you left jesus. what do you believe now?
Summary
TLDRThe speaker reflects on their journey away from Christianity, embracing ambiguity and uncertainty in their beliefs. They express admiration for those with unwavering faith but find value in evolution and questioning. Identifying as a skeptic with a naturalistic inclination, they acknowledge a lingering desire to believe despite not actively pursuing it. The speaker likens their spiritual exploration to being 'spiritually single,' open to experiences without forcing belief, and finds comfort in the idea of letting insights come naturally rather than desperately seeking them.
Takeaways
- π The speaker expresses a fondness for anaerobic beings and coffee beans from the East African region, particularly Kenyan and Ethiopian beans.
- π The script acknowledges that Ethiopia is known for being the birthplace of coffee, which is a point of pride for the country.
- π€ The speaker grapples with the question of belief, especially after leaving Christianity, and emphasizes the importance of personal journey and evolution in beliefs.
- π The speaker rejects the idea of rigidity in belief systems and suggests that change and adaptation are natural parts of personal growth.
- π Drawing a parallel to an 'Army brat', the speaker describes feeling transient and unsettled in their current beliefs, much like someone who frequently moves.
- π« The speaker clearly states they no longer believe in Christianity as they once did, specifically rejecting the faith's doctrines and teachings.
- π§ The speaker identifies as a natural skeptic, particularly towards supernatural claims and experiences that cannot be verified.
- π± Despite leaning towards naturalism and atheism, the speaker does not label themselves as an atheist, acknowledging a lingering desire to believe.
- π The speaker finds it tiresome to not believe in certain spiritual concepts and expresses a longing for a more open-minded and exploratory mindset.
- π The speaker compares actively seeking belief to searching for lost keys, suggesting that sometimes ceasing the search allows for unexpected insights and realizations.
- ποΈ The speaker is currently in a 'single season' spiritually, embracing the uncertainty and openness of not having a defined belief system.
Q & A
What is the speaker's favorite type of coffee and why?
-The speaker's favorite type of coffee is from the East African region, specifically Kenyan and Ethiopian beans, which they describe as 'stupendous'.
Why is Ethiopia significant in the context of coffee?
-Ethiopia is significant because it is credited with being the birthplace of coffee, where the first coffee beans were discovered.
What does the speaker imply about their language regarding their process out of faith?
-The speaker implies that their language may be ambiguous and could annoy or frustrate some Christians, as it does not provide clear-cut answers about their beliefs post-Christianity.
What does the speaker mean by 'my journey is not over' in the context of their beliefs?
-The speaker means that their personal journey of belief and understanding is ongoing, and they have not reached a final conclusion or destination in their beliefs.
How does the speaker view the virtue of unwavering belief in a specific doctrine?
-The speaker does not view unwavering belief in a specific doctrine as a virtue, suggesting that evolution and change in beliefs are natural and not necessarily negative.
What is the speaker's view on the stability of beliefs compared to their own transient state?
-The speaker admires those with stable beliefs but also acknowledges their own transient state, feeling somewhat unsettled without a clear 'home' in terms of beliefs.
What is the speaker's current stance on Christianity?
-The speaker no longer believes in Christianity as the way, the truth, and the life, and does not believe in Jesus as previously understood within the Christian faith.
What is the speaker's natural inclination towards claims of the supernatural?
-The speaker is a natural skeptic and tends to view claims of the supernatural, mysticism, or unverifiable spiritual experiences with skepticism.
Why does the speaker hesitate to label themselves as an atheist?
-The speaker hesitates to label themselves as an atheist because they do not actively pursue unbelief in God, and there is a part of them that still wants to believe.
How does the speaker feel about the idea of being 'spiritually single'?
-The speaker is okay with being 'spiritually single,' comparing it to being in a single season of life, and is open to whatever might come in the future.
What analogy does the speaker use to describe their current approach to spirituality?
-The speaker uses the analogy of lucid dreaming and the behavior of their niece to describe their approach to spirituality, suggesting that by not actively seeking it, they may attract it more naturally.
Outlines
β Ethiopian Coffee and Personal Beliefs
The speaker begins by expressing admiration for East African coffee beans, particularly from Kenya and Ethiopia, and shares an interesting fact about the origin of coffee in Ethiopia. The discussion then transitions to the speaker's journey of leaving Christianity, addressing questions about their current beliefs. They emphasize the ongoing nature of their spiritual journey and the importance of being open to change and growth.
ποΈ Skepticism and Belief in Spirituality
The speaker elaborates on their skepticism towards mysticism, spirituality, and supernatural claims, noting a tendency towards naturalism. They discuss the difficulty of labeling themselves as an atheist due to an underlying desire to believe in something. The speaker shares a conversation with a friend about past lives, expressing frustration with their predisposition to disbelief but also acknowledging a weariness of this skepticism.
π The Search for Meaning and Acceptance of Uncertainty
The speaker reflects on the concept of searching for meaning and how sometimes giving up the search can lead to unexpected discoveries. They compare this to losing and finding keys, suggesting that stopping the active search can allow things to appear naturally. The speaker relates this to their spiritual journey, noting that becoming too aware can disrupt the natural flow of experiences. They conclude by accepting the current uncertainty in their beliefs and the importance of embracing a 'single' season in their spiritual life.
Mindmap
Keywords
π‘Anaerobic beings
π‘East African region of beans
π‘Ethiopia
π‘Christianity
π‘Faith
π‘Ambiguity
π‘Skepticism
π‘Atheism
π‘Spirituality
π‘Belief
π‘Single season
Highlights
The speaker expresses a deep appreciation for anaerobic beings and East African coffee beans, particularly Kenyan and Ethiopian beans.
Ethiopia is credited with the origination of coffee beans, which is a point of pride for the speaker.
The speaker acknowledges the ambiguity in their language regarding their process out of faith and the potential annoyance it causes to some Christians.
A reiteration of the importance of not knowing one's destination in life, as it allows for personal growth and change.
The speaker reflects on the virtue of unwavering belief in a specific doctrine within Christianity and their evolving perspective on it.
A comparison of the speaker's current state of belief to the transient lifestyle of 'Army brats', highlighting the unsettling nature of uncertainty.
The speaker admires those who have found a stable belief system but also values the journey of personal evolution.
A critique of the expectation to hold a firm belief system and the speaker's departure from Christianity.
The speaker's skepticism towards mysticism, spirituality, and the supernatural, and their naturalist tendencies.
An admission of the speaker's struggle with disbelief and the desire to believe in something beyond the natural world.
A discussion on the human tendency to personify and attribute agency to inanimate things or events, particularly within the black community.
The speaker's observation that non-belief is still seen as unusual and often met with curiosity or suspicion by others.
An analogy comparing the search for spiritual belief to looking for lost keys, suggesting that sometimes surrendering the search can lead to unexpected insights.
The speaker's current stance of being 'spiritually single', embracing the uncertainty and open-endedness of their belief system.
A reflection on the idea that spirituality and wisdom may come when one is not actively seeking them, similar to finding lost items.
The speaker's comparison of their spiritual journey to lucid dreaming, where awareness and surrender can lead to profound experiences.
A conclusion that it's okay to be in a 'single season' of spirituality, allowing for personal growth and preparation for what may come.
Transcripts
foreign
it is amazing anaerobic beings are like
one of my favorite if not my favorite
and East African region of beans are my
favorite as well Kenyan and Ethiopian
beans are ugh stupendous shout out to
East Africa specifically today shout out
to Ethiopia did you know the first
coffee beans the first coffee should I
say was founded was made in Ethiopia it
is no surprise should I say that
Ethiopia has some of the best coffee
well if my videos
prior to this have not already
frustrated Christians enough uh annoyed
some Christians I know this one is
probably going to do worse I think some
people
are a bit annoyed with the ambiguity of
my language that I use regarding you
know my process out of Faith but in any
case I will try to answer this question
what do you believe now that's one of
the questions that have been very common
since I've left Christianity and I want
to start this off by saying or
reiterating a point that I made in one
of my earlier videos that you don't have
to know where you're going to know that
you should not stay so there's going to
be a lot of ambiguity there's going to
be a lot of vagueness in my answer I'll
try to be as concrete as possible out of
respect for those who really are
interested but I also have no shame in
knowing that the my journey is not over
my journey is not completed I have not
landed fully where I will be for the
rest of my life I think that in
Christian Christianity when I was in the
faith you know I saw it as a virtue many
people see it as a virtue to find
something that you believe in and not
just something but a very particular
brand of something say you've been
reformed or say you've been Pentecostal
or say you've believed in this
particular
set of doctrines for 10 20 plus years
and you've stuck by that with with very
little variation that was seen as a
virtue that was lauded that you could do
that I don't see it as of so much as a
virtue I don't necessarily see it as a
vice but it's also not necessarily a
virtue like or should I say it's not
necessarily a vice that you change it's
not necessarily a con that you evolve as
a person as you consider things more
deeply and you continue through life
things change I do in still some ways
admire people who have stuck by what
they believe that they've found a
resting place and they're just kind of
moved in that space and they know
they're going to move in that space for
the rest of their life that sounds so
stable you know I grew up in a military
base around a military base at least
Fort Hood Texas one of the largest if
not the largest army base in the world
it was not uncommon to have friends who
bounced around all the time they were
what we call Army brats they grew up in
15 different places in their life you
know I was fortunate enough that I
didn't have that issue my dad got out of
the army fairly early and we just kind
of stayed in the area but I was
acquainted with so many people who would
land somewhere with this sort of notion
in the background knowing that they're
going to be somewhere else or that
there's a possibility they'll be
somewhere else in the next two or three
years and that thought was pretty
unsettling kids don't like having to
make new friends and get adjusted and
finally feel like they like some people
and some people like them and then have
to go somewhere else that's a tough
thing for a kid they get used to it but
they also develop some sort of
Tendencies and mechanisms within
themselves to sort of prepare themselves
to be disconnected from people that they
really enjoy I feel that way I feel
somewhat like the Army brat these days
I'm not quite sure where I'll be in the
next two years and I sort of in some way
if I could say it this way I'm a bit
envious of people who are where they're
going to be and they've they've got
their home there and they're going to
just be there for the next 20 30 years
until they die but people like me can be
very transient it feels honest for me to
be transient but I can't say that I
fully enjoy it I do fully enjoy the idea
there's parts of me that enjoys the idea
of knowing that I'm being honest with
myself and I'm evolving and that there
is a better more rounded person of me on
the other side coming along and I am
sort of interested in the adventure and
the journey of learning and and truly
being more open-minded than I was before
and what that type of mindset will give
me the opportunity to experience I'm
excited about that but I must be honest
in saying that um it's also a little
unsettling
you know
to feel like you don't quite have a home
yet
in this series of talks I I will I'll be
honest in my critique of religion and
Christianity specifically and
specifically my own experiences within
religion but I also try to be honest
about my critiques outside of this
honest about my frustrations with this
side of it as well you know everyone's
life has uncertainty what do I believe
now Joe come on get to the topic she's
bro my goodness
by the way you know you got a good cup
of coffee if it can be not hot and still
be flavorful and good I think maybe one
approach to defining what I believe now
I might be easier to Define what I don't
believe and maybe I'll try to you know
herd what I actually believe and kind of
corner it somewhere obviously one I
don't believe in I don't believe in
Christianity and maybe I'll make a
separate video about what are what do I
believe now about Christian how do I
make sense of Jesus and certain
teachings of the Bible um but just in
general I don't believe that the faith
of belief in Jesus as the way the truth
in the life I I no longer believe that
as of now right I can tell you what my
Tendencies are as well in that what I
don't normally believe I know that I'm
just a natural-born skeptic and I'm just
every hint now especially of mysticism
or spirituality or Supernatural I know
that I have a pre presupposition all of
us do I'm very aware of my
presuppositions or at least I try to be
I try to be honest about them and I'm
aware that I tend to look at things with
a side eye when someone claims a
prophecy or a supernatural experience
that they had that wasn't verifiable I
tend to be a naturalist at heart I think
that I know I'm aware that much of what
I tend to lean to begins to sound like
atheism begins to sound like someone who
doesn't believe that there is not just a
God but just it's spiritual and
Supernatural forces at play in general
I know that's my tendency but the reason
why I won't label myself particularly an
atheist is because I want I don't have
an active like it's not like I'm
pursuing an unbelief in God or pursuing
the persuasion of others to have
disbelief in God but also it's because
not much has changed in me in the sense
that I still I know there's something in
me that wants to believe you know I
remember uh just recently A friend of
mine I think we were talking about oh I
think she was bringing up this idea of
um you know meeting someone in another
life you know you know do you think you
have could have met someone in another
life and they believed in that and asked
me if I believed in that and I said well
you know me I I tend not to believe in
stuff like that I don't know how much
good it does for me to believe in that
but then what I said after that was
quite interesting was the first time I
had said it was the first time I really
had thought it I think or at least
organized the words to think it
organized the thoughts and it was this
is what I said I said but but I am tired
of not believing in stuff
I think those were my exact words it can
be
a bit annoying to have that kind of
disposition where whether it be
astrology or Incarnation or I mean
reincarnation or even Incarnation for
that matter right the the Incarnation of
God in Christ and I know that it is a
sort of it is a very normal thing for
Christians or for people should I say
for humans to want to attribute agency
personification of inanimate things or
events in their lives I know that that
would make me in step with the Heritage
before me of humans and particularly
black humans right I think black people
across the world are some of the most
spiritual people there are it becomes
kind of an it's frustrating because even
you know even in La like I live in LA
now and everyone's spiritual but not
religious right and I remember what God
was telling me like where I was at how I
left Christianity and all that he still
asked me but you still believe in in God
though right like he was cool with all
everything else I was saying but people
want to know that you still believe in
so you so still even non-belief is still
very much the minority people still kind
of look at you weird that you just you
can believe in astrology and what's it
called Reiki and you know energy healers
and all that stuff all that stuff's out
here people are always okay with that
but not okay with you being just like oh
but you don't believe anything and again
it's not an active disbelief it's just
that I know my Tendencies you know but I
will say this side of things it is at
least a little easier to be okay with
the open-endedness of the disbelief
rather than trying to force myself into
belief so meaning that I think now I
tweeted the other day you know the Bible
says seeking you shall find and people
keep telling me that about God telling
me seeking you shall find you haven't
really looked for him I think I'm in a
space right now which I have been for a
while but I think I'm more decisively in
this space where I have stopped really
like looking and I think that's such an
interesting comparison to some of y'all
even saw the video I did when the First
videos I did on this channel where I
actually lost my key these could not
find them have you ever noticed that
when you lose something you look so hard
for it I mean you turn the place up
pillows off the freaking couch sheets on
the floor drawers open with clothes
falling out of them man it's like bro I
just had my keys an hour ago how are
they this lost yet and you get so
frustrated and you stop looking for it
and then all of a sudden as you stop
looking for you look over and the keys
are like sitting there in plain sight
next to you when you kind of pause and
it's ironic that it seems to be someone
obviously I think the more you look for
something the more you will I think
that's the tendency you know don't go
looking for something that you don't
want to find because chances are you may
find something you ain't yourself you
don't want to find nothing just don't go
through his phone so that is a tendency
too but there's also a tendency it seems
that at least in my life I've also
noticed when I stopped looking for
something it tends to just pop up and I
think that's in the space that I'm in my
life right now where I've kind of given
up on the search and in that when I've
sort of truly surrendered to that idea
some good thoughts and wisdom and
spirituality even is has been kind of
coming out of that and I don't want to
become aware of it too much it's kind of
like a dream you know when I was a kid I
can't do it as much as an adult it's
crazy I could lucid dream like all the
freaking time basically I could have a
dream and then within the dream be aware
of it and be like Oh I'm in a dream I
can do whatever the heck I want to do in
this dream and I just do whatever I want
no illegal stuff
I just start stealing candy and stuff
from stores because I know like I can do
this because it's a dream so I might as
well and get over you know I might as
well get it in while I'm here right I
can't do that these days when I become
aware that I'm Dreaming now I try to let
go of that thought because I know if I
become too aware of it the dream will
just kind of fade away that's kind of
where I'm at with the spirituality in
the sense of like I don't want to become
too aware of my journey
too aware of like what I'm looking for
or that it's coming to me you know that
these Beautiful Moments have been kind
of showing up at my door I don't want to
become too aware of it because then like
that's when I'll start trying to make it
come to me and then that's when it goes
away one of my nieces I was like a niece
like my God needs to me she's like she
does not like when people are all up in
her face if you are trying to get
attention from her she will give you
less attention like that's her Mo but
for the people who are just kind of
nonchalant with her like kind of show up
and just be and just like hey yo if you
want to hang out with me you can if not
I understand too those are the people
that she's drawn to the people who are
just like you know that might be I don't
know that might be what spirituality
might be like for me where maybe I'll
attract it if I don't go like begging
for its attention and just kind of
letting things come so
um that's one long answer for saying I'm
not quite sure what I believe right now
I'm not quite sure and I'm okay with
that I just left the relationship with
Christianity it's okay to be single for
a while all right let's just be
spiritually single well I'm in my single
season right now single it's okay to
kind of be in your single single season
as you prepare for
whatever might be ahead
so
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