"The Fastest Way To Build Self-Confidence"
Summary
TLDRThis script discusses the journey to genuine confidence, contrasting indirect behaviors that seek external validation with a direct approach that builds self-assurance. It highlights how people often focus on others' perceptions to feel confident, either by seeking validation or avoiding judgment. The speaker advocates for a direct path to confidence, urging individuals to define a core vision, leverage their strengths, and make decisions aligned with their goals. This strategy leads to tangible achievements and a self-sustained confidence, independent of external opinions.
Takeaways
- 😊 Confidence often falters because of the indirect ways we try to build it.
- 🤔 There are two paths to confidence: the indirect and the direct approach.
- 🙃 The indirect approach involves acting toward others to seek validation or avoid judgment.
- 💼 Seeking validation through hard work, overpromising, or asking for opinions are common indirect behaviors.
- 😓 Another indirect approach is avoiding judgment by staying silent, procrastinating, or avoiding delegation.
- 🚫 Both indirect behaviors are attempts to manage others' perceptions rather than build real confidence.
- 🏁 The fastest way to build confidence is to focus on the direct path.
- 🎯 Direct confidence comes from focusing on one core vision or result that's most important to you.
- 🛠 Align your actions and behaviors with this vision, building skills and competencies toward it.
- 💪 Over time, following the direct path leads to real achievements and lasting confidence.
Q & A
What are the two ways to build confidence mentioned in the script?
-The two ways to build confidence mentioned are the direct way and the indirect way.
What is the indirect way of building confidence, and how does it manifest?
-The indirect way of building confidence involves putting energy and attention into acting towards others to get them to act in a way that makes you feel confident. It manifests through behaviors like seeking validation or reassurance, overpromising, asking for opinions when capable of making decisions, or interrupting others to show off knowledge.
How does the indirect way of building confidence differ from the direct way?
-The indirect way focuses on managing other people's perceptions of oneself, whereas the direct way focuses on building real confidence through actions that align with one's core vision and goals.
What are some examples of indirect behaviors that people might engage in to avoid feeling judged?
-Examples include not speaking up with good ideas in meetings, procrastinating to avoid putting work out for comment, and not delegating to stay in the details rather than strategic thinking.
What is the fastest way to build confidence according to the script?
-The fastest way to build confidence is by going direct, focusing on one's core vision, and taking actions that contribute to making that vision happen.
Why is focusing on a core vision important for building confidence?
-Focusing on a core vision helps in articulating what is most important for oneself and the team, which in turn aligns actions with goals and builds real confidence through tangible accomplishments.
How can one resist the temptation of indirect path behaviors?
-One can resist the temptation of indirect path behaviors by immediately calling to mind the core vision and choosing behaviors that contribute most to achieving that vision.
What are the benefits of building real confidence instead of borrowing it?
-Building real confidence allows for self-reliance and authentic self-worth, eliminating the need to seek external validation or reassurance.
How does the script suggest one should react when feeling the urge to worry about others' opinions?
-The script suggests that when feeling the urge to worry about others' opinions, one should instead focus on their core vision and the actions necessary to achieve it.
What is the role of skills and competencies in building direct path confidence?
-Skills and competencies play a crucial role in the direct path to confidence by enabling quicker progress towards one's vision and goals, thus fostering a sense of accomplishment and self-assurance.
Outlines
🌟 Building Genuine Confidence
The paragraph discusses the common struggle with confidence and introduces two methods to build it: direct and indirect. It explains that many people unknowingly use indirect methods, which involve seeking validation or reassurance from others to feel competent or to avoid judgment. Examples include working excessively for recognition, overpromising, seeking opinions when capable of deciding, or interrupting to showcase knowledge. These behaviors are contrasted with the direct approach, which is suggested as the faster way to build real confidence. The direct approach involves focusing on a core vision, articulating it clearly, and aligning one's actions with achieving that vision. The speaker encourages individuals to replace indirect behaviors with actions that contribute to their vision, thereby building true confidence through accomplishments rather than borrowed validation.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Confidence
💡Indirect behaviors
💡Direct behaviors
💡Validation
💡Procrastination
💡Vision
💡Borrowed confidence
💡Reassurance
💡Self-assurance
💡Accomplishments
Highlights
People often struggle with confidence despite trying to appear confident.
There are two ways to build confidence: direct and indirect.
Indirect behaviors involve acting in ways to influence others' actions towards you.
The first indirect behavior is seeking validation or reassurance from others.
Examples of seeking validation include staying late at work for recognition or overpromising on tasks.
The second indirect behavior is acting to avoid judgment or disapproval.
Avoiding judgment might manifest as not speaking up in meetings or procrastinating.
Indirect behaviors are efforts to borrow or protect confidence rather than building it.
The direct path to building confidence involves focusing on a core vision.
Spend time articulating a clear and engaging vision for yourself and your team.
Identify the benefits and strengths that align with your vision.
Whenever tempted by indirect behaviors, recall your vision and choose actions that support it.
Focus on behaviors that contribute to your vision and building necessary skills.
Direct path behaviors lead to real accomplishments and genuine confidence.
The fastest way to build confidence is through direct actions towards your vision.
Transcripts
people often ask me how can I be
confident when I don't feel confident
first let's go over the ways that you've
been trying to be confident because it's
probably what's keeping you unconfident
and then I'll show you how to build real
confidence see there's two ways to build
confidence there's the direct way and
the indirect way many people do the
indirect way let's take a look at this
diagram the indirect behaviors are when
you put put your energy and attention
into acting towards other people in
order to get other people to act towards
you so that you can be here confident
there's two kinds of indirect behaviors
see if you recognize yourself in either
of them in the first one you put your
energy and attention into getting other
people to validate or reassure you then
you can feel competent or valued in your
position common behaviors might be you
stay really late at the office or work
really hard and are hoping for that Pat
on on the back from the boss or you
overpromise what you can deliver or when
you can deliver it so that people will
think well of you or you ask other
people for their opinions even when
you're equipped to make the decision or
you interrupt others to show how much
you know see those kinds of indirect
behaviors are your efforts to borrow
Confidence from the way that other
people think about you here's the second
kind of indirect Behavior see if you
feel shaky in your confidence then you
need to act towards other people people
in a way to get them to act towards you
so that you won't feel judged or
disapproved of that way you can at least
hold on to the confidence that you have
common examples might be you have a
really good idea in a meeting but you
don't speak up with it you procrastinate
so as not to put your work out there for
comment or you don't delegate you stay
mired in the details and at the Tactical
level rather than bold strategic
thinking these indirect behaviors are
your efforts to either bar confidence or
to protect what you have but in either
case you're putting your energy and
attention into managing other people's
perceptions of you rather than building
real confidence which is what you want
what's the fastest way to build
confidence you got it it's the direct
path go
direct and here's how you want to take
all the directions that you're going in
and boil them down into one main result
that you want one core Vision that is
the most important for you and your team
really spend time articulating this it's
well worth it what excites and engages
you about this Vision what benefits will
it bring to your life when you start to
see the results of it what strengths and
talents do you have to make that Vision
happen then whenever you're tempted to
do an indirect path Behavior or whenever
you're tempted to worry about what other
people are thinking immediately call to
mind that vision and choose the behavior
that will most contribute in that moment
to you making that Vision happen
building the skills and competencies
that will help you get there quicker or
feeling passionate and engaged about
your vision within a short time of doing
direct path behaviors you will have real
accomplishments in your career you won't
need to borrow confidence anymore you'll
have the real deal
remember the fastest way to build
confidence is to go Direct
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