Developing A Competing Interest | Episode 009 Video Game Addiction

Summary

The video script addresses the issue of gamers feeling directionless and powerless in life, contrasting the false sense of progress in gaming with the lack of real-world achievement. It emphasizes the importance of distinguishing between desires and values, asserting that true values are what drive behavior and provide fulfillment. The speaker suggests introspective exercises to identify personal values, which can lead to automatic motivation and a change in behavior, ultimately helping gamers to develop a meaningful direction in life.

Takeaways

• 🎮 Gaming can give a false sense of direction and progress, which may not translate to real life satisfaction.
• 🔄 The feeling of being directionless is a common struggle among gamers, leading to a sense of powerlessness in life.
• 💡 To develop a real direction in life, it's important to distinguish between desires and meaningful interests based on personal values.
• 🏆 Many gamers value performance in games, which can drive behavior but may not necessarily lead to overall life fulfillment.
• 🤔 Gamers often lack introspection and the ability to reflect on their thought processes due to the immediate feedback provided by games.
• 📝 Writing down experiences of fulfillment can help clarify personal values and is a recommended exercise for self-reflection.
• 🌟 Values are what truly motivate behavior and provide a sense of fulfillment, unlike mere desires which are more ephemeral.
• 💭 The process of identifying values often requires externalizing thoughts onto paper to gain a clearer perspective on what truly matters.
• 🚀 Once values are clarified, motivation tends to arise naturally, propelling individuals towards meaningful action.
• 🛑 The script emphasizes the importance of not relying solely on thought, but taking action to write down and reflect on personal values.
• 🧘‍♂️ The concept of Dharma, or duty, is hinted at as a potential topic for further exploration in the next part of the discussion.

Q & A

What is the main issue that gamers feel according to the transcript?

The main issue that gamers feel is a sense of powerlessness and directionlessness, where they struggle to find meaning and progress in their lives outside of gaming.

How does gaming provide a false sense of direction?

Gaming provides a false sense of direction through the structured progression of levels, character upgrades, and game achievements, which gives the illusion of advancement but lacks real-life impact.

What is the difference between desires and values as discussed in the transcript?

Desires are what one wants, like material possessions or experiences, and they may not drive behavior. Values, on the other hand, are what one cares deeply about and feels fulfilled by, which can motivate and drive behavior.

Why do gamers play to the point of exhaustion before going to bed?

Gamers play to the point of exhaustion to avoid the terrifying feeling of realizing they haven't made real progress in life, as the sense of progress from gaming doesn't translate to real-life accomplishments.

What is a competing interest and how does it relate to values?

A competing interest is an activity or goal that is driven by one's values and provides a sense of fulfillment. It competes with gaming for attention and time, offering a more meaningful direction in life.

What exercise is suggested in the transcript to help clarify one's values?

The exercise suggested is to write down in 500 words about a time when one felt fulfilled, which helps in reflecting on what truly matters and brings about a sense of fulfillment.

Why is it important to write down one's thoughts on fulfillment instead of just thinking about it?

Writing down thoughts provides an external source of reflection, allowing for a more objective look at one's strategies and thought processes, which gamers often lack due to the immediate feedback provided by games.

How does the concept of Dharma mentioned at the end of the transcript relate to the discussion on values?

Dharma, which means duty, can be seen as a form of value that drives one's actions and provides a sense of purpose, aligning with the idea that understanding and acting on one's values can lead to meaningful behavior change.

What is the role of motivation in the context of this script?

Motivation is presented as an automatic response to understanding and clarifying one's values. It is what drives behavior and helps individuals move towards what they truly care about, as opposed to desires which may not lead to action.

How does the script suggest that gamers can get control over their gaming habits?

The script suggests that gamers can get control over their habits by developing a competing interest, which involves understanding and acting on their values, thus providing a more meaningful direction in life.

What is the common mistake that gamers make when trying to understand their values, according to the transcript?

The common mistake is assuming they can think through the values exercise in their head without writing it down, which the script advises against due to the gaming-shape of the brain that relies on external feedback.

Outlines

00:00

🎮 Finding Direction in Life Through Gaming

In this paragraph, the speaker addresses the common issue among gamers of feeling powerless and directionless. They explain that while gaming provides a false sense of progress, it doesn't translate to real-life achievements, leading to a sense of emptiness. The speaker suggests that the first step to finding a true direction in life is to differentiate between desires and meaningful interests. They emphasize the importance of identifying values that genuinely fulfill individuals, rather than just desires that are ephemeral. The speaker uses the example of competitive gamers who value performance in games, illustrating how understanding one's values can drive behavior and motivation.

05:02

📚 Clarifying Values to Motivate Action

The speaker continues by discussing the practical steps to identify personal values. They recommend writing down a detailed account of a time when one felt truly fulfilled, as a way to reflect and gain clarity on what truly matters. The speaker points out that gamers often lack the ability to reflect on their thought processes due to the immediate feedback provided by games, which can hinder self-awareness. By externalizing thoughts on paper, individuals can objectively analyze what they value and why they felt fulfilled. The speaker asserts that once values are clarified, motivation will naturally arise, driving behavior towards meaningful goals. They caution against merely thinking about values internally, as this can be less effective due to the influence of gaming on the brain.

10:02

🌏 Exploring the Concept of Dharma

In this brief paragraph, the speaker teases the upcoming discussion on the concept of Dharma, which they describe as 'duty'. They suggest that this Eastern concept will be explored further in the continuation of the talk, hinting at a deeper dive into understanding one's purpose and responsibilities in life. This sets the stage for a potentially philosophical and cultural exploration of values and motivations.

Keywords

💡Competing Interest

A 'competing interest' in the context of the video refers to an activity or pursuit that can rival the time and attention one gives to gaming. It is something that provides a sense of fulfillment and direction outside of gaming. The video emphasizes the importance of identifying and developing such interests to help gamers find a sense of purpose and progress in life, which they might be missing, as gaming can offer a false sense of direction.

💡Powerless

The term 'powerless' is used to describe the feeling of gamers who lack control over their lives and feel unable to achieve their goals. In the video, it is suggested that this sense of powerlessness is a common issue among gamers, who may feel trapped in a cycle of gaming that does not contribute to their personal growth or life direction.

💡Directionless

'Directionless' is a key concept in the video, illustrating the feeling of not having a clear path or purpose in life. It is related to the idea that gamers may feel stuck, without a sense of progression or achievement outside of their gaming experiences. The video discusses how feeling directionless can be one of the most challenging emotions for gamers to deal with.

💡False Direction

The concept of 'false direction' is introduced to describe the temporary sense of progress that gamers feel through gaming levels and character upgrades. This term highlights the contrast between the in-game progress and the lack of real-life advancement, which can lead to feelings of emptiness and dissatisfaction once the gaming session ends.

💡Desire

In the video, 'desire' is contrasted with 'values' and is described as something one wants but may not necessarily act upon. Desires are fleeting and do not inherently motivate behavior. For example, a gamer might desire to be a millionaire or travel internationally, but these desires alone do not drive them towards achieving these goals.

💡Values

'Values' are defined in the video as the principles or beliefs that guide one's actions and provide a sense of fulfillment when pursued. They are distinguished from desires in that they are deeply held and motivate behavior. The video suggests that understanding and clarifying one's values is crucial for developing a competing interest to gaming.

💡Fulfillment

The term 'fulfillment' is used to describe the deep sense of satisfaction and accomplishment that comes from aligning one's actions with their values. In the context of the video, identifying activities that lead to fulfillment can help gamers develop interests outside of gaming that provide a more meaningful sense of progress and achievement.

💡Introspection

Introspection is the process of self-reflection and examination of one's own thoughts and feelings. The video encourages gamers to engage in introspection to identify their values, which can lead to the discovery of competing interests. This process is essential for understanding what truly motivates and fulfills them beyond gaming.

💡Motivation

In the video, 'motivation' is discussed as an automatic response to identifying and aligning with one's values. It is not something that is forced through willpower but rather a natural drive that propels action. The video emphasizes that once gamers understand their values, motivation to pursue competing interests will arise organically.

💡External Feedback

The concept of 'external feedback' refers to the immediate responses or outcomes that gamers receive from the games they play, which inform them whether their strategies work or not. The video points out that because gamers are used to receiving such feedback from games, they may lack the ability to reflect on their own thought processes, making the act of writing down and analyzing their feelings of fulfillment crucial.

💡Dharma

Although not fully discussed in the provided transcript, 'Dharma' is mentioned as a concept that will be explored in the continuation of the video. In Eastern philosophy, Dharma often refers to one's duty or purpose in life. It suggests a moral or ethical responsibility that aligns with the video's theme of finding a meaningful direction beyond gaming.

Highlights

Gamers often feel powerless and directionless in life, which contrasts with the false sense of progression provided by video games.

The false sense of direction in gaming can lead to feelings of emptiness and fear, causing gamers to play excessively to avoid confronting these feelings.

Understanding the difference between desires and meaningful interests is crucial for developing a genuine direction in life.

Desires are ephemeral and do not motivate behavior effectively, unlike values that drive action and fulfillment.

Values are identified by reflecting on activities that make one feel fulfilled and are distinct from mere desires.

Competitive gamers often value performance in games, which can be a driving force for their behavior.

Introspection is key to uncovering values that are not immediately apparent and can lead to a more fulfilling life.

Writing down experiences of fulfillment can help clarify values and is a recommended exercise for self-reflection.

Gamers may lack the capacity for self-reflection due to the constant external feedback provided by games.

Externalizing thoughts on paper is essential for gamers to gain self-awareness and reflect on their values.

Once values are clarified, motivation arises naturally and can lead to significant life changes.

Motivation is not a matter of willpower but an automatic response to understanding one's values.

The concept of Dharma, or duty, will be explored in the continuation of the discussion, suggesting a deeper exploration of values and purpose.

Gamers are encouraged to engage in exercises that reveal their true values to counteract the numbing effect of gaming.

The speaker emphasizes the importance of writing down reflections rather than just thinking about them due to the shaping influence of games on the brain.

The process of identifying and clarifying values is presented as a practical step towards gaining control over gaming habits and finding a meaningful direction in life.

Transcripts

now we're gonna dig into a little bit of

how to find that competing interest so

one of the problems that a lot of gamers

feel is when I talk to them they feel

powerless like they feel like they can't

get control over their lives they feel

like they have things that they want to

do in life and they're just not able to

do them but the deeper thing that

affects a lot of gamers is that a lot of

y'all actually feel not just powerless

but directionless you feel like you're

not moving anywhere in life it's not

just about not being able to move it's

about not even knowing where you want to

go and feeling directionless is one of

the worst feelings that a gamer can

possibly have and one of the problems

with gaming is that gaming gives you the

sense of false direction if you think

about a video game there's a sense of

progress right you go to this world and

then you do this level and then you go

to this other world and you do this

level you level your character up you go

to the later stages of the game so

there's this there's the sense of

progress and as human beings we are

wired to want to progress in some way

the problem is that that sense of

progress that you get through the game

while it sort of scratches the itch of

progressing in a temporary way when you

go to sleep at night you feel like you

haven't really done anything and I mean

that can be one of the most terrifying

feelings in the world and that's why

gamers play to the point of exhaustion

before they go to bed so how is it that

you can start to develop a direction in

life I think the first thing that you

have to do is understand the difference

between doing something with meaning and

doing something that is a desire so what

I mean by that is if I ask a game or

like where do you want to be ten years

from now most of the answers that they

come up with are actually desires

they're not actually true interests

they're not things that they value so

I'll give you an example so if I ask

someone you know where do you want to be

in ten years they'll say like oh you

know I'd like to be a millionaire like

I'd like to have my own house you know

I'd like to be married I'd like to you

know travel internationally and go to

video game tournaments they'll say like

all this kind of stuff and that's just

those are just kind of desires they're

just like

it's just like stuff you want right you

can go down the street and you can ask

anyone like what do you want and they'll

be able to tell you all kinds of stuff

but desires don't actually really Drive

your behavior they don't motivate you

and you may think that they motivate you

but they really don't because if they

did motivate you then you'd be moving

towards those goals right so by

definition that random stuff that's kind

of ephemeral and and

out in the ether that stuff that you

want those kinds of desires are the

kinds of things that it would be nice if

I had that that's really what that

thought is it's not really a true desire

stuff that motivates you some stuff that

actually gets you out of your out of the

chair and gets your ass moving in a

direction is what I call a competing

interest and those competing interests

depend on values and so what is a value

values are something that when you move

in that direction you feel fulfilled so

the first question that I would ask

gamers is what makes you feel fulfilled

what is it that actually gives you a

sense of like wow I really did something

good today what is it that makes you

feel like you've got the biggest dick on

the planet what is that thing that

really makes you feel like man I am

awesome and the funny thing is that a

lot of gamers that I talk to what they

actually value is performance in the

game and that may not be what you want

to value but let's just be clear let's

be honest with ourselves about what you

care about a lot of the gamers that I

work with are actually competitive

gamers and they want to be like on the

top 100 of the ladder and they want to

like compete and they want to be the

best in the game and that's actually

what they care about that's what they

value which is why they practice so hard

day after day after day you can see how

when you really understand that the

value is to be the best person in the

game it drives behavior on its own and

you may say well then I'm because

like if I value playing video games then

how can I move forward in life doesn't

that just mean I'm gonna play a bunch of

video games yes that's kind of true but

the good news is that gamers have a lot

of people actually have a lot of values

that they're not even aware of and this

is where introspection comes into play

this is where as a

or what you can actually sit down and do

is a series of exercises to figure out

and clarify what your values are and

when you start to recognize your values

when you start to say like oh actually

this is something that I care about I

want to do this this is something that's

really important to me the motivation

will follow that clarification of values

the motivation actually kind of comes

automatically for example let's say that

here in this this Hall you know like

someone walks in with a gun and then

starts like shooting at people like

that's awful and that's been happening

in a lot of schools which is absolutely

crazy if you look at what those people

do they actually value their lives right

like like the students in schools that

get shot up value their lives which is

why they try to preserve them it's

something that's really important to

them it sounds kind of silly and stupid

but if you think about it what motivates

that person what motivates someone to

escape death is just a value for life

and that's a really powerful motivator

and it's one of the most powerful

motivators you can have the neat thing

is that if you can figure out values

outside of just a preservation of life

which most biological beings have you

can also find motivation that'll make

you move forward in life so the way that

I'd say so let's talk a little bit

practically how do you figure out what

your values are so I'd start by you know

grab a piece of paper and write down

like in one-page like write 500 words

about a time where you felt fulfilled

actually sit down and do the exercise

and this is really important because

gamers tend to think a lot but they

actually don't aren't good at reflecting

or criticizing their own thought process

and if you think about this this is a

little bit tangential but when you play

a game a gamer comes up with an idea of

what's gonna work and then they go into

the game and then they get told based on

the game whether the idea works or not

right like let's say I have a strategy

to take down a boss and when I go in

with in with that strategy the reason I

know the strategy works or doesn't work

is because the game actually tells me I

don't have to reflect on my thought

process or my strategy myself because

the game is gonna provide me with the

feedback

and since gamers spend so much time

coming up with strategies but have an

external source of feedback on what they

come up with they don't develop the

capacity to reflect and objectively look

at their strategies even though you guys

think you're able to do that you're

actually not very good at that so what

you need to do is use that get some

external source of feedback by putting

it on a piece of paper so write down in

500 words on one piece of paper what

makes you feel fulfilled and when you do

that then you'll have the ability it'll

be on a piece of paper it'll be external

and then you can look at it you can read

it and then you can reflect on it and

when you do that try to figure out okay

what is what is it that I really care

about that I've written here why did I

feel fulfilled what is it about me that

big why does this make me feel fulfilled

and then you'll start to get a

clarification of what your values are

and once you start clarifying what your

values are the neat thing is that the

motivation will come kind of on its own

and we've talked a little bit about

motivation and how motivation is not

willpower right like when I when I

really need to take a I'm motivated

to find a bathroom that has nothing to

do with willpower it's not like I'm

forcing myself to use the bathroom in

fact you need willpower to restrain

motivation because to not in my

pants right now I actually need to use

my willpower to like you know keep my

anus puckered tight and not myself

and so that requires energy but the

motivation to find a bathroom is

automatic and is gonna drive my behavior

so when you find your values when you

clarify what your values are you guys

will be amazed the motivation is gonna

come on its own and then your life will

start to change but don't fall into the

trap that most gamers fall into which is

that I don't need to do this exercise I

can just think through it in my head I'm

telling you guys you can't do that you

actually need to externalize upon a

piece of paper because of the way that

games shape your brain because games are

the ones that give you external sources

of feedback on your thought process so

you really have to actually sit down and

write it out on a piece of paper you'll

be surprised at what actually comes out

because the first five sentences you can

think of in your head

but the rest of the stuff I guarantee

you is gonna be something that you have

not thought about before so just to kind

of recap the way that you really get

control of your gaming is through

developing a competing interest and the

way that you really figure out what a

competing interest is is to clarify your

values and you have to understand that

your values are very different from your

desires stuff that you just want like

yeah I like I want to be President to

the United States or I want to own 50%

of Amazon or 50% of Google like yeah

sure you want that but that's not that's

not actually gonna cause you to change

your behavior whereas understanding what

your values are is gonna evoke emotion I

mean a motivation and that motivation is

going to come automatically and your

behavior will start to change on its own

but you've got to clarify your values

first we're gonna take a short break but

when we come back I'm gonna tell you

guys a little bit about something from

kind of the eastern side and we'll talk

a little bit about this word called

Dharma which means duty