The gift and power of emotional courage | Susan David

Summary

In this powerful talk, the speaker from South Africa explores the concept of 'sawubona' and its deeper meaning of acknowledging one's existence. She delves into the importance of emotional agility over rigid emotional responses, sharing her personal journey of grief and how writing authentically about her feelings revolutionized her approach to life. The speaker challenges the tyranny of positivity, advocating for the acceptance and understanding of all emotions as a path to resilience and a meaningful life.

Takeaways

• 🌟 'Sawubona', a Zulu greeting, embodies the powerful message of acknowledging one's existence and presence.
• 🧘 The speaker emphasizes the importance of emotional agility over rigid views of emotions as merely 'good' or 'bad' for resilience and thriving.
• 🏠 Growing up in apartheid South Africa, the speaker's personal experiences with denial and grief shaped her understanding of emotional agility.
• 📚 An eighth-grade English teacher's advice to 'write what you're feeling' catalyzed a transformative journey towards emotional authenticity.
• 🌱 Emotional agility involves moving beyond denial and embracing a full spectrum of emotions as a means of personal growth.
• 🌍 The World Health Organization states that depression is the leading cause of disability globally, highlighting the urgency of addressing emotional health.
• 🔒 The speaker criticizes the 'tyranny of positivity', where normal emotions are judged and suppressed, leading to emotional amplification and control.
• 💬 Accurate labeling of emotions is crucial for understanding their causes and taking appropriate action, as emotions are data, not directives.
• 📈 Emotional agility in the workplace is linked to individualized consideration, fostering engagement, creativity, and innovation.
• 👪 The speaker advocates for a culture that values emotional diversity, including the acceptance of difficult emotions, as a foundation for resilience.
• 🚀 Embracing emotional agility means being curious and compassionate about one's emotions, taking courageous, values-aligned steps in response.

Q & A

What is the meaning of 'sawubona' in Zulu culture?

In Zulu culture, 'sawubona' means 'hello' and carries a deeper meaning of acknowledging someone's presence by saying 'I see you, and by seeing you, I bring you into being.'

Why is the conventional view of emotions as good or bad considered rigid and problematic?

The conventional view is rigid because it doesn't allow for the complexity and fluidity of emotions, which can be harmful in a complex world. This rigidity can lead to a lack of emotional agility, which is essential for true resilience and thriving.

What personal experience from the speaker's life highlighted the destructive power of denial?

The speaker's experience with her father's death and her subsequent denial and struggle with grief highlighted the destructive power of denial, both on a personal and societal level.

How did the speaker's eighth-grade English teacher help her deal with her grief?

The teacher encouraged the speaker to write down her feelings in a blank notebook, inviting her to authentically express her grief and pain, which was a revolutionary act for her emotional well-being.

What is the term used by the speaker to describe the ability to navigate emotions beyond rigidity?

The speaker uses the term 'emotional agility' to describe the ability to navigate emotions with flexibility and authenticity.

What is the World Health Organization's current stance on depression as a global health issue?

According to the speaker, the World Health Organization states that depression is now the leading cause of disability globally, surpassing cancer and heart disease.

Why is the tendency to lock down into rigid responses to emotions problematic in the face of change?

Rigid responses to emotions, such as brooding, bottling, or false positivity, prevent individuals from adapting to change and dealing with the world as it is, rather than as they wish it to be.

What is the term used to describe the amplification of emotions when they are ignored or suppressed?

Psychologists refer to this phenomenon as 'amplification,' where ignored or suppressed emotions become stronger and more controlling.

How does the speaker define 'emotional agility' in terms of dealing with emotions?

Emotional agility is defined as the ability to be with your emotions with curiosity, compassion, and the courage to take values-connected steps, rather than being controlled by them.

What is the importance of accurately labeling emotions according to the speaker's research?

Accurately labeling emotions is important because it helps discern the precise cause of feelings, activates the brain's readiness potential, and allows for taking concrete and values-aligned actions.

How does the speaker suggest we should approach strong, tough emotions in practice?

The speaker suggests that instead of avoiding strong emotions, we should learn their contours, write them down, and notice them without identifying with them, using phrases like 'I'm noticing that I'm feeling...'.