Sadia Psychology: The Untold Truth About Attraction
Summary
TLDRThe transcript discusses the complexities of sexual compatibility and relationships. It suggests that men often become accustomed to certain sexual behaviors, which can lead to a preference for short-term or promiscuous partners. The conversation highlights the contrast between men who have had numerous short-term encounters versus those in long-term relationships, arguing that the latter tend to be more skilled at understanding and satisfying their partners. It also touches on the societal implications of these preferences, questioning the values and behaviors rewarded in modern relationships.
Takeaways
- đĄ The script discusses the idea that women who desire a lot of sexual variety may have underlying issues, suggesting that this behavior is not typically sustainable in long-term relationships.
- đ„ It highlights a potential issue where men become accustomed to certain sexual behaviors and may only find them in short-term or promiscuous relationships, which are not indicative of a healthy, long-term dynamic.
- đ The speaker points out that men might end up being sexually compatible with hyper-promiscuous women, which can lead to problematic relationships and a misunderstanding of what constitutes a fulfilling sexual connection.
- đ« The script argues against the idea that men who have had many short-term sexual encounters are necessarily good at sex, suggesting that this may actually indicate a lack of depth and understanding of a partner's needs.
- đ Research is mentioned to support the idea that men in long-term relationships tend to be better at understanding and satisfying their partners sexually, as they have the opportunity to learn and adapt over time.
- đ The importance of self-awareness and understanding one's own sexual preferences and behaviors is emphasized, as well as the potential negative impacts of porn addiction on sexual relationships.
- đ€ The script raises the question of whether men who have had many sexual partners are more likely to fall in love with women who are also promiscuous, and what this means for the type of relationships they form.
- 𧏠An evolutionary biology perspective is introduced to explain the different sexual strategies of men and women, and how this might influence modern dating and mating behaviors.
- đ¶ The discussion touches on the concept of 'testicle size' as an indicator of a species' mating habits, placing humans somewhere in the middle between monogamous and promiscuous species.
- đ©ââ€ïžâđš The speaker suggests that honesty about sexual desires and needs in relationships is crucial, and that men and women should be clear about what they are looking for to avoid misunderstandings and dissatisfaction.
- đ The script concludes with a call for more self-awareness and understanding of one's own and others' sexual behaviors, and the importance of aligning one's actions with one's stated desires in relationships.
Q & A
What does the speaker suggest about a woman who desires a lot of sexual variation throughout her life?
-The speaker suggests that a woman who desires a lot of sexual variation might have experienced some kind of damage, as it's more common for women to eventually settle down and desire consistency in their sexual relationships.
Why does the speaker believe that men might become accustomed to a certain way of making love?
-The speaker believes that men can become accustomed to a certain way of making love because they often only experience that kind of sexual behavior in short-term or casual relationships with promiscuous women, which can set a precedent for their expectations.
According to the speaker, why might men end up being sexually compatible with hyper promiscuous women?
-Men might end up being sexually compatible with hyper promiscuous women because these women are often the only ones who can maintain a high level of sexual variation and novelty, which men may crave but cannot sustain in long-term relationships.
What is the speaker's view on the promiscuity of women in the context of sexual relationships?
-The speaker suggests that promiscuous women have more leverage in sexual relationships because they have more men available to them, which can lead to men becoming more compatible with them, despite the potential negative consequences.
Why does the speaker argue that men who have had many short-term sexual encounters may not be good at sex?
-The speaker argues that men with many short-term encounters may not be good at sex because they lack the opportunity to learn and understand the preferences and needs of a single partner over time, which is crucial for sexual satisfaction in the long term.
What does the speaker imply about the relationship between sexual experience and the ability to please a partner?
-The speaker implies that having a reasonable amount of sexual experience can lead to better sexual compatibility and satisfaction, as it allows individuals to learn about different preferences and how to please a partner.
What is the speaker's opinion on the idea that men fall in love with women who are more promiscuous?
-The speaker suggests that men might fall in love with more promiscuous women because they are often better at sex due to their experience, but this can lead to a conflict with societal expectations of what constitutes a 'good woman'.
Why does the speaker believe that some men might develop a sociopathic approach to lovemaking?
-The speaker believes that some men might develop a sociopathic approach to lovemaking because they only seek short-term encounters that prioritize sexual novelty and variation over emotional connection and long-term compatibility.
What does the speaker suggest about the evolutionary differences between men and women in terms of sexual strategies?
-The speaker suggests that there are significant evolutionary differences in sexual strategies, with men being more focused on the immediate act of reproduction and women being more concerned with the long-term viability of a partner and the well-being of potential offspring.
How does the speaker view the importance of honesty in expressing sexual needs within a relationship?
-The speaker views honesty about sexual needs as crucial within a relationship, arguing that lack of communication can lead to misunderstandings and dissatisfaction, and that being open about desires can help both partners meet each other's needs.
Outlines
đ The Paradox of Sexual Compatibility and Monogamy
The first paragraph discusses the idea that women who desire a more adventurous sexual life may have experienced some form of damage, leading to a preference for short-term, casual relationships. It suggests that men accustomed to this style may struggle to find it in long-term commitments like marriage, as comfort and familiarity can lead to a woman's refusal to engage in certain sexual activities. The speaker argues that men might become 'sexually compatible' with hyper-promiscuous women, who are more sexually experienced and have more options, leading to a cycle of short-term relationships and dissatisfaction. The paragraph also touches on the notion that men who have not been influenced by porn and have had long-term relationships are more adept at understanding and satisfying women's sexual needs, as opposed to those who have numerous one-night stands and lack 'repeat customers.'
𧏠Evolutionary Perspectives on Sexual Behavior and Relationships
The second paragraph delves into the evolutionary biology of sexual behavior, contrasting the reproductive strategies of men and women. It posits that women have a 'detective agency' mindset when choosing a partner, assessing factors like resource access and trustworthiness, while men's primary concern is the potential for impregnation. The speaker uses the size of human testicles as an evolutionary clue to our level of promiscuity, placing humans in the middle of the spectrum between monogamous and polygamous species. The paragraph also addresses the idea that both men and women can become better at sex with experience, learning from each partner and developing a 'menu of treats.' However, it cautions against claiming to want a 'good woman' while actually rewarding promiscuity, and calls for honesty in what men truly value in a partner, suggesting that the lack of communication about sexual needs can lead to misunderstandings and dissatisfaction in relationships.
Mindmap
Keywords
đĄSettling down
đĄHyper promiscuous
đĄShort-term mating
đĄSexual compatibility
đĄPromiscuity
đĄOne-night stands
đĄLong-term relationships
đĄPorn addiction
đĄEvolutionary biology
đĄTesticle size
đĄHonesty in relationships
Highlights
The idea that women who desire a more adventurous sexual life may have underlying issues is presented.
Men may become accustomed to certain sexual behaviors, limiting their experiences to short-term or promiscuous relationships.
The challenge of maintaining sexual excitement in long-term relationships compared to short-term encounters.
The notion that promiscuous women have more sexual leverage due to a larger pool of potential partners.
The compatibility between men and hyper-promiscuous women based on extrinsic value.
The potential for men to develop a sociopathic approach to love due to sexual compatibility with promiscuous women.
The argument that women are more satisfied with men who have not been influenced by porn or short-term relationships.
The importance of long-term relationships for men to learn and understand what pleases women sexually.
The contrast between men who learn from variety of sexual experiences and those who learn from long-term relationships.
The evolutionary biology perspective on why men may be obsessed with the novelty of sex with different women.
The discussion on how men and women have different strategies for sexual and reproductive success.
The concept of 'inverted you' and the impact of sexual experience on men's preferences and behaviors.
The idea that both men and women can become better at sex through experience with different partners.
The potential for men to fall in love with women who are more promiscuous due to sexual compatibility.
The societal implications of men's sexual preferences and the impact on women's roles as partners and mothers.
The importance of honesty in communication about sexual needs and desires within relationships.
The disconnect between what men claim to want in a partner and their actual behaviors and preferences.
The role of self-awareness and understanding one's own sexual preferences and behaviors.
The discussion on the importance of defining what constitutes a 'good woman' in the context of relationships.
The observation that women who are 'wife material' struggle to find partners due to men's mixed messages.
The call for more transparency in what men truly value in women, beyond societal expectations or norms.
Transcripts
a woman that wants to be thrown around
for the rest of her life is probably
had some kind of damage
because it's usually they settle down
they want that here and there
but usually they settle down with it
the problem with that is
men get used to that way of making love
and they can only access that in either hyper
promiscuous women or in short term
casual relationships
you can't get that in a 20 year marriage all the time
because there'll be times where she's like
cause she's comfortable enough to say no
leave my hair alone today
so whereas they can't
they can only access that in really short term
really promiscuous women so
they end up being sexually compatible with women
who are hyper promiscuous
and when you're meeting a woman who's hyper promiscuous
she's gonna be 10 times more promiscuous than you
because she's got leverage
a promiscuous woman has far more men available to her
than a promiscuous man
they become compatible on this very extrinsic value
they become compatible
and then they end up losing her to that promiscuity
or they just look for short term mating
short term mating because
that's
the only woman that can maintain that kind of behavior
because she's only with you for a couple of months
and then she can do and then she leaves
so that it gets them
almost into a sociopathic way of making love
it's not actually what women find attractive
and the the thing is
they think they're learning all these skills and moves
but if you speak to women
they are far more satisfied with men
who have not watched porn
or been in long term relationships
compared to men who do short term
one night stance some men will be like
I slept with 100 girls this year
if you've slept with so many men again
I'm sorry so many women
and you've got loads of
one night stands behind your belts
that is an indicator you are not good at sex
the man that actually has more long term relationships
is far better and farm
and there's been so much research to support this
because you don't have any repeat customers
if you're just doing one night stands
so you don't learn anything about women
and you don't learn what pleases them
what doesn't please them
whereas men that have been in long term relationships
fewer women but been there with them longer
they learn how to read a woman's body
whereas porn addicts learn how to just reenact moves
and there's a complete difference in them
and women are looking for men who read her body
rather than somebody
who just read the script that they saw on Pornhub
take you into nuanced waters
everything you said makes total sense
for maybe the average person
somebody that doesn't have access to self awareness
whatever
going back to this idea of obsessed with vagina
experiencing more women for sure made me better at sex
even though some of them were very brief encounters
no repeat customers because
if one of them is honest with you about what they like
then sudden oh whoa
I never would have thought of that
that's really interesting
a little bit of feedback but that
doesn't that then also suggest
then women who've had more experience
are gonna be better at sex
almost certainly
and therefore how do men fall in love through sex
so they're gonna end up falling in love with women
who are more promiscuous
something breaks for me
with my personality on that train
so again
you're probably averages and I'm speaking to younger
I think generation that grew up on Instagram
and that is their preferences
and I haven't experienced loyalty in relationships
but if we are suggesting that
more experience leads to better sex
than men always
fall in love with the woman
that gives them the best sex
they're gonna fall in love with
the more promiscuous woman overall
in in the real world
that's who they're gonna be most attached to
and therefore what are we rewarding
and then we're complaining that women are so Liberal
and women are no longer mothers
and women it's because
you're falling in love
with the women that know how to handle you sexually
best rather than the women that know how to actually
give you a big good life best
interesting though if somebody can't figure that out
I worry a lot about them so this is an inverted you
so everything when you talk about this look
I am scared for people that I know and love
I've got a lot of young guys on the staff
and I don't know if they have my skill set
and would be able to we take it for granted
cause we would think it's common sense
it's not common sense unfortunately
it's really not common sense
and you'll know it's not common sense
by how much of a reaction I get when I say it
it's so common sense to us
that
you would think people would just scroll past my thing
and not even think twice about it
but
the fact that people will literally foam at the mouth
when I say it
means that it's unfortunately not common sense
isn't it bizarre that it's not common sense other
but so well if it's not common sense
let's give it to people
so this is gonna be an inverted you
in my Assumption from sexual experience yeah
zero is problematic and somewhere
I'm gonna put numbers on it
somewhere probably north of 25
I'm talking for guys
it's a lot there starts to be 25 is a lot
is it is it a lot or not a lot in this day oh
in this day and age it's probably not
but that to me is
is you're for sure gonna be on the side of
now we're we are
I mean you probably knew women somewhere around seven
eight
nine 10 and there you've had enough variety but anyway
if somebody got to 25
going back to this idea of obsession with vagina
nature squeezes your brain in a way you can't imagine
when you're having sex with a novel female
it's really unbelievable
now I love that I can talk to my wife about this
cause I'm like you just don't understand
there are few things that are as gripping as that
and what's well I can't speak for all women
but from a female perspective
there's nothing more for me
it would be nothing more traumatizing
than having to sleep with somebody in you
isn't that so weird it is from a
because I'm obsessed with evolutionary biology
it is not weird in the slightest
everything about evolution predicts that would be true
so in a world where you could die having kids
and I could impregnate somebody in four minutes
never see them again
and now I have a child that's out there somewhere
our strategies are just so different
so you have to develop a detective agency for a brain
anybody that hasn't read it
I highly encourage you read the book getting my kids
and they talk about this idea of the detective agency
so a woman has a detective agency
is this guy gonna be good
they can have access to resources
are my kids gonna be okay
yeah all that stuff can I trust him yeah
a guy is just like
am I gonna be able to get her pregnant
my climax thing yeah yeah
so very very different strategies
now guys are more likely to have a child than survives
if they also invest
at least for a short period of time
so we are by way of species
we are very much in the middle
so which you can tell about the size of testicles
I don't know if the audience cares about this
but so
humans have testicle size
and put some right in the middle
if we were very monogamous
we would have tiny tuskles
because we would not have them
there's certain gorillas that have tuskles
because they they basically hoard all the females
so they don't have to there's no sperm competition
whereas you get some animals
where they have gigantic testicles
cause they're just
everybody's having sex with everybody
and so they is tons of room competition
humans are somewhere in the middle
so anyway going back to this idea of the inverted
you a little bit of or no experience is bad
is you get a reasonable amount
it's good I would agree with you
I would probably morally I would disagree
but I guess in terms of empirical and stuff
I can agree I can understand why that
and I would say the same applies to women
as a body count increases
they learn something about male bodies from each man
a different preference and therefore
she comes with a menu full of treats for a man
and which is totally fine
but then just don't claim you want a good woman
claim you want an experienced woman
well we have to define what we mean by good woman
because here's the thing I work with men and women
I work primarily with men
but I have a lot of female clients
and
the only women that are struggling to find a partner
are ones that are actually wife material
you speak to a woman
who has no intention of settling down
who is a very good at warming sexual acts and stuff
she has no problem meeting men
he's constantly surrounded by men
so it's just the the message that men are giving online
is that they want good women
and stuff is not in line with their behaviour
and I just wish
there was more honesty
about what you truly want out of a woman
and once you give women that honesty
they know cause I know men who are saying
my wife
she just stopped having sex with me years and years ago
that's the primary thing and I was like
but have you mentioned this to her
have you said this to her
I said it once or twice joking
does that they like it to voice it
let's get it
so that lack of honesty about how important sex is
so many women will say oh
he never really spoke about it
I didn't know that he was so deprived
he would seem fine about it
they don't talk about their true needs
I get get it sounds predatory
but it's better to give women that information
than to hide it and mask it
and tell women no
we don't want promiscuous
we don't want this
but then they go through life thinking
that's what you truly want
but that's not what you're rewarding at all
so it's giving women a really
misinformation about how to actually attract a partner
what
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