Ali Wong - Lessons for Her Daughters in “Dear Girls” and Life as a Female Comic | The Daily Show

Summary

In this episode of The Daily Show, Trevor Noah interviews Ali Wong, a stand-up comedian, actress, and now author. They discuss her rise to fame, her experiences as a woman in comedy, and the challenges she's faced. Wong shares about her new book, 'Dear Girls,' a collection of letters to her daughters, which is both humorous and raw, covering topics from her struggles in stand-up to dealing with sexism in the industry. The conversation highlights Wong's unique perspective on motherhood, her career, and the importance of sharing her story with a broader audience.

Takeaways

• 🎤 Ali Wong is a guest on The Daily Show, discussing her career and new book.
• 🌟 She has gained fame through her stand-up comedy and roles in movies.
• 📚 Her book, 'Dear Girls,' is a collection of letters to her two young daughters.
• 👨‍👩‍👧‍👧 The book is intended to share her life experiences and struggles with her children.
• 🎬 She mentions the challenges of being a woman in stand-up comedy, including safety concerns on the road.
• 🚗 Ali Wong discusses the reality of traveling with strangers in the early days of her career.
• 🤰 She addresses the sexism and reductionism she's faced, particularly during her pregnancies.
• 👨 Her husband wrote the afterword, providing insight into their relationship and his perspective on her comedy.
• 📖 The book is not just for her daughters but is also meant for women and men to read.
• 🎭 Ali Wong's experiences in comedy are relatable to many, offering a unique perspective on the industry.
• 🎉 She is currently on the 'Milk & Money Tour' and her book 'Dear Girls' is available for purchase.

Q & A

What is the name of Ali Wong's first book?

Dear Girls

Who is the intended audience of Ali Wong's book, 'Dear Girls'?

The book is initially written as letters to her two daughters, but it is also for women in general.

What was Ali Wong's profession before becoming a stand-up comedian and movie star?

The script does not explicitly mention her profession before comedy, but it does highlight her 'grind' and struggles before achieving success.

What was Ali Wong's father's profession?

Her father was a successful anesthesiologist.

What was the content of the letter Ali Wong's father wrote to her before he passed away?

The letter reflected on their relationship and how Ali had affected his life, but it was short, and Ali wished he had written more.

What is one of the challenges Ali Wong faced as a female stand-up comedian?

One challenge was the safety issue of going on the road and having to get into cars with strangers to test out material in different cities.

How did Ali Wong respond to a fellow comedian who tried to diminish her success?

She pointed out the numerous successful white comedians and told the fellow comedian to 'be a better white guy' and become funnier.

What is the title of Ali Wong's comedy tour?

The Milk & Money Tour

What does Ali Wong's husband do regarding the jokes she tells about him on stage?

He consults with her about the jokes, ensuring that their portrayal of him is accurate and fair.

What was the reaction of the audience when Ali Wong mentioned her husband's involvement in her comedy?

The audience cheered and applauded, showing their appreciation for the mutual respect and collaboration in their relationship.

Outlines

00:00

🎤 Welcome and Introduction to Ali Wong

The segment begins with Trevor welcoming Ali Wong to The Daily Show. They discuss her first-time appearance on the show and her career as a stand-up comedian and actress. Ali shares her admiration for Trevor and her experiences working in movies, including her interactions with Keanu Reeves. The conversation also touches on the challenges of being a woman in comedy, such as the safety concerns of going on the road and the misconceptions about her success.

05:00

📚 Ali Wong's Book 'Dear Girls'

Ali Wong discusses her first book, 'Dear Girls,' which is a collection of letters to her two young daughters. She explains the personal significance of the book, inspired by a letter her father wrote to her before he passed away. The book covers various topics, including her experiences in stand-up comedy and the challenges she faced as a woman in the industry. Ali also addresses the misconceptions about her success, such as being reduced to her race or gender, and shares her hopes for her daughters and the broader audience who will read her book.

Keywords

💡Stand-up comedy

Stand-up comedy is a form of comedy in which a comedian performs in front of a live audience, usually speaking directly to them. In the script, Ali Wong discusses her experiences in stand-up, highlighting the challenges and the grind required to succeed in this field. She mentions the safety concerns for female comedians, such as traveling alone late at night after shows.

💡Movie star

A movie star is an actor or actress who is famous for their roles in films and has a high level of recognition and popularity. In the context of the script, Ali Wong is referred to as a movie star, acknowledging her success in both stand-up comedy and film. This highlights her transition from a comedian to a more versatile performer.

💡Dear Girls

Dear Girls is the title of Ali Wong's first book, which is a collection of letters written to her two daughters. The book is a unique medium for her to share her experiences, thoughts, and life lessons with her children. It also serves as a platform for her to address broader issues faced by women, making it relevant to a wider audience.

💡Grind

In the context of the script, 'grind' refers to the hard work, persistence, and effort required to achieve success in one's career. Ali Wong uses this term to describe the challenges she faced before becoming a successful comedian and the importance of sharing these experiences with her daughters.

💡Safety issues

Safety issues in the script pertain to the concerns for personal security, particularly for women in the entertainment industry. Ali Wong discusses the risks associated with traveling alone late at night after stand-up comedy shows, which is a common requirement for comedians on the road.

💡Stereotypes

Stereotypes are widely held but oversimplified ideas about a particular group or type of person. In the script, Ali Wong addresses the stereotypes she has faced, such as being reduced to her race or gender as the reasons for her success, which she refutes by highlighting her hard work and talent.

💡Representation

Representation in media refers to the portrayal and inclusion of diverse groups of people, ensuring that various perspectives and experiences are reflected. The script touches on the importance of representation, as Ali Wong's experiences and stories in her book and stand-up comedy provide a voice for women and minorities in the entertainment industry.

💡Afterword

An afterword is a section at the end of a book, typically written by a different person from the author, that provides additional context or commentary. In the script, Ali Wong's husband contributes an afterword to her book, offering insight into their relationship and his perspective on her comedy.

💡Milk & Money Tour

The Milk & Money Tour refers to Ali Wong's comedy tour, which is a series of live performances where she shares her humor and experiences with audiences. The tour name is a playful reference to her experiences as a working mother and her focus on both family and career.

💡Success

Success in the script is defined by achieving goals, recognition, and personal fulfillment in one's career. Ali Wong's success is celebrated throughout the conversation, as she has made a name for herself in stand-up comedy, film, and now as an author.

Highlights

Ali Wong's first appearance on The Daily Show.

Ali Wong's rise in stand-up comedy and her transition to movies.

Ali Wong's experience working with Keanu Reeves in a movie.

Ali Wong's book, 'Dear Girls,' written as letters to her daughters.

Ali Wong's father's letter to her before he passed away.

Ali Wong's desire to share her struggles and hard work with her daughters.

Ali Wong's book is not just for her daughters but for women in general.

Ali Wong's experiences as a woman in stand-up comedy, including safety concerns.

Ali Wong's encounter with a comedian who inappropriately touched her belly while pregnant.

Ali Wong's response to being reduced to her Asian and female identity in comedy.

Ali Wong's husband's contribution to her book with an afterword.

Ali Wong's book, 'Dear Girls,' is available for everyone to read.

Ali Wong's upcoming Milk & Money Tour.

Ali Wong's humor and her impact on the comedy scene.

Ali Wong's candid and graphic storytelling in her book.

Ali Wong's discussion on the challenges and realities of being a woman in comedy.

Ali Wong's response to a fellow comedian's dismissive comments about her success.

Ali Wong's reflections on her career and the importance of sharing her journey.

Transcripts

Welcome to The Daily Show, Ali Wong.

Thanks, Trevor. It's my first time being here.

It is your first time being here.

-I feel like it's been... -(cheering, applause)

It's been way too long, 'cause, like, I watch everything you do

-and I'm, like, a giant fan. -Aww.

-And then I see you everywhere else and... -Oh, my God.

-You're, like, stalking me. Oh, my God. -(laughter)

No, but for real, congratulations

-on everything you've done. -Thank you.

I mean, like, we watched you blow up in stand-up,

which everyone loves, and then, the-the thing

that really brought me joy was just seeing how you kick ass

-in movies as well. -Oh, thanks so much.

You-you're a movie star now. You realize that, right?

Ooh! It was a-- it was, it was really fun

and I-I got to mack on those three fine-ass dudes

-That's true. That's true. -You watched the movie, right?

-(cheering, applause) -I know. -Yes.

It was like, "Who wrote this thing?

-Like, "Whose idea was this?" -Right.

-Yeah. -"Who was in charge?"

-Um... -You have Keanu Reeves fighting over you.

-(laughs): I know! -I mean...

And then he came to your show, didn't he?

He came to my show, uh, which was amazing.

He was so sweet, and he was, like, in such a good mood

-afterwards, too. -Right.

He was really smiley.

Um, yeah, it was the best.

Do people get confused, though, if-if, like,

Keanu Reeves plays your boyfriend in a movie,

and then they see him at your show,

isn't someone like, "Uh, I think it's real."

No. No one, no one th-- I mean, like, I'm cute or whatever,

-but no one thinks that he's really... -(laughter)

...wants to date me.

They were like, "That movie was straight-up fiction."

Like, all my friends were like, "Ali, uh, you're-you're cute,

but you ain't that cute."

Um, you have fans of your stand-up.

You have fans of your movies.

But a book is a very different medium

for us to engage Ali Wong in.

-Your first book. -It is.

And it's also an interesting style of book.

You've written this book, Dear Girls.

It's specifically written to your children.

Letters to my-my two daughters.

-Right. -I have two girls who, um,

are under the age of four.

And the first one was in that striped dress

-when I filmed, uh, Baby Cobra. -Mm-hmm.

And the second one's in the leopard dress.

And, um, they're very aware of it, too.

Like, they know which-which ones they were.

And, uh, I wanted to...

My dad wrote me this letter before he passed away.

And my real name is Alexandra,

and it started with "Dear Alexandra."

And he...

like, reflected a lot on our relationship

and how I had affected his life.

And, um, it was a short letter,

-and I love it so much. -Wow.

But I wish that he had written me more,

because after he passed, it was too late

to ask him all these questions about who he...

When he... When I was born, like,

he was already this successful anesthesiologist.

-Right. -And in the same way,

like, when my girls were born...

They only know me,

um, after I filmed those two specials,

and they don't know, like, what it took for me

-to get where I am and how I... -The grind before stand-up.

-Yeah. -The grind before. And I think that's so...

That's such an important life lesson they...

And I want them to know that I wasn't, you know...

That I struggled a lot

and that I had to work really hard, so...

It-it really is an interesting book,

because, you know, when-when...

when I first got the book, they were like,

"Oh, no, Ali wrote this for her two daughters."

And I was like, "Oh, this is gonna be, like,

-a cute, little, like, kids' book." -Oh, no.

And then she writes about, like, erectile dysfunction,

-like, that she experienced while living in New York. -Yeah.

-(laughing): Yeah, all this stuff. -Yeah, yeah.

And then I was like, "This is, uh..."

This is, like, it's very, uh...

It's graphic, and it's real.

-It's, like, it's very real. -Yeah.

Like, I'm assuming it's not for them now.

No! They're, like, reading, like...

They're watching Daniel Tiger. I hope they watch, like...

It's so... There's so much, like, dirty content in there

-that's, like, even more dirty than my specials -Yes.

that I hope that they watch the specials

long before they read the book.

Right. But, I mean, as much as it is for your daughters,

it really is for women in general.

That's what I... that's what I love about the book.

'Cause you're telling your story.

And, for instance, you share stories about stand-up comedy

that I would have never thought of

and have never experienced because I'm a man in stand-up.

So, for instance, you just talk about how much

you have to love stand-up as a woman when, like...

You talk about, like, going to...

Like, walking to your car at, like, 1:00 a.m. by yourself.

Yeah. I think the reason... I think a big reason

why there aren't more women who do stand-up...

It's not be... Getting on stage is the easy part.

That's the fun part, and being funny is the fun part.

But going on the... You have to go on the road

-to be a great stand-up -Right.

because you have to test out your material

in all these different cities

in front of all these different audiences.

And that's...

It's a safety issue.

I think that's why more women don't do it,

because when you go on the road,

the first day you go out, as you know,

you get into a car with four strangers.

-Always. Yes. -From your... from your...

-Yeah. -And it's crazy. You just, like, get into a car,

and I never met this person before.

-They could kidnap you. -Yes. It's, like...

-It's, like, a random thing. -And you're very kidnappable,

-but you could defend yourself. -Yes.

-(laughter) -But, no, but this is...

I mean, like, because, like, when we started

was before Uber, before any of that.

So, like, what would be funny

is you'd get to, like, a random town.

This would happen... Like, every comedian has this story.

You get to a random town,

you're performing in a random comedy club,

and then they just tell you, like, "Jim's gonna pick you up."

-Right. -And you're like, "Who's Jim?"

They're like, "He works with the club."

You're like, "At the club or with the club?"

-Yeah, there's no picture being sent to your phone. -And then...

-No, you don't know who Jim is. Yeah. -Some guy's coming

-in some, like, 1975 Toyota Corolla -Yeah.

that smells like the ghost

of, like, a dead comic's sperm.

And you're just like, "Wh-- Are you, like-- Is this for real?"

Yes. Every time you get in the car,

there's always-- there's always, like, it's--

you'd get in the car and the person's always,

"Oh, you can just throw that on the backseat."

-There's always something on the back -Oh, my God.

-that you have to throw. -There's, like, old Fritos

-and stuff. -Yes, yes. Yeah, yeah.

So, it-- I can imagine how unnerving that must be for you.

For a man, that's like, "Oh, this is gross,

-but so is my apartment. Who-- Whatever." -Yes. Right.

But for a woman, it's like,

"Am I gonna get killed?"

-Like, every time, you know, you think about that. -Right.

And it's, uh...

I-It was-- Like, I think about the days when I started,

and I would never want my daughters to go through that.

-You know? -You also talk about, like-like, just the journey

of-of your rise in comedy.

You know, you talk about your success,

the grind that came behind it.

But then you talk about, like, just the experiences

that you've had, where-where someone, you know--

many people, in fact-- tried to reduce you

to just, you know, your-your factors.

So they went, like, "Oh, you're getting--

-"You're successful just because you're Asian, -Oh, my God.

-"just because you're a woman, -There's, like-- Even now.

-just because you're pregnant." -They're just like--

There are so many-- There was a guy who--

I-I won't name names. He's not a very successful comedian,

so I don't even know if you would know who he was.

-No, I don't. (laughs) -But he came up to-- he came--

You wouldn't know. You're-you're out of there now.

Uh, but he, like, came up to me while I was pregnant

the second time, and he touched my belly

with his, like, fat, sweaty hand,

which is so gross to begin with. It's like--

I-It's like, why don't you finger me while you're at it?

This is so not okay. Like, just because I'm pregnant

-doesn't mean it's okay for you to touch my belly. -Right.

And he was like, "Oh, so this is your shtick?

This is, like, your thing now, right?" And I'm like--

I was like, "Getting pregnant is not rainbow suspenders.

It's not a shtick."

And then he was like, "You're so lucky, Ali,

"because you get all of this attention

'cause you're both a female and a minority."

And I was like, "Yeah, 'cause, you know, historically,

"that's always been the winning combo

"for recognition

-and success." -(cheering and applause)

-Oh, man. -And he was like...

and he was like, "You know what I mean.

Like me, I'm just another white guy."

And I was like, "Be a better white guy!

"There's so many successful-- There's, like--

"there's Jimmy Kimmel, there's Will Ferrell,

"there's Nick Kroll, there's John Mulaney.

"I can name, like-- I could go on this whole show for, like,

-"35 days, naming, like..." -We'll do, like, another show

-just of successful white comedians. -Yeah. (laughs)

-Just be a funnier white guy. Like, that's it. -Right.

So, um, the girls are gonna read the book.

Girls out there will read the book. Women can read the book.

Men can read the book, too, Trevor!

-I like that. I did. I did! -Yeah. -(cheering)

-Yeah. (laughs) -I did. I did.

-So, it's Dear Girls... -My-my husband

-wrote the afterword, too. It's very sweet. -Yes.

Yes, your-- He did. He wrote a beautiful thing about how, like,

you consult with him about the jokes

that you will tell about him onstage, which is really nice.

-I like that. That was really sweet. -Yeah. And what it's--

It was very sweet. And what it's like

to be married to me, you know? 'Cause people,

that's the number one question people ask him all the time.

'Cause they think I'm, like, standing up on a couch with,

like, a growing life-form inside of me,

just, like, screaming these, like,

very funny anecdotes at him all the time.

And he's like, "That's not, you know, how it is."

"That's not our life."

Um, Ali Wong, congratulations

-on another successful endeavor. -Thank you.

-Thank you so much. -Thank you for being on The Daily Show.

-Good to see you. -You can catch Ali on the Milk & Money Tour.

Dear Girls is available now for everybody.

Ali Wong, everybody.