Who are you, really? The puzzle of personality | Brian Little | TED

Summary

In this engaging script, a personality psychologist explores the OCEAN model, detailing how 'openness, conscientiousness, extroversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism' shape individual personalities. With humor, the speaker delves into the behaviors of introverts and extroverts, highlighting their differences in social interaction and personal projects. The talk emphasizes the importance of understanding one's unique traits and projects beyond general personality types, advocating for a nuanced view of human behavior.

Takeaways

• 🧠 The speaker is a psychologist with a focus on personality psychology, which is part of a broader personality science.
• 🔍 The field of personality psychology uses trait psychology to categorize individuals along five dimensions, known as OCEAN: Openness, Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Agreeableness, and Neuroticism.
• 🤔 The speaker humorously addresses the audience, suggesting that everyone has unique psychological traits, even if they consider themselves boring or 'twits'.
• 💡 Openness and conscientiousness are identified as strong predictors of life success, with different paths to achieving it.
• 👥 Extroverts and introverts have different social behaviors, with extroverts seeking more stimulation and introverts preferring quieter environments.
• 😄 The speaker uses humor to illustrate personality differences, such as the inability of most people to lick their own elbow and the extroverted tendency to try it on others.
• 🌐 The speaker discusses the three natures of human personality: biogenic (physiological), sociogenic (cultural and social), and idiogenic (individual and unique).
• 👀 Extroverts tend to communicate more directly and prefer closeness and eye contact, while introverts are more reserved and cautious in social interactions.
• 💬 The language preferences of extroverts and introverts differ, with extroverts favoring simple and direct language, and introverts preferring complex and nuanced expressions.
• 🤝 Personal projects and 'free traits' can influence how individuals act, sometimes causing them to behave contrary to their typical personality traits.
• 🔄 Acting out of character for extended periods can lead to a need for personal recovery time, especially for introverts who may feel overstimulated.

Q & A

What is the field of study the speaker is associated with?

The speaker is associated with the field of personality psychology, which is part of a larger personality science.

What does the acronym OCEAN stand for in the context of personality traits?

OCEAN stands for Openness to experience, Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Agreeableness, and Neuroticism, which are five dimensions used to describe universally held aspects of difference between people.

How does the speaker describe the difference between extroverts and introverts in terms of social interaction?

Extroverts are described as needing stimulation and tending to gather in social events, while introverts prefer quieter spaces to reduce stimulation and may be misconstrued as antisocial.

What is the humorous example the speaker gives to demonstrate the difference between extroverts and introverts?

The speaker humorously mentions that extroverts are more likely to try and lick the elbow of the person sitting next to them, whereas introverts are less likely to do so.

How does the speaker explain the concept of 'free traits'?

Free traits are behaviors where individuals act out of character to advance a core project in their lives, such as being disagreeable to break down bureaucratic barriers for a loved one.

What is the speaker's personal stance on labeling people by their personality traits?

The speaker is uncomfortable with labeling people by their personality traits and emphasizes that individuals are both like some other people and like no other person.

How does the speaker describe the communication style of extroverts?

Extroverts prefer concrete, simple language, and tend to use diminutive terms and stand close for comfortable communication with lots of eye contact.

What is the speaker's view on the importance of personal projects in understanding a person's personality?

The speaker believes that personal projects are crucial for understanding a person's idiosyncratic nature and that they should be asked about their core projects rather than their personality type.

How does the speaker relate to the concept of 'idiogenic' nature?

The speaker explains 'idiogenic' nature as the unique, individual aspects of a person that make them distinct, beyond their personality traits.

What is the humorous anecdote the speaker shares about his experience as an introvert in a men's room?

The speaker shares an anecdote about seeking refuge in a men's room cubicle to avoid overstimulation, only to be recognized and addressed by an extrovert in the next cubicle.

What is the implication of the speaker's discussion on the frequency of sexual intercourse among introverts and extroverts?

The speaker uses this discussion to highlight the differences in behavior and tendencies between introverts and extroverts, with extroverts engaging in the act more frequently.

Outlines

00:00

🧠 Introduction to Audience's Psychological Traits

The speaker humorously addresses the audience, noting that many display psychological symptoms worth discussing. They explain their field, personality psychology, which seeks to understand individual differences and similarities using the OCEAN model: Openness, Conscientiousness, Extroversion, Agreeableness, and Neuroticism. These traits affect life outcomes, with extroverts and conscientious individuals often achieving success in distinct ways.

05:01

🎉 Differences Between Extroverts and Introverts

Extroverts need external stimulation and thrive in social settings, such as loud parties. Introverts, however, seek quiet environments to reduce stimulation and may be misunderstood as antisocial. The speaker highlights that caffeine affects these groups differently and touches on the varied sexual behavior and communication styles of introverts and extroverts. Extroverts prefer direct, concrete language, while introverts use more complex and nuanced speech.

10:05

🤔 The Complexity of Personality and Personal Projects

The speaker contrasts their introverted communication style with an extroverted colleague, emphasizing how these differences affect interactions. They argue that personality traits alone don't define us; our personal projects and the roles we play in life are crucial. Acting out of character can be necessary for important goals, but prolonged behavior against one's nature can be draining. The speaker shares personal anecdotes, illustrating the need for balance and self-care, especially for introverts.

Keywords

💡Personality Psychology

Personality psychology is a branch of psychology that focuses on understanding the patterns of behavior, thought, and emotion that make up an individual's personality. In the video, the speaker, a personality psychologist, uses this field to explore how individuals in the audience are similar to or different from one another, and how these differences can be categorized and understood.

💡OCEAN

OCEAN is an acronym representing the five major dimensions of personality as described by trait psychology: Openness to experience, Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Agreeableness, and Neuroticism. The speaker uses OCEAN to explain the natural distribution of personality traits among people and how these traits can predict life outcomes, such as success and well-being.

💡Extraversion

Extraversion refers to a personality trait characterized by outgoing, assertive, and sociable behavior. The speaker discusses extraversion in the context of how extroverts seek stimulation and interact with others, often preferring a more direct and engaging communication style. The script provides examples of extroverted behavior, such as attempting to lick one's elbow or engaging in social activities.

💡Introversion

Introversion is the opposite of extraversion and is characterized by a preference for solitude or less stimulating environments. The speaker contrasts introverts with extroverts, noting that introverts may seek quieter spaces and are not necessarily antisocial but rather prefer lower levels of stimulation. The script also mentions how introverts communicate differently, using more complex language.

💡Conscientiousness

Conscientiousness is a personality trait that involves being careful, thorough, and reliable. The speaker mentions that conscientious individuals achieve success by adhering to deadlines and persevering, which is an important aspect of their contribution to life success as described by trait psychology.

💡Agreeableness

Agreeableness is a personality trait that reflects an individual's tendency to be compassionate, cooperative, and considerate. The speaker explains that agreeable people work well with others, contrasting them with those who are less agreeable, and how this trait can affect social interactions and relationships.

💡Neuroticism

Neuroticism is a personality trait associated with emotional instability and proneness to negative emotions such as anxiety and anger. The speaker contrasts neurotic individuals with those who are more emotionally stable, discussing how this trait can influence a person's well-being and life experiences.

💡Idiogenic Nature

The speaker introduces the term 'idiogenic nature' to describe the unique, individual aspects of a person that go beyond their personality traits. This concept is used to emphasize that while traits can describe similarities and differences among people, it is the individual's personal projects and unique behaviors that truly define them.

💡Personal Projects

Personal projects refer to the individual goals, tasks, or endeavors that a person is engaged in. The speaker suggests that understanding a person's personal projects can provide deeper insight into their behavior and character than simply categorizing them by personality traits. Examples from the script include a parent's concern for a sick child or an individual's professional role.

💡Free Traits

Free traits are behaviors that an individual may exhibit in service of their personal projects, even if these behaviors are not typical of their general personality. The speaker discusses how people may act out of character to advance their personal goals, such as an agreeable person acting disagreeably to overcome bureaucratic obstacles for a loved one.

💡Stimulation

Stimulation, in the context of the video, refers to the external or internal factors that excite or activate an individual. The speaker explains that extroverts typically require more stimulation, such as social events or loud noises, to feel engaged and energized, while introverts may seek to reduce stimulation for optimal functioning.

Highlights

The speaker is a psychologist fascinated by the audience's psychological symptoms and personality traits.

Introduction to the field of personality psychology and its focus on understanding individual differences.

Explanation of the OCEAN model of personality traits.

The impact of personality traits on life success and well-being.

The difference between introverts and extroverts in social settings and their need for stimulation.

Humor about the inability to lick one's own elbow and how it relates to extroversion.

The three natures of human personality: biogenic, sociogenic, and idiogenic.

The influence of caffeine on extroverts versus introverts.

The communication styles of extroverts and introverts, including personal space and language use.

The humorous comparison of extroverted and introverted sexual behavior frequencies.

The importance of understanding personal projects over personality traits.

The concept of 'free traits' and how they can influence behavior in service of personal projects.

The speaker's personal experience as an introvert and how it influences his professional behavior.

The potential downsides of acting out of character for extended periods.

A humorous anecdote about the speaker's need for solitude as an introvert.

Transcripts

What an intriguing group of individuals you are ...

to a psychologist.

(Laughter)

I've had the opportunity over the last couple of days

of listening in on some of your conversations

and watching you interact with each other.

And I think it's fair to say, already,

that there are 47 people in this audience,

at this moment,

displaying psychological symptoms I would like to discuss today.

(Laughter)

And I thought you might like to know who you are.

(Laughter)

But instead of pointing at you,

which would be gratuitous and intrusive,

I thought I would tell you a few facts and stories,

in which you may catch a glimpse of yourself.

I'm in the field of research known as personality psychology,

which is part of a larger personality science

which spans the full spectrum, from neurons to narratives.

And what we try to do,

in our own way,

is to make sense of how each of us --

each of you --

is, in certain respects,

like all other people,

like some other people

and like no other person.

Now, already you may be saying of yourself,

"I'm not intriguing.

I am the 46th most boring person in the Western Hemisphere."

Or you may say of yourself,

"I am intriguing,

even if I am regarded by most people as a great, thundering twit."

(Laughter)

But it is your self-diagnosed boringness and your inherent "twitiness"

that makes me, as a psychologist, really fascinated by you.

So let me explain why this is so.

One of the most influential approaches in personality science

is known as trait psychology,

and it aligns you along five dimensions which are normally distributed,

and that describe universally held aspects of difference between people.

They spell out the acronym OCEAN.

So, "O" stands for "open to experience,"

versus those who are more closed.

"C" stands for "conscientiousness,"

in contrast to those with a more lackadaisical approach to life.

"E" -- "extroversion," in contrast to more introverted people.

"A" -- "agreeable individuals,"

in contrast to those decidedly not agreeable.

And "N" -- "neurotic individuals,"

in contrast to those who are more stable.

All of these dimensions have implications for our well-being,

for how our life goes.

And so we know that, for example,

openness and conscientiousness are very good predictors of life success,

but the open people achieve that success through being audacious

and, occasionally, odd.

The conscientious people achieve it through sticking to deadlines,

to persevering, as well as having some passion.

Extroversion and agreeableness are both conducive

to working well with people.

Extroverts, for example, I find intriguing.

With my classes, I sometimes give them a basic fact

that might be revealing with respect to their personality:

I tell them that it is virtually impossible for adults

to lick the outside of their own elbow.

(Laughter)

Did you know that?

Already, some of you have tried to lick the outside of your own elbow.

But extroverts amongst you

are probably those who have not only tried,

but they have successfully licked the elbow

of the person sitting next to them.

(Laughter)

Those are the extroverts.

Let me deal in a bit more detail with extroversion,

because it's consequential and it's intriguing,

and it helps us understand what I call our three natures.

First, our biogenic nature -- our neurophysiology.

Second, our sociogenic or second nature,

which has to do with the cultural and social aspects of our lives.

And third, what makes you individually you -- idiosyncratic --

what I call your "idiogenic" nature.

Let me explain.

One of the things that characterizes extroverts is they need stimulation.

And that stimulation can be achieved by finding things that are exciting:

loud noises, parties and social events here at TED --

you see the extroverts forming a magnetic core.

They all gather together.

And I've seen you.

The introverts are more likely to spend time in the quiet spaces

up on the second floor,

where they are able to reduce stimulation --

and may be misconstrued as being antisocial,

but you're not necessarily antisocial.

It may be that you simply realize that you do better

when you have a chance to lower that level of stimulation.

Sometimes it's an internal stimulant, from your body.

Caffeine, for example, works much better with extroverts than it does introverts.

When extroverts come into the office at nine o'clock in the morning

and say, "I really need a cup of coffee,"

they're not kidding --

they really do.

Introverts do not do as well,

particularly if the tasks they're engaged in --

and they've had some coffee --

if those tasks are speeded,

and if they're quantitative,

introverts may give the appearance of not being particularly quantitative.

But it's a misconstrual.

So here are the consequences that are really quite intriguing:

we're not always what seem to be,

and that takes me to my next point.

I should say, before getting to this,

something about sexual intercourse,

although I may not have time.

And so, if you would like me to --

yes, you would?

OK.

(Laughter)

There are studies done

on the frequency with which individuals engage in the conjugal act,

as broken down by male, female; introvert, extrovert.

So I ask you:

How many times per minute --

oh, I'm sorry, that was a rat study --

(Laughter)

How many times per month

do introverted men engage in the act?

3.0.

Extroverted men?

More or less?

Yes, more.

5.5 -- almost twice as much.

Introverted women: 3.1.

Extroverted women?

Frankly, speaking as an introverted male,

which I will explain later --

they are heroic.

7.5.

They not only handle all the male extroverts,

they pick up a few introverts as well.

(Laughter)

(Applause)

We communicate differently, extroverts and introverts.

Extroverts, when they interact,

want to have lots of social encounter punctuated by closeness.

They'd like to stand close for comfortable communication.

They like to have a lot of eye contact,

or mutual gaze.

We found in some research

that they use more diminutive terms when they meet somebody.

So when an extrovert meets a Charles,

it rapidly becomes "Charlie," and then "Chuck,"

and then "Chuckles Baby."

(Laughter)

Whereas for introverts,

it remains "Charles," until he's given a pass to be more intimate

by the person he's talking to.

We speak differently.

Extroverts prefer black-and-white, concrete, simple language.

Introverts prefer -- and I must again tell you

that I am as extreme an introvert as you could possibly imagine --

we speak differently.

We prefer contextually complex,

contingent,

weasel-word sentences --

(Laughter)

More or less.

(Laughter)

As it were.

(Laughter)

Not to put too fine a point upon it --

like that.

When we talk,

we sometimes talk past each other.

I had a consulting contract I shared with a colleague

who's as different from me as two people can possibly be.

First, his name is Tom.

Mine isn't.

(Laughter)

Secondly, he's six foot five.

I have a tendency not to be.

(Laughter)

And thirdly, he's as extroverted a person as you could find.

I am seriously introverted.

I overload so much,

I can't even have a cup of coffee after three in the afternoon

and expect to sleep in the evening.

We had seconded to this project a fellow called Michael.

And Michael almost brought the project to a crashing halt.

So the person who seconded him asked Tom and me,

"What do you make of Michael?"

Well, I'll tell you what Tom said in a minute.

He spoke in classic "extrovert-ese."

And here is how extroverted ears heard what I said,

which is actually pretty accurate.

I said, "Well Michael does have a tendency at times

of behaving in a way that some of us might see

as perhaps more assertive than is normally called for."

(Laughter)

Tom rolled his eyes and he said,

"Brian, that's what I said:

he's an asshole!"

(Laughter)

(Applause)

Now, as an introvert,

I might gently allude to certain "assholic" qualities

in this man's behavior,

but I'm not going to lunge for the a-word.

(Laughter)

But the extrovert says,

"If he walks like one, if he talks like one, I call him one."

And we go past each other.

Now is this something that we should be heedful of?

Of course.

It's important that we know this.

Is that all we are?

Are we just a bunch of traits?

No, we're not.

Remember, you're like some other people

and like no other person.

How about that idiosyncratic you?

As Elizabeth or as George,

you may share your extroversion or your neuroticism.

But are there some distinctively Elizabethan features of your behavior,

or Georgian of yours,

that make us understand you better than just a bunch of traits?

That make us love you?

Not just because you're a certain type of person.

I'm uncomfortable putting people in pigeonholes.

I don't even think pigeons belong in pigeonholes.

So what is it that makes us different?

It's the doings that we have in our life -- the personal projects.

You have a personal project right now,

but nobody may know it here.

It relates to your kid --

you've been back three times to the hospital,

and they still don't know what's wrong.

Or it could be your mom.

And you'd been acting out of character.

These are free traits.

You're very agreeable, but you act disagreeably

in order to break down those barriers of administrative torpor

in the hospital,

to get something for your mom or your child.

What are these free traits?

They're where we enact a script

in order to advance a core project in our lives.

And they are what matters.

Don't ask people what type you are;

ask them, "What are your core projects in your life?"

And we enact those free traits.

I'm an introvert,

but I have a core project, which is to profess.

I'm a professor.

And I adore my students,

and I adore my field.

And I can't wait to tell them about what's new, what's exciting,

what I can't wait to tell them about.

And so I act in an extroverted way,

because at eight in the morning,

the students need a little bit of humor,

a little bit of engagement to keep them going

in arduous days of study.

But we need to be very careful

when we act protractedly out of character.

Sometimes we may find that we don't take care of ourselves.

I find, for example, after a period of pseudo-extroverted behavior,

I need to repair somewhere on my own.

As Susan Cain said in her "Quiet" book,

in a chapter that featured the strange Canadian professor

who was teaching at the time at Harvard,

I sometimes go to the men's room

to escape the slings and arrows of outrageous extroverts.

(Laughter)

I remember one particular day when I was retired to a cubicle,

trying to avoid overstimulation.

And a real extrovert came in beside me -- not right in my cubicle,

but in the next cubicle over --

and I could hear various evacuatory noises,

which we hate -- even our own,

that's why we flush during as well as after.

(Laughter)

And then I heard this gravelly voice saying,

"Hey, is that Dr. Little?"

(Laughter)

If anything is guaranteed to constipate an introvert for six months,

it's talking on the john.

(Laughter)

That's where I'm going now.

Don't follow me.

Thank you.

(Applause)