if all we do is live in reference how can we be the subject to our own lives

Summary

The speaker emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and not letting external factors define us. They discuss the need to separate ourselves from our thoughts and not let negativity dictate our lives. The script encourages embracing the present moment, nurturing positivity, and accepting oneself to foster personal growth and a meaningful life. It also touches on the idea of self-love and the power of our own perspective in shaping our reality.

Takeaways

• 🌟 You are not defined by your external circumstances or the negative perceptions you have of yourself.
• 🧠 Recognizing that your mind is a tool, not your identity, can help you gain control over your thoughts and emotions.
• 🌱 Personal growth involves understanding what is truly inherent to your character versus what is imposed by external influences.
• 💪 Living a positive life is about nurturing positive possibilities rather than being overwhelmed by potential negatives.
• 💖 Life should be lived intimately, with affection and love, rather than being taken personally in a negative sense.
• 👁️‍🗨️ Your thoughts don't govern reality; you govern your thoughts. Acknowledge what needs to be addressed and move forward.
• 🌈 It's crucial to validate yourself and your efforts rather than seeking validation from external sources.
• 🔄 Growth is about building on your foundation and continuously adapting your perspective to better understand yourself.
• 🎯 Focus on the present moment and avoid being overly concerned with future or past references. Accept where you are to move forward.
• 🛤️ Living out of reference to yourself, with a focus on your feelings and relationships, leads to a more positive and fulfilling life.

Q & A

What is the main message of the script regarding living in reference to external factors?

The script emphasizes the importance of not attributing every external situation or negative glance to oneself. It encourages understanding that one's character is not defined by every circumstance or negative perception.

How does the script define 'making life intimate' as opposed to 'making life personal'?

Making life intimate involves creating meaning and affection for life that is worthwhile for oneself, whereas making life personal means attributing every external circumstance to one's self-identity, which can lead to negativity.

What does the script suggest about the role of our thoughts in our lives?

The script suggests that while our thoughts can provide potential ideas and insights, they should not govern our reality. It's important to govern our thoughts and not let them take control away from us.

How does the speaker relate the concept of self-acceptance to living a positive life?

The speaker believes that self-acceptance is crucial for living positively. By accepting oneself, one can then accept the world around them and move forward with positivity, learning from mistakes and improving.

What is the significance of being the 'subject' of our own lives according to the script?

Being the subject of our own lives means taking control and living in reference to oneself, rather than being defined by external circumstances or the opinions of others. It's about self-governance and self-love.

How does the script differentiate between necessary and unnecessary mental questioning?

The script differentiates by suggesting that while mental questioning can be a tool for self-improvement, overthinking or dwelling on unnecessary thoughts can be counterproductive and take away from living in the present moment.

What does the script propose as a way to deal with negative possibilities in life?

The script proposes acknowledging the existence of negative possibilities but choosing to live in and nurture positive possibilities instead. It's about focusing on building out of love and affection rather than hate.

How does the speaker view the relationship between our current self and our future self?

The speaker views the relationship as one where the current self should not be separated from the future self. It's about accepting the present self and using it as a foundation to build towards the future self, without living in constant reference to a future that does not yet exist.

What is the role of action according to the script?

Action is where our power lies, and it's essential to take action in the present moment. The script suggests that overthinking without action is not beneficial, and that our actions should be inspired by our feelings and intentions.

How does the script encourage self-expression and self-appreciation?

The script encourages self-expression as a way to understand more about oneself and to find what makes one feel most like themselves. It also promotes self-appreciation for the actions taken and the effort put into self-improvement and living authentically.

What is the final advice the speaker gives regarding living in the present and taking care of oneself?

The speaker advises to live in the present, make conscious choices, and take care of oneself by being a friend to oneself. They emphasize the importance of self-love and filling one's world with positivity and gratitude.

Outlines

00:00

💭 Embracing Self-Identity Beyond External Influences

The speaker emphasizes the importance of recognizing that we are not defined by our surroundings or the negative perceptions we have of ourselves. They stress the need to understand that not everything we encounter is a reflection of our character and that we often personalize situations unnecessarily. The speaker encourages developing self-awareness to discern what aspects of life are truly part of our identity and to create personal meaning and value, rather than letting negativity dictate our self-worth. They also discuss the idea of living intentionally and nurturing positive possibilities, advocating for a mindset that builds from love and affection rather than fear or hatred.

05:01

🌱 Self-Improvement Through Authenticity and Presence

The speaker reflects on the process of self-improvement, suggesting that it becomes less strenuous when we allow ourselves to be genuine and present. They argue that self-acceptance and the absence of unrealistic expectations are key to personal growth. The speaker also touches on the idea that understanding oneself deeply, including one's strengths and weaknesses, is more fulfilling and leads to a stronger sense of self. They advocate for an internal reference point for self-worth rather than seeking validation externally. The speaker also discusses the role of the mind as a tool for generating ideas and possibilities, rather than letting it dictate our reality, and the importance of taking action based on our thoughts and feelings.

10:03

🚀 Cultivating Passion and Commitment in the Present Moment

The speaker discusses the importance of passion, energy, and self-commitment in our actions, suggesting that true engagement comes from deeply understanding and valuing why we do what we do. They emphasize the need to appreciate our efforts and to maintain a positive outlook, even in the face of negativity. The speaker also highlights the significance of living in the present and taking conscious actions that align with our goals and values. They encourage embracing the current moment as a source of power and the place where growth and change occur, rather than being preoccupied with past achievements or future aspirations.

15:03

🙌 Practicing Gratitude and Self-Compassion

In the final paragraph, the speaker expresses gratitude for their journey and the support they have received, reflecting on the importance of acknowledging and appreciating one's own efforts and the contributions of others. They advocate for a self-compassionate approach, treating oneself with kindness and understanding, and for viewing mistakes as opportunities for growth rather than sources of judgment. The speaker concludes by encouraging continued self-care and the practice of being a friend to oneself, emphasizing the importance of filling one's world with positivity and gratitude.

Keywords

💡Self-Reference

Self-reference in the context of the video refers to the tendency to attribute external circumstances and the reactions of others to one's own character or identity. The video emphasizes the importance of recognizing that we are not defined by every situation or negative interaction around us. For example, the script mentions 'if all we do is live in reference,' suggesting that constantly referencing external factors can prevent us from being the subject of our own lives.

💡Intimacy with Life

Intimacy with life, as discussed in the video, is about creating a meaningful and affectionate relationship with one's own existence. It is the idea of making life worthwhile and personal by attributing our own meaning to it. The script talks about 'making life something that's worthwhile for you,' which is about nurturing a positive and intimate connection with our own lives rather than letting external negativity define us.

💡Personal Growth

Personal growth is a central theme in the video, highlighting the need for self-awareness and understanding to improve and evolve as individuals. The script encourages viewers to 'grow in understanding yourself better,' suggesting that recognizing aspects of the world that are not inherent to our character is crucial for personal development.

💡Mental Positing

Mental positing refers to the way our minds position or frame thoughts and ideas, which can influence our perception of reality. The video discusses how our minds can sometimes create unnecessary negative thoughts, as mentioned in 'our mental questioning or mental positing,' and the importance of not letting these thoughts dictate our reality.

💡Intentionality

Intentionality is the concept of being purposeful and deliberate in one's actions. The video stresses the importance of being intentional with what we do, as it can influence the outcomes we attract. The script states, 'I feel like it's so important to be intent with what you do,' emphasizing that our actions should be driven by a clear intention to foster positive possibilities.

💡Present Moment

The present moment is highlighted as the locus of our power and action. The video encourages living in the present rather than being consumed by past regrets or future anxieties. It is about 'addressing the present moment,' as the script says, and recognizing that our ability to change and grow is rooted in our current actions and mindset.

💡Self-Acceptance

Self-acceptance is the act of embracing oneself, including one's strengths and weaknesses, without judgment. The video speaks to the importance of 'accepting yourself,' suggesting that only by accepting our current state can we move towards our desired future. It is about acknowledging our present self as a foundation for growth.

💡Positivity

Positivity in the video is portrayed as a choice and a way of life that involves nurturing good feelings and focusing on the positive possibilities. The script mentions 'living in that positive possibility,' which is about consciously choosing to cultivate a positive mindset despite the presence of negative thoughts or circumstances.

💡Mind as a Tool

The mind is described as a tool in the video, rather than the entirety of our being. It is something that provides us with ideas and possibilities but should not govern our reality. The script states, 'your mind is a tool not a console,' indicating that while our thoughts are valuable, they should be used purposefully and not allowed to control our lives.

💡Action

Action is presented as the embodiment of our intentions and the means by which we realize our desires. The video encourages taking action in the present moment, as mentioned in 'that's where your power is, your action,' highlighting that our ability to effect change lies in what we do, not just what we think.

💡Gratitude

Gratitude is emphasized as a vital practice for filling one's world with positivity. The video concludes with an expression of gratitude for the channel and its community, as the script says, 'I feel like it's just important to express gratitude whenever you get the opportunity,' suggesting that acknowledging and appreciating what we have contributes to a fulfilling life.

Highlights

The importance of understanding that we are not defined by our surroundings or every situation we encounter.

The need to differentiate between external circumstances and our inherent character traits.

The concept of not making every negative experience personal, but intimate with life by creating our own meaning.

The idea that meaning in life is something we assign to it, and that it's shaped by our choices and allowances.

The realization that external and internal circumstances can influence our thought process and self-perception.

The distinction between being the observer of our thoughts and not letting them control our reality.

The empowerment that comes from understanding that we are the subjects of our own lives, not just objects in reference to others.

The importance of nurturing positive possibilities and not letting the mind dominate with negative thoughts.

The role of love and affection in building a life that is worthwhile and meaningful.

The recognition that making life personal can lead to attributing too much negativity to ourselves.

The necessity of self-acceptance as a foundation for accepting and navigating the world around us.

The idea of living in the present moment and not being trapped by past or future references.

The significance of self-improvement and the realization that it requires less effort when we allow ourselves to be ourselves.

The concept of treating our thoughts as tools that provide potential ideas, not as a console that dictates reality.

The encouragement to stop predicting outcomes and instead live in and nurture the present reality.

The emphasis on taking action as the key to harnessing our power in the present moment.

The importance of self-validation and the role it plays in maintaining passion and commitment to our actions.

The insight that true growth comes from moving forward and not being stuck in past achievements or future aspirations.

The call to appreciate ourselves and the journey of self-discovery, as it leads to a deeper connection with our true selves.

Transcripts

if all we do is live in reference then

how can we be the subject to our own

lives and I feel like I've been wanting

to talk about this in a more broad sense

for a while now but I feel like it's

super important to realize that you know

you're not everything that's around you

you're not every situation you're not

every negative glance you're not every

negative look you give yourself it's

just about realizing

how much you should not attribute to

self and what I mean by that is in

understanding in growing in

understanding yourself better you have

to realize what parts of the world what

parts of what you see aren't necessarily

inherent to your character I feel like a

lot of times when it comes to certain

situations certain people certain

circumstances whatever has to do with us

we find a way to make it personal

without making it you know necessarily

intimate and when I say intimate I mean

having affection for life you know

making life something that's worthwhile

for you creating meaning of your own cuz

at the end of the day whatever meaning

that is within your life is whatever you

give to it whatever you choose whatever

you allow to be and a lot of times we

allow negativity to be a part of who we

are we allow negative circumstances

negative people and and things that just

aren't inherent to us to be

inherent and I think the the point is to

to realize how you know they're not

Che in saying that you know if you only

live in reference how could you only be

the subject I'm I'm saying that in

reference to everything that we put

ourselves in reference to and I feel

like a lot of times it's not even the

external circumstances that make us you

know reflect upon ourselves it's our

internal circumstances it's a way we

allow things to be inside of us we allow

it to be part of our thought process

part of this is that and the other and

we also trade our thought process like

it's part of us as well when in reality

you know we're the thing that is

observing and thoughts and I think we

have to get a lot better at realizing

that cuz it it sort of takes control

away from your thoughts once you realize

you're the one having the thoughts you

know and once you get to that point you

realize little tiny minute ways you you

can sort of make it so your mind has

less influence over your your day-to-

day and it's not about taking a full

100% step back from the mind it's just

about realizing what is the mind and

what is you you know what is your desire

and what is your insecurity CA by your

your own mental

questioning and I feel like our mental

questioning or mental positing or

whatever our mind provides

often

is not necessarily negative or positive

but just

sometimes not NE not necessary for our

current

situation and what I mean by that is

there's a lot of times in my life in my

experience where you know I'm doing

something I'm doing something positive I

feel like it's contributing myself I'm

doing something that I feel like has

great potential and whenever I put it

out there you know your mind's first

thought is is addressing the possibility

and that's why I feel like it's so

important to be intent with what you do

cuz when it comes out first addressing

the possibilities it it it'll Loom over

everything that's possible negative and

positive and living in the positive

isn't about not acknowledging that a

negative possibility exists it's living

in that positive possibility choosing to

nurture that choosing to nurture a good

feeling cuz you don't build out of out

of hate you only build stuff you hate

you have to build out of love and

affection that's why I feel like you

have to make life intimate and not

personal cuz it's when you're making

life personal that every extenuating

circumstance attributes to yourself like

this happen so that means I'm this way

and in some cases it's true in some

cases you know we we do harm people in

some cases we we do harm situations and

I'm not saying that anybody's perfect

cuz I don't think anyone is in any sense

you know we're all human but that's not

to say you can't learn from your

mistakes and keep moving forward and

getting better and living in positivity

while you're doing it you know I feel

like we see one bad part of ourselves

and we decide to live in a world of

negativity because of and what I'm

realizing is Parts aren't necessarily

negative as they are untended to you

know they just haven't received the

proper attention not from the world not

validation from whatever's around you

but validation from

yourself cuz if you can't accept

yourself then how can you accept the

world around you and and a lot of times

we try to exercise control over the

world when we just need to exercise

control over ourselves cuz at the end of

the day we want to be the subjects to

our own life and that's not to say in a

narcissistic or or selfish way but to

say that every single person should live

in reference to

themselves you know we're always

thinking about ways we can be better and

you know I like how current generation

of people I feel like it's getting more

to the you versus you mentality like it

really is a just relationship between

you and yourself I realize that and

sometimes you know it's good to be at

conflict with yourself in terms of

trying to get better trying to be

disciplined but I'm what I'm realizing

from trying to improve myself is it

takes a lot less a lot less effort I

would say to improve if you're allowing

yourself to be yourself if you're

choosing to be present with yourself

choosing to allow yourself to be the way

you are without any expectation and

that's not to say not having any

standard but not to have any

expectation realize that all you have to

do is do your best and be yourself and

you'll be good because good is only a

matter of your your perspective of

yourself and I feel like what makes us

feel most like ourselves is figuring out

stuff about ourselves and I feel like

it's those things that we figure out we

like that makes us feel most like

ourselves because it's it's figuring out

more expression figuring out more ways

to be one with yourself and understand

that there's more to

love and once you get to that point I

feel like it's no longer a reference

thing but or no longer externally

referencing but only internally

referencing cuz I came to a point

where I wasn't really referencing the

outside in terms of my value but

referencing the inside and that's what

you're supposed to do right but you know

your mind is a tool not a console and

once I realized that you know it it got

better but before that you know you

think that your mind or whatever your

your thinking is is your state is your

reality like if you think oh I can't do

this then you can which is true but it's

important to realize that your thoughts

don't necessarily govern the way things

are you have to govern the way things

are cuz you have to be the one to govern

your thoughts and that's not to say you

have to be on top of them you know

control them to the very extent but

address what you need to address and

acknowledge what you need to acknowledge

you know some of my thoughts in my head

I just laugh at because it addressing

and acknowledging a possibility is one

thing but living in it is entirely

different and I feel like a lot of times

we get into overthought about things

that don't exist you know and and I

don't see a necessary point in that you

know there's there's a point in

hypothetical curiosity I feel like I

feel like the Curiosity I still have for

myself isn't necessarily questioning of

the self but questioning what else is

left to this self realizing that there's

more to build upon realizing that

whatever Foundation I've built you know

there's still I can build on top of and

I feel like that's where you get to a

point of not questioning but before that

I feel like your mind just it'll Supply

you with whatever I feel like it got to

a point where I could literally see

myself doing pretty much anything and

seeing it going any

way and you know it gets kind of

difficult at first when you're receiving

all the that type of information and you

don't know necessarily which one is

right or which one feels best or which

one is going to happen and my point is

stop

predicting you know you have to live in

whatever one and nurture whatever when

you want to happen and if if one is is

something you love more I really want

the positive outcome I want the best I

want what's best for me then you have to

do what's best you know what you put out

is what you put on and if you're

constantly putting out your best effort

putting out your love then you put on

your love and best effort your highest

self isn't necessarily something that

that should be in mind but it should be

in action you know I feel like a lot of

times we keep it in mind cuz we separate

our current self from our future self

you know we're living in reference to

something that has yet to exist because

we won't bring it here and that's why I

feel like you have to accept where you

are to get what you're go get where

you're going

because if you're constantly referencing

the future then you'll never get there

you're referencing something that has no

instantiation in reality and whatever

you're doing whatever you're doing to

think of that moment or that person it's

not who you are now and constantly

living in reference like that and not

positing any reality into your current

self to change to make that that tend

towards wherever you want to go then you

I don't think you'll ever get to a point

of

acceptance you know you have to love

where you are and then you'll love

wherever you go because it's you that

you have to accept it's you how you are

now that you have to accept not you how

you are in the future or you how you

were in the past it's the present moment

that we have to address and I feel like

a lot of times we're living to escape

the past or get back to it in certain

ways and it's not about getting back

it's about getting forward you know

sometimes I get in my head like oh I was

in a I was in a quote unquote better

head space back then let me get back to

what I was doing blah blah blah but what

I'm realizing is you have prior

information you have a whole plethora of

information and when that was new

information sure you can have that

mentality but I realized you have to

keep adding keep digesting and keep

adapting how you view yourself and how

you view your perspective cuz if you're

constantly living to the Future there's

no growth there it's growth is is

becoming and moving forward oh I was

doing that back then that was beneficial

to me but I'm bringing that to now

rather than living back then you know if

if a certain routine helped my mental

health in the past I just adopt that

routine with whatever I'm dealing with

now you know I feel like we try to cast

off too much of what is the present

moment because we're failing to be

within it and we're trying to think over

it and I feel like our mind gets in the

way of us too many times when we when we

do stuff like like that

cuz I I don't I really don't know why

the Mind does that you know it's it's

something I I definitely want to look

into more but I just find that

overthought about anything is is not

necessarily beneficial if all you could

do is think about it it's probably not

worth thought in my head and living by

that has only gotten me to pretty good

uh places cuz it inspires you to take

action cuz that's where the present

moment is and that's where your power is

your action isn't in sitting down

thinking and not doing anything and I

kind of had to have this realization not

even today but a lot of times you know

it's

about not necessarily treating your mind

as if it's nothing but treating it as if

it's something that's just there to give

you

potentials potential ideas cuz it can

work in your favor oh how do I feel

about this what can I do with this it

gives you idea it also gives you idea as

to what you're doing like is what I'm

doing good is it benefiting me is it

doing this is it doing this and

sometimes you know if it's a good thing

and you feel good about it you say yes

it's about living in the feeling that

inspired your action to do something and

not living in

in the mundaneness of whatever you want

to call it at this point cuz I think we

lose a lot of interest and passion and

familiarity and that's not to say that

we look at the same thing and devalue it

but to say we're not valuing ourselves

as much for doing the same

thing you have to learn to keep giving

yourself and keep cheering yourself on

for doing things and that's why I feel

like true passion comes from the

validation we give to ourselves for

doing something understand why you're

doing something and keep yourself

committed to why you're doing it for

that reason you know I like expressing

myself in this way so I keep expressing

myself in this way and I appreciate

myself for doing it because it helps me

get to to a better perspective I I feel

like myself in the world around me

and I feel like it you can apply that to

almost

anything it's about how intently you're

doing something how much passion how

much energy and how much of yourself you

put into your actions and that's what I

feel like going all in is is committing

yourself to committing to

yourself committing yourself to

commitment and this doesn't have to be a

overly disciplined thing or over

stressed thing I feel like any

discipline with love doesn't need to be

stressed I'm going to do what's best for

me because I love myself regardless

of what you know I have to go through to

get there I'm going to do it because

overall it's a benefit to me and and

appreciating yourself while you change

is necessary in order to change into

something that you will

appreciate so I feel like any

inclination and any any instantiation of

this would just be

to give yourself love and realize that

you know it's your life you have to live

and your world you have to live in

no one else can see the world from your

perspective and that's not to say

disregard every other perspective but

acknowledge your own acknowledge your

Viewpoint and how you feel about certain

things you know you can't always live in

in other people's Viewpoint of of what

you do cuz at the end of the day you're

the only one who can judge you because

you have to accept the judgments of

other people and place them upon

yourself and that's why I feel like

we're our biggest critic and you versus

you isn't necessarily helpful you have

to treat yourself like a friend like

there are points where I Jud certain

action of mine but I'm not judging them

out of being a judger like oh I wouldn't

do that I'm judging it like oh I did

that what can I do better in the future

now I know better not living in a what

should I have done what could I have

done there is no should have or could

have you know there only is what is now

and we have to learn to accept how

things are in order to to build upon

whatever we want you know even if NE

something negative happens I feel like

you still have to accept the negativity

that's at place here

and move on with your positivity

regardless of whether or not it was

present in the situation make sure it's

present now and that's why I feel like

you have to make sure you're present now

because these choices aren't necessarily

subconscious they're conscious things

that we have to decide for ourselves so

at the end of the day it's just about

living out of reference living in

reference to yourself and how you feel

about certain things and also in

reference to your relationships about

things realize that you bring everything

you want to a situation you know if you

want a positivity in a situation the

only way you can guarantee there's

positivity there is if you're the

positive one so if you made it this far

in the video I really hope you guys do

appreciate these um if you don't I'm

sure I do it's it's honestly very fun to

do this um and I just checked right now

I don't know going say the date but I

just hit 400 400

yo thank you all so much I honestly

can't I can't even express how grateful

I am I I've expressed gratitude a lot I

feel like um but like I've always been

grateful for for my channel and and for

everything that has come from it and I

feel like it's just important to Express

gratitude whenever you get the

opportunity gratitude from for yourself

for everyone for whatever you can

because at the end of the day what you

fill your world with is what your world

will be so um thank you uh I hope you

guys are doing great um hope a lot of

things go your guys' way and such other

than that keeping you keep being great

make sure you're taking care of yourself

be a friend to yourself and uh thank you