Communication Skills - The 6 Keys Of Powerful Communication

Summary

In this video, Leo from Actualized.org emphasizes the critical role of communication skills in personal and professional life, highlighting how poor communication can hinder success in relationships, work, and business. He outlines six key pillars for effective communication: assertiveness, authenticity, open-mindedness, empathy, clarity, and listening skills. Leo encourages viewers to identify areas for improvement and offers practical advice on enhancing these skills for a more fulfilling life.

Takeaways

• 😀 Communication skills are crucial for personal and professional success, impacting intimate relationships, job performance, and business management.
• 🔍 Assertiveness is key in communication; it ensures your message is taken seriously and you get what you want from interactions.
• 🌟 Authenticity is vital for effective communication; being true to yourself ensures your values are honored and your message is genuine.
• 🧠 Open-mindedness in communication allows for the consideration of diverse viewpoints, fostering more productive and inclusive discussions.
• 💡 Empathy is essential for building connections and understanding in communication, as it helps in relating to others' emotions and experiences.
• 📢 Clarity in communication ensures that the message conveyed is accurately received, preventing misunderstandings and misinterpretations.
• 👂 Listening is not just about hearing; it involves actively showing that you are engaged and value the other person's input.
• 🏋️‍♂️ Improving communication skills requires practice and focus on areas of deficiency, such as assertiveness, authenticity, or clarity.
• 💼 Professional settings demand clear and effective communication, often necessitating deliberate effort and practice beyond natural tendencies.
• 🌱 Continuous improvement in communication can lead to enhanced personal growth, better relationships, and a more fulfilling life.

Q & A

What is the main topic of the video by Leo from Actualized.org?

The main topic of the video is communication skills, focusing on how to improve them and the importance of effective communication in various aspects of life.

Why does Leo emphasize the importance of communication skills?

Leo emphasizes the importance of communication skills because lacking them can lead to problems in intimate relationships, work, managing employees, running a business, and overall life smoothness.

What are the six key points Leo suggests to become a good communicator?

The six key points Leo suggests are: assertiveness, authenticity, open-mindedness, empathy, clarity, and listening skills.

How does assertiveness play a role in effective communication?

Assertiveness ensures that one's message and intentions are taken seriously, allowing the communicator to confidently convey their message and achieve their desired outcome.

What does authenticity mean in the context of communication?

Authenticity in communication means being true to oneself, expressing one's own values and agenda honestly, and not merely conforming to social expectations or politeness.

Why is open-mindedness crucial for effective communication?

Open-mindedness allows one to consider alternative perspectives and ideas, fostering a cooperative dynamic and preventing the dismissal of others' viewpoints, which is essential for growth and effective communication.

How does empathy contribute to better communication?

Empathy creates a common ground by allowing individuals to understand and relate to each other's emotions, making the other person feel heard and valued, which enhances communication.

What is the significance of clarity in communication?

Clarity ensures that the message conveyed is accurately received and understood by the listener, preventing misinterpretations and ensuring the communicator's intentions are correctly perceived.

How does active listening demonstrate effective communication?

Active listening demonstrates effective communication by showing the speaker that they are being heard and understood, through actions like nodding, making affirming sounds, asking clarifying questions, and engaging in the conversation.

What advice does Leo give for improving communication skills?

Leo advises focusing on one or two of the six key points that are most challenging for the individual, setting a timeframe for improvement, and practicing these skills in various aspects of life.

What resources does Leo offer for further development in communication and personal growth?

Leo offers a newsletter and resources on Actualized.org, which provide weekly updates on personal growth, psychology, mindsets, strategies, and techniques for creating a passionate and successful life.

Outlines

00:00

🗣️ The Importance of Communication Skills

Leo from Actualized.org introduces the topic of communication skills, emphasizing their importance in various aspects of life, including intimate relationships, work, and business. He highlights how a lack of communication skills can lead to problems and suggests that good communication makes life smoother. Leo outlines six key points that are essential for becoming an effective communicator and hints at discussing these points in detail throughout the video.

05:01

💪 Assertiveness in Communication

The second paragraph delves into the first of the six key points: assertiveness. Leo explains that assertiveness is crucial for getting what you want from communication, as it involves confidently and persistently conveying your message. He contrasts this with being meek and how it can hinder one's ability to achieve desired outcomes. Leo uses the example of dealing with a hotel mix-up to illustrate the power of assertiveness and persistence in resolving issues.

10:02

🌟 Authenticity: Being True to Yourself in Communication

Leo discusses the second key point, authenticity, which is about being true to oneself in communication. He points out that many people hold back their true feelings to be polite or avoid conflict, which can lead to inauthentic communication. Authenticity requires self-awareness, clarity about one's values, and the courage to stand by them. Leo stresses that inauthentic communication can dilute the impact of one's message and lead to personal unfulfillment.

15:03

🧠 Open-Mindedness: Embracing Different Perspectives

The fourth paragraph focuses on open-mindedness, the third key point. Open-mindedness involves being willing to consider other perspectives and ideas, which is essential for effective communication. Leo warns against being dogmatic and closing oneself off to different viewpoints, as this can hinder communication and personal growth. He emphasizes that being open to others' ideas can lead to better understanding and more fruitful interactions.

🌱 Empathy: Understanding and Sharing Emotions

Empathy is the fourth key point discussed in the video script. Leo explains that empathy is vital for communication because it allows us to understand and share the emotions of others. He references the concept of mirror neurons, which enable us to feel what others are experiencing, thus fostering a sense of connection and cooperation. Leo suggests that empathy is particularly important in intimate relationships and can significantly enhance the quality of communication.

📢 Clarity: Ensuring Your Message is Understood

The fifth paragraph addresses clarity in communication. Leo states that effective communication is not about what you intend to say but what the other person understands. He stresses the importance of being clear, accurate, and easy to understand to prevent misinterpretation. Clarity is essential in various settings, from business to personal interactions, to ensure that messages are received as intended and to avoid potential problems.

👂 Listening: The Other Half of Communication

The final key point, listening, is explored in the last paragraph. Leo emphasizes that communication is not just about speaking but also about actively listening to others. He suggests that showing that you are listening through non-verbal cues and asking clarifying questions can make the other person feel heard and valued. Leo advises practicing active listening in various situations to improve communication skills and to build stronger relationships.

Keywords

💡Communication Skills

Communication skills refer to the ability to effectively express ideas, thoughts, and feelings to others using words, body language, and other forms of expression. In the video, the speaker emphasizes the importance of these skills in various aspects of life, including intimate relationships, work, and managing employees. The speaker suggests that lacking communication skills can lead to problems in these areas, highlighting the necessity to improve them for a smoother life.

💡Assertiveness

Assertiveness is the ability to express one's thoughts, feelings, and beliefs in an open and honest way, while respecting the rights of others. The video speaker identifies assertiveness as the first of six key points for effective communication. It is crucial because it allows individuals to stand up for their needs and desires without being overly aggressive or submissive. The speaker gives an example of dealing with a hotel reservation issue, where assertiveness can lead to a better outcome.

💡Authenticity

Authenticity is the state of being genuine, original, and true to one's own personality, spirit, or character. In the context of the video, authenticity is highlighted as a key aspect of communication. The speaker stresses the importance of being true to oneself in communication to ensure that one's values and beliefs are honored. Authentic communication helps in building trust and meaningful connections with others.

💡Open-mindedness

Open-mindedness is the willingness to consider new ideas, perspectives, or arguments without prejudice or preconceived notions. The video discusses this concept as a key component of effective communication, suggesting that being open to different viewpoints can lead to more productive and meaningful interactions. The speaker warns against being dogmatic, which can hinder communication and personal growth.

💡Empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another, often by imagining oneself in that person's situation. The video explains that empathy is crucial for communication because it helps create a common ground with the person you are communicating with. The speaker mentions the role of mirror neurons in empathy, which allows us to feel and understand the emotions of others, thus fostering better communication.

💡Clarity

Clarity in communication means expressing oneself in a way that is easily understood, leaving little room for misinterpretation. The video speaker argues that clarity is essential because communication is not about what you intend to say but what the other person actually receives and understands. The speaker advises focusing on clarity to avoid miscommunication and ensure that messages are conveyed as intended.

💡Listening Skills

Listening skills involve not only hearing the words another person is saying but also understanding the message and responding appropriately. In the video, the speaker emphasizes that listening is a critical part of communication, as it allows the other person to feel heard and valued. The speaker suggests being an active listener by nodding, making affirming sounds, and asking clarifying questions to demonstrate engagement.

💡Intimate Relationships

Intimate relationships refer to close, personal connections with others, often involving deep emotional and physical bonds. The video mentions that communication skills are vital in intimate relationships, as effective communication can enhance understanding, trust, and satisfaction within these connections. Poor communication, on the other hand, can lead to misunderstandings and conflicts.

💡Personal Development

Personal development refers to the process of improving one's character, skills, and knowledge to enhance one's life and well-being. The video speaker connects communication skills to personal development, suggesting that being open-minded and empathetic can lead to personal growth. Effective communication skills are presented as a tool for self-improvement and achieving one's goals.

💡Toastmasters

Toastmasters is an international organization that helps members improve their communication, public speaking, and leadership skills. The video speaker recommends joining Toastmasters as a way to practice and enhance one's communication abilities in a supportive and structured environment. This aligns with the video's theme of continuous improvement and practice in communication.

Highlights

Communication skills are crucial for personal and professional success.

Lack of communication skills can lead to problems in intimate relationships, work, and business management.

Good communication makes everyday tasks, like ordering at a restaurant, easier and more effective.

Communication is vital for marketing oneself, whether in a job resume or pitching a business proposal.

Assertiveness is the first key pillar of effective communication; it ensures your message is taken seriously.

Authenticity in communication means being true to oneself and one's values.

Open-mindedness allows for considering various perspectives and ideas, fostering more effective communication.

Empathy, supported by mirror neurons, helps in understanding and relating to others' emotions during communication.

Clarity in communication ensures that the intended message is accurately received by the listener.

Listening is an essential part of communication; active listening shows engagement and understanding.

Improving communication skills involves identifying and focusing on areas of weakness, such as assertiveness or clarity.

Practicing communication skills in various settings, from work to daily interactions, can lead to significant improvement.

Joining organizations like Toastmasters can provide opportunities to enhance public speaking and communication abilities.

The speaker offers a newsletter with weekly updates on personal growth, psychology, and strategies for life mastery.

The video aims to reignite passion and engagement in life, helping viewers get back on track with their goals.

Transcripts

hey this is Leo for actualized.org and

in this video I'm going to talk about

communication

skills all right so let's talk a little

bit about communication skills and what

it really takes to improve your

communication skills and how do you

become a good communicator before we go

into that and I'm going to give you six

six key points that you need to follow

to become a very effective and lethal

communicator but before we get into that

let's talk a little bit about why this

is even important why this is something

that you should be concerned about

communication skills is something that I

see ruining people's lives lack thereof

when you lack communication skills if

you lack communication skills you're

going to have a problem in your Intimate

Relationships if you have lack

communication skills you're going to

have a problem at your job at your work

if you lack communication skills you're

going to have a problem managing

employees or running a business if you

do that working with clients that's

something that's really big that I found

communication skills are important in

and overall in life having solid

communication skills is important to

make your life smooth just like little

things will work better for you when you

have good communication skills even

something as simple as like placing an

order at the restaurant placing a clear

order and doing it in a way where you

get what you want from the waitress or

the waiter and getting your way in life

this is much easier when you have solid

communication skills rather than when

you're you're unclear you're mumbly

you're not sure what you want you're not

assertive and you have all these other

problems so let's go into that and talk

about it communication skills are

something that you want to work on

because this is something that's going

to last for your whole life right as

your life goes on you're going to run

into people going to have problems

communicating you're going to have

problems writing you're even going to

have uh challenges with marketing

yourself whether you're selling yourself

in a resume format where you're pitching

yourself to new employers and you're

trying to get a better job or you're

selling some sort of business proposal

that you've got or maybe a product or a

service that you've created that you

really want to be successful and that's

important to to your purpose in life

well to do all those things effectively

you need to be able to communicate

effectively so let's talk about that

what does it really take to become a

good communic Ator I would say that

there are six pillars at least for me

that I sat down and I kind of thought

about okay what is it really what are

the essential components so here they

are I'm going to list them off and then

we're going to go into each one into

some detail and you're going to get some

clarity around that and then you can go

and work on whatever one of these six or

maybe more than one you are deficient

the most in so it's kind of like looking

at your sticking points where are your

communication skill sticking points so

here are the six number one is

assertiveness number two is authenticity

number three is open-mindedness number

four is empathy number five is Clarity

and number six is listening listening

skills so those are the six now let's go

and talk a little a little bit about

each one so first of all

assertiveness being a communicator and

the reason that you're communicating

anything at all is because you usually

want something to happen because of your

words or however communicating you can

communicate not just using words you can

communicate using body language and

imagery and other things but ultimately

you're trying to convey some sort of

message have some sort of impact so a

lot of people they will communicate

things but then they don't get what they

actually want with the communication

because their communication is not

assertive they're not really pushing for

their own agenda they're not sticking to

their guns so then they end up not

getting what they want maybe this is

happening to you in a relationship maybe

this is happening to you in a debate

maybe it's happening to you in office

meeting or somewhere else in your life

right you have to be

assertive you have to be assertive that

means that you can't be a doormat you

can't just let other people impose their

agenda upon you your communication has

to be such that people perceive it as as

serious that way they take your words

and your language seriously and they

take your intentions and your ideas

seriously so this is something that is

very important you have to know how to

be confident in your

delivery not not just that but also be

insistent and

persistent right like I know people

friends of mine who are really really

good at this personally I've struggled

with assertiveness myself I was always

kind of

Meek in the way that uh that I would

interact with people and I still am to a

certain degree I've worked on it a lot

but this kind of meekness really holds

you back because a lot of times you'll

want something simple and you won't be

able to get it simply because you give

up before your message has been

delivered and sometimes your message has

to be repeated and repeated and repeated

persistently until you get what you want

it could be just a very simple thing

like maybe you go to a hotel and they

don't have your room for some reason

they sold your room to somebody else and

now you need to you need a room for the

night so basically what can you do well

you can just accept it as it is maybe

ask them about why they screwed up your

reservation then accept it or you can be

assertive you can be persistent you can

get the manager to come out you can get

his manager to come out you can kind of

Pummel away at the problem until maybe

some something clicks and something

happens and you'd be surprised how how

often something like that where you're

being assertive and being assertive

sometimes just some sort of spontaneous

solution presents itself whereas if you

were Meek then you would have just been

hit you would have taken that hit and

you wouldn't have ultimately gotten what

you wanted out of the situation so

assertiveness is important the next

point is point number two authenticity

authenticity is critical authenticity is

about being true to

yourself how often are you true to

yourself in Comm your

communication uh if you're like most

people then what most people do do is

they hold back they want to be polite

they want to be curious they they don't

want to offend somebody and they'll do

anything to to make the the the

transaction the verbal transaction go

well the communication go

well and they won't really worry about

whether they're being honest and true to

themselves whether their own values are

being honored here in this

situation to do that you have to first

of all know what your authentic actually

is so you have to kind of be clear about

your own values you have to know about

what your own agenda is and what you

want out of life and what is true and

what is not true for you you have to

know where the boundaries are and then

you have to have the courage to go out

there and and fight for that because

being authentic that's not something

that comes spontaneously to most people

for most people that takes effort and

work because we've always been taught

and been conditioned to be polite and to

put this big smile on our face and uh

you know that can be fine in some

situations and that will hold certain

situations over but in the long run it

doesn't work in the long run people see

that they can see right through your

inauthenticity and when you are

communicating with someone who's

inauthentic you can clearly feel it off

that person and so his message and his

ideas they get diluted they don't have

the power that they want to have but not

only that but the person who's doing

that communication who's being

inauthentic here she is uh is ultimately

unfulfilled with him or herself so

that's why authenticity is critical

number three is openm mindedness you

have to be open-minded when you're

interacting with other people open n

this means that you're willing to

consider other

perspectives alternative scenarios and

ideas don't close your mind off to

alternate points of view because you

will be coming into contact with many

people in your life and their points of

view might be very different than your

own and a lot of times our gut reactions

to say no that's not something that I'm

interested in that's not something I

want that's clearly wrong that's that's

awful whatever and you judge and you

criticize and you draw a basically a

wall between yourself and the other

person or his ideas and when that

happens then there's that wall there's

that wall between you two and so no

effective communication can happen if

all you're doing is just being very very

insistent on your own points of view

being very dogmatic and grounded on that

but then you're not willing to consider

other perspectives

well other people are not going to want

to communicate with you you're going to

be a very stubborn person people will

label you as such and then they'll try

to avoid you because who wants to be in

that kind of environment who wants to

communicate with someone like that

people want to communicate with somebody

who's willing to listen to them to

consider their ideas not just in a

superficial way but honestly like there

should always be a chance for that other

person to convince you of their

ideas so if someone is talking to you

and even if you don't like what they're

saying you you can still stay there and

listen and entertain an idea just

because you're intelligent and you're

willing to entertain various ideas that

are NE not necessarily your own and that

doesn't mean you have to adopt them but

you can entertain them you can play

around with them and then once in a

while you actually do adopt one it's

actually something that's very critical

and important to your own personal

development because if uh if you're not

taking on this kind of open receptive

mindset then that means that you are uh

you're kind of stuck in your own place

you're stuck in your own beliefs and

your own ideas not only is it going to

create communication problems it's just

going to limit your growth as a human

being ultimately you're hurting yourself

by doing that so open-mindedness is very

important the fourth point four the

fourth point is empathy empathy is very

important for communication in fact

human beings we have and this has been

uh studied by neuroscientists we have

what are called mirror

neurons mirror neurons what they are are

their specialized neurons in the brain

and what they do is they allow us to

have empathy with other human beings and

even other creatures so for example we

can see maybe someone like a friend of

ours or a spouse of ours walking across

the room and stubbing let's say her toe

on on the on the coffee

table and so she stubs her toe on the

coffee table and when I look at that I

winse I go uh right because I see the

pain in her face I see her grabbing her

toe and I'm wincing because I I feel the

pain literally in my own brain and those

are my mirror neurons firing off and

what the mirror neurons allow us to do

is they literally allow us to to

experience the emotions that we would

have experienced if we were in that

situation but we're not right when I'm

seeing someone stub their toe on the

coffee table I'm not in that situation

but I'm seeing it and I'm imagining it

and now I'm actually feeling the pain of

it a little bit not as much but a little

bit of that pain I actually feel that's

what makes my face scrunch up and wins

so those are the Mir Rons happening

that's empathy now why is empathy

important for communication well the

other person wants to feel like they're

being heard and they're being

understood empathy creates a common

ground when you can empathize with the

person that you're communicating with

that person will feel like oh okay he

gets me she understands where I'm coming

from okay she's just like me we have

common ground let's communicate let's

see kind of like where this goes and it

come it it it creates this kind of a

Cooperative Dynamic whereas if you have

no empathy for the other person and you

don't understand their emotions you

can't relate to their emotions they will

sense that off of

you and they will think well this this

guy or this girl uh she doesn't know

anything about me he doesn't know my

problems and my

challenges so how can how can I listen

to him how can I listen to her her

message is not going to resonate with me

because she has very different

experiences very different for me and so

there's now this this this gulf of

Separation if you notice a lot of my

videos I talk about a lot of the

problems that you have when I start off

a video I start talking about a problem

and I talk about the emotions of it

that's because I want to build empathy

and I don't just just do that to kind of

curtsy favor with you I do that because

a lot of times I've come and I've

experienced those negative places that

I'm talking about right so if we're

talking about some sort of negative

emotion uh or some sort of negative

situation in life that you're trying to

fix

well I've had those situations in my

life and now I can use those and I can

build a common ground between us so that

you'll be more receptive to what I'm

saying so empathy is going to get you a

very long way in your communication

skills especially in Intimate

Relationships empathy is very

important the next point this is point

number five now is

Clarity communication needs to be

clear there's an old idea I don't

remember where I got this from but I

think it's a classic idea that

communication is not what you meant to

say but it's what the other person

received so a lot of times we'll think

that we said something and then the

other person will hear our words hear

our message and then do something else

or believe something else other than

what we

intended well here by this more rigorous

uh standard of judging our communication

what we really want to say is that

whatever the person hears and

understands that's what was really

communicated now what we intended so

Clarity is all about getting your

intention in line with what the other

person actually perceives the best type

of communication is extremely clear it's

accurate it's easy for other people to

understand what is being

meant it's not Loosey Goosey and

nebulous and too abstract which allows

for many many types of

interpretation Clarity is very important

because if you're not clear in your

communication then what you're

communicating will get misinterpreted

and then people will start doing things

that you didn't really intend them to do

they'll start believing that you believe

things that you didn't actually believe

this can create problems in your

business this can create problems when

you're giving instructions to people to

do things this can create problems with

just very simple things like you tell

your kids you call your kids on the

phone you tell them to uh to do

something very specific and if you don't

say it clearly in the right way then

they won't do it they'll do what they

want to

do so Clarity is something that you need

to work on if you have problems where

people are misperceiving what you're

telling them

then maybe it's not them but it's you

and the way that you're communicating

you're not articulating yourself

accurately and the last point point

number six is listening so communication

just talking and talking and talking it

doesn't really work unless you also hear

back right as I said before people want

to want to feel like they're being

listened to they don't they don't want

to just be talked at they have to be

listened and listening is not just about

opening your ears a lot of times it's

just as simple as opening your ears but

you have to also let the other person

know that you're listening to them and

they they were heard so for example just

like very simple little things being an

active listener what that means is

nodding your head when you're standing

there and you're listening to somebody

nodding your head so that they're

registering it saying mm once in a while

mm oh I see okay oh interesting point so

making little comments like that asking

questions clarifying questions about

what said so the person feels like

you're actually listening and you're

engaged and you want to know

more those are those are very critical

those are very critical when you're

sitting down face to face with somebody

especially when the stakes are high when

the issue is Big you need to let the

other person know that you're actually

listening to them and hearing them and

you have to actually want to do

that okay so if these are the six

pillars now you have to ask yourself if

you have trouble with communication

skills or you want to improve which one

of these

six are the one or two that are really

holding you

back that are causing you the most

friction in your

Communications is it assertiveness

authenticity lack of

open-mindedness lack of

empathy lack of clarity or lack of

listening pick one or two of those and

then say okay I want to improve that I

want to work on that I'm going to devote

the next 30 or 60 or 90 days really

focusing on that and looking for ways

that I can improve let's say let's say

you want to improve your Clarity I'm

going to look at ways that I can improve

my clarity how can I write more clear

emails how can I give more clear

presentations at work what does that

mean do I have to study do I have to

read some books do I have to take some

notes do I have to do I have to spend

more time preparing for my presentation

do I have to do do I have to maybe get

feedback from my boss in a way that I

haven't been getting before do I have to

maybe learn some new vocabulary maybe I

have to simplify down my vocabulary

instead of being all high futin and

trying to be sophisticated maybe I

should just boil my vocabulary down to

something very simple where people can

actually understand what I'm saying

rather than trying to impress them with

my big uh use of fancy

words so that would be a way that you

could work on Clarity and you can do

this for all the other ones as well and

then practice practice at work practice

in your intimate relationship practice

at uh even like very simple places when

you're going out and you're ordering a

coffee at the Starbucks practice there

as you're chatting with the the cashier

you can practice all these things all

the time throughout your life and the

more you interact with people then the

better and better and better you get at

this but I think that it's important to

put your attention on it because a lot

of people they'll just assume that

communication well that's something that

just kind kind of comes naturally I

don't really need to work on it well if

you are any any kind of professional

setting then you know that it takes uh

it takes actual work in practice to get

really good at communication and you can

join organizations like Toastmasters and

and maybe volunteer to do more types of

public speaking other types of things at

your at your job in order to become a

better

Communicator okay this is Leah I'm

signing off this is how to improve your

communication skills go ahead and post

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