Stand Up Ali : Kenapa Orang Pacaran Pamer di Instagram? Saya yang Jomblo, Iri!
Summary
TLDRAli Akbar from Ternate, Maluku Utara, humorously discusses the impact of social media, particularly Instagram, on relationships and marriage. He touches on the pressure of public displays of affection, the challenges of long-distance relationships, and the absurdity of seeking life advice from social media platforms. Ali also pokes fun at the unrealistic expectations set by Instagram, including his own humorous prediction of marriage, and reflects on the innocence of childhood in the digital age.
Takeaways
- π The speaker, Ali Akbar, introduces himself and expresses his desire for his university to open a branch in Ternate.
- π Ali humorously discusses the attractiveness of his alma mater's students, with a playful apology for focusing too much on one person's eyes.
- π€ Ali questions the seriousness of relationships, humorously advising against dating and citing it as 'haram' (forbidden).
- π³ He recalls a past relationship with a girl who was dating a minibus driver, highlighting the peculiarity of such a relationship.
- π Ali jokes about the unrealistic expectations of marriage based on social media, particularly Instagram, and the pressure it puts on relationships.
- π He humorously describes the challenges of a long-distance relationship (LDR), comparing it to the frustrations of traveling long distances to meet.
- π Ali pokes fun at the behavior of people who show off their relationships on Instagram, suggesting it makes single people envious.
- π² He expresses surprise at the young age at which some people are getting married, questioning the maturity and stability of such unions.
- π Ali humorously reflects on the advanced technology available to young children, including playing games like PUBG at a very young age.
- π He ends with a playful declaration of love for a woman with red hair, and a light-hearted mention of eating carrots and papayas.
Q & A
Who is the speaker in the script?
-The speaker is Ali Akbar, a student from Ternate, Maluku Utara.
What does Ali Akbar wish for his alma mater?
-Ali Akbar wishes for his alma mater, Undira, to open a branch in Ternate.
What does Ali Akbar think about dating during high school?
-Ali Akbar recalls his high school days and mentions that dating a bus driver was a topic of curiosity among his friends.
What is Ali Akbar's view on marriage?
-Ali Akbar believes that marriage is a matter of destiny and should not be rushed or determined by social media like Instagram.
Why does Ali Akbar find the behavior of some people on Instagram strange?
-Ali Akbar finds it strange how some people on Instagram ask for opinions on serious matters like marriage or relationships.
What is Ali Akbar's opinion on long-distance relationships?
-Ali Akbar shares his personal experience of having a long-distance relationship, which he finds difficult due to the physical distance and the effort required to meet.
What does Ali Akbar say about the current generation's access to technology?
-Ali Akbar remarks that the current generation has access to technology like smartphones at a very young age, even during elementary school.
What is Ali Akbar's perspective on the use of social media for relationship displays?
-Ali Akbar expresses envy towards couples who show their affection on Instagram and acknowledges the impact of social media on relationship dynamics.
What does Ali Akbar suggest as an alternative to social media for relationship advice?
-Ali Akbar suggests that instead of asking Instagram for relationship advice, people should consult their parents or other knowledgeable individuals.
What is Ali Akbar's humorous take on the use of technology by children?
-Ali Akbar humorously describes how children in elementary school are already playing games like PUBG on their smartphones, which he finds amusing and indicative of the times.
Outlines
π Introduction and Social Commentary
Ali Akbar, a student from Ternate, Maluku Utara, introduces himself and humorously expresses his desire for his university to open a branch in his hometown. He playfully engages with the audience, discussing the topic of dating and marriage, and humorously warns against dating, citing it as 'haram' or forbidden. Ali shares a personal anecdote about a high school friend who dated a minibus driver, poking fun at the idea of dating in a vehicle. He also talks about his upcoming marriage, expressing his belief in the divine nature of marriage rather than relying on social media for such life decisions. The paragraph concludes with Ali humorously reflecting on the absurdity of people seeking life advice from Instagram, including his own playful interaction with the audience.
π Long-Distance Relationships and Childhood Nostalgia
In this paragraph, Ali Akbar delves into the challenges of long-distance relationships (LDR), contrasting them with the convenience of dating within the same city. He humorously describes his own experience with LDR, where meeting his partner required traveling by train, and the comical exchanges that would occur during such trips. Ali also reflects on the changes in technology and childhood, noting how children today have access to smartphones and games at a very young age, which was not the case during his own childhood. He humorously recounts playing simple games on early mobile phones and contrasts it with the advanced games that children play today. The paragraph ends with Ali expressing his love for his audience and a light-hearted moment where he playfully interacts with a comment about his red hair.
Mindmap
Keywords
π‘Assalamualaikum
π‘Ternate
π‘Instagram
π‘Pacaran
π‘Haram
π‘LDR
π‘Pernikahan
π‘Jomblo
π‘Pepaya
π‘SD
π‘Tepuk tangan
Highlights
Introduction of Ali Akbar from Ternate, Maluku Utara, studying at Undira.
Ali expresses his wish for Undira to open a branch in Ternate.
Ali humorously comments on the attractiveness of his alma mater's students, comparing them to characters in movies.
Ali playfully apologizes for staring at someone's eyes, indicating his focus on them.
Discussion on dating and its prohibition in Islam, with Ali advising against it.
Ali recalls a humorous anecdote about a high school friend who dated a minibus driver.
Ali announces his upcoming marriage next month and asks for prayers.
Ali criticizes the reliance on social media for serious matters like marriage.
Ali humorously describes the absurdity of a couple getting married after only seven months of knowing each other.
Ali reflects on the behavior of people showing off their relationships on Instagram.
Ali expresses his envy towards couples who can meet frequently due to living in the same city.
Ali shares his experience of a long-distance relationship and the difficulties of meeting.
Ali humorously describes the challenges of long-distance communication with his partner.
Ali comments on the current generation's access to technology at a young age, such as smartphones.
Ali humorously recalls his own childhood and the games he played on his first mobile phone.
Ali ends with a light-hearted comment about a girl with red hair, expressing his affection.
Transcripts
tepuk tangan yang paling meriah untuk
Assalamualaikum
ya betul teman-teman Kenalkan nama saya
Ali Akbar Saya dari Ternate Maluku Utara
dan saya kuliah di undira
pengen pengen Saya pengen makannya Saya
doakan semoga undira bisa buka cabang di
Ternate Amin
Luar biasa ini yang mbak yang ini suruh
pakai almamater ini dari wendyra Wih
cantik-cantik ada yang pirang juga ya
Wih kayak di film-film taksi
lah matanya ada 7
Oh sorry sorry cuman dua berarti mataku
saja yang terlalu tertuju pada matamu
[Tepuk tangan]
teman-teman di sini ada yang pacaran
tidak ada bagus jangan pacaran pacaran
itu haram Astagfirullah
siapa lagi saya ingat dulu waktu SMA itu
teman-teman ada teman cewek saya dia
pacaran sama siapa supir angkot
serius saya bilang supir angkot ih
satu jujur penasaran dengan pacaran
mereka tuh kayak bagaimana kalau pacaran
biasa kan kita yang apa kalian kalau
pacaran di dalam mobil berantem ceweknya
sering bilang sayang aku sudah bosan
sama kamu turunin aku di sini
ini pacaran Sumpah sama sopir angkot pas
berantem gimana Sayang aku sudah bosan
sama kamu kiri
[Tepuk tangan]
gimana gitu
tapi di sini
ada yang sudah menikah
belum teman-teman saya Minta doanya
teman-teman semua karena bulan depan
saya akan menikah
Amin ya Bulan depan saya akan menikah
kata Instagram
Kapankah saya akan menikah dengan
gampangnya dia bilang dia bilang bulan
depan
ini kalau kita percaya teman-teman kita
adalah orang yang paling
karena Ini masalahnya pernikahan loh
jodoh itu di tangan Tuhan bukan di
tangan Instagram
Iya masalahnya saya belum pernah dengar
ada kasus orang gagal nikah gara-gara
nggak ada kuota
kemarin ponakan saya masih 6 bulan saya
kasih filter itu kapan dia menikah kata
Instagram bulan depan
dia menikah di umur 7 bulan
rumah tangga apa yang dibangun oleh dua
anak bayi yang masih merangkak
Emang aneh
semakin aneh
ada lagi yang Instagram aku itu orangnya
seperti apa
ya kalian yang tahu sendiri kalian
seperti apa
aku seperti apa yang kalian yang tahu
kalau nggak tanya orang tua kalian
Kenapa ada lagi yang dia tanya Instagram
tanya ke kita Sebutkan tiga nama teman
kalian yang huruf depannya m
dan kalian Sebutkan
[Musik]
Mita Mia dan Mamat Ye kenapa senang
giliran dikasih yang huruf q kalian
pusing aduki apa ya buat apa kalian
pusing tidak dapat apa-apa loh
[Tepuk tangan]
belum lagi saya lihat kelakuan-kelakuan
orang yang pacaran di Instagram
pamer kemesraan mereka dengan pasangan
mereka di Instagram
[Musik]
ini saya kasih tahu ya buat kalian nih
Mana kamera nih buat kalian yang suka
pamer kemesraan kalian dengan pasangan
di Instagram
saya iri
Maksudnya di Instagram bukan cuman
kalian loh hargai kami orang-orang
jomblo
pasang Story Terima kasih sayang untuk
hari ini kan bisa Japri
Astagfirullah semakin aneh orang-orang
di Instagram
apalagi orang-orang yang pacaran itu
kalian Mungkin mereka yang pacaran
senang-senang karena mereka satu kota
jujur saya pernah pacaran tidak enak
karena saya LDR
tidak Enak teman-teman tidak enak sama
sekali
kalau kalian satu kota ini enak tiap
hari Bisa ketemu mau ke tempat pacar
kalian tinggal naik motor atau naik
mobil saya kepada waktu itu pacar saya
di Jakarta saya di Jogja mau ketemu
harus naik kereta
kalau kalian naik mobil kan enak ditanya
Sayang sudah sampai mana ini sudah
sampai perempatan Tanah Abang bentar ya
5 menit lagi sampai
saya naik kereta ditanya saya sudah
sampai mana Stasiun Cilacap
Bentar ya 5 Stasiun lagi
kalian
Enak makannya saya bilang saya setuju
dengan kata Dilan
rindu itu berat
biar pemerintah yang tanggung
kalian pacaran satu kota enak ketemu
tiap hari bawa cewek kalian ke kos kayak
nggak main Ludo main Ludo di dalam eh
pikiran pikiran
enak ketemu Tiap hari saya ketemu pacar
saya waktu itu tiga bulan satu kali
tapi sekali ketemu bahaya
kamu siapa sudah lupa
[Tepuk tangan]
kalian jaman sekarang ya kalian menurut
saya kalian tuh enak anak-anak zaman
sekarang tuh enak karena masih kecil
masih SD ada yang sudah dikasih HP sama
orang tua
jujur saya waktu SD dikasih HP itu yang
HP yang tahu nggak sih yang kalau kita
tekan 9 dia bunyi
masih SD sudah main game main pubg SD
sudah main
Awas ada orang di belakang rumah ya
siapa
sering gitu ngasih Mereka lagi main kita
enggak tahu tiba-tiba dia ngomong Awas
ada orang di belakang rumah siapa
masih SD sudah main pubg jujur saya dulu
SD mainan di HP saya tuh snack
tahu snack ular-ular yang kalau kita
naikin level dia lari kayak MRT
sama ini sempit impact yang pesawat yang
tembak-tembak yang jalannya cuman ke
atas ke bawah
sama Bounce Bounce
tahu kan yang
9898 98 cheatnya itu
Terima kasih untuk undira Mbak yang
rambut pirang I love you
[Tepuk tangan]
doang apaan
I love you
dia makan wortel ya mau makan wortel
biar kamu melihat perjuanganku aku juga
punya
kamu nanti pulang makan pepaya deh
kenapa kenapa biar lancar BAB
perhatian perhatian kan gombal Bang
untuk kalian yang senang sama penampilan
Ali Akbar yang membahas soal Instagram
menikah bulan depan benar sekali dan
sudah ditolak oleh wanita itu eh Maaf
kamu siapa namanya rambut bilang
Maya Maya sesuai namamu my I love you
[Musik]
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