This Woman EXPOSES Female Nature SECRETS and TURN OFFS that MODERN Men are BLIND TO! (Casey Zander)

Casey Zander
31 May 202413:19

Summary

TLDRIn a candid interview, the host delves into the dating life and turn-offs of their friend Kelsey, exploring topics such as emotional intelligence, social media habits, and modern dating behaviors. Kelsey shares her experiences and insights, discussing the importance of being career-driven and financially responsible, while also touching on the challenges of finding genuine connections in today's dating scene. The conversation offers a fresh perspective on what women look for in a partner and the qualities that can be deal-breakers.

Takeaways

  • 😀 The interview is with a friend named Kelsey, who is asked about her dating life, turn-offs, and experiences with men.
  • 👥 Kelsey discusses the issue of women competing for men and her belief that it is a prevalent problem in modern dating.
  • 🧑‍🦱 She mentions that men from the Midwest are traditionally expected to provide for their partners, but she has observed a change in this dynamic.
  • 🤔 Kelsey identifies a lack of emotional intelligence as a major turn-off, emphasizing the importance of men being able to engage in deep conversations and show emotion.
  • 📸 She criticizes men who are overly focused on themselves on social media, particularly those who post mirror selfies frequently, which she finds off-putting.
  • 🏠 Kelsey is not fond of men who invite her back to their house on the first date, considering it a turn-off due to the implication of their intentions.
  • ❤️ She describes 'love bombing' as a turn-off, where a man expresses intense feelings too quickly after meeting, which she finds overwhelming.
  • 💼 Kelsey values career-driven men and advises against spending beyond one's means, such as buying bottle service when on an average salary.
  • 🔍 She also mentions that following too many women on social media can be a red flag, indicating a lack of selectivity or genuine interest.
  • 💬 In the interview, Kelsey shares that she prefers to wait before getting intimate with a man if she truly likes him, suggesting that this approach increases the chances of a successful relationship.
  • 🌟 Kelsey's ultimate goal in her dating life is to find a partner and start a family, indicating a desire for a stable and committed relationship.

Q & A

  • What is the main topic of the interview with Kelsey?

    -The main topic of the interview is Kelsey's dating life, including her turn-offs and experiences with men that have caused her to lose attraction.

  • What does Kelsey mean by 'provide, produce shebang' when describing men from the Midwest?

    -Kelsey is referring to men who are capable of providing for their families, showing responsibility and a willingness to take care of their loved ones, which she associates with her upbringing in the Midwest.

  • Why does Kelsey find it concerning that men nowadays seem to lack the ability to provide?

    -Kelsey is concerned because she feels that the inability or unwillingness of men to provide is leading to women becoming more masculine, as they have to step up and fulfill roles traditionally held by men.

  • What does Kelsey consider as a major turn-off when it comes to men's behavior?

    -A major turn-off for Kelsey is when a man lacks emotional intelligence, meaning they cannot engage in deep conversations or show emotional depth.

  • Why does Kelsey feel that posting mirror pictures on social media is inappropriate for men?

    -Kelsey believes that mirror pictures should be reserved for women and that men posting them frequently comes off as attention-seeking, which she finds unattractive.

  • What does Kelsey mean by 'love bombing' and why is it a turn-off for her?

    -Love bombing refers to when a man expresses extreme affection and desire for a relationship very quickly after meeting. Kelsey finds this overwhelming and off-putting, as it feels insincere and rushed.

  • What is Kelsey's view on men who follow a lot of women on social media?

    -Kelsey considers it a turn-off if a man follows many women on social media, especially if the women followed do not reciprocate, as it can indicate a lack of genuine interest or respect for the potential partner.

  • Why does Kelsey advise against men spending money on bottle service if they have an average job?

    -Kelsey suggests that men with average jobs should not waste money on expensive activities like bottle service, as it shows poor financial management and is not an attractive quality.

  • What does Kelsey consider the most significant turn-off among the ones she discussed?

    -Kelsey considers a lack of emotional intelligence to be the most significant turn-off, as it prevents meaningful connections and deep conversations.

  • What does Kelsey hope for in her dating life in the next three years?

    -Kelsey hopes to settle down and start a family, indicating that she is looking for a long-term, committed relationship.

  • What advice would Kelsey give her younger self about dating and relationships?

    -Kelsey would advise her younger self to focus on understanding what she wants in a relationship, to love herself, and to learn about her own needs and desires.

Outlines

00:00

💬 Dating Insights and Turnoffs

In this paragraph, the host introduces an interview with Kelsey, a friend, to discuss her dating experiences and turnoffs. The conversation delves into the changing roles of men and women in dating, with Kelsey expressing her disappointment in men who lack the traditional ability to 'provide' or show emotional strength. She lists several turnoffs, including men who are overly dependent, lack emotional intelligence, are excessively self-absorbed on social media, and those who engage in 'love bombing'. The discussion also touches on the idea of women competing for men and the importance of patience in relationships.

05:01

🚶‍♂️ Men's Behaviors and Financial Sense

The second paragraph continues the interview with Kelsey sharing more of her dating turnoffs. She criticizes men who follow many women on social media without reciprocity, those who are indecisive, and those who are not financially responsible, especially if they have average jobs but spend extravagantly on nightlife. Kelsey emphasizes the importance of emotional intelligence and being a provider as key qualities she seeks in a partner. The host and Kelsey also discuss the concept of 'manifesting love' and the idea of not settling for less in relationships.

10:02

👥 Social Dynamics and Future Aspirations

In the final paragraph, the conversation shifts towards Kelsey's personal aspirations and advice for younger individuals. She expresses her desire to settle down and start a family, highlighting the value of finding the right partner. Kelsey also discusses the importance of self-love and understanding one's own needs in a relationship. The paragraph concludes with a rapid-fire question segment where Kelsey shares her initial criteria for engaging in a conversation with a potential romantic interest, emphasizing the significance of career drive and personal values.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Respectful

Respectful refers to showing consideration for others' feelings, opinions, and rights. In the video's context, the speaker asks viewers to be respectful in the comment section, implying a desire for a positive and constructive discussion about the interview with Kelsey, which is the main theme of the video.

💡Competing for a man

Competing for a man suggests a scenario where multiple women vie for the attention or affection of a single man. The video discusses this concept as a potential issue, with the interviewee expressing her belief that some women do enjoy this type of competition, which is a significant point in the conversation about dating dynamics.

💡Emotional intelligence

Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize, understand, and manage one's own emotions and the emotions of others. In the video, it is identified as a major turn-off for Kelsey, indicating that it is a crucial quality she looks for in a partner, and it is a central topic in the discussion about what women find attractive in men.

💡Turn-offs

Turn-offs are characteristics or behaviors that cause a loss of interest or attraction. The video features a list of turn-offs from Kelsey's perspective, which are critical to understanding her dating preferences and the broader conversation about what might deter women in the dating process.

💡Provider

A provider is someone who supplies the necessities of life, such as food, shelter, and financial support. The script discusses a shift in traditional gender roles, where men are expected to be providers, but some are unwilling or unable to fulfill this role, which is a key point in the discussion about changing societal expectations.

💡Love bombing

Love bombing refers to the overwhelming expression of affection or attention at the beginning of a relationship, often to manipulate or control the other person. In the video, Kelsey mentions it as a turn-off, illustrating a scenario where men might push too hard too soon, which is a specific example of a dating behavior that can be off-putting.

💡Social media

Social media platforms are used for sharing content, ideas, and personal information. The video touches on the impact of social media on dating and relationships, with Kelsey expressing disapproval of men who are overly focused on their social media presence, particularly with mirror selfies, which is part of the broader conversation about modern dating etiquette.

💡Indecisive

Indecisive describes someone who is unable to make decisions or choices promptly or effectively. In the video, Kelsey lists indecision as a turn-off, indicating that she values decisiveness in a partner, which is a part of the discussion on personal qualities that are attractive or unattractive in the dating context.

💡High body count

A high body count refers to having had numerous sexual partners. Kelsey mentions it as a turn-off, suggesting that she, like many others, may find a history of numerous sexual partners to be unappealing, which is a specific point in the conversation about what might be considered undesirable in a potential partner.

💡Career-driven

Career-driven individuals are highly ambitious and focused on their professional success. In the video, Kelsey indicates that she would ask about a man's career drive when meeting at a bar, showing that she values ambition and professional success in a partner, which is part of the discussion on what qualities women might seek in a man.

💡Manifesting love

Manifesting love refers to the belief that one can attract love into their life through positive thoughts and intentions. Although the video script suggests not to delve into this topic, it implies that there is a belief in the power of intention and mindset in attracting romantic relationships, which could be a part of the broader conversation on dating and attraction.

Highlights

Interview with Kelsey discussing her dating life and turn-offs.

Belief that women may enjoy competing for a man.

Kelsey's Midwest background and expectations of men providing for their families.

Observation of men becoming less willing or able to provide, leading to women becoming more masculine.

Turn-off for Kelsey when men lack emotional intelligence and can't engage in deep conversations.

Dislike of men being overly self-absorbed on social media, especially with frequent mirror pictures.

Turn-off when men invite women back to their house on the first date, implying ulterior motives.

Definition and discussion of 'love bombing' as a dating turn-off.

Importance of men not being wasteful with money, especially when they have average jobs.

Kelsey's preference for men who are career-driven and have a clear direction in life.

Advice for men to focus on self-improvement and understanding what they want in a partner.

Kelsey's hope to settle down and have a family in the next three years.

Discussion on women's attraction to men who are sought after by others.

Criteria Kelsey uses to decide whether to continue an interaction with a man at a bar.

Advice to her younger self about focusing on self-love and understanding personal relationship desires.

Encouragement for viewers to like, comment, and subscribe for more content.

Transcripts

play00:00

now today I did an interview with my

play00:01

friend Kelsey I ask all of you to be

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respectful in the comment section and

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post good things because I think that

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you will enjoy this so like I said be

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respectful enjoy the video and I hope it

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keeps you entertained do you believe

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women enjoy competing for a man I do I

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do agree with that um

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unfortunately that is a problem

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now um okay hi everyone this is my

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wonderful amazing great friend Kelsey

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hello and I had questions for her today

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because I was curious about uh her

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dating life and her turn offs and all

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the gross nasty disgusting things that

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men have done that potentially have

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caused her to lose attraction for men

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that have possibly pursued her or any

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weird encounters that she's had in her

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dating life and since Kelsey's the

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perfect bubbly candidate for this I

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figured uh I'd bring her on the show so

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say hi to

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everyone hello hello okay so the first

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thing that I want to know you made this

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list of amazing turnoff that you've had

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what are all of your turnoff so I'm used

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to Midwest men who you know provide

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produce they they want the whole shebang

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but out here it's it's a little

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different so when you say provide

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produce shebang what does that mean for

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some of these men who won't know what

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that means so we I grew up personally

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like with my dad telling me you know

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showing my mom he can provide for the

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family I don't know if it's just a

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generational thing but men are changing

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and it's it's kind of scary like I feel

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like women become more masculine

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nowadays because men can't

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provide or men who like they can provide

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but they're unwilling to or are these

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men can provide but they're unwilling to

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ooh okay they're withholding resources

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that changes everything are you saying

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like they go on a date but they refuse

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to pay the bill or like what are you

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saying no never that like when you say

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not providing resources they just want

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to be [ __ ]

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baby like come cuddle me come cuddle

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me they text you this or say this

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literally like they act like babies and

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I'm so she's ran baby who's the man here

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okay I guess

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I'll so you meet a lot of men and you

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feel like you're they are too much of

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like they're too weak um yeah yeah the

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number one big turn off for me is if a

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man lacks emotional

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intelligence like he cannot have a deep

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conversation he cannot get emotional in

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some sense like we don't want men to cry

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it's okay if they cry it's okay if they

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cry but I

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mean have you had any criers in front of

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you I mean I think it's kind of hot if

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you're having a deep conversation with a

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man you have been intimate with and he

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can't show an emotional side of him like

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no bueno I don't like that turn off

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number two

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is when they are way too into themselves

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on social media like I get it I better

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tone down those goddamn Ferrari

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pictures no I'm talking about like

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mirror pictures like I feel like mirror

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pictures should be reserved for women

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and not for men I mean you can post when

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every once in a while like if you're

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like yeah I look jacked I want to take

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you know after a gym Pig but like every

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other day no so like attention seeking

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post yeah when you're on a date with a

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man and he invites you back to his house

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on the first date how does that make you

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feel like he just wants

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to and that's an that's a turnoff that

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is a turnoff number four love bombing oh

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what does that mean again it's when you

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first meet a man and he's like oh I want

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to put a baby in

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you and just like I love you and it's

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like whoa whoa whoa pump the brakes Bud

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like that is you've had that happen yes

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J some of these things I might be out of

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touch I don't know men do some of these

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things so it's good to hear this too

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well because you're a North Dakota man

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oh my okay yes I've had this before they

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they literally say like I'd like to like

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okay but so we go on a date he he likes

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me whatever we'll go on another date

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then the love bombing starts happening I

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do not hook up on the first day um I try

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to wait a little bit if I really really

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do like a man

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because it never works out if you hook

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up on the first date notice she said if

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she really likes a man so all of you out

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there understand if she likes you she

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will make you wait and I know that makes

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no sense to you you're like oh she likes

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me she should sleep with me no no you're

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going put an extra rules an extra

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category trust me all right this this

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I'm a girl's girl he's a guy's guy so

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next Point what's the next turn off

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State in facts she's stating facts she

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straight facts all right but I do like

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value your opinion no no I I'm not no I

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was talking to the audience in that one

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not you that that was purely just to

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teach them see he likes me yeah

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yeah yeah no excellent excellent

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all

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right let's see next next next turn off

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all right all right so another thing is

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so we're huge on social media these days

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yeah what's what's the fifth turn off or

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what's the next one that's you said it's

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huge on social

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media when a

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man follows a bunch of women and you do

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the investigation Work O and the women

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don't fall on back

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[Laughter]

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so what number was

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that how we doing great let me read the

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rest of these I'm I'm going to scroll

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through these why cuz I can no I'm going

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to pick apart some of the ones I want to

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talk

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about I I asked some girlfriends too so

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they chimed in okay but I cannot say

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number seven why it's just I mean it's

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not that

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bad oh no you should say that that's

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good this stems into competency don't be

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this is true if you see this say it so

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if you have an average job so let's say

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the average job these days like 60 to 75

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to

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80k yeah I don't want you to be in the

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club not just me specifically but you

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shouldn't be in the club spending money

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on bottle service every weekend yeah the

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exact words of this it says having an

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average job at spending money on bottle

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service every weekend so basically that

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means don't be stupid with your cash

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yeah like cuz they know they can sniff

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it out they can see what you're trying

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to do I mean I'm just trying to help you

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guys out like that's not really a flex

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like we don't care we may pop up to your

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table have a drink and then

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peace at least she's being truthful this

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is great yeah I mean we're going to go

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home honey we are going to go home after

play07:25

that like I got my free drink

play07:29

I can go to bed in my own bed whose lips

play07:32

are those those are the lips I created

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okay those are the lips you created yeah

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I mean do you want to get into that yeah

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get me some lip

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injections would I look good would I

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look good I mean do mine look good I

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don't know I may get roasted for that

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sorry I have lip injection if you want

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to roast Kelsey in the comments just

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start typing below she'll she has thick

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skin she'll handle it well yeah I all

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right let me see this Kelsey's not

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moving quick enough here number eight

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indecisive number nine unable to be a

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provider in some sense we already talked

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about that uh number 10 having a high

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body count and proud of it flexes it

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lacks emotional

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intelligence so which of these uh would

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you say is the most biggest turn

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off I would

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say I'm huge on emotional intelligence I

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don't know if that's just a thing that

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comes with age do you believe in

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manifesting love you guys don't post

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that we probably shouldn't say that on

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there no cut that part out what was the

play08:44

biggest turn off out of all of them and

play08:47

you said I said emotional intelligence

play08:48

oh yeah emotional intelligence

play08:50

intelligence so I as you get older you

play08:54

become more spiritual like you don't

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want to give your body to like any

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Average Joe

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[Laughter]

play09:09

so you hear that ladies and gentlemen go

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ahead goad every average Joe um so where

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are we at again you're you're

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distracting me yeah that's why I'm

play09:20

trying to stay unbiased here I think

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that like what this does is it helps me

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actually see like from a woman's

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perspective what they actually deal with

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some of these I didn't know that's a

play09:29

thing like I would never imagine I would

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never in a million years imagine guys

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actually go out and buy bottle service

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if they can't afford it this is my last

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question I have for you in the next 3

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years where do you hope to see yourself

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and how do you hope your dating life

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ends up actually going I definitely do

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want to settle down and have a family

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so so you're looking for a hobby I'm

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looking for a mans my

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mans great I want I want I mean so as a

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nurse like you do see a glimpse into the

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future that like not a lot of people

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see um and your perspective on life

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changes a little bit so having kids as

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you get older is a blessing so you want

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a

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family perfect do you have anything else

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you'd like to say to them as we wrap up

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do you have any questions for me any

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suggestions any final

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thoughts I don't know what are your

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final thoughts

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um I thought you wanted to fire the

play10:35

questions out what are your question

play10:37

yeah I kind of umy yeah no I didn't have

play10:40

I kind of wanted just to hear your turn

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offs rapid fire questions um do you do

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you believe uh girls would rather

play10:48

compete for a man than just be with a

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guy monogamously or let me let me

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rephrase it do you believe women enjoy

play10:56

competing for a

play10:58

man uh

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like like if you know a lot of women are

play11:02

after him do you like do you believe

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more women enjoy competing I do I do

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agree with that um

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unfortunately that is a problem

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nowaday

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um who I mean I guess it's like sports

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like you're competing for one thing yeah

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so let's say the end goal let let's say

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a guy comes up to you at a bar and says

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hi and like introduces s what are the

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main criteria that dictate if you will

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actually uh involve yourself in that

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interaction or

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not okay rephrase that let's say a guy

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comes up to you at the bar and he says

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hi and introduces himself and wants to

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talk what are the main criteria for if

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you will continue that interaction or

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not like what are you looking for what

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are your main attraction mechanisms that

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are telling you yes stay in this

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interaction or tell them you have to

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leave

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well first of all I'm going to start

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asking are you career driven what do you

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do for work you'd ask us at the bar are

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you career driven yeah oh wow okay I

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mean

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like it depends on the scene though okay

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well I probably would oh no this is the

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question and this is how we're wrapping

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up cuz this is getting long this is

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where we're ending what advice would

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have you given yourself in your early

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20s to now if you had to Mom yourself

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what would you say well with the way

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things are going I think I would have

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probably me personally went back in

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focused on maybe finding who I want in

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your early 20s mid 20s yeah and I did

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have my long-term relationships in my

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early early 20s but just kind of

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investigate and learn yourself love

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yourself and learn what you want like

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Lear learn what you want in a

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relationship if you like this video I

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want you to hit the like button comment

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and subscribe and we'll see you in the

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next

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one e

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