211 Counselling (Lesson 10) Confrontation

Summary

This lesson focuses on the advanced counseling skill of confrontation, which requires a strong counselor-client relationship and experience. Confrontation involves addressing discrepancies in a person's words and actions, such as contradictions or incongruences in their statements or behaviors. Counselors are encouraged to use open-ended questions and remain present, using a tone that invites exploration rather than judgment. The lesson emphasizes the importance of silence after posing challenging questions, giving the client time to process and respond. Confrontation, when done effectively, can be a powerful tool for fostering insight and growth in clients.

Takeaways

• 😀 Confrontation in counseling involves addressing discrepancies between what clients say and do, not creating conflict.
• 😀 Building a strong relationship and rapport with the client is essential to make confrontation effective and non-threatening.
• 😀 Counselors must use a tone of genuine curiosity and be present in the moment during confrontation.
• 😀 Open-ended questions, such as 'Can you help me understand?' are key tools for exploring discrepancies during confrontation.
• 😀 Silence after asking a question is crucial, as it gives the client time to reflect and process their response.
• 😀 It's important not to 'rescue' the client from silence by filling the gaps with statements or explanations.
• 😀 Confrontation can be powerful for helping clients explore their own inconsistencies and gain insights about themselves.
• 😀 A counselor must avoid judgmental language, as it can create a defensive atmosphere and hinder productive confrontation.
• 😀 Discrepancies that can be confronted include contradictions between verbal statements and actions, such as wanting to be a psychologist but being eager to quit school.
• 😀 Confrontation should happen in the moment, as waiting until later often leads to a missed opportunity or a feeling of being attacked.
• 😀 The counselor should give clients the time and space to work through their contradictions, rather than rushing them to provide answers.

Q & A

What is the main focus of Lesson 10?

The main focus of Lesson 10 is on the advanced counseling skill of confrontation. It involves addressing discrepancies between what clients say and do, and is considered an advanced skill that requires a strong relationship between the counselor and client.

Why is confrontation considered an advanced skill in counseling?

Confrontation is considered advanced because it demands a high level of skill, experience, and the ability to maintain a strong, trusting relationship with the client. It also requires careful timing and sensitivity to the client's emotional state.

How is confrontation different from conflict?

Confrontation in counseling is not about arguing or fighting. Instead, it is about pointing out inconsistencies or contradictions in a client's behavior or statements. It is a non-threatening way to explore discrepancies, unlike conflict, which is more about disagreement or tension.

What role does the counselor's relationship with the client play in confrontation?

The counselor's relationship with the client is crucial in confrontation because it ensures the process is non-threatening. The counselor needs to maintain rapport and trust throughout the confrontation, helping the client feel safe while addressing discrepancies.

Why is it important to confront discrepancies in the moment?

Confronting discrepancies in the moment is important because if left unaddressed, they might not be remembered, or they may feel like the counselor is stacking evidence against the client. Immediate confrontation also prevents the client from feeling ambushed or judged later on.

What kind of questions should a counselor use during confrontation?

A counselor should use open-ended questions during confrontation. These questions invite the client to reflect and explain the discrepancies in their behavior or statements. For example, 'Can you help me understand how those two things fit together?'

Why is silence important after a counselor confronts a discrepancy?

Silence is important because it gives the client time to process the confrontation and reflect on their response. It also shows that the counselor is genuinely waiting for the client's input without rushing them or rescuing them from the discomfort of silence.

What should a counselor avoid saying after posing a challenging question?

A counselor should avoid saying things like 'It sounds like you don’t have an answer for me right now' or 'See, it doesn’t work, does it?' These types of responses can take the client off the hook and prevent them from doing the important work of resolving the discrepancy themselves.

What example is given in the transcript to demonstrate confrontation?

An example given is when a client, Diane, expresses wanting to be a psychologist but also says she can't wait to finish school. The counselor asks, 'Can you help me understand how these two things fit together?' This challenges the contradiction in her statements.

What is the significance of confrontation in the counseling process?

Confrontation is significant because it helps clients recognize and resolve discrepancies within themselves. When done well, it leads to powerful insights and personal growth, helping the client to align their behaviors and beliefs.