Don't Allow People To Manipulate You Emotionally: Part 2: English: BK Shivani at Spain

BKShivani
17 Nov 202318:51

Summary

TLDRThe provided transcript emphasizes the importance of personal control over one's mental state and the power of choice in response to external stimuli. It suggests that while we cannot control others or change them, we can control our own reactions and thoughts. The speaker encourages taking charge of one's mind and not allowing external factors to dictate our emotional well-being. By doing so, we can maintain emotional stability and serve as a source of support for others during their times of crisis. The transcript also touches on the potential loss of personal power if we rely too heavily on technology and fail to exercise our ability to respond to life's challenges. It concludes with the idea that practicing emotional mastery daily is essential to being able to provide genuine support to others when they need it most.

Takeaways

  • 🧠 **Self-Control is Key**: We cannot change others, only ourselves, and we have complete control over our own minds and reactions.
  • 💡 **Mindset Shift**: Recognizing that we have the power to control our own minds, not others, is a crucial first step towards personal empowerment.
  • 🌟 **Personal Growth**: It's important to focus on personal growth and emotional health, starting with taking charge of our own mental state for a day.
  • 🚫 **Rejecting Manipulation**: We should not allow others to manipulate our minds and emotions, as it leads to a loss of control and emotional dependency.
  • 🔄 **Emotional Stability**: By not mirroring others' negative behaviors, we maintain our emotional stability and do not surrender our power to choose our responses.
  • 🤔 **Creating Thoughts**: We have the ability to choose the thoughts we create in response to external stimuli, which determines our emotional state.
  • 😤 **Avoiding Automatic Reactions**: Removing words like 'obvious' from our vocabulary helps us avoid automatic, negative reactions to situations.
  • 🧘 **Inner Strength**: The right response is one that increases our inner strength, flexibility, and independence from others' behaviors.
  • 🤝 **Support Through Stability**: In times of crisis, those around us need support, which means providing a stable, powerful, and positive energy, not reflecting their distress.
  • 🌱 **Daily Practice**: Becoming a master of our mind requires daily practice, choosing our responses in every situation, even when they are not ideal.
  • 📈 **Power of Choice**: The human mind has the power to choose from numerous options in response to any given situation, and recognizing this power is essential for emotional well-being.

Q & A

  • What is the main message of the transcript regarding changing people?

    -The main message is that one cannot change others; they can only change themselves. People are capable of change when they want to and believe in their ability to do so.

  • How does the speaker suggest we should approach our own mind?

    -The speaker suggests that we should take charge of our own mind, recognizing that we are the creators of our thoughts and feelings, and that we have control over our responses to external stimuli.

  • Why is it important to not let others control our mind?

    -Allowing others to control our mind leads to a lack of emotional health and freedom. It can result in emotional manipulation and exploitation, causing us to feel dependent on others' behaviors.

  • What does the speaker propose as a personal challenge?

    -The speaker proposes a personal challenge to take charge of one's own mind for one day, setting no expectations from the world, and responding with peace and dignity.

  • How does the speaker define the 'right way' to respond to situations?

    -The 'right way' is defined as the response that increases inner strength, flexibility, and allows one to be the master of their mind, not dependent on others' behaviors, and radiates positive energy.

  • What is the significance of removing the word 'obvious' from our vocabulary?

    -Removing 'obvious' allows us to recognize that we have options in how we respond to situations. Saying something is 'obvious' implies a lack of choice and gives up our power to create alternative responses.

  • Why is it crucial to practice choosing our response every day?

    -Daily practice helps us become the master of our mind and prepares us to respond effectively and supportively in crisis situations, where stability and strength are needed to help others.

  • How does technology influence our ability to remember and use certain skills?

    -Technology can lead to a decline in our ability to remember and use certain skills, such as phone numbers and birthdays, as it takes over these tasks for us. This can result in a loss of power and ability if we become too reliant on it.

  • What is the role of a support system in times of crisis?

    -A support system should provide a stable, powerful, and positive energy to help those in crisis. It involves being a source of calmness, faith, and confidence that can help pull others out of their difficult situations.

  • How does reflecting others' behaviors impact our ability to support them?

    -Reflecting others' negative behaviors can lead to a loss of our own stability and power, which in turn diminishes our ability to provide the necessary support. It can cause us to add to their pain rather than alleviate it.

  • What is the key to maintaining emotional health and freedom?

    -The key is to take charge of our own mind, make conscious choices in our responses to life's situations, and not allow external factors or other people's behaviors to dictate our emotional state.

Outlines

00:00

🧠 Taking Control of One's Mind

The first paragraph emphasizes the importance of understanding that we cannot change others, only ourselves. It discusses the fallacy of believing we can control others while neglecting self-control. The speaker suggests shifting focus to what we can control—our own minds—and proposes an experiment of maintaining emotional health for a day to realize our inner power. The paragraph also touches on the dangers of allowing external factors to dictate our emotional state and the potential for manipulation when we are not in control of our own minds.

05:01

🌟 Creator of Thoughts and Feelings

The second paragraph delves into the concept that we are the creators of our thoughts and feelings. It challenges the notion that external stimuli dictate our reactions and instead encourages us to recognize our power to choose how we respond to life's situations. The speaker uses the example of someone being rude and asks whether we can choose to respond respectfully. The paragraph also addresses the limitations of using the word 'obvious', which can trap us into a single, predetermined reaction, and the importance of creating our own responses to be truly in control of our minds.

10:02

📈 Increasing Inner Strength and Flexibility

The third paragraph focuses on selecting the right way to respond to life's challenges based on what increases our inner strength and flexibility. It argues that the right response is one that allows us to be masters of our minds, not dependent on others' behaviors. The speaker warns against reflecting others' negative behaviors, which can lead to a loss of power and control. The paragraph also discusses the role of technology in taking over human functions and the potential loss of personal abilities if we become too reliant on it. It concludes with the idea that we must practice choosing our responses daily to be able to support others in times of crisis.

15:03

🤗 Providing Support Through Stability

The fourth paragraph discusses the importance of providing stable, powerful, and positive energy to those around us who may be in pain or crisis. It contrasts the need for a calm and supportive mindset with the tendency to mirror the negative emotions of others. The speaker emphasizes that true support comes from a place of strength and confidence, not from reacting to the immediate situation. The paragraph concludes by stressing the necessity of daily practice in choosing our responses to become a source of support and stability for others, regardless of the circumstances.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Change

Change refers to the process of making or becoming different. In the context of the video, it emphasizes the idea that one cannot change others but can only change themselves. The video stresses that individuals have the power to change their own mindset and reactions, which is central to the theme of self-mastery and emotional health.

💡Control

Control denotes the ability to influence or direct people or events. The video discusses the misconception that we have control over others, while in reality, we only have control over our own minds and reactions. The speaker encourages viewers to shift their focus from trying to control others to mastering their own mental state.

💡Mind

The mind is the element of a person that enables them to be aware of the world and their experiences. The video emphasizes that the mind is the creator of thoughts and feelings, and it is within our power to control it. The mind's role is pivotal in the video's message about personal empowerment and emotional stability.

💡Emotional Health

Emotional health is the state of maintaining a good psychological state and the ability to cope with everyday stressors. The video suggests that by taking charge of one's mind, a person can achieve a high level of emotional health, which is demonstrated by the speaker's challenge to maintain a positive state for a day.

💡Manipulation

Manipulation is the act of influencing someone to act or think in a desired way, often by underhanded or deceptive means. The video warns against allowing others to manipulate our minds and emphasizes the importance of being the master of one's own thoughts and emotions to prevent emotional exploitation.

💡Power

Power, in this context, refers to the ability to act, influence, or make decisions. The video speaks about the power of the human mind to choose responses to external stimuli. It is about recognizing and using one's inner strength to maintain emotional stability regardless of external circumstances.

💡Response

Response is the act of replying or reacting to something. The video encourages viewers to choose their responses consciously, rather than automatically reacting to situations. This choice is a key aspect of taking control of one's mind and not being swayed by the behavior of others.

💡Stability

Stability refers to a state of equilibrium or firmness in which there is little change or disturbance. The video uses stability as a measure of emotional health and a goal to strive for, suggesting that maintaining a stable mental state, even in the face of challenging situations, is a sign of mastering one's mind.

💡Support

Support means to bear all or part of the weight of something or someone. In the video, support is discussed in the context of providing emotional strength to others during their times of crisis. The speaker highlights that true support comes from a place of personal stability and positive energy, which one must cultivate through daily practice.

💡Situation

A situation is a set of circumstances in which one finds themselves. The video emphasizes that while situations may vary, one's mental state should remain stable and strong, regardless of external conditions. This concept is integral to the video's message about maintaining control over one's mind in the face of life's challenges.

💡Technology

Technology refers to tools, devices, and systems that are the result of scientific knowledge. The video briefly touches on the role of technology in our lives, suggesting that over-reliance on it can lead to a loss of personal abilities, such as remembering information or correcting our own mistakes. This serves as a reminder to maintain our own powers and not to outsource them entirely to external aids.

Highlights

The realization that one cannot change others but can only change oneself.

The importance of understanding when people will change themselves - when they want to.

The concept that we have control over our own mind, not others'.

The idea that we often mistakenly believe we can control others and lack control over our own mind.

The suggestion to shift focus to the mind, which we have control over, instead of others.

The challenge to take personal responsibility for one's emotional health for a day.

The empowerment that comes from recognizing we are the creators of our thoughts and feelings.

The notion that we often give away our power by attributing our emotional state to others.

The advice to remove the word 'obvious' from our vocabulary to avoid limiting our options.

The assertion that the right response is one that increases inner strength and flexibility.

The concept that reflecting others' behaviors leads to a loss of personal power and choice.

The warning against becoming overly dependent on technology, which can erode our abilities.

The importance of practicing daily to become the master of one's mind and not just reacting to situations.

The idea that we should aim to be a source of support for others by maintaining a positive, stable mindset.

The need to choose a response every day that is independent of the situation to build mental strength.

The challenge of providing support to others during their crisis by maintaining a higher vibrational energy.

The emphasis on the power of the human mind to have options and the importance of making conscious choices.

Transcripts

play00:00

so let's tell our mind once and for all

play00:03

today I cannot change people I can

play00:08

advise I can suggest I can

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instruct I can order I can force I

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cannot

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change who can change

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them who can change them they themselves

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when will they change themselves when

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they wanton that's what is very

play00:29

important when they want until then what

play00:32

am I going to

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do they will change when they want and

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when will they change when they believe

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they want to change until then what's

play00:42

going to be my state of

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mind till then I can just shift to

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change the one on whom I have total

play00:54

control what we did was we thought

play00:57

changing People is very easy and for

play01:00

ourselves we said mind is not at all in

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my

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control I can control other people's

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mind but when it comes to my mind I

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don't have control over my mind so the

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equation went wrong where there was no

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control we thought we have control and

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where there was control I said I have no

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control which mind do you think is

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easier to take charge of others or my

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mind my mind then let's just shift the

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attention there tomorrow one day can you

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take personal guarantee that you will

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respond your way let anybody do whatever

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they

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want only one

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day only one day let's experience an

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emotional health of 10 because that will

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show us the amazing amount of power

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which we have we only have to

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start we only have to start using it but

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if I live under an illusion thinking

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that people have the remote control of

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my

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mind then I allow my mind to go through

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ups and downs ups and downs ups and

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downs and then I start experiencing that

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fluctuation most of the time of the

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day and people also start believing that

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they have the remote control of our

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mind so they when they have to talk to

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their spouse or to somebody they will

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just check m

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now I know what to say to get my work

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done so because we believe that people

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can control our mind people have also

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started trying to manipulate our

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mind and then because we are not masters

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of our mind we sometimes allow ourself

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to

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get we allow oursel to get manipulated

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exploited by other people

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emotionally emotionally

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and that's when it's not healthy for me

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because then I truly believe that I'm

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being controlled by somebody

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else if they are happy I am happy if

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they are upset I am in pain if they are

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angry I'm hurt I have no Freedom left

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here nothing is in my hands everything

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seems to be dependent on people's

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behavior so just for one

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day take charge and all that you have to

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do is just take

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charge no expectations from the world to

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be my

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way let's give the world the permission

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for one day be and do what you want for

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one

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day say what you want for one

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day and I will be able to respond with

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peace and dignity for one

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day done

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done

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certain

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certain personal guarantee this is

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personal

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guarantee we will not

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try we will be certain that we will do

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it why should we try the word try should

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only come for those things which are not

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in our

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control if it comes to changing other

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people I try because I'm not sure

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whether they will whether they will not

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so I say I will try when it comes to

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hear there's no reason to try it's my

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mind who is the creator of our thoughts

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and

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feelings who is the creator of our

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thoughts and

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feelings who is the creator of our

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thoughts and feelings I myself once in a

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while or

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always always and yet I go through the

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day saying they upset me they irritated

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me I'm happy because of her I'm angry

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because of him every time every line was

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giving away the power to another person

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saying you control my

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mind illusion that we were living in who

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is the creator of every thought and

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feeling who is the creator of every

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thought and feeling myself now look at

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any stimulus of your life which means

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look at any situation of your life it's

play05:35

an outer stimulus it's

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here it's here it could be a work crisis

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it could be a financial crisis it could

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be a health issue it could be a

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relationship issue it's

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outside I create the thoughts about that

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issue I create the thoughts about about

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that issue do I have a choice what kind

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of thoughts to

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create do I have a choice what kind of

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thoughts to create which means if

play06:11

someone is rude to me can I be

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respectful to

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them if someone is rude to me can I be

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respectful to them yes should I

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be

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can I be yes should I be yes will I be

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tomorrow and there

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after what stops us from using our

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power what stops us from using our power

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you walk into this hole you walk up to

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somebody you know and you just walking

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up to them to wish them they see you

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coming there and they deliberately look

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away

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you're walking up smiling ready to greet

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them they see you coming and they

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go how would we

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respond how would we

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respond options number

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one option number

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one different there are lot of responses

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option number one they turned away

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option number

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one response option not thoughts first

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option in response they turned away

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option in

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response I smile at them one option I

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ignore them two option any other

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option I smile at them one option I

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ignore them two option any other

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option I greet them third option fourth

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option I greet them in my words say

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horrible things about them in my

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mind fifth option I greet them in my

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words and I'm nice about them in my

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mind sixth option forget them who's

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interested in talking to them if they're

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not interested in talking to me Option 1

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2 3 4 5 6 we can come up with six more

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options that's the power of the human

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mind the human mind has

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options but you know what vocabulary we

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started using they turned away obviously

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I'll get

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Disturbed and when I used the word

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obvious I was saying this was the only

play08:51

option there was no other

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option so let's remove this word obvious

play08:58

from our vocabulary that obviously I

play09:00

will feel that way because when I say

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obvious I give up my power to create

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options and when I say obviously I'll

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get

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Disturbed my friends around me said

play09:13

obviously you'll get Disturbed

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stamp

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Endor and then repeatedly we are saying

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this is the obvious response and when I

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say that a couple of times this is the

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obvious reaction I've prepared my mind

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that every time people are not nice to

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you this is how you're supposed to react

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it'll do that for a

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lifetime it will do that for a lifetime

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because I've told it obviously this is

play09:43

the way to

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react she's asking me what's the right

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way my right way will be my right way

play09:57

there is no Universal right way way we

play10:00

will need to

play10:02

choose we will need to choose our right

play10:05

way but on what basis are we going to

play10:07

select the right way the right way is

play10:10

the way which will increase my inner

play10:13

strength the right way is the one which

play10:16

will increase my flexibility the right

play10:19

way is the one which will allow me to be

play10:21

the master of my mind not dependent on

play10:24

people's behaviors the right way is the

play10:26

one which will radiate Good Vibrations

play10:28

to my body keep me healthy the right way

play10:31

is the one which will keep me happy

play10:33

always now choose your right

play10:35

way now choose your right way because

play10:39

they turned away because they were going

play10:41

through

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something either they were upset with us

play10:45

because of a past

play10:47

Behavior either they didn't feel like

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talking to us whatever that's their

play10:51

issue if I reflect the same energy if I

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reflect the same behavior then it's not

play10:58

only one person in the day whose

play11:00

behavior I'm going to start

play11:02

reflecting so someone turned away this

play11:05

way I turned away that way someone spoke

play11:08

loudly I spoke loudly someone cheated me

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I said who's interested in them I

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started reflecting people's

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behaviors and when I started reflecting

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people's behaviors I started giving up

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my power to choose a

play11:26

response I only became a

play11:30

I only became

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a you be nice to me I'm nice to you

play11:34

you're very nice to me I'm very nice to

play11:36

you you're not nice to me I'm not nice

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to you I don't have to do anything in

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life I just have to reflect what other

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people are doing to me what will that do

play11:44

here my

play11:46

creativity my power to choose my

play11:48

response is over anything we don't

play11:53

use anything we don't use we

play11:57

start

play11:59

any power we don't use we start losing

play12:04

it 10 years back we knew everybody's

play12:07

phone numbers we knew everybody's

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birthdays it's a power which we were

play12:11

using today

play12:14

no today there is technology to tell me

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what is my appointment for the day what

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is everybody's birthday today what do I

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have to do who do I have to meet today

play12:22

now to the technology that if I'm typing

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my email technology tells me my line is

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not correct it corrects my grammar for

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me it corrects my spelling for me

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everything technology is doing which

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means in the next 10 years I might not

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be spelling

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right I may not be writing right correct

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language because technology is doing all

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that for me and if I allow technology to

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keep doing that for me for some time I

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will start losing my power to be able to

play12:50

do

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it if I stop using my power to respond

play12:55

to

play12:57

situations and I start saying the

play13:01

situation was such obviously this is

play13:03

what would happen I start losing my

play13:08

power and then my mind is dependent

play13:12

totally on what's going on outside I'm

play13:16

fortunate if things outside are going

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perfect for me my mind is perfect but

play13:21

the day the situation is not my way my

play13:24

mind will not have the power to be

play13:27

stable

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it will not because I did not create

play13:31

that power I have not taught it to

play13:34

respond the right way I taught it to

play13:37

only respond the way the situation

play13:41

is and

play13:43

then if life unfolds with the

play13:48

situation which is not the right one for

play13:51

me and that situation needs me to be

play13:55

stable to focus on the solution and to

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radiate power to my family that day I

play14:01

may

play14:04

be because I only responded to what was

play14:08

happening in my life I did not choose my

play14:12

response if I keep throwing back to

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people the energies they are throwing to

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me then I will not be able to create the

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energy I need to give to

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them if a member in my family is

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emotionally in

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pain they're going through a confusion a

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crisis maybe a health issue maybe a work

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related issue maybe a relationship issue

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it's their issue they are going through

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pain what do they need from family and

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friends what do we need that time when

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we are in pain what do we need from

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people around us support what kind of

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support what kind of support I'm going

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through through pain right now I'm very

play15:00

very upset I've been crying for the last

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10 days nothing in my life seems to be

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going right what do I need from family

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and

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friends what do I need from family and

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friends love they all love me they don't

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need to give me love at that time what

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do I need love means what do I need love

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means I need need

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stable stable powerful pure highest

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vibration energy how many of us have the

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power to be most stable when our closest

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family member is in absolute crisis and

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pain because that's what they need that

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time that's what they need that time are

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we able to give that to them that time

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or do we get influenced by what they are

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going through and we start creating our

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own share of pain and because we are in

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pain we can only give pain to them we

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can be sitting next to them as a

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support we're sitting next to them but

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we're giving them only what we are

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feeling

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here and what they needed that time

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was what they needed that time was a

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mind which is calm still full of Faith

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confidence certain that everything will

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be perfect not a mind sitting next to

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them creating doubt fear

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insecurity hurt worry anxiety that's not

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called

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support that's not called support which

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means that situation that day in my life

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will need me to create a response which

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is completely opposite of the situation

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the situation is here at 1 my mind needs

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to be at 10 if I need to give them

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support my life may be perfect but maybe

play17:11

someone around me is not going through a

play17:13

perfect phase in life and I am family

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and friend and support means if they go

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to one I should be at 10 and if I am at

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10 I will be able to pull them out from

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that

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one but if they go to one and I also

play17:29

start going down then what am I going to

play17:31

do to them I will start pulling them

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down even lower than what they are at

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that

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moment but to be able to be stable that

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day when they are in crisis I will have

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to choose a response every day different

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to the quality of my

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situation I cannot suddenly become the

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master of my mind the day of a crisis it

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won't

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happen it won't happen practice of that

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will have to happen

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practice of that will have to happen

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every single day in every situation

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which is not my definition of a perfect

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10 which means the situation could be an

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eight my mind should be a 10 the

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situation could be a five my mind should

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be a 10 the situation could be a one my

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mind should be a 10 only then only then

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am I becoming not just the master of my

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mind I'm also becoming a master of the

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situation I'm also becoming a support

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system for everyone in that situation

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because if I am at 10 I will influence

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others to come towards

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[Music]

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10

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相关标签
Mind MasteryEmotional ControlSelf-ImprovementPersonal GrowthInner StrengthBehavioral InfluenceMindset ShiftEmotional HealthPower of ChoiceSelf-RelianceEmpathyStress Management
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