getting a personality is easy, actually
Summary
TLDRThe video discusses how developing a personality is simpler than it seems. It argues that instead of trying to be interesting through common hobbies or experiences, focusing on a niche passion can make someone more memorable. Using the 'Spike method,' one can become an expert in a unique area, like cleaning or Minecraft, and use that expertise to engage others in conversations. The key is explaining things in relatable terms, without overcomplicating them. Ultimately, it's about having something distinctive to talk about and sparking curiosity in others.
Takeaways
- š Developing a personality is simpler than it seems and involves focusing on memorable traits.
- š¤ Childhood personalities were often shaped by simple interests like Harry Potter or Connect 4, but as adults, we struggle to name our hobbies.
- š The common advice of 'be yourself' can be ineffective, especially for introverts who don't naturally thrive in social settings.
- š Seeking advice online leads to personality tests or unrelated suggestions, but these don't help much in cultivating an identity.
- š Memorable people tend to have clear, distinct traits, like the kid who bullied you or the snake expert at school.
- š” You donāt need extraordinary experiences to have a personality; instead, focus on being memorable by developing expertise in a niche.
- š§¹ The 'Spike method' involves becoming highly knowledgeable in a particular area, like cleaning, which can make you stand out.
- š People will find you interesting as long as you explain your niche in a way they understand, using simple language.
- š The key to seeming interesting isn't what you do but how you talk about it and make it relatable.
- š This method is also used in college admissions, where applicants with unique 'spikes' like niche hobbies or skills are more memorable.
Q & A
What is the central idea of the script?
-The script emphasizes that building a personality is simpler than it seems. It suggests focusing on a unique interest or skill (a 'spike') and becoming knowledgeable in it, which makes you more memorable and interesting to others.
What does the script mean by 'spike'?
-A 'spike' refers to a specific interest or skill that a person becomes an expert in, making them stand out and more memorable in social interactions. It's based on the idea that people with clear, identifiable traits seem more interesting.
Why does the script say 'be yourself' is extrovert propaganda?
-The script suggests that extroverts naturally appear interesting because they can easily engage others using social skills. For introverts, it argues that 'just being yourself' doesn't work as well because they might struggle to execute these social tactics.
What is the purpose of the 'cleaning' example in the script?
-The cleaning example demonstrates how any seemingly mundane interest can become a 'spike' if you invest enough time and knowledge into it. By mastering cleaning, you can turn it into something that sparks interest in conversations.
How does the script suggest introducing yourself using the 'spike' method?
-The script advises introducing yourself by mentioning your 'spike'āthe niche interest or skill you're knowledgeable in. For example, if you're passionate about cleaning, you could start a conversation by talking about unique cleaning techniques or tools.
What is the difference between being interesting and having a personality according to the script?
-According to the script, being interesting means having something memorable to talk about, while having a personality is about being able to consistently engage people through your unique traits or 'spike.'
Why does the script mention Minecraft as an example?
-Minecraft is used as an example of how to introduce a niche hobby to people in a relatable way. The script emphasizes the importance of explaining niche interests so others can understand, instead of jumping straight into complex details that might alienate them.
What does the script suggest about the role of jargon or niche terms in conversations?
-The script suggests avoiding jargon or niche terms when explaining your interests because it can make people lose interest. Instead, itās important to break things down in a way that others can understand.
How does the script connect college admissions with personality?
-The script connects college admissions with personality by explaining that colleges look for students with 'spikes'āunique skills or interests that stand out. Having a 'spike' can help applicants get noticed without needing extraordinary achievements in multiple areas.
What is the scriptās overall message about developing a personality?
-The overall message is that developing a personality is about finding a unique interest, becoming knowledgeable in it, and using that as a way to stand out and engage others. It emphasizes that anyone can do this, and it doesn't require extraordinary experiences.
Outlines
š¤ Why Does Finding a Personality Seem So Difficult?
The speaker explains that finding a personality as an adult feels much harder than it was in childhood, where interests like Harry Potter or frog facts easily defined one's identity. The adult struggle to articulate hobbies or interests leads to a sense of being boring. The speaker points out that common advice like 'just be yourself' is often ineffective, especially for introverts, and that personality is about being memorable and having clear traits. The example of extroverts effortlessly being interesting through their social skills is contrasted with introverts who may struggle to execute similar tactics.
š§ The Power of Memorable Traits
The speaker suggests that personality isn't about how many cool experiences or skills one has but about being memorable and having things to talk about. Memorable people, like a playground bully or a quirky assembly speaker, often have strong, distinct traits. These clear traits are what make them stand out, and the speaker emphasizes that simply taking part in activities like reading books or traveling doesn't automatically make someone interesting. Instead, having a distinctive interest or trait gives you a personality that others can easily remember.
āØ The Spike Method: How to Stand Out
Introducing the 'Spike method,' the speaker explains that developing expertise in one unique area helps people stand out, just like college admissions use spikes to identify unique students. The example of cleaning is used to illustrate this conceptāsomeone who invests time in learning about cleaning can quickly become an expert, making them memorable as 'the cleaning expert.' This, in turn, makes conversations more interesting, as people are intrigued by niche knowledge. The method doesnāt require you to talk about your specialty all the time; it simply helps you stand out and start conversations.
š Becoming an Expert in Anything
The speaker assures the audience that any interest can become a 'spike' if pursued with enough passion and knowledge. They highlight that becoming an expert in something, even something as simple as cleaning, can help you create engaging conversations and stand out from the crowd. The key is to develop a level of expertise that exceeds what most people know, and to introduce this in conversations when meeting new people, making you more memorable and interesting.
š® Tailoring Your Expertise for Conversations
The speaker gives an example of being an expert in Minecraft and how it's important to explain it in simple terms to engage others. Since many people donāt know how Minecraft works, diving into complex jargon wonāt hold their interest. Instead, breaking it down into accessible language and explaining how you did something impressive, like beating the game without touching the ground, makes it relatable. The idea is that people are willing to listen as long as they can understand the topic, emphasizing clarity over complexity.
š¬ Simplicity is Key in Communication
The speaker stresses the importance of simplifying explanations to keep people engaged. Using Bill Nye as an example, they illustrate how a fun, accessible explanation of a scientific topic can keep an audience interested, compared to a PhD-level explanation that might alienate people. The lesson is that complex or niche topics are fine to talk about, but the delivery must be simple and relatable to maintain others' attention. The speaker humorously concludes by inviting people to support the channel through subscriptions.
Mindmap
Keywords
š”Personality
š”Spike method
š”Extrovert propaganda
š”Cleaning
š”College admissions
š”Harry Potter connect 4 frog kid
š”Robot vacuums
š”Competitive knitting
š”Minecraft
š”Bill Nye
Highlights
Getting a personality is way simpler than advice on the internet makes it seem.
As a kid, your personality could be as simple as being the 'Harry Potter connect 4 frog kid.'
Feeling boring often comes from not being able to name any interests or hobbies when asked.
Most advice on personality is just 'be yourself,' which is extrovert propaganda.
Extroverts can be interesting just by existing and using social wizard tactics.
If youāre not an extrovert, you might end up turning to personality tests, books, or pottery classes.
The more clear, memorable traits you can associate with someone, the more personality they seem to have.
What matters is not how many trips or books you experience, but how you make people remember things about you.
The Spike method helps you create a memorable personality by becoming an expert in something niche.
You can pick any interest, even something like cleaning, and become an expert to make yourself stand out.
Talking about something you know a lot about gives you an advantage in social interactions.
Your 'spike' doesn't have to define every conversation, but it helps get your foot in the door.
College admissions officers look for students with a 'spike' because it makes them stand out.
Even niche skills like competitive knitting or the medical applications of Tetris can serve as your spike.
Itās important to explain your expertise in a way that other people can understand.
Transcripts
Getting a personality is like getting intoĀ Area 51 if the security guard was Helen Keller,
Itās really easy.
Think about how easy it was when you were a kid.
Your entire personalityĀ would be like, Harry Potter,Ā Ā
knowing frog facts, and being good at connect 4.
And that was just how it was.
An adult comes up to you and starts aĀ conversation, and within 40 seconds,Ā Ā
they know you as the HarryĀ Potter connect 4 frog kid.
But now for some reason, youĀ canāt help but feel boring.
Because after the 82nd time in a row of not beingĀ Ā
able to name a single one of yourĀ interests and hobbies when asked,
it might start to feel likeĀ you just donāt have any.
But, in fact, getting a personality is wayĀ simpler than advice on the internet makes it seem.
Most people say, ābe yourselfā, butĀ thatās just extrovert propaganda.
Since extroverts can be interestingĀ just by existing and using socialĀ Ā
wizard tactics that an introvert mayĀ know about, but could never execute.
So unless youāre willing to switch sides,Ā your next option is to go to Google,
where youāll be directed toĀ ads for personality tests,Ā Ā
books to read, and adviceĀ to join a pottery class.
That kid who pushed you over onĀ the playground in kindergarten?
The guy in cargo pants with exotic snakes who cameĀ to your school assembly to tell you snake facts:
Elon Musk:
Adele:
Youāll notice that the more clear, memorableĀ traits you can associate with someone,Ā Ā
the more āpersonalityā, theyāll seem to have.
Now what does that mean, for you?
It means that no matter how many coolĀ trips you go on to other countries,
or how many books you read,
or how many pottery classes you take,
none of these things, by themselves,Ā will give you a personality.
At least, not in the way you care about.
What you care about, is seeming interestingĀ to people. Having stuff to talk about,Ā Ā
and having people remember things about you.
And thereās one easy way to do this.
Itās called the Spike method.
This is actually a trick usedĀ in college admissions to helpĀ Ā
regular students get into Ivy LeaguesĀ without needing to donate a building.
So letās sayā¦you like cleaning. Yeah, cleaning,Ā itās just an example, trust me for a second.
You think cleaning, is relaxing,Ā you think itās interesting.
Now imagine you spend a decent amount of timeĀ every day cleaning, learning about cleaningĀ Ā
methods, reading up on the latest cleaning lore,Ā watching cleaning videos, Maybe even save up toĀ Ā
get a pressure washer and psshfshssshsssĀ the dirt on peopleās driveways for money.
Literally, in less than a month youāllĀ have put more experience into cleaning
than 99% people will ever have in their lifetime.
Which means, the next time you meetĀ someone, you will be known, to them,Ā Ā
as the cleaning expert. That mightĀ not sound exciting. But watch this.
āSo what do you do for fun?ā
āIām really into cleaning. Iāve learned so manyĀ cool things the average person doesnāt know.ā
āOh like what?ā
āYou wanna know the truth about robot vaccuums?ā
āIāve been feeling kind ofĀ bored lately. Not much to do.ā
āI can bring my pressure washer to your houseĀ and we can shoot the gunk off your driveway!ā
āWowā¦thatā¦sounds pretty cool actually!ā
What are you doing this weekend?
āIdk I'm probably gonna fold my clothesĀ using the worldās fastest folding method.ā
āThat exists?ā
āYeah wanna learn it?ā
Now I know what you might be thinking. ThatāsĀ not an interesting hobby. No oneās gonna care.
So just replace cleaning, withĀ whatever you find interesting.
And run with that. Donāt worry about being boring.
Because, whatever you become the expert in,
you donāt have to talk aboutĀ that thing all the time.Ā
That thing just gets your foot in the door.
So instead of just having to introduceĀ yourself the same boring way as everyone else,
you can get people to actually stop andĀ listen to you, and then you can haveĀ Ā
normal conversation aboutā¦how the subscribeĀ button just looks really enticing sometimes.
So again:
step 1: find something that interestsĀ you, no matter how weird it is
step 2: gain experience in it until you knowĀ slightly more about it than most people do
step 3: When introducing yourselfĀ to people, talk about this thing.
step 4: thereās no step 4. Itās that easy.
Fun fact:
College admissions officers are literally paid toĀ identify applicants who have cool personalities.
When they discover that youāre betterĀ than 99% of people at something obscure,Ā Ā
like cleaningā¦they call it,Ā wellā¦.a spike. Cause it sticks out.
Which is why the college essays with the highestĀ success rate are always about some super nicheĀ Ā
thing like competitive knitting, orĀ the medical applications of tetris.
Now, important disclaimer: you can trulyĀ pick anything you want as your āspikeā,
But you gotta talk to people aboutĀ it in a way THEY can understand.
Letās say youāve spent a month becomingĀ an expert in Minecraft. Thatās valid.
But no one will care if you goĀ straight into talking about howĀ Ā
you beat the game without touching the ground.
It's impressive, but
The majority of people donātĀ know how Minecraft works,Ā Ā
and that there was ever a way toĀ beat the game in the first place.
I know right like its 2024 how do you not know-
No, instead, explain what Minecraft is,Ā how you got into it, how you beat it,Ā Ā
and then, explain how you didĀ it, without touching the ground.
Despite what you might think, people will actuallyĀ Ā
be patient to listen to any topicĀ as long as they can understand it.
The second you start using big wordsĀ and niche terms to sound smart,Ā Ā
thatās actually when people stop listening..
Which is why when Bill Nye explainsĀ volcanoes to you, itās interesting.
But when someone with a PhD inĀ volcano science explains them,Ā Ā
you start wondering halfway throughĀ if theyāre even a real person.
So yeah, hopefully that was easy to understand.
Iāll be taking donations in the form of subscribes
to fund the next video.
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