Overcoming Addiction - The Root Cause Of Every Addiction

Summary

In this insightful episode, Leo from Actualised.org delves into the depths of addiction, revealing its root cause as the fear of emptiness. He shares personal experiences overcoming food addiction, illustrating a profound understanding of why addictions exist. Leo emphasizes that all addictions stem from the same place and offers a simple test to identify addictive behaviors. He discusses common addictions in modern society and introduces techniques such as the do-nothing technique, mindfulness meditation, and existential investigation to achieve self-actualization and break free from the chains of addiction. This episode is a call to face one's inner demons and to embrace the existential void as a path to a more fulfilling and self-actualized life.

Takeaways

• 📚 Overcoming addiction is a universal topic that applies to everyone, not just hardcore drug addicts.
• 🔍 The root cause of all addictions is the fear of emptiness, which is the fear of being alone with nothing to do.
• 🚫 A simple test to determine addiction is to stop the suspected behavior for a week and see if cravings arise.
• 🌐 Modern society is filled with various addictions, including drugs, food, porn, tobacco, alcohol, TV, internet, videogames, socialization, and even thinking.
• 🧘‍♂️ The author's personal experience with food addiction led to the realization that addictions are distractions from existential emptiness.
• 🏋️‍♂️ Self-actualization involves grounding oneself internally rather than seeking external stimulation for happiness.
• 🧐 The ability to sit alone in an empty room without agitation or craving is a measure of emotional maturity and self-development.
• 💭 Stuffing oneself with various forms of stimulation is a common behavior to avoid facing the emptiness within, but it never truly fills the void.
• 🔥 Facing and accepting the existential emptiness is a profound step towards conquering addiction and achieving self-actualization.
• 🧘‍♀️ Techniques such as the do-nothing technique, mindfulness meditation, and strong determination sitting are offered to help individuals face their addictions.
• 🤔 Existential investigation, which involves contemplating one's own death and the insignificance of existence, is suggested as a way to confront and understand the nature of being.

Q & A

What is the main topic of Leo's discussion in the provided transcript?

The main topic of Leo's discussion is overcoming addiction, including the root cause of addictions and how to deal with them on a deep, psychological level.

According to Leo, what is the ultimate root cause of all addictions?

The ultimate root cause of all addictions, according to Leo, is the fear of emptiness, which is the fear of being alone with nothing to do and the resulting existential void.

What is the simple rule of thumb that Leo suggests to determine if one has an addiction?

Leo suggests that if you stop the behavior you suspect to be an addiction for one week and cravings arise, then you are addicted. If no cravings arise, you are not addicted.

What are some of the common addictions mentioned by Leo in modern society?

Some common addictions mentioned by Leo include drugs, food, porn, tobacco, alcohol, TV, the Internet, videogames, socialization, chit-chatting, partying, shopping, gossip, and excessive thinking.

How did Leo overcome his food addiction?

Leo overcame his food addiction by committing to eating cleaner, experiencing the craving, and sitting with the craving without giving in to it, which allowed him to observe it mindfully.

What is the significance of being able to sit alone in an empty room according to Leo?

According to Leo, the ability to sit alone in an empty room signifies self-development, emotional maturity, and self-mastery. It is a litmus test for internal grounding and the ability to be content without external stimulation.

What does Leo suggest as the first technique for overcoming addiction?

The first technique Leo suggests for overcoming addiction is the 'do-nothing technique,' which involves sitting alone in a room without any stimulation and facing the emptiness and cravings head-on.

What is the purpose of Leo's website, Actualized.org?

The purpose of Actualized.org is to provide resources and support for individuals on their journey towards self-actualization, which includes overcoming addictions and living life to its fullest.

How does Leo define 'internal wealth' in the context of the discussion?

Leo defines 'internal wealth' as the ability to be happy doing nothing, which is a measure of how satisfied and content one can be without any external stimulation or activities.

What is the difference between a 12-step program and Leo's approach to overcoming addiction?

A 12-step program focuses on overcoming a specific addiction and may provide support and techniques for that purpose. In contrast, Leo's approach emphasizes self-actualization, aiming to become the best version of oneself and addressing the root cause of addictions on a deeper level.

What are the top three techniques Leo suggests for becoming a non-addict and achieving self-actualization?

The top three techniques Leo suggests are the 'do-nothing technique,' mindfulness meditation, and strong determination sitting. These techniques are aimed at facing and overcoming the internal challenges that lead to addiction.

What does Leo mean by 'soft addictions' and why are they significant?

Soft addictions, according to Leo, are behaviors or emotional dependencies that one might not consider as addictions, such as the need for constant criticism, judgment, love, validation, compliments, or success. They are significant because they can be just as impactful on one's life as hard addictions and need to be addressed for true self-actualization.

Outlines

00:00

😀 Understanding Addiction and Its Root Cause

Leo from Actualised.org introduces the topic of overcoming addiction, emphasizing that the insights are applicable to everyone, not just hardcore drug addicts. He shares his personal experience with food addiction and how he overcame it. The root cause of all addictions is identified as the fear of emptiness, which is a fear of being alone with nothing to do. Leo explains a simple test by Gay Hendricks to determine if one has an addiction: stopping a behavior for a week and observing if cravings arise. He also lists common addictions and suggests that most people have multiple addictions, including to thinking.

05:02

🧐 The Realization of Addiction's Root Cause

Leo describes his personal revelation about the root cause of addiction while trying to change his eating habits. He committed to a cleaner diet and experienced a strong craving for ice cream, which he resisted. This resistance led to a physical and psychological reaction, which he used to understand the nature of addictions. He explains that addictions serve as distractions from the fear of existential emptiness. The ability to sit alone in an empty room without craving external stimulation is presented as a measure of self-development and emotional maturity. Leo contrasts being externally grounded, which leads to addiction, with being internally grounded, which is the goal of self-actualization.

10:03

🤔 Facing the Existential Emptiness

Leo discusses the importance of facing the existential emptiness that underlies all addictions. He explains that the inability to sit alone in an empty room without cravings is a sign of a hollow life, which is the reality most people run from. He points out that the emptiness inside a person is never filled by consumption or material possessions, and that facing this emptiness is key to overcoming addiction. Leo also touches on the fear of death and the void, suggesting that contemplating one's own death can help in understanding and accepting the emptiness of existence.

15:07

🕵️‍♂️ Confronting the Void to Overcome Addiction

Leo advises facing the void by sitting with an empty stomach or clean veins, without any distractions, to confront the cravings and suffering that arise. He emphasizes the importance of not distracting oneself and enduring the psychosomatic reactions that come with facing one's inner demons. He suggests that this confrontation with emptiness will lead to a purifying fire that burns out the inner demons over time. Leo warns that without facing the void, addictions are never truly conquered and will likely return.

20:08

🧘 Techniques for Overcoming Addiction and Achieving Self-Actualization

Leo offers three techniques to help addicts become non-addicts and achieve psychological stability and internal grounding. The first technique is the 'do-nothing' technique, which involves sitting alone without any stimulation. The second is mindfulness meditation, and the third is strong determination sitting. As a bonus, he introduces 'existential investigation,' which involves contemplating one's own death and the insignificance of existence. He also mentions that soft addictions, such as the need for validation or success, are important to address and will be covered in future episodes. Leo views self-actualization as the removal of addictions and encourages developing internal wealth, the ability to be happy doing nothing.

25:12

📈 The Importance of Self-Actualization Over Addiction Recovery

Leo discusses the limitations of 12-step programs, noting that while they can be helpful, they often lack a broader perspective on self-actualization. He suggests that the primary mission should be self-actualization, rather than just quitting an addiction. He differentiates between playing defense, which is overcoming a deficiency, and playing offense, which is striving to become the best version of oneself. Leo emphasizes the importance of a positive reason for change, which is to achieve self-actualization. He invites viewers to engage with his website, Actualised.org, for more resources and to subscribe to his newsletter for ongoing support on the path to self-improvement.

Keywords

💡Addiction

Addiction refers to a compulsive engagement in rewarding stimuli, despite adverse consequences. In the context of the video, addiction is not limited to substances like drugs or alcohol but extends to behaviors such as overeating, excessive gaming, or constant socializing. The script discusses overcoming addiction by addressing its root cause, which is identified as the fear of emptiness.

💡Fear of Emptiness

Fear of emptiness is the underlying emotional state that the video suggests drives addiction. It is the discomfort or anxiety one feels when faced with the void or absence of external stimulation. The script explains that addictions serve as distractions from this existential emptiness, and overcoming addiction involves facing and accepting this emptiness rather than avoiding it.

💡Self-Actualization

Self-actualization is a term from psychology, often associated with Abraham Maslow, and refers to the drive for self-fulfillment and the realization of one's full potential. In the video, self-actualization is presented as the ultimate goal, where an individual is internally grounded and not dependent on external stimuli for happiness. The script implies that overcoming addiction is part of this journey towards self-actualization.

💡Mindfulness Meditation

Mindfulness meditation is a mental training practice that involves focusing one's attention on the present moment and accepting it without judgment. The video mentions mindfulness meditation as one of the techniques to overcome addiction, suggesting that it helps individuals become more aware of their cravings and face the emptiness without seeking distractions.

💡Existential Investigation

Existential investigation, as discussed in the video, is a process of deep self-examination and contemplation about one's existence, including confronting the reality of death and the significance of one's life. It is presented as a technique to face and understand the root of addiction, by directly engaging with the concepts of emptiness and the fear of the void.

💡Emotional Maturity

Emotional maturity refers to the ability to understand and manage one's emotions, thoughts, and behaviors in a way that is positive and constructive. The script relates emotional maturity to the capacity to handle the existential emptiness without resorting to addictive behaviors. It suggests that addiction is a sign of emotional immaturity and that overcoming it requires developing emotional maturity.

💡Internal Grounding

Internal grounding is the concept of finding stability, peace, and satisfaction from within oneself, rather than relying on external factors. The video emphasizes that being internally grounded is essential for overcoming addiction and achieving self-actualization, as it allows an individual to be content with just 'being,' without the need for constant external stimulation.

💡Cravings

Cravings are intense desires for a particular experience or substance, often associated with addiction. In the script, cravings are depicted as physical and psychological responses that arise when one attempts to abstain from an addictive behavior. The video suggests that facing and observing these cravings without acting on them is a crucial step in overcoming addiction.

💡12-Step Programs

12-Step programs are a set of guiding principles originally developed by Alcoholics Anonymous for individuals seeking recovery from addiction. The video acknowledges the potential usefulness of such programs for providing support and structure but also points out that they may lack the broader perspective of self-actualization. The script suggests that while 12-Step programs can help with defense against addiction, the offense lies in striving for self-actualization.

💡Existential Crisis

An existential crisis is a period of intense doubt and anxiety about one's purpose, values, and the meaning of life. The video mentions that facing the emptiness of existence can lead to an existential crisis, which can be a transformative experience if one confronts it directly. The script implies that such a crisis can be a catalyst for profound personal growth and the development of internal wealth.

Highlights

Leo from Actualised.org discusses overcoming addiction by addressing its deepest root cause.

Provides a test to determine if a behavior is an addiction based on cravings after stopping for a week.

Almost everyone in modern society has some form of addiction, varying in degree and number.

The most common addictions include drugs, food, porn, tobacco, alcohol, TV, Internet, videogames, socialization, and even thinking.

Thinking is identified as the number one addiction that most people are unaware of.

The ultimate root cause of all addictions is the fear of emptiness and the inability to be alone with nothing to do.

Leo shares his personal experience overcoming food addiction and the realization of the root cause of addiction.

The importance of facing cravings head-on and observing them mindfully without giving in.

Addiction as a distraction and escape from existential emptiness fear.

The metric of being able to sit alone in an empty room without external stimulation reflects self-development and emotional maturity.

The emptiness of being is a profound experience, not negative, and is the basis of spirituality.

Facing the existential void and accepting it is essential for conquering addiction sustainably.

Leo explains the catch-22 of addiction recovery, where addicts seek to avoid the emotional labor that led to addiction in the first place.

Three techniques to overcome addiction: do-nothing technique, mindfulness meditation, and strong determination sitting.

Existential investigation as a bonus technique to face one's inner demons and contemplate one's own death and insignificance.

Self-actualization is described as the removal of addictions and becoming a psychologically stable and internally grounded individual.

12-step programs can be helpful for support but often lack the big picture of self-actualization and playing offense in life.

The mission should be to become self-actualized, not just to quit an addiction.

Transcripts

hey this is Leo for actualised

org and in this episode I'm going to be

talking about overcoming addiction and

I'm going to tell you the deepest root

cause at the bottom of every addiction

listen up because this information I'm

going to give you here is not just for

hardcore drug addicts this is something

that's going to be useful for everybody

I'm going to share with you some deep

insights that I got from my own food

addiction and overcoming my food

addiction earlier in my life and what

that's going to give you is it's going

to give you a really deep high-level

understanding of what addictions are and

why they exist and where they ultimately

stem from because every addiction stems

from the exact same deep place firstly

though how do we tell that we have an

addiction there's a great limit s --t

that I can give you which I got from gay

Hendricks I really love this and what he

basically says is if you stop doing the

behavior that you suspect that you're

addicted to if you stop doing it for one

week and cravings arise then that means

that you're addicted and if you stop

doing it and no cravings arise that

means you're not addicted so this is a

very simple rule of thumb you can run

this test on any behavior you have that

you suspect of being an addiction and if

you actually do this and try this out

you might be shocked at what you

surprised at how many things you're

addicted to you might discover that

you're addicted to things that you

wouldn't even have normally thought or

addictions these days in modern society

almost everyone is an addict the only

question is to what degree how severe is

it and how many addictions do you have

most of us have not one or two

addictions but at least half a dozen if

not a dozen or more

the most common addictions are of course

drugs but also food porn tobacco alcohol

TV and Internet videogames very common

these days also socialization

chit-chatting and partying with your

friends

shopping work gossip and thinking now

thinking is a really interesting one you

might think that you're not addicted to

thinking and that thinking doesn't

really qualify as an addiction but man

actually thinking is the number one

thing that most people are addicted to

and they don't even know it now that's a

tangent that I can't go into here it's a

very deep rabbit hole that I talk about

in my enlightenment videos and in my

meditation video so I will cover it here

but what I want to do here is I want to

talk about the root cause of all of

these addictions because they only have

one ultimate root cause and that is fear

of emptiness fear of emptiness sounds

kind of weird fear of emptiness how does

this create addiction well it's really

the fear of the emptiness that you

experience when you are alone with

nothing to do so if you just sit in a

room and don't do anything for an

extended period of time you will notice

this fear of emptiness come up and it

comes up in many different ways and what

addictions are is they're distractions

and escapes from this existential

emptiness fear that all of us have who

have not faced it head-on the way that I

discovered this is with my food

addiction I don't know if you notice

about me but I used to be overweight

quite heavily overweight for most of my

life since I was about ten years old

until I was about 21 or 20

two years old all through school and

through the first half of college I was

quite overweight and not just overweight

but I was really obsessed with food and

I over ate a lot of food and just ate

terrible food and then when I got into

college finally I decided that this is

something I need to change and over the

course of about six months I put a stop

to all of it and I got myself in shape

and I've stayed pretty lean ever since

ah now the thing that I discovered

though in those first few days when I

started to make that transformation with

my diet and with my fitness is I

discovered this root cause of addiction

I didn't realize that it was all

addictions I thought it was just food

but what I realized and I remember this

very vividly as I was sitting there at

home it was late at night and usually I

would go grab a snack some candy or some

some soda or some ice cream or whatever

while I was uh just relaxing after

college but what happened here is that I

committed to eating cleaner so I made a

commitment not to eat any dessert or to

drink any soda or any sugary type

products and I had some ice cream in the

refrigerator and I was sitting there

just watching some TV and I really got

this craving for some ice cream I wanted

to go great

grab some the way I normally would but

then I remembered that no I can't do

that because I've made this commitment

to clean up my diet and so what I did is

this was a decisive moment for me I just

sat there i sat there and didn't move

didn't do anything just sat there the TV

was playing and I just watched this

craving for ice cream course through my

body and it was a whole physical

reaction right the whole physical

reaction as you know with addictions if

you've ever tried to quit something like

smoking or drinking or porn or whatever

is that you have this whole craving that

your body goes through is not just a

mental thing it's also a physiological

thing and so what I did is I just I

force myself to sit there and just to

experience it and that was the decisive

moment for me from then

on my whole diet got a lot easier

because I was able to crack that uh that

really difficult the most emotionally

challenging moment in this whole phase

of changing my diet was just to sit

there and to not give in to this craving

and just kind of observe it more or less

mindfully so that's what I did

uh so I'm going to use food as the kind

of prototypical example throughout the

discussion here in this episode but of

course you can replace food with any

addiction it doesn't matter what I'm

talking about food you replace it with

whatever you're addicted to internet

porn videogames

relationships love thinking anything it

doesn't matter right it's all the same

stuff basically so the problem that you

have with whatever you're addicted to is

that you're basically unable to sit

alone in an empty room you can't stand

it so what you do is you turn to blank

as your distraction and fill in the

blank with whatever you want so you turn

to food as a distraction or you turn to

drugs as a distraction or you turn to

shopping as a distraction now you might

wonder like what does this have to do

with anything why is this this notion of

sitting alone in an empty room why would

that be important and why is this being

used as kind of the metric to judge

things isn't it sort of arbitrary and

actually no it's not arbitrary it's a

very special metric it's very important

because in a sense the degree to which

you are self developed and the degree to

which you're emotionally mature and the

degree to which you are capable as a

human being is the degree to which you

can sit alone in an empty room without

any external stimulation see and the

degree to which you need external

stimulation to feel happy in your life

is the degree to which you have

of no mastery over your life it's the

degree to which you are a slave to

external reality it's the difference

between being externally grounded and

internally grounded and the whole aim of

self-actualization is to ground yourself

deeper and deeper into your own being

internally and being internally means

just being rather than doing rather than

running around and stimulating yourself

with television or food or anything else

you see so this criteria of sitting

alone in an empty room and being

fulfilled or satisfied or at the very

least not agitated and full of craving

sensations is a very important metric

it's a very important litmus test and

you can try this by yourself just sit

alone comfortably in a room for an hour

or two doing nothing and see how you

feel do you feel okay do you feel happy

do you feel normal or do you feel antsy

and bored and pissed off and frustrated

and agitated and you can't even sit

still for five minutes

or you're lost in fantasies in your mind

about stuff you're dreaming about sex

and you're dreaming about food and

you're dreaming about business and

you're dreaming out work and all this

other stuff but you can't just be

present in the moment this is very very

important a lot of people completely

underestimate how important this is you

can't really be satisfied in life if you

can't sit alone in an empty room

for a couple hours without cravings and

most people can't do that and the reason

that is is fundamentally that your life

is hollow see your life is actually

empty but you've been running away from

that truth from that reality for most of

your life

ever since you were a child and you

started playing video games or you

started playing with toys or you started

reading books or watching television or

whatever you started doing eating food

candy all that stuff was you getting

attached to stimulation because you

weren't able just to be present and

satisfied with stillness and with being

so what you started to do early on in

your life and you continued to do it

today and is very normal for you today

you think that this is how life should

run what you do is you stuff yourself

until you're aching and you're guilty

that should ring some bells for you

think of all the times either recently

or in the past where you stuffed

yourself until you're aching and then

you're guilty

maybe you stuffed yourself with a

Netflix marathon or you stuffed with

yourself with a a porn marathon or you

stuffed yourself with food at a buffet

or some restaurant or backyard barbecue

or you stuffed yourself with a reading

or with knowledge or you stuffed

yourself with work it's like work work

work work work right what you did is you

stuffed yourself think about the last

time that you stuffed yourself and how

you felt you felt very full but you also

felt dirty and really even though you

felt full on the surface deep down below

the surface what happened is that you

felt empty inside and no matter how much

you consume that emptiness is never

filled because this is the inescapable

limit of hedonism and materialism is

that you can't fill that emptiness of

being with more doing or with material X

colonel possessions or activities no

matter how much you try you can't do it

so the problem here is that you're

running away from this existential

emptiness and this existential emptiness

usually most of us think of it as a

problem something to avoid but actually

is something that you need to open

yourself up to and to face and to

embrace and to accept and this is what

most people do not do and by not doing

this this leads to all manner of a

dysfunctional addictive behaviors and it

leads to just a dissatisfaction with

life and then ultimately can lead to

depression and even to suicide because

being biased nature is empty that is the

nature of being itself is emptiness but

see most people don't like this idea at

first it seems kind of negative and it

seems depressing actually it's not it's

a very beautiful and incredible

experience to fully realize the

emptiness of being and to be one with it

this is a very profound experiences of

what spirituality is based upon but most

people aren't mature enough to grasp

this and they're so busy running away

from it because they've been running

away from it since they were like 3

years old that now it seems like it's

the normal thing to do it's fear of the

void the existential void inside of you

this is the void you feel when you start

to think and contemplate about your own

death have you ever just sat down and

contemplated your own death do you

realize that you will be dead within the

next 20 30 50 years at most you'll be

dead and you'll be dead forever

never

again in the billions of years that this

universe will go through will you ever

again be alive now sit with that and

think about that for a moment and try to

imagine what the experience of death is

I don't mean going through death but I

mean after you're dead what that is that

lack of experience in other words there

will not be no more colors or sounds or

tastes there won't be sex there won't be

entertainment

there won't be porn there won't be

videogames there won't be business

activity there won't be money-making

there won't be fun there won't be travel

there won't be sadness there won't be

anything there won't be fear there won't

be uh you know bodily sensations of any

kind it's going to be a complete void so

empty that is not even going to be black

and it's not even going to be silent

because silence and darkness are

actually phenomenon of life so it's

going to be so empty that you're not

even to have those things it's the same

emptiness that you experience when

you're in deep sleep not when you're

dreaming but when you're in deep sleep

and you have no sensations and no

memories of anything you don't even know

that you're alive that's what the void

is like is what you were before you were

born

think back to what your life was before

you were born it was a void right you

have nothing you have zero experience of

it so that's the thing you're ultimately

running away from and that's something

that you don't just I'm not just saying

you're running away from death I mean

you're running away from that sort of

empty that's sort of emptiness it

doesn't just exist after death it exists

right now

now in the reality of being itself so if

you just sit and do nothing what you

have is you just have raw experience and

if you sit there long enough you start

to realize that all this experience

that's happening it's always changing

it's always in flux and ultimately none

of it means anything

and this might start to make you

depressed this might lead to an

existential crisis but what has to

happen is that you have to face this you

have to face this void at one point in

your life if you want to conquer

addiction sustainably see a lot of

people what they do when they have

addiction is they look for kind of a a

service level solution it's like well

how do I change my behavior so I stop

smoking or I stop overeating how do I go

to the gym more and workout more all

that stuff it can be useful to a degree

but it will not really allow you to

conquer addiction permanently

sustainably because it doesn't get you

looking at the void and accepting the

void so how do we get you to conquer the

void and to accept it well you can't

really conquer it but you can come to

peace with it and it's really simple if

you permanently want to conquer any

addiction that you have here's what you

do is you just sit with emptiness and do

nothing so if it's a food addiction you

sit with an empty stomach and you don't

do anything and if it's a drug addiction

users sit there with you know a clean

clean veins and you don't do anything

you don't fill them with any addictive

substances and if it's a video game

addiction that you just sit there

without any stimulating images or pixels

moving in front of your eyes

and so on and so forth right and as you

do that don't go into fantasy but just

sit there very mindfully don't distract

yourself you're going to be very tempted

to distract yourself with some book or

call a friend or talk to your family or

go to the park or whatever we have to

notice that all those are distractions

from just facing being itself and facing

that emptiness of being and as you sit

there and you face that emptiness what

you have to do is you just have to

surrender yourself to the purifying fire

of emptiness where those cravings will

come up in you and all your suffering

will come up and all your desire for sex

and for money and for food and for for

fun and for socialization and for love

and for for all this kind of stimulating

exciting stuff all those cravings will

come up and you're gonna have to suffer

through all those and sort of face your

inner demons and as you sit there and

brace yourself you're going to have a

psychosomatic reaction your mind is

going to be going crazy and your body is

going to be going crazy and you're going

to feel uncomfortable and perhaps even

ill and it's going to be emotionally

challenging but what's going to happen

is that the longer you sit there hour

after hour after hour doing nothing that

purifying fire will burn out all your

inner demons and you can just imagine

this all your inner demons are just kind

of escaping you as every hour goes by

and that's how you conquer every

addiction if you don't do this then you

don't really conquer the addiction you

just find a short-term solution and

usually what happens is that you're

going to fall back into it if not in a

week

then in a month and if not in a month

than in a year and if not in a year than

in ten years you will fall back into it

because you have it really faced the

inner demons

you've just sweep them under the rug so

what I'm giving you here is a mature

solution to addiction this is a very

mature solution this is the ultimate

solution and the way you tell it's but

she is that it's very emotionally

challenging this is not easy to do most

people don't want to do this in fact

this leads us to the catch-22 that every

addict faces when they're going through

recovery the catch-22 of addictions is

that every addict when he tries to go

through recovery wants to find a

technique that will help him to avoid

the emotional labor of recovery but it's

that avoidance of emotional labor which

created the addiction in the first place

so if you notice those people that are

really hardcore addicts in whatever

field of life they are the ones who tend

to avoid emotional labor the most that's

basically what addiction is coming from

it's the avoidance of emotional labor

emotional labor one of the forms of

emotional labor here is this emotional

labor that comes when you sit there and

do absolutely nothing it seems like

doing absolutely nothing is simple and

not laborious at all and actually for

someone who's psychologically healthy

and mature and not an addict it's the

most pleasant thing ever but for someone

who is an addict sitting and doing

nothing is like torture it's really

emotionally laborious which is kind of

the paradox of it

and most addicts they just want a quick

fix solution they don't want to face

their emotional labor but it's because

they don't want to face their emotional

labor that they're addicts you see so

it's like a vicious cycle and at one

point or another what's going to happen

to you in your life is you're going to

realize this you're really going to get

it not just hearing it from me but

you're really going to like feel it in

your bones at one point and if you do

then that will be the beginning of the

end of your addictions and if you don't

if you keep resisting and you keep

running away from this and you just hear

my words but you don't really get them

to penetrate down into your bones then

you're going to be an addict for the

rest of your life in one form or another

all addiction is basically emotional

immaturity all addiction is basically

childishness it's pretty profound to

think of it that way let me give you my

top three techniques for addicts for

becoming a non addict for becoming a

really

psychologically stable and internally

grounded human being this is what's

necessary if you want to self actualize

you can't be fully self actualized while

at the same time holding a bunch of

addictions it's just not going to work

so my top three techniques number one is

the do-nothing technique number two is

mindfulness meditation number three is

strong determination sitting and then a

bonus number four is what I call

existential investigation so let me just

briefly cover these I actually have

videos that cover most of these

techniques in a lot of depth so I'm not

going to go into the details here I have

a video about technique number one which

is to do nothing technique you can

search for it I have a video for

mindfulness meditation you can search

for that I have a video for strong

determination sitting you can search for

that

so that covers those three they're all

really powerful and they're basically

different ways of just sitting and doing

nothing and paying attention to present

experience to being and then the fourth

bonus technique is the existential

investigation and what that is is you

sit down and you actually start to

investigate who and what you are

existentially and you face your inner

demons really head-on you don't just sit

there I mean sitting there is really

good but you actually take out even more

proactive approach you start to ask

yourself okay what's going to happen

when I'm dead you start to contemplate

your own death you start to face your

own death you start to face the

insignificance of your existence and

that's something that I actually want to

cover in a new episode that I'll shoot

soon I'll show you how to do this kind

of existential investigation and I'll

talk about existential crises so I don't

want to go into that too deeply here I

just as a very simple technique if you

just want to start to break your

addictions right now all you really have

to do is just make some time sit in a

room by yourself alone without any

stimulation without any music without

any books without any games or

television or anything else and just sit

there and do nothing it's really that

simple

addiction is a much bigger problem than

we realize I mean I'm talking about here

what I would call kind of like hard

addictions even things like video games

or even things like shopping I would

call a hard addiction but actually

there's a whole second category of

addictions which I would call soft

addictions or emotional addictions and

this is something I want to cover again

in a separate episode because it's going

to take me a while to explain all this

but basically soft addictions are things

that you wouldn't even ever consider as

an addiction for example criticism or

judgment that might be an example of a

soft addiction or an addiction

to an addiction to love and validation

from other people or an addiction for

compliments from other people or an

addiction for success these sorts of

things most of us think that these are

actually good things or if they're not

good things we think that they're not

really addictions but actually they are

addictions and they're in fact some of

the most important addictions that you

have even besides your drug addiction or

your porn addiction or your video game

addiction and I'll talk more about that

in the future with additional episodes

so one way to look at self-actualization

is you can think of it as the removal of

addictions that's one way to to think of

it there's a lot of different

perspectives that you can take on

self-actualization because it's a very

deep and kind of high level abstract

concept but that one is one that I

really like because when I think of a

self actualized human being one of the

things that immediately comes to mind is

that this person is totally internally

grounded and not dependent on any

particular form of stimulation at all

now this doesn't mean this is an anal

person that this person can't have fun

or can't watch some TV once in a while

or can't play a video game he can but he

doesn't need it

he doesn't crave it he's transcended all

that stuff and in fact for him the thing

that's most enjoyable is not watching TV

or playing a video game or watching some

porn the most enjoyable thing for him is

just to sit and to be that's become more

enjoyable now think about that how close

are you to that ideal you might be very

far off think about what it would take

how you would have to structurally

change your life to get to the point

where you can just sit and be as happy

as you are playing video games let's say

or watching a Netflix marathon without

any stimulation at all do you believe

that that's even possible can you see

the power of that can you see why it

would be powerful to just sit and do

absolutely nothing and be just as

satisfied as you are when you're

stuffing yourself with food or when

you're shopping or when you're gossiping

with your friends you see why this is

powerful if you can be happy doing

nothing at all think about what happens

when you actually are doing something

wonderful like watching a beautiful

sunset or hiking in the mountains or

playing a fun video game or smoking some

pot you can still do all those things

but just think about how much more

enjoyment you'll get if your baseline

level of enjoyment is already at the

maximum of where you currently are when

you're doing all those activities you

see it's like an overflow of internal

wealth you might say you know external

wealth is like money houses and yachts

internal wealth is how happy you can be

doing nothing and that's something that

you would develop that's not something

that comes to you by accident

people don't just grow up with a lot of

great internal wealth almost everybody

starts with zero internal wealth and it

has to be developed through self

actualization work that's what this

whole channel is about that's what this

whole website is about that's what

everything I tell you is leading you

towards in one fashion or another so

keep that in mind one last issue I want

to address here before I go is 12-step

programs so you might be wondering well

Leo what about 12-step programs is this

something I should do are they good what

you're suggesting here is slightly

different than most 12-step programs

so here's a scoop on 12-step programs

they can be very helpful and for many

people who have hard addictions they

need support from knowledgeable experts

who have already gone through you know

all this stuff and who can help them and

hold their hand and guide you through

all the steps so that can be very

helpful but most 12-step programs lack

the big picture you can enroll in a

12-step program and you'll go through

and they'll give you a lot of different

techniques and that stuff will be great

but they won't give you the really big

picture because they don't quite frankly

understand it themselves right

your mission is not to quit an addiction

and that's the only real mission that a

12-step program will give you it'll just

say okay let's have you quit this

addiction and maybe they'll say let's

replace this bad addiction with some

good addictions but they won't give you

the true mission that you need to have

which is to become self actualized see

there's a very big difference between

what we might say playing defense versus

playing offense in a 12-step program

you're playing defense

you're not playing offense you're not

trying to become the best human being

you can possibly be you're simply trying

to overcome a deficiency or a

dysfunction that you have and while that

can be good it's better than nothing

it's not as good as what I'm telling you

here and really you can do both right

you can take the techniques from the

12-step program but most importantly

have the mission to become self

actualized to become your greatest self

to become the greatest that a human

being can become and if you do that then

that will be much more motivating for

you than just to quit a drug or just to

quit

for basically a negative reason you need

a positive reason and the most positive

reason is to become self actualized

alright that's it I'm done please click

the like button on this post your

comments down below I do read a majority

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and lastly come check out actualize that

org it's my website I've got some free

resources on there that will help you to

self actualize I'm not really interested

in just helping you overcome a little

problem that you have in your life or

even a big problem self-actualization is

not about fixing problems it's about

living life to its fullest right this is

a very different attitude most people

don't have this attitude in life and it

takes a while before you can acquire

this attitude you can understand all the

facets of it there's a lot of conceptual

frameworks that you need to really get

on track with self-actualization also

various techniques what I do every

single week is I release new content

through my newsletter and on my youtube

channel that explains all this stuff

this is all very practical stuff I'm a

my approach to self-improvement is very

hard-nosed

no nonsense no new-age type of stuff I'm

just really practical about the concepts

and techniques that I find and how to

apply it in my life and I love to share

them with you and to show you the kind

of results that you could get so go

check that out if you sign up to the

newsletter it's free and it'll keep you

on track so you don't lose track of this

you don't forget it's very easy to

forget you might watch one of my

episodes and then the next week it's as

though you watch nothing it just kind of

goes in one ear and out the other

never to rebe remembered again in your

life doesn't change and what I want for

you is I want not just a change in your

life I want to help you make a

transformation in your life and that's

possible but you have to stick around

with me you have to learn some of the

frameworks and that will take a while

right my take is six twelve months to

really sort of soak this stuff in and

start to get on track so the newsletter

is a really great way to do that outside

of course I have a book list all those

are great

sources and I'm working to release more

free resources and also paid courses in

the future that will help you to do all

that so sign up and check it out and

stay tuned for more which I'll see you

with real soon

you