How to know your life purpose in 5 minutes | Adam Leipzig | TEDxMalibu

TEDx Talks
1 Feb 201310:33

Summary

TLDRIn a reunion setting, the speaker discovers that 80% of her privileged, educated peers are unhappy, despite material success. The contented 20%, who studied for joy and not for job placement, understood their life purpose through five key insights: self-awareness, passion, audience, audience needs, and personal growth. The speaker encourages the audience to identify their purpose in five minutes, emphasizing the importance of serving others and being outward-facing for true happiness.

Takeaways

  • 🎉 The speaker discovered that 80% of their privileged, educated, and financially well-off classmates were unhappy with their lives, despite their success.
  • 🤔 The unhappiness stemmed from a feeling of wasting life and a lack of clarity about the purpose of their existence.
  • 📚 The 20% who were happy were those who studied for the joy of learning, not for job security, and included theater people, literature enthusiasts, and history buffs.
  • 💡 The happy individuals knew their life purpose because they understood five key aspects: who they were, what they did, who they did it for, what those people wanted or needed, and how they changed as a result.
  • 🔑 The speaker suggests that understanding one's life purpose is simple and can be achieved in five minutes by considering the aforementioned five aspects.
  • 📈 The audience was engaged in an interactive exercise to identify their life purpose by shouting out their first name, what they love to do, who they do it for, what those people want or need, and how they change as a result.
  • 🌟 The powerful formulation of life purpose involves only two aspects about oneself and three about others, emphasizing an outward-facing approach to life.
  • 😊 Happier people are those who focus on serving others and understanding their needs, which in turn brings them fulfillment and security.
  • 🚀 The most successful people prioritize serving others over being served, which is a key to their success and happiness.
  • 🛍️ The speaker provides examples of how to answer the common question 'What do you do?' by linking one's actions to the positive changes they bring to others.
  • 📢 The personal elevator pitch, which encapsulates one's life purpose, can be a conversation starter and a means to share one's mission with others.

Q & A

  • What was the setting of the event during the speaker's 25th college reunion?

    -The setting was a party in a tent with dancing, music, and noise, which led to many attendees drifting outside to talk and catch up with classmates.

  • What astonishing discovery did the speaker make during the reunion?

    -The speaker discovered that 80% of their friends were unhappy with their lives, despite being privileged, highly educated, and financially well off.

  • What commonality did the 20% of the happier attendees share according to the speaker?

    -The happier attendees had studied literature, Renaissance rhetoric, theater, and history for the joy of learning, not for job prospects, and they knew their life purpose.

  • What are the five things that the speaker suggests knowing to understand one's life purpose?

    -The five things are: who you are, what you do, who you do it for, what those people want or need, and how they change as a result.

  • How long does the speaker claim it takes to learn one's life purpose?

    -The speaker claims that one can learn their life purpose in the next five minutes.

  • What is the significance of the number 151,928 in the script?

    -The number 151,928 represents the amount of books listed on Amazon that refer to learning one's life purpose, highlighting the abundance of resources available on the topic.

  • What activity did the speaker engage the audience in to help them discover their life purpose?

    -The speaker had the audience participate in a series of shout-outs to identify who they are, what they do, who they do it for, what those people want or need, and how they change as a result.

  • How does the speaker describe the formulation of life purpose as presented in the script?

    -The speaker describes the formulation as powerful because it is outward-facing, focusing on serving others, and only two of the five elements are about oneself.

  • What advice does the speaker give for answering the common question 'So, what do you do?'

    -The speaker suggests responding with how what you do changes the people you do it for, essentially sharing your personal elevator pitch or life purpose.

  • How does the speaker relate the concept of life purpose to happiness and success?

    -The speaker relates life purpose to happiness and success by stating that happier and more successful people focus on serving others and making them happy, which in turn leads to their own well-being.

  • What is the final exercise the speaker asks the audience to do to encapsulate their life purpose?

    -The final exercise involves the audience collectively shouting out answers to who they are, what they do, who they do it for, what those people want or need, and how they change as a result, in order to formulate a sentence that captures their life purpose.

Outlines

00:00

🎉 Discovering Life Satisfaction at a Reunion

During a reunion party at Yale, the speaker, Yulia Kallistratova, noticed that 80% of her classmates expressed dissatisfaction with their lives, despite their education, wealth, and status. She found that the 20% who were happy had a clear understanding of their life purpose, which involved knowing five key things: their identity, their passion, their audience, the audience's needs, and the impact they had on others. The speaker encourages the audience to also find their life purpose in a simple and quick exercise, emphasizing the importance of focusing on serving others rather than oneself.

05:01

🔑 Formulating Your Life Purpose and Personal Pitch

The speaker guides the audience through an interactive exercise to help them identify their life purpose by asking who they are, what they love to do, who they do it for, what those people need, and how they change as a result. This exercise is designed to be outward-facing, focusing on serving others. The speaker explains that understanding these elements can lead to happiness and success. Additionally, the speaker addresses the common challenge of answering 'What do you do?' by suggesting that individuals should craft a personal elevator pitch that highlights the positive change they bring to others, which can spark further conversation and self-reflection.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Life Purpose

Life purpose refers to the fundamental reason for someone's existence or the main aim or ambition of one's life. In the video's context, it is the central theme that the speaker explores, emphasizing the importance of understanding one's life purpose for personal fulfillment. The speaker mentions that 80% of the people at the reunion were unhappy, possibly due to a lack of clarity about their life purpose, while the 20% who were happy had a clear sense of it.

💡Privileged

Privileged in this context means having certain advantages or immunities, often social or economic, beyond the basic rights of other people. The speaker notes that despite being privileged, highly educated, and financially well off, many of the attendees were still unhappy, suggesting that material success does not guarantee contentment or a sense of purpose.

💡Renaissance Rhetoric

Renaissance rhetoric refers to the art of persuasive speaking and writing that was prevalent during the Renaissance period. It symbolizes the joy of learning for its own sake, as opposed to vocational training. The speaker identifies this as a common trait among the 20% who were happy, indicating that a love for learning and the humanities can contribute to a sense of life purpose.

💡Outward Facing

Being outward facing means focusing on others, their needs, and how one can serve them, rather than being self-centered. The speaker suggests that the happiest individuals were those who were outward facing, as they had a clear understanding of whom they served and how they made a difference in others' lives.

💡Inward Facing

In contrast to being outward facing, inward facing refers to a self-centered focus on one's own needs and desires. The speaker contrasts this with the outward-facing approach, implying that an inward focus may contribute to the unhappiness experienced by many of the reunion attendees.

💡Joy of Learning

The joy of learning refers to the intrinsic pleasure derived from the process of acquiring knowledge or skills, regardless of their immediate practical application. The speaker highlights that the 20% who were happy pursued their studies for the joy of learning, which seems to have contributed to their sense of fulfillment and purpose.

💡Elevator Pitch

An elevator pitch is a short, persuasive speech that you can use to spark interest in what you do. It's called an elevator pitch because it should be no longer than the time it takes to ride an elevator. The speaker advises using a personal elevator pitch that encapsulates one's life purpose and its impact on others, as a way to succinctly explain one's role and goals.

💡Transformation

Transformation in this context refers to the change or development that occurs in the people who are affected by one's life purpose. The speaker asks the audience to consider how the people they serve are transformed by their actions, emphasizing the importance of this outcome in defining one's purpose.

💡Happiness

Happiness, in the video, is presented as a state of well-being and contentment that is closely tied to having a clear life purpose. The speaker uses happiness as a benchmark to differentiate between those who have found their purpose and those who are still searching for it.

💡Unexamined Life

The term 'unexamined life' is a reference to a famous quote by Socrates, suggesting that a life without reflection and self-awareness is not worth living. The speaker humorously adapts this concept to say that while reflection is important, one must also take action and live life rather than just examining it.

💡Serving Others

Serving others is the act of putting the needs and interests of others before one's own. The speaker argues that the happiest people are those who focus on serving others, indicating that altruism and a service-oriented mindset are key components of finding one's life purpose.

Highlights

80% of people at the 25th college reunion felt they had wasted their lives, despite being privileged and successful.

The 20% who were happy had studied literature, Renaissance rhetoric, theater, and history for the joy of learning, not for specific job prospects.

Happy people knew their life purpose because they understood five key things: who they were, what they did, who they did it for, what those people wanted or needed, and how they changed as a result.

Learning your life purpose can be simple and quick, even within the next five minutes.

The audience was engaged to shout out their first names to identify themselves.

People were asked to focus on what they love to do and feel supremely qualified to teach others, as a way to define their purpose.

The audience was prompted to think about who they do their work for and what those people want or need.

Participants were asked to consider how the people they serve change or transform as a result of their work.

The speaker emphasized that only two of the five key aspects of life purpose are about oneself, while the other three focus on others.

Happier people are outward-facing, focusing on serving others and understanding their needs and changes.

Successful people focus more on serving others than on how they are served themselves.

Making other people happy can lead to personal happiness and security.

The audience was guided to create a personal elevator pitch by articulating how their work changes the people they serve.

An example of an elevator pitch is stating how one's work impacts others, such as 'I give kids awesome dreams'.

Sharing one's life purpose can start meaningful conversations and inspire others to discover their own.

The speaker congratulated the audience for figuring out their life purpose, something that even Yale graduates struggled with for 25 years.

Transcripts

play00:00

Transcriber: Yulia Kallistratova Reviewer: Denise RQ

play00:36

On the last evening of my 25th college reunion,

play00:41

there was a party in a tent

play00:45

with dancing, and music, and noise.

play00:48

So much noise that a lot of us started to drift out of the tent

play00:52

so we could hear each other talk and catch up with classmates

play00:55

that we had not seen in more than 2 decades.

play00:59

As I talked with my friends I made an astounding discovery:

play01:03

80% of them were unhappy with their lives.

play01:09

"I feel as though I've wasted my life, and I'm half way through it," they said.

play01:14

"I don't know what my life is all about."

play01:18

I was privileged to go to Yale,

play01:21

and we were standing on a summer evening in the middle of Yale's old campus,

play01:26

and the people that I was speaking with were privileged, and highly educated,

play01:32

and financially well off, and in positions of power.

play01:35

And they had the first house, and the second house,

play01:39

and they had the first spouse, and the second spouse.

play01:43

(Laughter)

play01:44

And 80% of them were unhappy with their lives.

play01:49

Who was happy, the 20%?

play01:52

Well, we had studied literature and Renaissance rhetoric,

play01:57

and we were the theater people, and the history geeks.

play02:01

We had studied classes for the joy of learning,

play02:05

not because we thought they were going to put direct us to a specific job.

play02:09

We still got jobs,

play02:11

we were living our lives expansively,

play02:14

with life's ups and downs,

play02:16

and we did not feel that we had wasted a single minute.

play02:21

And as I spoke with the 20%, the happier 20%,

play02:26

I discovered that each of them knew

play02:28

something about their life purpose

play02:31

because they knew five things:

play02:34

who they were, what they did,

play02:38

who they did it for,

play02:39

what those people wanted or needed,

play02:42

and what they got out of it, how they changed as a result.

play02:47

Does that sound hard?

play02:48

It's not, it's actually really simple.

play02:50

In fact it's so simple, that you can learn your life purpose now.

play02:56

You're going to know your life purpose now, in the next five minutes.

play03:00

Would you like to know your life purpose in the next five minutes?

play03:03

(Audience) Yes.

play03:04

Can you be a little bit louder?

play03:05

Because they are making a lot of noise in the tent,

play03:08

and there is just a silly little microphone next to my cheek to hear you.

play03:11

Would you like to know your life purpose in the next five minutes?

play03:15

(Audience) Yes!

play03:16

Thank you. Actually, it's not even going to take five minutes.

play03:19

So, can I share something else with you?

play03:21

If you're like a lot of us,

play03:23

you have wondered and worried about your life purpose for a long time,

play03:27

and there are books, and magazines, and workshops, and seminars about it.

play03:31

In fact, Amazon lists 151,928 books

play03:37

that refer to how you can learn your life purpose.

play03:41

(Laughter)

play03:43

Well, I know some people who have spent their entire lives

play03:46

trying to learn their life purpose.

play03:48

Look, we can all agree that the unexamined life is not worth living,

play03:52

but if all you're doing is examining, you're not living.

play03:57

(Laughter)

play03:58

So, let's figure out the life purpose right now together:

play04:02

who you are, what you do, who you do it for,

play04:06

what those people want and need, and how they change as a result.

play04:10

Shall we do it? (Audience) Yes.

play04:12

All right.

play04:13

Everybody, on the count of five, shout out your first name.

play04:16

One, two, three, four, five:

play04:17

(Audience shouts)

play04:19

Fabulous.

play04:20

That was the first one, only four to go.

play04:22

That's who you are. (Laughter)

play04:24

Now, what do you do?

play04:25

What do you love to do?

play04:27

Do you love to write, cook, design,

play04:31

create iOS apps, write code, crunch numbers, talk, teach?

play04:38

What do you love to do?

play04:39

And if there is a lot of things that come up for you

play04:41

focus it down by asking yourselves this one question:

play04:45

what is the one thing that right now

play04:47

you feel supremely qualified to teach other people?

play04:52

Think about that in one word.

play04:54

Hold it. Don't release it yet. On the count of five.

play04:56

What do you do?

play04:58

One, two, three, four, five:

play05:00

(Audience shouts)

play05:02

Great. That's what you do.

play05:04

Now, think about who you do it for, picture them in your mind,

play05:07

be ready to say it on the count of five.

play05:09

Hold it, don't release it yet.

play05:11

One, two, three, four, five:

play05:13

(Audience murmurs)

play05:15

OK, who do you do it for, let's see it one more time.

play05:17

A little bit louder, please, over the people in the tent.

play05:20

Who do you do it for? Together:

play05:22

(Audience shouts)

play05:23

Thank you. That is the spirit that we need. OK, now.

play05:26

What do all those people want or need?

play05:28

What do they want or need that you have,

play05:30

that they've come to you so you can give them this thing.

play05:32

What do they want or need? In just one or two words.

play05:35

Hold it, don't release it yet.

play05:36

And on the count of five: one, two, three, four, five...

play05:40

(Audience shouts)

play05:41

Fantastic. Now, this is the best one.

play05:43

How do they change?

play05:45

How do they change or transform as a result of what you give them?

play05:49

On the count of five,

play05:51

how do they change or transform as a result of what you give them?

play05:54

One, two, three, four, five:

play05:57

(Audience shouts)

play05:59

Terrific. Now we're going to put this all together kind of in a sentence, OK?

play06:03

Everyone together, louder than the people in the tent:

play06:06

who are you?

play06:07

(Audience responds)

play06:08

What do you do?

play06:10

(Audience responds)

play06:11

Who do you do it for?

play06:13

(Audience responds)

play06:14

What do they want or need?

play06:16

(Audience responds)

play06:17

How do they change as a result?

play06:18

(Audience responds)

play06:19

Fantastic.

play06:20

You have all just done something

play06:22

that people who went to Yale could not figure out for 25 years.

play06:26

Congratulations. Give yourselves a hand. (Applause)

play06:29

Now, why is that formulation so powerful?

play06:33

Because of all of those five things that you need to know

play06:36

to know what your life purpose is,

play06:37

only two are about yourself.

play06:40

The other three of them are about other people:

play06:43

who they are, what they want or need,

play06:46

and how they change as a result.

play06:50

That formulation forces you to be outward facing.

play06:53

And all the happier people that I met outside the tent

play06:56

on that warm New Haven night

play06:58

they were outward facing, they were not inward facing.

play07:01

They knew very clearly whom they served, what those people needed,

play07:05

and how those people changed as a result.

play07:08

And you may have intuited this already

play07:10

that the most successful people in any field always focus most

play07:15

on the people that they serve than on how they are served themselves.

play07:20

Happier people make it a point to make other people happy,

play07:25

and do things that make them feel well taken care of and secure.

play07:30

If you make other people happy, life teaches us,

play07:33

we will be taken care of, too.

play07:35

So since you all did so well, we have time for just a little bit of extra credit.

play07:39

(Laughter)

play07:41

One of the most difficult things

play07:42

that happens when you meet people for the first time is

play07:45

they ask you this question,

play07:47

"So, what do you do?"

play07:49

And, if you're like some of us,

play07:51

that's a really challenging question sometimes.

play07:53

Particularly, if you're in these moments where you're between things,

play07:57

or you're feeling vulnerable, or it isn't defined.

play08:00

Or, what you seem to do isn't what you really do,

play08:04

or what you paid to do isn't how you define yourself.

play08:08

So, when people ask you this question, "So, what do you do?"

play08:10

and also, you've got this mental monologue going on,

play08:13

"Why is he asking me? So, what do I do? Is it because..."

play08:16

It's that transactional thing where it's like: "He wants to know

play08:19

if he should really spend time talking to me?"

play08:21

(Laughter)

play08:22

Or, it's that other thing, so he can tell me what he does

play08:25

because he's sure it's, "Oh, really, so much better than what I do?"

play08:29

(Laughter)

play08:29

Right?

play08:30

So, when somebody asks you that question, here's what you do:

play08:34

you just say the very last thing you called out,

play08:37

how what you do changes the people you do it for.

play08:40

So, for example, you might say, "I give kids awesome dreams."

play08:48

If your life purpose is: "I write books for children,

play08:52

so they can fall asleep at night, so they can have awesome dreams."

play08:57

Or you might say: "I help people look and feel their best,"

play09:02

if your life purpose is:

play09:04

"I design apparel for men and women who need affordable choices,

play09:08

so they can look and feel their best."

play09:11

Or you might say: "I help people get great work into the world,"

play09:17

if your life purpose is:

play09:19

"I train entrepreneurs and creative people to take decisive actions,

play09:24

so they can get their greatest work into the world."

play09:28

And then,

play09:30

that little snippet that you just said

play09:33

becomes your personal elevator pitch.

play09:35

And it will always start a conversation

play09:37

because the person that you were just talking to

play09:40

has to ask you a question,

play09:41

"How do you give kids great dreams?"

play09:44

"How do you help people look and feel their best?"

play09:47

"Can people really get their greatest work into the world?"

play09:51

And then you get to tell them,

play09:54

and you get to share your life purpose.

play09:58

And you get to share how they may come to learn theirs, too.

play10:03

(Applause)

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Related Tags
Life PurposeYale ReunionHappinessSelf-ReflectionServiceFulfillmentPersonal GrowthAudience EngagementInspirational SpeechCareer AdviceLife Lessons