6 Life Lessons I'd Give To My Younger Self

Summary

In this reflective video, Anas, a UK-based doctor, shares six life lessons he's learned by the age of 29. He emphasizes the importance of listening to feedback, starting new endeavors regardless of age, maintaining consistency, not being overly concerned with others' opinions, establishing good self-care habits, and viewing oneself as average to stay grounded and motivated. His insights aim to inspire personal growth and effective life management.

Takeaways

• 🗣️ Takeaway 1: The importance of listening to feedback and learning to manage it effectively is crucial for personal growth, as opposed to the narrative of ignoring others' opinions for success.
• 🎈 Takeaway 2: Using the balloon analogy, being receptive to feedback allows for growth without the risk of bursting from too much input or remaining deflated from none at all.
• 🎾 Takeaway 3: It's never too late to start a new activity or pursue a passion, as demonstrated by the speaker's experience with learning tennis later in life.
• 🔁 Takeaway 4: Consistency is key in achieving success in any endeavor, whether it's content creation or physical training, and lack of it can lead to stagnation or regression.
• 🤔 Takeaway 5: People's opinions about you are not always a reflection of your true self, and focusing too much on pleasing others can detract from self-improvement.
• 💆‍♂️ Takeaway 6: Establishing good self-care habits early on can prevent long-term issues and contribute to overall well-being.
• 🍽️ Takeaway 7: Healthy lifestyle choices, such as diet and exercise, have long-term benefits that are evident in the vitality of older individuals in Mediterranean cultures.
• 🕴️ Takeaway 8: Seeing oneself as average can lead to a balanced perspective on life, promoting humility in success and resilience in the face of challenges.
• 🧠 Takeaway 9: Recognizing that most people are likely to be somewhere in the middle of the bell curve in terms of abilities, it's hard work and consistency that truly differentiate individuals.
• 🛑 Takeaway 10: Knowing when to stop and pivot is important, but maintaining a mindset of being average encourages continuous effort without being hindered by self-doubt or overconfidence.

Q & A

What is the main theme of the video?

The main theme of the video is sharing life lessons learned by the speaker, Anas, who is a doctor working in the UK, with the aim of helping viewers draw benefits from his experiences.

What is the first lesson Anas talks about and why is it important?

The first lesson is 'just shut up and listen.' It's important because being receptive to feedback is key to personal growth, despite the common narrative that one should only follow their own path without listening to others.

How does Anas describe the analogy of a balloon with feedback?

Anas uses the balloon analogy to illustrate three outcomes of feedback: no growth without feedback, bursting from too much unfiltered feedback, and steady growth with a mechanism to release negative feedback, similar to a balloon with a small hole.

What is the second lesson Anas shares and why is it significant?

The second lesson is 'it's never too late to start.' It's significant because it encourages viewers to begin new endeavors regardless of their age or perceived lateness, emphasizing that starting is better than not starting at all.

Can you provide an example from the script that illustrates the lesson about starting something new?

Anas shares his personal experience of starting to play tennis at the age of 29, which shows that even if he had started earlier, he would have missed out on the experiences he had while playing in recent years.

What is the third lesson and how does Anas demonstrate its impact?

The third lesson is 'consistency.' Anas demonstrates its impact by reflecting on his own experiences, such as the success of his YouTube channel due to consistent effort and the failures in weightlifting due to inconsistency.

What does Anas suggest about the importance of people's opinions of you?

Anas suggests that while feedback can be important, ultimately it does not matter what most people think of you, as only a few people's paths will align with yours for a significant amount of time.

What is the fourth lesson and what does it imply about self-improvement?

The fourth lesson is about realizing that 'everybody will move on.' It implies that self-improvement should be the focus, rather than trying to please everyone, as people's opinions can be transient.

How does Anas connect self-care habits to long-term benefits?

Anas connects self-care habits to long-term benefits by using the example of skincare routines, which can prevent long-term issues like sun damage and scarring, and by drawing parallels to healthy eating habits in Mediterranean cultures.

What is the fifth lesson and why is it crucial for long-term well-being?

The fifth lesson is to 'establish good self-care habits.' It is crucial for long-term well-being because simple daily habits can prevent long-term issues and contribute to overall health and happiness.

What perspective does Anas recommend for viewing oneself and why?

Anas recommends viewing oneself as 'average' because this perspective can prevent feelings of inadequacy or arrogance, promote humility, and encourage consistent hard work without being deterred by perceived limits or gifts.

How does Anas explain the potential downside of seeing oneself as either gifted or lacking potential?

Anas explains that seeing oneself as gifted might lead to complacency and not reaching one's full potential, while seeing oneself as lacking potential could deter one from trying at all, thus limiting personal growth.

What is the final lesson and what does it suggest about our approach to life?

The final lesson is to 'see yourself as average.' It suggests that our approach to life should be grounded in hard work and consistency, rather than being influenced by the uncertainty of our innate abilities or potential.

Outlines

00:00

🗣️ Embracing Feedback for Growth

Anas, a UK-based doctor, shares the first lesson from his life's experiences: the importance of listening and being receptive to feedback. He challenges the narrative that one must ignore others' opinions to succeed, highlighting the value of constructive criticism for personal development. Anas uses the analogy of a balloon and air to illustrate three outcomes of receiving feedback: stagnation without feedback, bursting from too much, and steady growth with proper management of feedback. He emphasizes the necessity of filtering out malicious input while embracing useful feedback to achieve one's full potential.

05:02

🎾 It's Never Too Late to Start

The second lesson focuses on the idea that it's never too late to begin a new activity or pursue a passion. Anas recounts his initial hesitation to start playing tennis at 14 due to feeling too old, only to pick it up in 2020 during the pandemic and quickly become proficient. He reflects on the missed opportunities and experiences had he started earlier, and encourages viewers to try new things without being deterred by age or perceived lateness, as the benefits of starting and persisting in an activity can be significant.

10:02

🔄 The Power of Consistency

In the third lesson, Anas discusses the impact of consistency in various aspects of life. He shares his success with creating content for his channel without prior experience, attributing it to consistent effort over time. Conversely, he admits to struggling with consistency in weightlifting, leading to a lack of progress. Anas emphasizes that consistency is crucial for achieving goals and that it's never too late to adopt this habit, as the long-term benefits can be substantial.

15:04

👥 The Transience of Others' Opinions

Lesson four addresses the significance and insignificance of others' opinions. Anas admits to having been self-conscious in his youth and acknowledges that while feedback is essential, it's also important to recognize that most people's opinions are fleeting and not always reflective of one's true character. He advises not to let the desire for universal likability detract from self-improvement, as it can lead to anxiety and compromised values. Instead, focus should be on personal growth, as people's paths diverge over time.

💆‍♂️ Establishing Self-Care Habits

The fifth lesson is about establishing good self-care habits. Anas shares his personal experience with acne, which worsened due to neglect and lack of a skincare routine. He uses this as an example to illustrate how simple daily habits can prevent long-term issues. He extends this concept to other areas such as diet and exercise, citing the health and vitality of elderly Mediterranean individuals as evidence of the long-term benefits of a healthy lifestyle. Anas encourages viewers to adopt habits that will benefit their future selves.

🧘‍♂️ Seeing Oneself as Average

The final lesson encourages viewers to see themselves as average, which Anas describes as a life-changing perspective. He explains that self-perception influences how one is treated by others and how one reacts to success and failure. Viewing oneself as average helps maintain humility and challenge disrespect, and it prevents disappointment from unrealized potential or the pressure of perceived superiority. Anas argues that hard work, research, and consistency are what truly differentiate individuals, and focusing on these controllable factors is more beneficial than fixating on one's position on an imaginary bell curve of ability.

Keywords

💡Feedback

Feedback in the context of this video refers to the responses, comments, or critiques one receives from others. It is central to personal growth and improvement, as it provides an external perspective on one's actions or behaviors. The video emphasizes the importance of being receptive to feedback and learning to manage it effectively to avoid stagnation or being overwhelmed. For instance, the speaker uses the balloon analogy to illustrate the three possible outcomes of receiving feedback: no growth without it, bursting from too much without filtering, or steady growth with proper management.

💡Consistency

Consistency is highlighted as a key to achieving success and progress in any endeavor. It is the continuous and persistent effort applied over time, which can lead to mastery and accomplishment. The video's theme of consistency is exemplified by the speaker's own experiences with creating content for his channel and the lack of progress in weightlifting due to inconsistency. Consistency is portrayed as a driving force that can transform novices into experts and turn fleeting interests into lifelong passions.

💡Self-Care

Self-care is the practice of taking actions to maintain or improve one's health and well-being. In the video, the concept is discussed in terms of skincare routines and their long-term benefits, as well as the broader implications for health and lifestyle choices. The speaker shares a personal anecdote about acne and how a lack of self-care can lead to lasting issues. The message is to establish good self-care habits early on to prevent future problems and to improve overall quality of life.

💡Potential

Potential is the latent ability or capacity for growth, development, or achievement. The video discusses the concept of potential in relation to self-perception and how it can influence one's motivation and actions. The speaker argues against fixating on one's perceived potential, whether high or low, and instead encourages viewing oneself as average to maintain a balanced approach to work and life. This mindset promotes consistent effort and prevents discouragement or complacency.

💡Growth Mindset

A growth mindset is the belief that abilities and intelligence can be developed through dedication and hard work. The video indirectly touches on this concept by advocating for the acceptance and utilization of feedback, as well as the importance of consistency. It suggests that personal development is not predetermined but can be actively pursued through effort and the right attitude towards learning and self-improvement.

💡Self-Perception

Self-perception is how one views oneself, which can significantly impact behavior, motivation, and interactions with others. The video discusses the importance of having a balanced self-perception, neither underestimating nor overestimating one's abilities. The speaker uses the concept to argue for seeing oneself as 'average,' which can lead to a healthy approach to challenges and a realistic assessment of one's capabilities.

💡Opinion

Opinion refers to the beliefs or views one holds, often about others or situations. In the video, the speaker discusses the importance of recognizing that others' opinions of us are transient and may not always be accurate or relevant. The video encourages the viewer to not be overly concerned with pleasing everyone and to focus instead on self-improvement and personal values.

💡Habit

Habit is a routine or practice that is regularly performed and tends to occur subconsciously. The video emphasizes the power of establishing good habits, particularly in the context of self-care and health. The speaker provides examples of how daily habits, such as skincare routines and healthy eating, can have significant long-term effects on one's well-being.

💡Resilience

Resilience is the ability to recover quickly from difficulties or adapt to change. While not explicitly mentioned, the concept is implied in the video's discussion of managing feedback and overcoming obstacles in personal development. The speaker's story of learning tennis later in life exemplifies resilience in the face of perceived disadvantages or setbacks.

💡Authenticity

Authenticity is the state of being true to one's own personality, spirit, or character. The video touches on this concept in the context of not bending one's values and principles to be liked by others. The speaker encourages the viewer to be genuine and to focus on self-improvement rather than seeking validation from others.

💡Perspective

Perspective refers to a particular attitude, way of regarding, or analyzing situations or topics. The video discusses the importance of having the right perspective on oneself and one's abilities, arguing that viewing oneself as 'average' can lead to a balanced approach to life and success. The speaker shares how changing one's perspective can be life-changing and impact how one is treated by others.

Highlights

Lesson one emphasizes the importance of listening to feedback for growth, rather than disregarding all advice.

Being receptive to feedback is crucial for self-improvement, despite the discomfort it may cause.

The analogy of a balloon and air illustrates the balance needed in receiving feedback without being overwhelmed.

Lesson two encourages starting new activities regardless of age, using the speaker's experience with learning tennis as an example.

Consistency is key to achieving success, as demonstrated by the speaker's experience with video editing and weightlifting.

Opinions of others are less important than self-improvement and personal growth.

The importance of not seeking validation from everyone and focusing on self-improvement is highlighted.

Lesson four discusses the inevitability of people moving on and the importance of focusing on personal development.

Establishing good self-care habits early can prevent long-term issues, as illustrated by the speaker's experience with acne.

Healthy lifestyle habits, such as diet and exercise, contribute to long-term well-being and should be established early.

Seeing oneself as average can lead to a balanced perspective on life, promoting humility and hard work.

The impact of self-perception on how others treat you and the importance of self-respect are discussed.

The concept that most people are average and that hard work and consistency are what differentiate individuals is explored.

The potential pitfalls of believing oneself to be either exceptionally gifted or lacking in abilities are outlined.

The importance of not letting self-perception limit one's efforts or potential is emphasized.

The video concludes with the advice to continue working hard and not be deterred by self-perceived limits or gifts.

Transcripts

okay so six lessons that I've learned

from me being on this Earth for almost

29 years touching 30 my name is anas I

am a doctor working in the UK and in

today's video I thought I'd collate some

of these lessons into one simple quick

video so that you can draw some benefits

from them because some of them I didn't

listen to some I only learned quite late

and yeah hopefully it's useful for you

lesson number one just shut up and

listen I know it sounds very aggressive

but let me land here one of the things

that I've noticed in the last few years

is that there's often this narrative

that is pushed that in order to be

successful you need to basically stop

listening to what everybody else is

telling you I don't know why I went

American day but you need to stop

listening to what everyone else is

telling you and just do what the hell

you want to do all the time it's that

story of the underdog you know where

someone is just starting off and they've

got all of these haters and everyone's

telling them that they can't do

something and you can't do this and you

can't do that and despite hearing all of

this they come out successful and these

stories are often true and we find them

really inspiring right but what I've

also learned is that sometimes this sort

of mindset is not really conducive for

growth and it's not great for a lot of

us what people will actually not tell

you is that most people who do great

things did it with the help of loads of

other people people do not improve

without listening to others personally I

found that as a rule it's far more

beneficial to be receptive to feedback

and instead finding a way to effectively

manage that feedback as it comes in and

look it's true that along the way most

of us will meet people who are malicious

people who will say things and do things

with a pure intent of bringing us down

but then this doesn't mean that everyone

else who gives us constructive feedback

is doing it out of malice or is doing it

in order to be harmful and this is true

no matter how uncomfortable or

distressed hearing something bad about

yourself can be being able to

effectively manage feedback is probably

the most important lesson you'll take

away from this

video let me give you a visual example

and in this example you I or all of us

are like balloons right and feedback in

this example is depicted by air and we

can kind of figure out where this

example is going to go because we know

that balloons usually are inflated by

air so going on from this in this

example there are three possibilities

when you take balloon and air outcome

number one the balloon doesn't receive

any air so when the balloon doesn't

receive any air it just stays the same

right it stays deflated it doesn't

really grow and eventually it doesn't

fulfill its purpose as the balloon this

is exactly the same as someone who

doesn't take any feedback in at all they

stay static they stay the same the

mistakes they make they continue to make

they're unaware of them their faults and

weaknesses will be with them for the

rest of their life and that way they

never really reach their full potential

and they eventually don't even fulfill

their purpose outcome number two the

balloon receives loads of NOS of air it

becomes over inflated and eventually it

pops this is the similitude and I know

that's a big word of someone who listens

to everything that everyone else tells

them they take it in and eventually they

crack this leads them to becoming hurt

broken and traumatized and it leads to a

negative feedback loop where the more

they listen the worse off they get

outcome number three the balloon gets

loads and loads of air

similar to the other example but in this

case it has a small hole so that as it

receives the air some of that air

escapes and it prevents it from

eventually bursting and eventually you

know that balloon will also pop just

like all humans won't live forever but

at least that balloon will continue

growing and it will stay inflated for

much longer and this example is similar

to the person who is receptive to

feedback you know they allow the air to

get in they allow the input to come in

but they have a way of filtering out the

bad air or they have a way of managing

the bad feedback they get and it doesn't

affect them in a bad way when they get

bad feedback because they just ignore it

they take in the useful feedback and

they disregard the crappy stuff and you

know I've thought this many times

there's been so many occasions where

I've met someone maybe in a social

setting or in a work setting or whatever

where I've noticed something that they

haven't noticed about themselves and

I've seen them receive some sort of

feedback like in a subtle way by others

but instead of taking it in and making a

change what they do is they just justify

it and I've been a culprit of this

myself a few times where I've been given

feedback and in some way internally I've

reacted badly to it and it's made me

feel a type of way it is in those

moments that we need to sort of catch

ourselves and assess The credibility of

that feedback and decide you know do we

take this in and make a change or do we

just kind of ignore

it lesson number two it's never too late

to start even if you think that it's too

late and I remember one particular day

in 2009 I had just moved to the UK I had

basically no friends and I was trying to

find something new to do and I had the

thought of starting to play tennis so I

went online and I did a few Google

searches but then I also thought like

flip I'm 1450 which now in hindsight is

is you know super young people would

have started playing tennis at seven or

8 years old and I would be so behind

that you know there was no point in

starting at all and so that fleeting

thought which I definitely had because I

remember I had it never really

materialized until Co in 2020 where you

know we were all released and allowed to

go out and I decided to pick up tennis

quite seriously streets across England

were bursting with people today eager to

break free of lockdown and that summer I

play tennis almost every day because I

just graduated from uni I was you know

free every day to do whatever I wanted I

became quite decent to where I can play

like I can play a proper game I can hold

the rally I can hold my own amongst the

people that I

[Applause]

know but then this takes me back to my

initial thought what would have happened

if I had actually taken that fleeting

thought quite seriously and I had

started playing tennis at 14 and 15 I

was completely Paralyzed by the thought

of being too old and so I let it deter

me from even trying at all I think about

how much better I would have been had I

started at that time and what

experiences I missed out on not starting

at that time I would have had literally

14 or 15 years of experience in my belt

right now but then I also think about

how amazing it's actually been that I

eventually did start you know had I

thought that you know I was too old at

21 and not started then I would have

missed out on all of these experiences

I've had in the last you know 3 to four

years of playing I've played probably a

few hundred games at least 1 thousand

hours of tennis and it's been pretty

good the main takeaway point from this

is try new things it's not really too

late and when you do try those things

keep doing it and don't stop basically

lesson number three and this is going to

sound cliche but really important

consistency consistency is something

we've heard about over and over again

but it's hard to truly appreciate unless

you know you reflect on its impact into

your own life so for example let me

reflect on it now anytime that I started

something new and I've been consistent

with it amazing things have happened for

example this channel I started with no

editing experience having never gone to

University for it having never attended

some sort of course but after being

consistent I was able to produce great

stories do animations and you know learn

about film making that's one example of

consistency the other side is for

example training training for me has

largely been a failure specifically

weightlifting in the last 10 years I

have tried to be consistent with

weightlifting so many times I'll do it

for 3 4 months and make amazing progress

and then as soon as something comes up

like exam or some sort of life event

training is the first thing that comes

off my to-do list and so you know I

regress backwards and this happened over

and over and over again probably more

than 15 years to be honest and it makes

me think now what would have happened

had I just stayed consistent with it

what sort of insane progress

unimaginable progress would I have made

if I had just stuck with it and having

said all of that it's not too late now

either but there's definitely been a

loss to some of that inconsistency

that's

happened lesson number four everybody

will move on or at least most people I

remember in my younger days although I

don't want to admit it I did have a sort

or a sense of self-consciousness at

times I'll tell myself I don't really

care what people think but there has

been a small element of that regardless

of my age but I feel that I've also

learned that with the caveat that

people's feedback is important and so

what people think of you can be

important at times it does not actually

matter what people think of you most

people will only cross paths with you

for a very short time and there are only

a few whose paths will align with yours

the people who cross paths with you will

form an opinion of you they might not

like the way you dress the way you speak

your religion your values where you're

from and a lot of that will also be

projected onto you and might not even be

true at all on one hand there might

actually be something wrong that you

need to fix you know you might just be a

very rude person and it makes you

dislikable or you have no empathy in

which case that is actually something

that you need to change if you find that

you're always disliked and everyone's

giving you negative feedback all the

time there might actually be a basis to

it but if you find that XY Z person

doesn't like you for whatever reason and

after some proper reflection you come to

the conclusion that there's no actual

valid reason for it then do not hesitate

to fully move on quick time always

working and trying to get everybody to

like you takes away your focus from

actual self-improvement there is a very

fine balance here to be likable is

actually a good thing but to try and be

liked when someone dislikes you for no

valid reason just brings you anxiety and

then you try harder to be liked and you

bend your values and principles which

leads to being more disliked all the

while you'll never see these people in 2

years 5 years or even 10 years instead

focus on becoming a better version of

yourself in the absence of other people

in that equation the people that was

around at 10 years old are not the same

people that was around at 20 years old

who are not the same as those that I'm

around now so remember focus on yourself

and people will just continue moving

on lesson number five establish good

self-care habits when I was around 19 to

20 not 1920 not that old I started

having really bad acne breakouts and at

the time I thought I guess this is just

part of growing up I just accepted it

and decided not to do anything about it

I also thought that you know I shouldn't

really be caring about skin related

stuff anyway this meant that it

continued getting worse because I wasn't

doing anything about it Formed scarring

and there are some scars that to this

day will not go away unless there's some

more invasive intervention and you know

what minor it's not a big deal in the

grand scheme of things but there are

some lessons that you can actually

extract from this example this is

something that could have been easily

and simply prevented and addressed

through a simple skincare routine it

would have treated acne prevented the

acne and so I would have had any

long-term complications at all and this

would have also meant that I would reap

the long-term rewards of having a

consistent skincare routine like you

know stopping sun damage and whatever

this is just one example of how simple

daily habits can prevent long-term

issues and your future self will thank

you for making those decisions today and

as I said this is a minting right we can

extrapolate this example to loads of

other things like for example healthy

eating one of the things that surprised

me when I travel to places like Spain

and Italy the Mediterranean in general

is that you know when you're walking the

street you see some quite elderly people

maybe in their 80s 70s but they look

really well for their age you know

they'd be walking around comfortably

with their shopping bags walking the dog

and you think wow is this 8-year-old

moving around like their 55 this is

contrary to many other places in the

world and and I know this as a medic

these people have lived active

Lifestyles they've been eating much

healthier than other people in other

parts of the world and this has meant

that decades and Decades of a healthy

lifestyle has led to a long-term reward

establishing healthy habits like Diet

exercise hygiene spiritual habits will

not only make you feel good right now

but also make you feel good in the long

term

and now lesson number six see yourself

as average this is something that I've

been implementing for quite some time

and is of the most life-changing

perspectives I've had see the way you

see yourself impacts firstly yourself

but also others and the way they behave

around you in a huge way it affects the

way people treat you because if you see

yourself as not deserving of respect or

good treatment then other people will

test you and they will treat you the way

you accept to be treated on the other

hand if you see yourself as above others

deserving of praise and admiration for

things you haven't done then you'll be

disappointed depressed and hate yourself

and others but if you see yourself as

the same as others no more and no less

then you'll challenge disrespect and

remain humble in the face of failure or

success and in fact I would say it

directly affects your ability to succeed

there's no doubt and it's obvious that

some people are better at certain things

than others or they have the potential

to be better at certain things than

others genetic variation or

socioeconomic background or location or

who you have around you money Etc all

have an impact they all mean that some

people have the advantage over others

some people have the advantage in

athletics or in academics or in

entrepreneurship or manual labor or

whatever but as a general rule variance

amongst people will follow a normal

distribution or otherwise the bell curve

you have a few people at the top and a

few people at the bottom but most people

are in the middle so the question that

comes out of this is how should knowing

this arbitrary fact affect our decision

making for me the answer is it shouldn't

affect it at all and the reason for that

is we don't actually know where we lie

on that curve there's no reliable way of

figuring out where we can plot ourselves

on that curve we don't know if we might

be at the top we don't know if we might

be at the bottom and the most likelihood

is that we'll be somewhere in the middle

with everyone else and so the logical

conclusion from this is that for the

most part the differentiating factor

between all of these people and all of

us in the middle is going to be to name

a few hard work the amount of research

you do your consistency and these are

all things that we can actually have an

impact on things that we can affect and

take control of giving too much weight

to the possibility of being at the top

or being at the bottom of this belt

curve can actually be detrimental take

for example a person who wants to be a

computer scientist and they want to

build this huge app that does amazing

things right if for example they see

themselves as a low IQ individual what

might happen is that they might stop

prematurely or alternatively it might

deter them from trying at all which

means that they will definitely not

reach their full potential if for

example they see themselves as having

been gifted right gifted this ability

from God that they just have a knack for

crunching numbers and solving problems

they may feel like because they've been

gifted they don't need to put in as much

work as everyone else and eventually

years and years down the line they find

themselves stuck in the same position

that they were before and they may find

that even if true that they've been

gifted with some potential they don't

actually reach that potential and

they've held themselves back essentially

this is completely different to the

person who sees themselves in the middle

they'll continue working hard and they

won't be phased by the possibility that

they've reached their limit already and

again they'll work hard despite the

possibility that they've been gifted in

this area and all in all they will just

continue reaching New Heights there is

literally no lost to this mindset it's a

win-win no matter what happens except

that there's a very tiny caveat that we

also need to know when to stop and pivot

our attention and focus to other things

but I think that is a different video