Why You Care So Much About These 5 Things (and How To Stop)

Summary

In this empowering video, Mel Robbins addresses the common issue of wasting time and energy on uncontrollable aspects of life. She offers a free two-part video training called 'Make It Happen Now' to help viewers regain control, focusing on taking action in areas within their power. Robbins emphasizes the importance of not letting external factors like weather, traffic, or social media dictate one's emotional state, and instead encourages proactive behaviors to achieve personal goals and dreams.

Takeaways

• 😤 Avoid wasting time and energy on things you can't control, like other people's habits or nature's course.
• 🎁 Mel Robbins offers a free two-part video training called 'Make It Happen Now' to help listeners take action towards their goals.
• 🌦️ You can't control the weather, but you can control your reaction to it; use it as an opportunity to practice resilience and discipline.
• 🚗 Waiting in lines or traffic is inevitable, but you can control how you spend that time, turning it into 'found time' for productive activities.
• 📰 You can't control the news headlines, but you can control your consumption and engagement with media to reduce stress and anxiety.
• 👥 The past is unchangeable, but you can control your present actions to create a better future and leave regrets behind.
• 🔮 Worrying about the future is unproductive; focus on present actions that will shape your future positively.
• 💪 Changing your behavior is the best way to show that you've learned from past mistakes and to move forward.
• 🤝 Surround yourself with people who inspire action and positivity, as they can help you make significant life changes.
• 📈 Proactively managing your social media and news consumption can lead to reduced stress and a more focused life.
• 🚀 Taking action is crucial for change; Robbins' training aims to provide the tools to move from thought to execution.

Q & A

What is the main topic discussed in the video script?

The main topic discussed in the video script is the five surprising things that people waste time and energy on, which they cannot control, and how to redirect that energy towards things that truly matter and are within their control.

What is the first thing mentioned that people often waste energy on?

The first thing mentioned is the weather, which people cannot control but often cause mental distress and frustration.

Why does the speaker suggest not to let the weather affect you?

The speaker suggests not to let the weather affect you because it is beyond your control and stressing over it does not change anything, only wasting your mental energy.

What is the 'Make It Happen Now' video training?

The 'Make It Happen Now' video training is a free two-part video training offered by the speaker as a gift to the audience, designed to support them in taking confident, consistent action in their lives.

How can listeners access the 'Make It Happen Now' training?

Listeners can access the 'Make It Happen Now' training by visiting melrobbins.com/makeithappen, which is also provided in the show notes and YouTube description.

What is the second thing discussed that people waste time and energy on?

The second thing discussed is waiting in lines or traffic, which is beyond one's control, but how one spends that time can be controlled.

Why does the speaker say that waiting in line can be an opportunity?

The speaker says that waiting in line can be an opportunity because it provides 'found time' that can be used productively, such as making phone calls, listening to lessons, or practicing patience and gratitude.

What is the third thing mentioned that people often waste energy on?

The third thing mentioned is the headlines or news, which can be overwhelming and stressful, but one can control their headspace by being proactive about the content they consume.

What advice does the speaker give about dealing with uncontrollable elements like traffic?

The speaker advises to view such situations as 'found time' and to use it for productive activities, such as learning a new language with an app, calling a friend, or listening to an audiobook or podcast.

What is the fourth thing discussed that people waste time and energy on?

The fourth thing discussed is the past, which one cannot change or control, but one can control their present actions to move past it.

What does the speaker suggest as the best way to deal with past regrets?

The speaker suggests that the best way to deal with past regrets is to make a change in behavior, to live in a way that makes you feel proud of yourself, proving that you've learned from the past and have moved on.

What is the fifth thing mentioned that people often waste energy on?

The fifth thing mentioned is the future, which one cannot control but can influence by the actions taken in the present.

Why does the speaker encourage focusing on the present rather than worrying about the future?

The speaker encourages focusing on the present because the actions taken today have a direct impact on the future, and worrying about the future is a waste of time and energy that could be better spent on productive activities.

What is the overarching message the speaker wants to convey about time and energy management?

The overarching message is to recognize and stop wasting time and energy on things that are beyond one's control, and instead, focus on what one can control, using that energy for self-improvement, goal achievement, and living a better life.

Outlines

00:00

🤔 Overcoming Uncontrollable Stressors

This paragraph discusses the futility of getting upset over things beyond our control, such as a friend's chronic lateness or a roommate's neglect of chores. The speaker introduces the theme of wasting time and energy on uncontrollable issues and promises to reveal five surprising things we do this with. The introduction of a free two-part video training called 'Make It Happen Now' is presented as a gift to the audience for their support. The training aims to encourage confident and consistent action, and comes with an accompanying workbook. The speaker expresses gratitude for the audience's support and emphasizes the desire to empower them to make positive changes in their lives.

05:03

❄️ The Futility of Controlling the Weather

The speaker illustrates the pointlessness of being affected by uncontrollable elements like the weather. Using personal anecdotes and rhetorical questions, the message is driven home that stressing over weather conditions does not change them and only drains mental energy. The paragraph emphasizes that while we cannot control the weather, we can control our reactions to it. The idea is extended to other situations like a bride or groom worrying about wedding day weather. The speaker encourages seeing bad weather as an opportunity for personal growth and discipline, rather than as an obstacle.

10:05

🚦 Navigating Uncontrollable Wait Times

This paragraph addresses the frustration and energy wasted while waiting in lines or traffic, which are common situations that we cannot control. The speaker uses examples of being stuck in traffic and waiting at the post office to highlight how these moments can be re-framed as 'found time' rather than 'lost time.' Suggestions are made to use this time productively, such as listening to language lessons, calling a friend, or practicing patience. The key message is to take control of our reactions and use the time we have, even if we cannot control the circumstances that cause us to wait.

15:07

📰 Taking Control of Your Headspace Amidst Uncontrollable Headlines

The speaker discusses the impact of media and social media on our mental and emotional energy. It emphasizes the difference between being informed and being overwhelmed by uncontrollable information. The paragraph critiques passive consumption of media and encourages a proactive approach to managing our attention and time. The speaker suggests being selective about who and what we follow on social media to ensure it contributes positively to our lives, rather than causing stress and anxiety.

20:09

🕰️ Proactively Shaping Your Future by Focusing on the Present

The focus of this paragraph is on the inability to control the past and the importance of focusing on the present to shape a better future. The speaker argues that regret and dwelling on the past are unproductive and that the best way to move forward is by making changes in the present. Suggestions include giving oneself credit for personal growth, deciding to live in a way that instills pride, and making decisions that reflect a desire for positive change. The emphasis is on action and behavior change as a testament to learning from the past.

25:10

🛑 The Illusion of Control Over the Future

In this paragraph, the speaker addresses the common issue of worrying about the future, which is beyond our control. It encourages people to stop anxiety-driven worrying and instead focus on proactive behaviors in the present that will influence the future. Examples are given to illustrate how current actions, such as exercising, budgeting, or engaging in meaningful work, are more impactful than worry. The speaker introduces a new free training called 'Make It Happen' designed to help listeners take action and make desired changes in their lives.

30:11

💖 Embracing Love and Belief in Personal Potential

The final paragraph concludes the script with a heartfelt message of love, belief, and encouragement. The speaker reiterates the importance of focusing on controllable aspects of life and taking action to achieve goals. A call to subscribe to the channel is made, emphasizing the support it provides for the creation of free content. The speaker expresses gratitude for the audience's engagement and shares excitement for the impact of the 'Make It Happen' training, urging listeners to share it widely and continue learning about effective time use.

Keywords

💡Control

Control refers to the ability to influence or direct people or events. In the video's theme, it is discussed as an illusion or a limited capability in certain aspects of life, such as the weather or other people's actions. The script emphasizes the importance of focusing on what one can control, like personal reactions and actions, rather than wasting energy on uncontrollable factors.

💡Waste

Waste, in this context, means to use time, energy, or resources without achieving any useful or positive result. The video script talks about wasting time and energy on things that are beyond one's control, suggesting that this is an inefficient use of personal resources that could be better directed towards self-improvement and goal achievement.

💡Emotional Energy

Emotional energy is the psychological and affective capacity one has to deal with situations and emotions. The script mentions that getting upset over uncontrollable aspects of life, such as a roommate's habits or a significant other's snoring, depletes emotional energy that could be conserved for more important matters.

💡Self-improvement

Self-improvement involves the process of personal development and striving to become better in various aspects of life. The video encourages viewers to focus their time and energy on self-improvement rather than on things they cannot control, suggesting that this is a more productive and fulfilling use of personal resources.

💡Passive Consumption

Passive consumption is the act of mindlessly taking in content without actively engaging or interacting with it. The script warns against the pitfalls of passively consuming media, such as social media or news, as it can lead to increased stress and anxiety without any personal benefit.

💡Proactive

Proactive refers to creating or controlling a situation by making things happen rather than just observing or reacting to events. The video script promotes a proactive approach to life, encouraging viewers to take control of their social media feeds, time, and attention to achieve personal goals and aspirations.

💡Stress

Stress is a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or demanding circumstances. The video discusses how stress can be self-inflicted by focusing on uncontrollable elements, such as the weather or traffic, and suggests that redirecting focus to controllable factors can alleviate stress.

💡Regret

Regret is a feeling of sadness or disappointment over something that one wished had done or happened differently. The script mentions that dwelling on past regrets is unproductive and that changing behavior in the present is a more effective way to move on from past mistakes.

💡Future

The future refers to the time yet to come. The video emphasizes that while one cannot control the future, one can influence it by the actions taken in the present. It discourages worrying about the future and encourages proactive behavior to shape a better outcome.

💡Action

Action is the process of doing something rather than merely discussing or thinking about it. The script repeatedly stresses the importance of taking action as the key to making changes in one's life and achieving goals, rather than just passively wishing for them to happen.

💡Present Moment

The present moment is the immediate now, the current period of time as distinguished from the past or the future. The video script encourages living in the present moment and using it as a springboard for positive change, rather than being held back by past regrets or future anxieties.

Highlights

The importance of not wasting time and energy on things you cannot control, such as other people's actions or habits.

The introduction of a free two-part video training called 'Make It Happen Now' as a gift to the audience.

The training's curriculum is backed by science and aims to support taking confident, consistent action in life.

The provision of a workbook filled with exercises to apply the training's lessons to one's life.

The impact of uncontrollable factors like weather on mental and emotional energy, and the advice to not let it affect you.

The opportunity to grow discipline by doing things you don't want to do, such as exercising in the rain.

The difference between being informed and being overwhelmed by news headlines.

The call to be proactive on social media rather than passively consuming content that may cause stress.

The potential negative effects of passive social media use on mental health, as shown by recent studies.

The empowerment to take control of your attention and time by being selective about social media content.

The fourth highlight about not being able to control the past but using the present to move past it.

The idea that changing behavior is the best form of apology and self-forgiveness for past actions.

The encouragement to make decisions that make you proud and prove personal growth beyond past regrets.

The final highlight on not being able to control the future but creating it through present actions.

The emphasis on the importance of present habits in predicting and shaping the future.

The conclusion that self-improvement and working towards personal goals is never a waste of time and energy.

Transcripts

why does this stupid stuff get to us

there's that one friend that's always

late you know that your roommate is not

going to take the trash out they haven't

done it for a year so why do you get

upset when they don't do it you know

that your significant other is going to

start snoring as soon as they fall

asleep so why am I trying to control

this and more importantly why am I

getting upset about it you're wasting

time and energy that you need for the

things in life that are actually

important you're going to learn that

there are five Sur surprising things

that you're wasting time and energy on

right now and these are things that you

cannot control but you act as if you can

everybody does but after today you

won't hey it's your friend Mel I am so

glad that you're here with me today

because we are going to jump into five

things that are kind of surprising and

they are taking up a lot of your mental

and emotional energy and ain't nobody

got time for that you know what I'm

saying you need to know how are you

going to get your time and energy back

and that's what we're going to talk

about today but before we jump into that

discussion I got something so exciting

to share with you it is a gift from me

to you why am I giving you a gift well

because I want to thank you thank you

for being here thank you for supporting

this podcast and me and supporting the

YouTube channel thank you for sharing

these episodes with your friends and

family and people that you love you know

the truth is I'm so moved by your

support of this podcast podcast and what

I'm doing that I am constantly racking

my brain trying to figure out ways that

I can take this Beyond just you

listening and watching and I just want

to do whatever I can to empower you to

take risks and to make the changes that

will make your life better because you

mean the world to me and I want to prove

it to you I know I already show up here

twice a week with new podcast episodes

and every day on YouTube with a new

video but I want to give you more

structured support as a true thank you

which brings me to this exciting gift

that I have for you it's a free two-part

video training called make it happen now

I first announced this training and this

gift on last week's podcast and more

than a hundred, of you have already

signed up and received this gift and are

in the training and just to be clear

this is zero cost you which means it's

free all you got to do is go to

melrobbins.com makei happen the link is

the show notes it is right in the

YouTube description you can be in this

training and get this gift in less than

a minute let me tell you a little bit

about it it is a 2-hour video training

and the curriculum is all back by

science and it is designed with a

singular mission to support you in

taking confident consistent action in

your life because that's how you make

things happen and the training also

comes with a workbook now this workbook

I'm holding it my hand on YouTube so you

can see it it's bright green it's

gorgeous it's filled with exercises

it is over 25 pages long and it's

designed with the latest research to

help you take what you're going to learn

in the make it happen workshop and apply

it to your life how cool is that I love

doing these free trainings because they

change lives and this one is going to

change yours now for the 100,000 of you

that have already signed up for make it

happen I just want to give you a huge

shout out I'm so thrilled to be your

coach and your instructor in this

workshop and I also want to give a shout

out to almost a million of you who took

advantage of the training that I created

and gave to you at the beginning of the

year called best year in my opinion make

it happen this one it's even better why

wouldn't you take this opportunity to

let me support and coach and teach you

so you can make your life better all you

got to do is go to melrobbins.com maketh

happen and it's yours and you know how

I'm always reminding you that these

episodes are free resources that you can

share with your friends and family well

so is this training you're going to want

to share this because when you're

surrounded by friends and family who are

taking consistent confident action and

making big things happen guess what it

helps you make big things happen in your

life too cool awesome here's that link

again melrobbins.com maketh happen can't

wait to see you in the training all

righty now let's talk about those five

things that are taken up way too much of

your mental and emotional energy because

here's the thing when you're trying to

control everything you you can't focus

on anything that's truly important and

the first thing that I want you to stop

wasting mental stress and energy on is

the weather you can't control the

weather but you can control whether or

not it bothers you let me give you an

example so I live in southern Vermont

and it's April technically supposed to

be spring up here my daffodils and

tulips are starting to poke through and

come up and I'm so excited I'm so

excited I put our winter coats away well

guess what happened a few days ago I

woke up and there was freaking snow

outside

oh here's the thing why would you waste

any mental energy on that why cause

stress why get frustrated you can't

control the weather I mean it would have

been easy for me to pull open the shades

and look outside and see my beautiful

flower beds all covered with snow right

and then to start stressing out about

whether or not the bulbs are all trash

and oh my gosh I spent all those money

in those bulbs and nothing they're not

going but here's the

thing does stressing about it change

anything no so why on Earth do you and I

let it affect us now I know it can feel

obvious hearing me say you can't control

the weather because you can't but if

it's so obvious why do we cause oursel

mental distress why do we complain about

it why do we spend time like working

ourselves up you know I'm thinking right

now about how much energy a bride or a

groom Burns through in an entire year as

they think ahead and they worry about

what the weather is going to be on their

wedding day why do that you can't

control it once you have your plan a and

your plan B you're all set so why even

think about it if it rains it rains but

Common Sense isn't so common and the

weather does control you I mean how many

times have you canceled plans or bailed

on a run because bad weather has

affected you and I'm not talking about a

tsunami that's hitting or a situation

that's dangerous I'm talking about

normal predictable seasonal weather that

you can expect you've let a light rain

shower prevent you from going outside

and going on that walk haven't you mhm

yeah the dog can let itself out I'm not

going out in that stuff or heaven forbid

when it's super humid that you leave the

air conditioning in your house you'll

cancel plans like that unless you work

for the Weather Channel you waste way

too much time thinking about it and

being impacted by the weather here's

what I want you to remember a passing

shower isn't going to kill you so don't

let it kill your plans and it also

passes when there's a cloudy or stormy

day my friend Josh says this all the

time you know what still up there above

those stormy clouds a Bright Beautiful

Blue Sky think about that moment on an

airplane plane where you go through the

clouds and then you get up above the

clouds what's always up there a bright

blue

sky bad weather is actually an

opportunity it's an opportunity if you

look at it the right way and you don't

let it control you for you to practice

discipline in fact there's a lot of

science here that I want to share with

you did you know that when you do things

that you didn't want to do like going

outside for that walk even though it's

raining the part of your brain that's

called the anterior mid singulate cortex

gets bigger and when researchers look at

this part of your brain they see it as

the seat of willpower and not just

willpower but the actual will to live

and this is the only part of your brain

that grows by doing things that you

don't want to do and so the weather

isn't something for you to control and

it's not something that should control

what you're doing the weather is an

opportunity for you to grow so the next

time it rains don't complain just do

what you planned on doing go out on that

run take that hike go work in the yard

go walk the dog it's going to help you

it's actually an opportunity to take

control of yourself of your life of your

discipline and for all you brides and

grooms out there who are worried about

the weather the single best wedding that

I was ever at was hit with this epic

rain and hail storm that literally came

out of nowhere it was so big of a storm

storm one of those storms that comes

across the Great Lakes in the midwest

that one of the tents flooded literally

the top of it ripped open and waterfall

onto the dance floor and to this day

Emily Glasser and Billy susman's wedding

30 years later is the single best

wedding I have ever been to the most

memorable the most fun you want to know

why not only because of the bride and

the GR room but because of the storm

maybe what your wedding needs is a good

old-fashioned rainstorm and maybe what

you need is to learn how to run in the

rain because you're bigger than the

weather so stop complaining about it

because you can't control it and that

snow by the way it's cold and tulips

actually love cold weather and they

bloom longer when it's cold so there's

no reason to complain I should be

celebrating about it because you can

control whether or not that whether

bothers you or stops you from doing what

you need to do and now that you know

that you're going to not let that happen

anymore so let's move on to the second

surprising thing that you're wasting

time and energy on and that is you

cannot control the amount of time that

you're forced to wait in line but you

can control what you do with your time

while you're

waiting let's go to an example involving

traffic I want you to think about

sitting in your car you're driving to

work and boom all of a sudden you hit

traffic you may be sitting in traffic

right now as you listen to me and as

you're in traffic you start to get

frustrated don't you you kind of grip

the wheel and then you H and you Haw and

you tense up and you kind of Hit the GPS

and you I should why why do you do that

by the time that you get to work you're

so exhausted because you worked yourself

up you just burn through so much energy

in the car being angry that traffic was

backed up and delayed did any of that

anger and stress help you get to work

faster of course not did it move the

traffic no did it free up a lane no this

is why it's so dumb to allow things that

you can't control to impact you or let's

take another example you're waiting in

line at the post office you got your

arms full of packages that you need to

return it's

2:15 the line is so long you are out

there on your lunch break you're like oh

should I stay should I not so now you've

committed to staying in line and all of

a sudden there's somebody at front and

they're taking so long do you want

insurance with this package honey you're

like oh my God are you kidding me with

this and you're now starting to get

irritated do you need some stamps while

you're here oh my God are they really

going to buy stamps right now we've all

had these

moments oh and then all of a sudden you

get close and what does the clerk do oh

I got to go on my lunch break let me get

somebody to fill in and you're like oh

and these feelings of irritation and

frustration they rise up why because you

feel like you're losing control of your

time you thought this was going to take

5

minutes 15 minutes have passed by I get

it you got somewhere to be you got to

get back to work you squeeze this in on

your lunch break and now your lunch

break is evaporating before your eyes

we've all been there you can't control

when you're going to be forced to wait

in line but you can control what you do

with your time while you're waiting what

if you were to look at this not as some

sort of slight by Society or the post

office or traffic what if you were to

look at this as found time instead of

lost time maybe this is just the

universe giving you time back I mean

let's go back to the traffic example

again you're driving along and all of a

sudden things slow way down as everybody

merges into a on lane road and guess

what's right in front of you a truck of

course and so you're winding and you're

going slow

and in that moment can you control

what's happening no and there's no use

to get yourself all stressed out or

cause yourself some sort of distress in

your mind or start freaking out about it

and there's this great post that's gone

really viral that talks about this exact

moment when you get stuck behind a truck

on a one lane road and you're forced to

slow down it's a cue to

yourself that this truck is sent by a

guardian angel it's slowing you down on

purpose to avid avoid whatever is around

the corner or at your destination or

maybe somewhere along the way that's not

meant for you or that may cause you harm

do you see how that now puts you into

control so as you slow down sip your

coffee and look at this as an

opportunity to be grateful for this time

and to practice having patience and if

it's at night time and this happens just

imagine that this truck is running point

for you lighting up the way isn't that a

beautiful way to take control because

you can't control the times where life

slows you down but you can control what

you do with that time and when you look

at it like a gift you take the control

back and there's so many things you

could do you could turn on Rosetta Stone

one of the sponsors of this podcast and

listen to that french lesson that you

started but you haven't had time to

finish or you could call a friend this

is one of my favorite things to do when

I'm driving handsfree and just talk to

somebody while you're driving behind

that Guardian Angel truck you could

start to see this as not lost time but

time that's been given back to you as an

opportunity you can even do this at the

post office so let's go back to the line

at the post office instead of standing

there getting frustrated and flustered

which only makes you feel like you're

losing control it only makes the time go

by faster what if you use this found

time and you take a moment to text

someone that you've been thinking about

just to say hi you know one goal of mine

this year is to be more closely

connected to my family so I could use

that time waiting in line as a sign from

the universe that I just gained a moment

to reach out to my nephews they were in

a water polo tournament all weekend long

and I want to congratulate them on their

wins how cool is that or have an audio

book or a podcast Like This One queued

up so that you got something that is

your go-to in those moments because you

can't control the time when you're going

to be forced to slow down or to wait but

you can control what you do with your

time while you're waiting so make

something important happen that's what

you can control even if what you make

happen in those moments is just practice

staying calm or being in the moment or

practicing gratitude and the more that

you do that the more you'll realize how

much time and energy you do have at your

disposal to use in small and big ways

and you know what else you have in your

control whether or not it bothers you

when I take a quick pause to go to break

and give a little air time to our

sponsors who bring this podcast you at

zero cost so don't you go anywhere I

know you want to know these three other

things that you can't control and trust

me the next one is a real doozy stay

with me hey it's your friend Mel and

I've been thinking it's time that you

and I take our relationship to the next

level this may be a little bit forward

of me but I've got a gift that I want to

give you I've been working on this for a

little while it's a brand new free

two-part video training that that I

created for you using principles of

physics and Neuroscience and all kinds

of research to help you go from thinking

about what you want to actually making

it happened see I want you to not only

be inspired here on social media I want

you and I to take it to the next level

and get off social media and let me

coach you and teach you on how you yes

you can make the next six months of your

life the best six months of your life

it's not going to happen by accident

it'll happen on purpose homie wants you

to do it too there he is hi you've got a

gift for them too oh my gift is better

cuz it's a free training that'll help

you change your life all you got to do

is go into the comments and type free F

re I'll DM you a link to the training

that's how easy you can make this

training happen last time I did this

last year more than half a million

people accepted this free gift I hope

this year you'll take our relationship

to the next level and let me coach you

on making the next six months of your

life extraordinary let's make it happen

together

welcome back it's your friend Mel and

we're talking about five surprising

things that waste a lot of your time and

energy and how to take your control back

and so I now want to talk about the

third thing that you cannot control that

is taking up a lot of your mental and

emotional energy you cannot control the

headlines but you can control your head

space Mel what are you talking about

well let me tell you there's a big

difference between being informed about

what's going on and getting inundated

with things that are beyond your control

troll that stress you out and freak you

out and I'll tell you something I used

to be really stupid when it came to

social media because I was passive and

I'm going to explain what that means

whatever it was that social media or the

mass media platform was serving up I was

just taking it in oh yeah just serve it

up to me whatever headlines were on the

news that was what was filling my heads

space whatever was dropping into my

social media feeds that was what I was

focused on I'm here to tell you

something enough with that it's time to

take control you have to get proactive

do not be passive about social media you

are handing your attention which is one

of your most precious Commodities away

for free as if it's nothing this is how

you weigh so much time and cause

yourself so much stress if you don't

take control of this your Instagram feed

is going to start looking like the Home

Shopping Network you know what I'm

talking about Tik Tock will become

nothing but celebrity news and

influencers and if you find yourself

mindlessly watching 34 hours of

Television which based on a recent study

is the average amount of time that

Americans watch TV per week and I think

I just heard uh all of you listening in

the other 193 countries where the show

is syndicated go Americans well you also

spend time mindlessly watching TV and

your attention is the single most

important commodity that you have and so

I want to inspire you to get super

proactive about where you direct it

regardless of how much time you're

spending watching TV or wasting it on

social media I mean those 34 hours could

be directed at something that's

important something that matters

something that's going to make your life

better and something that you want to

make happen instead of just mindlessly

passively giving it away that's time you

could use to get your Masters you could

use that to launch a side business you

could use that to get serious about in

past trauma or learning how to be happy

or heck just get to the gym learn how to

cook let me ask you something what's

something that you would love to make

happen in your life are you being

proactive about your time and your

attention I mean just imagine what would

happen if you got super proactive about

using social media to help you get what

you want this goes so far beyond common

sense in fact researchers have found

that people who use social media pass ly

to browse content from other people are

more likely to experience anxiety

depression and stress this is from a new

study out of the UK that was published

in the Journal of behavior and

information technology and the same

study found that if you're proactive

about social media meaning you create

and share your own content without

engaging passively on content with

others and doom scrolling all the time

it has a positive

impact especially on your stress levels

it is so easy to make social media or

the news outlets the villain in your

life

oh but that just gives social media and

the news all the power you keep the

power because you're in control of how

you use these things and I want you to

start using them for Good by getting

proactive and figuring out how you can

take control of this it will support you

in making important things happen in

your own life because it can so how do

you do that you know I remember about 9

years ago when I was first kind of

really getting into the media business I

started following Gary vaynerchuk and

I'll tell you what his content was so

different than anyone else's because

something came alive inside of me and it

became the content that I started

engaging with and it inspired me to

start being more proactive about posting

more content instead of just sitting

there wasting time feeling

and just like getting stressed out and

and procrastinating on social media and

so you can choose who you follow because

remember you can't control the headlines

but you can control your headspace and

you do that by getting very proactive

about who has access to you and who

doesn't and I know you want to do that

because you made the choice to listen to

this podcast a podcast that can help you

create a better life so do that with

your social media accounts unfollow

accounts that that make you feel bad and

start following people and accounts

proactively that make you feel great

about yourself that inspire you to get

proactive and start taking action in

your own life and by the way whoever you

think is spending way too much time on

social media or follows a ton of

influencers or celebrities or accounts

that make them feel bad or you're

worried about them you know send them

this episode because if they won't

listen to you or they don't really think

about it this way maybe listening to

this

conversation will inspire them to take

their attention and time seriously it'll

help them not only think differently but

act differently in this area of your

life and if you're listening to this

right now because your friend or your

mom or your dad or somebody that loves

you sent you this episode I want to tell

you something you are capable of

creating amazing things in your life

take your time

seriously guard your attention like a

hawk and get proactive stop being so

damn passive with social media get

proactive you're learning about the five

things that you can't control that waste

your time and energy and this is a huge

one that does and when you start

directing your time and energy to the

things that you can control like how

you're using social media who gets your

attention how you engage with it holy

cow your stress is going to lower you're

going to get more time back your life is

going to change and we're just into the

first three we're going to take a quick

break to hear a word from our sponsors

I'm going to get proactive about this

and while you're listening take a minute

and share this episode to the person who

needs to hear it and when we come back

I'm going to be waiting for you after a

break we've got two more things that

we're going to cover and these are the

most important in my opinion because

these are the two most

profound surprising places where you're

wasting time and energy and where I want

you to learn how to take control stay

with me oh my God it's spr bring in for

M I'm ready to make something happen AR

you awesome let's spring into action cuz

action's the answer you don't need

motivation you need to know how to make

it happen my free training this year is

about execution I want to teach you the

science the physics the Neuroscience all

the strategies you need to move from

thinking about what you need to do to

springing into action and making cool

stuff happen it's free more than half a

million people have registered do not

miss out on this opportunity to let me

not only inspire you but teach you

what you need to know so that this is

the year that you finally execute on

everything that you've been thinking

about that you deserve to make happen in

your life all right melrobbins.com make

it happen baby boom let's do this

together I can't wait for you to see the

trainings and to experience the workbook

and to see yourself actually doing the

things you want to

[Music]

do welcome back you and I are talking

about the five things that are stealing

time and energy from you and how to take

control and get your power back so that

you can focus your time and energy on

what really matters we're on number four

and here is the fourth thing that you

cannot

control you can't control the past but

you can control what you do in the

present moment to help you move past it

no amount of regret is going to change

the past so all the time that you spend

looking back and beating yourself up

it's just creating unnecessary emotional

and mental

distress yeah you should look back and

learn the lessons that you need to learn

but when it comes to the things that you

truly regret or in my case oo cringe

when you think about from your past the

best apology to other people and the

most powerful form of forgiveness for

yourself is a change in Behavior now

when you change you have proven that

you've learned the lesson and you've

moved on and you've become a better you

and here's how you can do that make a

decision today to start living your life

in a way that makes you feel proud of

yourself because it'll prove that you're

no longer that person that you were in

the past every single moment that you're

looking backwards is wasted and it keeps

you from moving forward the only way to

move on from the things that you regret

is to move forward that's how I did it I

mean there are entire decades that I

regret about my life if you listen to

the episode about the lessons from my

20s you heard about a lot of those

regrets but I'm really proud of who I've

become and what I'm doing in my present

life that's why I don't waste any time

and energy Looking Backward at the past

and you can do the same thing you can

use the present moment to free yourself

from the regrets you have in the past

sitting there and thinking about what

you did wrong or what you wish you had

or hadn't done doesn't do anything but

make you feel bad you can't control the

past but you can control what you do in

the present moment to help you move past

it and here's how you're going to do

that first would you give yourself more

credit because you're not the same

person that you were in the past I mean

look at you heck look at me for crying

out loud I'm no longer that

anxiety-ridden toxic person that I was

in college back then I had no idea what

trauma was that I was a fected by it

that I had experienced it I had no idea

that I had ADHD or anxiety I'd never

been to therapy I didn't even know how

much I was actually suffering I just

thought I was completely screwed up I'm

not that person

anymore and you're not the person you

used to be either so stop looking

backwards look in the mirror look at the

person you are today and please give

yourself more credit and the second

thing I want you to do is ask yourself

this

starting today what changes do you need

to make that would make you really proud

of

yourself maybe you need to get up

earlier maybe today is the day you quit

vaping or maybe it's bringing a more

positive an optimistic mood to your

family or to your roommates or to your

colleagues at work you can control what

you do in the present moment and who you

become and that's what helps you move

past the things that you regret changing

today proves that you're no longer the

person that you used to be and so

starting today I want you to make the

most of your life moving forward that's

how you make big things happen that's

how you create a better future and the

final thing is that you can't control

but it costs you a lot of time and

energy the

future you can't control the future but

you will create it by what you do in the

present the future hasn't happened yet

so you might as well stop worrying about

what's going to happen right now stop

worrying and stressing and being anxious

about your future it is a complete waste

of your time you need to be worried

about what you're doing today besides I

can tell you what's going to happen in

the future I can tell you who you're

going to be in six months from today

based on your habits your friend group

and the social media that you consume

right now that's how important the

present is see what you're doing today

has a bigger impact on the next 6 months

than any amount of worry or anxiety

could ever have so if you're sitting

there worried about your parents dying

like so many of you are have you called

them today if you're sitting there

worried about what you're going to look

like on your summer vacation have you

exercised today you're worried about

retiring have you even done a budget

instead of watching other people's

YouTube channels today could be the day

you start yours and you make it happen

instead of wishing the weight would

magically fall off by your vacation

today could be the day you make a plan

and make it happen instead of hoping

that you'll get a promotion in the

future today could be the day that you

schedule a meeting with your supervisor

about what you need to do in order to

make that happen in the next six months

see the next six months are coming

whether you do something different or

not and I'm here to tell you you don't

need to worry about your future because

your day-to-day life already predicts

what it's going to look like so unless

unless you start doing something

different today we already know what's

going to happen so stop worrying stop

feeling anxious and let's get proactive

let's define what you want and then

let's make it happen let's get started

today and you know what I'd like to help

you do that I mentioned this at the top

but now let me tell you a little bit

more about this brand new free training

for you because getting started and

taking action and being proactive uh

that's what I'm going to teach you to do

that's why I designed this training

called make it Happ happen because it is

easy to talk about what you want to do

it's hard to actually do it and nothing

in your life is going to change until

you start taking action and you make it

change and I have already said this but

it Bears repeating I am so moved by your

support of this podcast that I am

constantly trying to go beyond just

having you listen or watching an

experience with me I really do mean it I

don't want you to waste any more time

and energy on these five stupid things I

want to do whatever I can to empower you

to direct your attention and your time

and your energy toward things that

matter I want you to take risks and make

the changes that make your life better

and I don't care where you're listening

to me right now or what you're facing

the fact is you can make amazing things

happen right now you're part of a global

community of listeners of people that

are doing amazing things your fellow

listeners are winning Emmys for their

work on shows like Bridgerton they're

launching YouTube channels they're

finishing their manuscripts they're

getting their first book published

they're creating life after divorce

they're losing a 100 pounds they're

moving across the world and taking that

trip and making big risks and you've

heard me say this if you can Define it

you can make it happen if you're willing

to work work for it and now you know

five things that are beyond your control

that are a waste of your time and energy

you want to know what is never a waste

of your time and energy your own

self-improvement your own goals your own

dreams and that's why this new two-part

training is going to guide you in

defining what you want and making it

happen I don't want you to waste your

life being passive let's get proactive

don't waste 34 hours a week watching TV

you can invest two hours with me and get

started today and you now know how

important today is when it comes to what

the next six months of your life look

like nearly a million of you downloaded

the guide that I created to help you

make 2024 one of the best years of your

life and if you love that free training

ho Mel outd her to sell for you this

time this one's going to blow you away

just go to melrobbins.com

happen it is 2 hours of brand new

premium video content the curriculum is

backed by science and there is a free

workbook that is included that's 25

pages long to help you go deeper and

make this stick and it's all there for

you why wouldn't you take this

opportunity to let me your friend Mel

Robbins help you support you coach you

teach you and making something awesome

happen because what you do to today has

a bigger impact on the next 6 months of

your life than any amount of worry or

anxiety or beating yourself up ever will

so let's stop that Tom Foolery right now

and let's get into action just go to

melrobbins.com maketh happen and by the

way will you be generous with that link

can you share this with absolutely

everyone that you know because when you

surround yourself with other people that

are making big things happen it helps

you make big things happen too and I

want that for you and by the way I can't

wait to see you in the training and I

can't wait to see what you create in

your life with this additional support

for me and my team and in case no one

else tells you today let me be the first

to tell you that I love you I believe in

you I believe in your ability to protect

your time and your energy to focus on

what you can control and to do what it

takes to make big things happen and

create a better life now go do it and

for you on YouTube I want to tell you in

case no one else tells you today let me

be the first to tell you that I love you

and I believe in you and I believe in

your ability to create a better life and

now you got this training so don't you

dare not take advantage of this thing I

created this for you all righty and one

more thing I want to ask you because

this hopefully I can't control this but

I can control whether or not I asked for

it would you please subscribe to this

channel like literally you can tell I

pour my heart and soul into this stuff

for you and you subscribing to this

Channel it really helps support the work

that we're doing and it helps me bring

you free trainings and free videos every

single day a new video so thank you

thank you thank you for hitting

subscribe thank you for jumping into the

training and for sharing this with

everybody that you know and I know

you're not thinking okay Mel enough

please tell me what to watch next you

got it you just learned the five

surprising things you can't control how

to get time and energy back and with all

that time that you just got back now

that you're no longer kind of free weing

out and trying to control things I want

you to keep learning and getting the

facts about how you spend your time and

you are going to love this next episode

it's all about time and where your time

is going and here's what it's called

this one study will change how you think

about your entire life check it

out