Finding a way through suicidal feelings | 8 stories of hope

Summary

The speaker shares a deeply personal story of despair and suicidal thoughts at 13, feeling like a burden and wanting to escape the pain. They emphasize the misconception of suicide as selfishness and the struggle to seek help. The turning point was asking for help, leading to overwhelming support and a realization of hope. They encourage others in similar situations to reach out, highlighting the importance of connection and the possibility of overcoming despair.

Takeaways

• 🌌 The speaker felt hopeless and wanted to escape their pain at the age of 13.
• 🛫 They had a desire for the plane to crash to avoid the feeling of fault.
• 🏥 They wished for a terminal illness as a way to numb their emotional pain.
• 👨‍👧‍👦 The speaker felt like a burden to their family and wanted to alleviate that.
• 🤔 They struggled with the misconception that suicide is a selfish act.
• 🗣️ It was difficult for them to ask for help, fearing acknowledgment of their situation.
• 💪 Asking for help provided a sense of relief and support from friends.
• 👫 The speaker's friends were shocked but supportive when they opened up about their feelings.
• 🌟 They found hope and strength in the support of others and the realization that they were not alone.
• 🏆 The speaker highlights the importance of holding onto hope, even if it's just a small glimmer.
• 🤝 Encouraging others to reach out and seek support, emphasizing that they are not alone.

Q & A

At what age did the speaker first attempt to end their life?

The speaker was 13 years old when they first attempted to end their life.

What was the speaker's emotional state during the flight when they were 13?

The speaker was feeling hopeless and wanted the plane to fall out of the sky to escape their pain.

Why did the speaker feel they had no future?

The speaker felt they had no future because they thought they were going to lose their children forever.

What was the speaker's primary motivation for wanting to escape their body?

The speaker wanted to escape their body to numb the pain and torment they were experiencing.

How did the speaker perceive their situation compared to others?

The speaker felt at an intense disadvantage, comparing their struggle to slogging through thick mud while others seemed to walk by casually.

What misconception about suicide does the speaker address?

The speaker addresses the misconception that suicide is a selfish act, explaining that it's not about selfishness but feeling like a burden during intense pain.

What was the speaker's greatest fear when considering asking for help?

The speaker's greatest fear was being locked up, which made it difficult for them to ask for help.

What was the speaker's experience after finally asking for help?

After asking for help, the speaker was met with support and felt an immediate sense of relief.

How did the speaker's mindset change after seeking help?

After seeking help, the speaker felt lighter, both physically and mentally, and started to see hope.

What advice does the speaker give to those who are considering suicide?

The speaker advises finding someone they feel comfortable with to say they are not okay and to hold onto any light of hope, no matter how small.

What message does the speaker want to convey to those who are struggling with suicidal thoughts?

The speaker wants to convey that they are not alone, that others care about them, and that there is a way out of their situation.

Outlines

00:00

💔 Struggling with Suicidal Thoughts

The speaker shares their personal experience of suicidal thoughts at the age of 13. They describe the desperation and hopelessness that led them to wish for an end to their life. They felt like a burden to others and believed that ending their life would be a solution for both themselves and their family. Despite this, they also recognized an inner desire to live, indicating a conflict between the pain they felt and the wish to escape it without actually dying. The speaker emphasizes the importance of seeking help and the relief that comes from asking for support, which was met with understanding and assistance from friends and family.

05:02

🤝 Support and Hope in Darkness

The speaker discusses the power of support and the importance of not feeling alone when facing suicidal thoughts. They encourage reaching out to someone, even if it's difficult, and express the value of holding onto hope. The speaker shares their own journey of recovery and the significance of small glimmers of hope that can help one to keep going. They also emphasize the importance of others showing up for those in need, simply by being present and offering support without judgment. The message concludes with a reminder that one is more than their depression and that there is much to look forward to on the other side of despair.

Keywords

💡Suicidal Thoughts

Suicidal thoughts refer to feelings of wanting to end one's own life. In the video, the speaker describes having these thoughts from the age of 13, driven by overwhelming emotional pain and a desire to escape. They express a sense of hopelessness and the belief that death is the only way to stop the suffering.

💡Mental Pain

Mental pain is the intense emotional and psychological distress that the speaker experiences, which leads to suicidal thoughts. The speaker describes the torment of feeling trapped in their own mind, unable to escape from the inner turmoil. The pain is so unbearable that it feels like the only solution is to end their life.

💡Hope

Hope represents the possibility of a better future, even when things seem unbearable. Despite the speaker’s deep feelings of despair, they mention moments when they recognized that there might be something worth living for, such as the hope of not being alone in their suffering or finding a way to manage their pain. Hope eventually became a key factor in their decision to seek help and continue living.

💡People Pleasing

People pleasing refers to the act of prioritizing others' happiness over one’s own needs. The speaker explains how, from a young age, they learned to be a people pleaser, constantly worried about being a burden to their family and friends. This added to their feelings of guilt and contributed to their emotional struggles.

💡Support

Support is the assistance and understanding the speaker received when they finally opened up about their suicidal thoughts. They were initially afraid of seeking help but were met with empathy and care from their loved ones and friends. This support played a crucial role in helping them realize they were not alone and could manage their pain.

💡Asking for Help

Asking for help is portrayed as one of the hardest yet most essential steps in dealing with suicidal thoughts. The speaker highlights the difficulty of admitting that something is wrong, but emphasizes that seeking help was a turning point. By asking for help, the speaker found relief and started to address their mental health issues.

💡Stigma

Stigma refers to the negative perceptions and judgments surrounding mental health and suicide. The speaker talks about the fear of being judged or locked up if they expressed their suicidal thoughts. This fear delayed their decision to seek help, but overcoming the stigma was essential in their recovery.

💡Relief

Relief is the feeling of weight lifting off the speaker's shoulders once they finally verbalized their struggles and asked for help. The speaker describes a profound sense of lightness and freedom after sharing their thoughts, contrasting the intense burden they felt while keeping everything inside.

💡Depression

Depression is the underlying mental health condition that the speaker refers to throughout the video. They describe the heavy, persistent sadness and hopelessness that made them feel disconnected from life. The speaker highlights that depression can distort one’s thinking, making suicide seem like the only option, even though they didn't want to die.

💡Connection

Connection refers to the importance of finding someone to confide in during moments of extreme emotional distress. The speaker emphasizes that reaching out to even one person can make a significant difference. Feeling connected to others helped the speaker realize they were not alone in their struggle and gave them the strength to continue living.

Highlights

The speaker shares a deeply personal experience of attempting suicide at the age of 13.

A desire to escape the pain of living, feeling like a burden to others.

The misconception that suicide is a selfish act, when it's often a cry for help.

The struggle to ask for help, fearing judgment and the stigma associated with mental health.

The relief and support received from friends and family after openly admitting suicidal thoughts.

The importance of seeking help and not viewing it as a sign of weakness.

The transformative power of admitting to oneself and others that one needs help.

The feeling of a burden being lifted after opening up about mental health struggles.

The realization that there is hope and that life can improve after hitting rock bottom.

The speaker's determination to live for the sake of their daughter and the hope she represents.

The message that suicidal thoughts are isolating but one is not alone in their struggle.

The encouragement to reach out to someone, even if it's difficult, to find support.

The speaker's belief that there is more to life than depression and that there is hope for a better future.

The powerful impact of simply being present and offering support to someone in need.

The affirmation that many people care and love you, even if they haven't met you yet.

The final message of the importance of connection, love, and the potential for change in one's mental state.

Transcripts

uh so i guess why

i'm

sharing this is because uh you know i

feel i'm fortunate enough to have

been through an experience that i've

managed to learn quite a bit from

so i was 13 at the time

and that was the first time when i tried

to end my life

this was on a flight and i was looking

out the window

i just wanted the the plane to fall out

of the sky just at least then i would

have felt that it wasn't my fault i wish

when i go to the doctor's he will tell

me i've got a terminal illness at that

time i felt like i had no future i had

no hope i thought

i was going to lose my children forever

i wanted to numb that feeling

to numb what was going on in my own head

because i didn't understand it the

thought process at the time was the only

way i can escape this pain is to escape

this body because i thought that was my

only option i was at the point that i

would do anything

just just to stop the pain and the

torment if this was all that there was

to look forward to for the next 50 60

years i just wanted to check out i just

didn't want to be

in existence anymore i couldn't see a

reason to live

you're slogging through thick mud and

you look around and you see that people

are just casually walking by it feels

like you're in an intense disadvantage

one of the common misconceptions about

suicide is that it's

a selfish act but in the moment of that

intense pain it's not about a

selfishness you feel like you're a

burden to everyone because of the way

you feel i'd learned to be a people

pleaser and i didn't want to be a burden

myself to others even at 10 years of age

i thought that i was actually being mean

to my family

by staying here by living it felt like a

solution for me and it felt like a

solution for my family and yet there was

this other side of my brain that was

telling me

that i didn't actually want to be dead

it was just that i wanted the pain to

stop i knew i wanted the pain to go away

but i didn't want to die i needed to get

help desperate at that stage but i

gained delayed and delayed and delayed

the hardest thing to do

was to ask for help because it

acknowledges two things one that

things aren't the way that you want them

to be and two that they can be better

the worst thing that i could that i was

afraid of was being locked up the

difficulty can be

those first words i always used to be

afraid of using the word suicidal are

you having thoughts of suicide there's a

huge relief when you say those words out

loud

i was met with something completely

different that i didn't think was going

to actually happen i was met with

support they're in shock my mates

but

100 supportive i just said quite loudly

and really strongly

tried to end my life on the weekend i

really need help and i felt an immediate

sense of relief you do need to seek help

it's not a sign of weakness and in fact

a sign of strength sami

i knew something had changed i put my

hand up

and said to my husband please help me

and those three words changed everything

the moment that i actually just let it

all out

i felt those

really heavy weights

just lift off my body not even just my

shoulders my body i felt lighter

my mind felt lighter

that pain peaks at the top like when

you're on a roller coaster that

eventually it becomes

bearable

and that was the part that every now and

then would come into my head and say you

know george there is hope there is

something out there and there's so much

that i would have missed winning an

undefeated premiership even if it is the

division three reserves is still

undefeated as far as i'm concerned it

made me feel like i wasn't in this alone

i'm so glad to be here because i have my

daughter and you use the hope that bit

of hope and fight

you keep pushing through for you i know

that what you're feeling right now

feels like the only option that you have

i completely understand

that feeling

of not wanting to be here and how

intense that can be suicidal thoughts

particularly want you to be alone you're

not alone others have that experience

and that there is a way out of that

find someone that one person who you

feel comfortable and saying you know

what

i'm not okay you might not

feel like you can do it for yourself

right now

do it for your friends and your family

because they care about you so much hold

on to that light no matter how small it

is you are and i am more than my

depression i am many things there's so

much to hope for there is a whole other

side to this that mindset might just

change too

maybe it is worth it you know maybe

there is a reason to keep going if you

or a loved one is facing this situation

it's so powerful just to say to them i'm

here with you i'll ask nothing of you

than to just sit and be

together

i want you to live

i want you to know that you're not alone

many of us care about you and we love

you even if we haven't met you yet

[Music]

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