unf*ck your life in 90 days

Summary

The speaker shares a personal journey of overcoming a debilitating health condition that drastically affected their life, leading to job loss and self-esteem issues. They outline a 12-step plan to regain control, including self-reflection, setting realistic goals, reducing screen time, and maintaining consistency. The emphasis is on the importance of taking action, starting small, and building momentum towards a more fulfilling life.

Takeaways

• 💔 Overcoming adversity starts with acknowledging a low point in life, such as the speaker's health issues that affected every aspect of their life.
• 📉 The impact of the health crisis led to a significant drop in income and eventual job loss, highlighting the ripple effect of personal struggles on professional life.
• 😴 Poor sleep and health led to a drastic weight loss and a negative self-image, further exacerbating the individual's desire to isolate and avoid social situations.
• 🔄 The speaker emphasizes the importance of taking action to feel 'normal' again, rather than remaining stuck in a cycle of despair and inaction.
• 🔍 A reality check involves self-reflection and confronting the fear of stagnation, which can be a powerful motivator for change.
• 🏠 Starting with oneself means addressing personal habits and environment, such as cleaning and self-care, to create a positive momentum for change.
• 📊 The concept of 'standards' is crucial; understanding and adjusting personal standards can lead to improvements in various life aspects.
• 💰 Raising standards involves a conscious effort to not spend excess money for a set period, allowing a new, higher standard to subconsciously set in.
• 🚫 Cutting down on screen time and eliminating negative influences is essential to focus on personal growth and avoid distractions.
• 🔑 The 80/20 rule (Pareto Principle) suggests focusing on the most impactful areas of life to achieve greater happiness and success.
• 🎯 Setting realistic and achievable goals is vital; starting with small, incremental steps rather than aiming for grand, unrealistic targets.
• 📝 Planning and following through with daily tasks can significantly contribute to success and personal growth.
• 🐸 'Eating the frog' is a metaphor for tackling the most challenging task first, which can set the tone for the rest of the day.
• 📈 Cutting out bad influences and vices is necessary to stay on the path of improvement and not be held back by negativity.
• 🗣 Keeping one's word, especially to oneself, is fundamental to building self-confidence and trust in one's abilities.
• 🔄 Consistency in effort and behavior is key to building a 'fortified wall' of self-assurance and progress.
• 🤔 Reflecting on the journey and recognizing progress, even during times of struggle, can inspire continued effort and growth.

Q & A

What was the main cause of the individual's life being at its lowest four years ago?

The main cause was a health disease that affected every aspect of the individual's life, including work, sleep, and energy levels.

How did the disease impact the person's monthly income?

The disease led to a significant decrease in the person's monthly income from $27,000 to $10,000, eventually resulting in job loss.

What was the individual's primary goal during this challenging period?

The primary goal was to feel slightly normal again and to find relief from the disease.

What is the first step the individual suggests to overcome a difficult situation?

The first step is a reality check, which involves having an honest conversation with oneself about the current situation and the potential consequences of not addressing it.

How does the individual describe the natural progression of life in terms of highs and lows?

Life naturally moves between highs, where things are going great, and lows, where everything seems to be going wrong. The problem arises when one chooses to avoid addressing the issues during low periods.

What action did the individual take to start improving their situation?

The individual started by cleaning their room, taking care of their hygiene, and eliminating external clutter, which helped build momentum for further improvements.

What does the individual mean by 'recalibrating your standards'?

Recalibrating standards means identifying and adjusting what one considers 'normal' or 'average' in various aspects of life, and then raising those standards to improve one's situation.

How does the individual explain the concept of 'cutting screen time' in relation to self-improvement?

Cutting screen time involves removing sources of distraction and negativity, such as social media and excessive entertainment, to focus on actions that contribute to personal growth.

What is the 'rule of 8020' as mentioned in the script, and how does it apply to self-improvement?

The rule of 8020, or the Pareto principle, states that 80% of the results come from 20% of the inputs. In self-improvement, it means focusing on the most important areas that will yield the greatest happiness and results.

What common mistakes does the individual identify in goal setting, and how should one set goals correctly?

Common mistakes include making happiness the goal and setting unrealistic goals. One should set small, achievable goals that move them in the right direction, starting with going from zero to one.

Why is planning the day and 'eating the frog' important according to the script?

Planning the day helps eliminate overthinking and focuses on the tasks that need to be done. 'Eating the frog' refers to tackling the most challenging task first, which is crucial for building momentum and making progress.

How does the individual suggest dealing with bad influences in one's life?

The individual suggests cutting out people and vices that prevent one from doing the necessary work and keep them stuck in their current situation.

What is the significance of keeping one's word in building self-confidence and achieving goals?

Keeping one's word provides evidence of one's ability to follow through on commitments, which builds self-confidence day by day and creates a strong foundation for achieving goals.

Why is consistency important in the process of rebuilding one's life, and how does it contribute to success?

Consistency is important because it allows for the continuous application of effort towards goals, even when facing difficulties. It is the key to building a 'fortified wall' of success, brick by brick.

What is the purpose of reflecting on one's journey after a period of consistent effort?

Reflecting on the journey helps to recognize the progress made, even during times of struggle, and provides inspiration to continue the effort, leading to significant transformation over time.

Outlines

00:00

😔 Overcoming Personal Struggles

The speaker recounts their life four years ago when they were at an all-time low due to a health issue that significantly impacted their daily life and work, reducing their income and causing them to lose weight and self-esteem. They describe their journey to regain normalcy, which included an 8-month and 11-day struggle before they started to feel relief. The speaker emphasizes the importance of a reality check and self-reflection to avoid complacency in a negative situation. They also stress the need to take responsibility for one's own life, starting with small steps like cleaning and personal hygiene to build momentum for larger changes.

05:02

🛠️ Revamping Life with Practical Steps

The speaker outlines a series of steps to improve one's life after overcoming a personal low point. They suggest deleting social media and other distractions to cut down on screen time, applying the 80/20 rule to focus on what truly matters, setting realistic and achievable goals, and planning the day ahead to follow through with tasks. They also highlight the importance of taking action, even if it's not perfect, and eliminating negative influences from one's life. The speaker encourages keeping one's word, being consistent, and reflecting on progress to stay motivated. They conclude by advising viewers to share their insights with others who might be facing similar challenges.

Keywords

💡Health

Health in this context refers to the state of physical and mental well-being. It is central to the video's theme as the narrator's life took a downturn due to a health issue that affected every aspect of their daily routine. The script mentions how this health problem led to sleep deprivation and weight loss, which in turn impacted their self-image and work performance.

💡Reality Check

A reality check is a self-assessment or self-reflection that helps an individual understand their current situation and the need for change. In the video, the narrator emphasizes the importance of having an honest conversation with oneself to recognize being 'lost' and the necessity to avoid remaining in that state, as it is a natural part of life's progression.

💡Low Period

A low period is a phase in life where one feels overwhelmed by negativity and challenges. The video discusses how during such times, the mind can play tricks, creating a sense of hopelessness. The narrator shares their personal experience of being in a low period and how it led to neglecting personal hygiene and household chores.

💡Standards

Standards, in the context of the video, represent what is considered normal or acceptable for an individual. The narrator explains that one's standards can be a trap, limiting their potential for growth. The script uses an example of financial standards to illustrate how raising them can lead to improvements in various life aspects.

💡Clutter

Clutter refers to the state of being messy or filled with unnecessary items. In the video, the narrator uses external clutter as a metaphor for internal emotional or mental disarray. Cleaning up their physical space is presented as a first step towards addressing and organizing their internal state.

💡Screen Time

Screen time is the amount of time spent in front of screens, such as smartphones, computers, or televisions. The video discusses the negative impact of excessive screen time, particularly on social media and entertainment platforms, which can lead to feelings of despair and wasted time. The narrator shares their strategy of reducing screen time to focus on personal growth.

💡80/20 Rule

The 80/20 rule, also known as the Pareto principle, states that 80% of the effects come from 20% of the causes. In the video, this concept is applied to personal improvement, suggesting that focusing on the most impactful areas of one's life can lead to greater happiness and success. The narrator advises concentrating on the 20% of activities that yield 80% of the desired results.

💡Goals

Goals are the objectives or targets that an individual sets for themselves. The video highlights common mistakes in goal setting, such as aiming for happiness as an end in itself or setting unrealistic targets. The narrator suggests starting with small, achievable goals that can build momentum towards larger aspirations.

💡Plan

A plan is a detailed proposal for doing or achieving something. In the context of the video, planning is presented as a critical component of success. The narrator recommends planning tasks for the following day to eliminate overthinking and to streamline the process of accomplishing set goals.

💡Eat the Frog

Eat the frog is a metaphor for tackling the most challenging or least appealing task first. The video uses this concept to emphasize the importance of taking action, even when it's difficult. The narrator advises not to worry about perfection but to start, as the act of beginning is often the hardest part.

💡Influences

Influences refer to the people or factors that have an effect on one's behavior or development. The video discusses the negative impact of bad influences, such as people or habits that hinder progress. The narrator shares the idea of cutting out these influences to stay focused on personal growth and improvement.

💡Consistency

Consistency is the practice of maintaining a regular course of action or behavior. The video emphasizes the importance of being consistent in one's efforts to achieve goals. The narrator describes building a 'fortified wall' as a metaphor for self-confidence through consistent action, even when facing challenges.

💡Reflection

Reflection is the act of thinking deeply about one's experiences, thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. In the video, the narrator encourages reflecting on one's journey, especially during challenging times, to recognize progress and to draw inspiration for continued effort. Reflection helps in understanding the impact of one's actions over time.

Highlights

Personal health crisis led to a significant decrease in income and job loss.

The impact of the disease on sleep and energy levels, resulting in drastic weight loss.

The speaker's journey to regain a sense of normalcy after enduring a severe illness.

The importance of an honest self-assessment to avoid remaining lost in life.

The natural progression of life involves periods of being lost and the necessity to confront this reality.

The speaker's realization of the need to change personal habits to improve life circumstances.

The concept of recalibrating personal standards to avoid being trapped by one's own expectations.

The illustration of how standards can subconsciously influence behavior in various life aspects.

A strategy for raising personal standards using a 30-day scheme to adjust to new norms.

The negative impact of excessive screen time and the speaker's decision to cut down on it.

The Pareto Principle (80/20 rule) applied to focus on the most impactful areas of life.

Common mistakes in goal setting and the importance of starting with achievable objectives.

The significance of planning daily tasks to streamline success and reduce overthinking.

The necessity of taking action, even if imperfect, to initiate progress in life.

Cutting out bad influences to prevent them from hindering personal growth.

The importance of keeping one's word to build self-confidence and demonstrate reliability.

The value of consistency in achieving long-term goals and overcoming challenges.

Reflecting on personal progress and using it as motivation to continue the journey of improvement.

The encouragement to share insights with others who may be experiencing similar struggles.

Transcripts

my life was at its absolute lowest about

four years ago mainly due to a health

reason outside of my control this

disease affected every second of the day

and night for me which eventually

infected all areas of my life my work

began to suffer a rle where I was making

about $27,000 per month dwindled down to

$10,000 per month which eventually

caused me to be let go the disease

allowed me to sleep on and off for about

4 hours total each night which caused my

energy levels to dwindle I lost about 32

lbs in a 6mon span and when I looked in

the mirror I was ashamed of what I saw

in my reflection which caused my brain

to avoid leaving the house unless

absolutely necessary my only goal was to

feel slightly normal again and after 8

months and 11 days I finally felt some

relief from this disease from there I

UNF my life in 90 days and you can too

step one reality check it takes an

honest conversation with yourself I felt

completely lost but feeling lost is not

a problem staying lost is is a problem

being lost is a natural progression in

life because you don't have all the info

you need to go to the next destination

it happens to everyone at some point in

their life the problem arises when you

have red flags raising and you choose to

avoid the fire and do nothing about it

so you have to get real with yourself if

I stayed in this situation for another 5

years how afraid would I be and I was

terrified by the answer by then I'd be

even more anxious more pessimistic and

it'd be even harder to get out of a bad

routine i l a fire under my butt step

two start with yourself in life you

constantly move between highs and lows

highs being where things are going great

you feel great and you feel like you can

do anything Lowe's being where it feels

like nothing's going right and

everything's just collapsing in when

you're in a low period your mind starts

to play tricks on you your mind tells

you there's no way out it's going to be

like this forever that's just not true

the only truth is only you can get

yourself out of this situation take me

for example I got to the point where I

didn't clean my room dishes were piling

up my own hygiene wasn't even a priority

even if you were there back then to

clean my room for me based on my current

belief system my room would have quickly

gotten messy again so it had to be me

and it has to be you I started cleaning

each room one by one getting rid of any

external clutter that reminded me of my

clutter inside I brushed my teeth I

showered I put on some cologne and it

helped take a couple steps out of the

I figured hey even if the world outside

starts crumbling and a giant asteroid

was about to hit Earth at least I'd

smell good and that started the momentum

step three recalibrate your standards my

standards were trapping me and your

standards are trapping you when I say

standard I simply mean what feels normal

to you and normal is different for

everyone you have your standard your

Peak and your floor if Elon Musk woke up

one day checked his bank account and saw

he had $10 million in it he would would

freak out and feel like he was going

broke but that same 10 million to

someone else could be a number that they

can't even fathom you have to find your

current standards then you raise them

then you keep them there each of those

levels have different challenges picture

this JN has $1,000 to his name that is

his standard his Dad gives him $22,000

for graduating college now he's way

above his average so he starts ordering

door Dash more he gets a few items off

his Amazon wish list and after a few

weeks he's back to having a

standard in his bank account and he

wonders where all the money went it's

subconscious you always gravitate

towards your standards similarly if Jon

had his $1,000 but he total his bike and

needed to get a new one now he only has

$300 in his account so when his friends

ask him to go out or he's hungry next

time he checks the fridge first or says

he just can't go out I'm broke and he

works back up to his standard so how do

you raise your standards the

mind-blowing truth about standards is

they usually work as one for all areas

of your life when your bank account is

at its lowest usually your sleep and

your self-care is at its worst as well

when your self-care is at its best your

bank account usually reflects that as I

started building momentum I used a

30-day scheme to raise my standards so

again Jon's at $3,000 instead of

spending the excess he doesn't do

anything with it for 30 days

subconsciously that becomes his new

standard over that time so after 30 days

now he gets a raise at work now it's at

$4,000 for 30 days again he doesn't do

anything with the extra and he has a new

standard you can continue to do this an

infinite amount of times to unfold your

life and achieve anything step four cut

screen time I desperately wanted to get

back to the old me I would wake up and

watch a YouTube video on how to improve

my life but was met with vague advice

like Get Smart Connect with others and

other tips that left me feeling more

lost than before to cope with those

feelings I would Doom scroll for hours

then I'd beat myself up for wasting so

much time watch another video on how to

improve my life and then repeat that

process until evening where I would then

attack myself even more for wasting an

entire day so then I would watch Netflix

and play video games to avoid feeling

that feeling of Despair I had to delete

social media I deleted Netflix I removed

any source that could cause me to Doom

scroll and only left me with sources

that would move me in a direction I

wanted and needed cutting hours and

hours off of my screen time each day

step five simplify the rule of 8020 I

needed Improvement in all areas of my

life and with an endless amount of areas

to improve you don't know where to start

the Paro principle is proven to be a law

of nature time and time again meaning

80% of the results are driven by 20% of

total inputs simplified further 20% of

your life will give you 80% of your

happiness so only focus on the areas

that matter most to you the rest is just

noise step six set the right goals I

just wanted to feel happy anyone does

when they're feeling down but there are

two common errors most people make when

setting goals first they make happiness

the goal as Jordan Peterson States if

your goal is just to be happy that's

impossible you're telling me you want

happiness without ever feeling any kind

of burden in your life that won't happen

the second mistake is that people often

have unrealistic goals through my Doom

scrolling I would see people with

mansions on the beach and Bugattis in

their garage wanting a Bugatti when I

couldn't even clean my home doesn't help

me out you have to learn addition before

you get to calculus you have to start

with the smallest goal that will move

you in the right direction meaning start

with going from zero to one not with a

th to a thousand and one you have to set

the bar appropriately low for yourself

step seven plan your day much of success

nowadays can be attributed to how good

someone is at following directions I've

had mentors and coaches for a number of

areas in my life what is true time and

time again is that the more I follow the

plan that is laid out before me the

better results I get so plan your few

tasks the night before this will take

away any overthinking you have and then

you can simply submit to the work that

needs to be done step eight eat the Frog

you have to do the work there is no way

around it as you go down your path of

rebuilding your life the start is the

hardest it takes more energy to start

than it does to keep going you have to

take that first step don't worry about

being perfect a bed made poorly is still

better than a bed not made you can

improve but you have to start step nine

cut bad influences misery loves company

and that company doesn't want to let you

go Tony Robbins has a great example for

this look at this picture here now count

how many red objects you see

now close your eyes how many brown

objects were there in the picture you

have no idea right it's because you were

looking for red so if you look for

negatives in life you will find them

look for positives and you'll find them

cut the people out of your life who hook

you to stay where you are cut vices out

that keep you from doing the work that

you need to do step 10 keep your word

you are the only person in your life

that will be with you every step of the

way for the rest of your life life the

fastest way to destroy all

self-confidence you have is to tell

yourself you're going to do something

and then you don't do it and believe me

I know when you're at your lowest if you

treated others the way you treat

yourself people would want nothing to do

with you but the fastest way to build

your confidence is to keep your word to

yourself that gives you evidence that

you can do this and that builds day

after day after day until you have a

fortified wall Step 11 consistency

building that wall takes consistency if

your goal is to UNF your life or build a

billion dooll business everyone would do

it if it was easy you know the journey

will be difficult you will second guess

yourself sometimes so when times get

tough remind yourself that this is what

hard feels like it's supposed to feel

like this so continue laying brick after

brick step 12 reflect on your journey

you've been stuck just like I was even

getting out of bed was difficult so you

set an appropriately L Bar and you've

been consistent with it for 30 days take

a moment to reflect on those 30 days 80%

of that time you probably felt like you

were failing 15% of the time you

probably felt neutral and the 5% of the

time looking back you realize how far

you've come and that will inspire you to

keep going when you do that two more

times at the end of 90 days you can be

in a completely different situation so

if you gain something from this video

share it with someone else who needs it

and we'll get out of this low together