How to give Powerful Feedback when Coaching

Summary

The video script focuses on the importance of providing constructive feedback for personal and professional growth. It introduces the concept of 'two by two feedback,' a method that involves first asking the coachee what they did well, followed by the coach's observation of their performance. This builds trust and confidence. The process continues with the coachee reflecting on what they would do differently and the coach offering a single suggestion for improvement. The script emphasizes the need for a coaching contract to establish trust and the distinction between feedback and advice. It concludes by stressing the manager's role in providing honest, supportive feedback, managing their own discomfort, and leaving the conversation with a positive note or direction for the coachee's development.

Takeaways

• 📝 **Two Types of Feedback**: The script discusses the difference between conditioned feedback for survival learning and positive, constructive feedback for neocortex learning, which aids in growth and thriving.
• 🌟 **Positive Learning**: Emphasizes the importance of providing feedback that is processed by the neocortex to promote improvement and growth in individuals.
• 🤝 **Coaching Contract**: Highlights the necessity of establishing a coaching contract with direct reports to ensure they understand the purpose and process of feedback.
• 👀 **Observation and Active Listening**: Stresses the need for active observation and engagement during feedback sessions, using impact questions and active listening techniques.
• 🔢 **Two by Two Feedback Model**: Introduces a simple yet effective feedback tool where the coachee is first asked about their performance, then the coach provides observations, followed by the coachee's self-reflection and finally, the coach's suggestion for improvement.
• 👍 **Building Confidence and Trust**: Explains that the first two steps of the feedback process are crucial for establishing confidence and trust, which are essential for the recipient to be receptive to growth feedback.
• 🤔 **Self-Reflection**: Encourages coachees to self-assess and identify areas for improvement, fostering a culture of continuous learning and self-improvement.
• 💡 **Constructive Advice**: Coaches should provide one clear suggestion for improvement after the coachee has self-reflected, keeping the feedback focused and actionable.
• 🔨 **Discipline and Consistency**: Underlines the importance of being disciplined and consistent in giving feedback to build a habit of self-assessment and improvement among team members.
• 🤗 **Manager's Role in Feedback**: Acknowledges the discomfort managers may feel when giving feedback but emphasizes the professional responsibility to support the development and performance of their team.
• 🚫 **Separating Feedback and Advice**: Clarifies the distinction between feedback, which is the sharing of observations and data, and advice, which involves offering solutions or judgments.
• 🎁 **Leaving a Gift**: Suggests that managers should end coaching conversations by offering a piece of themselves, be it an observation, advice, or direction, to reinforce the relationship and support the coachee's growth.

Q & A

What are the two types of feedback discussed in the transcript?

The two types of feedback discussed are conditioned feedback of consequences, which is related to the survival brain, and positive, constructive feedback, which is processed by the neocortex and aids in growth and thriving.

How does the survival brain learn according to the transcript?

The survival brain learns through the conditioned feedback of consequences, which is a form of survival learning. For example, a child learns not to touch a flame after experiencing pain.

What is the purpose of positive and constructive feedback?

Positive and constructive feedback is given to help individuals improve, thrive, and grow. It is processed by the neocortex, which is the part of the brain associated with higher-level learning.

What is the 'two by two feedback' technique?

The 'two by two feedback' technique is a simple and effective method that involves asking the coachee what they did well, offering an observation of what the coach thinks the coachee did well, asking the coachee what they would do differently next time, and finally, providing one suggestion for improvement.

Why is it important to establish a coaching contract with direct reports?

A coaching contract is important to establish trust, clarify expectations, and ensure that direct reports understand the purpose of feedback, which is to aid their growth and development.

How does the transcript suggest building confidence and trust during feedback sessions?

Confidence and trust are built by engaging the coachee in a dialogue about what they did well, offering observations, and then discussing areas for improvement. This approach ensures that the coachee is actively involved and feels respected.

What is the role of self-reflection in the feedback process?

Self-reflection is crucial as it allows the coachee to analyze their performance, identify areas for improvement, and plan for future actions. It is a part of the 'two by two feedback' process where the coachee is asked what they would do differently next time.

Why is it important to distinguish between feedback and advice?

Distinguishing between feedback and advice is important because feedback is about sharing observations and facts, while advice involves offering solutions or judgments. Keeping these separate ensures that the feedback is clear and focused on the coachee's performance.

How can a manager manage their own discomfort when giving constructive feedback?

A manager can manage their discomfort by having a clear coaching contract in place, pre-facing the feedback with an explanation of their intentions, and focusing on the goal of improving the coachee's performance and success.

What is the significance of leaving a 'gift' at the end of a coaching conversation?

Leaving a 'gift', which could be an observation, advice, or direction, provides value to the coachee and shows that the manager is invested in their development. It also helps to balance the coaching with guidance, making the manager's role more effective.

Why is it essential for managers to be honest and provide truthful feedback to their team members?

Managers need to be honest because they are often the only source of truthful feedback that team members can rely on. This feedback is critical for personal and professional development, performance improvement, and the realization of the individual's full potential.

How does the 'two by two feedback' technique contribute to the development of skills?

The 'two by two feedback' technique contributes to skill development by encouraging self-assessment and providing a structured approach to receiving and acting on feedback. It promotes a culture of continuous improvement and self-growth.