Why It's So Hard To Be Consistent

Summary

The video script explores the concept of developing consistency in life, particularly for gamers. It challenges the notion that a lack of consistency is due to low motivation or discipline, instead suggesting that the core issue is a lack of self-awareness and understanding of one's true self. Drawing parallels with gaming, the speaker emphasizes the importance of recognizing the flow of life and the need to live each day as a 'custodian' for the future self. The script encourages viewers to approach life with self-compassion and a sense of responsibility for the next day's self, as this paradoxically can lead to greater consistency and a more fulfilling life.

Takeaways

• 🎮 The core issue with developing consistency is not a lack of motivation or discipline, but a lack of self-awareness and understanding of one's true self.
• 🧘‍♂️ Ancient wisdom from Yogis in the Himalayas suggests that ignorance of our true selves is the source of suffering and inconsistency in life.
• 🕵️‍♂️ Recognizing that you are not the same person every day is crucial for understanding the fluctuations in your life and behaviors.
• 📚 Dr. K's guide is a resource designed to help individuals better understand their mind and take control of their life, tailored to fit their needs.
• 🤔 Gamers can apply principles from video games, such as understanding the flow and phases of a game, to improve consistency in life.
• 🌐 Life is compared to a multiplayer game where different versions of yourself are 'spawning' into your life one day at a time.
• 🔄 The concept of 'adia' or ignorance of one's true self can be related to the inconsistency in life and the tendency to leave problems for future selves.
• 🧠 Neuroscience explains future discounting, where the human brain values immediate rewards more than those in the future, leading to procrastination.
• 🛠 To build a consistent life, one must live as a temporary custodian, focusing on setting up a better life for the 'next player' or future self.
• 💖 Self-compassion and self-love are essential because sacrifices for a better future are more likely when you value yourself.
• 🔄 Accepting that there is no inherent consistency within oneself and focusing on living well for the present day can paradoxically lead to a more consistent life.

Q & A

What is the core problem with developing consistency according to the speaker?

The core problem with developing consistency is not about motivation, discipline, or willpower. It's about not knowing who you are and living as if you are constantly spawning into someone else's life, which leads to inconsistency.

What is the concept of 'avidya' mentioned in the script?

Avidya is a term from ancient wisdom teachings, specifically from the Yogis in the Himalayas, which refers to ignorance or not recognizing our true selves. This ignorance is said to be the source of suffering and problems in our lives.

Why do people often fail to maintain consistency in their lives?

People often fail to maintain consistency because they don't recognize that they are not the same person every day. They fluctuate and live as if they are different individuals each day, leading to inconsistency.

What is the significance of understanding the 'flow of the game' in the context of the script?

Understanding the 'flow of the game' is significant because it helps to apply the principles of gaming to life. It involves recognizing the different stages of life (early, mid, and late game) and how actions in one stage can impact the next, which is crucial for consistency.

How does the speaker relate the concept of 'future discounting' to the lack of consistency in life?

The speaker relates 'future discounting' to the lack of consistency by explaining that our brains are wired to value immediate rewards more than future ones. This leads to behaviors where we leave tasks for future 'us' to handle, causing inconsistency.

What does the speaker suggest as the key to understanding consistency?

The speaker suggests that the key to understanding consistency is to recognize that you only exist for today and that you are a temporary custodian of your life. This realization can help in setting up a better life for the 'next person' who will be you tomorrow.

What is the role of self-compassion in building a consistent life?

Self-compassion plays a crucial role in building a consistent life because if you don't love yourself, you won't make sacrifices for your future self. It's important to care for the person you will become tomorrow to ensure consistency.

How does the speaker use the analogy of playing a video game to explain living life?

The speaker uses the analogy of playing a video game to explain living life by suggesting that we should live as if we are only playing for 5 minutes at a time, being custodians for the next person who will take over. This approach can help in building consistency.

What is the importance of recognizing that there is no consistency within oneself according to the script?

Recognizing that there is no consistency within oneself is important because it helps to accept that you only get to live today and that you don't get to decide what happens tomorrow. This understanding can paradoxically lead to a more consistent life.

How does the speaker connect the ancient principle of 'avidya' to modern-day problems and gaming?

The speaker connects the ancient principle of 'avidya' to modern-day problems by explaining that ignorance of our true selves leads to suffering and inconsistency. He then relates this to gaming, suggesting that understanding the flow of a game can help apply this principle to life and achieve consistency.

Outlines

00:00

🎮 Understanding Consistency in Gaming Life

The paragraph discusses the challenge of developing consistency in life as a gamer, emphasizing that the issue is not about motivation, discipline, or willpower, but rather a lack of understanding of one's true self. It suggests that consistency is hindered by the fluctuation of one's identity and the ignorance of our true selves, a concept discovered by yogis in the Himalayas. The speaker introduces Dr. K's guide as a resource to help understand the mind and take control of life, and draws a parallel between the structure of a video game and the stages of life, pointing out the importance of recognizing the flow of life to achieve consistency.

05:02

🔄 The Illusion of a Static Self

This paragraph delves into the concept that we are not the same person every day and that our values, choices, and identity fluctuate. It explains how this fluctuation leads to inconsistency in life, using the analogy of a video game where one's early game decisions can disadvantage the mid and late game. The speaker highlights the human tendency to neglect future consequences due to a lack of stewardship and future discounting, a psychological phenomenon where the brain values immediate rewards over future ones. The paragraph encourages viewers to consider their actions as temporary custodians of their lives, impacting the 'next player' or future self.

10:03

🕹️ Embracing the Role of Temporary Custodian

The final paragraph focuses on the idea of living life as a temporary custodian, suggesting that we should act in a way that improves the situation for the next 'player' or future self. It uses the analogy of a Top Chef challenge to illustrate how individuals can work together towards a common goal, even if they are only responsible for a short segment of time. The speaker emphasizes the importance of self-compassion and self-love as motivators for making sacrifices today for a better tomorrow. The paragraph concludes by urging the audience to live each day with the intention of setting up a better life for the future self, rather than creating a mess for them to inherit.

Keywords

💡Consistency

Consistency in the video script refers to the ability to maintain a certain level of performance or behavior over time. It is a core theme as the video discusses how gamers can achieve consistency in their personal development, such as building habits, motivation, discipline, and willpower. The script suggests that true consistency is not about maintaining the same actions every day but understanding the fluctuating nature of one's self and making decisions that benefit future versions of oneself.

💡Gamers

Gamers are the target audience for this video script. The term is used to describe individuals who play video games and are often seeking to improve their skills or 'level up' their stats within the gaming context. The script uses gaming as a metaphor for life, suggesting that the principles of gaming, such as understanding game flow and strategy, can be applied to develop consistency and success in life.

💡Flow of the game

The flow of the game is a concept that describes the different stages of a game, such as the early game, mid-game, and end game. In the script, this concept is used as a metaphor to discuss life stages and how one's actions in the 'early game' of life can impact the 'mid-game' and 'end game'. The video suggests that understanding and planning for these stages can help in developing consistency.

💡Aidia

Aidia, as mentioned in the script, is a term that originates from ancient teachings and refers to ignorance or lack of awareness of one's true self. The video explains that a core problem with developing consistency is not knowing who you truly are, which ties back to the concept of aidia. Recognizing this ignorance can be a first step towards developing self-awareness and consistency.

💡Stewardship

Stewardship in the context of the video refers to the responsibility one has for the well-being and future of something, in this case, one's own life. The script argues that lacking a sense of stewardship can lead to neglecting the future self, leading to inconsistency. By embracing stewardship, individuals can make decisions that benefit not just the present but also future versions of themselves.

💡Future discounting

Future discounting is a psychological concept discussed in the script that explains why people tend to value immediate rewards more than future ones. This concept is used to illustrate why individuals often procrastinate and neglect the future self. Understanding future discounting can help in making decisions that promote consistency and long-term well-being.

💡Nucleus accumbens

The nucleus accumbens is a region of the brain mentioned in the script that plays a role in the brain's reward system. It is associated with the concept of future discounting, as it is wired to value immediate rewards more than those that are delayed. The script uses this neurological concept to explain why humans naturally gravitate towards immediate gratification over long-term planning.

💡Custodian

In the script, a custodian is someone who takes care of something for a limited time, with the responsibility of passing it on in a good condition to the next person. This concept is applied to life, suggesting that each day we are temporary custodians of our own lives, responsible for making decisions that benefit the future self who will 'inherit' the next day.

💡Self-compassion

Self-compassion is the ability to be kind to oneself in instances of pain or failure, as discussed in the script. It is highlighted as an important factor in developing consistency because if one does not love and value themselves, it becomes difficult to make sacrifices for the future. Self-compassion encourages individuals to make decisions that benefit their long-term well-being.

💡Body swap comedy

The term 'body swap comedy' is used in the script as a metaphor to illustrate the concept of living life as if one's consciousness is being swapped into a new body each day. This concept is used to emphasize the importance of recognizing that each day we are different and that our actions today impact the 'person' who wakes up tomorrow.

Highlights

Developing consistency in life as a gamer involves understanding that consistency is not about motivation, discipline, or willpower, but knowing who you are.

The core problem with consistency is ignorance of our true selves, a concept discovered by yogis in the Himalayas thousands of years ago.

People fluctuate daily and are not the same person every day, which is a barrier to consistency.

Understanding the flow of a video game can help us apply similar principles to life for better consistency.

Life is like a game with phases: early game, mid-game power spike, and end game, where maintaining advantage is key.

In life, there's often no consistency as people live without a sense of the game's flow, similar to a Pub match in gaming.

Recognizing that you only exist for today and are a 'multiplayer' in your own life can help develop consistency.

The concept of 'adia' or ignorance of our true selves is a root cause of suffering and inconsistency.

People often neglect future consequences because they believe they are not the same person who will deal with them.

Neuroscience explains future discounting, where the brain values immediate rewards over future ones.

Accepting that you are a temporary custodian of your life can change how you approach consistency.

Self-compassion is crucial for making sacrifices today for a better tomorrow.

Understanding that there is no inherent consistency within oneself is the first step towards building a consistent life.

Living as if you're playing a video game for only 5 minutes at a time can help improve life consistency.

An example from Top Chef illustrates the concept of being a temporary custodian and the importance of setting up a better situation for the next person.

Paradoxically, accepting the lack of consistency within can actually help build a more consistent life.

Transcripts

today we're going to talk about how to

develop consistency in your life as a

gamer now if you're a gamer chances are

you're trying to level up your stats

like motivation or discipline or

willpower or building habits because if

you can do all that you will be

consistent the problem with consistency

has nothing to do with net motivation or

discipline or willpower the core problem

with developing consistency is that you

don't know who you are you think you are

living your life but you're not living

your life you are constantly spawning

into some random dude's life and it once

you realize this your ability to develop

consistency will become way easier so

this was originally a discovery that

Yogi in the Himalayas made thousands of

years ago that the source of suffering

and problems in our life has to do with

aidia or ignorance of our true selves

and this is actually the case in your

life too because you kind of know that

you're not the same person every day

right you may have dreams of oh man

remember that one day that one week back

in March of 2023 when I woke up and I

did everything that I was supposed to do

man if only I could be like that person

and every day you wake up and you wish

you were that person but the problem is

that you're not that person that the you

actually fluctuates quite a bit and if

we want to understand how to develop the

right consistency in life we have to

understand how to live life hey just a

quick note a lot of people will ask

discuss what do I do next and that's why

we built Dr K's guide It's a

comprehensive resource that distills

over 20 years of my experience both as a

monk and as a psychiatrist and it's

designed in a way that's tailored to fit

your needs so if you're interested in

better understanding your mind and

taking control of your life check out

the link below so this is something also

that I think Gamers will be pretty good

at because we can sort of look at okay

how do we win in a video game how do we

get good at a video game what are the

general principles and how can we apply

that to to life so let's start by

understanding so if you want to play a

game and you want to be good at it you

have to understand the flow of the game

you have to understand the kind of

direction of the game right so there's

the early game and in the early game we

sort of level up and we prep things so

that we can hit our mid game Power Spike

and then once we have our mid game Power

Spike then it's just about not screwing

up and closing out the end game right

you've got your advantage then you can

kind of close things out the problem is

that much like your Pub matches when

you're playing your life there's no

in consistency there right your early

game is like yeah I'm going to like not

pay attention in high school I'm not

going to develop good study habits

therefore I'm going to go into my mid

game of like college and 20s with a

significant disadvantage and since I

have a significant disadvantage this

part of my life is really going to suck

and then I'm kind of going into my late

game of like 31st birthday and now we

have this like trash of like an early

game and mid game and then we kind of

Wonder oh my God like how how did I get

here right we're playing the game of

life with some like Elon Musk Elden ring

build which is like hey I got a level up

let me just dump a point over here and

dump a point over here oh that item

looks cool like I'll start using that

item this is the way that we're living

life there's no consistency because we

have no sense of the flow of the game

and this is the other problem is that if

you really stop and think about it

you're not playing the game of life as

one person in fact that's the whole

problem is that you wake up on a

different day and you're actually like a

different person so the key thing that

we need to understand is that if you

want consistency you have to start by

understanding that you don't exist

Beyond today that your life is actually

a multiplayer game where random people

are waking up in your life and get to

live life one day at a time now you may

say but Dr k no these are all these

people are me no this is the problem

this is what the yogi said this is a

Vidya you don't know that this isn't

actually you you're just a random person

living this life one day at a time and

that may sound weird but think about it

for a second right because what do you

love to do you love to screw over

tomorrow you right so here you are on a

given day and it's like okay well like

today I have to like go through the mail

and I have to do laundry and oh yeah I

have to fill out those applications for

college but do you actually do those

things no of course not why not you tell

yourself I will do it later but it's not

the you that has to do it later it's

that next guy or girl who has to do it

later I'm going to leave this for the

noob tomorrow and so you spend your life

enjoying today and then you wake up

tomorrow and then who do you get mad at

do you get mad at yourself sort of you

get mad at the dude that came before you

right because that person damn it why

didn't that guy do this crap that needed

to be done instead I'm waking up today

and I have all this stuff that this

person yesterday did not do so if you

really stop and think about it the basic

problem with life is that you don't

recognize that you only get to live for

this moment in time this is the only

time that you get to be in charge and

this is why you are so neglectful right

because if we sort of look at it when

people have no conception of the future

when they have no sense of stewardship

what do they do they screw things over

for the next person and this is exactly

how we live our life I'm going to do

this today because tomorrow me can

clean up this mess and so the

you actually f U Ates quite a bit and

this runs deeper than the mind right so

we know that desires fluctuate emotions

fluctuate the problem is that it runs

deeper than that it's not just at the

surface levels of the mind it's your

values it's your choices it's the life

that you're crafting you can wake up on

January 1st 2024 and decide this is the

year that I order a uh learn to play a

musical instrument and then you order a

musical instrument and then since you're

an Amazon Prime member it shows up in 2

days and two days later it's January 3rd

and you're like you know what but I

don't want this anymore the person that

you are has changed so what do we do

about this how do we start to live a

life of of consistency if we ourselves

change every single day and this is the

first thing to understand is that so far

you've been trying to build a consistent

life assuming that you are the same

every single day but the whole point and

you know this is that you're not the

same every day right this is why you are

so attached to a former version of

yourself so many people in our community

are like man I wish I could go back to

being this person that I used to be I

wish I could I wish I could have learned

what I am today I wish I could have

learned that 10 years ago and then my

life would have been completely

different if you really stop and look at

your experience of life you recognize

that there's a lot of fluctuation in so

what do we do about this so the first

thing to sort of really tunnel down into

is that if you live a life temporarily

if you're just inhabiting your body for

one day what would your life actually

look like and this is where chances are

you would kind of screw things up right

this is why public toilets people piss

on you know piss all over the public

toilet because they don't have ever have

to use it again this is why public

toilets are such a mess because there's

no sense of stewardship because I can

leave it for the next person and if you

look at your life and you lack

consistency what's going on there you

are leaving stuff for future you to deal

with right you don't want to deal with

it today and people may Wonder well why

is that and this is where there's an

interesting bit of Neuroscience that

comes in so if you look at the human

brain we've evolved to do this like have

this problem with future discounting

which basically means that we as a human

species this is the way we've evolved

value a dollar today more than $2 a year

from now so we our brains are wired

there's a part of our brain called the

nucleus accumbens and it's wired to

Value things that are immediate more

than things that are distant and so if

you sort of think about it for a second

right let's say I've got two things to

do I want to play a video game let's say

it's Friday I've got to play a video

game and I've got to fill out an

application so my brain looks at this

problem and says okay I've got these two

things to do and due to future

discounting I can do my work today and

then I can have fun tomorrow but

literally my brain values fun today more

than fun tomorrow this is why we

fundamentally as a species procrastinate

so what do we do about this we have to

understand that we are inheriting this

life from the person who came before us

and we are custodians of this life for

the person who comes next see our life

is not one where we exist from moment to

moment to moment it's some weird body

swap comedy and all of those body swap

comedies what happens this person's

Consciousness gets transplanted into

this new body and what what does their

life become their life becomes a

playground of there's $10,000 in the

bank account well I'm going to buy

whatever the hell I want to because this

person who will come after me will have

to clean up that mess so we really have

to accept this so I want youall to start

living your life as if you're playing a

video game but you're only playing it

for 5 minutes at a time if you're

playing a MOBA game and someone else is

like in the bathroom and they're like oh

no the que popped start playing the game

for me how are you going to play that

game even though you won't get the joy

of winning are you going to start saying

like Okay like lol I'm going to screw up

this person's game and then they can

inherit it 5 minutes from now and then

what whatever no when you sit down to

play the game if you really pay

attention you're going to try to play

the best game that you can even though

you're not going to get the joy of

winning then you step out of the seat

your friend steps into the seat and then

they take over and when that second

person steps into the seat they are

custodians of the game for five minutes

they don't get to see the victory right

they're only playing for five minutes

they're swapping for someone else and

then that next person plays the game

when do games go wrong when someone

who's sitting stops playing in 5 minute

intervals when someone who's playing for

the first 5 minutes and your enemies

feed then they think oh my God the game

is lost everything is screwed and then

what do you start doing you start ining

down mid and you start over the

guy next who comes next and then when

you respawn you're in this game but

you've screwed things up for yourself

even more see this is the key thing to

understand when we connect our present

day to some kind of outcome we recruit

the nucleus

we begin to tilt everything gets Tangled

together and we actually lose control

instead how should you play a game where

you've you know gone 0 and two and mid

and things are not going well okay I am

a custodian of this game for the next

five minutes how can I play this game to

improve things for the person who comes

next this is exactly how you should live

your life so my my favorite example of

this actually comes from outside of

gaming so many years ago I used to love

watching this show called Top Chef and

in this this this one particular episode

of Top Chef they had this really cool

challenge where they had teams of chefs

and there's a team of five chefs okay

and they have to make a dish the only

catch is that one person goes into the

kitchen starts cooking for about 5

minutes and then they leave the kitchen

the next Chef on the team comes inside

it's almost like a relay race and they

have to figure out what F Chef number

one was thinking and then they have to

sort of continue their process and then

they leave after 5 minutes Chef number

three comes in tries to figure out

what's going on and then tries to do the

best and move things along the

interesting thing is that if you start

living your life this way if you start

by really acknowledging that you are not

the one who gets to live the remainder

of your life you don't get to win at the

end you are just a custodian for today

it will change the way that you live

life ironically it will help you

actually build consistency because if

you just exists for today what kind of

Life do you want to set up for the

person tomorrow now some of y'all may

say say but I don't care about the

person tomorrow if I'm just living for

today why wouldn't I be like the body

swap comedy person and just burn through

everything so this is where we have to

understand another aside so this is

where self-compassion becomes very very

important and a lot of people misunder

understand this they really struggle

with things like motivation and stuff

like that but if you really don't love

yourself what is the point in making

sacrifices for your life see we make

sacrifices for things that are worth it

so I can afford to eat healthy today or

go to the gym or whatever if the person

I'm doing it for is worth something

right we sacrifice for those that we

love and if you're in a situation in

life where you don't love yourself why

would you sacrifice for something that

you don't love and this is why if we

don't love ourselves it can become very

hard to make sacrifices today for a

better tomorrow because we don't care

about the person who's inheriting

tomorrow so we've got to be super

careful about this particular pitfall at

the end of the day if you want to live a

life of consistency paradoxically what

you really need to do is recognize that

there is no consistency within you you

just get to live today you don't get to

decide what happens tomorrow because

youve tried that right you tried that

some time ago where you're like I'm

going to play games today the person

tomorrow can do the work and what

happens when you wake up tomorrow the

person is like ah I'm not going to do

the work today I know I said I would do

it yesterday

but today I'm not going to do it and you

punt things along punt things along punt

things along so just accept that you

don't actually live your life you are

just a temporary custodian you're

constantly spawning into this person's

life and once you start doing that then

ask yourself how do I want to live this

life today am I going to set things up

better for the person who's going to

inherit tomorrow or do I want to be a

hedonistic and create a mess for

the person who is is inheriting tomorrow

and the whole problem is that we end up

doing the latter thing because we think

that there is consistency because we

think that we can make up for it

tomorrow but that's impossible if that

worked none of us would actually be here

so I know it sounds bizarre but

paradoxically understanding a little bit

about gaming understanding the flow of

game can help us understand this ancient

principle of aidia or ignorance leading

to suffering and problems in our life we

just have to adapt it a little bit for

the gamers in our

[Music]

audience