How to gain RESPECT if you're young.
Summary
TLDRIn this video, the speaker shares a personal story of being disrespected and how he gained respect through self-improvement. He emphasizes the importance of gaining weight and size to command respect, as well as behaving maturely and taking responsibility for one's actions. The speaker suggests imagining one's best self to guide behavior in challenging social situations and encourages viewers to stand up for themselves when disrespected, advocating for self-respect as a path to earning the respect of others.
Takeaways
- 😟 The speaker shares a personal experience of being disrespected due to a lack of physical presence, highlighting the importance of gaining respect.
- 💪 The speaker emphasizes the need to gain weight and muscle mass as a way to command respect, suggesting that physical size is often associated with strength and authority.
- 🏋️♂️ The speaker recommends a bulking diet and weight training to increase size and muscle, which can lead to increased respect from peers.
- 👨👦 The speaker discusses the evolutionary and societal perception that bigger individuals are more respected, which influences how they are treated.
- 🤔 The speaker suggests that self-improvement, including gaining weight and building muscle, can lead to a base level of respect from others.
- 🧠 The speaker advises on the importance of acting maturely, especially when faced with disrespect, as immaturity can invite further disrespect.
- 💡 The speaker introduces the concept of 'Joseph 2.0' or one's best self, encouraging viewers to envision and act like their ideal mature version in various situations.
- 🗣️ The speaker encourages assertive communication when disrespected, suggesting that calmly expressing one's feelings can deter further disrespect.
- 🤝 The speaker stresses the importance of taking responsibility for one's own problems as a sign of maturity and a way to earn respect.
- 💪 The speaker concludes by motivating the audience to work towards self-improvement, emphasizing that respect is earned through effort and personal growth.
Q & A
What was the situation described at the beginning of the script where the speaker felt disrespected?
-The speaker was with a group of friends when one of them, who had started going to the gym, made a comment about the speaker's lack of muscle mass, leading to laughter from the others.
Why did the speaker feel that gaining mass was crucial for gaining respect?
-The speaker believes that people are biologically wired to respect bigger individuals, as it is an evolutionary trait to associate size with strength and leadership, thus gaining mass is a must to command respect.
What specific goal did the speaker set for himself in terms of weight gain?
-The speaker aimed to gain around 30 pounds, which is approximately 15 kg, and planned to add another 8 kg in the following year, with a target of reaching 80 kg.
How does the speaker suggest one should act when disrespected?
-The speaker advises that one should act with maturity and assertiveness, calmly expressing disapproval of disrespectful behavior, rather than responding with humor or anger.
What is the concept of 'Joseph 2.0' mentioned in the script?
-'Joseph 2.0' is the speaker's envisioned best version of himself, representing the ideal characteristics and behaviors he aspires to embody, such as maturity and respect.
Why is taking responsibility for one's own problems important according to the speaker?
-The speaker emphasizes that taking responsibility for one's own problems is a sign of maturity and manliness, which is essential for earning respect and solving issues effectively.
How does the speaker suggest one should handle repeated disrespect from others?
-The speaker recommends consistently and assertively communicating one's discomfort with the disrespectful behavior, which may eventually lead to the other person stopping the behavior.
What is the speaker's advice on how to improve one's social standing and gain respect?
-The speaker advises to gain mass, act with maturity, take responsibility for one's problems, and model behavior after one's ideal self-image, such as 'Joseph 2.0'.
What is the significance of the speaker's advice on not making fun of others?
-The speaker suggests that in order to gain respect, one must also show respect to others, implying that reciprocity and empathy are key components of earning and maintaining respect.
How does the speaker define maturity in the context of the script?
-Maturity, as defined by the speaker, involves taking responsibility for one's problems, acting with assertiveness and respect, and demonstrating a consistent and adult-like demeanor in social interactions.
Outlines
💪 Gaining Respect Through Physical Change
The speaker shares a personal story about being disrespected due to a lack of physical presence. They recount an incident where a friend made fun of their lack of muscle mass, which led to introspection about how to gain respect. The speaker emphasizes the importance of first impressions and physical size in earning respect, suggesting that gaining weight and muscle mass is a crucial step towards being taken more seriously by others. They share their own experience of gaining 30 pounds over a year and a half and how it helped in building a foundation of respect. The speaker encourages setting a weight gain goal and focusing on resistance training to promote muscle growth, which can lead to increased respect from peers.
🧠 Acting Maturely to Earn Respect
The speaker discusses how personal behavior and maturity play a significant role in gaining respect. They reflect on past immaturity, such as laughing at their own expense when disrespected, and how it contributed to a perception of inferiority. The speaker advocates for taking responsibility for one's problems and actions as a sign of maturity, contrasting it with blaming others. They suggest imagining an ideal future self, 'Joseph 2.0', and emulating that version's behavior in current situations. The speaker provides a practice of envisioning this ideal self and using it as a guide for actions and responses, especially when faced with disrespect. They emphasize the importance of standing up for oneself in a mature and assertive manner, even if it feels uncomfortable, as a means to earn respect and change others' behavior.
🗣 Assertiveness and Self-Improvement for Respect
The speaker continues to stress the importance of assertiveness in communication to gain respect. They advise directly addressing disrespectful behavior by calmly expressing disapproval, which can be intimidating at first but is essential for self-respect. The speaker acknowledges the fear and discomfort that come with standing up for oneself but encourages persistence, as it leads to others respecting boundaries. They also touch on the concept of not expecting respect if one does not show it to others. The speaker concludes by reinforcing the idea of self-improvement and the belief that anyone can earn respect through consistent effort and by embodying the qualities of the best version of themselves.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Respect
💡Disrespect
💡Muscle Mass
💡Maturity
💡Self-Improvement
💡First Impression
💡Caloric Surplus
💡Evolutionary
💡Responsibility
💡Assertiveness
💡Social Dynamics
Highlights
The importance of gaining respect from others and how it's tied to self-improvement.
A personal story about being disrespected due to physical appearance and the subsequent realizations.
The evolutionary perspective on why people tend to respect those who are physically larger.
The significance of first impressions and how physical size can influence respect.
The speaker's journey of gaining 30 pounds to improve self-esteem and command respect.
Advice on setting a weight gain goal to increase physical presence and respect.
The necessity of being in a caloric surplus and engaging in weight training for muscle growth.
The psychological impact of being disrespected and the importance of responding maturely.
The concept of maturity and how it's perceived by others in social interactions.
The idea that a boy becomes a man by taking responsibility for his own problems.
The practice of envisioning one's best self to guide behavior in challenging situations.
The strategy of confronting disrespectful behavior with assertiveness and maturity.
The importance of self-improvement and the belief that anyone can gain respect through effort.
The message that respect is not given freely but must be earned through personal development.
Encouragement to the audience to believe in their potential to gain respect and improve themselves.
Transcripts
let me ask you a question aren't you
tired of people disrespecting you you
say you want to be respected yeah you
don't do the things that would get you
the respect that you want let me tell
you a little story of mine so it was
around 2 years ago I had just met up
with some friends of mine one of them
started to go to the gym and he was
talking about how he's building muscle
and stuff the thing was new we were all
young and I remember this moment quite
vividly when a guy the guy that went to
the gym and we were we were a bunch of
guys there we were like three four five
guys and I remember the exact moment
when that guy looked at me and said like
look at this guy he doesn't even have
any muscle mass and I you know I was
sitting there I couldn't say anything
what would you say in my situation I was
a little twig of course I didn't say
anything and I know the other guys
looked at me they like laughed a bit and
everything and I feel like
[ __ ] you probably had this feeling
before someone looks at you disrespects
you says something bad to you and you
don't even do [ __ ] about it or you do
[ __ ] about it but you get into even
worse position and you genuinely feel
like [ __ ] I went home after that and I
started thinking to myself what did I do
wrong like why do these people
disrespect me and it's normal it's
normal because we want to be respected
by the people around us it's a normal
thing yeah we don't get it because we
might not even deserve it but let me
tell you how I got there let me tell you
how I got a decent level of respect and
I'm quite young I'm not an adult I don't
have a business I don't have a family
right but I got the respect of the men
around me in my high school and I'm not
that guy that gets thrown around and
that gets made fun of I'm not that guy
anymore I did some things that helped me
get to this point and you must do them
too if you find yourself in a situation
where you don't really have the respect
that you wanted to and this gets me to
the first point of this video let me ask
you a question when you look at someone
let's say they come in a room and you're
in the room and a guy walks in you've
never seen him in your life what is the
first thing that you notice about him
it's how he looks you don't notice about
him you don't know his emotions you
don't know his past you don't know
anything about him is the first
impression that matters and it's not the
face sh looks it's not the face many
people might think that oh yeah it's the
face I got to get the jawline I got to
get the nice hair and everything no it's
not the face you know what it is it's
the size of the guy you need to be brly
honest when you see a big guy you can't
help but respect him you can't help but
like move out the way when he walks in
front of you even if it's not all muscle
even if it's a little fat you cannot
help but respect him a little more
because we are wired to think that
bigger guys are more respected they're
Alpha and it's just evolutionary in our
minds so the first thing that you must
do it's a must when you want to get
respect is to gain gain Mass gain weight
many people these days just want to be
lean just they just want to be shredded
they want to have the Joline and
everything and that is nice but you need
to gain weight if you want to be
respected and that's the first thing
that I did that started getting me
respect in the past year and a half I've
gained around 30 30 lb which is like
almost 15 kg and I'm planning to do like
another 8 kg the next year like another
five the next year I want to get that up
to like 80 kg because that's what got me
the base of the respect if you're like a
little twig if you're like skinny if
you're short we can't do much things
about height but if you're like skinny
and you don't really have much mass on
you you cannot expect people to treat
you well what you want to do is be on a
bulk be in a caloric Surplus eat more
and you want to do all of this whilst
weight training whilst having some
resistance training that would that
would promote muscle growth and that way
you'll build muscle you might gain some
fat but it's not even that bad like a
little fat that will make you a little
bit bigger of course we want most of
that to be muscle but you need to
increase your size I want this to be one
of your biggest goals your biggest goals
take a pen and a piece of paper and
write it down and put it on your wall to
gain x amount of weight by next year is
December of 2023 by December of 2024 you
need to have a weight gain goal right
now if you already have it you can tell
me right now I don't care pause this
video get off the video I don't care if
the retention of this video drops I
don't give a [ __ ] I just want to see you
write that thing down cuz I care for you
cuz I was like this too and I wish
someone had told me this and let me ask
you a question now how do you behave
around other people let's say someone
disrespects you right how do you how do
you do with in that situation what do
you do someone disrespects you how do
you act do you act like a little kid or
do you act like a man which one of these
are you when you're talking to people do
you like go and tell some memes or stuff
and start joking around like a little
kid let me ask you another question how
do people perceive you if you can see
yourself from a third person perspective
Ive would you see you as like a man or
would you see you like a little boy when
people used to disrespect me I would I
would laugh at their joke about me I
would laugh about myself acting like a
little boy and I feel like [ __ ] inside
like you're so stupid Joseph and I was
yeah what the [ __ ] is this you need to
start acting with maturity when you get
insulted deeply and you feel it that's
not a nice feeling is it that's not a
good feeling to have because you also
think to yourself that you're
inferior when someone insults you you're
now an
inferior everyone around you is higher
than you and when people do that to you
that that's a sign that you're not
mature that's a sign that you let those
people do that to you if you are a
mature if you are a man those people
will not behave like this around you the
people who insult you would not insult
you how do you become more like a man
how do you become more mature how when
does a boy become a man a boy becomes a
man when he starts taking responsibility
of his own problems and don't take it
from me I don't say
it actual men say it don't take it from
me I'm not that that big of a man I'm
just telling you the things that started
to help me I'm not this man that you
should look up to cuz I'm on the same
level as you I'm still trying to become
a man don't you think that I'm I'm this
guy this big man I'm still making the
transition from boy to man I need to
humble myself so we need to take
responsibility over our problems cuz
it's not a thing that many many guys
they're not men many guys do they don't
even take responsibility over their own
problems but if you imagine like how a
man used to live 100 years ago you would
see a masculine man who owned every
single one of his problems and was so so
so manly that he was able to
to to take own ownership of others
problems of his wife's problems of his
children's problems if you want to be a
mature mature man you need to be able to
take your own problems and solve them
cuz we have problems and many times we
want to blame that to somebody else and
I found myself doing this and I'm as
shame of it but we need to start
thinking every single thing start
thinking of a problem in your life I
don't know what problems you have start
thinking of a problem in your life life
if you think that that problem is some
is made because of somebody else you're
a little [ __ ] every single problem that
you have you need to take it as your own
and you need to solve it it's your
problem your demand nobody's going to
save you you need to save yourself even
if you're right even if let's say
someone else made that problem you still
need to be able to own it you still need
to be able to work hard enough so that
be so that you become mature maturity
doesn't come from just owning your
problems or just doing this just doing
that it comes from everything it comes
from not making stupid jokes it it comes
from acting like an adult it comes from
taking
responsibility it comes from caring
about others so a little practice that I
want to give you on this point is close
your eyes right now I'm going to do this
myself and think of your future self
think of the best ever version of
yourself how the guy looks how the guy
acts think of that guy give it maybe a
name and let me tell you mine my version
of my best self is called Joseph 2.0 and
think about that guy the best version of
yourself maybe he has beautiful woman by
by his side maybe he has the respect of
other men maybe he has money maybe he
has this that anything that you want in
life think about it as the version of
yourself who has it think about that guy
give that guy a name and anytime you're
in a certain situation and you don't
know what to do ask yourself what would
the best version of my myself do what
would Joseph 2.0 do cuz that's the best
version of myself I called it I call it
Joseph 2.0 so I often throughout the day
I just ask myself what would Joseph 2.0
do that guy the man that I want to
become what would that guy do have a
conversation with your future self
whenever you feel like you're down
whenever you feel like you feel like a
little boy what would that guy do in a
social situation when someone
disrespects you ask yourself what would
that I do let's say someone disrespects
you maybe it's even even a social like
place like at school someone comes at
you and tells you a joke about yourself
he makes fun of your look at Joseph he
has this little shirt he looks so stupid
in that shirt right and everybody's
laughing and stuff like this what do you
do in that situation well how do you act
like a man what would the best version
of yourself do and let me tell you this
is what they would do you need to look
into their eyes simple mature and just
tell them
I don't like the way you speak to me I
don't think you should talk to me like
that
simple nothing more and now you might
think to yourself that oh my goodness I
can't do that because I I'm scared I
won't do the not people think I'm cringe
you might have all of these thoughts in
your head that's maybe because you're
not mature enough you're scared because
you're not mature
enough but you need to realize that this
is the only way you need to tell them
straight honest I don't like the way
you're talking to me I don't think this
is a good way to communicate with me and
they might not even be done one day two
days three days pass by and they might
tell you that joke again they might make
fun of you
again that might happen I'm not going to
tell you that it's not going to happen
but you need to be ready cuz it might
happen in that case you just need you
just tell them like I told you I don't
like the way you're talking to me I know
you might have a problem but I don't
really want people people to talk to me
this way you can you can just tell them
like I never talk to you this way if you
make jokes and you make fun of them also
don't expect don't expect to get respect
if you make fun of them if you don't
respect them they won't respect you but
if they if you never told them anything
bad about themselves or made fun of them
and they come at you and they make fun
of you you should totally tell them I
don't like the way they were talking to
me I don't think we can be friends
anymore or stuff like this go and tell
them and after you do this one time two
times they will actually start feeling
uncomfortable they would feel
uncomfortable and they they'll leave you
alone they won't tell you she like this
anymore because you are mature enough to
tell them this not many people do this
it's not comfortable but that's how you
get there and I really hope that you can
get there I really believe that you if
you watch this you can become that guy
who gets the respect don't forget to ask
yourself what would the best version of
myself what would Joseph to doing that
situation my name is Joseph that's why I
sell it but whatever you 2.0 is whatever
your name is whatever that version of
yourself does ask yourself what would
that guy
do start putting on the mass the
kilograms the size and you'll get there
I truly believe that you'll get there
but you need to you need to prove to the
world you need to prove to the world
that you deserve it and when you prove
to the world that you deserve it you'll
actually get it
Nothing in life comes easy Nothing in
life will come to you without a price
you need to pay that price and respect
does have a price to pay and again I'm
not this big masculine guy I'm not the
big man who can tell you about
everything about respect but these are
the things that I did to get respect of
other men and I'm young I'm young and
young people are often disrespected but
I I was able to get a decent amount of
respect and I don't really get made made
fun of not not at all you can get there
bro and I truly believe in you just
continue to do the thing that's good the
self-improvement habits you'll get there
bro don't worry but you got to work for
it
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