Realise when it’s time to let go
Summary
TLDRDans cette vidéo, l'animateur partage des conseils sur l'importance de savoir lâcher prise, reconnaître les moments où il faut le faire et les stratégies pour y parvenir. Il relate l'histoire d'un ami coincé dans un emploi stagnant et malheureux, expliquant comment la promesse non tenue et la manipulation peuvent conduire à une situation insoutenable. L'animateur insiste sur la nécessité de se concentrer sur l'avenir plutôt que sur le temps et l'énergie investis, et sur la valeur de ne pas se laisser manipuler. Il encourage également à valoriser soi-même, à ne pas gaspiller son temps sur des personnes ou des situations toxiques, et à avoir confiance en soi pour faire face aux changements et aux défis de la vie.
Takeaways
- 🧘♀️ L'importance de lâcher prise : Il est essentiel de savoir quand et comment lâcher prise, surtout lorsque l'on est dans une situation où l'on ne progresse plus et se sent malheureux.
- 🚫 La reconnaissance de la manipulation : Reconnaître les promesses non tenues comme signe de manipulation et de ne pas se laisser influencer par des paroles non corroborées par des actions.
- 🤔 La valeur de l'action sur la parole : Il est important de juger les gens par leurs actions plutôt que par leurs paroles, car les actions sont un reflet plus fidèle de leur véritable intention.
- 💡 La prise de conscience de l'auto-respect : Il est crucial de se valoriser soi-même et de ne pas accepter moins que ce que l'on mérite, que ce soit dans le travail ou dans les relations personnelles.
- 💔 Le danger des relations toxiques : Les relations où l'on se sent malheureux et où les promesses ne sont pas tenues peuvent être toxiques et il est important de les quitter pour éviter de se sentir piégé ou contrôlé.
- 🏠 L'importance de la famille : Maintenir une relation saine avec sa famille est important, car elle peut être une source de soutien et de bon conseil face à des relations toxiques.
- 🔄 La nécessité de l'évolution : Il est nécessaire de changer et d'évoluer pour éviter la stagnation et le mal-être, même si cela signifie quitter un emploi ou une relation.
- 💡 La confiance en soi : Il est important de faire confiance en soi et en sa capacité à surmonter les difficultés et à créer un avenir meilleur.
- 🌟 La foi en un plan supérieur : Avoir foi en un plan divin ou universel qui peut conduire à un avenir meilleur, même si cela implique de prendre des risques et de lâcher prise.
- 🚀 La nécessité de planifier sa sortie : Lorsqu'il est temps de quitter une situation toxique, il est essentiel de planifier sa sortie de manière à minimiser les conséquences négatives.
- 🌈 La possibilité de changement : Il est possible de changer sa vie à tout âge, et il n'est jamais trop tard pour suivre son intuition et poursuit ses aspirations.
Q & A
Quel est le thème principal de cette vidéo ?
-Le thème principal de cette vidéo est de savoir quand et comment lâcher prise, en se concentrant sur les situations où l'on est bloqué et insatisfait, comme dans un emploi ou une relation.
Quel conseil a-t-elle donné à son ami concernant son travail ?
-Elle a conseillé à son ami de quitter son travail après sept ans, où il s'est senti piégé, insatisfait et où les promesses de son patron n'étaient pas tenues.
Quelle est la 'faute de sunk cost' mentionnée dans le livre 'The Art of Thinking Clearly' ?
-La 'faute de sunk cost' est le biais cognitif où l'on considère le temps et l'énergie déjà investis dans quelque chose comme une raison de continuer malgré un avenir sans amélioration.
Comment peut-on se rendre compte qu'on est manipulé ?
-On peut se rendre compte qu'on est manipulé lorsque quelqu'un promet des choses sans jamais les tenir, ce qui indique qu'ils essaient de vous faire rester sans apporter de changement réel.
Pourquoi est-il important de ne pas se baser uniquement sur les mots des gens ?
-Il est important de ne pas se baser uniquement sur les mots car les actions réelles sont plus significatives et révélatrice de l'intention et de la sincérité d'une personne.
Quelle est la conséquence de ne pas valoriser ce que l'on peut facilement obtenir ?
-Si quelque chose est facile à obtenir, cela n'est généralement pas valorisé, ce qui peut conduire à une prise en considération insuffisante et à une potentielle négligence ou manque de respect.
Pourquoi est-il recommandé de ne pas être facile à obtenir dans les relations ?
-Ne pas être facile à obtenir permet à l'autre personne de prouver sa valeur et sa détermination, ce qui favorise une relation plus respectueuse et équilibrée.
Quel est le message sur l'égalité dans les relations et comment cela peut-elle être abusé ?
-Le message est que l'égalité dans les relations est importante, mais il ne faut pas que cela se traduise par des hommes qui ne se sentent pas obligés de s'engager ou de prouver leur valeur, ce qui peut mener à une dynamique de pouvoir inégale.
Quelle est la conséquence de ne pas écouter les conseils de ses proches sur les relations toxiques ?
-Ignorer les conseils de ses proches sur des relations toxiques peut mener à une isolation et à un contrôle accru par la partenaire toxique, ce qui est dévastateur sur le plan émotionnel et social.
Quel conseil est donné pour ceux qui veulent changer de direction dans leur vie professionnelle ou personnelle ?
-Le conseil donné est d'avoir confiance en soi, de reconnaître qu'il est jamais trop tard pour changer de direction, et de suivre son intuition pour trouver ce qui apporte du bonheur et de la progression.
Quel est le conseil sur la manière de se préparer à quitter une situation toxique ?
-Le conseil est de planifier une sortie en cherchant un autre emploi, en économisant de l'argent, ou en trouvant du soutien auprès de la famille et des amis pour s'assurer d'un passage en douceur.
Pourquoi est-il important de ne pas rouvrir la porte après avoir lâché prise ?
-Il est important de ne pas rouvrir la porte pour éviter de revenir dans une situation toxique ou insatisfaisante, ce qui empêche l'avancement et la croissance personnelle.
Quel est le message final sur la foi en soi et la confiance dans le processus de lâcher prise ?
-Le message final est d'avoir confiance en soi, en Dieu ou dans l'univers, et de croire que tout se débrouillera si on est prêt à prendre des risques et à lâcher prise, ce qui permet de faire entrer de nouvelles opportunités et réalisations dans la vie.
Outlines
😥 Lâcher prise et manipulation
Le premier paragraphe aborde le sujet de savoir quand et comment lâcher prise, illustré par l'histoire d'un ami qui a travaillé pendant sept ans dans un emploi où il ne progressait plus. L'orateur mentionne le 'biais de sunk cost', expliquant qu'il ne faut pas considérer le temps ou l'énergie déjà investis comme une raison de rester dans une situation inefficace ou toxique, que ce soit dans un travail ou une relation. Il insiste sur la reconnaissance de la manipulation, lorsque des promesses ne sont pas tenues, et sur la nécessité de se fier aux actions plutôt qu'aux mots.
🤔 Valeur personnelle et égalité dans les relations
Dans ce paragraphe, l'orateur discute de l'importance de ne pas être facile à obtenir ou à retenir, car cela mène à une sous-évaluation de sa valeur. Il critique l'idée que les hommes et les femmes devraient être égaux sans effort de la part des hommes pour mériter et maintenir une relation. Il insiste sur la nécessité de faire preuve de respect et de ne pas gaspiller son temps avec des personnes ou des entreprises qui ne tiennent pas leurs promesses ou qui sont toxiques.
😡 Échapper à l'isolement et au contrôle toxique
Le troisième paragraphe traite de l'isolement causé par des relations toxiques, où des individus sont poussés loin de leur famille et amis par un partenaire abusif. L'orateur encourage à ne pas écouter les manipulateurs qui vous disent que vous ne méritez pas mieux, et à reprendre le contrôle de sa vie. Il soutient que tout ce qui est source de malheur ou d'arrêt de progression doit être laissé derrière, et que la famille et les amis bienveillants peuvent souvent offrir une meilleure perspective sur une relation toxique.
🚀 Prendre le contrôle de sa vie et de son avenir
Dans le quatrième paragraphe, l'orateur insiste sur l'importance de planifier sa sortie des situations toxiques ou insatisfaisantes, que ce soit dans le travail ou les relations personnelles. Il partage son propre exemple pour montrer comment lâcher prise a permis de faire entrer de bonnes choses dans sa vie. Il encourage à avoir la foi en soi, en Dieu ou dans l'univers, et à ne pas craindre de prendre des risques pour évoluer et apprendre, soulignant que l'âge ne devrait pas être une barrière à la réalisation de ses aspirations.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Lâcher prise
💡Fallacie de la sunken cost
💡Manipulation
💡Respect
💡Évolution
💡Progrès
💡Manipulation émotionnelle
💡Valoir la peine
💡Changement
💡Foi
💡Planification
💡Isolation
Highlights
The importance of letting go and recognizing when to do so.
Advice on how to let go of a stagnant job after seven years.
The Sunk Cost Fallacy and its influence on decision-making.
The need to focus on the future rather than past investments.
Recognizing manipulation in both personal and professional relationships.
The danger of valuing words over actions in assessing trustworthiness.
Understanding that loyalty is often undervalued by those who exploit it.
The societal shift affecting the dynamics of modern relationships.
The empowerment of self-respect and valuing oneself in relationships.
The concept that time is a precious resource that should not be wasted.
The impact of toxic relationships on personal growth and happiness.
The power of believing in oneself and one's capabilities.
The idea that life should add to one's existence, not detract from it.
The potential consequences of isolating oneself from a supportive family.
The value of listening to and trusting the advice of loved ones.
The encouragement to change direction in life when necessary.
The role of progression in maintaining happiness and avoiding depression.
The process of planning an exit strategy from an unsatisfactory situation.
The transformative power of letting go and having faith in a better future.
The importance of self-belief and the ability to overcome past challenges.
The concept of evolving and learning as a fundamental aspect of life.
Transcripts
hi guys I know this is not my usual
setting but I was actually going to bed
and um I felt called to do this video
and it's basically about letting go
knowing when to let go and uh how to let
go
and the reason why I want to do this
video is because for the past days I
have been helping a friend of mine
giving him advice on how to let go of a
job that he has been working at for
seven years and it's like his career
field and he just stopped growing in
that career so he began to feel
miserable
and
um the boss kept promising him stuff but
never delivering on it and he basically
told me Elizabeth what should I do and I
told him you have to leave you know when
you're stuck in a situation like that
where you're miserable people are
promising your stuff they're not
delivering on it or you're stuck in a
relationship what you need to do you
need to think about I was reading this
book yeah in the art of thinking clearly
it talked about something it's called
the Suncoast fallacy Suncoast cells he
basically means you don't have to look
at how much time or energy you spent
into something as a reason as why you
should stay you should look at what is
the future of this thing
like it doesn't matter how much time or
energy you put in if the future of it is
not going to get better if if you have
put years into that relationship and
energy and whatever but you're unhappy
and you see your future in that
relationship being unhappy then there's
no point in staying if the same with
with the company or your work if it's
not going up there's no point in staying
first thing I think what you should do
is realize when you're being manipulated
when a person is promising you stuff and
never delivering on it you are being
manipulated if someone is telling you
even if a boss is telling you yeah you
will get this position if you do this
then you do that thing and you still
don't get that position that's
manipulation because it like they're
promising you stuff but they're never
delivering on it you know same way in a
relationship they're promising you to
change they're promising you that
they'll do better or whatever it won't
happen again but then it does make
manipulation
they're just saying anything to make you
stay if if the words don't match the
actions you leave you guys need to stop
believing people on words people are
full of okay let's be honest
here like it's so easy to lie why would
not everyone lie you know if I wanted to
keep a girl but I know I I like I'm not
serious with her but I can't just sleep
around with her I would also lie to her
to make her stay you know why not if I
can why not you know most most people
don't feel bad when they do that and you
need to realize that not everyone has a
good heart or morals or or feel feels
bad about the stuff no most people don't
and you guys need to start realizing
that the world is really harsh when the
words do not match the action see I had
so many people in my life screaming to
me Liz I love you I love you but then
they would do stuff to me that was so
shitty that I would think like how is
this love you know and then you have me
I'm verbally I don't say that much like
oh I love you but I will always showed
my actions that I respect you I love you
and I'm loyal to you like my actions
will always show
I don't talk I show you and that's how
you have to look at people look at your
boss is are they just talking all right
are they actually giving me what I want
and what they promised me look at your
relationship the same way other thing is
what they can easily get will never be
valued okay and also if you're easy like
if you're loyal to a company that is
literally not giving you what you want
but promising making false promises also
they will not value you because see with
my friend the issue was what his boss
did is he promised proms promise never
delivered but the boss knew the guy
would never leave he's so loyal to this
company he knew he would not leave so he
knew this Behavior could go on for years
and years without him really doing
anything you know and they would even
say like oh no he will never leave
doesn't matter whatever that's how these
people start to disrespect you
start to Value yourself you know start
to Value what you want and what you
think that you deserve relationships
don't get too easily with people make
them literally work for you make people
prove especially if you're going into
relationship with a man make that man
prove to you that he's worthy of being
with you because in this day and age and
I truly believe this is the issue with
most relationships these days is because
we we've created this whole thing of
like oh no uh they don't have to do
anything anymore everything's equal this
and that so then you have men that don't
want to show up and be men anymore
they're just like okay whatever I I
don't have to do anything so they're not
going to do anything and even worse they
want to take from the woman now yes I do
believe in equality I do believe a man
and a woman should be equal and and I'm
happy if that's the way it is but at the
end of the day if if you like make it so
easy for a man to get with you and he
doesn't have to do anything at all and
he can still be in a relationship with
you they will abuse that power
they will abuse that power and that is
not an that's not equality you know
because again they're more powerful over
you because you're giving yourself away
for nothing this person doesn't even
appreciate you respect you doesn't do
anything for you and you're just giving
yourself you're giving your time value
yourself making someone uh literally
prove to you that they're a good person
with their actions is valuing yourself
that is self-respect there's just
nothing worse than wasted time wasted
time on people don't waste your time
your your time is valuable you guys like
literally I've heard so many older
people say time flies like this
today you're 20 years old tomorrow
you're 80 and it flies like this don't
waste your time on dumb people don't
waste your time on dumb people don't put
your energy into people that promise you
stuff don't deliver don't go to people
that don't respect you or are toxic
because you're lonely and you don't have
anyone so I'll just stay with them
but then you end up being miserable
again they're taking away from you
they're taking away from your years and
you end up feeling bad about yourself
you end up feeling insecure and thinking
that you cannot do anything bad those
kind of bosses those kind of
relationship people what they will do is
they will make it seem like you are this
is the only good thing you will ever get
like you cannot get any better than this
and that is just such like that's one of
the things they do with their
manipulation yeah they have to make you
feel like you cannot get do anything
better so that toxic partner will make
you feel like you cannot get anyone
better than him or anyone that treats
you decency and respect they will make
you actually believe that or your job
they will make you believe that oh you
cannot get anywhere better you will not
be paid better you will not get the same
uh respect or position whatever that's
such like stop listening to
these people it's not true it's not true
in order to control you they have to
make you feel this small but you have
the power to take you to take that back
and be like no you know what I deserve
much better and I'm capable of much
better and yes I can get much better
than you and you can there's literally
billions of people in this world and you
think this one douchebag is your only
option please
there's literally so many companies you
can start your own company there's so
many options in this world money is only
an energy if you start to understand
money in an energetic way you also start
to realize it doesn't have to be this
hard stock six people constantly benefit
from putting you down and making you
feel this small but like stop it has to
stop and the only Power you have right
now is to take your own power back you
gave away your power to those people
those people are not powerful without
your energy that you gave to them that
company is nothing without you that
company needs you you don't need them
that toxic person needs you you don't
need them
you think anyone wants to be with
someone that treats them like
nobody wants to do that so when they're
telling you you can't do anything better
they're actually projecting onto you
they can't do anything better that
company cannot find a better employee
than you that partner cannot find a
better partner than you because you're
the only one that wants to put up with
their stuff nobody else wants to do that
whether it's a company whether it's a
relationship that thing whatever it is
should always add to your life and not
take away from it
for example
the my friend that works for the company
he completely doesn't have any time
anymore for his friends or family
constantly working constantly working
became miserable his relationships are
failing
um so and he doesn't even make enough
money to make up for that you know so
it's like his relationships are
completely failing and the company is
taking away from his relationship his
personal life it shouldn't do that if
you're doing a job that job should add
you should make your money and and you
should like you should still have your
life you should still have be able to
keep your relationships and the same way
you know I'm gonna say one thing have a
partner and you have a good family that
cares about you and your family says
that this guy is not good for you or
this girl is not good for you and they
can see it and and you actually also
know there's kind of red flags but you
still choose that partner over your
family and you lose your family because
you chose that partner that's a dumb
decision I'm gonna say it here that's a
dumb decision if you have a good family
I'm not talking about toxic families if
you have a family that actually cares
about you once that toxic person that
got you away from your family knows that
you don't have anyone anymore and you're
not communicating with your family
anymore you're done you're done
you're literally like caged for them
because they have all control now every
time you want to leave they'll say where
do you want to go you don't have anyone
they they literally feed off of this you
cannot catch me go against literally the
people that I love because of a man
honestly truly actually had friends
co-workers people that I used to know
tell me that they did this when when
they had a good family and they said it
was the worst decision of my life the
person became abusive the person
literally did anything and everything to
me
and um yeah at the end of the day they
felt isolated so much trauma coming out
of it because you're not talking to
anyone anymore you don't have anyone to
go to now you only have this one toxic
person and you're isolated with them
with them yeah sometimes people around
you that love you you might feel like oh
they're going against me they don't know
what they're talking about whatever
sometimes they know better believe me
trust me I have seen it with my own eyes
not with one case I've seen multiple
cases like this
sometimes your loved ones know better
but realize that it's okay to change
your mind you don't have to do things
like one way or just because you studied
this and you're in this in this company
and you did this job but you don't feel
good there and you want to do something
else it's okay to do something else you
know it's never too late to change
direction you will anyways go where
you're meant to go or where your
intuition leads you you will get there
but maybe it's not a straight line maybe
you have to go like this or try
different things to in order for you to
just be like oh this is what I want to
do I was watching this interview from
Tony Robbins and Tony Robbins was
basically talking about uh humans get
unhappy and depressed when they stop
progressing in life
progression is literally what makes us
happy that's why even if you look at
people that are at the top they have
millions and millions they you might
look at them and see whoa oh my God they
accomplished everything but they're
miserable why do you think that is they
stopped progressing in life they don't
have that drive anymore because they
have everything so we constantly need to
find that thing that drives us need to
find that thing that makes us want want
to involve and when you feel like it's
not okay to change your mind or you have
to stay this way because this is what
you've been taught and whatever you'll
become miserable at the end of the day
because you know that this is not what
you want and second of all you feel like
you're not progressing because this is
not even what you want to begin with you
don't even want to progress in this
thing so you're stuck and you will
really become miserable start thinking
about okay maybe this was not what I
wanted I tried this but this is not what
I want this relationship I tried it but
this is not what I want I want something
else it's okay to change your mind it's
okay we are here on Earth to constantly
evolve when you stop evolving that's
when you stop living so once you made
that decision for yourself that you have
to let go you plan your exit okay if
you're in that company and you want to
leave what you do is you search for
another job in another company or maybe
you're like okay I don't want to work
for now I'm going to take off and travel
or whatever or I'm gonna do whatever you
can also do that uh whatever you want to
do but plan your exit
plan your exit in a relationship if this
is really not what you want okay you
start thinking about how can I get out
of this relationship do you need
financial do you need money
um whatever you need maybe you can find
family members friends anyone that can
help you to get out plan your exit you
do not stay where respect is not served
you do not stay where you're manipulated
you do not stay where you're miserable
once you have let go and you close that
door you do not open that door again
and why am I saying this listen I used
to constantly when I was I had an ex me
and my ex were good friends but
um he would constantly like he would
take care of me financially when I was
really really broke and I really needed
him but I didn't like the relationship
anymore and there was no love and I
wanted to leave I I constantly would
like ask God like please give me someone
that I love that they get scared of me
um but that would never happen and I
would constantly be stuck with this
partner so what happened is I literally
in a moment where I was my Brokers I was
like you know what I have to let go of
my ex otherwise the person that is meant
for me can never come in so what I did
is I was like okay I'm just gonna let go
of him I don't care that I literally
have no money you know without him so
then I let him go and then literally
like uh a year later I met my partner
now and he's literally what I've wanted
and what I've prayed prayed for so in
order for that manifestation to come in
that you want about maybe the partner or
or the job that you want you need to let
go of the thing that's not serving you
if the thing right now is not what you
want but you just hold on to it because
it's comfortable
you have to have faith and let go
because I really really believe if you
don't believe in God believe in yourself
if if whether it's the universe
something else I don't know I really
believe God has a bigger plan really
honestly I I believe God has a bigger
plan and I think the things we ask for
are just pathetic and he has like such a
big plan and we can have like huge huge
stuff but where we don't think that we
can have it so we never Attract it and
this is what I told my friend as well
I'm like you have to show God that you
trust him you know you have you don't
have to be afraid to let go of this
toxic uh job that you have right now and
uh be like oh no if if I don't let this
go I will not have something else you
will because God always provides you
will always have always but you have to
have some faith and if you don't believe
in God believe in yourself you will
provide for yourself you will you got
yourself out of so many bad situations
did you not like we literally went
through so much and we're still standing
we're still doing our stuff doing like
trying to get better and trying to
evolve so you're still here are you not
why do you not believe in yourself then
why do you not think you can get better
every time you thought that this was the
end and like you would never get out of
this you got out of it didn't you why do
you think that this time you're gonna
fail yourself you're not trust me trust
me once you let go once I had let go of
all the shitty friends that I had all
like my partner that there was no love
anymore once I let all of that go I I
promise you everything I ever wanted
came in and there is no person that has
left my life that I missed truly truly
I'm sorry and there is no person that I
would take back from from my previous
life like in this like in this new
reality that I'm living no I'm sorry I'm
literally not but once all that that
like unwanted is gone your true purpose
starts to show you start to see what is
meant for you and and literally Miracles
start to happen because you had Faith
you had faith in yourself you had faith
in God and you were not afraid to take
risks
sometimes in life you need to get
uncomfortable see when you're jumping
from your presence reality to the new
one that you want in the beginning it
might be a little chaotic like it's not
gonna be amazing from the get-go you
know and you have to accept that but
that's okay you know you've survived
much worse much worse
this time when you're going into this
you actually have a plan and you have
wisdom that you didn't have before so
this time around it will be different I
promise you it will be different and
don't also think like oh no it's too
late like my age this and that whatever
no people have done incredible things at
60 at 70 they've accomplished only you
know it doesn't matter it doesn't matter
your age doesn't matter you see age is
just a number we are a soul you know
it's it's all about our soul you guys
have to realize that our souls are here
on Earth to evolve literally and to
learn constantly we have to learn
once we stop learning and evolving we
stop living
so in order for you to do that you
constantly have to experience new things
you have to create those experiences for
yourself and you don't have to be scared
to do that
fear stops everything instead of fear
have faith have faith in yourself if you
believe in God have faith in God have
faith in the universe everything will
work out for you at the end
but don't do a dishonor to yourself by
staying where you're not welcome
anyways guys I love you guys so much I'm
so sorry looking like this because I
know a lot of people don't like it uh
when I am not dressed up but honestly I
just really wanted to share this message
with you guys because I felt like I felt
some of you need it
um so yeah I love you guys so much
bye-bye
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