How To Be Yourself - Become Your Authentic Self Right Now

Summary

In this video, Leo from actualized.org discusses the importance of being authentic and the challenges of overcoming people-pleasing tendencies. He delves into the reasons why individuals suppress their true selves and offers insights on how to embrace authenticity despite potential social costs. Leo emphasizes that seeking validation from others is not a path to true fulfillment and encourages viewers to recognize the sacrifices they make for approval, ultimately advocating for a life of self-expression and genuine happiness.

Takeaways

• 🌟 Authenticity is crucial for personal fulfillment and happiness. Leo emphasizes the importance of being true to oneself rather than living up to others' expectations.
• 🚫 Overcoming the fear of what others think is a significant step towards being authentic. Leo discusses the struggle of being a people pleaser and the need to stop caring excessively about others' opinions.
• 🤔 The script explores the reasons behind the difficulty of being oneself, such as negative beliefs and social conditioning that bury one's authentic self.
• 💡 Leo suggests that people who are comfortable being themselves often appear more grounded and less concerned with others' judgments.
• 🔦 The metaphor of a 'shining beacon' within each person is used to illustrate the authentic self that is often obscured by layers of conditioning and beliefs.
• 🔑 The mental image one has of how they appear to others is identified as a major obstacle to authenticity. This self-consciousness can be stifling and prevent self-expression.
• 💊 The script describes the pursuit of approval as a 'drug' that can be psychologically addictive and ultimately unfulfilling.
• 💔 The realization that seeking validation, love, sex, money, or approval from others will not lead to true inner fulfillment is a key insight.
• 🛑 Leo advises shifting the balance from being overly empathetic to others' opinions to a more self-expressive stance, without advocating for disregard of others' feelings.
• 📝 He encourages viewers to write down areas of life where authenticity might incur costs, to assess whether the current sacrifices are worth the pursuit of being genuine.
• 🔄 The final takeaway is the practice of mindfulness to observe oneself 'whoring out' in subtle ways, to become conscious of the moments when one is not being authentic for the sake of others' approval.

Q & A

What is the main topic of the video by Leo from actualized.org?

The main topic of the video is about learning how to be yourself and your authentic self, and overcoming the challenges of being a people pleaser and worrying about what others think.

Why does Leo suggest that people often bury their authentic selves?

Leo suggests that people bury their authentic selves because of layers of negative beliefs, limiting beliefs, social and religious conditioning, and bad parenting that cover the 'shining beacon' of their true selves, preventing their light from breaking through.

What does Leo mean by 'whoring yourself out' in the context of the video?

In the context of the video, 'whoring yourself out' means acting inauthentically, not being true to oneself, and sacrificing one's values and opinions to gain approval, love, money, or other perceived benefits from others.

What does Leo identify as the core reason people care about what others think of them?

The core reason people care about what others think of them, according to Leo, is because deep down they believe that others can offer something of true and lasting value, such as approval, which feels good and becomes a psychological need.

How does Leo describe the illusion of seeking happiness from external validation?

Leo describes the illusion as chasing after shallow things like approval, love, money, and assistance, which can never provide true inner fulfillment, and instead, one should seek happiness from within.

What is the practical exercise Leo suggests at the end of the video to help viewers become more self-aware?

Leo suggests a practical exercise where viewers write down a list of all the ways and areas in their life where being authentic might incur costs or create friction, and then to consciously observe themselves 'whoring out' and notice these behaviors without judgment over the next day.

What is the potential downside of being your authentic self according to Leo's discussion?

The potential downside of being your authentic self, as discussed by Leo, includes the possibility of people disliking you, losing relationships, or even facing professional consequences, as not everyone may react positively to your authenticity.

How does Leo define 'pretention' in the context of the video?

In the context of the video, 'pretention' is defined as holding back your true opinions and acting in a way that you believe will be perceived positively by others, rather than being true to who you are.

What does Leo argue is the key to personal fulfillment and success in life?

Leo argues that the key to personal fulfillment and success in life is to be your authentic self, as authenticity makes you magnetic and attractive, leading to more genuine relationships and opportunities.

What is the role of empathy in the discussion about caring too much about what others think, as presented by Leo?

Leo discusses that while empathy is important, being overly empathetic and reactive to what others think can be detrimental. It can lead to a loss of self and an excessive need for approval, which ultimately does not lead to true happiness or fulfillment.

What is the significance of the 'shining beacon' metaphor used by Leo?

The 'shining beacon' metaphor represents one's authentic self. Leo explains that when this beacon is covered by layers of negative beliefs and conditioning, it becomes obscured, preventing the individual from shining and being their true selves.