1: find something that interestsĀ  you, no matter how weird it is

play04:07

step 2: gain experience in it until you knowĀ  slightly more about it than most people do

play04:11

step 3: When introducing yourselfĀ  to people, talk about this thing.

play04:15

step 4: thereā€™s no step 4. Itā€™s that easy.

play04:18

Fun fact:

play04:19

College admissions officers are literally paid toĀ  identify applicants who have cool personalities.

play04:25

When they discover that youā€™re betterĀ  than 99% of people at something obscure,Ā Ā 

play04:29

like cleaningā€¦they call it,Ā  wellā€¦.a spike. Cause it sticks out.

play04:33

Which is why the college essays with the highestĀ  success rate are always about some super nicheĀ Ā 

play04:37

thing like competitive knitting, orĀ  the medical applications of tetris.

play04:42

Now, important disclaimer: you can trulyĀ  pick anything you want as your ā€œspikeā€,

play04:47

But you gotta talk to people aboutĀ  it in a way THEY can understand.

play04:51

Letā€™s say youā€™ve spent a month becomingĀ  an expert in Minecraft. Thatā€™s valid.

play04:55

But no one will care if you goĀ  straight into talking about howĀ Ā 

play04:58

you beat the game without touching the ground.

play05:00

It's impressive, but

play05:01

The majority of people donā€™tĀ  know how Minecraft works,Ā Ā 

play05:05

and that there was ever a way toĀ  beat the game in the first place.

play05:08

I know right like its 2024 how do you not know-

play05:11

No, instead, explain what Minecraft is,Ā  how you got into it, how you beat it,Ā Ā 

play05:17

and then, explain how you didĀ  it, without touching the ground.

play05:20

Despite what you might think, people will actuallyĀ Ā 

play05:22

be patient to listen to any topicĀ  as long as they can understand it.

play05:26

The second you start using big wordsĀ  and niche terms to sound smart,Ā Ā 

play05:30

thatā€™s actually when people stop listening..

play05:32

Which is why when Bill Nye explainsĀ  volcanoes to you, itā€™s interesting.

play05:36

But when someone with a PhD inĀ  volcano science explains them,Ā Ā 

play05:40

you start wondering halfway throughĀ  if theyā€™re even a real person.

play05:43

So yeah, hopefully that was easy to understand.

play05:46

Iā€™ll be taking donations in the form of subscribes

play05:48

to fund the next video.

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Related Tags
Personality TipsSocial SkillsIntrovert AdviceBe InterestingHobbiesSelf ImprovementNiche ExpertiseSpike MethodConfidence BoostCollege Admissions