10 Behaviors that Destroy Relationships
Summary
TLDRIn this Psych2Go video, Amanda discusses 10 behaviors that can damage relationships, such as stonewalling, being too distracted, getting defensive, excessive criticism, idealizing a partner, ignoring past issues, misleading, creating competition, shaming, and expecting too much. The video emphasizes the importance of addressing these issues to maintain a healthy and trusting relationship.
Takeaways
- 💬 Communication is crucial in relationships, and avoiding difficult conversations, known as stonewalling, can lead to unresolved issues.
- 📱 Being too distracted during quality time with your partner can make them feel unimportant and neglected.
- 🛡 Defensiveness during communication can stop you from listening to your partner's concerns and may lead to ignoring the real problem.
- 🗣️ Excessive criticism can create a negative dynamic in a relationship and cause frustration for your partner.
- 🏰 Idealizing your partner by holding them to high, unrealistic standards can damage the relationship by not appreciating them for who they truly are.
- 🔍 Ignoring your past, both good and bad, can overlook significant moments in your relationship and hinder growth.
- 🤥 Misleading or deceiving your partner can destroy trust, which is a fundamental aspect of a relationship.
- 🏁 Creating competition within a relationship can lead to tension, stress, and resentment instead of fostering a supportive environment.
- 😳 Shaming your partner in public can be damaging to the relationship and put your partner in an uncomfortable situation.
- 🤔 Expecting too much from your partner, such as mind-reading, is unfair and can lead to misunderstandings and relationship strain.
- 🗣️ Expressing your needs and desires is essential; relying on your partner to guess your thoughts can cause frustration and a breakdown in communication.
Q & A
What is the main topic of the video script?
-The main topic of the video script is the behaviors that can damage relationships and the importance of addressing these behaviors to maintain a healthy relationship.
What is the first behavior mentioned in the script that can damage a relationship?
-The first behavior mentioned is stonewalling, which involves avoiding difficult questions and conversations with your partner.
Why is it important to avoid stonewalling in a relationship?
-Avoiding stonewalling is important because it prevents the harboring of unresolved issues, which are crucial for the health of a relationship.
How does being too distracted affect a relationship?
-Being too distracted can make your partner feel ignored or neglected, as they may not feel like they have your undivided attention during quality time together.
What is the impact of defensiveness on communication within a relationship?
-Defensiveness can be destructive to a relationship as it stops one from listening to their partner's concerns and instead focuses on self-protection, often leading to arguments or ignoring the real problem.
Why is excessive criticism harmful to a relationship?
-Excessive criticism can create a negative dynamic in a relationship, making it difficult to focus on the positive aspects and driving a wedge between partners.
What does the script suggest about idealizing your partner?
-The script suggests that idealizing your partner, or holding them to a high standard that may not be realistic, can damage the relationship by projecting your own preferences onto them rather than accepting them as they are.
Why is it important to acknowledge both the good and bad history of a relationship?
-Acknowledging the history of a relationship, including its bumps and rough patches, is important because it shapes the way partners feel about each other and helps to understand the present state of the relationship.
What is the harm in misleading your partner?
-Misleading your partner through lies and manipulation can destroy trust, which is a fundamental aspect of any relationship.
How does creating competition in a relationship affect its health?
-Creating competition in a relationship can lead to tension, stress, and resentment, as partners may focus on proving each other wrong rather than working together to find solutions and compromises.
What is the potential damage of shaming your partner in public?
-Shaming your partner in public can damage the relationship by making your partner feel uncomfortable and embarrassed, which is different from playful teasing in private.
Why is it unfair to expect your partner to know what you want without expressing it?
-It is unfair because it places an unrealistic burden on your partner to read your mind. Communication is key in a relationship, and expressing your needs and thoughts is essential for mutual understanding.
What does the script suggest as a way to improve relationship communication?
-The script suggests that instead of being defensive or critical, one should focus on active listening, expressing concerns openly, and working towards compromise to improve relationship communication.
How can the behaviors listed in the script be addressed to prevent relationship damage?
-The behaviors can be addressed by being self-aware, engaging in open and honest communication, and taking responsibility for one's actions to foster a healthier and more understanding relationship.
Outlines
💔 Top 10 Behaviors That Damage Relationships
Amanda from Psych2Go discusses the common behaviors that can lead to the deterioration of relationships. She emphasizes the importance of addressing issues directly rather than avoiding them, as stonewalling can lead to unresolved problems. Being too distracted during quality time with a partner can make them feel unimportant or neglected. Defensiveness during communication can halt the listening process and prevent the resolution of issues. Excessive criticism can create a negative environment and overshadow the positive aspects of a partner. Idealizing a partner by holding them to unrealistic standards can also be harmful. Ignoring past relationship issues can prevent learning and growth. Misleading or deceiving a partner can erode trust, which is fundamental to a relationship. Creating competition within the relationship can lead to tension and resentment. Shaming a partner, especially in public, can be damaging to their self-esteem and the relationship. Lastly, expecting a partner to know one's thoughts and desires without communication can set the relationship up for misunderstandings and disappointment.
🗣️ Communication and Expectations in Relationships
The second paragraph continues the discussion on relationship dynamics, focusing on the importance of clear communication and reasonable expectations. It points out the unfairness of expecting a partner to intuitively know one's desires or thoughts, stressing that it is the individual's responsibility to express their needs. The paragraph advises against placing an unrealistic burden on partners to 'read minds,' as this can lead to the gradual collapse of a relationship. It invites viewers to share their experiences with these behaviors in the comments and encourages engagement with the Psych2Go channel for more psychological insights.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Stonewalling
💡Undivided Attention
💡Defensiveness
💡Criticism
💡Idealizing
💡Ignoring the Past
💡Misleading
💡Competition
💡Shaming
💡Expectations
Highlights
Ongoing support from viewers helps make psychology and mental health more accessible.
Relationships can be complicated and fragile, with small mistakes capable of destroying years of love, passion, and trust.
Stonewalling, or avoiding difficult questions and conversations, can harbor unresolved issues in a relationship.
Quality time is essential; partners should feel important and not be ignored or neglected.
Communication is key, and defensiveness when receiving negative feedback can be destructive to a relationship.
Excess criticism can create a negative dynamic and cause partners to lose sight of their love for each other.
Idealizing a partner by projecting preferences onto them can damage the relationship.
Ignoring a troubled past can destroy a relationship, as history shapes feelings and understanding between partners.
Deception and dishonesty can ruin the trust built in a relationship.
Healthy relationships do not involve keeping score or creating competition, which leads to tension and resentment.
Publicly shaming a partner can damage a relationship, contrasting with playful teasing in private.
Expecting too much from a partner, such as mind-reading, is unfair and can lead to relationship deterioration.
It's crucial to vocalize desires and not rely on partners to magically know what is wrong.
The video invites viewers to share their experiences with destructive behaviors in the comments section.
Psych2Go encourages viewers to like and subscribe for more psychology content.
Transcripts
(bright acoustic music)
- [Amanda] Hello, Psych2Goers,
and welcome back to our channel.
We wanted to let you know
that it is your ongoing support
that helps us make psychology and mental health
more accessible to everyone.
Thank you so very much for all of your support.
Now, let's continue.
Why do relationships fall apart?
Relationships are complicated as they are fragile.
Small mistakes can destroy years of love, passion and trust,
but you may not realize what you're doing wrong.
So here are 10 behaviors that can damage any relationship
and may be affecting yours too.
Number one, you stonewall your partner.
Do you avoid difficult questions and conversations?
This bad habit is called stonewalling.
When you stonewall your partner,
you're actively avoiding painful or emotional subjects,
but those subjects are important
to the health of your relationship.
By avoiding difficult conversations,
you're harboring unresolved issues with your partner.
It's okay to table a hard conversation every once in awhile
but ignoring an issue doesn't make it go away.
Number two, you're too distracted.
Do you give your partner your undivided attention?
Do you text other people when you're together?
Never underestimate the value of quality time.
When you're together, your partner wants to feel important.
They need to know that you enjoy spending time with them.
But if you're distracted,
your partner may feel ignored or neglected,
and your relationship may suffer.
Number three, you get defensive.
Few things are as important as communication.
But what if your partner tells you something
you don't wanna hear?
Your partner may, for example,
think they're doing all the work in your relationship.
No one likes to hear negative feedback.
So how should you react
when your partner tells you something is wrong?
Defensiveness can be destructive to any relationship.
When you become defensive,
you stop listening to your partner's concerns.
Instead, you try to protect yourself.
You may argue with them or turn the tables on your partner,
either way, you're ignoring the real problem
and your partner doesn't feel heard.
Number four, you criticize too often.
How often do you criticize your partner?
Even if you mean well,
critical behavior can drive a wedge in your relationship.
Not only is it frustrating for your partner,
excess criticism also creates a negative dynamic
in your relationship.
You lose track of why you love your partner
because you're too focused on their mistakes.
Number five, you idealize your partner.
Do you put your partner on a pedestal?
You love your partner,
so you may hold them to a high standard,
but idealizing your partner can damage your relationship.
When you idealize your partner,
you're projecting your own preferences onto them.
You love your partner for the person they could be
not who they actually are.
Number six, you ignore your past.
No one is perfect.
Every relationship has bumps and rough patches,
but ignoring your troubled past
could destroy your relationship.
Your history, good and bad,
is the reason you are where you are today.
It has shaped the way you feel about your partner
and the way your partner feels about you.
By ignoring your past,
you're overlooking significant moments in your relationship
and rejecting the struggles
your relationship has yet to overcome.
Number seven, you mislead your partner.
Have you ever told your partner something you didn't mean?
Deception can easily destroy a relationship.
Lies and manipulation ruin the most important thing
you and your partner have built together, trust.
When you stop being honest,
you give your partner a reason to doubt you.
Honesty isn't always easy
and some things are better left unsaid,
but you should never try to deceive your partner,
no matter what,
this kind of behavior will destroy your relationship.
Number eight, you create competition.
In a healthy relationship, partners don't keep score.
They don't care who's right and who's wrong
because competition creates tension, stress and resentment.
If you're always trying to prove your partner wrong,
sooner or later, you're going to drive them away.
Instead, by finding a solution
that makes both of you happy and learning how to compromise,
you can create a healthier relationship in the long run.
Number nine, you shame your partner.
Do you pick on your partner?
Many couples playfully tease each other in private.
But making fun of your partner in public
can damage your relationship.
Instead of a playful back and forth,
you're openly shaming your partner for their mistakes
and placing them in a very uncomfortable situation.
And number 10, you expect too much.
Do you get angry when your partner can't read your mind?
You expect your partner to know what you want
and what you're thinking all the time,
but that's entirely unfair to them.
It's your responsibility to vocalize the things you want.
If you don't express yourself,
your partner will never know anything is wrong.
If you expect your partner to magically know
all the answers, your relationship may slowly fall apart.
Do you struggle with any of these destructive behaviors?
Has your partner done things
that have damaged your relationship?
Tell us about your experiences
in the comment section below.
Don't forget to click the like button
and subscribe to Psych2Go for more psychology content,
and as always, thanks for watching.
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