Breaking Down Communication Barriers | Angela Graves | TEDxEvansville

Summary

This script explores the impact of hearing loss on perception and communication, using the absence of frogs on a farm as a metaphor. It discusses the importance of genuine dialogue, active listening, and clear expression in building understanding and community. The speaker emphasizes the need to overcome barriers such as self-importance and the desire to be right, advocating for compassionate and open-minded communication to foster a stronger society.

Takeaways

• 🦉 The speaker's father believes there are no frogs on his farm due to his hearing impairment, which has influenced his perception of their presence.
• 👂 Hearing loss has significantly impacted the father's ability to engage in conversations, a crucial aspect of community and communication.
• 🗣️ Communication is defined as a two-way sharing of ideas, requiring both speaking and listening effectively.
• 🔍 The speaker emphasizes the importance of asking questions to understand differing perceptions, such as the father's belief about the absence of frogs.
• 🌐 Perception is tied to awareness through the senses, and the father's lack of hearing has altered his awareness of the environment, including the presence of frogs.
• 🤝 Effective communication involves not only speaking clearly but also listening with the intent to understand, which is crucial for building relationships.
• 🚫 Barriers to communication include not just physical impairments like hearing loss, but also mental distractions like depression or low self-esteem.
• 💬 The speaker suggests using short, clear sentences and questions to ensure messages are understood and to promote genuine dialogue.
• 👥 Finding common ground, even in disagreement, can facilitate the sharing of ideas and foster better communication.
• 🌟 Genuine communication is essential for building community, which is the foundation of society, and the speaker calls for improved communication to strengthen society.
• 🌈 The speaker concludes by urging individuals to take responsibility for their communication style, advocating for compassion, honesty, and clear speech to build bridges within the community.

Q & A

What is the main theme of the video script?

The main theme of the video script is the importance of genuine communication and the barriers that can impede it, such as hearing loss and preconceived notions.

How does the speaker's father's hearing impairment affect his perception of the presence of frogs on the farm?

The speaker's father's hearing impairment affects his perception of the presence of frogs on the farm because he cannot hear the frog songs, leading him to believe that there are no frogs there.

What does the speaker suggest is the impact of hearing loss on the ability to engage in conversation?

The speaker suggests that hearing loss significantly impacts the ability to engage in conversation, as it limits the individual's capacity to listen and understand others, which is a crucial part of communication.

According to the script, what is the definition of communication according to Webster?

According to Webster, communication is defined as the sharing of ideas, emphasizing that it is a two-way street involving both speaking and listening.

What are some of the careers that communication majors are being prepared for, as mentioned in the script?

Communication majors are being prepared for careers in marketing, writing, journalism, public relations, and promotions.

Why does the speaker believe that listening is not sufficiently emphasized in the curriculum for communication majors?

The speaker believes that listening is not sufficiently emphasized because genuine communication requires not only speaking clearly but also listening with the intent to truly understand the conversation partner.

What is the speaker's suggestion for a better way to communicate with someone who believes differently, using the example of frogs on the farm?

The speaker suggests asking questions to clarify understanding and to find out the reasons behind the person's belief, rather than trying to prove them wrong directly.

What does the speaker describe as an 'invisible handicap'?

The speaker describes hearing loss as an 'invisible handicap' because it does not have visible signs like a wheelchair or a white cane but still significantly impacts an individual's ability to communicate.

What are some of the strategies the speaker recommends for effective communication?

The speaker recommends using short, clear sentences and questions, being honest, and speaking distinctly to ensure the message is understood by everyone, including those with hearing impairments.

How does the speaker connect the concept of community building with the ability to share ideas?

The speaker connects community building with the ability to share ideas by stating that relationships are built on the capacity to exchange thoughts and learn from one another, which in turn forms the foundation of society.

What does the speaker suggest as the first step towards better communication and community building?

The speaker suggests that the first step towards better communication and community building is for each individual to decide how they will speak, listen, and respond, emphasizing the need for compassion, understanding, and compromise.

Outlines

00:00

👂 The Impact of Hearing Loss on Perception and Communication

The first paragraph discusses the profound effect of hearing loss on an individual's perception and the subsequent impact on their ability to communicate effectively. It uses the metaphor of the speaker's father not being able to hear frogs on his farm, which symbolizes his lack of awareness of things he cannot hear. The paragraph highlights the importance of listening as a crucial part of communication, emphasizing that without the ability to hear, one's perception of the world is limited. It also touches on the invisible nature of hearing loss as a disability and how it affects social interactions and the sharing of ideas.

05:03

🗣️ Enhancing Communication Through Active Listening and Empathy

The second paragraph delves into strategies for improving communication, particularly in the context of dealing with hearing impairments or other barriers like depression and low self-esteem. It suggests face-to-face interaction, the use of clear and concise language, and the importance of asking questions to ensure understanding. The paragraph also discusses the negative aspects of communication, such as the tendency to listen only to respond or to dominate the conversation, and emphasizes the need for honesty, clarity, and empathy in order to build a strong community based on shared ideas and mutual understanding.

10:05

🌉 Building Bridges Through Better Communication

The final paragraph focuses on the broader implications of communication for society. It draws a parallel between the individual's ability to communicate effectively and the health of the community and society at large. The speaker calls for better communication as a means to bridge divides and foster a sense of community. The paragraph concludes with a call to action, urging the audience to consider their communication style and its impact on others, and to take the first step towards more compassionate and effective communication.

Keywords

💡Perception

Perception refers to the process of interpreting and organizing sensory information to form a meaningful understanding of one's environment. In the video, it is mentioned that the speaker's father's hearing impairment has influenced his perception of the presence of frogs on the farm, as he does not hear them and thus does not look for them, leading to the belief that they are not there.

💡Hearing Impairment

Hearing impairment is a decrease in one's ability to hear sounds, which can be due to various causes, such as aging, injury, or illness. The video discusses how the father's hearing impairment has affected his daily life, particularly in terms of communication and the ability to perceive certain sounds, like frog songs.

💡Communication

Communication is the act of conveying meaning from one entity to another through the use of shared signs and semiotic rules. The video emphasizes the importance of effective communication, highlighting how the father's hearing impairment has limited his ability to engage in conversations, which are essential for building community and sharing ideas.

💡Belief

Belief is an acceptance that something exists or is true, especially one without proof. The script uses the father's belief about the absence of frogs as an example of how beliefs can be shaped by one's perceptions, and how challenging those beliefs can lead to a better understanding of different perspectives.

💡Conversation

A conversation is an informal talk involving two or more people. The video script discusses the impact of hearing loss on the father's ability to have conversations, which are crucial for learning to communicate and build relationships.

💡Listening

Listening is the act of paying attention to and understanding sounds or spoken words. The video emphasizes the importance of active listening in communication, noting that it is not just about hearing sounds but also about understanding the intent and meaning behind them.

💡Community

Community refers to a group of people living in the same place or having particular characteristics in common. The script discusses how communication builds community by allowing for the sharing of ideas and the establishment of relationships.

💡Barriers to Communication

Barriers to communication are obstacles that prevent effective exchange of information. The video identifies several barriers, including hearing impairment, preoccupation, and the need to be right, and suggests strategies for overcoming these to foster better understanding.

💡Intent

Intent refers to the purpose or aim of an action. In the context of the video, intent is highlighted as a crucial aspect of communication, where the speaker's intent to share ideas and understand the other person's perspective is key to effective dialogue.

💡Invisible Handicap

An invisible handicap refers to a disability that is not immediately apparent, such as a hearing impairment. The video uses this term to describe the challenges faced by the father, which are not always recognized or understood by others.

💡Empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. The video script suggests that empathy is important in communication, as it allows individuals to connect with others on a deeper level and respond with compassion rather than self-importance.

Highlights

The impact of hearing impairment on the perception of reality, as exemplified by the absence of frogs on a farm.

Beliefs are shaped by perceptions, and the lack of auditory input can lead to a lack of search and acknowledgment of certain elements in one's environment.

The benefits of frogs in an ecosystem, such as mosquito control, and the unfairness of someone missing out on these benefits due to sensory limitations.

The broader implications of hearing loss on social interactions and the ability to engage in community-building conversations.

The definition of communication as a two-way sharing of ideas, emphasizing the importance of both speaking and listening.

The invisible nature of hearing loss as a handicap, contrasting with more visible disabilities like wheelchairs or white canes.

The importance of active listening in communication, particularly in fields like marketing, journalism, and public relations where it is often overlooked.

The ineffectiveness of proving someone wrong as a means of communication, versus asking questions to understand their perspective.

The role of perception in shaping beliefs, as demonstrated by the father's belief about the absence of frogs due to his hearing impairment.

A real-life example of miscommunication due to differing perceptions at a customer service desk, highlighting the importance of understanding each other's viewpoints.

The barriers to communication presented by listening to form a response rather than to understand, and the impact this has on the conversation.

Strategies for effective communication, including face-to-face interaction, using short clear sentences, asking questions, and speaking distinctly.

The impact of various invisible barriers to listening, such as hearing impairment, depression, or low self-esteem, on the effectiveness of communication.

The need for genuine communication to establish community and the role of community in building a strong society.

The metaphor of trolls in social media and the negative impact of non-genuine communication on societal progress.

The power of shared ideas in human progress, from da Vinci's dream of flight to the development of modern aviation.

The call to action for individuals to improve communication one person at a time, starting with themselves.

The importance of compassion, compromise, and effective presentation of ideas for successful communication and community building.

The potential of better communication to bridge divides and bring people closer together in a community.

Transcripts

[Music]

[Applause]

okay go ahead and kick off your shoes

you know there are no frogs on my dad's

farm that is to say he believes there

are no frogs and there's no doubt that

our beliefs are highly influenced by our

perceptions will believe it when we see

it or hear it my dad's been hearing

impaired for a very long time nearly 40

years and there are some sounds he

doesn't hear one of those songs is frog

song if he doesn't hear them he's not

going to look for them and if he doesn't

look for them he won't see them and if

he doesn't see them for him they're not

there oh he used to have frogs other

people have frogs frogs are really good

to have around they eat mosquitoes and

who doesn't love that it's really kind

of unfair that my dad doesn't get to

have frogs hearing loss has taken other

things from my dad the most obvious is

the ability to have a conversation

conversation on the phone conversation

in the car the church fellowship hall

around the dinner table you get the idea

conversation is where we learn to

communicate we learn to build community

Webster defines communication as a

sharing of ideas sharing is a two-way

street we speak we listen my dad no

longer has those conversational skills

that he once had oh no don't get me

wrong my dad can do anything he can fix

anything

well anything except hearing loss that

he can't even see hearing loss is in

fact an invisible handicap no wheelchair

no white cane just tiny little hearing

aids my dad can't hear but some people

won't hear communications majors today

are being prepared for careers that

utilize skills in marketing and writing

and journalism and public relations and

promotions listening is not even on the

curriculum but in order for

communication to occur we have to not

only speak in a manner to be heard and

understood but also listen with the

intent to truly resonate with our

conversation partner now

when we share ideas that does not mean

we have to agree with everything we hear

it does not mean our conversation

partner has to agree with everything

they hear it does not mean we need to

have totally harmonious convictions to

converse but we do have to share if I

want to communicate to my dad that there

are frogs on the farm and I say

something like there are frogs on the

farm watch I'll go catch one oh look see

here here's a frog there are frogs on

the farm what was my intent to prove him

wrong there was certainly no sharing

going on in that line of attack a better

way to communicate would be to ask

questions to clarify what I don't

understand when I absolutely know there

are frogs on the farm I should ask my

dad why do you think the frogs are gone

at that point he might share with me an

idea he has about how global warming has

affected even his farm in northeastern

Indiana or he might say he doesn't

really know but he sure hasn't heard

them for a while now we're getting

somewhere now I know which of his

perceptions has influenced his belief

about the frogs perception the state of

being or the act of becoming aware of

one's surroundings through the senses

through his sense of hearing my dad has

become aware of the lack of frogs on the

farm now we have perceptions in

conversation as well one day at the

Target store I had to intervene at the

customer service desk two people were

talking one was hearing impaired the

other was buried in her computer at the

end of the exchange one side and walked

away happily the other also side it was

just a sigh but it was not the same sigh

and it did not have the same meaning

because these two women had very

different perceptions of the

conversation now hearing loss is only

one barrier to communication another one

is listening in a perfect world we have

a speaker and a listener

the speaker is using short concise

sentences and a

stressing herself in an understandable

way the listener is listening he's

paying attention he's understanding in a

perfect world but what if we have a

listener who is only listening to form a

response he's not communicating he's not

taking in the meaning being conveyed by

the spoken word nor can he he is instead

imposing his own meaning on the words

and as such can't possibly understand

what's been said or what if we have a

speaker who is only speaking to hear her

own voice in that case I suggest using a

camera or a mirror to get the full

effect

that's not conversation either we we see

this when we ask a question and the

response doesn't match we walk away from

that saying what just happened George

Bernard Shaw said the single greatest

misconception about communication is

that it has taken place when speaking to

be understood if at all possible

interact face-to-face make eye contact

and take turns in the deaf community if

we're not looking at one another we're

not talking to one another second use

short clear sentences and questions

questions guarantee that our message has

gotten through have you ever had a

conversation where you make a plan and

then you get stood up later with oh you

were serious about that ask questions

guarantee that you've been understood

third honesty use it every time finally

speak distinctly enunciate

remember you might be speaking to

someone who has hearing impairment or

depression or low self-esteem these are

all invisible barriers to listening

hearing loss very often steals that

final constant of a word and that missed

word draws concentration from the next

four or five words and the whole

sentence is gone at that point the

hearing-impaired individual simply

smiles and nods the one with depression

might be distracted from the

conversation with thoughts of self-harm

muffled speech could sound very much to

him like his own thoughts sound

the one with low self-esteem might be so

excited that he's actually having a

conversation that he totally misses the

communication aspect a clear distinct

voice will be heard better by everybody

listening with intent remember we want

to hear what our conversation partner is

saying we value them they need to know

this listen to the words the intonation

the emotion that you can hear in their

voice and see on your face if you're

paying attention second find common

ground even if you don't agree with the

overall statement I disagree with the

idea that toddler should snack on dry

dog food however I agree with the idea

that dry dog food is not going to harm a

toddler once we've established something

we can agree upon we're more likely to

have a sharing of ideas I could then ask

what is it about the dog food or the

toddler that makes this a good

combination then maybe talk about

alternative snacks the nutritional

values of each simply refuting someone's

statement no child should ever be forced

to eat dog food might miss the point of

the story perhaps the child was giving

the dog treats and the dog wanted to

share but that's a story for another

time we have other barriers to

communication the need to be right the

need to blame someone the need to argue

and while these are truly barriers to

communication are they truly needs no

not really

what we truly need to keep in mind is

that our community is built on

relationships and relationships are

built on the ability to share ideas

learn are da Vinci dreamed of flight

Orville and Wilbur built a plane on that

same dream that shared idea Boeing

Corporation has expanded on the idea

even further together people can

accomplish well the sky truly is the

limit today however people are

intentionally keeping themselves

separate because they're not listening

oh there's a lot of talk going on social

media revolves around posts being thrown

up on any wall available and then the

poster walks away

that's a troll if we remember our

literature trolls live under bridges

bridges built by others bridges that

help people get to where they are going

trolls hinder progress don't feed the

trolls genuine communication establishes

community and community is the basic

building block of our society without

this genuine communication community

starts to fall apart and our society is

not far behind so how do we change the

way communication is done one person at

a time and that person is you you decide

how you are going to speak how you are

going to listen how you are going to

respond are you going to speak with

compassion or self-importance are you

going to respond with demands or

compromise and I don't mean compromise

your beliefs or your convictions these

make you the person you are but how

these ideas are presented will affect

how well they are received how

successfully they're shared we live in

the greatest country in the world we

really do unless not to say we don't

have some issues to work on but we have

the freedom to disagree we have the

freedom to share our ideas even if we're

separated by a great chasm the first

step to building a bridge over that

chasm is better communication do I

believe that better communication will

solve all our issues maybe not today but

I have hope in a future where better

communication does draw us into closer

community somebody just needs to take

that first step be as somebody when God

met Moses at the burning bush he asked

him to take off his shoes and then he

had Moses total attention well I'm not

God but thanks for your attention good

night

you

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]