Why You Feel What You Feel _ Dr. Alan Watkins (TEDxOxford)

Quantum Leap Coaching
25 May 201820:18

Summary

TLDRIn this TED Talk, the speaker explores the importance of understanding and navigating our emotional landscape for personal growth and success. Drawing from his background in medicine and neuroscience, he discusses the stages of self-awareness from infancy to adulthood, highlighting the common stagnation at the 'concrete consciousness' level. He introduces an app designed to help individuals identify and control their emotions, advocating for emotional mastery to improve health, performance, and decision-making. The talk concludes with a call to action for individuals to take charge of their emotional states and transform their lives.

Takeaways

  • 🧠 The speaker is a physician and neuroscientist who has studied human beings extensively, including their physical, emotional, and social aspects.
  • πŸ‘Ά Children develop self-awareness in stages, starting from physical recognition to emotional and conceptual understanding.
  • 🧠 The 'conceptual self' emerges around the age of three to six, where children begin to understand their identity and the rules of their universe.
  • πŸ”„ Most people remain at the 'concrete consciousness' level, following societal rules without questioning, which can lead to a stereotypical life.
  • πŸŒͺ️ A midlife crisis can trigger the 'disease of meaning,' where individuals question the rules they've been following and their life's purpose.
  • 🚫 People often use anesthetics or distractions to avoid dealing with existential questions about the meaning of life.
  • 🧭 Understanding and controlling one's emotions is crucial for health, well-being, and success, yet many are unaware of their emotional state.
  • 🌍 An app is introduced to help individuals navigate the 'universe of emotions,' allowing them to identify and track their emotional state.
  • 🌐 The app provides a map of emotions, enabling users to locate their current emotional state and explore nearby emotional 'planets'.
  • πŸ’ͺ Mastery over emotions involves objectifying them to gain control, which can lead to a more positive and constructive emotional state.
  • 🌟 The speaker encourages everyone to reflect on their current emotional 'planet' and strive to be in the emotional state that serves them best.

Q & A

  • What is the main idea the speaker wants to convey in the TED Talk?

    -The main idea the speaker wants to convey is the importance of understanding and controlling one's emotions for a better life, as emotions predict health, performance, well-being, and decision-making abilities.

  • What does the speaker suggest is the first step towards emotional control?

    -The first step towards emotional control, as suggested by the speaker, is to recognize and understand one's current emotional state, often referred to as knowing 'what planet you're on' in the emotional universe.

  • How does the speaker describe the development of self-awareness in children?

    -The speaker describes the development of self-awareness in children through various stages: physical awareness around one year old, emotional self-awareness during the 'terrible twos', the emergence of the conceptual self between three to six years old, and concrete consciousness between six to nine years old where children start learning the rules that govern concepts.

  • What is the 'disease of meaning' mentioned in the script?

    -The 'disease of meaning' is a state of existential crisis where individuals realize that following societal rules and achieving conventional success has not led to the expected happiness and fulfillment, leading to feelings of emptiness and unrest.

  • Why does the speaker emphasize the importance of language in the development of the conceptual self?

    -The speaker emphasizes the importance of language because it is a tool for labeling and understanding the world, which is a critical part of the development of the conceptual self in children between the ages of three to six.

  • What is the role of emotions according to the speaker?

    -According to the speaker, emotions play a significant role in driving health, performance, well-being, fulfillment, and decision-making. They are the underlying force that determines many aspects of an individual's life.

  • What is the significance of the app mentioned in the script?

    -The app mentioned in the script is significant as it serves as a tool to help individuals navigate the 'universe of emotions' by identifying and tracking their emotional states, aiding in self-awareness and emotional control.

  • Why does the speaker argue that most people remain stuck at the 'concrete consciousness' stage?

    -The speaker argues that most people remain stuck at the 'concrete consciousness' stage because they follow societal rules and norms without questioning them, leading to a stereotypical life and a lack of deeper self-exploration or emotional growth.

  • What are the two strategies the speaker mentions to deal with the 'disease of meaning'?

    -The two strategies mentioned by the speaker to deal with the 'disease of meaning' are anesthetics, which involve blotting out the existential question through substances or activities, and distraction, which includes engaging in activities that temporarily take the mind off the question of life's meaning.

  • How does the speaker define 'mastery' in the context of emotions?

    -In the context of emotions, 'mastery' is defined by the speaker as the ability to objectify and control one's emotions, moving from being subject to them to being able to navigate and choose one's emotional state deliberately.

Outlines

00:00

πŸ‘¨β€βš•οΈ Introduction to Human Study and Personal Experiences

The speaker begins by expressing his pleasure in delivering a TED talk, emphasizing his lifelong study of human beings. As the youngest of four siblings, he spent his childhood observing his brothers and sisters to understand human behavior. His journey continued with medical training, which provided intimate exposure to human suffering and significant life events such as birth and death. The speaker's professional path led him from immunology to neuroscience, studying white blood cells and their role in fighting infections, to researching the social dynamics and networks within companies that determine their success or failure. He also worked with elite athletes, aiming to help them win gold medals. Throughout his experiences, he was troubled by one central question: if one could teach only one thing, what would it be?

05:00

πŸ§’ Stages of Self-Awareness in Human Development

The speaker delves into the stages of human development, focusing on the emergence of self-awareness. He describes how children around the age of one develop a physical awareness of their existence, recognizing themselves in a mirror. The 'terrible twos' are explained as a result of children not yet understanding the separation between their emotions and those of others. By the age of three to six, children begin to form a conceptual self, realizing they have an identity and start to use language to label their universe. The speaker notes that most people remain at this stage of 'concrete consciousness,' following rules without questioning them, which can lead to a stereotypical life and a lack of self-awareness.

10:01

πŸ”„ The Struggle for Identity and the Disease of Meaning

The speaker discusses the struggle for identity, particularly during teenage years, where the desire to break free from the 'concrete self' and societal rules often leads to conflict. He explains that many people revert to following rules set by society, leading to a life that lacks depth and can result in the 'disease of meaning,' a crisis where individuals realize that adhering to societal rules hasn't brought the expected happiness. To cope, people may use anesthetics like alcohol or distractions such as work or materialism to avoid confronting the existential question of life's purpose. The speaker emphasizes that true resolution comes from within, not through external solutions.

15:01

🌍 Navigating the Universe of Emotions

The speaker introduces an app designed to help individuals navigate the vast universe of emotions, which he suggests number around 34,000. The app maps emotions on a grid, with axes representing energy levels (high to low) and positivity (left to right). It allows users to identify their current emotional state and provides a means to track and audit their emotional journey. The speaker encourages expanding one's emotional repertoire and mastering emotions to improve overall well-being, performance, and decision-making. He envisions a world where people have control over their emotions, leading to a life of fulfillment and success.

20:03

πŸš€ Transforming Life Through Emotional Mastery

In the concluding paragraph, the speaker calls for a transformation in how we approach our emotional lives. He envisions a world where individuals are not at the mercy of their emotions but can choose their emotional state, leading to a life of choice and fulfillment. The speaker encourages the audience to reflect on their current emotional state and to take proactive steps towards the emotional state they desire, emphasizing that this control can lead to significant improvements in all aspects of life.

Mindmap

Keywords

πŸ’‘Emotional Self

The 'Emotional Self' refers to an individual's awareness and understanding of their own emotions. In the video, the speaker discusses how children begin to develop this awareness around the age of two, realizing that their emotions are separate from those of their caregivers. This concept is integral to the video's theme, as it sets the stage for understanding how emotional self-awareness evolves and impacts a person's life.

πŸ’‘Conceptual Self

The 'Conceptual Self' is the stage of self-awareness where a child starts to form an identity and understands that they are separate not only physically and emotionally but also conceptually. This typically occurs between the ages of three to six, as children begin to use language and understand the world through concepts. The video emphasizes the importance of this stage as it lays the foundation for a person's sense of identity and consciousness.

πŸ’‘Concrete Consciousness

Concrete consciousness is the phase where individuals learn and adhere to the rules that govern concepts. This phase typically occurs between the ages of six to nine, as children start to understand why things are classified the way they are. The video uses this concept to illustrate how most people become entrenched in following rules and societal norms, which can limit their emotional growth and fulfillment.

πŸ’‘Disease of Meaning

The 'Disease of Meaning' is a term used in the video to describe the existential crisis that can occur when individuals realize that adhering to societal rules and norms has not brought them the happiness and fulfillment they expected. This crisis often leads to a search for deeper meaning and can be a catalyst for personal transformation, as it prompts individuals to question the rules that govern their lives.

πŸ’‘Emotional Repertoire

An 'Emotional Repertoire' refers to the range of emotions that an individual can experience and express. The video encourages expanding one's emotional repertoire beyond the basic emotions to navigate and control one's emotional state more effectively. This is crucial for personal growth and the ability to respond to life's challenges with a wider array of emotional responses.

πŸ’‘Objectification of Emotions

In the video, 'Objectification of Emotions' is the process of taking an emotion that one is subjectively experiencing and making it an object of observation. This allows individuals to gain control over their emotions rather than being controlled by them. The speaker uses this concept to explain how to move from being a victim of one's emotions to being in control.

πŸ’‘Victimization

The concept of 'Victimization' in the video refers to the state where individuals believe that their emotions are caused by external factors or other people. The speaker argues against this mindset, emphasizing that recognizing one's own role in creating emotions is essential for personal empowerment and growth.

πŸ’‘Emotional Navigation

Emotional navigation is the ability to understand and control one's emotional state, moving towards more constructive emotions. The video introduces an app designed to help individuals navigate their emotional state by identifying where they are in the 'universe of emotions' and how to move towards desired emotional states.

πŸ’‘Mastery

In the context of the video, 'Mastery' refers to the skill of taking control of one's emotions, particularly the ability to objectify and manage them effectively. It is presented as a crucial maneuver for emotional well-being, allowing individuals to stay in positive emotional states and avoid being dominated by negative ones.

πŸ’‘Planets of Emotions

The 'Planets of Emotions' is a metaphor used in the video to represent different emotional states that individuals can experience. The speaker uses this concept to encourage individuals to be aware of their current emotional state (which planet they are on) and to navigate towards the emotional states that serve them best.

Highlights

The speaker emphasizes the profound impact of understanding emotions on personal and professional success.

A journey through the stages of human consciousness from physical awareness to emotional and conceptual selves.

The importance of language in the development of the conceptual self and its role in navigating the world.

The 'terrible twos' as a manifestation of a child's emerging emotional self.

The concept of 'concrete consciousness' and its influence on how adults perceive and follow societal rules.

The speaker discusses the common regression to 'concrete' thinking in adults, leading to stereotypical behaviors.

The 'disease of meaning' as a midlife crisis that challenges the fulfillment of following societal rules.

Strategies to cope with the existential question of life's meaning, including anesthetics and distractions.

The speaker argues that true fulfillment comes from understanding and controlling one's emotions, not external solutions.

Emotions are described as energy in motion, and the importance of recognizing them as internal experiences.

The concept of moving from a victim position to ownership by understanding that one's emotions are self-generated.

An introduction to an app designed to help individuals navigate the vast universe of emotions.

The app allows users to track their emotional state and provides a tool for emotional mastery.

The speaker encourages expanding one's emotional repertoire to access a wider range of emotional experiences.

The potential for emotional control to transform individual lives and societal interactions.

A call to action for individuals to question their current emotional state and strive for the emotional state they desire.

The speaker concludes with a vision of a world where emotional mastery is the norm, leading to improved well-being and decision-making.

Transcripts

play00:01

[Music]

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so good afternoon it's a real pleasure

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to do another TED talk and today I'm

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going to talk to you about you and share

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with you hopefully an idea that's really

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made a massive difference in my life and

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hopefully could make a massive

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difference in your life too now I spent

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my life really studying human beings so

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when I was a kid I was the youngest of

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four so I spent a lot of time just

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watching my brothers and sisters and

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seeing the mess and the challenge that

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they got into and trying to clock how I

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avoided that and then I had the great

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fortune of training as a physician and

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some of you may know that medical

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training is the most incredible

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opportunity because you get up close and

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personal with human suffering on every

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single level on a daily basis and I've

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been in the room where people have died

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all right in front of me and it's a

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really profound moment I've also been in

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the room where life has come into the

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world I've delivered a number of

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children including three of my own four

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boys one of whom is at the back hi sir

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so medical training a fantastic

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experience I became a researcher

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initially an immunologist and studied

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right down to the nano detail of how our

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white blood cells roll along the inside

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of our blood vessels and with really

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clever adhesion molecules stick and kind

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of squeeze out between the endothelial

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cells and fight infection more recently

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as a neuroscientist so write down a nano

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level and also at a much bigger scale

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I've had the good fortune of working

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with CEOs and leaders around the world

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in some of our biggest companies and

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multinationals looking at the hidden

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social dynamics and the networks that

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exists that determine whether a company

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succeeds will fail as you heard I've

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worked with elite athletes helping them

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to win gold medals you know read a lot

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learnt a lot and through all that time

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one question kept bothering me eating

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away at my brain and that question was

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if you could teach yourself your

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children or anybody one thing what would

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it be what would that one thing be

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you're only allowed to teach one things

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of all the things I've learned and

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understood and it's not that I want to

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share with you today what is that one

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thing I can tell you it's not eat an

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apple that's not what is okay so we're

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going to talk about that but before I

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want to return just to really the story

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of you now I don't know whether you

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remember but there was a time before you

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knew you existed to some of you that was

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probably last Friday night after a

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skinful but as we all grow up there's a

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moment in our life and this is a really

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beautiful moment if you witness it where

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you can see about one year-old it might

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happen a bit sooner a bit later but

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roughly about one year old were a child

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realizes they exist as a physical entity

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it's that moment where they look in the

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mirror and they kind of go oh that's me

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and they move their hand and that hand

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moves and they realize that that's them

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so they have a physical awareness if you

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will but they haven't yet developed an

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awareness of their own emotional self

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which is why you get the terrible twos

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so when a two-year-old is hungry the

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world is hungry and why are we eating

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so there's that kind of intensity that

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egocentricity in a two-year-old and so

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that's why they kind of get pester power

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you know so in the supermarket it's mom

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dad dad meat meat dude fruit meat now

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meat food and they kind of bother you to

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a great extent and then it again it's

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witness of all this moment where they

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suddenly realize that not only they

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physically separate from you but their

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emotions are not your emotions and you

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may have witnessed this with a child

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walking down the aisle in the

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supermarket

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streaming red bawling in frustration and

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rage that they can't get what they want

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and then looking at you completely

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baffled like why are you crying we're

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hungry we want those chocolates and

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there's that sort of Battlement in their

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eyes that sort of thousand-yard stare

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and that's the emergence of the

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awareness of the emotional self separate

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from from the parent or the caregiver so

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that's the sort of second level of but

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it's not until they get to sort of three

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to six years old that they get in

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something called the conceptual self and

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part of that emergence for conceptual

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self is a sense of identity so it's what

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you would know as consciousness is they

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start to become aware not only that

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they're physically emotionally separate

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but they're that they've got an identity

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and it sort of blossoms between three

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and six years old and one of the things

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that happens in the emergence of the

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conceptual self is language so language

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is essentially a concept it's a noise to

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represent something so the emerges the

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conceptual self happens and we start to

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label our universe in a CatDog

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bat-ball window floor and so on and so

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the world starts to make sense and we

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start to be able to navigate and

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children between the age of 3 and 6 use

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about you learn about six new words

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every single day so there's this

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phenomenal language acquisition that

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goes on but it's not until they get to

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the fourth level which is called

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concrete consciousness that they start

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to learn the rules that govern the

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concepts so that's when it all starts to

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make sense why is a dog a dog and a cat

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a cat why is a mummy a mummy in a daddy

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or daddy what's the rule and it's in

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that between sort of six and nine years

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old that the fun starts to happen so if

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you speak to a seven-year-old you can

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start to have fun by playing against the

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rules you know look at that cat going

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woof woof

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no cats go meow they don't know woof

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woof all right and it makes them laugh

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because you're basically playing against

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the wall so there's this whole rule

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emergence that occurs in a child between

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six and nine and then that's where most

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people stay so most of the people you're

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gonna meet in your life twenty thirty

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forty on the inside nine see this in

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companies all the time

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toys out of the pram behaving like

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children it's very common now there is

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an attempt usually in the early teenage

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years to get beyond that concrete self

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to get beyond the rules which is why you

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get teenage conflict you know you'll see

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it and parents try to suppress this like

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it's a bad thing it's a developmental

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stage you shouldn't be suppressing this

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stuff they're testing the rules so

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there's this battle ensues you told me

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to be home at ten I want to be home at

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11 you told me to be honest you're not

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being on it and the whole kind of fight

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breaks out and they have the whole

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turbulent teenage years and now

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regardless of who wins that battle

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whether it's mom or dad or the child it

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sort of bubbles along for a few years

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now eventually regardless of who wins

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the battle they leave home hopefully

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[Applause]

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they'd go right so reverse but then a

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much bigger parent called society comes

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in and imposes its rules so a lot of

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people go back into the concrete and

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they're not in the transversal anywhere

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they're back in the concrete following a

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set of rules so we start to believe that

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we've got to get a degree we've got to

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get a job we've got to get a

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relationship we've got to get a car

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we've got to get a house

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we've got to get all these things to be

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a good corporate citizen so we start to

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follow the rules and we enter a company

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and we start to work our way up the

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career ladder following the rules and so

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a lot of people you'll encounter are

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back in that concrete their life becomes

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stereotypical and you'll see people talk

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about this no though that's not how we

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do things at this company you be the

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chief executive I'll be the chief

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financial officer that's how we do it

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round here it's a set of rules that

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we're all following and we're often not

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even aware of those rules and that will

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often happen for the rest of your life

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you don't even realize you're running

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the rules and by the way the rules that

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weren't given to you with your

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permission they were just imposed by

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parents or society we're not even aware

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of it if you're lucky you have a crisis

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at some point in your life something

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terrible happens to get you to question

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the rules I remember most people this

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never happens to or if it does it

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doesn't cause them to question so that

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might be the the loss of a loved one the

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loss of a relationship or something

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terrible happens usually most commonly

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in midlife and it you entered a stage

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what we call the disease of meaning is

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it starts to occur to you that there's

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something wrong with the picture of your

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life I've been following all these rules

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and it hasn't delivered I thought if I

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was a good corporate citizen and I got a

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good job in a good Harrison paid tax and

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all of that stuff I would be happy and

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blissful forever I'm not that's the

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disease of meaning and that is real pain

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if fans in a religious context people

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call it purgatory I mean literally is

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hell on earth so people get into this

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state and often they lash out and they

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become unpleasant and negative and so on

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because they're basically in pain now

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there are two strategies to that pain

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first strategy much loved by students

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anesthetic

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because if I can blot out the meaning of

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life that kind of existential question

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if I'm wasted on a Friday night I don't

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have to think about that question about

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what's the meaning of all this it just

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goes away as a question so then some

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people do this every night some people

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do it every weekend getting wasted

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either through alcohol and drugs but the

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problem is when the hangover wears off

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for question returns it's still there

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and you can't answer it so if you're

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smart you realize anesthetics won't help

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you so you get into the second strategy

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which is distraction there are lots of

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different types of distraction now that

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distraction can simply you become a gym

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bunny right let's pump some iron

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you know because well I'm feeling the

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burn I don't have to think about the

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question so I've become the body

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beautiful alright stop at the gym the

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whole time you know getting the kick on

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the endorphins and so on so but you

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realize that actually when you get away

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from the gym the questions there again

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so the gym doesn't solve it so you might

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use a very common strategy sex right

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because while I'm engaged in the

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intimacy of the sexual union I don't

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have to think about the question because

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I'm too busy doing this

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but you may have noticed that when they

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act is over that bloody question comes

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back again right so some people go even

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more nuts have sex with two people then

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a whole crowd desperately trying to get

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away from this question that's bothering

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them

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the meaning of their life so if sex

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doesn't work and it doesn't ultimately

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then you get into materialism shoes are

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going buy some shoes right or a car or a

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house or a yacht so we get into

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materialism or some people that we see

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very common in industry workaholism

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they've become work addicted because

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while I'm working that hard having to do

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stuff I don't have to think about the

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question now none of that solves the

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problem because we mistakenly believe

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that the problem is out there and the

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solution is out there whereas the real

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problem is in here you cannot solve your

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sense of emptiness or your unrest with

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an external solution outside of yourself

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so stop looking out there you have to

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look in here and particularly to look at

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your own emotional experience

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now most people go through their life

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completely unaware of emotions

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particulars fellows right somebody

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mentions the word emotions we run for

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the hills

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okay now emotions are just energy in

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motion they're composite biological

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signals the signal is made up of all the

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the pounding heart rate the sweaty palms

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the tension the muscles or whatever is

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going on biologically it's stereotypical

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energetic patterns energy in motion they

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are emotions now we all have emotions

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every single second of every single day

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even as fellows feelings however some

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something entirely different feelings

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are the awareness in our mind of the

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energy so the energy is always there

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that we don't necessarily feel it and

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that's where we're stuck is we haven't

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really learned to understand their own

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emotional life so we go through our life

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believing how we're feeling on a

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moment-by-moment basis it's down to

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somebody else so we'll actually say this

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you know you you annoyed me you made me

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unhappy you did it to me and we point

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the finger other people believing other

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people the cause our own unhappiness so

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newsflash nobody is doing it to you

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nobody's making you feel these things I

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mean what do you think that happens when

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you get frustrated with somebody else

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did they come up to you it and inject

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you with frustration with the chemicals

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of frustration did they create the

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electrical signals of frustration the

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pressure waves the sound waves and so no

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you did that you created that inside

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yourself in response to their poor

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behavior so if you can accept that

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you're doing it it's not them it's you

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now that simple truth takes you from

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what we call of a victim position and it

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crosses the threshold to ownership

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that's the most important transition

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you'll ever make in your life so to help

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you navigate that first and foremost you

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have to understand where am I in the

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universe of emotions now if I asked you

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to write down what emotion you're

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experiencing right now and gave you five

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minutes you'd write a list of things and

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then we said okay put your hands up

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who's got how many and we did a sort of

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test of how many you got the aboriginal

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room like this would be about ten or

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twelve there are thirty four thousand

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emotions that you can experience most

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people go through their life for ten or

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twelve and just to try and help you

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navigate just want to show you an app

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that we've built to help people know

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where they are in the universe of

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emotions so we've plotted all these

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emotions on a map and this map shows you

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the axes so to the top of the axis in

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the universe of emotions we've got the

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ones that are sort of more energy if you

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like and to the bottom the ones that are

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more relaxed and to the left the ones

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that are more positive and to the right

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the ones that are more negative so you

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can see that we've plotted maybe the

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twenty communist emotions there and

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right now as I'm talking to you right

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now you're somewhere on this grid you're

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somewhere in the universe experiencing

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one of these planets and we can bring in

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the next you know hundred emotions we

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can bring in the next 200 emotions the

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next thousand so we've built this app to

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try and crowdsource with you all 34,000

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so we've built it with just two thousand

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as a starter and you can enter into the

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one of the 64 galaxies that exists and

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start to navigate round and see where

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you are

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see you where you are in relation to

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some of the other emotions because if

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you don't know where you are you're lost

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now you'll never get control of your own

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state and it's really important not only

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for your health for your well-being for

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your success or whatever you're doing

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whether you're a sports person or

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business leader that you can start to

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control your own emotional state of

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what's going on for you now if you don't

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know where you are how can you possibly

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control any of this stuff and the answer

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is you can't so the star the journey is

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even knowing which planet are you on

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and this is designed to help you and you

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can see in the top corner there it shows

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you roughly where you are in the

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universe at any point in time now we can

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zoom in into one of these 64 galaxies

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and look at a specific solar system so

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we're going to go into maybe sociable we

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can see so let's zoom in to the solar

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system is sociable and start to see what

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planets are around you so if you want to

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move from sociable to someone else and

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then gradually navigate yourself to a

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different part of the universe you can

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see where you are now most importantly

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you can track where you are so you can

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enter some notes you visit the planet of

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I don't know popular you know I felt

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popular today you know people came up

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and gave me the various message and I

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felt popular and you could enter you

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know how popular you felt or you didn't

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feel and actually keep an audit trail

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and you can socialize this with your

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mates you can you know either share it

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on Facebook or tweet it or Gmail it and

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see well who's else is in the you know

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solar system of sociable or even on the

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planet popular who else is out there and

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I can track as it does with these audit

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trails of where I've been so this is

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your start point it's starting to get a

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grip if do you even know which planet

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you're on and which are the nearest

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planets and how you can start to move

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around start to get some navigational

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capability within that universe so

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that's the first thing is you've got to

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learn navigational potential missus

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designed to help you build your

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emotional repertoire so you're not just

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stuck with 12 emotions or and some

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people frankly to you know I feel yuck

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or okay it's the only two emotions

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they've got

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all right so you'll build a repertoire

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and what you'll discover is you start to

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build a repertoire some emotions are

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better antidotes than others so you can

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start to navigate around the second

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manoeuvre once you've started to

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navigate around the universe is really

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once you get to a more constructive

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planet there's no right and wrong to

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this but is this emotion really serving

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you when you get to a more constructive

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planet can you stay there and that

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really requires you to do a separate

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maneuver

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it's called mastery where you actually

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take the emotion which is subject to you

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it's your it's a subjective experience I

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it's below the level of your real

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awareness you all sort of subject to it

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ie it's gone you so if you've got anger

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alright if anger is going through your

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system if you're on the planet of anger

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it's got you you haven't got it it's got

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you so the way to get control over it is

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to objectify it's like on earth is anger

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so you take it as a subjective

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experience and you objectify and if you

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can objectify it you can get a grip of

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it and if you can do that with your

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positive emotions then you can move

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yourself over to the positive side of

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the universe and stay there so you

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really don't have to feel anything you

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do not want to feel you know misery is

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optional you don't have to feel that but

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if you haven't got control if you

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haven't got control then who has and the

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answer is usually somebody outside of

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you so I'd really encourage you if you

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want to transform your life forever

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because ultimately emotions will predict

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your health

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they'll predict your performance they'll

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predict your well-being they'll predict

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your sense of fulfillment they'll

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determine your ability to make effective

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decisions emotions drive all of that

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your motivation and so on and if you

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don't know anything bad them and you

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haven't got control over them it's a

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little bit of a lottery is life so if

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you go away after today and ask yourself

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one question what planet am I on and

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what planet would I like to be on and

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start to work to be on the planet that

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you want to be on rather than wherever

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life has pushed you imagine a world

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where all of us could be on the planet

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we wanted to be off

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or navigate around that kind of solar

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system well the galaxies that we wanted

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to experience imagine a world where you

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know when you go to the bar to chat up

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that attractive person at the bar

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you didn't need four pints of Dutch

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courage before you could go there right

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imagine you could just do that yourself

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imagine a world where you didn't knew

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need to feel anxious going into an exam

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or a job interview where you didn't need

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to feel terrified coming onstage imagine

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a world where your children on the

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receiving end of bullying didn't feel

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terrified or bullied if you could

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control your emotions you can change

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your life completely so I'd really

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encourage you to start wondering about

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what planet you're on and start putting

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yourself in the universe and that part

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of the universe where you really want to

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live your life thank you very much

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you

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Related Tags
Emotional IntelligencePersonal GrowthTED TalkMindfulnessSelf-AwarenessLeadershipHealth and Well-beingPerformanceDecision MakingEmotional Control