RESPECT means DIFFERENT things to MEN and WOMEN, or: where have all the real men gone?

Summary

In his talk, Dr. Orion Taraban discusses the differing perceptions of respect between men and women, emphasizing how this gap can lead to relationship frustrations. He identifies three main issues: men’s respect often places women on a pedestal, creating emotional distance; men tend to defer decisions, leading to a lack of initiative; and respect and sexual attraction can conflict, causing confusion in romantic contexts. Taraban suggests that 'consideration' may be a more useful term, advocating for a balance where men can assertively lead while valuing women's feelings and preferences.

Takeaways

• 😀 Respect means different things to men and women, influencing relationship dynamics.
• 😀 Women often feel that men lack initiative and leadership in relationships.
• 😀 Men's respect is often linked to admiration, placing women on a pedestal.
• 😀 This admiration can hinder emotional experiences for women during courtship.
• 😀 Deference in relationships can lead men to avoid making decisions.
• 😀 Men often equate respect with suppressing their sexuality.
• 😀 Sexuality and respect can be seen as mutually exclusive in men's minds.
• 😀 Women prefer to feel considered but still want men to take initiative.
• 😀 Effective communication about respect and consideration is crucial in relationships.
• 😀 Understanding these dynamics can lead to more fulfilling connections.

Q & A

What is the primary focus of Dr. Orion Taraban's talk?

The talk focuses on how respect is perceived differently by men and women, particularly in the context of relationships and dating.

What common complaint do women express about men's behavior in relationships?

Women often complain that men do not take initiative or lead in relationships, leading to feelings of frustration.

How does Dr. Taraban suggest men view respect?

Men tend to view respect as admiration, often placing women on a pedestal, which can hinder emotional connection in relationships.

What are the three ways respect can complicate relationships, according to the talk?

The three complications are: 1) men putting women on a pedestal, 2) men deferring to women instead of taking initiative, and 3) the conflict between respect and sexuality.

What does 'deference' mean in the context of respect?

Deference refers to a man's tendency to submit to a woman's preferences or judgments, which can lead to a lack of initiative in relationship dynamics.

Why does Dr. Taraban argue that respect and sexuality are often at odds?

He argues that social expectations of respect suppress sexual impulses, making it difficult for men to express sexual desire while also being respectful.

What alternative term does Dr. Taraban suggest might better capture what women want from men?

He suggests that 'consideration' might be a better term, as it encompasses taking women's feelings and preferences into account while still allowing men to lead.

How does the perception of respect influence men's behavior towards women?

Men may feel that they need to suppress their sexuality to show respect, which can result in a lack of assertiveness and initiative in dating.

What is the emotional experience that women typically seek in relationships?

Women generally seek emotional experiences and connection, which can be compromised when men overly idealize or defer to them.

What final takeaway does Dr. Taraban offer regarding men's actions in relationships?

Men should balance consideration for women's feelings with taking initiative to enhance the dynamics of romantic relationships.