The Toxic World of Self Help: Hustle Culture, Toxic Positivity, Addiction, and Fake Gurus.

Summary

This video script narrates a personal journey through the self-help industry, highlighting its allure and potential pitfalls. The speaker shares how self-improvement books initially boosted confidence but led to an addictive cycle of consumption without tangible progress. Warning against the industry's profit-driven motives and the culture of 'hustle', the script advocates for genuine self-reflection and practical action over endless content consumption.

Takeaways

• 📚 The speaker was introduced to self-development through Dale Carnegie's book 'How to Win Friends and Influence People', which sparked a year-long journey of personal growth.
• 🌀 The allure of self-development led to a cycle of consuming books, guru advice, and various self-help materials, creating a sense of constant progress and motivation.
• 💡 The feeling of accomplishment from self-help content can be addictive, often leading to a cycle of buying more materials without actual progress.
• 🚫 The self-help industry is a multi-billion dollar business that capitalizes on dissatisfaction and the desire for self-improvement, potentially leading to overconsumption.
• 🤔 The speaker encourages questioning the motives of self-help gurus and the real value of the content they produce, to avoid falling into the trap of endless consumption.
• 💭 The speaker experienced a loss of passion for acting, which contradicted the self-help narrative of constant positivity and success, leading to a realization that struggle is a natural part of life.
• 🔄 The concept of 'hustle culture' within self-help promotes working hard without necessarily working smart, which can lead to burnout and ineffective efforts.
• 🛑 The speaker warns against the darker sides of the self-help industry, which may create illusions of progress and keep consumers hooked on the next product or idea.
• 📈 The importance of taking action and applying self-help advice is highlighted, as opposed to merely consuming content without making meaningful changes.
• 📘 The speaker recommends practical books like 'The Power of Now' by Eckhart Tolle and 'Unscripted' by MJ DeMarco, which provide genuine insights without promoting dependency.
• 👍 The speaker appreciates the viewers for watching and encourages them to reflect on the traps of the self-help industry and to apply discernment in their personal development journey.

Q & A

What was the catalyst for the speaker's initial interest in self-development?

The speaker's curiosity was piqued when they saw a book titled 'How to Win Friends and Influence People' in the hands of a friend, which eventually led to their exploration of self-development.

How did the speaker's life change after they started reading self-development books?

The speaker began to focus on various aspects of self-improvement such as joining a gym, paying attention to diet, scheduling their days, and taking their passion for acting more seriously.

What is the term the speaker uses to describe the illusion of progress felt after consuming self-help content?

The speaker refers to this as 'action faking', a concept where one feels accomplished without making actual progress.

What is the estimated worth of the self-help industry by 2022, according to the script?

The self-help industry is estimated to be worth thirteen point six billion dollars by 2022.

Why does the speaker believe that the self-help industry profits from people's dissatisfaction?

The speaker suggests that the self-help industry thrives on people's feelings of inadequacy, which makes them more likely to consume self-help products and services in search of improvement.

What is the term 'hustle culture' as described in the script, and what are its potential issues?

Hustle culture is described as a romanticized concept of working hard for the sake of working hard, with potential issues including burnout and working hard at the wrong things.

What is the speaker's view on the concept of 'hustle' in the self-help community?

The speaker criticizes the concept of 'hustle' as being overemphasized and potentially misleading, as it can lead to working hard without achieving meaningful results.

What personal realization did the speaker have about their passion for acting after being involved in the self-help industry?

The speaker realized that they were losing their passion for acting, which led to feelings of dread and doubt, and that the self-help industry had made them feel that having negative thoughts was wrong.

What advice does the speaker give regarding the consumption of self-help content?

The speaker advises to be cautious and question the value of self-help content, to avoid falling into the trap of consuming more than one puts into action.

What are some of the practices the speaker found genuinely helpful in their life?

The speaker found going to the gym, eating healthier, having a regular sleep schedule, writing down goals, meditating, and reading practical books to be genuinely helpful practices.

What two books does the speaker highly recommend and why?

The speaker recommends 'The Power of Now' by Eckhart Tolle and 'Unscripted' by MJ DeMarco because they felt these books provided practical advice without promoting artificial motivation or dependency on products.

Outlines

00:00

📚 The Allure of Self-Development

The speaker recounts their journey into the world of self-development, which began with curiosity about a book titled 'How to Win Friends and Influence People.' After a year of procrastination, they delved into self-improvement, engaging in various activities like reading, exercising, and following self-help gurus. This led to a surge in confidence and motivation, but also to the realization of some underlying issues within the self-development industry.

05:01

💡 The Illusion of Progress in Self-Help

This paragraph delves into the addictive nature of self-help, driven by the dopamine rush that comes from the feeling of accomplishment after consuming self-help content. The speaker warns about the illusion of progress and the potential for action faking, which is engaging in activities that seem productive but do not lead to tangible results. They highlight the self-help industry's profitability, questioning the motives of gurus and the real value they provide.

10:02

💸 The Business of Self-Help and Its Pitfalls

The speaker discusses the self-help industry as a massive business, capitalizing on people's dissatisfaction and desire for improvement. They caution against the trap of endless consumption of self-help products and the chase for motivation, which can lead to financial strain and a lack of real progress. The paragraph also touches on the darker side of the industry, where profits are made at the expense of consumers' genuine well-being.

15:02

🚫 The Struggle with Hustle Culture and Real Progress

In this paragraph, the speaker reflects on their personal experience with the concept of 'hustle culture' within self-help, which promotes constant hard work without necessarily focusing on the right tasks. They discuss the risks of burnout and the importance of working smart rather than just hard. The speaker also shares their realization that struggle is a natural part of life and that the self-help industry often glosses over this reality.

🛑 A Word of Caution for Self-Help Seekers

The final paragraph serves as a cautionary note for those interested in self-help. The speaker emphasizes the importance of discernment when consuming self-help content and questions the need for constant consumption of books, courses, and seminars. They share their personal journey of realizing the limitations of the self-help industry and the importance of finding balance and authenticity in one's pursuit of self-improvement.

Keywords

💡Self-development

Self-development refers to the process of improving one's skills, knowledge, and overall well-being. In the video, it is the central theme where the narrator describes their journey of personal growth through reading books, exercising, and adopting various self-improvement practices. The concept is tied to the video's message about the potential pitfalls of excessive self-help consumption.

💡Dale Carnegie

Dale Carnegie is an author known for his influential book 'How to Win Friends and Influence People,' which the narrator mentions as the catalyst for their interest in self-development. The book's title and its impact on the narrator illustrate the video's exploration of self-help literature and its influence on personal growth.

💡Procrastination

Procrastination is the act of delaying or postponing tasks or actions. The narrator admits to procrastinating for a year before reading Dale Carnegie's book, which highlights the struggle between interest in self-improvement and the tendency to delay taking action, a common theme in the self-help journey.

💡Motivation

Motivation is the drive or desire to take action toward achieving a goal. The video discusses the narrator's increased motivation after engaging with self-help materials, but also warns of the potential for artificial motivation that may not lead to tangible progress.

💡Dopamine

Dopamine is a neurotransmitter associated with feelings of pleasure and reward. The script describes how the feeling of accomplishment from reading self-help books can trigger a dopamine rush, potentially leading to an addictive cycle of consumption without actual self-improvement.

💡Action Faking

Action faking is a concept from the book 'The Millionaire Fastlane' by MJ DeMarco, where it refers to activities that create the illusion of progress without actual advancement. The video uses this term to caution against the self-help industry's potential to lead individuals into a cycle of ineffectual busyness.

💡Hustle Culture

Hustle culture is the belief that constant hard work and productivity are the keys to success. The video critiques this notion, suggesting that it can lead to burnout and ineffective efforts if not directed towards the right goals, contrasting with the genuine hard work needed for meaningful progress.

💡Burnout

Burnout is a state of physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion often caused by chronic stress. The script warns of the risk of burnout as a consequence of the relentless work ethic promoted by hustle culture, emphasizing the importance of balance in self-improvement efforts.

💡Artificial Motivation

Artificial motivation refers to a temporary boost in drive or enthusiasm that may not be sustainable. The video discusses how the self-help industry can create a sense of artificial motivation, which may not translate into lasting change or improvement.

💡Self-Help Industry

The self-help industry encompasses the market of books, seminars, online programs, and other resources aimed at personal development. The video critiques this industry for potentially exploiting individuals' desires for self-improvement and for promoting consumption over genuine progress.

💡Struggle

Struggle in the context of the video refers to the challenges and difficulties one faces in the pursuit of personal growth. The narrator realizes that meaningful progress is often born out of struggle, contrasting with the self-help industry's portrayal of a smooth and effortless path to success.

Highlights

The speaker's journey into self-development began with curiosity about a book titled 'How to Win Friends and Influence People'.

The impact of Dale Carnegie's book led to a year of self-improvement activities including gym attendance and diet changes.

The speaker's immersion in self-development led to following various gurus and adopting practices like meditation and visualization.

Despite feeling more confident and motivated, the speaker began to notice issues within the self-development world.

A warning is issued about the potential toxicity within the self-development industry.

The self-help industry's profitability relies on individuals' dissatisfaction and the illusion of progress.

The concept of 'action faking' is introduced as a form of procrastination where one feels accomplished without actual progress.

The self-help industry is criticized for creating an addictive cycle of consumption without substantial personal growth.

The estimated worth of the self-help industry and its reliance on continuous consumer spending is highlighted.

The speaker reflects on their naive belief in the self-help community's genuine intent to improve lives.

A critique of the self-help industry's exploitation of consumers' insecurities and the pressure to constantly seek improvement.

The realization that the self-help industry thrives on consumers' discontent and the pursuit of the next best thing.

The speaker's personal experience with losing passion for acting and the struggle to reconcile this with self-help teachings.

The acknowledgment of the need to accept struggle and the limitations of the self-help industry's positive messaging.

A critique of 'hustle culture' within self-help, emphasizing the importance of working smart, not just hard.

The dangers of burnout and ineffective efforts from blindly following the self-help industry's advice on constant work.

The speaker's recommendation of practical books and practices that have genuinely contributed to their life.

A final warning about the potential traps of the self-help industry and the importance of critical thinking and self-reflection.

Transcripts

I still remember how it started it was

four years ago I just finished a normal

day of school and went to me up with one

of my best friends as I approached him

outside the school gates I noticed a

book in his hands and me being the

curious kid that I was asked him what he

was reading the front cover looked ugly

it was an obnoxious read with a font

that didn't look quite right but what

fascinated me was the title how to win

friends and influence people it took me

a whole year of procrastinating before I

finally decided to do it I ordered Dale

Carnegie's book from Amazon and I

started reading and just like that I was

hooked

self development consumed me I signed up

to the local gym I started paying

attention to what I was eating

I started scheduling my days out I

started taking my passion for acting at

the time more seriously I read book

after book after book I followed all the

Guru's I was told to follow meditating

taking cold showers reading affirmations

to myself visualizing my goals I read

more I exercised more I hustled more I

felt more confident and motivated than I

had ever felt before

this is it I told myself this is what my

life had been missing everything was

perfect

[Music]

at least that's what I wanted people to

think the world of self-development had

changed many things for me but there

were some glaring issues issues that I

had to come face-to-face with and let

this video be a warning to those of you

that are looking to improve your life or

situation wherever you're at I've been

wanting to make this video since

starting this channel and I've finally

plucked up the courage to do it so get

ready to sit back relax and join me as

we dive into the toxic world of

self-development

[Music]

[Music]

Hey

are you looking to improve your life do

you want to change your current

situation have you had enough of having

enough do you want more happiness money

do you want to be liked do you want

people to notice you more okay hi do you

want to prove them wrong the people that

you know don't believe you can achieve

something great this is where it begins

at least for me is started here the

reason I procrastinated on buying Dale

Carnegie's book was because I never felt

the need to that was until my first year

of college for whatever reason I

struggled to fit in and find my place in

that first year although technically I

had friends that was this underlying

sense of loneliness like I just wasn't

myself I was constantly worried about

what other people were thinking of me

and I had this unhealthy desire to be

liked by everyone then I got to a point

where I said enough was enough I didn't

like feeling the way I did so I decided

to make a change and that is what

brought me to the world of self-help

this context is important to note

because one of the biggest reasons for

someone wanting to improve themselves is

because they have a sense of

dissatisfaction with where they're

currently app and there's nothing wrong

with our sentiment wanting to change

your current situation because you're

unhappy with it is a very powerful thing

to do the problem here lies in your

vulnerability if you're in a dark place

and you're looking to get out of it you

can be susceptible to certain problems

self development has a nice lure to it

doesn't it a world of people trying to

be better versions of themselves a world

where you take control over your life

and decisions a world that makes you

feel like you're making progress like

you're maturing and doing what nobody

else's this is it you tell yourself

whilst everyone else is partying and

indulging in short-term pleasures I'm

gonna be working on myself if it was

great doesn't it you feel better about

yourself

own

it feels like you've climbed right out

of that dark place you were just in

you've taken the bait you've trusted a

new voice in your head and that is when

you become blind to the traps that lie

in wait self-help makes you feel good

there's no doubt about it

there's this amazing feeling of

satisfaction that I felt after finishing

the final page of every self-help book

that I read I had a rise in motivation I

felt like I just completed the level of

some video game and my character had

just leveled up you see after every

self-help book that you read off that

every self-help video that you watch

there is a surge of dopamine that rises

straight into your brain that feeling of

accomplishing something after reading

each book made me feel incredible and

after finishing that self-help book I

would go straight onto Amazon and order

a bunch of new ones that psycho would

repeat itself many times over buy a new

book feel a strong sense of motivation

after reading it and then buy another

book and on and on and on it went if you

still don't see the problem with what's

going on here let's take a look at the

addictive side of dopamine

the reason anything becomes addictive is

not because of the thing itself the

reason someone becomes addicted to a

drug is not the drugs it's what the drug

does to your brain that rush of dopamine

is what gets you hooked and make no

mistake it is easy to get hooked to

self-help whether orchestrated or not

the self-help world can pull you

very massive illusion the illusion of

progress after reading that book you

feel accomplished after attending that

seminar

you feel accomplished after watching

that self-help video you feel

accomplished you feel like you've

achieved something great and have done

something really productive that

motivation lingers in your system urging

you to buy the next book attend the next

seminar watch the next video it's only

when you take a second to pause and

reflect when you realize nothing has

changed one of my favorite authors MJ

DeMarco has a concept in his book called

action faking which is doing things that

make you feel like you've accomplished

something even though no actual progress

has been made it's that weird urge you

get to clean your room when an important

assignment is due it's creating a

schedule and then calling it a day's

work once you're finished it's reading

about business but never actually

starting one its buying the business

cards instead of actually picking up the

phone and making a sale action faking is

an even more lethal form of

procrastination because you're tricking

yourself into thinking that you're

actually making progress so let this be

your first warning you don't need to

read every self-help book out there or

attend every seminar or buy every online

course or listen to every business

podcast there's a time when you're doing

too much consuming and the action that

needs to be taken is postponed this is

the first trap that so many people get

themselves into and it has dramatic

consequences at the end of it an empty

wallet a whole bunch of temporary

motivation and a gut-wrenching

realization in the back of your mind

that knows you haven't achieved anything

yet

you haven't made any progress you only

got better at convincing yourself that

you did

but behind this self-help addiction is

something more sinister because on the

back of your constant purchases and your

constant chasing of motivation someone

is profiting someone is winning question

is who

[Music]

here's something you might not know the

self-help industry is estimated to be

worth thirteen point six billion dollars

by 2022 with five point six percent

average yearly gains to put it lightly

people are making Bank off of

self-development the selling of books

seminars online programs podcasts blogs

coaching live speaking events are some

of the main mediums used so why does

this matter

I remember being obsessed with certain

gurus when I started getting into this I

happily would take out my wallet and

spend money on their books their

products and continue consuming their

content with a smile on my face and that

all-too-familiar feeling of artificial

motivation the thing is I never

questioned their motives

I saw the self-development world as a

secret community that I was a part of a

community of other individuals looking

to better themselves sure these gurus

were making money but they were

providing so much value in return they

were trying to make my life better right

pause this type of naive thinking

becomes problematic when you're dealing

with an industry that is worth billions

you are more profitable to the self-help

industry unhappy and discontent than you

are happy and fulfilled remember when we

talked about how you have to come from a

place of being dissatisfied with

yourself in order to want to improve

your life well the business of self-help

knows that in fact they rely on that

feeling of inadequacy to pull you in oh

and they're very aware of how addicting

self-help can be a combination of you

feeling inadequate and you getting a

small high every time you consume

self-help content turns you into an avid

consumer of their products and make no

mistake many of these gurus will

continue to make product after which

their own self-help addicted core fan

base they are urging them to produce

more and more products and then you fall

into the trap of looking for the next

big thing a trap that further adds to

your consuming instincts you think to

yourself that you just need one more

thing before you find the secret before

everything changes then

big secrets losing weight the next best

business model to land yourself in the

world of financial freedom the new

hidden secret to unlocking your

charismatic self the one meditation

trick that will unlock your third eye

and so on and so on and so on and as you

continue consuming thinking to yourself

this time things are gonna be different

your wallet continues to dry up and you

never truly find yourself progressing or

improving yourself no all you've done is

made yourself a consumer of the

self-help industry so here's your next

warning the self-help industry is a huge

business and it is relying on you not

being content for you to continue

consuming the goods and services that it

produces be careful question your

favorite gurus question the real value

of the books and the courses and the

seminars that you attend ask yourself do

I really need to be told to write down

my goal seven different times in seven

different books from seven different

gurus ask yourself have I consumed more

from this industry than I have actually

put into action

I felt amazing after that first year of

discovering self-help the amount of

confidence that I had myself skyrocketed

I was happier than I had ever been I

wasn't looking back anymore

the old lonely wanting to be liked by

everyone else a version of me that was

gone the unhappy me that wasn't there

anymore I wish someone knew I felt like

someone knew I didn't ever want to go

back to feeling like I did before I'm

going to be successful is what I told

everybody and at that time success for

me was becoming one of the world's best

actors but of course this is never how

reality plays out it sounds really silly

but at the time I truly felt like I was

going to be happy forever or at least in

this constant state of motivation self

development is its own bubble you're

surrounded with positive messages

everyone's telling everyone you're all

gonna be successful oil gurus are making

posts about being happy and blocking out

those negative thoughts but just like

any bubble there's always a burst and my

burst came when I started losing my

passion for acting

[Music]

in that moment it seemed like my whole

world was turning upside down since I

was a kid I told everyone that this was

my dream this was my passion that I was

never gonna quit being an actor because

that's what self-help taught me to do

never quit I had made myself out to be

this person who was destined to be

successful someone who had all ish

together and now as my passion began to

falter I was left with his deep sense of

dread and doubt and I never said a word

to anyone not for a long time I tried to

convince myself that I wasn't losing my

passion that I had everything in check

as I always had that nothing had changed

why you might ask

because in this bubble of

self-development surrounded by positive

messages I was made to believe that

negative thoughts about quitting were

wrong and even worse I felt like if I

accepted those feelings of unhappiness

with what I was doing I would go back to

being the old version of me the version

of me before self-help it took me a

whole year of inner self talk and obey

until I finally realized I had to come

to terms with quitting and I had to

accept the truth that the world of

self-development was trying to hide from

me there will always be struggle and

that's okay it's okay to not be okay

amidst this sea of people spouting the

same positive optimistic good vibes

messages I realized that the actual

meaningful things are created through

struggle

[Music]

rich people don't sleep eight hours a

day that's a third of your life if you

want it if you want this it's work work

like hell I mean you just have to put in

you know 80 hour and you don't hurt our

weeks every week cuz that got to hustle

muscle and he's like what I said I got

to hustle muscle work hard work working

hard hard work work harder and work hard

hard work hard work

[Music]

in this new world of Instagram

entrepreneurs fake gurus and humble

bragging a whole new culture has been

formed and it runs deep in much of the

self-help world the term hustle has

become a buzzword and even I'm guilty of

using it this idea of grinding working

harder than everyone else being

productive every second of the day is a

principle that has become well tore in

the self-help community now let me be

clear I'm not saying that working hard

is a bad thing if you're trying to be

successful with anything in a relatively

crowded market you are going to have to

work hard at the right thing

the problem with hustle culture is that

it's about working hard for the sake of

working hard it's become this

romanticized concept it's about sounding

like you're busy and working towards

success even though you're not achieving

anything it feels good to pretend that

you're hustling but I can guarantee you

that the people who are bragging about

working hard and hustling online are

actually doing a whole lot of

procrastination and action faking and

then there are those that are actually

working every single hour of the day

trying to make something work for

themselves because that's what hustle

culture taught them is the right thing

to do but that is also problematic

working hard is one piece of the puzzle

working hard at the right thing is the

final piece of that puzzle

[Music]

there are two immediate problems with

working hard 24/7 I have found the first

is being at risk of burnout a state of

emotional physical and mental exhaustion

caused by excessive prolonged stress the

second is working hard at the wrong

thing you could have a fitness blog and

be working on that 24/7 updating it with

new posts and new posts but the chances

of you actually getting somewhere are

very slim there are thousands of fitness

blogs out there it would be really

difficult for you to find your own

unique selling point that blog isn't

solving any real problems and if you had

just taken the time out of your hustling

to reflect on your strategy you would

have noticed that sooner but instead you

continue to work hard thinking that that

is all you need to be successful once

more the darker sides of the self-help

industry revolve around casting a shadow

over your eyes making you feel as though

you've accomplished something when you

actually haven't keeping you hooked to

the next product and the next product or

in the case of hustling keeping you

attached to the idea that advice like

working hard encompasses everything it

takes to be successful it doesn't it's a

facade and the darker sides of the

self-help industry rely on you believing

in the illusion to stay profitable

I realized that this video has probably

left some of you feeling a little

confused about what you should do and

what advice you should listen to

I obviously don't have all the answers

but I can say that the things have

genuinely helped me out in my life so

far are going to the gym and eating

healthier going to bed earlier and

waking up earlier writing my goals down

for the week the month or the year but

with an understanding that these things

may or may not change over time

meditating and reading books that are

actually practical and helped me out

with whatever situation I am facing

hands down two of the greatest books

I've ever read are the power of now by

Eckhart Tolle and unscripted by MJ

DeMarco with both of those books I never

felt like they were trying to get me

hooked to a product or that they were

just trying to give me a sense of

artificial motivation but with all that

being said let this video be a warning

for the traps that might lie in wait if

you do decide to get into the self-help

industry and if you do decide to make

that decision and go through that

journey just make sure not to fall into

the same traps that I did so thank you

for watching but stop do not click off

the video just yet I know you're sick

and tired of YouTube people giving you

the monologue of like the video comment

down below share it with your friends

subscribe and whilst I recommend you do

those things I do want to take the time

to say thank you dearly for watching

till the end of this video I put a huge

amount of effort into creating these

videos and I love doing it

so if you enjoy these sort of

documentary style videos on business

finance and life in general do feel free

to check out my other content I really

think you will it do you feel free to

check out some of my other content I

really think you'll enjoy it it is still

early days for this channel but I've got

a lot of exciting stuff planned so do

stay tuned for that and if you've got

any advice suggestions or anything in

between feel free to comment below I

tried to respond to it all and with all

that being said I really hope you have a

wonderful rest of the day altogether now

hands ahead salut

[Music]

you

[Music]