Self Control - How To Develop Self-Control To Create An Amazing Life
Summary
TLDRIn this insightful video, Leo from Actualized.org delves into the concept of self-control, emphasizing its pivotal role in achieving success and happiness. He discusses the importance of mastering one's psychology to create a positive impact on the world. Leo outlines practical strategies such as disciplined practices and disconnecting from overstimulation to enhance self-control. The video encourages viewers to take action towards self-improvement and subscribe to Actualized.org for further guidance on personal development.
Takeaways
- π‘οΈ Self-control is crucial for success and happiness, and it is the foundation for mastering one's own psychology.
- π Developing self-control allows you to direct your own life, leading to stronger relationships, better health, and financial success.
- π The key to unlocking the world's opportunities lies in self-mastery, which is achieved through self-control and discipline.
- π± The distinction between the inner world of psychology and the outer world of circumstances is vital for understanding self-control.
- π The outer world often mesmerizes us, but true power comes from mastering the inner world to influence the outer reality.
- π« Avoiding the trap of becoming a victim to outer circumstances is essential for cultivating self-control and a creator mindset.
- π§ The complexity of the human organism and the brain's role in maintaining balance make self-control a challenging yet necessary skill to develop.
- ποΈββοΈ Building self-control requires work, emotional labor, and the development of consciousness through personal development practices.
- π§ββοΈ Engaging in disciplined practices such as consistent routines, meditation, and goal setting strengthens the prefrontal cortex and self-control.
- πΊ Unhooking from excessive media and stimulation aids in introspection and raises consciousness, which in turn enhances self-control.
- π Committing to self-control as a life's work leads to a transformation in various aspects of life, including family and personal achievements.
Q & A
What is the main topic of Leo's video?
-The main topic of Leo's video is the concept of self-control, its importance, and how to develop it for personal success and happiness.
Why does Leo believe self-control is crucial for success and happiness in life?
-Leo believes self-control is crucial because it enables individuals to discipline themselves, direct their own lives, and create stronger relationships, better health, and financial success.
What does Leo suggest as the life's work for an individual seeking self-improvement?
-Leo suggests that the life's work for an individual should be the development of self-control and self-mastery, as everything else in life will fall into place once self-control is achieved.
What is the distinction Leo makes between the inner and outer world?
-The inner world refers to one's feelings, emotions, thoughts, and psychology, while the outer world consists of external circumstances like possessions, relationships, and physical environment. Leo emphasizes the importance of focusing on the inner world to influence the outer world.
How does Leo describe the process of developing self-control as it relates to the brain?
-Leo describes the process of developing self-control as building up the prefrontal cortex through disciplined practices, which involves emotional labor and struggle, similar to physical exercise that builds up muscles.
What does Leo mean by 'mastering your own psychology'?
-Mastering your own psychology means having control over your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, which allows you to influence your outer world and achieve your goals.
What is the difference between a creator mindset and a victim mindset as discussed by Leo?
-A creator mindset involves having self-belief, self-esteem, and discipline to shape the outer world according to one's desires. A victim mindset, on the other hand, is being overly concerned with the outer world and feeling paralyzed by external circumstances.
Why is developing self-control difficult according to Leo?
-Developing self-control is difficult because it requires emotional labor, struggle, and the building of neural connections in the brain. It's akin to maintaining a complex equilibrium within the brain that regulates various aspects of life for survival and reproduction.
What practical advice does Leo give to build self-control?
-Leo advises having disciplined practices, such as consistent morning routines, maintaining hygiene habits, meditating, journaling, and being punctual. He also suggests unhooking from media and external stimulation to foster introspection and self-awareness.
How does Leo define the 'lower self' and 'higher self' in the context of self-control?
-The 'lower self' is associated with immediate gratification and comfort, often leading to a lack of discipline. The 'higher self' represents the part of an individual that aspires to live up to their full potential. When self-control is lacking, the lower self can take control, leading to feelings of guilt and unfulfillment.
What are the two bonuses Leo offers to those who sign up for his newsletter on actualized.org?
-The two bonuses Leo offers are an exclusive nineteen-part video series about breaking through limiting beliefs and the opportunity to participate in two hours of free live coaching on various issues each month.
Outlines
π§ββοΈ The Power of Self-Control
Leo from Actualized.org introduces the concept of self-control, emphasizing its importance for personal success and happiness. He suggests that self-control is the key to mastering one's psychology, which in turn opens up opportunities in all areas of life, including relationships, health, and financial success. Leo argues that self-control can eliminate negative emotions and states, leading to a more positive and fulfilling life. He proposes that developing self-control should be one's life's work and that it is more important than external circumstances.
π The Inner and Outer Worlds
The script delves into the distinction between the inner world of feelings, emotions, and thoughts, and the outer world of circumstances. Leo explains that people often focus too much on external factors, neglecting their internal state, which is the true source of their desires and satisfaction. He illustrates that success in life involves mastering one's inner world to influence the outer world effectively. Leo contrasts the 'creator mindset' with the 'victim mindset,' highlighting the importance of self-control in adopting a creator mindset.
πͺ The Challenge of Developing Self-Control
Leo discusses the difficulty of developing self-control, likening the human brain to a complex thermostat that must balance numerous factors to maintain equilibrium. He points out that the brain is constantly working to ensure survival and reproduction, making self-control a challenging skill to develop. The script suggests that emotional labor and struggle are involved in building self-control, which is why many people do not undertake the process.
π§ Building Self-Control Through Personal Development
The speaker explains that personal development can strengthen the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for self-control. He suggests that by being more aware and introspective, one can build up neural connections that enhance self-control. Leo metaphorically describes the brain's neural networks as forces vying for control, and through personal development, one can develop the ability to make better decisions and maintain balance in life.
π Practical Steps to Enhance Self-Control
Leo offers practical advice for building self-control, including establishing disciplined practices and routines, such as consistent waking times, dental hygiene, meditation, and work ethic. He also recommends reducing exposure to overstimulating media and instead spending time in solitude for introspection and goal setting. The script emphasizes that these practices help train the brain, similar to physical exercise, leading to increased self-control.
π Committing to Self-Mastery
In the concluding paragraph, Leo encourages viewers to take action and commit to mastering self-control, as it is a life-changing endeavor. He invites them to subscribe to Actualized.org for further resources and live coaching opportunities. Leo expresses his passion for sharing psychological principles that can transform lives, urging viewers to embrace self-control as their life's work for the benefit of themselves and their families.
Mindmap
Keywords
π‘Self-Control
π‘Mastery
π‘Psychology
π‘Inner World
π‘Outer World
π‘Emotional Labor
π‘Discipline
π‘Prefrontal Cortex
π‘Victim Mindset
π‘Creator Mindset
π‘Personal Development
π‘Unhook from Media
Highlights
Self-control is identified as a key to success and happiness in life.
Mastering one's own psychology through self-control opens up opportunities in life.
Self-control can lead to stronger relationships, better health, and financial success.
Developing self-control involves overcoming depressive episodes and negative emotions.
The speaker emphasizes self-control as life's work and the primary focus for personal development.
A distinction is made between the inner world of psychology and the outer world of circumstances.
The outer world is often a source of concern, potentially neglecting the importance of the inner world.
Success and fulfillment are tied to mastering one's inner world rather than being controlled by the outer world.
The concept of a creator mindset versus a victim mindset is introduced to illustrate the power of self-control.
Developing self-control is likened to a physical challenge, requiring emotional labor and struggle.
The human brain is described as a complex system for survival and balance, akin to a thermostat.
The difficulty of maintaining equilibrium within the brain's complex regulatory system is discussed.
Personal development is suggested as a way to build neural connections that enhance self-control.
Disciplined practices are recommended as a method to train the brain and build self-control.
Unhooking from media and external stimulation is advised to foster introspection and self-control.
The importance of taking action and committing to self-mastery is emphasized for life transformation.
The speaker offers free resources and coaching to subscribers of actualized.org to support self-control development.
A call to action is made for viewers to actively engage in developing self-control as a life's work.
Transcripts
hey this is Leo for Ashe lized org and
in this video I'm going to talk about
the concept of self-control
okay so self-control
what is self-control why is it important
how do we get more of it in our lives
and what can it really do for us and
what are maybe some some strategies and
techniques that we can use to really
boost the amount of self-control that we
have I'm glad that you're taught that
you're listening to this video and that
you search for this because self-control
is one of the most important concepts to
understand in your life it's the one of
the most important contributors to your
success and happiness in life and that's
why I found it actualized at Oregon
that's why my my motto is mastering your
own psychology because I really do
believe that when you master yourself
the whole world opens up to you and by
mastering yourself is creating more
self-control it's being able to
discipline yourself it's being able to
direct your own life I'm pretty sure you
can understand without me going into all
the nuances of what kind of
ramifications that can have for you if
you had more self-control if you had
more self-control
you could have stronger relationships
better love life you could have much
better health you could have a
ridiculous level of success with your
finances you could have a really
powerful contribution that you leave
behind and that you kind of impact that
you make on the world through the work
that you do this all starts with
self-control and then of course just how
you feel in your life getting rid of all
the depressive episodes all the negative
thinking all the worry all the pessimism
all the anger frustration overwhelm
getting rid of all that getting all
those emotional things handled and
feeling excited and positive and proud
and joyful and peaceful well that is all
the difference between those two states
and those two conditions though
two types of life is self-control is how
much of it you have so I would submit to
you right now that your life's work is
self-control to develop self-control to
develop self mastery that is it and if
it's not right now for you then make it
so it should be this should be your
life's work everything else is secondary
and everything else will fall into place
once you have self-control like I said
your health your relationships your
business your money situation if you
just work on yourself that stuff will
handle it stop looking for solutions in
the outer world start looking for
solutions in the inner world now this is
the next point that I wanted to make
this is an incredibly powerful
distinction and you will need multiple
exposures to grasp the significance of
this but I hope to make a dent in it
right now and this is the distinction
between inner and outer world this is so
powerful what does this mean
this means that we really live
simultaneously in two worlds on the one
hand you have the outer world of
circumstances that is right here right
the outer world is the computer that
you're looking at the chair that you're
sitting in the house that you have or
don't have how much money you have in
your bank account the relationship that
you're in or you're not in the country
that you reside in the city that you're
in the kind of shape that your body is
in that is the outer world what's the
inner world the inner world is the world
of feelings emotions thoughts or to use
one simple term for all of it
psychology it's your psychology it's
what's going on in here and this is
powerful because on the one hand it
seems kind of obvious but it's powerful
on many deeper layers here's why it's
powerful
is that we are constantly we're
constantly concerned with what's going
out in the outer world so much so that
we are mesmerised and paralyzed by outer
circumstance and it destroys what's
going on in here and of course what's
going on here is ultimately what you
care about because whatever you're
chasing out there you only care about it
because of what it does to you in here
think about it that million dollars that
you want to earn yes you want to have a
million dollars but in the end you want
to have a million dollars because it
does something for you and here it
literally sends out some chemical in
here that's making you feel good which
is why you're pursuing it the same thing
with your relationship if you want to
get married or you want to find that
awesome girlfriend or boyfriend why do
you want that yes you want it in the
outer world but ultimately it's going to
come back and hit you in the inner world
it's that sense of love that you want to
feel it's a sense of happiness that
intimacy whatever you want that right so
that is the connection there and the
problem is that we tend to think that
all the solutions and all the challenges
in life are out there they're out there
right it's the boss my boss is not as
good as he should be
it's my spouse my spouse is doing crazy
things behaving in irrational ways it's
the guy at work who is not doing the job
that he's supposed to be doing it's the
guy on my in on my commute to work that
cut me off and he was being an
right it's the fact that I have I have
no money in my bank account
that's a problem it's the economy the
economy the politics the policies of
this country are not allowing me to do
the things that I want to do that's the
problem well that is the biggest trap
that you can get caught in in your life
is to become a victim to outer world and
not pay enough attention
to your inner world because the people
that are successful and have the kind of
life that they want and these are the
people that exercise self-control
because I'm tying all this back to
self-control I'm going to tie it
together really soon here is that what
they're doing is they're reversing the
process here notice the process outer
world me being so focused on the outer
world that the outer world mesmerizes me
I am reacting to the outer world I am
NOT creating what I want I am a victim
that's one way that process can run
here's the opposite way the process runs
I am a creator I have belief in myself I
have self-esteem
I have resourcefulness I have Drive I a
vision I have goals I have self-control
I have discipline I have emotional
mastery and now my inner reality my
inner world is so strong that I impose
it on the outer world and I change the
outer world to whatever I want it to be
creator mindset vs. victim mindset
notice the difference there you feel
that power I get a sense of I get a
surge I get chills running up my spine
when I even say it because of the
difference in power they're totally
different
most people are stuck in the victim
mindset most people are too concerned
about the outer world so let's tie this
back about self-control to be able to
influence the outer world you need to
have your psychology mastered when you
master your own psychology becomes
easier to influence the world otherwise
world is always influencing you now
let's talk about the next point which is
why control is really hard because
developing self control self discipline
is not easy and this is why most people
do not do it and most people lives are
is because they do not take the
proper steps to develop a self-control
and that's because there is emotional
labor involved there is struggle
involved we
building self-control here's why just
really think about it think about who
you are as a biological entity you are
this this body and this mind let's say
you're this organism basically that's
made up of trillions of cells trillions
of cells do you understand the
complexity that is happening there
how many chemical and biological
processes are happening in your body
right now just so you can sit there and
breathe for another five seconds just so
you can think just so you can interpret
what I'm saying to you just so you can
see me the complexity is involved there
and think about the environment that
you're in in a sense you are in a
hostile environment you have differences
in temperature you have threats your
survival you need food you need oxygen
you need water you have all these
different needs you have psychological
needs you have physical needs if
something goes wrong in the outer world
all the sudden this organism
disintegrates you die right this is a
matter of life and death so you are this
complex organism and your brain is a
system for regulating you to make sure
that you're balanced and that the forces
of life the forces of the universe that
you're in right the forces here right
now so that these forces do not kill you
and so that you are able to reproduce
and create the next generation so
literally right now your brain is
looking out for things that it perceives
might kill you right you're walking down
the street it's looking out that you
don't step out in the middle of the road
and get hit by a car the reason you're
worried about paying your bills because
you linked that to becoming destitute
and living in rags on the street and
catching some disease there and then
dying prematurely right the reason that
you care about your relationships is
because you want to reproduce and you're
worried about finding a good a good
partner and you're finding a good match
making sure that you can have kids and
making sure you have a nice family
you're looking out for those things and
it's hard to do that just think about
what has to happen it's almost like
imagine
your brain as being a thermostat right a
thermostat is a self-regulating system
and what's happening there is you have a
negative feedback loop when it gets too
hot the air conditioning kicks in and it
brings the temperature down when it gets
too cold the heater kicks in it brings
the temperature up to maintain this
equilibrium well your body these these
trillions of cells that you've got they
all need to maintain equilibrium your
psychology needs to maintain its
equilibrium and so to bring this deep
point home this equilibrium is difficult
to maintain inherently this is not an
easy challenge to solve this is actually
a physical challenge think of yourself
as a thermostat except your brain is not
controlling one factor its controlling a
million factors its controlling its
control it has to account for all the
forces in your life so much more complex
and thermostat now think about the
network of connections that your brain
has all these mini thermostats thousands
of them in your brain that are
controlling for your survival your
reproduction the air that you're taking
in the success you're having whether
you're approved at at work your social
status how hungry you are all these
factors are coming into play and all the
need to be somehow reconciled balanced
out and turned into a course of action
that you're taking you know you're
moving your hands you move your mouth
you're moving your lips you're moving
your body you're thinking certain
thoughts that is guided by this complex
essentially thermostat that you have in
your brain that is trying to maintain a
sense of balance and so yeah that's
that's hard I'm surprised that were as
good maintaining balance as we are but
of course a lot of us are not as good at
maintaining balance as we want to be and
so that is why you're following through
on your gym that is why you're following
through on your diet plans that is why
you're following through on starting
your business that is why you're
following through on your relationships
is because you've got this complex
thermostat and it's doing it the best
that it can but that that self control
it's difficult to develop the way to
develop it is through work you have to
develop emotional until you have to go
out there and you have to start thinking
start introspecting start watching
yourself start building up a
consciousness what happens is that when
you do this
literally I mean I don't have scientific
proof for this but what I think is
happening kind of physically inside your
brain is that you have these various
networks of neurons that are vying for
control and you notice this for example
when you have a decision to make and you
don't know which way to go you're kind
of a split between option A and option B
and you have maybe one voice inside your
head saying well you should go do that
it's going to be great and you have this
other voice inside you're saying inside
your head saying no that's not going to
work out it's gonna be horrible and you
don't know how to decide that's
literally like you have you have
different forces
that's that thermos that I'm talking
about is that you have these opposing
forces one is saying it's too cold the
other saying it's too hot how is it
going to pan out well there has to be a
ward it has to be a clash going on
inside that's literally what's happening
your brain that you have clashing neural
networks and they're vying for control
some of them sometimes went out other
times others went out but if you do
personal development and you start to
bring more awareness into this you start
to learn you start to build knowledge
you start to go out there and you start
to experiment and notice what happens
when you experiment and register that
feedback really take it in you start to
get extra layers of control built in
your mind so you actually literally
build up your prefrontal cortex right
here which is able to control for
example the different impulses that you
have it controls whether you're going to
splurge on that doughnut that you know
you shouldn't be on splurging on it
controls whether you're going to keep up
with your with your gym routine it it
controls where they're going to start
that business you're gonna have enough
courage to start that business it
controls whether you're going to explode
at your spouse in a fit of a rage when
they do something that that bothers you
or that you even want them to do right
so that is ultimately personal
development is it actually takes place
on a physical level where you have these
neural connections being built and if
you do this and you build this up then
you're always actively engaged right
you're always actively engaged in
looking for opportunities to improve
yourself to grow what happens is that
you start to peel these additional
layers and those build extra
self-control into you and you start to
notice that you get more
and more ability to control your
feelings more ability to control your
emotions more ability to control your
behaviors more ability to persist in
spite of the fear to have courage more
ability to to learn more ability to
introspect to be very honest with
yourself and this is a great thing and
it just kind of snowballs and you sure
to build more and more self-control on
the other hand if you're being
undisciplined if you're not observing
the practices and you're not doing the
things that you need to be doing in life
then what happens is you kind of have
the reverse process is that your brain
turns to mush your prefrontal cortex
becomes weak and you are not able to
execute on the things that you your
Higher Self wants to execute on and so
what happens is that your lower self
takes control over your higher self and
that is a very bad place to be in in
life because even though that lower self
got what it wants it got comfort it
feels good that higher self is still
there it's not dead and it wants you to
be living to your full potential and
when you're not letting to your full
potential you feel guilty you feel
horrible you feel like your soul has
been drained and that's one of the worst
feelings to have in life I definitely
don't want that for you so what are some
things you can do to build self-control
because this was a deep kind of
philosophical almost metaphysical
conversation we just had let me give you
some practical stuff one disciplined
practice have disciplined practices that
means if you're getting up in the
morning get up at a certain time when
you want to be getting up that means if
you have the intention to brush your
teeth and floss your teeth all the time
you know twice a day or whatever do that
that means you have intentions to
meditate do that if you have intentions
to journal do that if you have
intentions to show up on work on time
all the time do that if you have
intentions of of eating healthy do that
if you have intentions of going to the
gym do that and be very disciplined and
consistent about it that practice with
whatever area of your life you point it
in if you're just discipline and you're
executing consistently that trains your
brain
it requires the build-up of prefrontal
cortex just to do it it's like going to
the gym and pumping your your your
biceps it builds them up that's what
happens with your brain so have
disciplined practices and stay on top of
those that's the bottom line
quickest way to build self-control is to
follow through on your discipline
practices set a few new ones every once
in a while and build those up into
habits next unhook from media and
stimulation you are over stimulated
right now
most of you are over stimulated with
television radio gossip from your
friends advertising negative influences
from family from friends all over the
place you're over stimulated by that
stuff you need to unhook yourself from
it get back to your source spend some
time by yourself in solitude think about
things be introspective raise your level
of consciousness when you do this you
start to develop a level of self control
that's just amazing you cannot have self
control when you're plugged in when
you're plugged into the grid because
what happens is that you're like that
you become your mind becomes a lazy slug
and it plugs into the grid and what
you're looking for is you're looking at
for that cheap source of energy that you
can just plug into you just want to plug
into that TV and let go you just want to
plug in to that that chocolate ice cream
and just let go right you want to plug
into that relationship that comfortable
relationship and just let go and you
want to you want to plug into to sitting
there on the internet all day and
browsing forums and flaming other people
and leaving comments or browsing
Facebook and chatting up with your
friends gossiping about the latest
celebrity news you're just plugging in
you're letting your brain turn to mush
how can you have self-control and you do
that you can you got snip that stuff off
cut it all off spend some time thinking
being alone introspecting coming up with
goals coming up with visions coming up
with ideas for what you want to
accomplish in your life that is how to
start to get your self-control back all
right so I'm going to end it there
that's going to do it for self-control
please like this share it if you would
and then of course I'm going to direct
you to actualize org to sign up for my
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bonuses for free when you do exclusive
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also have a chance every month I give
away two hours of free live coaching on
whatever issues you've got and so I give
that away to my subscribers so if you
get fortunate you can potentially grab
that who else but ultimately I want you
to follow along I want you to subscribe
and I'll show you to follow along with
actualised org not because I need you to
be on my list but because this is
something that I believe will transform
your life the ideas that I've studied
over the last five years have opened my
mind so much to what is possible in life
what I can personally achieve and what
everybody can personally achieve because
I'm really know no one's special
what I can achieve you can achieve the
only difference is my understanding of
some of these psychological principles
is that I am developing my self mastery
and I want to help you develop your self
mastery too because when I see what is
possible for me I get so excited about
what's possible for you and I want to go
out there I want to share these
techniques with you and over the next
few years as I'm researching more and
more and more of the stuff I've
literally committed my life to
researching all the nuances of the
psychology of success and Happiness as I
research all this stuff and I bring it
to you your life can transform if you
just listen to it if you follow up with
it and you take some action on it so
right now I want you to take some action
don't just let this video fly by you and
then go off watch the next video I want
you to take some action I want you to
say I'm committed to this I want to
master myself this is important this is
going to change my life this is going to
change the life of my family it's going
to change the life of my kids this is it
my life's work is self-control and
everything else will fall into place
once I get that handled
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