How to talk to your boss | Peter Matthews | TEDxUWA

Summary

Peter Matthews, a young entrepreneur, shares valuable lessons on building relationships in the workplace, particularly for young professionals navigating age divides. He outlines five key rules for success: the importance of small talk to build rapport, embracing silence in conversations, offering valuable advice beyond assigned tasks, taking feedback positively, and demonstrating approachability through timely responses. With a mix of personal anecdotes and practical advice, Matthews offers strategies for improving communication, showing expertise, and fostering trust in both client and workplace relationships. His insights aim to help young professionals build stronger, more effective professional relationships.

Takeaways

• 😀 Overenthusiasm can be a barrier in workplace relationships, so it's important to find a balance between enthusiasm and professionalism.
• 😀 Effective communication of expertise is crucial in the workplace, but it should be done beyond specific tasks to enhance overall value.
• 😀 Age differences can create challenges in workplace relationships, making it important to bridge the gap with relatable and respectful communication.
• 😀 Small talk plays a vital role in building relationships before diving into business discussions, helping both parties feel more comfortable.
• 😀 Silence should not be feared; sometimes it's best to embrace it in conversations and allow the other person to speak before you respond.
• 😀 Young professionals should aim to advise clients or bosses beyond just completing tasks, showcasing broader expertise and creating opportunities for future work.
• 😀 Positive feedback should be embraced with grace. Rather than contradicting feedback, acknowledge it and use it as an opportunity for improvement.
• 😀 Quick, thoughtful responses to emails, especially when in a group context, demonstrate approachability and engagement without overcomplicating the situation.
• 😀 Summarizing key takeaways from meetings or discussions and sharing them reinforces that the other party feels heard and valued.
• 😀 Using positive language in communications, such as taking responsibility for mistakes or addressing issues constructively, builds trust and relatability.

Q & A

What are the three main mistakes young people make in workplace relationships according to Peter Matthews?

The three main mistakes are: over-enthusiasm, poor communication of expertise outside specific tasks, and being unrelatable due to generational differences.

Why is over-enthusiasm considered a mistake in workplace relationships?

Over-enthusiasm can come across as too loud, fast, or intense, which can make interactions uncomfortable, especially with older colleagues or clients.

How does small talk help in business meetings or client relationships?

Small talk helps to build rapport, relax both parties, and find common ground before diving into business discussions. It allows for a smoother and more relatable conversation.

What lesson did Peter Matthews learn from his coffee meeting with Neil?

Peter learned that it's crucial to slow down, build relationships first, and not rush into business discussions. He was too eager, and the lack of small talk affected the interaction.

Why is silence in conversations important, and how should it be handled?

Silence can be powerful. If you're comfortable with silence, it shows confidence in your value and gives the other person space to reflect. It's important to manage silence without filling it with unnecessary words.

What is the significance of advising clients or bosses, not just working hard?

Advising clients or bosses on related issues beyond the assigned task demonstrates expertise, builds stronger relationships, and may lead to more work opportunities or recognition.

What was Peter’s strategy when working with Hockey Western Australia, and why did it work?

Peter identified additional issues that Hockey WA was facing and offered suggestions. By going beyond the assigned task, he demonstrated expertise, which could lead to more opportunities, even if the suggestions weren’t accepted.

How should feedback be handled in a professional setting according to Peter Matthews?

Feedback should be taken positively. Instead of defending your work, acknowledge the feedback, demonstrate a willingness to improve, and offer to follow up on the issues raised.

What does Peter Matthews mean by the 'three P's' of replying to emails?

The three P's refer to: replying first (showing engagement), replying fast (demonstrating efficiency), and replying last (ending the conversation politely to leave a positive impression).

Why is positive language important when ascribing responsibility or blame?

Using positive language fosters accountability without accusing others. By taking responsibility for your actions openly and passively describing others' mistakes, you maintain good relationships and avoid conflict.

What is the significance of summarizing meetings in a professional context?

Summarizing meetings helps ensure that all parties are on the same page regarding key takeaways, avoids misunderstandings, and shows that the client or boss’s input was valued.

How does Peter suggest handling difficult or controversial ideas in meetings?

Peter suggests contacting attendees personally beforehand to give them a heads-up about controversial ideas. This prepares them and reduces surprises during the meeting, improving the chances of acceptance.