Coaching Skills: Creating Rapport with Clients

Summary

This session delves into the art of building rapport with clients, a crucial skill for fostering trust and enhancing professional relationships. It defines rapport as a mutual sense of connection and understanding, often created unconsciously. The speaker outlines various types of rapport, including circumstantial, topic-related, relationship, verbal, and postural gestural rapport. They then introduce eight fundamentals for consciously creating rapport, such as prioritizing it, asking open questions, showing genuine interest, and matching body language. The goal is to help professionals connect more effectively with clients, leading to better outcomes and stronger, long-term relationships.

Takeaways

• 😀 Rapport is a sense of connection and trust that arises when people share values or priorities.
• 🔗 Rapport is usually created unconsciously but can be consciously utilized to build stronger client relationships.
• 🗣️ There are different types of rapport, including circumstantial, topic-related, relationship, verbal, and postural/gestural rapport.
• 🤝 Building rapport involves being genuinely interested in clients, asking open-ended questions, and actively listening.
• 📝 Taking notes during conversations helps remember important details about clients, which can be used to build rapport.
• 👀 Paying attention to commonalities between you and the client can create a sense of shared understanding and connection.
• 🏃‍♂️ Being on the same 'step' as the client, whether it's focusing on details or big-picture thinking, helps in rapport building.
• 💬 Matching the client's language, including adjectives and modalities, can create verbal rapport and make them feel understood.
• 🧍‍♂️ Mirroring body language, such as posture and gestures, can create postural rapport and make the client feel more comfortable.
• 👍 Offering positive feedback and acknowledging what the client is doing well can foster trust and strengthen the relationship.

Q & A

What is the definition of Rapport according to the transcript?

Rapport is described as a sense of connection that occurs when you meet someone you like and trust, whose point of view you understand. It's also defined as a friendly and harmonious relationship where people or groups understand each other's feelings or ideas and communicate well.

Why is creating Rapport with clients important?

Creating Rapport with clients is important because it helps them feel known, trusted, and safe around you, which encourages them to open up more. This openness allows for better assistance in their journey and can lead to long-term relationships and referrals.

What are the different types of Rapport mentioned in the transcript?

The transcript mentions four types of Rapport: circumstantial or topic-related Rapport, relationship Rapport, verbal Rapport, and postural and gestural Rapport.

Can you give an example of circumstantial Rapport from the transcript?

An example of circumstantial Rapport given in the transcript is when two people both have young families or aging parents, creating a shared experience that facilitates connection.

How is relationship Rapport defined in the transcript?

Relationship Rapport is about truly knowing and understanding your client to create a meaningful connection. It involves showing interest in what's important to them, like their hobbies or family, and demonstrating that you care about their business and them as a person.

What is verbal Rapport and how can it be achieved?

Verbal Rapport is created by using similar language to your client, which doesn't mean repeating their words exactly but adapting your speech to match their style and the language they use. This can include using the same type of descriptive words or adopting a similar tone.

How does postural and gestural Rapport work?

Postural and gestural Rapport involves matching the body language and gestures of your client to create a sense of understanding and similarity. This can mean adopting a similar posture, using hand gestures in a way that mirrors the client, or adjusting your own movements to align with theirs.

What are the eight fundamentals of building Rapport as outlined in the transcript?

The eight fundamentals of building Rapport are: 1) Make Rapport building a priority, 2) Ask lots of open questions, 3) Be interested and show you're listening, 4) Pay attention to what you have in common, 5) Be on the same step with your client, 6) Listen to their language and use similar descriptives, 7) Match and mirror body language, and 8) Offer positive feedback on what's going well.

Why is it beneficial to ask open questions when building Rapport?

Asking open questions invites more than a yes or no answer, which helps you get to know your client better and provides more opportunities for connection. It also shows that you are genuinely interested in their responses and willing to engage in a deeper conversation.

How can taking notes help in building Rapport?

Taking notes during conversations helps you remember important details about your client's personal life or business, which you can refer back to in future interactions. This demonstrates that you were listening and value what they shared, thus enhancing Rapport.

What is the significance of being on the same step with your client?

Being on the same step with your client means recognizing and respecting their current focus, whether it's on details or the big picture. This aligns you with their thought process and helps them feel understood and valued, which is crucial for building Rapport.

Outlines

00:00

🤝 Introduction to Rapport Building

The speaker begins by introducing the topic of rapport, emphasizing its importance in client relationships. Rapport is defined as a sense of connection and trust that arises from shared values or priorities. It is usually formed unconsciously but can be consciously developed to enhance client trust and openness. The session aims to explore types of rapport and provide eight fundamentals for building it consciously. The speaker invites participants to reflect on any rapport-building skills they might already use and encourages them to learn new techniques to enhance their client interactions.

05:03

🗣️ Types of Rapport and Verbal Communication

This section delves into different types of rapport, including circumstantial or topic-related rapport, which is based on shared life circumstances or interests, and relationship rapport, which involves understanding and caring about the client's personal interests. The speaker also discusses verbal rapport, which is about using similar language and communication styles to the client's. This could involve matching the client's use of visual, auditory, or kinesthetic language and adjusting one's speech pace and style to match the client's for better connection and understanding.

10:04

💡 Fundamentals of Rapport Building

The speaker outlines eight fundamentals for building rapport. These include making rapport building a priority, asking open-ended questions, showing genuine interest in the client, paying attention to commonalities, being on the same 'step' as the client in terms of focus on details or big picture, using similar language and descriptives, and matching and mirroring body language. The fundamentals aim to help professionals create a stronger connection with clients, leading to more effective communication and better outcomes in professional relationships.

15:04

🔄 Adjusting Communication to Build Rapport

This part of the script focuses on the importance of adjusting one's communication style to match the client's preferences for details or big-picture discussions. It suggests joining the client in their preferred discussion level and then guiding the conversation to the necessary level of detail or broader vision as needed. The speaker emphasizes the importance of listening to the client's language use and mirroring it to establish rapport. The section also touches on the value of positive feedback, highlighting clients' achievements and efforts to foster a sense of being seen and understood.

20:06

🌟 Conclusion and Invitation to Practice

In the concluding remarks, the speaker summarizes the key points of the session and encourages listeners to apply the rapport-building techniques discussed. The emphasis is on the natural and authentic use of these techniques to enhance client relationships and interactions. The speaker expresses hope that the session's content has been helpful and invites participants to integrate these learnings into their professional practice.

Keywords

💡Rapport

Rapport refers to a harmonious relationship characterized by mutual understanding and effective communication. In the context of the video, rapport is the foundation for building trust and connection with clients. It is the 'click' or sense of connection that occurs when people feel understood and valued. The video emphasizes the importance of rapport in client relationships, as it can lead to more open communication, deeper trust, and ultimately, better outcomes for both the client and the professional.

💡Connection

Connection, as used in the video, is the feeling of being linked or associated with someone else on an emotional or intellectual level. It is a key component of rapport and is often established when shared values, interests, or experiences are discovered. The video suggests that creating a sense of connection can be facilitated by being aware of and responsive to the client's feelings, ideas, and communication style.

💡Unconscious

Unconscious in the video script refers to the automatic, reflexive behaviors or responses that occur without deliberate thought. Rapport is often created unconsciously, meaning that people naturally feel a sense of connection or understanding without actively trying to do so. The video aims to make these unconscious processes more conscious, so professionals can intentionally build rapport with their clients.

💡Circumstantial Rapport

Circumstantial Rapport is a type of connection that arises due to shared circumstances or life situations. The video provides examples such as having young families or aging parents. This form of rapport is based on external factors that both parties can relate to, which can serve as a starting point for building a deeper connection.

💡Topic-Related Rapport

Topic-Related Rapport is established through shared interests or topics of discussion. The video script mentions shared interests in television shows or sports teams as examples. This rapport is created when individuals find common ground in their hobbies or preferences, which can lead to more engaging and enjoyable conversations.

💡Relationship Rapport

Relationship Rapport is a deeper form of connection that is built on genuinely knowing and understanding the client. It involves showing interest in the client's personal life, values, and priorities beyond the professional context. The video suggests that by paying attention to what matters to the client, a professional can create a meaningful connection that fosters trust and openness.

💡Verbal Rapport

Verbal Rapport is created through the use of similar language and communication styles. The video explains that this doesn't mean echoing the client's words exactly but rather adopting a similar tone, vocabulary, and style of speaking. This can make the client feel heard and understood, as if the professional is 'speaking their language.'

💡Postural and Gestural Rapport

Postural and Gestural Rapport involves matching or mirroring a client's body language and gestures. The video describes how adjusting one's own body language to be more in line with the client's can create a sense of similarity and understanding. For instance, if a client is expressive with their hands, mirroring this expressiveness can help establish rapport.

💡Open Questions

Open Questions are inquiries that cannot be answered with a simple 'yes' or 'no' and invite more detailed responses. The video encourages the use of open questions to facilitate deeper conversations and to show genuine interest in the client's experiences and perspectives. This approach helps in gathering more information to build rapport and understand the client better.

💡Positive Feedback

Positive Feedback in the video is about acknowledging and appreciating the client's efforts, progress, or achievements. It serves to reinforce a positive relationship and encourages the client by highlighting what is going well. The video suggests that focusing on positive aspects can enhance rapport by making the client feel valued and understood, which is crucial for a strong professional relationship.

Highlights

Rapport is a sense of connection that forms when you meet someone you like and trust.

Rapport is often created unconsciously and is a feeling of 'click' with someone.

Circumstantial Rapport is based on shared circumstances or topics.

Relationship Rapport involves truly knowing and understanding your client.

Verbal Rapport is created through the use of similar language to your client.

Postural and gestural Rapport involves matching a client's body language.

Making Rapport building a priority leads to better results and client relationships.

Asking open questions invites more than a yes or no answer, fostering Rapport.

Being genuinely interested in your client and taking notes on details helps build Rapport.

Noting and highlighting commonalities with your client strengthens Rapport.

Being on the same step as your client in terms of focus on details or big picture.

Matching and mirroring your client's body language can create a sense of understanding.

Offering positive feedback on what's going well helps clients feel seen and heard.

Rapport building is not about being a clone of your client but finding common ground.

Fundamentals of building Rapport include making it a priority and being genuinely interested.

Using similar language and body language to your client can help establish Rapport.

Rapport is about being naturally you and creating beautiful client relationships.

Transcripts

hello in this session we're going to be

talking about Rapport and specifically

how to create rapport with your clients

so first things first let's talk about

what is Rapport so in looking at your

standard definitions we come up with

things like

um

Rapport is a sense of connection that

you get when you meet someone that you

like and Trust whose point of view you

understand reports the bond that forms

when you discover that you share one

another's values or priorities

um another definition is

um that Rapport is a friendly and

harmonious relationship in which people

or groups understand each other's

feelings or ideas and communicate well

so you can get the overall sense from

those definitions but in reality Rapport

is really a feeling and most people have

had that experience of just that click

that you get with someone that feeling

of I like them I trust them have that

feeling that I know them and Rapport is

usually created unconsciously what we're

going to be talking about in this

session is how you can utilize the ways

that we feel Rapport unconsciously but

bring it into

part of your conscious way of helping

clients feel like you know them that

they can trust you they can feel safe

around you and and open up because the

reality is the more someone shares with

you the more you can help them along

their Journey with being a prophet first

um receiver of profit first professional

wisdom

so what I wanted to do in this session

is a couple of things the first is to

break down

types of Rapport and then I'm going to

run through with you eight fundamentals

in building Rapport consciously

before we get started I want to ask you

one question

and that is do you have any Rapport

building skills or tools that you

already

consciously intentionally use with your

clients

often the answer to this is no and then

sometimes when we go through what will

be

um learning in today's session you might

find that you actually do do some of

these things because as I said a lot of

it's unconscious

so do you have anything that you use

already

um and if the answer is yes break tune

into this session and see if there's

anything that you'd like to add you know

change or tweak and if you don't then I

hope this session gives you some ideas

of how to begin to just have more of

that click with more of your clients

which means that you can help more and

it will also help you in the discovery

call

um potentially the discovery call

process and how you build you know

long-term relationships with clients

over time if that's what you want to do

so let's break down the types of the

types of rapport

firstly there's what I call

circumstantial or topic related Rapport

so this is circumstantial maybe you've

both got young families you've both got

aging parents you've both got

um parents that live in overseas or

something like that so this particular

circumstances that you share or topic

related Rapport so we see this I live in

Melbourne

um Australia so it's a quite a lot of

people are into football so you see

Rapport created between people that are

into football and aren't and then

there's an even deeper kind of

connection that can happen with

following particular teams

um we also see topic related rapport

with television shows so there's quite

television shows that create this um

this following and you see it on social

media people talking about this the

episodes and there's assumed knowledge

because everyone's watching it

um as it comes out so that's just a

couple of

um a couple of ideas for you so

circumstantial or topic related rapport

the second type of Rapport

um in this breakdown is relationship

reports this is about really knowing and

understanding your client and creating a

connection that's meaningful so you

um yourself might not let's let's say

your clients has horses and you yourself

don't have horses so you don't have that

circumstantial topic related Rapport but

you know that they do and they really

care about it so you always you know you

ask them about it when you when you

catch up because you know it's

meaningful to them so it's like they've

paid attention that your client feels

like you know them you know what's

important to them you care about their

business and them as a person

um and that's just one example you can

um create that kind of relationship

Rapport by you know really getting to

know your client as a person

um there is also verbal Rapport so

verbal

Rapport is created when you have the

behavioral flexibility to use similar

language to your client now this doesn't

mean that you need to power it exactly

back what they're saying to you but it's

having that you know if they're

constantly talking about what they're

seeing in their business you might also

talk about what you're seeing in their

business so you're both talking about

what you're seeing if they're talking

about how they're feeling in their

business you might

um be able to ask them questions or

offer them a solution and say how does

that feel so it's like you're just using

the same type of language as they are

doesn't have to be over the top but it's

just paying attention to the language

that people are using

and sometimes we can

use types of language like acronyms or

ways of speaking that make sense to us

in our industry and sometimes we can

forget to

make that more common language when

you're talking to someone that you know

doesn't have that shared information so

this is another way that we either

um kind of interfere with creating

Rapport because we're speaking in this

way that doesn't really make a whole lot

of sense

um or we create verbal Rapport by just

speaking in a way that's similar to you

know similar style to how your client is

is communicating and you just meet them

where they are it's kind of Rapport is

this type of Rapport is kind of like

dancing with someone if you're wondering

if someone's wanting to do a a waltz in

someone else is cha-charing well there's

no Rapport so this is what I mean in

terms of verbal Rapport I can get quite

animated and speak really fast but if

I'm speaking with someone who's slow and

methodical and considering each step my

way of creating rapport with them is

just to be willing to slow right down

and that just helps them feel like I'm

not pushing them out of where they are

and as I said this is unconscious it's

just the person leaves the session

feeling like they actually got to be

themselves so it's a wonderful thing to

explore and try out

another type of Rapport is postural and

gestural Rapport so if someone's using

their hands a lot when they speak I do

this

um

and you're sitting opposite someone

that's got their hands clasped and they

never move you might as a person that

gestures a lot just kind of slow that

down or maybe only you know just baby

hold your hands a little bit more still

or if someone if you are someone that's

quite still and someone's really

animated if you can join them just a

little bit in the important bits in a

little bit of Animation or gestures

they'll just get that unconscious sense

that you understand them you're like

them because that feeling that you get

that we all talk about in terms of you

know marketing and referrals people want

to have that experience of a liking

knowing and trusting you and this is

just little ways that you can join them

a little bit and just help them to feel

like you're on the same page as them

postural is more about you know if

they're sitting in a really open way so

they're really relaxed they're kind of

sitting back

um and you've got very closed down body

language that it will just they will

notice it unconsciously whether it's

conscious or not they'll just think oh

they're you're uptight or if they're

really closed and upright and I want to

say sensible but if they're all

um quite stiff in their body language in

your life this well they'll also feel

you know potentially like you're not as

connected if there's a little bit of

similarity

so that's that's how I wanted to just

break down the Rapport so circumstantial

and topic related relationship Rapport

verbal reports are using that similar

language and posture and you know basic

gesturing so that's kind of four

different ways that you can consciously

bring into your client conversations to

create that rapport

before we move on to some fundamentals I

just want to be really clear that you do

not have to do all of this because I

think it would be it would it would make

you not focused on the content of your

conversation if you're trying to do all

of it

but the reason that I'm giving you lots

of options and running through the

fundamentals is to help you when you

first meet a client you might just hear

one of that one of those breakdowns of

Rapport and think okay I can do that and

I can bring a little bit of

Consciousness to that one type of

Rapport into my sessions and you know

just watch what happens in terms of when

you're meeting with people

the other way this is useful is if

you're in a conversation with a client

and the conversation seems to have

derailed so it's like all of a sudden

you're just really aware they're in a

different place to you and they're

they're kind of wanting to back away or

that you can tell they're not feeling

understood

being aware of these types of Rapport

are a way to just get the conversation

back from derailed and you know back to

you and then you understanding them them

understanding you

so let's move on to some fundamentals of

building Rapport I've just got eight

steps here just to give you

um some ideas and like I said you don't

have to be doing all of it these are

just about having some things in your

tool box that you can pull out when

you're wanting to have a conversation

um go well or if things have derailed so

I have a sip of water

okay number one

my invitation to you is to make Rapport

building a priority so like I said this

experience of people liking you knowing

you and trusting you is

a fundamental way of getting the best

results for them and also creating

referrals and creating that relationship

that allows people to you know open up

and the more they open up the more you

can achieve together so if you can just

make Rapport building just in there in

your Consciousness as something that you

do that's going to help you along the

way on your journey of being a profit

first professional and whatever else you

do in your business as well

number two ask lots of open questions

that invite more than a yes or no answer

so that's what an open question is this

helps you get to know your client and it

gives you more to connect with even what

did you get up to on the weekend it's an

open question can't answer yes or no to

it and have it be it would have it be a

reasonable answer to a question like

that and it just helps you to get to

know them so a lot of people do this

consciously but are you paying attention

to the information that you actually get

back from your open questions

which leads me into number three which

is be interested

so listening to your clients and really

showing that you're listening so some

people will ask to borrow that you know

how was your weekend question but they

they're kind of hearing and setting up

for the meeting or something like that

are they really listening so I take

notes when I work with work with clients

being a coach but I take note of the

details of the things that really matter

so be interested show that you're

listening and also take notes if you're

a note taker or if you've got an

excellent memory file in a way of the

details that seem to really matter

so you might be working with a client in

their you know youngest child or their

grandchild is about to start school when

you catch up with them next month or

next order you can ask them about it and

it's going to make them feel special and

like you were really listening when they

spoke about their life outside of their

business so know some details about

their life and you can refer back to

this

um and people will give you in general

conversation they might say oh my

partner's about to turn 50 or

um you know my parents are going to

France or whatever it is these are

details that people are telling you and

you can utilize them to create this

rapport

uh number four pay attention to what you

have in common

and make note of this

so it might be like I was saying before

it might be a football team it might be

you you both love the the same time of

year the best some people love summer

some people love spring some people love

winter you know what I mean just pay

attention to what you have in common and

just make this something that you take

note of and this is going to give your

client this we're on the same page

feeling you don't need to be a clone of

them but you can just have this one

thing that you both love speaking about

or that you check in with each other

about and that's going to create rapport

number five and this may take some

pattern breaking or or not but it takes

some Consciousness so number five is be

on the same step with your client

so have you ever been in a conversation

with someone where they're wanting to

move on to talking about this part of

whatever you're talking about and you're

you're back here you're still here it's

like oh I need to know this before we

can

get to that part so some of us are very

we need a lot of understanding of the

detail before we can step into bigger

picture type things

some people are so much more interested

and happy and enjoy being in the big

picture conversations

and they're not really a huge fan of the

details so that's just one example we

can also map this this way so it's let's

imagine we're talking about profit first

implementation and the person's on like

how many bank accounts and you're going

this will change your life in

two years time or something like that

and you want to talk about the results

over here and they're like yeah but but

I need to I need to know this before I

can join you here

so just paying attention to your client

and where they are will help you to be

on the same step as them and this will

also help the person not feel like

they've walked into your office or

they've walked into the zoo they've

opened up the zoom meeting and they're

on a conveyor belt but they've got no

choice on because I'm sure you've I've

had that in the sales

type environment where it's all of a

sudden I've had a conversation and I

just can feel they're like

this step this step this step this step

and I might still be here wanting to you

know understand this part and it's not

it doesn't make you feel valued as a as

a person

and it can give you that sense of I'm

just a number rather than

you know I really matter so be on the

same step with them now if coming back

to this idea of details and big picture

if someone's a big picture thinker join

them in the big picture

and then say

I've just need to pop into the details

for a moment because we're going to need

to do this and this in order to achieve

that

kind of thing so it's like you're

joining them where you are where they

are creating Rapport popping into the

details because they matter in order to

create results or you can do it the

other way the person's in the specifics

and you can join them in the step that

they're in you can join them where they

are and you can say

I'm hearing the details with you and

we'll definitely be doing this and this

and this and this I just want to for a

moment talk to you about a few things

that are possible when we get this right

and then you can offer the big picture

so it's just join people where where

they are and this is the same with this

kind of movement so it's like just talk

to them here and I just want to let you

know when we get this right we can

create this so join them where they are

so you can move on with them

number six listen to their language and

use similar descriptives or similar

modalities so this is that language

matching that I was talking about the

verbal Rapport using similar language

you can do this with

um descriptors like

if they're talking about seeing you can

join them in seeing it they're talking

about

um you know what things feel like you

can do it like that you can also just

use similar adjectives like I use the

words amazing and fabulous a lot that's

just part of my nature so if someone was

creating rapport with me they'd be able

to go isn't that fabulous and I'd be

like oh they're so my kind of person so

you can use some similar words again

you're not becoming a robot because that

would just be weird but just pick up a

couple of words they use and use it back

and you'll have that sense of we're on

the same page they understand me

number seven is matching and mirroring

body language so this is what we were

talking about before in terms of

postural and gestural support just

picking some Basics if that's what sits

with you you do not have to do all of

these these are just ideas

now number eight which is a step that

maybe you're already doing or maybe you

want to add into the mix number eight in

the fundamentals of building Rapport is

offer positive feedback on what you're

noticing and what's going well

so it's very easy when we're solving

problems to be focused on the the

problem and focused on solving you know

focus on okay that's done now next

problem next problem next problem

especially initially when we're working

with people

but I'm really know how good it feels

when someone is able to say to you

basically I see what you're doing I see

how much effort you've put in you've

created that isn't that wonderful or be

me isn't that fabulous or isn't that

like it's amazing what you've done in

such a short amount of time or it's

really admirable how much effort you're

putting in it's you're basically saying

I see you

so if you notice people doing things

well even if there's a whole lot of

things they haven't done if they've

opened that one bank account or they've

done that one thing offering positive

feedback about what's going well helps

people feel seeing heard and understood

which leads to them liking knowing and

trusting you but it's just so much more

fun to hear

you know positive feedback on what's

going well rather than problem problem

so they're my eight fundamentals in

building Rapport I hope some of that is

really useful and some of it you can add

into the way that you speak with clients

so that it feels natural and Rapport is

all about being naturally you

in your own way and creating clients

relationships that feel really beautiful

to show up for so thank you for

listening I hope that's been helpful