How Do YOU Define Yourself Lizzie Velasquez at TEDxAustinWomen

Summary

In this inspiring speech, Lizzie Velasquez shares her journey with a rare syndrome that affects her weight and vision. Despite the challenges and bullying she faced, she emphasizes the importance of not letting external factors define who you are. With resilience and determination, Lizzie has pursued her goals as a motivational speaker, author, and college graduate, turning negativity into a ladder to success and proving that one's inner strength and accomplishments can truly define a person.

Takeaways

• 🌟 The speaker was born with a rare syndrome that affects weight gain, of which only two other people in the world are known to have.
• 🍔 Despite the syndrome, the speaker enjoys the benefits of being able to eat freely without gaining weight.
• 👓 The speaker is visually impaired, which has its advantages, such as being able to ignore rude people by standing on the right side.
• 💪 The speaker has a strong support system, particularly from her parents, who raised her to be resilient and not let her syndrome define her.
• 👶 The speaker faced bullying as a child due to her appearance, but her parents encouraged her to continue being herself.
• 🤔 The speaker prompts the audience to consider what defines them as individuals, emphasizing that external factors should not dictate self-worth.
• 😔 The speaker struggled with self-acceptance, feeling defined by her appearance and syndrome, and wishing to be 'normal'.
• 📚 The speaker found motivation in the negativity directed at her, using it to fuel her goals and ambitions.
• 🎓 The speaker has achieved her goals of becoming a motivational speaker, writing books, and graduating from college with a degree in Communication Studies.
• 🔥 The speaker encourages the audience to use negativity as a tool for self-improvement and to define themselves by their goals and accomplishments, not their challenges.
• 👐 The speaker concludes by reiterating the importance of self-definition and the power of resilience in the face of adversity.

Q & A

What is the rare syndrome that the speaker was born with?

The speaker was born with a very rare syndrome that prevents her from gaining weight, of which only two other people in the world are known to have.

How has the speaker's syndrome affected her life physically?

The syndrome has resulted in the speaker never weighing more than about 64 pounds throughout her life, despite being able to eat whatever she wants.

What benefits does the speaker find in her syndrome?

The speaker finds benefits in not being able to gain weight, such as the freedom to eat without worrying about weight gain, and in being visually impaired, which allows her to ignore rude people by standing on her right side.

How did the speaker's parents react when they were told about her syndrome at birth?

The speaker's parents chose to love and raise her to the best of their abilities, despite being warned that she might never be able to talk, walk, crawl, think, or do anything by herself.

What challenges did the speaker face growing up?

The speaker faced challenges such as bullying and having to deal with people's reactions to her appearance due to her syndrome.

How did the speaker's parents advise her to handle the bullying she experienced?

Her parents advised her to continue being herself, to hold her head up high, and to smile, assuring her that her syndrome would not define who she is.

What realization did the speaker come to regarding her own self-perception?

The speaker realized that she should not let her outer appearance or her syndrome define her, but instead let her goals, success, and accomplishments be the defining factors of her life.

How did the speaker cope with negative online comments and bullying?

The speaker decided to ignore the negativity and focus on her own goals and self-improvement, using the negativity as motivation to achieve more.

What are some of the speaker's accomplishments that she is proud of?

The speaker is proud of becoming a motivational speaker, writing multiple books, graduating from college with a degree in Communication Studies, and having a minor in English.

What advice does the speaker give to the audience regarding self-definition?

The speaker advises the audience to not let external factors define them, but to instead focus on their own goals and accomplishments, using any negativity as a stepping stone to success.

Outlines

00:00

🌟 Embracing a Rare Syndrome with Optimism

The speaker introduces herself with enthusiasm and discusses her unique condition—a rare syndrome that prevents her from gaining weight, shared by only two other known individuals. Despite the challenges, she highlights the benefits of her condition, such as the ability to eat freely without weight gain and the advantages of being small in certain social situations. She also humorously offers to be a 'poster child' for weight loss programs, demonstrating her resilience and positive attitude towards life's adversities.

05:00

🤷‍♀️ Overcoming Bullying and Defining Identity

This paragraph delves into the speaker's experiences with bullying due to her physical appearance and the syndrome she has. She recalls the initial shock of realizing she looked different from her peers and the emotional toll it took on her. However, with the support of her loving parents, she learned to embrace her uniqueness and not let her syndrome define her. The speaker encourages the audience to reflect on what truly defines them as individuals, emphasizing the importance of self-acceptance and overcoming external judgments.

10:01

🚀 Turning Negativity into Motivation for Success

In this paragraph, the speaker shares her journey of turning negative experiences, such as cyberbullying and derogatory comments, into a source of motivation. She decided not to let the opinions of others define her and instead focused on her goals, which included becoming a motivational speaker, writing books, and graduating from college. She successfully achieved these goals, using the negativity as fuel to propel herself forward and proving her resilience and determination to succeed despite the odds.

Keywords

💡Syndrome

A syndrome is a group of symptoms that consistently occur together and characterize a disease or condition. In the video, the speaker mentions a very rare syndrome that affects their ability to gain weight, which is central to the theme of overcoming physical challenges and societal perceptions.

💡Visually Impaired

Being visually impaired means having a significant loss of vision that cannot be fully corrected with glasses or contact lenses. The speaker uses this term to describe their limited vision, which is a part of their personal challenges and contributes to the video's message about embracing one's uniqueness.

💡Bullying

Bullying is unwanted, aggressive behavior that involves a real or perceived imbalance of power. The speaker recounts their experiences with bullying, which is a key element in the narrative of resilience and self-acceptance.

💡Motivational Speaker

A motivational speaker is someone who inspires and motivates others through storytelling and shared experiences. The speaker's goal to become a motivational speaker is a central part of their journey to turn negative experiences into positive outcomes.

💡Resilience

Resilience is the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties or to be strong in the face of adversity. The speaker's story is a testament to resilience, as they have faced numerous challenges and used them as a springboard for personal growth.

💡Self-Acceptance

Self-acceptance is the ability to embrace oneself, including one's flaws and imperfections. The video emphasizes the importance of self-acceptance as the speaker learns to love themselves despite societal pressures and personal struggles.

💡Goals

Goals are the specific objectives that a person aims to achieve. In the script, the speaker sets goals such as becoming a motivational speaker, writing a book, and graduating from college, which serve as milestones in their journey of self-improvement.

💡Negativity

Negativity refers to a negative outlook or the expression of negative emotions. The speaker discusses how they used negativity from others as fuel to achieve their goals, demonstrating a powerful way to transform negative experiences into positive action.

💡Identity

Identity is the characteristics determining who or what a person or thing is. The video's theme revolves around the concept of identity, as the speaker explores what defines them beyond their physical appearance and syndrome.

💡Support System

A support system is a network of people who provide emotional, psychological, and sometimes financial or material support. The speaker credits their support system for helping them through difficult times, illustrating the importance of having a strong network of support in overcoming challenges.

💡Determination

Determination is the firmness of purpose or resolve. The speaker's story is a clear example of determination, as they set out to achieve their goals despite the obstacles they face due to their syndrome and societal reactions.

Highlights

The speaker was born with an extremely rare syndrome affecting weight gain.

Despite the syndrome, the speaker can eat freely without gaining weight.

The speaker has never weighed more than 64 pounds in their life.

The speaker humorously recounts college life with a tub of Twinkies and chips.

There are benefits to being unable to gain weight and visually impaired.

The speaker uses their unique experiences to volunteer as a poster child for weight programs.

The speaker's parents were determined to raise her normally despite early medical predictions.

The speaker credits her parents for her strength and achievements.

The speaker faced bullying due to her appearance but learned to rise above it.

The speaker's parents taught her that her syndrome does not define her.

The speaker challenges the audience to consider what defines them as individuals.

The speaker once struggled with self-acceptance, wishing to be different.

The speaker found motivation in the negativity of others to improve herself.

The speaker's goals include becoming a motivational speaker, writing books, and graduating college.

The speaker has achieved her goals, including submitting a manuscript for her third book.

The speaker emphasizes the importance of not letting external opinions define one's self-worth.

The speaker encourages the audience to use negativity as a stepping stone to success.

The speaker concludes by reiterating the question of what defines the audience, leaving a lasting impact.

Transcripts

I'm really really really excited to be

here I kind of want to tell you a little

bit more of the I don't want to say

basics cuz we don't really know anything

about my syndrome I was born with this

very very rare syndrome that only two

other people in the world including

myself that we know of have basically

what the syndrome causes that I cannot

gain weight yes it does to help as good

as it is

I could eat absolutely whatever I want

whenever I want and I won't really gain

any weight I'm gonna be 25 in March and

I've never weighed over about 64 pounds

of my entire life

what this is in college I hit why did

hide it was I wrote it was there but it

was a giant tub of Twinkies doughnuts

chips skittles and my roommate would say

I could hear you at 12:30 reaching under

your bed to get food but I'm like you

know what it's alright I can do these

things because there are benefits to

this syndrome there are benefits to not

being able to gain weight there are

benefits to being visually impaired

there are benefits to being kind of

really small a lot of people think

Lizzie how the world are you saying

there's benefits when you can only see

out of one eye let me tell you what the

benefits are cuz they're great I wear

contacts contact half-up contacts

when I wear my reading glasses hat off

prescription if somebody is annoying me

being rude stand on my right side it's

like you're not even there I don't even

know you're standing there right now if

I sound like this I have no clue but

there's this whole size of the room also

being small I am very willing to

volunteer myself to go to Weight

Watchers go to some gym and say hi I'm

Lizzy I will be your poster child put my

face whatever you need and I'll say hi I

use this program look how well it worked

even though there are really amazing

things that have come from this syndrome

there are also things that have been

very very difficult as you can imagine

growing up I was raised 150 percent

normally when I was my parents first

child and when I was born the doctors

told my mom your daughter has no

amniotic fluid around her at all so when

I was born it was a miracle that I came

out screaming the doctors told my

parents we just want to warn you expect

your daughter to never be able to talk

walk crawl think or do anything by

herself now as first parents you could

first-time parents you could think that

my parents would say oh no why why why

are we getting our first child to have

all these unknown problems that's not

what they did

the first thing they told the doctor was

we want to see her and we are going to

take her home and love her and raise her

to the best of our abilities and that's

what they did

I credit pretty much everything that

I've done in my life - my parents my dad

is here with me today and my mom is at

home watching she's recovering from a

surgery and she has been the glue that's

held our family together and giving me

the strength to see that she's going

through so much but she has this

fighting spirit but she's instilled in

me that I have so proudly been able to

stand in front of people and say you

know what I've had a really difficult

life but that's okay that's okay

things have been scary things have been

tough one of the biggest things that I

had to deal with growing up was

something that I'm pretty sure every

single one of us in this room has dealt

with before can you guess what that is

start to the beat can you guys guess it

boys

holy

I know y'all are thinking I should have

come here with them I had to deal with

bullying a lot but as I said I was

raised very normally so when I started

kindergarten I had absolutely no idea

that I look different no clue I couldn't

see that I look different from other

kids I think of it kind of as a big slap

of reality for a five year olds because

I went into schools first day decked out

in Pocahontas gear I was ready I went in

with my backpack that looked like a

turtle shell because it was bigger than

me and I walked up to a little girl I

smiled at her she looked up at me like I

was a monster like I was the scariest

thing she'd ever seen in her life my

first reaction was she is really rude I

am a fun kid and she's the one missing

out so I'll just go over here and play

with blocks or boys I thought the day

was gonna get better and unfortunately

it didn't the day kind of got worse and

worse and a lot of people just wanted to

have absolutely nothing to do with me

and I couldn't understand why why what

did I do

I didn't do anything to them am i my guy

was still a really cool kid so I had to

go home and ask my parents what's wrong

with me what did I do

why don't they like me and they sat me

down and they said Lizzie the only thing

that's different about you is that

you're smaller than the other kids you

have this syndrome but it's not gonna

define who you are they said go to

school pick your head up smile continue

to be yourself and people will see that

you're just like them and so that's what

I did I want you to think and ask

yourself this in your head right now

what defines you who are you is it where

you come from

is it your background is it your friends

what is it what defines who you are as a

person it's taken me a very long time to

figure out what defines me

for so long I thought what define me was

my outer appearance I thought that my

little tiny legs

my little arms in my little face was

ugly I thought it was disgusting I hated

when I would wake up in the morning I

was going to middle school and looking

in the mirror getting ready in the king

can I just rub this syndrome off it

would make my life so much easier if I

could just scrub it off

I could look like the other kids I

wouldn't have to buy clothes that had

Dora the Explorer on it I wouldn't have

to buy stuff that was bedazzled when I

was trying to be like the cool kids I

would wish and pray and hope and do

whatever I could to pray that I would

wake up in the morning and I would be

different and I wouldn't have to deal

with these struggles it's what I wanted

every single day and every single day I

was disappointed I have an amazing

amazing support system around me who

never pity me who are there to pick me

up if I'm sad who are there to laugh

with me during the good times and they

taught me that even though even though I

have this syndrome even though things

are hard I can't let that define me my

life was put into my hands just like

your lives are put into yours you are

the person in the front seat of your car

you are the one who decides whether your

car goes down a bad path or a good path

you are the one that decides what

defines you let me tell you it could be

really easy to I mean really hard to

figure out what what defines you cuz

there are times where I would just get

still annoyed and frustrated I don't

care what defines me when I was in high

school I found the video unfortunately

that somebody posted of me labeling me

the world's ugliest woman there were 4

million views to this video 8 seconds

long

no sound thousands of comments people

saying Lizzy please please just do a

world a favor put a gun to your head and

kill yourself think think about that if

people did it people told you that

strangers told you this

I cried my eyes out of course and I was

ready to kind of fight back and

something kind of clicked in my head and

I thought I'm just gonna leave it alone

I kind of started realizing that my life

is in my hands

I could either choose to make this

really good or I can choose to make this

really bad I could either be grateful

and open my eyes and realize the things

that I do have and make those the things

that define me I can't see out of one

eye but I can see out of the other I

might get sick a lot but I really nice

hair Thanks

you guys are like the best little

section right here okay okay so I could

either choose to be happy or I could

choose to kind of be upset with what I

have and still kind of complain about it

but then I started realizing am I gonna

let the people who call me a monster

define me am I gonna let the people who

said kill it with fire define me no I'm

gonna let my goals and my success and my

accomplishments be the things that

define me not my outer appearance not

the fact that I'm visually impaired not

the fact that I had this syndrome that

nobody knows what it is so I told myself

I'm gonna work my butt off and do

whatever I could to make myself better

because in my mind the best way that I

could get back at all those people who

made fun of me who teased me who called

me ugly who called me a monster was to

make myself better and to show them you

know what tell me those negative things

I'm gonna turn them around and I'm gonna

use them as a ladder to climb up to my

goals that's what I did I told myself I

wanted to be a motivational speaker I

want to write a book graduate college

have my own fan

my own career eight years later I'm

sitting in front of you is still doing

motivational speaking first thing I

accomplished it I wanted to write a book

in a couple weeks I will be submitting

the manuscript for my third book I

wanted to graduate college and I just

finished I'm getting a degree I'm

getting a degree in Communication

Studies from Texas State University in

San Marcos and I have a minor in English

I really really tried to use real-life

experience while I was getting my degree

and my professors were not having it but

I wanted to have lastly my own family in

my own career and the family part is

kind of down the line in my career part

I feel like I'm really doing well with

it considering the fact that when I

decided I wanted to be a motivational

speaker I went home I sat in front of my

laptop went to Google type in how to be

a motivational speaker I'm not even

joking I worked my butt off I use the

people who are telling me that I

couldn't do this to motivate me I use

their negativity to light my fire to

keep going use that use that use that

negativity that you have in your life to

make yourself better because I guarantee

you guarantee you you will win now I

want to end with asking you again I want

you to leave here and ask yourself what

defines you but remember rape starts

here thank you

[Applause]