STEM and Me: My experiences with intersectionality and identity | Normandy Filcek | TEDxYorkSchool

Summary

The speaker shares their personal journey of navigating their identity as a STEM enthusiast who also embraces femininity and other interests. They reflect on societal pressures and the internal conflict of balancing seemingly contradictory aspects of their identity, such as being passionate about science and technology while expressing traditionally 'girly' traits. Through self-discovery, therapy, and mindfulness techniques like dialectical thinking and radical acceptance, they learn to embrace their multifaceted identity. The speaker encourages the audience to celebrate their own contradictions and see the beauty in them, just as they have learned to do.

Takeaways

• 👗 The speaker has always been conscious of their fashion choices but struggles to find a style that reflects their multifaceted personality.
• 🧑‍🔬 They are passionate about STEM but find that their love for traditionally feminine clothing doesn’t align with practical work environments, such as robotics labs.
• 👩‍🔧 Mythbusters, especially Carrie Byron, served as a significant inspiration for the speaker’s interest in STEM from an early age.
• 📊 Gender disparity in STEM fields is highlighted, with only 35 women for every 100 STEM positions, affecting young girls' interest in math and science early on.
• 🧠 Middle school was a challenging period of self-discovery for the speaker, where they grappled with their identity as queer, neurodivergent, and dealing with mental health issues.
• 🌈 The speaker reflects on how media and societal portrayals of STEM often exclude women and other underrepresented groups, shaping perceptions that limit personal expression.
• 🤖 They share their struggle of trying to fit into the stereotypical STEM mold, feeling the need to downplay their femininity and personality to succeed in the field.
• 🧘‍♀️ Therapy taught the speaker two essential skills: dialectical thinking (accepting contradictory realities) and radical acceptance (acknowledging what is and isn’t within one’s control).
• 💪 The speaker encourages embracing all aspects of one’s identity, even when they seem contradictory, and celebrates the uniqueness that comes from these paradoxes.
• 🧩 The closing message is an invitation to reflect on seemingly contradictory parts of one’s identity and embrace how they enhance each other, advocating for self-acceptance and breaking societal expectations.

Q & A

What is the speaker's early relationship with fashion like?

As a child, the speaker was allowed to dress themselves, which often resulted in outfits they now consider mismatched. However, as they grew older, they became more concerned about their style, wanting it to reflect their personality while still feeling insecure about how others perceive them.

Why does the speaker feel conflicted about their fashion choices in relation to their STEM career?

The speaker loves wearing flowing dresses and floral patterns, but these outfits are impractical for working in STEM environments, such as robotics or chemistry labs. This creates a conflict between their feminine fashion sense and their practical needs in STEM.

Who was the speaker's role model in STEM growing up and why?

The speaker's role model was Carrie Byron from 'Mythbusters.' They admired her for being a successful woman in STEM who conducted cool experiments, especially involving explosions. Carrie Byron stood out to the speaker because she was often the only female host on the show.

How does the speaker describe the representation of women in STEM?

The speaker highlights that women are significantly underrepresented in STEM, with only 35 women for every 100 STEM positions. This gender disparity often starts in childhood, where girls are discouraged from math and science as early as second grade.

What challenges did the speaker face in middle school regarding their identity and interests?

In middle school, the speaker struggled with their interest in STEM, their emerging queer identity, ADHD, depression, anxiety, and insomnia. These discoveries about themselves added complexity to an already difficult period of growing up, particularly during the pandemic.

How does the speaker compare themselves to Leonardo da Vinci?

The speaker relates to Leonardo da Vinci's varied interests, procrastination, and brilliance, especially as he was an unconventional figure. However, they note a significant difference: da Vinci was celebrated for these traits as a man, while the speaker felt criticized for similar qualities as a woman.

What realization did the speaker come to regarding internalized misogyny?

The speaker realized that societal expectations pressured them to suppress parts of their identity, such as their femininity, to fit into STEM. They recognized that this pressure was internalized, and they had to stop pushing themselves to conform to these narrow standards.

What two skills did the speaker's therapist teach them to combat internalized misogyny?

The speaker's therapist taught them dialectical thinking and radical acceptance. Dialectical thinking allows the speaker to hold contradictory ideas simultaneously without invalidating them, while radical acceptance helps them acknowledge what they can and cannot control.

How does the speaker embrace their multifaceted identity?

The speaker embraces their diverse identity by accepting that they can be both a STEM enthusiast and have traditionally feminine interests. They accept that all aspects of their identity, even those that seem contradictory, are valid and part of who they are.

What message does the speaker leave with the audience at the end of the speech?

The speaker encourages the audience to reflect on two aspects of their identity that might seem contradictory and embrace the complexity within themselves. They emphasize the importance of accepting one's own paradoxical nature and celebrating the unique combination of traits that make each person who they are.