Social Exclusion (Told Untold) Award Winning Short Indian Documentary

Summary

The video script narrates personal stories of individuals grappling with societal norms and stigmas. It includes accounts of a young woman's struggle with her sexual orientation and her family's initial rejection, leading to a therapeutic journey. Another story recounts a woman's traumatic experience of sexual assault within her family, the subsequent victim-blaming, and her path to healing. The narratives underscore the importance of acceptance, support, and the courage to confront one's identity and experiences.

Takeaways

• 😡 The Delhi gang rape incident sparked widespread anger across India, highlighting the need for societal change.
• 🏳️‍🌈 The Supreme Court's decision to criminalize homosexuality under Section 377 was a setback for LGBTQ+ rights in India.
• 📺 Media's portrayal of negative stories like rapes and murders can be overwhelming and desensitizing for viewers.
• 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 The power of storytelling is rooted in personal experiences and family dynamics, often shaped by societal norms.
• 🏠 Coming out as gay to conservative parents can be challenging, leading to emotional distress and family tension.
• 👨‍⚕️ Being taken to a psychiatrist by unsupportive parents can be a confusing and isolating experience for LGBTQ+ individuals.
• 🤝 Support from siblings can be a crucial lifeline for those struggling with their sexual identity within unaccepting families.
• 😢 Sexual assault within the family can lead to feelings of betrayal, fear, and long-lasting psychological trauma.
• 💔 The lack of support from parents following a sexual assault can exacerbate the victim's emotional turmoil.
• 👰 The societal pressure to conform to traditional gender roles and expectations can be a heavy burden, especially for those who are different.
• 💪 Finding the strength to speak out about personal struggles and societal issues can be empowering and inspiring to others.
• 🤝 The support from friends and the community can be a significant source of strength and validation for those who face discrimination and prejudice.
• 👨‍👩‍👧 Acceptance and understanding from parents are vital for the mental health and well-being of LGBTQ+ individuals, regardless of their age.

Q & A

What was the trigger event that sparked widespread anger across India?

The gang rape of a young woman in Delhi in a moving bus.

What was the Supreme Court's ruling regarding homosexuality?

The Supreme Court ruling criminalized homosexuality, setting aside the Delhi High Court order on Section 377.

How did the narrator's family react when they found out about their sexual orientation?

The narrator's family did not react in an extreme way but were unsure how to respond. They eventually took the narrator to a psychiatrist hoping to 'fix' the issue.

What was the psychiatrist's conclusion after assessing the narrator?

The psychiatrist concluded that the narrator's sexual orientation was not situational or something that would change over time, and advised not to tell the parents the real reason for the sessions.

What incident caused a rift between the narrator and their cousin's family?

The narrator was sexually assaulted by their cousin brother, which led to a halt in their visits to the cousin's house and eventually sharing the incident with the cousin sister.

How did the narrator's parents respond to the incident involving their cousin?

The narrator's parents did not take any action and advised the narrator to keep quiet to protect the family's reputation.

What was the narrator's experience like after coming out to their family?

The narrator felt lonely and distanced from their family for a period, but eventually moved towards a neutral stance and focused on their own success and happiness.

How did the narrator's future husband react when they learned about their past?

The narrator's future husband was supportive and encouraged them to let go of the past to move forward in life.

Why does the narrator choose not to hide their identity?

The narrator doesn't believe they have done anything wrong and wants to encourage others who may be going through similar experiences.

What is the narrator's message to their parents if they watch the film?

The narrator wants their parents to know that they are safe, happy, and will be successful in life, and hopes that their parents can accept them for who they are.

Outlines

00:00

🏳️‍🌈 Coming Out and Acceptance

This paragraph tells the story of a young man from a conservative family in Delhi who realizes and accepts his homosexuality. At the age of 16, he felt a stronger attraction towards boys than girls and decided to come out to his sister first, then his parents. His parents' initial reaction was one of confusion and denial, and they took him to a psychiatrist hoping to 'fix' him. However, the psychiatrist confirmed the young man's identity and advised against forcing a change. The story highlights the struggle for acceptance and the importance of understanding one's own identity.

05:03

😢 Surviving Family Betrayal and Assault

The narrator recounts a traumatic incident where she was assaulted by her cousin, leading to a profound sense of betrayal and a loss of trust in her family. Despite the support from her immediate family, she felt isolated and alone, especially when her family's response was to protect the family name rather than support her. The incident had a lasting impact on her life, affecting her trust in others and her overall well-being. The summary underscores the pain of familial betrayal and the struggle for justice and recognition within a traditional family structure.

10:18

💍 Moving Forward Despite Family Estrangement

The speaker discusses her decision to distance herself from her guardians after a traumatic event and the subsequent estrangement from her family. Despite the lack of support, she found strength in her own resilience and the support of her future husband, who encouraged her to confront her past. The summary highlights the importance of self-reliance and the healing power of understanding and supportive relationships in overcoming family rejection and trauma.

15:21

🌈 Advocating for LGBTQ+ Rights and Personal Acceptance

This paragraph details the speaker's reflections on the impact of the Supreme Court ruling on Section 377 and its potential consequences for the LGBTQ+ community. Despite initial fears, the speaker found support and acceptance among friends and peers. The narrative emphasizes the importance of speaking out, seeking professional help, and the need for parental support in accepting one's identity. The speaker's decision to reveal their identity publicly is a bold statement against societal stigma and a call for broader acceptance and understanding.

20:32

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 Challenging Societal Norms and Family Dynamics

The final paragraph is a heartfelt message to the speaker's parents, acknowledging their love and support while also expressing the desire for them to understand and accept their child's identity. The speaker reflects on societal norms that label those who are different as outcasts and the importance of sharing personal stories to challenge these norms. The summary encapsulates the struggle for acceptance within the family and society, the courage to be true to oneself, and the hope for a future where one can be successful and loved for who they are.

Keywords

💡Gang Rape

Gang rape refers to a form of sexual assault committed by a group of individuals acting together against one person. In the context of the video, it is mentioned as a trigger for anger across India, highlighting the severity of sexual violence issues within the society. The incident on a moving bus in Delhi is a specific example that sparked widespread outrage and protests.

💡Homosexuality

Homosexuality is romantic or sexual attraction between individuals of the same sex. The video discusses the Supreme Court ruling that criminalized homosexuality by reinstating Section 377, which had previously been overturned by the Delhi High Court. This decision is portrayed as a setback for LGBTQ+ rights and acceptance in India.

💡Coming Out

Coming out is the process of revealing one's sexual orientation or gender identity to others. In the script, the narrator recounts their experience of coming out to their family at the age of 16, which was met with confusion and a lack of understanding, illustrating the challenges faced by many LGBTQ+ individuals in conservative societies.

💡Psychiatrist

A psychiatrist is a medical professional specializing in the diagnosis, treatment, and prevention of mental health disorders. In the video, the narrator's parents take them to a psychiatrist in the hope of 'fixing' their homosexuality, which reflects a common misconception that being gay is a mental illness. The psychiatrist, however, understands it's an inherent part of the individual's identity.

💡Conservative Family

A conservative family adheres to traditional values and societal norms, often with limited acceptance of diversity in sexual orientation or gender identity. The video describes the narrator's struggle with a conservative family background, where their sexual orientation was not accepted, leading to a strained relationship and a sense of isolation.

💡Sexual Assault

Sexual assault is any involuntary sexual act where someone is exploited, threatened, or forced. The script includes a personal account of sexual assault by a family member, which had a profound impact on the narrator's life. This narrative underscores the prevalence of sexual violence and its emotional aftermath.

💡Stigma

Stigma refers to a mark of disgrace associated with a particular circumstance, quality, or person. The video discusses the stigma attached to being a social outcast, particularly in the context of LGBTQ+ individuals and sexual assault survivors. The narrator feels this stigma from their family's reaction and societal expectations.

💡Support System

A support system consists of friends, family, or other individuals who provide emotional, financial, or practical assistance. The video emphasizes the importance of a support system, particularly for individuals facing discrimination or trauma. The narrator finds support from their spouse and friends, which contrasts with the lack of support from their family.

💡Acceptance

Acceptance is the act of being willing to receive or undertake something. In the video, acceptance is a central theme, as the narrator seeks acceptance from their family regarding their sexual orientation and the trauma they experienced. Acceptance is portrayed as crucial for an individual's well-being and self-esteem.

💡Victim Blaming

Victim blaming is the act of assigning fault to the victim of a crime or unfortunate circumstance. The script mentions how the narrator was blamed for the sexual assault incident, highlighting the injustice and additional harm caused by such attitudes. This concept is used to critique societal responses to sexual violence.

💡Identity

Identity refers to the characteristics determining who or what a person or thing is. The video explores the importance of embracing one's identity, whether it be sexual orientation, gender, or experiences. The narrator's journey is about coming to terms with their identity and seeking acceptance and respect from others.

Highlights

The gang rape of a young woman in Delhi sparked nationwide anger and discussions on sexual violence.

The Supreme Court ruling on Section 377 criminalized homosexuality, reversing a previous Delhi high court order.

Negative news such as rapes, murders, and honor killings dominate media, leading to public frustration.

Stories are a fundamental part of human culture and memory, often retold and reshaped over time.

The narrator's coming out to their family at 16 was met with a lack of acceptance and understanding.

The narrator's sister was supportive upon learning about their sexuality through a letter.

The family's conservative background made it difficult for them to react or discuss the narrator's sexuality openly.

The narrator was taken to a psychiatrist by their parents, who mistakenly believed they could 'fix' their sexuality.

The psychiatrist confirmed the narrator's sexuality was not a phase and could not be changed.

The narrator's experience of sexual assault by a family member led to a breakdown in trust within the family.

The family's reaction to the assault was to deny and suppress the incident, rather than confront it.

The narrator's decision to reveal their identity publicly is a bold step towards challenging societal norms.

The narrator's husband was supportive and understanding about their past experiences.

The narrator's realization that they will not receive parental approval, despite their achievements, was a turning point.

The narrator's call for societal acceptance and understanding of LGBTQ+ individuals and their experiences.

The narrator's plea for parents to listen and support their children, regardless of their sexual orientation.

The narrator's message of hope and resilience, despite the challenges they have faced.

Transcripts

the gang rape of a young woman in Delhi

in a moving bus has become a trigger

point for anger not just in the national

capital but across India the Supreme

Court ruling has criminalized

homosexuality setting aside the Delhi

high court order on Section 377 instead

putting the owners on our

parliamentarians just switch off the TV

it's too

irritating there's nothing to watch all

of it's like a social commentary rapes

murders honor killings that's it it's

just too negative all negative stories

everywhere

stories we always love listening to

Stories We love being part of people's

Stories the earliest memories of our

childhood come from stories we have been

told the most beautiful stories are

usually fairy tales retold over and over

again but sometimes we just hear the

stories the way we want to remember the

parts we choose to remember we retell

the stories with changes until they are

no

more sometimes the most bold and

truthful stories are never

[Music]

told I was born and brought up in a

conservative sick family in Delhi being

the youngest a sibling I was always the

Pampered and the loved kid in the family

I always been a very outgoing and

extrovert kind of a person a few years

ago there was something very fundamental

about me that my parents got to know I

was just 16 then I didn't expect their

reaction to be the way it was I don't

think they are ever going to accept me

fully for who I

am I just always knew like throughout

school there was always this attraction

towards boys more than girls that was

actually never an attraction towards

Girls by the time I was 16 I think by

1617 I was absolutely short of it

and yeah that's when I made the decision

to come out to my

parents I came out to my sister in um I

couldn't even say it to her so I

actually wrote it down like a piece of

paper like a long letter and asking for

her acceptance and for her to understand

and I slipped it down her

door at night and she just sent me a

text saying she was happy that at least

I told her about it so slowly and

gradually I think my parents also had a

clue because I was meeting men who were

older than I was and I was talking about

other people who were not from school so

they somehow could guess and they

somehow did have an idea and I think

that my sister also went and told them

which for me in a way was both good good

and bad because I at that point of time

didn't have the courage to directly go

and tell

them so all of these incidents came

together and the whole thing happened

like they knew about it now they didn't

react they didn't know how to

react they they not they don't come from

a very liberal background and for them

to not react in an extreme way was

actually something that I was very happy

about

so they tried talking to me but they

couldn't they wanted to get to a certain

point where that conversation goes in

that direction and I was very patient

and so were they but they didn't know

how to strike that conversation so that

conversation technically never

happened and they just kept saying

things like that is wrong or this

shouldn't be

happening and I think one fine day they

just decided to take me to a

psychiatrist

[Music]

I was very happy that I'm going to the

psychiatrist to sort it out and I think

the first question that the psychist

asked me was uh why do you think you're

here and I do it in

that I think my parents are parents

think that I'm angry and I have have

anger issues and there's something wrong

with me that there's something happening

in my personal life which I'm not

telling them

about so that's why they took that

that's what I told him but eventually I

told him that I know what the real

reason is and

uh he agreed to this scene and we

decided not to tell my parents that I

know why I'm there and to not have that

conversation with them because they took

me to that guy with a lot of hope they

wanted to fix it but it can't be fixed

basically

so yeah and I found myself sitting in

his room once a week once in two weeks

initially and for a good I think the

whole thing went on for about a year but

then the frequency fizzled out after a

bit after the whole session happened he

tried talking to me he wanted to be sure

that it was just not hormones talking or

some [ __ ] like that and uh after

assessing the whole thing and doing the

whole thing for 3 months he kind of

understood that it's it's basically

there like it's not situational or it's

not something that's going to go after a

point of time and when he tried talking

to my parents about it he said that

they're never going to

understand

I I didn't know what to say but I mean

he knew more than obviously I did and uh

if he can't convince them then I

definitely can't convince them

so I was born and brought up um in a

traditional Kumi family in anal and I

moved to Delhi 14 years ago for my

graduation I was a very fun-loving

vicious and a friendly kind of a person

and U right from my childhood I was very

independent because that is how my

parents brought me up but then suddenly

something happened at the personal

family front that made me

halt I could couldn't believe that

something like this could happen with

me I couldn't believe that my very

strong parents didn't support

me it was a Saturday so my cousin

brother um my sister and me we decided

to go for this very nice film and um and

my aunt was traveling and you know we we

had the house all by ourselves uh after

dinner we started talking and you know

my cousin she doed she dozed off she

slept and um OB obiously we both had

decided to sleep in the same room

because there were two bedrooms it was a

2bhk but then she slept on the sofa in

the drawing room and um finally you know

even I was drowsy and I said I want to

sleep so I went inside and I I I just

changed and I slept and after like half

an hour I you know something happened

and you know this fellow was you know my

brother he came and he you know he he

lied next to me

and

um and in no time was he you know all

over me and tried to do and he's Tred to

do things you know that was not

appropriate and probably my cousin I I I

had never dreamed that my cousin would

do such a thing and you know and I

couldn't even shout because he um

actually kept his hand really tight on

my lips and I couldn't speak a word and

um you know but then I know I could

gather all that strength from somewhere

and I just pushed him I just pushed him

so far and you know and I just said stop

that was something that I told him to do

and you know he just he just got off the

bed and he left the room and um you know

the next morning I I just picked my bag

and I left and um I went back to my

hostel I um you know I kept crying and

you know it was just one incident but

then I had never never been with a man

before and you know the first time

someone touched me was in such a dirty

in such a pervert way that I mean it had

such an adverse effect on my entire life

you know for that that that momentary

phase in my life my college life that I

just could not believe in any other

person now uh this cousin um you know my

um cousin sister eventually one day she

called me up and she asked me you know

you you've stopped frequenting their

house and I was like you know I have a

reason and U you know I then told her

that that particular night the entire

incident I narrated the whole story and

she was

[Music]

shocked they created a hype about it

that I used to be with boys and I used

to act with uh boys and I was totally

devoting all my time to theater and uh

that was not true that was really really

not true but then you know my parents

were Outsiders and um being the elder

daughter with so much trust they had

sent me to Delhi that you know even I

was always whatever step I took in Delhi

was to protect that trust they had in me

[Music]

I did not sleep the entire night 6 a.m.

when the PCO opened I went down I called

my father and I said you know I do not

want them to be my my guardian anymore

and I told my mother and she was like

she was

shocked and she said you did not tell me

then so now we cannot do anything about

it I was like you don't have to do

anything you just have to stop listening

to them because whatever they say

whatever they will say they will plant

stories about me because they have to

prove their son right and this is what

they have been doing though I'm very

very close to my father but then because

it was his sister you know it I actually

stopped talking about

it and I decided not never to confront

my father and tell him all these things

and I wanted my mother to be the you

know mediator and my mother

refused I mean until date and the only

excuse she gave me was um you should

understand that it's going to risk the

entire family and all the relations and

who's going to believe you now you know

One Fine Day my father over the phone he

started reminding me of whatever had

happened and I completely lost trust in

everything and I told him I for the

first time I shouted at him and I told

him that you know this is what has

happened in my life whether you believe

it or you don't believe

it but you know I never got an you know

Assurance based call from my father and

neither did I get any call from my

mother all I was asked to do was to shut

up

[Music]

[Music]

I don't want to hide my identity because

um I don't think I have anything to hide

it for I'm completely okay with

revealing my face I haven't done

anything wrong so I really don't care

what anyone would perceive about me if

they know who I am and um what my story

is I really do not want to hide my

identity I don't want to be a victim

forever I don't care if my face is

revealed and my story goes out to the

people because the most unfortunate part

is that a victim remains a victim

forever if the victim doesn't have the

strength to come out in open

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

I was about to get married in January

2011 and uh in October 2010 I got a

random call my today's husband and then

fion bat and you know he was right there

he said what happened and then I told

him and he already knew about it because

we were child you know we were college

buddies you know we both sat down we

talked about it and he said you know

he's a part of your life and this

particular incident will not go until

you let it go he was also and you know

uh in college when I had told him he was

more Angry he was he wanted to kill him

and you know he did not want to uh want

me to meet him ever but then now you

know just before our marriage buas was

so mature that he he asked me to calm

down initially when I had come out and

the whole thing was happening at home so

I felt that my parents and my sister

have distanced themselves a bit from me

so I kind of felt lonely for that period

of time in my own house but I think that

feeling just went away eventually when I

decided to be very neutral about it

parents approval is of course important

but uh I know for the fact that I'm

never going to get it like no matter

what I do like even if I become say the

richest guy in the world it's not going

to happen so I've kind of come to terms

with it I think they just want to see me

safe disease free and uh successful in

life

and I'm working on that I'm just I'm 24

and I kind of like moving into moving

towards a direction where I can um make

something out of my life I I am not

saying that they have not supported me

but then you know the stigma of becoming

a social outcast and with me becoming

one there were you know um more chances

of them

becoming the scapegoat in the entire

case and probably to protect that maybe

U you know they asked me to keep quiet

so apparently when we talk about all

these you know feminists around and we

talk about all these anti- rape you know

activ waste and I feel so shallow that

something that happens in our families

are not even talked about they won't

even come and tell you that fine we will

think about it you know there is no

thought given to it it's a complete

locking the window and throwing the key

somewhere and that's

deliberate so uh when the whole 377

thing happened I somehow felt that it is

going to affect me and my day-to-day

activities because um I think it gives

other people a

reason to attack the KE or the lesbian

or the transgender community in some way

or the

other but eventually I realized that I'm

surrounded by such people

that I don't really need to care about

it cuz everyone I came out on Facebook

after that everyone was very supportive

people from my flight school who

I never thought would be friends with me

came out to me sent me texts saying that

they're very proud of what I've done and

they very and they stand by me

[Music]

[Music]

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after talking to you when I came home

and I actually gave a thought to it I

realized that you know if I dare to

speak and if I dare to come before the

camera and talk about it without my face

being blurred because that is what you

suggested then and uh you know I wanted

people to know who is talking what so

that they can relate to it and then you

know I want everybody to know that the

parents you are the biggest support to

any child no matter what age the child

is in maybe you know your child is

married today but then for you the

person will always remain a Child So

Hear the story out there are a lot of

people out there who have not gained

that sort of acceptance

from society and moreover from

themselves they're not comfortable in

their own skin which I think is very

important because till the time you

don't come to terms with it

people around you will not respect you

for who you

are so I think this is

just my contribution to um some of those

people who are not lucky enough to have

parents who will discuss something like

this with them or take them to a

psychiatrist or to a professional help

and just basically help them deal with

it because some people don't even have

the courage to tell their parents

what if your parents see this film I

want them to see this film it's not

about what did they see I will make them

see this film not to make them feel more

guilty I know they are guilty somewhere

down the line because you know after I

told my mother she wrote a letter to me

saying that how she trusted me and what

I mean to her and I know they love me

and I love them back more than I loved

them then or you know with each passing

day but then I really want them to watch

it

I don't think that my parents will see

this film because uh

it's I I I don't

know I don't think there'll be much of a

reaction it will probably just they'll

just ignore this

[Music]

it doesn't matter if something happened

to you at Birth or later in life the way

Society reacts is the same just because

it is not mainstream it labels you as an

outcast an outsider a victim with a

story that must not be shared and that

is exactly when the story ought to be

told these were stories that I wasn't

aware of until I start looking for them

and they were all within my circle of

friends if I could find so many people

imagine the number of people we sit with

every day without the faintest idea of

what they have been through without

knowing which joke silently hurts them

even when they smile

back Mom Dad if you're seeing this then

um

you already know all of this and you've

been with me

throughout I don't know if this is going

to change things

but I'm happy the way it is you don't

have to adapt or change anything and you

don't have to come to terms with it if

you don't want

to I'm safe and I'm happy and I'm just

going to be successful in life and make

you proud in if not in this way if not

by getting married to a really pretty

girl but I might I might do other things

which might make you

happier okay MAA I really really really

love you and I respect you for you have

raised me the way I am today and uh all

I want to say that is that I'm sorry for

maybe not being empathetic towards your

social needs but then I also want to

tell you that I know that you will will

accept what I whatever I have you know

shared today because uh it's equally

important and my love for you will go

grow stronger if you watch it and you

understand

[Music]