Why you feel what you feel | Alan Watkins | TEDxOxford

Summary

In this TED Talk, the speaker explores the importance of understanding and controlling one's emotions for a fulfilling life. He discusses the stages of self-awareness from infancy to adulthood and how most people get stuck in a 'concrete' mindset, following societal rules without questioning. The speaker introduces an app to help individuals identify and navigate their emotional state, emphasizing the need to move from being a victim to taking ownership of one's emotions. He encourages the audience to recognize their current emotional 'planet' and strive to inhabit the emotional state that serves them best for improved health, performance, and happiness.

Takeaways

• 🧠 The speaker emphasizes the importance of understanding human beings, drawing from his experiences as a physician, researcher, and neuroscientist.
• 👶 He discusses the stages of self-awareness in children, from physical awareness to emotional and conceptual selves.
• 🧠 The concept of 'concrete consciousness' is introduced, where individuals follow societal rules without questioning them.
• 🔄 The speaker highlights the commonality of people getting stuck at a developmental stage akin to nine-year-olds, leading to stereotypical adult behaviors.
• 🤔 He poses the question of what one thing you could teach to make a significant impact, hinting at the importance of emotional understanding.
• 🌌 The speaker introduces an app designed to help individuals navigate their emotional state by identifying and understanding their emotions.
• 🌐 He explains that emotions are energy in motion, and feelings are the awareness of that energy, encouraging individuals to take ownership of their emotional experiences.
• 🚀 The concept of 'Mastery' is discussed, which is about objectifying emotions to gain control over them and improve one's life.
• 🌟 The speaker envisions a world where individuals have the ability to control their emotions, leading to improved health, performance, and decision-making.
• 💪 He concludes by encouraging the audience to reflect on their current emotional state and to strive for the emotional state they desire.

Q & A

What is the main idea the speaker wants to convey about human development?

The speaker emphasizes the importance of understanding and controlling one's emotions as a key to personal development and well-being. He discusses the stages of self-awareness from physical to emotional to conceptual selves, highlighting how most people get stuck at a certain level of emotional development, which affects their life experiences.

How does the speaker describe the transition from physical to emotional self-awareness in children?

The speaker illustrates this transition by describing a child's realization of their separate existence at around one year old, followed by the emergence of emotional self-awareness, which is often seen in the 'terrible twos' when children begin to express egocentricity and intensity due to their newfound understanding of their own emotions.

What is the 'conceptual self' and when does it typically emerge in a child's development?

The 'conceptual self' is a stage where children, between the ages of three to six, start to develop a sense of identity and become aware that they are physically and emotionally separate from others. This stage is marked by significant language acquisition and the beginning of understanding rules that govern concepts.

Why does the speaker suggest that many people remain emotionally stagnant at around nine years old?

The speaker suggests that many people remain emotionally stagnant at around nine years old because they get stuck in the 'concrete consciousness' stage where they follow a set of rules without questioning them, leading to stereotypical behaviors and a lack of emotional growth.

What does the speaker mean by 'the disease of meaning'?

The 'disease of meaning' refers to a midlife crisis where individuals question the rules they have been following and realize that these rules have not led to the happiness and fulfillment they expected. This realization can cause significant emotional pain and a sense of emptiness.

How does the speaker propose to deal with the existential question of life's meaning?

The speaker proposes that instead of using anesthetics or distractions to avoid the question of life's meaning, individuals should look inward and gain control over their emotions. By understanding and navigating one's emotional state, one can move towards a more fulfilling and controlled life experience.

What is the significance of the app mentioned in the script?

The app is designed to help individuals navigate their emotional states by mapping out various emotions and allowing users to track their current emotional 'planet' or state. It serves as a tool for self-awareness and emotional control, enabling users to move towards more constructive emotional states.

Why is it important to understand the difference between 'emotions' and 'feelings' according to the speaker?

According to the speaker, understanding the difference between 'emotions' and 'feelings' is crucial because emotions are the biological signals or energy in motion, while feelings are the awareness of that energy in the mind. Recognizing this distinction allows individuals to take ownership of their emotional responses rather than attributing them to external factors.

What is the key takeaway from the speaker's discussion on emotional control?

The key takeaway is that emotional control is essential for health, well-being, and success. By understanding and managing one's emotions, individuals can make more effective decisions, enhance motivation, and improve overall life experiences, rather than being at the mercy of uncontrolled emotional responses.

How does the speaker envision a world where people have control over their emotions?

The speaker envisions a world where individuals can navigate their emotional states with ease, choosing to be on the 'planet' or emotional state they desire. This would lead to a reduction in fear, anxiety, and other negative emotions in various life situations, such as social interactions, exams, job interviews, and even in cases of bullying.