How to Fall in Love with Yourself. Abandonment Reversed (Episode 119)
Summary
TLDRIn this insightful podcast, the host introduces a transformative approach to self-love, urging listeners to treat themselves as they would a loved one. By redefining the relationship with oneself through empathy, self-advocacy, and genuine care, the host provides actionable steps to repair self-esteem and never question one's worth again. The episode also promotes the speaker's nationwide tour, 'In Leo We Trust,' sharing deeper insights on confidence and personal growth.
Takeaways
- π The speaker introduces a new approach to self-love, emphasizing the importance of never questioning one's worth or value regardless of others' treatment.
- ποΈ The speaker is going on a tour called 'In Leo, We Trust' to discuss confidence and share deep insights learned recently, including perspectives on resentment.
- π€ A key exercise is to imagine being in the body of someone you love to understand how to treat oneself with the same care and attention.
- π‘οΈ Prioritizing one's feelings and well-being over others' convenience is a form of self-love, akin to how one would protect a loved one.
- π² Checking in with oneself regularly, as one would with a loved one, fosters a deeper connection and self-awareness.
- π Being willing to halt daily activities for oneself, as one would for a loved one in distress, is a sign of self-importance and care.
- π Combating negative self-talk by reassuring oneself as one would a loved one builds emotional resilience and self-worth.
- π¨ Recognizing the impact of one's actions on oneself, and being willing to endure short-term pain for long-term gain, aligns with self-discipline.
- β° Making time for oneself, as one would for a loved one, is crucial for self-connection and self-appreciation.
- π Celebrating one's own accomplishments and treating them as importantly as one would celebrate a loved one reinforces self-importance.
- π Seeing oneself in entirety rather than focusing on flaws, as one would do for a loved one, promotes a holistic self-image and acceptance.
- π€ Justifying emotions is unnecessary; one should acknowledge their feelings as valid without needing to prove them, as one would with a loved one.
- π€ Reassuring oneself with 'I'm with you' during challenging times can be as comforting and transformative as offering the same reassurance to a loved one.
Q & A
What is the main theme of the podcast episode discussed in the transcript?
-The main theme of the podcast episode is a new approach to self-love and how to never question one's worth or value again, regardless of how others treat them.
What was the title of the previous podcast episode mentioned in the transcript?
-The title of the previous podcast episode mentioned is 'Episode 18', which focused on self-love and a 12-step journey towards it.
What is the name of the speaker's upcoming tour, and what is its significance?
-The name of the speaker's upcoming tour is 'In Leo, We Trust'. It signifies the speaker's intention to discuss confidence at a deeper level than before, sharing new perspectives and insights gained from recent experiences.
How does the speaker suggest treating oneself as one would treat someone they love?
-The speaker suggests treating oneself with the same care, attention, and respect as one would for someone they love, including prioritizing one's feelings, checking in on one's emotional state, and being an advocate for oneself.
What is the speaker's perspective on the importance of self-advocacy?
-The speaker emphasizes the importance of self-advocacy by stating that one should not be afraid to inconvenience others for the sake of their own well-being and comfort, just as they would do for someone they love.
How does the speaker recommend dealing with feelings of discomfort in social situations?
-The speaker recommends acknowledging one's discomfort and, if necessary, leaving the situation without forcing oneself to stay out of fear of inconveniencing others.
What is the significance of the speaker's approach to self-love in terms of emotional well-being?
-The speaker's approach to self-love is significant for emotional well-being as it promotes self-compassion, self-awareness, and self-respect, which are crucial for maintaining a healthy emotional state.
How does the speaker address the issue of self-criticism and second-guessing oneself?
-The speaker advises to treat oneself with the same kindness and reassurance as one would for someone they love, combating negative self-talk and focusing on the entirety of oneself rather than just the flaws.
What is the speaker's advice on celebrating personal accomplishments?
-The speaker encourages celebrating personal accomplishments with a moment of gratitude and appreciation, just as one would for someone they love, to reinforce the importance and value of one's achievements.
How does the speaker suggest one should view themselves in relation to their flaws and desires for self-improvement?
-The speaker suggests viewing oneself in their entirety, acknowledging but not solely focusing on flaws or areas of desired improvement, much like one would do for someone they love.
What is the final piece of advice the speaker gives for reinforcing self-love and self-worth?
-The final piece of advice is to reassure oneself with the phrase 'I'm with you,' signifying a commitment to self-support and self-companionship, regardless of emotional state or life circumstances.
Outlines
π‘ New Approach to Self-Love
The speaker introduces a novel perspective on self-love, emphasizing the importance of never questioning one's worth. They discuss an upcoming tour called 'In Leo, We Trust,' which will delve into confidence and personal growth. The speaker also mentions a past podcast episode about their journey to self-love, highlighting the idea that it's a continuous process rather than a fixed state. They encourage the audience to buy tickets for the tour through the links provided in the description and social media bios.
π€ Prioritizing Self-Care and Emotional Well-being
This paragraph focuses on the concept of self-advocacy and the importance of prioritizing one's own feelings and needs. The speaker suggests that people should treat themselves with the same care and consideration they would give to someone they love. They discuss the idea of not being afraid to inconvenience others for the sake of one's own comfort and well-being, and the importance of checking in with oneself regularly. The speaker also emphasizes the need to stand up for oneself and to be willing to disappoint others if necessary for personal growth and happiness.
π Embracing Self-Compassion and Discipline
The speaker continues the theme of self-love by discussing the importance of self-compassion and discipline. They suggest that individuals should be willing to stop their day to address their own emotional needs, just as they would for someone they love. The speaker also touches on the idea of being aware of one's actions and their impact, and the willingness to endure short-term pain for long-term gain. They advocate for making time for oneself and celebrating personal achievements, emphasizing the value of self-celebration and the positive reinforcement it provides.
π Celebrating Personal Interests and Prioritizing Self-Worth
In this paragraph, the speaker talks about the importance of valuing one's own interests and not criticizing oneself for what is important to them. They encourage the audience to make time for activities they enjoy and to stop questioning the value of their own interests. The speaker also discusses the importance of complimenting oneself and celebrating personal achievements, like birthdays or accomplishments, to reinforce a positive self-image and a strong sense of self-worth.
π The Importance of Self-Celebration and Acknowledging Emotions
The speaker emphasizes the need for self-celebration and the acknowledgment of one's own emotions. They recount a personal experience of deciding to celebrate their own birthday despite initial reluctance, as a way of practicing self-love. The speaker encourages the audience to celebrate their accomplishments and to appreciate their own worth. They also stress the importance of not forcing oneself to justify their feelings, advocating for the acceptance and validation of one's own emotions without the need for external validation.
π€ Reassurance and Emotional Support
The final paragraph discusses the power of reassurance and emotional support in the context of self-love. The speaker shares the personal practice of verbally reassuring oneself, using the phrase 'I'm with you,' to foster a sense of companionship and support. They highlight the transformative effect this can have on one's emotional state, especially during moments of vulnerability or challenge. The speaker concludes by reinforcing the idea that self-love is an ongoing practice that can provide a solid foundation of self-appreciation, regardless of external relationships or circumstances.
Mindmap
Keywords
π‘Self-love
π‘Value
π‘Emotional Care
π‘Advocacy
π‘Perspective
π‘Resentment
π‘Discipline
π‘Prioritization
π‘Compliments
π‘Celebration
π‘Validation
π‘Support
Highlights
A new approach to self-love that helps individuals never question their worth or value, regardless of external treatment.
The concept that self-love is a journey that requires work, not just a feeling that one has or lacks.
A personal tour called 'In Leo We Trust' focusing on confidence and deeper insights gained from recent experiences.
The importance of treating oneself with the same care and consideration as one would a loved one.
Practical steps to repair the relationship with oneself by imagining being responsible for the well-being of a loved one.
The idea of not being afraid to inconvenience others for the sake of one's own comfort and well-being.
Checking in with oneself regularly to understand and address one's feelings and needs, as one would with a loved one.
Being willing to halt daily activities to attend to one's own emotional state, as one would for a loved one in distress.
The necessity of combating negative self-talk and reassuring oneself, just as one would support a loved one.
Recognizing the importance of one's own actions and their impact on personal well-being, including the willingness to endure short-term pain for long-term gain.
Making time for oneself and prioritizing self-care, similar to how one would for a loved one.
Celebrating one's own accomplishments and treating them as significant, just as one would celebrate a loved one.
Seeing oneself in entirety, embracing all aspects, not just the flaws or areas for improvement.
The importance of not justifying emotions but simply acknowledging and validating one's feelings.
Reassuring oneself with phrases like 'I'm with you' to foster a sense of self-compassion and support.
The transformative power of treating oneself with the same love and care as one would a loved one, solidifying self-worth.
Transcripts
hi friends I have a whole new approach
to self-love and loving yourself and I
need to share it with you and this is
basically how to never question your
worth or your value again regardless of
how other people treat you my old
podcast episode episode 18 was about
selflove and my kind of 12 steps journey
to it and in that episode I talked about
how self- love is not just the feeling
that pops out of your ass like you have
it or you don't it's something you can
work toward and something you kind of
have to work toward and this new way of
looking at it is the best approach I've
found this far and this New Perspective
I unlocked on it is the best thing I've
found so I'm going to tell you exactly
how I repaired my relationship to myself
and this whole thing but I have to tell
you first I'm going back on tour if
you're watching this episode or
listening to it right now tickets are on
sale for all new cities I'm going all
over the United States as of right now I
have 20 shows that I'm doing and I'm
going everywhere all over over the US so
a lot of you got mad that I didn't come
to your city or come to a city near you
but this time I'm coming all over I just
had to do a little mini tour to test it
out but like I said if you're hearing
this right now tickets are on sale so
the link will be in the description of
this podcast whether you're on YouTube
or apple podcast Spotify any of the
audio versions and all the ticket links
will be in my social media bios on every
platform and this tour is called in Leo
We Trust cuz I just think it's
funny and you guys love that I am going
to be talking about confidence for the
most part but it's going to be 10 times
deeper than I did before the things I've
learned over the past few months and the
perspectives I've cracked I cracked a
big one recently about resentment and
I'm probably going to do a podcast
episode about it soon but everything I'm
going to talk about on this next tour is
going to be at a level I didn't even
know existed till I hit it I am so
godamn excited I can't I'm trying to
like keep it together and contain myself
but I'm so excited exed for this so if
you want a ticket the links are in the
description the last mini tour sold out
so I warned you if you don't get a
ticket sorry don't come screaming at me
later okay now let's get into the new
mental frame around self-love this is
the perspective that's going to help you
never question yourself again because I
just went through a period of that of
feeling unappreciated by people and
feeling like my value was not seen and I
started to question it we're done with
that we're never doing that again so
this is the way to experience the love
that you give other people and to
completely flip your relationship to
yourself I want you to think about the
person that you love most most people
it's going to be in a relationship and I
kind of took this into a relationship
standpoint think about someone you're
dating or the like perfect person you
can imagine to date or just use someone
you love a lot like your parent or your
kid or whoever imagine you switched
bodies for a day and you are responsible
for taking care of this person that you
love so much like you just got to be in
their body for a day now how would you
take care
of that body how would you take care of
the emotions that come up and how would
you take care of the mind that's inside
that body of the person that you love
the most this question is going to
reveal everything that needs to change
in your approach to yourself and I made
a full list of everything that I would
do and how I would treat the person that
I love the most so I'm going to run you
through my list and give you actual like
applicable daily steps and things you
can Implement make this very practical
but if you want to make make your own
list make your own list because when you
see how you would treat the person you
love the most if you were inside their
body and dealing with their emotions and
their feelings you'll be able to see how
you treat yourself is not like someone
you love the first thing I want to point
out before I jump into my list is when
you just think about being in the
person's physical body when it's someone
you love you're going to take care of
that body and cherish it you're going to
take care of it like something that you
cherish so that's going to go ahead and
reveal a lot about how you currently
treat your your body but let's jump into
my list about the deeper things like the
emotional stuff the mental stuff so
first thing on my list when I care about
somebody I'm not afraid to hurt other
people's feelings for the person I love
what I prioritize and what I care more
about is that the person that I love is
okay and comfortable and they're taking
care of their feelings are top of
consideration for me other people are
still considered but the person I love
comes over it I don't really worry about
that being an inconvenience to other
people like for me to put my effort and
focus and attention into them into
loving them and making sure they're all
right I don't really care if I'm an
inconvenience it doesn't matter to me
and I'm not talking about things always
having animosity and things being angry
and aggressive and mean of course I mean
stand up for them and protect them like
stand up for yourself and protect
yourself like you would someone you love
but I'm talking the little things when
you're in your head and you're worried
about how doing any little thing might
piss some somebody off or make them mad
at you like the whole rigid and like the
fear and like worry to take a step to
make yourself feel better when it comes
to someone you love you don't have that
you feel free to step up and take care
of the person that you love and you're
never going to realize how special that
is and how much that's appreciated until
you start doing it for yourself you're
allowed to be a bother to other people
that's showing yourself that you love
yourself I don't mean in the DraStic
extent I'm saying any thing you're
worried about doing that might
inconvenience somebody if it's to make
you feel better so be it do it be your
own Advocate speak up for yourself like
you would someone you love even if it's
as small as leaving somewhere you're
uncomfortable don't force yourself to
stay somewhere if you don't like it and
you're uncomfortable there if you don't
have to stay Let Yourself Go if other
people are going to get disappointed or
upset okay if someone you love was
uncomfortable at a party or at an event
or something that you're at if they were
uncomfortable and wanted to leave would
you tell them shut up no so and so is
going to get mad we're going to stay
here no you would take what they wanted
and what they felt into consideration
and make that important and you would
get them out of there you would leave
with them and make sure they're okay
because you wouldn't want to force them
to stay somewhere they're uncomfortable
take that same approach to yourself and
if you need to disappoint people so be
it it's not a hateful thing it's not a
mad thing it's just no longer hindering
yourself because you're so scared of
being a bother and example I've used
before is like when you're on the
airplane and you got to pee and you're
on an inside seat a lot of people myself
included I used to be so insecure and
worried to inconvenience and bother the
person next to me because I had to pee I
would literally force myself to sit
there and go to a point where I was in
pain just so I didn't voice to the
person hey can you get up so I can go
pee not letting yourself suffer for a
little like that is huge and you're
never going to feel safe with yourself
until you start to speak up for yourself
and advocate for yourself but I wanted
to bring up flipping it like someone you
care about would you force someone you
love to sit there would you tell them to
sit there and shut up and don't be an
inconvenience or would you say that's
not too much to ask at all ask them to
get up and go piss what you would do for
the person you love is the approach you
need to take that's how you can kind of
check if you're being unreasonable the
next thing on my list is you know how
when you're dating somebody you text
them throughout the day and check on
them and you're just always wondering
what they're doing what they're up to
you check on them because you care treat
yourself the same way start checking in
on yourself don't text yourself that's
kind of weird but what I mean by this is
you have just the genuine curiosity of
the person that you're dating you check
in on them you want to know what they're
doing you want to know how they're
feeling start checking in with yourself
like that wonder how you're doing check
in with you and your internal world what
do you feeling what are you thinking
what's going on what's T check in on
yourself the way you text and check on
someone you love and that just comes
from a genuine place of just wanting to
know how they're doing and then watch
how much more looked after and cared for
you feel by yourself and then tell me
that's not
valuable next thing on my list when it
comes to someone that I love I'm willing
to stop my day if they're not all right
you need to take that same approach to
yourself you need to be willing to Halt
what you're doing if you can don't be
too dramatic with it but be willing to
halt your day like if your person texts
you and says they're upset or they're
really down or something's bothering
them you halt what you're doing to give
them your attention and your focus when
you feel down and you feel upset if
you're willing to halt your day for
someone you love you need to make room
and do that for yourself also and I do
want to clear up something because a lot
of people get too extreme with this
and they forget discipline so the way
that I Implement discipline with this
because you sometimes can't just stop
your day but checking in with yourself
when you do feel something off before
you do something even if you're going to
do it just checking in and seeing how
you're feeling and noticing it and then
choosing to do what you wanted to do
anyways is different because you're
taking an action from a standpoint of
being aware of what's going on and being
like okay I feel this way I'm still
going to do this thing versus feeling
something not paying attention to it
bulldozing it avoiding it closing your
eyes to it and just going for it anyway
there might be something you need to
take into consideration with yourself
and if there's something you can do to
make yourself feel better about what
you're about to do check in with
yourself so that you know what to do
this seems like such an easy concept but
we forget about it and that's something
that tends to slit my mind a lot when
I'm really really busy but since I've
started implementing all this I feel
brought back to life you are the only
person that's ever going to be able to
make sure you're okay and just check in
with yourself and knowing what's going
on is the best thing you can do just
acknowledging it even if you're going to
still continue forward with what you
need to do just being aware of it
checking in and looking after yourself
and just genuinely being concerned with
what's going on inside you giving your
attention to it like you would for
someone you love that's not you like
outside of you next thing we need to
talk about is when someone you love is
down on themselves or they're second
guessing their selves and they're kind
of beating themselves up a little little
bit how you going to treat someone when
you see them doing that to themselves
and if you take on the perspective of
being inside the person you loves body
how you going to respond to those
thoughts and the things going on in the
person's mind that you love you just in
their body observing it how are you
going to reassure this body you're in
for the person you love how are you
going to approach those thoughts because
you see the value in the person that you
love you're just in their environment
you're in their body observing what's
going on how are you going to address it
how are you going to take care of those
thoughts you're not just going to let
them go and let them beat the person you
love up you're going to combat them and
be like no the person I love is not
worthless they're not stupid they're not
dumb and you're going to want to
reassure the thoughts inside the person
you loves head do that in your own head
when you're second guessing yourself you
have to be accountable duh like always
be accountable and check yourself you
would check the person you love I hope
I'm like that I check the people that I
care about out but I also reassure them
like I see and call out what needs to be
called out but I don't do it in a way
that's degrading and dismissive to all
their other qualities I remind them of
all their other qualities and Empower
them and reassure them literally anytime
you start worrying about it just imagine
these thoughts in the person's mind you
love and you're in their body look at
how you approach it look at how you
handle them and then use that to
yourself all right next on my list is
when I care about somebody I'm very very
aware of how my actions impact them and
what will hurt them or what could
potentially be damaging to them and then
I do not do them if you were in the
person you loves body for a day what
actions would you not take that you
usually do in your own body what would
you have to stop doing but another angle
with that one is with the people that I
love and the people that I care about I
am willing to do things that hurt them
if what I'm doing is in line with what's
best for them if I see something is
beneficial to someone I love and care
about if it means causing them a little
bit of pain right now for what's best
for them I'm willing to do it I'm
willing to hurt them a little to get
them to what they need and what they
really want if you need to remove
something remove it because you see why
you're doing it you see the positive
benefit now with yourself if you know
that there's something you need to do or
something that could cause you pain pain
but would benefit you and if pain is The
Upfront thing you need to deal with but
what you want is on the other side you
need to be willing to endure that and
put yourself through that to get to what
you want that goes in line with
discipline that goes in line with so
many things but just doing what you need
to do doing what's best for you is not a
fun thing it's a pain in the ass but
this perspective makes it a lot easier
for me next thing with people you love
what do you do you make time for them
you prioritize them you like hanging out
with them one of my favorite things to
do is hang out with myself but you have
to make the time to hang out with
yourself and to be alone and have your
own little moment prioritizing and
making sure you have time for someone
you love is something you need to
experience if you do not feel like you
love yourself you need to make time and
schedule time if you have to if you're
that busy make time to be with yourself
and sit with yourself I'm not saying you
have to meditate and all this
I'm just saying hang out with yourself
read something Journal something
something check in with yourself put on
some music hang out have a time where
there's no distraction I mean finish my
podcast but like have a time when
there's no distraction from you just
hang out with you do what you want to do
go shopping One Day by yourself go take
yourself to dinner but the point behind
this is making time for yourself because
it sends you the message you are worth
prioritizing and you get to feel what
it's like to have someone make time for
you it's yourself but like I said in the
beginning of this this is about not
questioning the love you have to give
and how you care about people and
actually loving yourself when you
experience this you know what other
people feel when you make time for them
you see how valuable it is when you give
that to other people by giving it to
yourself that's the main thing with all
this next thing this is gets delusional
with a lot of people but you know when
you're dating somebody or you really
care about somebody and what is
important to them no longer seems weird
like people can be into some weird
and you all of a sudden are like cool
with it and you're like okay this is
important and you make it be important
for them and you let it be important for
them and you prioritize it and you make
sure they get to do what's important to
them you don't criticize what's
important to them stop criticizing
what's important to you if you like
something do it it's not up for
criticism it's not up to be questioned
and dissected you're allowed for what's
important to you to be important to you
so start showing yourself that's okay
the same way you would do that for
someone that you do care about and that
you do love and I do want to emphasize
even if it's some weird other
people don't have to understand if it's
important to you it's important to you
that's okay that's fine but you allowing
yourself to let it be important is the
thing here you're allowed to like what
you like not like it next thing is a
little one but it's big when you care
about somebody a lot you be
complimenting them you be appreciating
them give compliments to yourself God
damn it like when you get in the mirror
or you like something about yourself
give yourself a compliment like make a
mental note of it and point it out for
yourself like the way that you point
things out and you say things to make
someone you love feel good do that about
you it's not weird to compliment
yourself it's not weird to look in the
mirror and be like hey you ate with this
fit that's kind of cute or to be nice
and be like okay you look hot the
like complimenting yourself and giving
yourself encouragement and little boosts
like this is huge that's something
people forget to do and there's so much
shame around it you're allowed to
compliment yourself and that's one thing
I wish a lot of people would do more and
not make it seem like it's so weird and
anyone watching this video you don't
have to worry about the misplaced
confidence you barely have any
if you're dealing with self- Lov you're
cripplingly insecure when you're on this
spectrum if you're watching this video
you can never get to a point where you
delusionally have a big head you're
allowed to compliment yourself you know
it takes a lot to get a compliment from
yourself if you're watching this I know
I see you but literally practice giving
yourself compliments like the same way
you would give to someone that you love
start looking at yourself like that it's
fine to be like I'm funny as or
like that was cute whatever I just did
that was cute or just anything you can
appreciate about yourself take a second
to do it it's not weird it's not crazy
it's necessary and if you want to tap
into the perspective of being inside
their body what little things do they
say and like think that's cute like what
little mannerisms do they have where
you're like oh that's cute look at
yourself like that start looking at
every little thing that you do and be
like oh okay like appreciate it for a
goddamn second okay before we keep going
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now the next thing with people I love is
I like to celebrate them whether it's
their birthday or an accomplishment or
something that they did giving them a
moment of praise and celebration with
them is a big thing I love to do it and
that's something I was not going to do
this year for my birthday was I was just
going to work through it because I have
a lot of stuff going on with this tour
and everything that's going into it it's
a lot of work but I was like I just want
to kind of skip my birthday and go over
it I'm 26 I feel like I'm getting old I
don't like it I just wanted to just not
celebrate it but I've hit this whole new
mindset and this new approach and I did
celebrate myself like you need to start
celebrating yourself and your
accomplishments and the things that you
do and Achieve with a moment of just
gratitude and appreciation for yourself
for it celebrate your goddamn self like
somebody you love if you would buy them
balloons go buy yourself balloons if you
would buy them flowers or buy them
champagne and drink with them do it get
your friends together celebrate yourself
make yourself important make what you've
accomplished be important and as soon as
you see it as important and you let
yourself feel important about it people
are going to want to join in the next
thing is a really really big one and
it's with the people you love you see
the entirety of them you see all of them
when you look at them whether it's
physically emotionally mentally any of
it you don't just look at them and see
their flaws do not do that to
yourself stop stop looking at yourself
and just seeing what's wrong with you
and the little few things you would
nitpick or the things that you want to
change look at the entirety of yourself
stop just focusing in and pinpointing
the things you don't like you don't look
at someone you love like that and I'm
not saying don't change things you want
to change I'm just saying don't only
focus on that look at and see yourself
entirely as a person instead of just
your flaws and just your issues
everybody has things they want to change
everybody has things they don't like but
when you look at someone you love you
don't only see those things so stop
doing that to you and literally watch
how much changes just off of that cuz
when you're insecure and you're not
operating like this you'll only see in
situations where you'll look back on
conversations be like oh I shouldn't
have said this or this wasn't funny I'm
annoying I'm this I'm that look at the
entirety of yourself not just this one
or two little things you said in a
minute conversation and nitpick yourself
for it there's things that the people we
love do that are annoying
there's little things that are like okay
irritating but we Overlook it because we
see them as an entire person not just
these one or two little flaws or one or
two little fuckups so that's one thing I
really want to say is don't be like that
to yourself you're not like that to
someone you love so put that toward you
now the next one is justifying
emotions when you love someone and you
care about someone they do not have to
explain
and build a case for why they feel the
way that they do when they come to you
and say they feel something you see it
for what it is and you acknowledge it
and say okay you don't poke at them and
make them prove that they're Justified
to feel the way that they do stop
doing that to you that's
something I had to crack recently very
recently is feeling like I needed to
build a case to prove why I feel the way
that I do me just saying I'm
uncomfortable I'm tired I don't like
this or I feel like I don't resonate
with this I felt like I had to fight to
hold on to and be allowed to hold this
emotion you don't have to fight to hold
an emotion how you feel is how
you feel so don't write yourself off or
look for all these things and all this
proof of why you're allowed to feel the
way that you do oh it's because I have
this this this this and this stop making
the proof you feel how you feel and
that's it stop fighting to feel like
you're allowed to acknowledge how you
feel and like feeling like you have to
prove your anger or prove your hurt or
prove your sadness because when you feel
like you have to justify feeling hurt by
something you're just going to see all
the ways it hurts you and you're going
to get stuck in it and you're going to
start to fight to be able to hold that
emotion and be stuck to it and attached
to it longer like if something small
makes you upset it's allowed to make you
upset you don't have to like it
triggered me from this from my childhood
it's from this this and this and it's
all these things I already have going on
you understand how you feel you already
know why it's bothering you you
understand why this impacted you even if
it's something small your reaction is
your reaction and the way you feel is
the way you feel stop feeling like you
have to remind yourself and give
yourself like a fact check of like
you're not allowed to feel this way but
I I've felt this this and this and I've
been through this this and this now I
can feel this way just let yourself feel
how you feel and acknowledge it
stop trying to proof for it and just
validate it you're upset by something
you're hurt by something you're mad okay
that's totally fine now what just
letting how you feel be how you feel and
just seeing it for what it is is going
to set you free a lot faster than having
to justify why you're allowed to feel
that way that's not up for discussion no
more how you feels how you feel
now acknowledge it in yourself like you
would someone you love now the last one
on my list
is the one that's helped me the most
when it comes to someone I love I always
reassure them and make sure I say to
them I'm with you and I make sure they
know that I'm there for
them that's something I've had to start
saying a lot to myself and it's been
very emotional to just look at myself in
the mirror or to just say to myself in
my head I'm with you when you stop
abandoning yourself and you reassure
yourself like you would someone you love
I'm with you I've got you I'm here it
changes the entire way you feel about
anything just bringing your attention
and your focus to yourself helps you not
feel abandoned like when you're going in
to do something and you're nervous or
you're scared or you're worried and you
just say to yourself I'm with you your
Consciousness your focus your everything
is centered with you this body and your
mind it's all separate your soul is
separate but it's the same at the same
time but just getting the verbal
reassurance of I'm with you I'm here for
you is going to change your entire
life literally anytime you're
feeling upset or literally any emotion
I'm with you when you're in the good
moments and the happy moments I'm with
you you feel so much more reconnected to
yourself and it becomes a lot harder to
abandon yourself when you start treating
yourself like someone you love and
reassure you you're with you and you've
got you when you start loving yourself
like you love other
people it becomes impossible to question
your value and your worth because you
feel it like you're never going to go
forward after you start implementing how
you love other people toward you when
you lose somebody or you break up with
somebody and you leave them they leave
you whatever it is you're not going to
be able to question yourself because
you're still with yourself you still
have love they didn't take it and they
didn't leave with your ability to
appreciate yourself because you are
still giving yourself to yourself this
is something I cannot emphasize enough
and I just went through a whole big
period of questioning myself and this is
the whole resolution I've come to around
it and feeling solid in it no one can
come in and out of my life anymore and
take my ability to appreciate myself
because I'm not leaving myself I'm not
leaving with them I'm still here with me
like I said on the last point I'm with
you
whether you're happy sad pissed off I'm
here that's all you have to say to
yourself and it's the craziest thing the
shift that will happen but I hope you
found this helpful if you liked it leave
this video a thumbs up and if you're
listening to the audio version on Apple
podcast and Spotify leave this podcast
the five stars rating thank you so much
and also tickets again to my tour will
be linked in the description I'll also
have the links to all of my social media
and everything else you need from me but
everybody be safe go start implenting
this all right take care of
yourself and I'll talk to you guys next
Sunday
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