The Handsome Curse: Why Being Good-Looking is a Big Problem For Men

Summary

The speaker discusses the misconception that handsome men have an easy time in relationships, revealing that they often attract superficial women interested only in their looks. He advises handsome men to step out of their comfort zone and pursue women they genuinely desire. For average or below-average looking men, the speaker emphasizes the importance of initiating interactions and creating a connection through confidence and charisma. He argues that maintaining a loving relationship is key to ensuring attraction lasts, regardless of physical appearance.

Takeaways

• 😎 Handsome men often attract superficial women who are primarily interested in their looks, not their character.
• 🤔 Attractive women may pursue less attractive men for social status, leaving the men feeling undervalued in the relationship.
• 🚀 Handsome men need to step out of their comfort zone and actively approach women they find attractive to avoid settling.
• 🧐 Average or below-average looking men can attract beautiful women by making them feel good during interactions, not just relying on physical appearance.
• 💡 Confidence and the ability to create a connection are more important than physical appearance in attracting a partner.
• 🌟 Displaying traits like confidence, charm, and charisma can make a woman see a man as more physically attractive over time.
• 💬 Effective communication and creating a dynamic that fosters love and respect are crucial for maintaining a relationship.
• 🔗 A strong relationship built on love and mutual respect can make physical appearance less significant over time.
• 👫 Being proactive in selecting a partner rather than waiting to be chosen can lead to greater satisfaction in dating and relationships.
• 📚 Learning and applying techniques to attract and maintain a relationship can significantly improve one's success with women.

Q & A

What is the common misconception about handsome men's relationships with women?

The common misconception is that handsome men's problems with women are solved simply because of their looks, but the reality is that they often attract superficial women who are primarily interested in their appearance.

Why do handsome men sometimes end up in relationships with women who are not as physically attractive as them?

Handsome men may end up in such relationships because they give a chance to persistent women who pursue them, despite the women not having the looks they desire, due to the attention and validation they receive from being pursued.

How does the pursuit by superficial women affect a handsome man's self-perception in a relationship?

It can affect a handsome man's self-perception negatively, as he may feel that he is not being loved for his true character but rather for his looks, leading to a lack of genuine connection and satisfaction in the relationship.

What advice does the speaker give to handsome men to improve their dating experiences?

The speaker advises handsome men to step out of their comfort zone and actively approach and select the type of women they are genuinely attracted to, rather than settling for those who pursue them.

What is the key difference between how attractive and less attractive men are perceived to interact with women?

Attractive men are often perceived as having an easier time because women are initially more interested due to their looks, while less attractive men must focus on creating a connection through confidence, charm, and other attractive traits during the interaction.

How can a man who is not physically attractive still attract a beautiful woman?

A man who is not physically attractive can attract a beautiful woman by displaying confidence, charm, humor, and other traits that make her feel attracted to him, thus creating a spark during their interaction.

What is the term used in the script to describe the process of making a woman feel attracted during an interaction?

The term used is 'the flow,' which refers to the process of creating a spark and guiding the interaction from one step to the next, making the woman feel more and more attracted.

How does attraction to looks change over time in a relationship, according to the script?

Attraction to looks fades over time if the couple falls out of love, but if they remain in love, they continue to see each other as attractive, even decades later, due to 'love goggles.'

What is the solution for men of all looks to have successful relationships with women they are attracted to?

The solution is for men to know how to attract a woman during an interaction and then give themselves the opportunity to do so, ensuring they are the selector rather than waiting to be selected.

Why is it important for men to be the selector in their relationships, as mentioned in the script?

Being the selector allows men to have control over choosing their partners, ensuring they are with someone they truly want to be with, rather than settling for whoever pursues them.

Outlines

00:00

🤔 The Dilemma of Handsome Men in Relationships

This paragraph discusses the misconception that handsome men have an easy time in relationships due to their looks. The speaker, who is not handsome, shares insights from helping many handsome friends. The reality is that handsome men often attract superficial women who are more interested in their appearance than their character. These women may not be as physically attractive, and the relationship becomes one-sided, with the man feeling less loved for who he is. The speaker suggests that handsome men need to step out of their comfort zone and actively pursue women they are genuinely attracted to, rather than settling for those who pursue them.

05:01

💡 Strategies for Attraction Beyond Physical Appearance

The speaker explains that while handsome men might initially attract women due to their looks, it's the traits like confidence, charm, and charisma that can make a woman feel attracted during an interaction. These traits can make a woman see a man as more physically attractive over time. The speaker shares his personal journey of learning to attract women despite not being conventionally handsome. He emphasizes the importance of actively approaching women and learning how to make them feel attracted through conversation and behavior. The speaker also addresses concerns about maintaining attraction in a relationship, explaining that love and respect can deepen attraction over time, even if the initial physical appeal fades.

10:03

🚀 Be the Selector, Not the Selected

In the final paragraph, the speaker advises men to take control of their dating lives by being the selector rather than waiting to be selected by women. He points out that relying on being pursued can lead to settling for less than ideal partners. By learning how to attract women and initiating interactions, men can choose who they want to be with, leading to more satisfying relationships. The speaker also promotes his resources, such as his ebook 'The Flow' and the audiobook 'Make Her Love You for Life,' which offer techniques for attracting women and maintaining a loving relationship.

Keywords

💡Handsome

In the context of the video script, 'handsome' refers to men who are conventionally good-looking. The script challenges the assumption that handsome men have an easy time in relationships, suggesting that they often attract superficial interest based on their appearance rather than their character. For example, the speaker mentions that handsome men are pursued by women who may not be as physically attractive but are interested in them primarily for their looks.

💡Superficial

'Superficial' in the script is used to describe women who are primarily interested in a man's physical appearance rather than his personality or character. The speaker notes that handsome men often find themselves in relationships with such women, which can lead to a lack of genuine connection or love based on who they truly are. This term is used to highlight the shallow nature of some romantic pursuits.

💡Average Looking

The term 'average looking' is used to describe men who do not possess exceptional physical attractiveness. The speaker identifies himself as 'average looking' and uses this as a starting point to discuss the challenges and strategies for men who are not conventionally handsome in attracting romantic partners. It's part of the broader discussion on how attractiveness affects dating dynamics.

💡Approach Anxiety

Approach anxiety refers to the nervousness or fear that can prevent someone from initiating contact or conversation with a potential romantic interest. The script implies that handsome men might not experience approach anxiety as often because they are pursued, while average or below-average looking men must overcome it to initiate interactions with attractive women.

💡Confidence

Confidence is a recurring theme in the script, where it is presented as a key trait that can help men, regardless of their looks, attract women. The speaker suggests that displaying confidence in interactions can make a woman feel attracted, even if the man is not conventionally handsome. It's used as an example of a non-physical attribute that can be more important in dating success than looks.

💡Charm

'Charm' is mentioned as one of the traits that can help a man attract a woman, alongside confidence and charisma. The speaker explains that being charming can create a positive impression and make a woman feel good during an interaction, which can lead to attraction even if the man is not physically attractive. It's part of the broader message that personality traits are crucial in dating.

💡Attraction

Attraction in the script is not solely based on physical appearance but also on how a person makes another feel during an interaction. The speaker discusses how creating 'sparks of attraction' through behavior, humor, and conversation can lead to a woman perceiving a man as more attractive, even if he is not traditionally handsome.

💡Selector

Being a 'selector' means taking the initiative to choose and approach a romantic partner rather than waiting to be chosen. The script encourages men to be selectors, as it allows them to be in control of their dating outcomes and not just settle for whoever shows interest in them. It's a concept that promotes proactive dating strategies.

💡Love Goggles

The term 'love goggles' is used metaphorically to describe the phenomenon where people in love perceive their partners as more attractive than they might objectively be. The speaker explains that when a couple is in love, they continue to see each other as attractive, even as the initial physical attraction might fade over time.

💡Dynamic

In the context of the script, 'dynamic' refers to the evolving nature of a relationship, particularly how love, respect, and attraction grow or diminish over time. The speaker emphasizes the importance of maintaining a healthy relationship dynamic to ensure that both partners continue to feel attracted to each other, regardless of external factors like physical appearance.

Highlights

Handsome men often attract superficial women who are primarily interested in their looks.

Handsome men may settle for less attractive women due to their persistence, even if they desire someone more physically appealing.

Attractive women may pursue handsome men for social and emotional benefits, rather than genuine love for their character.

Handsome men may feel less loved and connected in relationships because they are often valued for their looks rather than their personality.

Handsome men should step out of their comfort zone and approach women they find attractive to improve their dating experiences.

Average or below-average looking men can attract beautiful women by making them feel good during interactions.

Confidence is key for men of all looks to approach and attract women; it can compensate for physical appearance.

Displaying traits like charm, charisma, and humor can make a woman see a man as more physically attractive, regardless of initial judgment.

The speaker's own experience of not being handsome led to developing skills in attracting women, which ultimately benefited him in dating.

Attraction to looks fades over time in a relationship if love and respect are not maintained.

Men should be the selector in relationships, actively choosing women they are attracted to, rather than waiting to be selected.

The speaker's ebook 'The Flow' and program 'Make Her Love You for Life' offer techniques for attracting women and maintaining relationships.

Being the selector allows men to be in control of their dating life and choose the partners they truly want.

Maintaining a dynamic of growing love, respect, and attraction is crucial for keeping a relationship strong and preventing infidelity.

The idea that physical attraction is the most important factor in a relationship is debunked; emotional connection plays a significant role.

Men of all looks can experience success in dating if they understand how to create attraction during interactions.

Transcripts

a lot of guys assume that if a man is

handsome then all of his problems with

women are going to be solved but as

someone who has a number of handsome

friends I'm not handsome myself I know

I'm just average looking but as someone

who has a number of handsome friends and

has helped a lot of handsome men over

the years to become successful with

women I'm aware of a secret that a lot

of handsome men keep and rarely share

with anyone else and that is handsome

men are often pursued by very

superficial women who really only want

him for his looks in most cases the

woman doesn't have the kind of looks

that he really wants but because she is

pursuing him and she's being persistent

he gives her a chance and ends up in a

relationship with her yet in other cases

the woman is pretty but she is

superficial in that she really cares

about looks and thinks it's the most

important thing and as a result in both

cases the handsome guy doesn't really

feel like he's being loved for his true

character director the woman is mostly

with him because of his looks if she's

not very physically attractive herself

right she's average or below average

looking then it's a huge bonus for her

socially and emotionally to have a

handsome guy right she can show off to

her family and friends she can walk down

the street and feel proud that she's got

a handsome guy and so forth but the

handsome guy is getting the short end of

the stick there he's not getting a

really good deal it's great that he was

pursued by her and for a while that

might have made him feel kind of good

but it's not the kind of love that

another guy will get to experience where

the woman actually loves him for who he

is right she really loves his character

she loves the way he makes her feel and

so forth now of course many handsome men

out there do get to experience that at

times but for the most part handsome men

get pursued by superficial women or

unattractive women and they eventually

give those women a chance and the

handsome man is looked at by other guys

as being really cool and handsome like

he can get all the girls but secretly he

doesn't feel as loved and he doesn't

feel the kind of connection that he

really wants to experience so first I'll

talk about what a handsome man can do to

fix the problem and then I'll explain

what an average looking guy or a below

average looking guy can do to access

attractive women what a handsome man

needs to do is something that's

difficult for a lot of handsome men and

that is they need to get out of their

comfort zone and actually approach and

select the type of women that they

really want right a lot of handsome guys

get into a comfort zone where they get

approached by women that usually aren't

that attractive but they pursue them and

they give them a chance and they kind of

go through that and eventually get a

girl in many cases that's fairly good

she's decent and the guy then settles

down with her but secretly he's thinking

damn it I wish I had a prettier

girlfriend or a prettier wife right but

he never did step out of his comfort

zone and actually walk up and talked to

women that he found attractive and get a

relationship started with them instead

now for average looking guys or below

average looking guys just understand

that in most cases a beautiful woman is

not going to be amazed by your physical

appearance and then come over and talk

to you and want to be with you it's

rarely if ever going to happen but a

beautiful woman can feel Amazed by how

you make her feel when you interact with

her this is why you'll see guys and

wonder how did he get her right it

doesn't seem to make sense because the

man and woman aren't on the same level

of looks physically she looks more

physically attractive than him so how

did he get her in many cases he got her

by giving himself a chance to actually

try to attract her and get things moving

along he gave himself a chance right and

by doing that he often comes across as a

guy who has a bit of confidence because

he's actually giving it a go right he's

going after what he wants and if he's

Det determined during the interaction

not in a desperate way but determined to

stay in there and continue talking to

her and create a spark by you know

cracking some jokes here and there being

a bit charming and so forth then in many

cases he'll get a chance right now if he

has a higher level of skill I only

actually understands how to attract

women during a conversation then it's

going to be a lot easier for him he's

going to get results more often but some

guys are able to get a chance just by

giving themselves a chance right giving

themselves the opportunity to talk to

the woman and actually get things moving

along most of the guys who have

contacted me over the years who complain

about the dating scene and say that it's

all too difficult women are too picky

and so forth are the guys who don't

actually walk up and talk to attractive

women now of course some guys do

approach attractive women but they don't

know how to attract her during a

conversation or they come across as too

nervous too unsure of themselves or they

say the wrong thing things during the

interaction that gets the woman's guard

up and the guy then doesn't get a chance

and he says well beautiful women

attractive women they're all too picky

it's too difficult I can't do it no no

no no no no now it's usually easier for

a handsome man because when he starts

talking to a woman she looks at his

physical appearance and the fact that he

has the confidence to come over and talk

to her and she's like oh wow and she

feels interested right away whereas

someone like myself the woman isn't

Amazed by my physical appearance at the

start but because I know how to display

traits like confidence charm masculinity

and Charisma in a way that attracts

women as well as use the kind of humor

that attracts women it causes women to

feel multiple Sparks of Attraction for

me during an interaction the really cool

thing is that when you make a woman feel

attracted to you by displaying traits

like confidence charm Charisma and so on

she then actually looks at you as being

more physically attractive than she

initially judged because she's now

looking at you through the lens of

attraction of course I didn't always

know that the thing is I used to think

that I was cursed with women because I

didn't look like a good looking guy or a

handsome man no attractive women

approached me and when I tried to talk

to attractive women I'd get rejected

ignored or friend zoned that really hurt

but it turned out to be a blessing in

disguise because it forced me to do

something that most handsome men will

never do and that is actively approach

women every weekend until I figured out

what to say and do to make women feel

attracted to me once I figured that out

I then enjoyed a smorgasbord of

beautiful pretty and cute women on a

side note though the women I picked up

had sex and had relationships with over

the years would have most likely

preferred to be approached by a tall

handsome man right I'm only five nine in

terms of height but the tall handsome

men rarely if ever approach so I got the

girl instead so the solution for all men

regardless of looks isn't to wait around

hoping to be pursued by women that you

want instead you need to know what to

say and do to attract a woman during an

interaction and then give yourself the

opportunity to do that then as long as

you know what you're doing with that

sort of opportunity right you know how

to move things from one step to the next

you get results with most of the women

that you approach you get phone numbers

you get kisses sex on the first night or

you get the phone number and set up a

date and then have sex with her and

start a relationship handsome guys can

do that average looking guys can do it

below average looking guys and even guys

that others may say look ugly can do it

right it's not possible for an ugly guy

to pick up every woman in the world but

if an ugly guy or a guy that people say

is ugly gives himself a chance and he's

confident he will get more results than

a handsome guy who doesn't even approach

women right because he's actually giving

himself a chance he's putting himself in

front of the beautiful woman or the

attractive woman the pretty woman he is

being confident he's being Charming he's

making her laugh and he's moving things

forward is giving himself a chance now a

couple of important things to point out

here is that you may have heard the

phrase attraction to looks Fades over

time right you might have heard that

before but that's actually a beginner

level understanding of what the reality

is regarding attraction and looks in a

relationship I'll explain that in a

second now the other point is that when

I talk about this sort of stuff there's

always some guy that comes along and

says well hang on what if she gets with

a guy that's below average looking and

then she eventually realizes that he's

not good looking enough and then she

leaves him and gets for the good looking

guy right and then he's stuffed right so

I'll talk about those two things now now

attraction to looks Fades over time in a

relationship yes if the couple aren't in

love when a couple remains in love they

look at each other with what I call love

goggles it's similar to beer goggles

when you've been drinking a lot and an

unattractive woman suddenly looks more

attractive appealing in terms of a

relationship when you create a

relationship Dynamic where both you and

her remain in love and have love goggles

on you literally continue looking at

each other as attractive even after

decades have gone by yet if a couple

falls out of love then they stop looking

at each other with love in their eyes

right and they start to look at the

flaws and they start saying well I don't

like the way that uh you know she's got

that scar on her face I don't like the

shape of her nose now why didn't I ever

notice that I don't like this part of

her body or whatever and the guy starts

to notice that or she starts to notice

things about him and doesn't like it

anymore that's because they're not in

love with each other and that then

answers the second point I was making

there where guys say hang on but you

know yeah you attract her initially but

then you know she realizes that you're

not good looking and you know she leaves

you and cheats on you with a better guy

and then you're screwed

yes that will happen if you're not able

to maintain the relationship properly if

you're not able to create a dynamic

where the love respect and attraction

grows between you and her and she falls

out of love with you and then loses

attraction for you but if you're able to

create and maintain a dynamic where you

and her in love she will continue to

look at you as the one for her right she

won't want any other guy she may look at

another man and think yep he's handsome

but she is not going to want to leave

and lose the love and the amazing

feelings that she has for you and the

amazing experience that you have

together as a couple based on the

dynamic that you have just to go be with

a handsome man it just doesn't work like

that of course there are minute

exceptions here where a woman can be

sane and then go insane she can become a

crazy woman and then she leaves you or

you don't manage the relationship

correctly and she starts hanging out

with the wrong crowd and you don't know

how to handle that and then she ends up

cheating and so forth that's sort of

stuff can happen if you don't handle the

relationship properly but if you create

a dynamic between you and your woman

where the respect attraction and love

grows over time then both of you don't

want to be with anyone else I can tell

you 10 years into a relationship I see

other women and I can look and say yeah

she's pretty she's attractive but I

would not want to be with her instead of

my wife no way would I want that the

amount of levels that her and I have

gone through in the relationship where

the respect attraction and love has

become even deeper is something that you

know another woman might not even be

capable of because of her level of

intelligence or she may just not be the

right sort of uh match emotionally or

whatever she might have a nice butt or

she might have a nice rack or whatever

but you know I've already got that why

would I want to get that with another

woman and then start all over again

right you just get to a point where it

doesn't make sense to to leave and be

with someone else right and the woman

feels that too right she realizes that

the chance of her finding a man who's

able to make her feel the way that you

do is basically one in a million so it's

not worth the risk and as a result she

doesn't leave you she doesn't suddenly

say hang on a second

you're not as good looking as a guy I

could have got

I'm in love with you I respect you I

feel attracted to you we have a great

relationship but

his face looks better I'm going to get

with him it just doesn't work like that

now before I make a final point in this

video for you to help you I just want to

point out that if you want to learn my

best techniques for effortlessly

attracting and picking up women in

person then I recommend that you read my

ebook to flow or listen to the audiobook

version the flow is the easiest way to

get laid or get a girlfriend you

instantly create a spark when you start

talking to a woman and she then feels

more and more Sparks for you it builds

and she wants something to happen and

you just guide her through what I call

the flow and everything flows from one

step to the next if you want to learn

how to keep a relationship in love and

together for life then watch or listen

to make her love you for life I recorded

that program five years into the

relationship with my wife and I still

use the same approach it is what works

when you use the make her love you for

life approach the relationship just gets

better and better over time you do not

want to be with anyone else so one final

point that I want to make make for you

in this video whether you are handsome

average looking below average looking or

ugly which is approximately three

percent of the guys who watch my videos

is that if you want to be truly happy

with your results with women then it's

best to be the selector rather than

waiting to be selected by women some

guys get lucky when a woman pursues them

and she's the right woman for them right

she's pretty they get along they fall in

love and it's just like yes you know

this girl pursued me and it was easy and

now we're together and the relationship

is great some guys get lucky like that

but most guys who wait to be selected

are not selected by women that they

really want to be with if you want to be

truly happy with your results with women

you have to have the confidence and

know-how to be able to walk over and

select a woman start an interaction with

her make her feel attracted and make

something happen with her when you do

that you are in control you get to

decide which girl gets to be your

girlfriend you don't just have to take

whatever you can get you are the

selector