Self Maximize (Introduction)

hoe_math
1 Mar 202424:10

Summary

TLDRThe video script outlines a self-improvement strategy called 'Self Maximize,' focusing on enhancing one's dating market value. It emphasizes the importance of recognizing personal desires and making conscious changes in behavior to achieve better outcomes. The speaker shares his transformational journey, highlighting the significance of fitness, fashion, social skills, and mindset shifts. The script introduces a mind map based on integral theory, aiming to guide viewers in self-reflection and improvement across various life aspects, including physical appearance, social status, and personal growth. It also touches on the challenges and strategies for both men and women in the dating market, advocating for a proactive approach to self-improvement.

Takeaways

  • 🔍 The video script is a detailed guide on self-improvement, particularly focusing on enhancing one's dating market value through self-reflection and action.
  • 🏋️‍♂️ The speaker emphasizes the importance of physical transformation, such as losing weight and building muscle, as a significant step in improving one's attractiveness.
  • 👔 Fashion and grooming are highlighted as crucial elements in self-improvement, with the advice to dress well, maintain good hygiene, and project a positive image.
  • 💼 The script suggests that developing social skills, confidence, and competence are essential for increasing one's desirability in the dating market.
  • 💡 The concept of 'self-maximize' is introduced as a strategy to achieve personal goals by aligning one's behaviors and mindset with the desired outcomes.
  • 🌟 The speaker shares personal experiences, such as moving across the country and building a successful social media channel, to illustrate the transformative power of self-improvement.
  • 🧠 The video references 'integral Theory' and provides a personalized version of it to help viewers understand and apply the concepts of self-improvement more effectively.
  • 📈 The script outlines a systematic approach to self-improvement, encouraging viewers to think about their desires, ego, and decisions, and how to change them for better results.
  • 💰 The importance of financial stability and success is discussed, noting that it plays a significant role in increasing one's dating market value for both men and women.
  • 🤝 The video concludes with actionable advice, including a downloadable map and a checklist for self-assessment, to guide viewers in their journey of self-improvement.

Q & A

  • What is the main purpose of the 'Self Maximize' mind map?

    -The 'Self Maximize' mind map is designed to help individuals self-reflect and self-improve, particularly in terms of their dating market value. It serves as a guide to understand how changes in one's mindset and actions can lead to different outcomes in life.

  • How did the speaker transform himself from a 'total loser' to having better dating options?

    -The speaker transformed himself by losing 100 pounds, getting in shape, learning how to dress well, eliminating insecurities, improving social skills, seeking information, learning independently, and successfully moving across the country to follow a dream.

  • What is Integral Theory and how does it relate to 'Self Maximize'?

    -Integral Theory is a framework for understanding the development of human consciousness. The speaker has created a version of it to simplify understanding and apply it to self-improvement. It forms the basis of the 'Self Maximize' mind map, which is a flowchart illustrating how life works and how one can change their behaviors to achieve desired outcomes.

  • What is the role of feedback in the process of self-maximization?

    -Feedback plays a critical role in self-maximization as it provides individuals with the opportunity to reflect on their actions and their outcomes. It allows them to recognize what they might be missing and to make necessary changes to their behaviors and mindset to achieve their desired results.

  • Why is 'Consciousness' important in the self-maximization process?

    -Consciousness is important because it involves being aware of how one's actions and traits are perceived by others and how they align with what others value. It moves individuals away from self-centered thinking towards a more considerate and effective approach to achieving their goals, particularly in social and dating contexts.

  • What are some examples of low Consciousness mindsets mentioned in the script?

    -Low Consciousness mindsets include expecting others to like you for no reason, being self-interested and egocentric, and seeing others as means to an end rather than as individuals with their own preferences.

  • How does the speaker suggest one should approach changing their behaviors to improve their dating market value?

    -The speaker suggests recognizing what one wants, considering where the best place to get it is, and then designing behaviors accordingly. This involves getting feedback from the environment and responding to it thoughtfully, rather than just expecting things to change without making any effort.

  • What is the significance of the 'zones' in the self-maximization process?

    -The 'zones' represent different areas of life that one needs to focus on for self-improvement. They include aspects like physical appearance, social skills, financial stability, and emotional intelligence. Each zone has specific questions and exercises to help individuals think about how they can improve in those areas.

  • Why is 'Investment' important in the context of relationships as discussed in the script?

    -Investment in the context of relationships refers to the time, attention, and resources one puts into a partner. It is important because it demonstrates commitment and value, which are essential for building and maintaining a strong and healthy relationship.

  • How does the speaker define 'Purity' in relation to self-maximization for women?

    -The speaker defines 'Purity' as how much a woman reserves her body for a potential partner. It is considered important because it influences how a woman is perceived in terms of her potential as a long-term partner, particularly in the context of dating and relationships.

Outlines

00:00

🔍 Self-Maximize: A Journey of Personal Transformation

The speaker introduces 'Self-Maximize,' a mind map aimed at personal growth, particularly in the context of dating market value. They share their own transformation story, detailing how they improved their physical appearance, social skills, and self-confidence, which led to a significant increase in their dating market value. The speaker emphasizes the importance of self-reflection and self-improvement, drawing on their own experiences of weight loss, fitness, learning to dress well, and developing social skills. They also discuss their move across the country to pursue a dream, the subsequent challenges, and the creation of a successful social media channel. The speaker outlines the concept of 'Self-Maximize' as a process of recognizing one's desires, changing one's thoughts and behaviors, and receiving better results from the world. The video also promotes a sponsor, 'Short Form,' which offers condensed versions of books and articles for easier learning and understanding.

05:01

📈 The Path to Self-Maximization: Understanding the Flowchart of Life

The speaker explains the concept of 'Self-Maximize' as a flowchart of life, illustrating how desires become thoughts, behaviors, and eventually life experiences. They stress the importance of feedback and conscious decision-making in personal growth. The speaker provides a detailed checklist and map to guide viewers in self-reflection and behavior modification. They discuss the importance of 'Consciousness' in personal development, contrasting low and high consciousness behaviors and their impact on dating and social success. The speaker uses examples to illustrate how individuals can fail to achieve their desires by not adapting their behaviors based on feedback. They conclude by encouraging viewers to use the provided tools to increase self-awareness and make changes for a better life.

10:01

👔 The Art of Masculinity and Personal Presentation

The speaker delves into the importance of physical appearance, fashion, and grooming for men in the context of self-maximization. They emphasize the significance of fitness, dressing well, and maintaining good hygiene as key aspects of attractiveness. The speaker provides advice on how to dress appropriately, put together outfits that match, and express one's personality through clothing. They also discuss the importance of posture, confident speech, and avoiding behaviors that may be perceived as unattractive. The speaker uses examples to illustrate how small changes in appearance and behavior can lead to significant improvements in social and dating success.

15:02

💪 Power, Status, and Skills: The Pillars of Male Attractiveness

The speaker discusses the attributes of power, status, and skills as essential for men in self-maximization. They define power as the ability to make things happen and stop things from happening, emphasizing the importance of financial stability and control. The speaker also talks about status, respect, and dominance as parts of hierarchy that are attractive to women. They suggest that men should develop skills that women value and maintain a strong presence in their interactions. The speaker provides examples of how men can demonstrate these qualities and the impact they have on attracting a partner.

20:03

🌟 The Galaxy of Self-Maximization: Bonus Traits and Closing Thoughts

The speaker concludes the discussion on self-maximization by addressing additional traits that contribute to personal growth and attractiveness. They touch on the importance of loyalty, treating women well, investing value, and maintaining a positive reputation. The speaker also discusses the concept of 'Galaxy,' which includes a variety of minor traits and circumstances that can influence one's dating market value. They emphasize that while self-maximization is more challenging for women due to societal expectations and gender roles, both men and women can benefit from self-improvement and adapting their behaviors based on feedback. The speaker encourages viewers to use the provided map and checklist to reflect on their own lives and make necessary changes for personal growth.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Self-maximize

Self-maximize refers to the process of self-improvement and self-reflection aimed at increasing one's value in various aspects of life, particularly in the dating market. The video's theme revolves around this concept, suggesting that by changing one's mindset and behaviors, one can achieve better results in life. An example from the script is the speaker's personal transformation from a 'loser' to having many options after losing weight, improving dress sense, and working on social skills.

💡Consciousness

In the context of the video, 'Consciousness' is the awareness and understanding of one's own thoughts, actions, and their impact on the world. It is highlighted as a key factor in self-maximization, as it allows individuals to reflect on their desires and how they can align their behaviors to achieve them. The speaker criticizes low consciousness behaviors, such as being self-interested and egocentric, which do not consider how the world perceives and reacts to them.

💡Feedback

Feedback in the video script is the response or reaction one receives from their environment after performing certain behaviors. It is a crucial element in the process of self-maximization, as it allows individuals to assess whether their actions are leading to the desired outcomes. The speaker emphasizes the importance of paying attention to feedback and using it to adjust one's behaviors, rather than ignoring it or resisting change.

💡Desire

Desire is presented in the video as the starting point for all actions and changes in one's life. It is the initial want or need that propels individuals to think and behave in certain ways. The script explains that desires unconsciously drive life, and by recognizing and understanding these desires, individuals can begin to consciously shape their thoughts and actions to achieve them.

💡Behaviors

Behaviors are the actions that individuals exhibit as a result of their thoughts and desires. The video script discusses how behaviors are influenced by one's environment and feedback, and how changing behaviors can lead to different outcomes in life. The speaker shares his own experiences, such as getting in shape and learning to dress well, as examples of how altering behaviors can significantly improve one's dating market value.

💡Investment

Investment in the video refers to the resources, such as time, money, and energy, that individuals put into their relationships and personal development. It is discussed as a key aspect of self-maximization, particularly in the context of dating, where investing value in oneself and others can lead to improved outcomes. The speaker advises considering how one's actions and investments align with their desired results.

💡Masculinity

Masculinity in the video is associated with traits and behaviors traditionally considered male, such as strength, confidence, and the ability to provide and protect. The speaker emphasizes the importance of developing masculine traits as part of self-maximization for men, suggesting that these qualities are highly valued in the dating market and can significantly improve one's attractiveness.

💡Purity

Purity, particularly in the context of women's self-maximization, refers to modesty and the reservation of one's body and sexual energy for a committed relationship. The video script discusses how purity can be a valuable trait in the dating market, as it signals to potential partners a woman's commitment to a serious, long-term relationship rather than casual encounters.

💡Status

Status is mentioned in the video as a measure of an individual's rank or position within a social hierarchy. It is considered important in self-maximization because it influences how others perceive and treat a person. The speaker explains that achieving a higher status can lead to increased respect, importance, and dominance, which can improve one's dating market value and overall life outcomes.

💡Fitness

Fitness is highlighted in the video as a critical aspect of self-maximization, especially for men. It refers to being in good physical condition, which can include being strong, lean, and healthy. The speaker shares his personal journey of losing weight and getting 'jacked' as a way to improve his attractiveness and overall life value, emphasizing that fitness can have a profound impact on one's dating market value.

Highlights

Self-Maximize is a mind map designed for self-reflection and self-improvement, particularly in dating market value.

The speaker shares their personal transformation journey from a 'four' to an 'eight' in dating market value.

Losing 100 lbs and improving physical fitness played a significant role in the speaker's transformation.

Learning to dress well and eliminating insecurities were key steps in the speaker's self-improvement.

The speaker emphasizes the importance of seeking information and learning independently for self-growth.

Self-Maximize is based on Integral Theory, adapted for easier understanding and application.

The video introduces Short Form, a tool for summarizing and distilling key points from books and articles.

The concept of 'zones' is explained as a framework for understanding individual categories for self-improvement.

The mind map serves as a flowchart to understand how life works unconsciously and how to change it consciously.

The speaker outlines the importance of recognizing desires, thoughts, behaviors, and feedback for self-improvement.

Consciousness is highlighted as a key factor in self-maximization, moving away from egocentric thinking.

Examples are given to illustrate the consequences of not adapting to feedback for self-improvement.

The speaker discusses the importance of changing one's mindset and behaviors to align with desired outcomes.

The video provides a detailed checklist for self-improvement, focusing on areas such as fitness, fashion, and social skills.

The concept of 'investment' in relationships is introduced, discussing the importance of time, attention, and resources.

The speaker differentiates between 'status' and 'presentability' as factors in attraction and relationship success.

The video concludes with a call to action for viewers to use the provided tools and framework for self-reflection and change.

Transcripts

play00:01

this is self- maximize it is a mind map

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designed to help you self-reflect and

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self-improve especially in terms of your

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dating market value why am I qualified

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to tell you how to do this well I once

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went from being about a four to about an

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eight moving from here to here is one of

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the greatest things you can do for

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yourself look at all these nice colorful

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lines those are attention and I

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accomplished that by losing 100 lb while

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getting jacked learning how to dress

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eliminating my insecurities working on

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my social skills seeking information and

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learning independently moving across the

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country following a dream very

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successfully which was then destroyed by

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Co moving across the country again and

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then starting this social media channel

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which now has millions and millions of

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views and I make a living on it and it's

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only been 7 months achieving these

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things transformed me from a total loser

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into well you should see my options

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right now self maximize is based

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partially on another mind map called

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integral Theory I made made my own

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version of it for easy understanding if

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you like understanding things more

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easily you can also try short form the

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sponsor of this video we all want to

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learn more than we have time for if

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you're like me you probably get a lot of

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books but you don't finish every word in

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them this one says welcome mem Lord I

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used to make these note cards for books

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I read and now I don't have to look how

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organized and they even have exercises

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short form takes your favorite books and

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articles and makes them easier to digest

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I use short form to read about woke

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washing philosophy self Improvement

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motivation it makes it so easy you get

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these short summaries and these major

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points distill down to notes this one is

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particularly relevant sign up now

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through this URL and get a free trial

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with unlimited access and 20% off an

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annual subscription go to short.com

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helath and learn faster to learn faster

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about how to self- maximize pay

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attention to these seven things what

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self- maximize basically means is if you

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know what you want and you can change

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your mind and the things that you do

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then the world around you will give you

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a different and hopefully better result

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this map is a flowchart of how that

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works and you can consult it to figure

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out what you might be missing originally

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self- maximize was just going to be an

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in-depth explanation of what you need to

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do for every individual category on

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zones and I'm still going to go over

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those but the more I wrote the more I

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found that I can't give everyone advice

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at once this is 23 pages in later videos

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I might go into detail on things like

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Fitness diet fashion social status but

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that's too much for one video so instead

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I'm just showing you how I did it it's

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based on getting feedback from your

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environment and responding to it

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thoughtfully I also included some of the

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exercises I did on the self- maximize

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PDF packet which is for sale on my

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patreon so I'm going to do two things in

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this video I'm going to go over this

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checklist that explains zones in more

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detail and I'm going to show you how to

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think about them using this map here's

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how the map works these gray arrows

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represent how life Works unconsciously

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when you're not thinking about it

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everything in your life starts with a

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desire like I'm hungry or I have to go

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to work or I want a girlfriend and then

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those desires become mental they become

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thoughts and then they become your

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behaviors which then go into your

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environment which reacts to them and

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those reactions become your life when

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you experience your life you get

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feedback and then you have the

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opportunity to think about it and change

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what you do which is where most people

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fail so this map encourages you to think

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of things out of order start by

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recognizing what you want and then begin

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thinking about where would be the best

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place to get it before you begin to

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design your behaviors I've broken each

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of these sections down with questions

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that help you think about them and

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exercises to help change the way you

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think these are designed to increase

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your Consciousness why does

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Consciousness matter I've made a lot of

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videos about women saying things like

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I'm a 10 you're a 10 we're all 10

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everyone's perfect I am the table is a

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popular one it basically means I don't

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have to provide anything but you do the

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male version of this is I want her to

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like me for me and not for any of the

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actual reasons that women might like men

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this style of thinking is low

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Consciousness it is self-interested it

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is egocentric it sees others as a a

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means to an end basically they should

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like you and not as individuals who have

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their own things that they like so some

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people want things but they forget about

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what the world wants from them and they

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never think about how they could provide

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those things so to summarize self-

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maximize it's basically don't be this

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don't just say oh me my needs who's

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going to like me for me be this and then

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look for somebody who is willing to be

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that for you here like this and if you

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can become more conscious of how to

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become those things your life gets

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better really fast in other words you

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cannot make people like you you just

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have to be what they like here are some

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failures to do that like I said I got in

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really good shape but I wasn't able to

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make very much money until recently so a

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lot of women would enter my life but

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then also leave I had a lot of

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attractive traits so I got a lot of this

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but I did not have many reliable traits

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so I didn't get much of that what I

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failed to do was change my mind and my

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behaviors in a way that made the world

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want to give me money so I had a desire

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that was not realized and I failed to

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understand that this was the only way I

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could change it example number two I

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used to have a Russian friend with a

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scar on his face Russia is pretty cool

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and he said he wanted to get rid of his

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accent he took very heavy Russian accent

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you know how it goes so I go that's

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great I can help with that you remember

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remember a minute ago when you asked me

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to open the window and he goes yes and I

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go okay instead of saying window say

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window instead of e say e e and he goes

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no this is stupid so he wanted to change

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his accent and never got what he wanted

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because he ignored his feedback and

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didn't change his thoughts example

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number three a fan of mine told me

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people say he comes off a little fruy so

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we get on webcam and I go all right your

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sweatshirt is a little fruy and he goes

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what's wrong with being comfortable and

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I say okay your haircut is not working

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for you and he goes I've seen popular

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guys with this haircut and I go all

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right dude your mustache is

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stereotypically fruy and he goes it's

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just the lighting you would it would

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look different if you were in the room

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with me so keep the problem then what do

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you want from me one last example I'm

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talking to a girl at a party she says

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men are being too forward with me on

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Tinder so I look at her profile and it's

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all bikini pictures and I go well

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there's your problem you're half naked

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in front of thousands of men and she

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goes excuse me I'm allowed to be proud

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of my body and yeah you are allowed to

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do this but this is what you get if you

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do it and you don't have the power to

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change that that's not how the world

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works so in all of these examples these

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people wanted something and they were

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shown what they needed to change in

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order to get it and they resisted making

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those changes so they kept their

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behaviors the same and did them in front

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of the same people in the same ways and

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got the same results this map is here to

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remind you how not to do that so I

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already gave you zones and I added a

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checklist your job is to think about

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each one of these things using this map

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you should think about all seven

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sections throughout your day so whether

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you are or are not getting what you want

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you should become conscious of why that

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is and then do it either more or less

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and if you have a problem with that then

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figure out what it is about yourself

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that needs to change that process is how

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I did all of these things especially

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this one when I'm creating content I'm

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thinking about what do I want that

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content to do and who am I showing it to

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I've tried a lot of different things and

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each one gives me different feedback so

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I look at it all carefully and then I

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change and grow the same process applies

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for every part of your life you are

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basically designing yourself you can

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download the map for free or buy the

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packet think of it as a miniature

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personal coaching session it's a system

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of self-reflection that you can apply to

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all of these categories basically what

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am I doing that fills these boxes for

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the person I'm looking for I also made a

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list list of what I think those areas

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are for the average person in the future

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I might make videos for each specific

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area so let's go through the list I'm

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going to start with men obviously I've

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said before that just be nice and just

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be yourself is the worst advice that

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Modern Men get it leads to a lot of

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wasted time most of you need to start

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with body and masculinity first that's

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why they're first on the list the most

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important aspect of Attraction is

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physical that's basically everything

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about your body now there are some

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things that you cannot change like your

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height or your facial symmetry at least

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not without surgery which I don't

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recommend so you're going to be focusing

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on being in shape dressing well the way

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that you act and taking care of yourself

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I don't have any before pictures of

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myself but it was kind of like this guy

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and this is pretty much the best I ever

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looked this is a few years ago that

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moved me from this area to this area

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from here to here with most women life

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changed I think most men underestimate

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how much women like good bodies it's

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probably more than us so I was always

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pursuing women the same group of women

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with varying degrees of success until

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one day I changed my mind about how I

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should live my life changed my diet and

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exercise routine and my appearance and

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all of a sudden the same old behaviors

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started to have very different results

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for the same group of women that was my

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feedback that this was the big change

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that made everything different so that's

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what this checklist is it's my notes on

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what you probably need to improve first

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keep that in mind as I go through them

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one by one so like I said Fitness is

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super important and if you are ignoring

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it stop ignoring it I might go into all

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these things in detail in later videos

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but for now this is just a brief

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overview most men should be building

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muscle losing fat and like if you can

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pick up your girlfriend and carry her

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upstairs they love things like that next

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we have fashion if you dress like this

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guy yeah you might be comfortable but

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how are other people going to feel about

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you start thinking about it that way

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appropriate means look the best you can

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for what you're doing I have two winter

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coats this one is for shoveling snow

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this one is for talking to girls put

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together means everything goes together

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some of you are dressing like this see

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how nothing matches or is in order

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here's what that looks like these things

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are also not very nice there's nothing

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wrong with this shirt but it's hanging

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off of him that looks sloppy you don't

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have to dress like this every day but

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usually there's no reason not to other

play10:15

than laziness this could be a solid

play10:17

t-shirt if you want what's important is

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that the colors go together and it fits

play10:21

his body expressive means adding a touch

play10:23

of your own personality again this guy

play10:25

has some of that here and here I used to

play10:27

wear things like this I got compliments

play10:28

on it figure out what works for you

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here's how not to be expressive it

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reminds me of like an old

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friend this guy is fit enough his shirt

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fits he's standing up straight he's

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medium attractive he has a decent

play10:41

haircut but he insisted on wearing a

play10:43

dork shirt and autism glasses and it

play10:45

ruined his

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chances a lot of guys don't like this

play10:49

advice they say I want her to like me

play10:51

for me but remember if you show people

play10:54

this you get this what are you showing

play10:57

people what do the people people think

play10:59

and feel about it how do they react how

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do you like it and what can you change

play11:04

mannerisms you need to stand up straight

play11:06

talk like a man and stop doing things

play11:08

that are gross or annoying some of you

play11:09

are walking around punched over like

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this with your autism glasses on and

play11:13

it's not very becoming I had one client

play11:16

who was very tall and very smart but he

play11:18

was too excitable in the whole session

play11:21

everything he was saying he was talking

play11:22

like this really fast and oh my God and

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girls don't like that that's a

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reasonable ick he's too affected by his

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own thoughts and ideas this guy again he

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kind of talked like this like he went up

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at the end of his sentences and I

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pointed that out to him and he did fix

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it and he said it worked right away one

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thing I did was I actually used a camera

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to look at myself and I looked too much

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like this so I fixed my posture grooming

play11:45

definitely needs its own video I broke

play11:46

that down into hygiene and haircut your

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haircut and your facial hair need to fit

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your face one mistake a lot of people

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make is they go I want to look like that

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guy and it's never going to happen and

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if you don't know how your look is

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working for you there's only one way to

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find out I just asked women I was

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attracted to I said what should I do

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with my hair and they told me and I did

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it and they liked it that feedback is

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critically important for this process of

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change I don't know how to talk about

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hygiene but I know I have to I spoke

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with another dating coach recently and

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he said he's basically at the point

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where he asks his clients do you wash

play12:18

your butt because some of them don't so

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I don't know what's going on out there

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this is basically my reaction to that so

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I want to introduce the concept of

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perfect hygiene and I want you to use

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women as a role model women are

play12:29

meticulous they shower they tweeze they

play12:31

blow dry they moisturize they shave they

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scrape skin off and they apply makeup

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and they do it every day you should be

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perfect you should leave nothing like

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women this is the least you should be

play12:41

doing every time you go out take a

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shower a thorough shower uh comb your

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hair brush your teeth put on fresh

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clothes don't reuse them wear deodorant

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and bring gum with you I have

play12:51

recommendations on my link tree if

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you're not doing that then you probably

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smell and that might be why some people

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don't like you imagine if women stank so

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that's body if you can get in shape

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dress like an adult stand up straight

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and speak confidently don't run away

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with your thoughts and be fresh all the

play13:07

time then that's going to solve a lot of

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your problems being funny isn't going to

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matter if you're fat and you smell okay

play13:13

now masculinity competence and

play13:15

confidence once you look and smell good

play13:18

then you have to act like a man I broke

play13:20

these down in the checklist power is an

play13:23

aphrodesiac that's a quote by Henry

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Kissinger and he ought to know power is

play13:27

your ability to make things happen or to

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stop things from happening it's not

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enough to just have ideas you have to be

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able to make them real one of the ways

play13:36

we do that is with money and I mean God

play13:38

help you there one of the main reasons I

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make content is to show how things have

play13:42

changed and men can't really get power

play13:44

through money anymore which causes women

play13:46

to reject them more if something is

play13:48

happening to an entire population at

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once it's probably not your fault I'm

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just encouraging you not to think that

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money doesn't matter it does and it

play13:55

always will I also put the word control

play13:57

on here because power is about making

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things go your way read the 48 Laws of

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Power I made these note cards for myself

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I might sell them one day as I put those

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principles to work and change the way I

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think about myself and about how people

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work I started taking different actions

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and the people around me started giving

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me what I want it was pretty cool status

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respect importance and dominance they're

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all parts of hierarchy and we're never

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getting rid of this women don't want to

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be with this guy if you can't get to the

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top of a group that you're in fine find

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a group that you can get to the top of

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women might say everyone should be equal

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but it's just a strategy they are still

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going to rank you as a man watch who is

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a 10 again when you have status you will

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make weak people feel insecure you will

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have powerful friends it's not enough to

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be a lone wolf or a nice guy that's not

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going to get you anything finally skills

play14:50

they can be practical or not what's

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important is that you are good at

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something that she values women like

play14:56

this more than this so they like him

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more than him sometimes I tell guys to

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stop playing video games for this reason

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and they say there are some girls that

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like video games but that's bad math you

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can't just say someone out there will

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like whatever I become if this is how

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much men and women like video games or

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Rubik's Cubes or whatever and you spend

play15:14

all your time getting really good at

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them you're appealing to this for

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confidence I put frame in presence frame

play15:20

is deciding what's going to happen

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sticking to it and letting her know that

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you've got it handled but it also has to

play15:26

bring her something that she wants which

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she might not tell you this is an

play15:30

example of letting her set the frame and

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then you follow it and she doesn't like

play15:33

it in other words you can't just boss

play15:35

her around you've got to be able to make

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her life better without always asking

play15:39

her how presence is how much you come

play15:41

through in your interactions these

play15:43

examples from earlier are bad presents

play15:45

this guy doesn't feel great about being

play15:47

seen and this guy is running off in his

play15:49

own world this guy made a lot of

play15:51

decisions about who he wants to be but

play15:53

they weren't giving women confidence in

play15:54

him here's the high status guy from who

play15:57

is a 10 again he's saying I'm awesome I

play15:59

can make things happen if you be around

play16:01

me good things will happen to you he's

play16:03

not just saying I like to relax so

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masculinity is about being able to

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create what you want prevent what you

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don't want and then show off that you

play16:12

are the make things happen guy and

play16:14

that's the entire bad boy axis look good

play16:16

and make good things

play16:18

happen once you become popular you're

play16:21

going to have to start treating women

play16:22

well to keep them around that's going to

play16:24

mean investing value looking good and

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making her look good reserving your

play16:28

invest M for her and tailoring your life

play16:30

to her needs the bonus Galaxy is

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basically a million little things that

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you have but not necessarily that you

play16:37

are investment is everything you give

play16:39

her time is the time that you spend with

play16:42

her but it also means the time and money

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that you're putting on the table that's

play16:47

why women like expensive wedding rings

play16:48

it proves that you put in a lot of your

play16:50

time I gave somebody a handmade

play16:53

Valentine's card and she liked it more

play16:55

than any of the things I spent money on

play16:56

attention is praise noticing approving

play16:59

and appreciating that means making her

play17:00

feel like a star that's why social media

play17:03

is so bad it makes the attention we give

play17:05

them less powerful whatever she does for

play17:08

you let her know you like it nice

play17:10

haircut thanks for dinner I love the way

play17:13

you blah blah blah whatever she likes

play17:14

about herself I don't think I need to go

play17:16

into money the more you have the more

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they stick around energy is how much you

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are pushing the relationship forward

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towards when can I see you again and

play17:24

happy end and not towards you up you

play17:26

can't be always busy and still have a

play17:28

relationship if you wanted to you would

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even if you give her all of that you

play17:32

still have to be personally close

play17:34

emotional closeness doesn't mean crying

play17:37

and being weak it means telling her the

play17:39

deeper things about you like how you

play17:40

feel about art or a movie that you're

play17:42

watching together or it could be

play17:44

something simple like I love watching

play17:46

this bird with you this connection has

play17:48

to be there presentability is your

play17:50

reputation and how good you make her

play17:52

look it's kind of like the good guy

play17:54

version of status it's not how much

play17:56

power you have it's how likable you are

play17:58

so status is how much people need you

play18:01

for power or favors or something and

play18:03

presentability is how much people think

play18:05

you're a great guy I used to run

play18:07

important events in a city and people

play18:09

would come to me and they would say can

play18:11

you do me a favor I was a guy to know

play18:13

that status I also used to give people

play18:16

free rides around town cuz I had a car

play18:18

and it was easy and people would say

play18:20

he's such a nice guy it's a different

play18:22

kind of being a guy to know it's good to

play18:24

have both of these if you can but it is

play18:27

better to be fear than loved if you

play18:29

cannot be both so I guess makavelli

play18:31

agrees with me that bad boy stuff

play18:33

matters more your life should look like

play18:35

this loyalty is pretty simple loyalty is

play18:37

how much she believes that you're saving

play18:39

all your investment for her I put dating

play18:42

patterns and closure in here because you

play18:44

can't be hanging on to old relationships

play18:46

I drew these girls from your past all

play18:48

separated while the the guys on the

play18:51

Purity box are in a huddle and then for

play18:53

present I put Focus because she's not

play18:55

going to want to watch you give your

play18:56

investment to other girls all the

play18:58

necessary words are in the Box I put a

play19:00

lot of things for the Galaxy because

play19:02

it's a Galaxy the reason it's a bonus is

play19:04

because it's not things that you are

play19:07

it's things you have access to or things

play19:09

that happen to you like where you grew

play19:11

up or if you have an apartment in the

play19:13

perfect spot of town for women this can

play19:15

matter quite a lot and again it'll be

play19:17

all about things she likes so if you're

play19:19

a man there's a lot you can do to self-

play19:21

maximize you can look better you can

play19:23

make things happen remember this guy was

play19:26

popular because he had this and then

play19:28

once you have stuff you share your stuff

play19:31

it's simple when you think of it that

play19:32

way look good make good things happen

play19:35

and share them for women unfortunately

play19:37

self- maximizing is a lot harder because

play19:39

there just isn't as much you can do

play19:42

basically none of this stuff gives you

play19:44

any points which is why feminism is

play19:46

stupid you go hey look at all the stuff

play19:48

I did and we go okay what do you need me

play19:50

for and you go nothing and we go okay

play19:52

and you go where have all the good men

play19:53

gone so even though men do prefer women

play19:56

who are helpful and financially

play19:58

supportive and reliable you just can't

play20:00

make up for these other things with it

play20:02

the same way that we can again for women

play20:04

looks are the most important and I'm not

play20:06

going to go into detail on female looks

play20:08

maxing I'm just going to remind you that

play20:10

your looks put a hard limit on which

play20:12

category we put you in men usually know

play20:15

right away we go this girl could be here

play20:17

from me this girl would never make it

play20:19

past here we know just from looking so a

play20:21

big thing women need to understand is

play20:23

men can make up for looks with effort

play20:26

women usually cannot it's hard to move

play20:29

up easy to move down every guy will

play20:32

value these things differently for

play20:34

example I would rather be with a

play20:35

physical five and a personality 10 than

play20:37

the other way around but we just don't

play20:39

work the same way as women if I think

play20:41

you're a four for example you are never

play20:44

getting past here ever no matter what

play20:46

you do so trying to earn your way into

play20:49

higher value like a man is not going to

play20:51

work very well so if you don't want to

play20:52

end up in these lower boxes your best

play20:55

strategy is to start with the men who

play20:57

like you and then get rid of the ones

play21:00

you don't like rather than starting with

play21:03

the men you like and then getting rid of

play21:05

the ones who will never put in effort

play21:07

that strategy is making women spend

play21:09

years and years stuck in here with no

play21:11

chance to ever leave I put modesty

play21:14

underbody for women cuz usually don't

play21:16

have issues with fashion except when

play21:18

your idea of fashion is being half naked

play21:20

in front of a thousand drunken strangers

play21:22

so the same way that loyalty is how much

play21:24

he reserves his investment for you

play21:26

Purity would be how much you reserve

play21:28

your body for him I'll get into Purity

play21:30

later so even though your body is the

play21:32

most important part of Attraction your

play21:34

personality is the most important part

play21:35

of forming a relationship let's start

play21:38

with interesting here's what that

play21:39

doesn't look like she was asked what she

play21:41

brings to the table this is what I bring

play21:43

so

play21:44

bronzer

play21:46

powder my

play21:48

card lip

play21:50

balm hair brush so she's basically

play21:53

saying just this most women cannot get

play21:55

away with that not every woman will need

play21:57

to be financially supportive but you got

play21:59

to look pretty damn good if you don't

play22:01

have any of these earlier I told men to

play22:03

develop skills that women like and you

play22:05

don't need skills necessarily but you

play22:07

should be able to talk about things he

play22:09

likes I met one woman in my life who

play22:11

could talk about this book and I'll

play22:12

never forget her I put positive here it

play22:14

seems like a lot of modern women think

play22:16

it's admirable to be difficult here's

play22:18

what that looks like women aren't in

play22:20

their feminine energy anymore yeah cuz

play22:23

you don't make enough to provide for us

play22:25

anymore so we have to get out there in

play22:26

the workforce and be m masculine that

play22:28

means if I'm doing this I'm not doing

play22:31

any of these that's a losing strategy we

play22:34

live in difficult times not very many of

play22:36

you are going to find a provider we

play22:38

basically have this many women chasing

play22:41

after this many men your odds are not

play22:44

good so if you find someone on your

play22:47

level who needs you to contribute

play22:49

treating him like he doesn't deserve

play22:50

these things is just self-sabotage that

play22:52

brings me too supportive most households

play22:55

are dual income now grow up and deal

play22:57

with it most women want a man who earns

play22:59

more but then they also want to be paid

play23:01

equally and the math just doesn't work

play23:03

as we went over this woman blocked me

play23:05

because of my response to her video but

play23:07

in it she said she wants emotional

play23:09

support from a man but does not want to

play23:11

be his therapist what the hell does that

play23:13

mean modern women seem to believe that

play23:15

it is strong to withhold these things

play23:17

when they are actually what we're

play23:18

looking for finally I put Sayan I cannot

play23:20

tell you how many women I've met who

play23:22

took out their emotional damage on me

play23:24

from their past relationships and

play23:26

wouldn't admit that's what they were

play23:27

doing I once had a therapist who told me

play23:29

that women past a certain age were the

play23:31

least likely to change because they

play23:32

wouldn't take accountability it was a

play23:34

big learning moment for me don't ignore

play23:36

these things just use the map to

play23:38

self-reflect finally Purity the things

play23:41

on this list are some of the ways that

play23:43

we measure How likely it is that

play23:45

something like this will happen pretty

play23:47

important that it doesn't wifey material

play23:49

doesn't Define what you're wearing this

play23:50

is a powerful delusion nobody wants his

play23:53

wife looking like this and it's not

play23:55

moving you towards the wife zone so so

play23:58

I've given you a map of what people are

play23:59

looking for a map to your desires your

play24:02

ego and your decisions and a structure

play24:04

for how to begin changing them I can't

play24:06

wait to see my

play24:08

feedback

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