Jimmy Deals With Audience Member Causing Trouble | Jimmy Carr Vs Hecklers | Jimmy Carr

Jimmy Carr: Heckle Amnesty
23 Aug 202415:51

Summary

TLDRIn this engaging and humorous script from a comedy show, the host interacts with various audience members, discussing topics ranging from hair transplants to military service, and from job interviews to newlywed life. With witty banter and sharp observations, the comedian weaves in and out of personal anecdotes and audience stories, creating a lively atmosphere that showcases his skill in improvisational comedy.

Takeaways

  • 😄 The comedian discusses a hair transplant, humorously describing the process as 'socialist' because it redistributes hair from areas of abundance to where it's needed.
  • 😅 There's a running joke about the comedian's hair making him look like 'Tintin with a plastic face' when he gets creeped out.
  • 🎉 A man named Jack, who is in the military, is part of the audience and reveals that he recently got married.
  • 💡 The comedian teases Jack about his wife being 'too good for him' and speculates that she might be interested in his 'military intelligence'.
  • 🤔 An audience member named Dave is unemployed and looking for management roles, which leads to a series of puns and jokes about his accent and the idea of him managing a mill.
  • 🤷‍♂️ The comedian addresses a disruptive audience member, suggesting they either be quiet or be asked to leave, using humor to handle the situation.
  • 🎭 The comedian shares a personal anecdote about returning to St. Albans with a friend, where they had previously met and it led to a divorce.
  • 💍 A woman named Wendy and her fiancé Pascal are in the audience, having recently gotten engaged in Antigua.
  • 🏆 The comedian wraps up by promoting his new tour, 'Jimmy Carr Laughs Funny', and encourages people who enjoy his humor to attend.
  • 🤣 Throughout the script, the comedian uses audience interaction and personal stories to create a dynamic and engaging performance.

Q & A

  • What is the main topic discussed at the beginning of the script?

    -The main topic discussed at the beginning of the script is the concept of a hair transplant and how it works, described in a humorous and somewhat confusing manner.

  • What does the speaker compare the hair transplant process to?

    -The speaker compares the hair transplant process to socialism, as it involves taking hair from where it's plentiful and redistributing it where it's needed.

  • What is the downside of the hair transplant mentioned in the script?

    -The downside mentioned is that the person ends up with a spiky sensation on the back of their neck when they get creeped out, which resembles the look of the comic character Tintin with a plastic face.

  • What is the profession of the person named Jack in the script?

    -Jack is in the military, specifically in the Air Force, and works in data science.

  • What is the humorous misunderstanding in the script about Jack's profession?

    -There is a humorous misunderstanding where it's suggested that Jack might be a spy because of his military background, which he clarifies by stating he works in data science.

  • What is the relationship between the speaker and the person they are addressing as 'Jimmy'?

    -The relationship is not explicitly stated, but it is implied that they have a history together, possibly as friends or acquaintances, as they mention returning to a place they first met 4 and a half years ago.

  • What is the context of the person being told to 'get your suit off'?

    -The context is a humorous misunderstanding where the speaker initially tells someone to 'get your suit off,' but then corrects themselves to say 'get your suit up,' implying that the person is dressed inappropriately for the occasion.

  • What is the occupation of the person named Dave in the script?

    -Dave is unemployed and currently interviewing for management roles.

  • What is the humorous suggestion made about Dave's potential job?

    -The humorous suggestion is that Dave should be put in charge of a mill, due to his accent and the speaker's playful tone.

  • What is the situation with the couple who got engaged in Antigua?

    -The couple, Wendy and Pascal, recently got engaged in Antigua, and Wendy works as a nanny while Pascal's occupation is not mentioned in the script.

  • What is the final segment of the script about?

    -The final segment is a promotional message for Jimmy Carr's new comedy tour called 'Jimmy Carr Laughs Funny,' inviting people to visit his website for details.

Outlines

00:00

😄 Hair Transplants and Military Life

The comedian discusses his hair transplant, humorously describing the process as 'socialist' because it redistributes hair from a plentiful area to where it's needed. He then engages with an audience member named Jack, who reveals he's in the military. The conversation takes a light-hearted turn as the comedian playfully explores Jack's military role, eventually learning that he's in the Air Force and works in data science. There's also a comedic exchange about Jack's recent marriage and the comedian's skepticism about his wife's motives.

05:01

🎭 Observations on Audience and Comedy Club

The script shifts to the comedian's observations about the audience, particularly a man named Dave who is dressed informally despite the setting. Dave shares that he's currently unemployed and seeking management roles, leading to a series of jokes about his accent and potential job fit. The comedian also interacts with a couple who got married in Vegas, humorously questioning the authenticity of their union. The segment includes a critique of audience behavior, with the comedian addressing a disruptive group and a slightly intoxicated woman, using humor to maintain order.

10:01

💍 Engagements and Reunions

This paragraph features a couple, Wendy and Pascal, who recently got engaged in Antigua. The comedian jests about their engagement, making playful references to traditional proposals and the couple's relationship dynamics. Additionally, the comedian and a 'life boss' reflect on their past visit to St. Orbin, which led to a series of personal upheavals, including a divorce. The narrative includes a dramatic revelation of an affair and the subsequent relationship that emerged from it. The segment ends with a light-hearted interaction with a man named Jimmy, who is in love with his best friend, adding a layer of romantic intrigue to the show.

15:04

😂 Comedy Tour Promotion

In the final paragraph, the comedian, Jimmy Carr, promotes his new tour, 'Jimmy Carr Laughs Funny.' He uses the analogy of magnets to describe how jokes attract some people while repelling others, acknowledging the divisive nature of comedy. He invites those who enjoy his humor to his shows, providing the website for more details. This segment serves as a direct address to the audience, moving from the interactive and observational humor of the previous segments to a more personal and promotional tone.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Hair transplant

A hair transplant is a surgical technique that removes hair follicles from one part of the body, known as the 'donor site,' and transplants them to a balding part, known as the 'recipient site.' In the script, the comedian discusses his personal experience with a hair transplant, humorously describing it as a 'socialist' procedure because it involves redistributing hair from an area of abundance to where it is needed, such as the top of the head.

💡Socialist

The term 'socialist' refers to a political and economic theory advocating for the means of production, distribution, and exchange to be owned or regulated by the community as a whole. In the context of the script, it is used metaphorically to describe the hair transplant process, suggesting that it is a form of wealth redistribution, albeit for hair follicles rather than economic resources.

💡Fintech startup

A fintech startup refers to a company that applies technology to make financial services more accessible and efficient. In the script, one of the characters claims to work for a fintech startup, using it as a 'great cover story' to avoid follow-up questions, highlighting the mysterious and somewhat elusive nature of such companies in the public eye.

💡Military

The military is the armed forces of a country, responsible for national defense. In the video script, a character named Jack reveals that he is in the military, which leads to a series of humorous exchanges about the nature of his service, including a playful confusion about whether he is part of a 'military' or 'Islamic State,' and a discussion of his role in the Air Force.

💡Data science

Data science is a field that uses scientific methods, processes, algorithms, and systems to extract knowledge and insights from data. In the script, Jack's role in the military is described as being involved in data science, suggesting a modern, analytical aspect of military operations that contrasts with traditional combat roles.

💡New York

New York is both a city and a state in the United States, known for its cultural, financial, and media influence. The script mentions New York as the home of a character named Jack, who is in the military, and this contrast between the urban, cosmopolitan setting and the military lifestyle adds to the humor of the situation.

💡Vegas

Vegas, short for Las Vegas, is a city in Nevada known for its casinos, entertainment options, and as a popular destination for weddings. In the script, it is revealed that a couple got married in Vegas, which is often associated with quick, sometimes impulsive marriages, adding to the comedic element of their story.

💡Nanny

A nanny is a person employed to take care of children, often living with or near the family they work for. In the script, Wendy reveals that she is a nanny, and this profession is humorously connected to the character of Peter Pan, adding a whimsical element to her introduction.

💡Engagement

Engagement refers to the period or event when two people commit to being in a marriage, often marked by the proposal and the giving of a ring. In the script, Wendy and Pascal are newly engaged, and their story of getting engaged in Antigua is shared, providing a romantic subplot to the narrative.

💡Comedy club

A comedy club is a venue where comedians perform stand-up routines for an audience. The script mentions a comedy club in Austin, suggesting that the setting of the video might be in such a venue, and highlighting the social and entertainment aspect of live comedy performances.

💡Jimmy Carr

Jimmy Carr is a British comedian known for his dark humor and witty one-liners. In the script, the speaker introduces himself as Jimmy Carr and mentions his new tour, 'Jimmy Carr Laughs Funny,' indicating that the script is from one of his comedy performances and providing context for the humor and style of the content.

Highlights

A humorous discussion about hair transplants and the process of taking hair from one part of the head to another.

A joke about the misconception of 'donor' in hair transplants, leading to a funny comment about waiting for a motorcycle accident.

A comedic anecdote about the side effect of hair transplants causing the back of the neck to look spiky when hairs stand up.

A playful interaction with the audience where the comedian is mistaken for having a 'plastic face'.

A funny exchange about a military man in the audience, leading to a clarification of which military he serves.

A light-hearted moment where the comedian teases a military man about his role in the Air Force and what he does.

A humorous misunderstanding about the term 'fintech startup' and its potential as a cover story.

A comedian's playful banter with an audience member about being from New York and the implications of that.

A funny moment discussing the comedian's return to St. Orbin and the impact of his previous visit.

A comedic interaction with a newly engaged couple, including a playful jab about the proposal.

A witty comment about the audience's reaction to a homewrecker story, highlighting the comedian's ability to read the room.

A humorous situation where a man is trying to confess his love to his best friend, leading to a suggestion to do it live on stage.

A funny moment where the comedian addresses a couple who had an affair and subsequently got back together.

A playful and slightly inappropriate joke about a man's voice being perfect for managing a mill.

A moment of audience interaction where the comedian addresses a man's job search and suggests he should be in charge of something.

A comedian's self-promotion for his new tour, 'Jimmy Carr Laughs Funny', inviting the audience to see him live.

Transcripts

play00:00

where's your real hair where's my this

play00:01

is my real hair it's just it's just not

play00:03

from

play00:07

there this is The Wonder of the hair I

play00:09

had a hair transplant right so the weird

play00:11

thing about a hair transplant is they uh

play00:14

it's quite socialist in a way they take

play00:16

there's no donor right there's no donor

play00:19

with it makes it sound like there

play00:20

because it's got donor hair transplant

play00:22

people think transplant is going to be a

play00:23

donor there's no donor I wasn't

play00:24

ghoulishly waiting by the

play00:27

phone for news of a member of One dire

play00:30

in a motorcycle

play00:31

accident so I could Nick a quiff off a

play00:34

cops

play00:35

no what they do it's very social is they

play00:38

take the hair from where it's plentiful

play00:39

and they put it where it's needed right

play00:40

so they took the hair from around the

play00:41

back there they pluck it out

play00:42

individually and then replant it

play00:44

wherever you need it for me up the top

play00:45

there I mean it works the downside is

play00:48

you know that sensation you get where

play00:50

the hairs on the back of your neck stand

play00:54

up well now when I get that this bit

play00:57

goes spiky yeah

play01:01

if I get creeped out I look like [ __ ]

play01:05

Tintin plastic face what sorry plastic

play01:10

face I think he's saying plastic is he

play01:12

saying plastic are you saying plastic

play01:14

plastic face PL plastic face it's just

play01:18

we couldn't understand when you said

play01:24

plastic

play01:28

a are you just

play01:31

hungry so anyone got a Rubik's

play01:42

Cube I can't help but notice you've got

play01:44

a crown on C birthday it's his birthday

play01:48

I couldn't give a

play01:52

[ __ ] I think we all feel the same

play01:55

what's what's your name my friend Jack

play01:58

Jack yeah hi Jack

play02:03

uh what do you do Jack I'm in the

play02:05

military you're in the military our

play02:08

military or Islamic

play02:11

State good to clarify before we get

play02:13

carried away and

play02:14

applaud which one ours [ __ ]

play02:18

tremendous love it what on

play02:21

you and uh which bit of the military

play02:25

because obviously there's different

play02:27

personal what sorry we're getting quite

play02:29

personal what are you a spy just the

play02:31

world's worst I'm in the military [ __ ]

play02:34

I'm not meant to

play02:37

say

play02:39

bastard go on which which bit are you

play02:41

Navy Army Air Force Air Force Air Force

play02:43

it's the [ __ ] best bit right it's the

play02:45

[ __ ] best we're g and what what do

play02:46

you do in the air because obviously

play02:48

there's there's Top Gun pilots and then

play02:51

someone's got to make the scrambled eggs

play02:52

there

play02:54

different in the military he's a what a

play02:57

nerd he's a he's a nerd he's a data

play03:00

science in the military yeah okay well

play03:02

why are you [ __ ] him then

play03:08

love did they you met the nerd from the

play03:11

military at computer science it turned

play03:13

you off and then it turned you on

play03:19

again

play03:20

presumably now I don't want to be that

play03:23

guy but you don't sound like you're from

play03:25

Round

play03:26

Here whereabouts are you from New York

play03:29

from New York okay Jack

play03:34

Jack I don't know how to put this to you

play03:39

in a way that you won't find incredibly

play03:43

offensive she's clearly too good for

play03:48

you and she's only with you for your

play03:50

military

play03:52

intelligence what s we just got married

play03:55

two months ago you just got married two

play03:56

months ago yeah don't no I'm not saying

play03:59

I'm stop it what why are you clapping a

play04:04

[ __ ]

play04:07

spy of course I'll bring home the

play04:09

military

play04:10

Secrets I can't believe you let me touch

play04:13

your

play04:15

boob it's [ __ ] loser can't believe

play04:18

he's

play04:20

luck congratulations what what do you do

play04:23

obious

play04:24

spy yeah what do you do oh I work for a

play04:27

fintech startup a fintech startup up

play04:30

great cover story

play04:32

because the problem with the cover story

play04:34

is you don't want any follow-up

play04:35

questions right who would ask a

play04:38

follow-up question about a fintech

play04:40

startup I feel quite drowsy just saying

play04:43

it

play04:46

again no one knows what fintech startups

play04:49

are yeah

play04:52

exactly I think we do we're just not

play04:56

interested there a difference

play05:00

and you're from New York yeah well

play05:02

welcome to St

play05:05

orans the city that often

play05:11

sleeps yeah it's quite

play05:14

doy good was very nice to have you yeah

play05:16

congratulations on getting married where

play05:17

did you get married s Orbin or New York

play05:19

uh Vegas you got married in Vegas

play05:25

yeah I feel somehow Jack's been

play05:28

liveaction catfish

play05:34

something is off about this

play05:39

Jack God love him good luck you to any

play05:43

other heckles please feel free oh you

play05:44

need your suit off what sorry who you

play05:47

need your suit up oh' you get your suit

play05:50

up don't [ __ ]

play05:54

no you sound objectionably

play05:57

Northern a two 2 in yes suit so it must

play06:01

be for somebody else no that's that's

play06:04

that's how a suit is

play06:08

Scutter I don't know I don't know if

play06:10

you're aware

play06:11

but you've come dressed by primar I mean

play06:13

there there's no there's no

play06:19

[ __ ] I don't want to be a dick about

play06:21

it but you look like a potato still in

play06:23

the sack

play06:26

[Applause]

play06:29

I've come dressed as Thomas Crown

play06:34

[ __ ] what what's your name just

play06:36

cuz I want to hear more of your voice

play06:37

what's your name Dave

play06:40

Dave I love the idea that he popped out

play06:44

probably [ __ ] walked out

play06:46

um I know he's mother

play06:48

I what should we call him baby

play06:52

Dave let's call him baby Dave Dave I

play06:56

imagine he'll be a big

play06:57

block what do you do

play07:00

uh very

play07:01

little it's for the best you don't [ __ ]

play07:04

it

play07:08

up go on who what do you do man uh quite

play07:12

literally very little h on the L the

play07:14

lady the Cara what do he what does he

play07:19

doing a lady just raised her hand as if

play07:21

to say he's not at his meds I can't make

play07:23

him take his meds go what does he do

play07:26

she's a teacher so she needs to raise

play07:27

her hand for everything

play07:30

okay go on what what do he doing he is

play07:34

interviewing at the he's

play07:36

interviewing well Dave all the very best

play07:38

with I think there's an is there a is

play07:40

there a quick way of when someone's

play07:41

interview what's it called again

play07:42

unemployed Dave you're un

play07:48

employees I'm just interviewing at the

play07:52

moment no Dave you're [ __ ] signing

play07:58

on what kind of work are you looking for

play08:01

management

play08:03

roles yeah we should put you in charge

play08:06

of

play08:11

something I don't I'm I'm only going on

play08:13

your accent Now Dave which is

play08:15

magnificent by the way but does anyone

play08:17

have a mill that needs

play08:21

managing because that is the perfect

play08:23

voice to go oh trouble up

play08:27

Mill and they [ __ ] be with him in

play08:31

charge seems quite why are you not

play08:33

sitting down to to I'm going

play08:37

toilet You' allowed to go on your own

play08:39

you sound like a [ __ ]

play08:45

[Music]

play08:46

idiot just take a moment to just think

play08:49

that's my [ __ ] job I'm allowed to say

play08:50

that to people who else gets to do that

play08:54

you when you you working in your job if

play08:56

you meet a [ __ ] idiot I bet you've

play08:57

got to make nice I guess get to just

play08:59

call him a [ __ ]

play09:01

idiot but Wai for you to take me you're

play09:04

waiting for me to take you be waiting a

play09:06

long

play09:10

time I don't

play09:12

know I blame the

play09:15

alcohol not what you've had this evening

play09:17

what your mother was drinking when she

play09:18

was

play09:27

pregnant that was quite a uh

play09:29

quite a polite sort of Round of Applause

play09:31

like someone had scored a four in

play09:34

cricket for a joke about fetal alcohol

play09:38

syndrome Ah that's rather good

play09:41

yes I imagine he was from a terrible

play09:49

home just join

play09:51

in go and suck off Joe Rogan what sorry

play09:55

go and suck off Jo go and suck off Joe

play09:57

Rogan we're both straight guys and one

play10:01

of us could kill

play10:02

you that's more Joe's

play10:05

Department are you a big Joe Rogan fan

play10:07

is that your thing yeah I watch his

play10:09

podcast you watch the podcast yeah I I

play10:13

really enjoy doing it he's a very good

play10:14

guy there you

play10:17

go that's a boring

play10:19

story it's good the comedy club's

play10:21

[ __ ] great in Austin go there it's

play10:23

great fun hang on I'm just going to deal

play10:26

with this for one second uh guys you're

play10:28

still standing out and I think you're

play10:30

talking a little bit too much you're

play10:31

probably irritating the people around

play10:33

you so either stop or we're going to

play10:36

kick you out it'll be a pain in the

play10:41

ass no no don't just Crouch down either

play10:43

sit down or get to the bar [ __ ] well go

play10:47

you [ __ ] off [ __ ] off to the bar then

play10:48

mate no no no [ __ ] off to the bar now

play10:52

security go off

play10:57

there and the slightly slightly drunken

play11:00

lady I hope you're having a lovely time

play11:02

but no more no

play11:04

no couldn't give a [ __ ] just

play11:07

shush there's a lovely Australian phrase

play11:10

the Aussies have they don't get enough

play11:11

credit for their phrasing they use the

play11:13

language beautifully sometimes if a l

play11:15

bit drunk and a bit loud they'll say

play11:17

stick a dick in

play11:20

it h I imagine you're no

play11:24

stranger sh I find the work guarantee

play11:29

a chatter blind that works 100% of the

play11:32

time a chatter blind that works 100% of

play11:34

the time does this rag smell of

play11:35

chloroform to

play11:40

[Applause]

play11:46

you get in the

play11:54

van no I'm very

play11:59

all right I guess I could see the kids

play12:00

at weekends be

play12:04

fine any other Wendy who is very essic

play12:07

just got engaged to one hell of a fell

play12:09

by the name of

play12:10

Pascal where's Wendy where are you

play12:13

Wendy hi Wendy and Pascal you just got

play12:18

engaged well I would ask did he go down

play12:20

on one knee but I imagine you pissed on

play12:22

a

play12:26

stick we're getting married a trapa um

play12:29

what what happened how was the how was

play12:31

the uh proposal we got engaged in Antiga

play12:34

in

play12:35

Antiga ooh

play12:38

fancy and and what what do you do Wendy

play12:41

I'm a nanny you're a

play12:44

nanny called

play12:49

Wendy it's straight out of Peter Pan

play12:51

isn't it I love it [ __ ] girl what

play12:53

about Pascal what do you do Pascal he

play12:55

got to the toilet

play13:01

and Nanny didn't have to go with

play13:04

him it's very grown up all right what

play13:06

else we got um you have to love this but

play13:09

me and the life boss have come back to

play13:13

what you have to love this but me and

play13:15

the life boss have come back to St Orbin

play13:17

after 4 and a half years since we first

play13:20

met here the first meeting triggered

play13:22

divorce Etc it's been a blast row mm

play13:25

seat one and two what the [ __ ] is going

play13:26

on here

play13:29

hey

play13:30

D go what who who did what what happened

play13:33

oh we started Our Fair 4 and a half

play13:35

years ago so we come back tonight you

play13:38

started an affair 4 and a half years ago

play13:40

yeah oh and then and you've got divorced

play13:42

and now you're together yeah we come

play13:43

back

play13:45

together

play13:46

[Applause]

play13:48

yay I tell you he's

play13:52

applauding she loves a home

play13:55

wrecker this poor man's dying of anxiety

play14:03

give him back it's not

play14:06

yours Jimmy I'm in love with my best

play14:09

friend who's with me how do I tell her

play14:11

that let's do it now where are

play14:15

you who who's with their best friend in

play14:18

love with them we might as well huh it's

play14:20

me hi hi

play14:25

Jimmy and where's the best friend hi the

play14:27

best friend hi

play14:40

and what

play14:42

um it's a safic romance I wasn't

play14:46

expecting

play14:47

that okay ladies and uh how long have

play14:49

you known each other forever

play14:53

forever

play14:54

oh and you fancy you're going on each

play14:56

other's fannies

play15:00

what sry I told her to grow a cck you

play15:04

told her to grow a

play15:06

cck I think she'll probably more

play15:08

convenient just to strap one

play15:12

on she doesn't like plastic she doesn't

play15:15

like plastic she's spent the last two

play15:17

hours staring at my face she'll be

play15:20

right she get used to it um Good Luck

play15:23

ladies hello I'm Jimmy Carr and I've got

play15:25

a new tour it's called Jimmy car laughs

play15:27

funny now I think jokes I like magnets

play15:29

they attract some people some people

play15:31

like my comedy and a million of you came

play15:33

to see me on my last tour thanks very

play15:35

much by the way uh but like magnets

play15:37

jokes attract and they repel some people

play15:39

are repelled by my sense of humor if

play15:41

that's you don't come and see me live

play15:43

but if you like this kind of thing come

play15:45

and see Jimmy car laughs funny I'll be

play15:47

uh well I'll be everywhere go to Jimmy

play15:48

car.com for details

Rate This

5.0 / 5 (0 votes)

Связанные теги
Stand-up ComedyHumorLife ObservationsJimmy CarrComedic TimingSocial CommentaryHair TransplantMilitary JokesFintechEngagement Stories
Вам нужно краткое изложение на английском?