The Art of Effective Communication | Marcus Alexander Velazquez | TEDxWolcottSchool
Summary
TLDRThe speaker emphasizes the significance of effective communication, defined as the successful delivery and understanding of information. They illustrate the drawbacks of ineffective communication, such as wasted time and emotions, and the potential for misunderstandings leading to relationship breakdowns. The talk advocates for directness, simplicity, and humility in communication, highlighting the importance of defining terms and ensuring the audience's understanding. The speaker also stresses the role of trust and reputation in effective communication, concluding that it can save time, emotions, and relationships.
Takeaways
- 🤝 Effective communication is about delivering information in a way that it is received and understood by the audience.
- 🎨 Communication is an art form that requires being present, adjusting as necessary, and navigating through unexpected questions or comments.
- ⏱ Ineffective communication leads to wasted time and emotions, and can result in misunderstandings and the loss of relationships.
- 🌐 No two conversations are the same due to the unique backgrounds and perspectives of each individual involved.
- 📣 The speaker's job is to ensure the message is received and understood, removing any hindrances such as extra words, stories, or emotions.
- 💬 Talking for too long can be an emotional burden and hinders the audience's ability to receive the message effectively.
- 🔍 Defining terms is crucial to avoid confusion and ensure that both parties have a common understanding of the concepts being discussed.
- 🎯 Knowing the end goal of the communication is essential to focus the message and ensure it aligns with what the audience should receive.
- 🧘♂️ Humility is key in effective communication, acknowledging that one can be wrong and focusing on the audience's understanding rather than personal correctness.
- 🔑 Trust is a fundamental aspect of communication; without it, the audience is less likely to receive the message positively.
- 👂 Active listening is a critical part of two-way communication, showing respect to the speaker and being prepared to understand their message.
Q & A
What is the main theme of the speaker's talk?
-The main theme of the speaker's talk is the art of effective communication, emphasizing the importance of delivering information in a way that is received, understood, and can be relayed by the audience.
Why is effective communication considered an art?
-Effective communication is considered an art because it requires being in the zone, adjusting as necessary, and navigating through conversations with flexibility, similar to creating a painting or performing a dance.
What are some negative consequences of ineffective communication mentioned in the script?
-Wasted time, wasted emotions, and misunderstandings that could lead to the loss of relationships are mentioned as negative consequences of ineffective communication.
How does the speaker relate effective communication to a mathematical phrase?
-The speaker relates effective communication to the mathematical phrase about the shortest distance between two points being a straight line, emphasizing the importance of direct and to-the-point communication.
What does the speaker suggest is a key attribute for effective communication?
-The speaker suggests that humility is a key attribute for effective communication, as it involves being open to the possibility of being wrong and focusing on the audience's understanding rather than one's own perspective.
Why is defining terms important in communication according to the speaker?
-Defining terms is important in communication to avoid confusion and ensure that both parties have the same understanding of the concepts being discussed.
What does the speaker advise to do before starting a conversation?
-The speaker advises to know the end goal of the conversation, which is the information or message that the speaker wants the audience to receive.
How does the speaker use the TV show 'The Office' as an example in the talk?
-The speaker uses a scene from 'The Office' where Michael Scott rambles without a clear point to illustrate the ineffectiveness of communication when it lacks focus and clarity.
What does the speaker mean by 'it's not what you say but how you say it' and then adds a third layer to this concept?
-The speaker initially acknowledges the common saying about the importance of how information is delivered, but then adds that it's also crucial to consider the source's trustworthiness, emphasizing that actions either promote or nullify the words spoken.
What role does trust play in effective communication as per the speaker's perspective?
-Trust plays a significant role in effective communication as the audience is more likely to receive and understand the message if they trust the speaker, which is closely tied to the speaker's reputation and actions.
How does the speaker describe the process of adjusting during a conversation?
-The speaker describes the process of adjusting during a conversation as being similar to an artist making spontaneous yet appropriate changes during the creation of a painting, emphasizing the importance of being present and adaptable.
Outlines
🗣️ The Art of Effective Communication
The speaker initiates the talk by engaging the audience with questions about their experiences in conversations, highlighting the importance of effective communication. Effective communication is defined as the successful delivery and understanding of information by the audience. The speaker emphasizes that communication is not just about speaking but also about being understood and the ability to relay the information to a third party. The talk also touches on the consequences of ineffective communication, such as wasted time, emotional strain, and potential misunderstandings leading to relationship losses. The speaker's personal experience in sharing his Christian faith with diverse individuals underscores the uniqueness of each conversation and the necessity to adapt and navigate through various interactions.
💬 Simplicity and Directness in Communication
This paragraph delves into the importance of brevity and clarity in communication to avoid becoming an emotional burden on the listener. The speaker humorously introduces the concept of 'diarrhea of the mouth,' a metaphor for excessive and pointless talking. The paragraph stresses the value of direct communication, using the mathematical principle of the shortest distance between two points being a straight line as an analogy. It also discusses the significance of defining terms to avoid confusion and the importance of understanding one's message before attempting to convey it to others. The speaker uses a humorous reference to the TV show 'The Office' to illustrate the point that rambling communication can be ineffective and potentially alienating.
🔐 Trust and Humility in Effective Communication
The final paragraph focuses on the role of trust in communication, asserting that without trust, the speaker's words may not be heeded. The speaker discusses the impact of one's reputation on the effectiveness of communication and the importance of actions aligning with words. The paragraph also emphasizes the importance of humility in communication, suggesting that recognizing one's fallibility and focusing on the audience's needs can enhance the effectiveness of the message. The speaker concludes by reiterating the benefits of effective communication, such as saving time, emotions, and relationships, and encourages active listening as a key component of the communication process.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Effective Communication
💡Art
💡Wasted Time
💡Misunderstandings
💡Humility
💡Diarrhea of the Mouth
💡Simplicity
💡Defining Terms
💡End Goal
💡Trust
💡Active Listening
Highlights
The importance of effective communication is introduced through interactive questions with the audience.
Effective communication is defined as the successful delivery and understanding of information by the audience.
The analogy of computer programming is used to illustrate the pointlessness of unreceived or misunderstood information.
The concept of communication as an art form is introduced, emphasizing the need for adaptability and presence in conversations.
The consequences of ineffective communication, such as wasted time and emotions, are discussed.
The potential for misunderstandings leading to the loss of relationships is highlighted.
The speaker's personal experience in sharing his Christian faith and the uniqueness of each conversation is shared.
The necessity of adjusting communication to ensure the message is received and understood is emphasized.
The removal of unnecessary words, stories, and emotions from speech to enhance effective communication is suggested.
A humorous analogy of 'diarrhea of the mouth' is used to describe excessive talking without making a point.
The mathematical principle of the shortest distance between two points is applied to the concept of direct communication.
Albert Einstein's quote on simplicity in explanation is referenced to stress the importance of clear communication.
The necessity of defining terms to avoid confusion in communication is discussed.
The Office TV show is humorously referenced to illustrate ineffective communication in everyday life.
Humility is identified as a key component of effective communication, including the willingness to be wrong and focus on the audience.
The importance of trustworthiness in communication is emphasized, noting that actions can either promote or nullify words.
Active listening as part of effective communication is stressed, advocating for giving full attention and respect to the speaker.
The benefits of effective communication, such as saving time, emotions, and potentially relationships, are summarized.
The speech concludes with a reminder of the value of effective communication and a note of thanks to the audience.
Transcripts
I want to start off my talk this evening
by asking a few questions if any of
these questions apply to you please
kindly raise your hand
question number one have any of you here
ever felt like you've been held hostage
in a conversation before you may lower
your hands thank you
question number two have any of you here
ever been part of a conversation where
you know the person talking could have
said what they needed to say much faster
and with many fewer words this is my
last question this is going to tell me
how honest and real of an audience you
guys are this evening how many of you
have been the person in a conversation
talking way longer than you needed to be
a couple you got shy with that last
question well the title of my talk this
evening is the art of effective
communication and I want to define those
terms communication can be simply
defined as the delivering of information
now effective communication is when that
information is actually received by your
audience because it doesn't matter how
great your delivery is your
communication is ineffective if the
information isn't actually received by
your audience and I'll take it a step
further not only should information be
received by your audience but it also
needs to be understood by your audience
here's an example let's say I put you in
front of a computer on that computer
screen as a bunch of computer
programming if you're not a computer
programmer that information makes no
sense to you
so although the information has been
delivered without understanding the
information in front of you that
information is useless and I want to
take it a step further I truly believe
that communication is mostly effective
when your audience is able to take the
information that you've given them and
then relay it to another third party
because that shows you that they truly
got it they truly receive the
information and they truly understood it
to the point where they're able to share
it with someone else now I want to
define art art is really it's going with
the flow
it's being in the zone it's being
present and adjusting as necessary
because you can have all the structure
in the world but you have to learn how
to navigate through conversations you
may need to navigate through questions
or rebuttals or comments that you may
never have heard before and
communication really is an art form
it's like a song-and-dance communication
kind of reminds me of painting a
painting let's say your original idea
was to make a left stroke with the color
orange but in the middle of the process
you decide that a right stroke with the
color yellow is more appropriate it's
about being in the zone and adjusting as
necessary so why should we even care
about effective communication well we
should care about effective
communication because these are some of
the results of ineffective communication
number one on the list is wasted time we
waste so much time due to ineffective
communication and I highly doubt anyone
here wants to waste their time on
purpose secondly we also waste emotions
to see along with wasted time
conversations dragged on much longer
than they need to and with that our
emotions dragged on much longer than
they need to see ineffective
communication also leads to
misunderstandings and misunderstandings
could lead to the eventual loss of
relationships
has anyone ever lost a relationship due
to a misunderstanding so you see the
need for effective communication now I'm
not here to proselytize but outside of
this forum I share my Christian faith a
lot and over the years in doing so I've
literally had thousands of conversations
with thousands of different people and
these people are from every background
and walk of life you can imagine and you
know what I've learned from that
experience no two conversations are ever
the same and that's because no two
people are ever the same now there may
be similarities but you will never find
a carbon-copy conversation so you have
to learn how to navigate through
questions and rebuttals you may need to
explain an idea in a different way if
your audience didn't receive it the
first time so your job is a
Euna cater is to deliver a message and
make sure that message is received and
understood by your audience point-blank
that's it
anything that stops or hinders your
audience from receiving that information
it needs to be removed from your speech
and this includes removing things like
extra words extra stories and even extra
emotions see one of the biggest
hindrances to effective communication is
talking for way longer than we need to
and this is not only because we're
dealing with people's short attention
spans but when you talk longer than
necessary you become an emotional burden
have you ever felt drained after having
a conversation with someone no that's no
one here right I'm talking to a
different audience you feel drained and
see this brings up a very serious issue
there are people out there that suffer
from a very serious disease and you in
the audience you may know someone who
suffers from this disease and this
disease is commonly known as diarrhea of
the mouth where it feels like a dam just
broken the floodwaters are gushing out
these people will literally use just
about every word in the English language
and yet make no point oh it's a problem
see problems arise when communication
and conversations become more about the
person wanting to be heard than actually
delivering information now there's a
mathematical phrase that says the
shortest distance between two points is
a straight line
now this can refer to direct
communication because after all a
straight line gets straight to the point
not giving third-party comments and
hoping that your message gets across to
your audience here's an example let's
say you're angry at someone instead of
directly telling them that you're angry
instead of directly telling them why
you're angry and potentially sitting
down and coming to a peaceful resolution
you may give them the cold shoulder you
might leave their texts on read I can't
stay
that by the way you might huff and puff
when you're around them and slam doors
not that any of you here have ever done
that but we do all these things hoping
that this message will get across that
they'll understand that I'm mad at them
instead of directly telling them that
I'm mad at them see when you speak you
need to understand that simplicity is
key Albert Einstein once said that if
you can't explain it simply you don't
understand it well enough I'll say that
again Albert Einstein once said that if
you can't explain it simply you don't
understand it well enough now one of the
biggest things is defining your terms
defining your terms is huge and this is
why you can end up using the same word
as someone else and having different
definitions as to what that word means
and one of the best ways to clear this
up is by asking the following question
what does that mean to you what does
that word mean to you what does that
phrase mean to you what does that
sentence mean to you because that will
clear up confusion now before you start
you need to know what your end goal is
what do I want my audience to receive
what's the information or message that I
want them to receive you know I'm a huge
fan of the TV show the office we have
any office Branson here yeah my people I
love it so writing the speech reminded
me of a scene from The Office there's a
scene where Michael Scott is talking to
his boss David Wallace David wants to
know why his branch is so successful and
Michael says David my philosophy is
basically this don't ever for any reason
under any circumstance whatsoever and
he's literally just rambling on and on
and later on he goes to be interviewed
by the camera and he says sometimes I'll
start a sentence and I don't even know
where it's going I just hope I find it
along the way now that's funny
on TV not so much when we're dealing
with people one-on-one in the real world
I truly feel that one of the biggest
things if not the biggest thing that
effective communication requires is the
following humility
humility is key when it comes to
effective communication and there are
really two keys to humility number one
is that you can always be wrong you can
always be wrong when you understand that
you can always be wrong you can still
present confidently but when you
understand that you can be wrong you are
then willing and able to listen to
opposing viewpoints listening to other
people's opinions listening to other
people's arguments and their facts the
second key to humility is this it is not
about you it's about your audience see
when you understand that it's not about
you and it's about your audience you
will then present information the best
way that your audience will receive it
not necessarily the way you think it
best sounds now there's three things I
want to point out two of them you might
be familiar with already you may have
heard it said it's not what you say but
it's how you say it well guess what it
is what you say you have to know what
you're talking about one of the worst
things is being a part of a conversation
listening to someone talk about
something you know they know nothing
about and secondly it is how you say a
tone allottee matters you know if you're
speaking to someone with a harsh or
abrasive tone if you're angry or
condescending towards them or any number
of negative tones that will hinder your
audience from receiving your message and
I want to add a third layer to this
because it's not just what is said or
how it's said but the third layer is
this is what's being said coming from a
trustworthy source see Trust is a big
part of communication if your audience
doesn't trust you then your words will
fall on deaf ears and it's really
interesting how reputation ties into
this because see if your reputation is a
hot mess no one will listen to a word
you say and why should they
why should anyone listen to the words
you say when your life speaks a
different message contrary to what
you're preaching and if you're taking
notes this evening I want you to write
this down because I want you
take this home your actions will either
promote or nullify your words I'll say
that again your actions will either
promote or nullify your words see direct
communication and effective
communication is a two-way street what
do I mean by that that means that if
you're not the one speaking and
communicating you should be actively
listening you shouldn't focus on more
than one thing at a time and you should
give your focus your attention and your
respect to the speaker the same way you
would want it if you were the one
speaking see effective communication
saves time it saves emotions and it can
quite possibly save relationships aren't
these things worth saving thank you guys
for your time
[Applause]
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