10 Things I Wish I Knew About Men In My 20s

Summary

In this insightful video, the speaker shares wisdom about relationships, advising women to value themselves, not to overdo for men, and to understand that men value time and effort invested in oneself. She emphasizes the importance of being interesting and secure, rather than 'hard to get', and stresses the need for mutual commitment and respect in a relationship.

Takeaways

• 💔 Doing more for a man does not necessarily make him value you more. Sometimes, men may interpret additional efforts as a sign of their own worth rather than your value.
• 💰 Valuing yourself and investing time and effort into your own growth can make a man value you more. Men often equate value with the resources and attention you devote to yourself.
• 🌶️ Men are not necessarily attracted to a 'spicy' or overly challenging woman every day. They appreciate an interesting woman who can also make them feel good about themselves.
• 💬 Being 'hard to get but easy to be with' is a desirable trait. It means having a busy life but being enjoyable and relaxed when you are together.
• 😎 Confidence is attractive. Recognize your own value and don't undervalue yourself in relationships.
• 🚫 If a man is not your type or not ready for a relationship, it's important to accept this and move on, as trying to change his mind is usually futile.
• 👶 If a man is unsure about the relationship, you should be unsure too. It's crucial to align your expectations and not invest in a relationship where one party is hesitant.
• 👵 Young men may not be ready for serious commitments like marriage or fatherhood, so consider dating older men who are more likely to be ready for these roles.
• 🏃‍♂️ When a man asks for space, respecting his need for autonomy is essential. Trying to close the gap can push him away.
• 🤔 Sometimes the problem in a relationship might be your own expectations or attempts to change the other person. Accept them for who they are or move on.
• 👩‍❤️‍👨 It's important for women to take the initiative in showing interest in a man they like, rather than waiting for him to make the first move.

Q & A

What is the main theme of the video script?

The main theme of the video script is about the wisdom the speaker wishes she knew in her 20s about men and relationships.

What misconception does the speaker address about doing more for men?

The speaker addresses the misconception that doing more for men will make them value you more. She explains that men might see it as them being more valuable, not you.

Why is it important to value yourself and put yourself first according to the speaker?

According to the speaker, valuing yourself and putting yourself first is important because men tend to value you more when they see you investing time and effort into yourself, similar to how they value their cars or other possessions.

What does the speaker mean by 'hard to get but easy to be with'?

The speaker means that you should not be difficult to approach or engage with, but you should have a busy life and not be overly available. When you are with him, be enjoyable and fun to be around.

Why does the speaker say that being an 'interesting woman' is more attractive than being a 'spicy Saucy woman'?

The speaker suggests that being an interesting woman with opinions and a secure attachment is more attractive because it makes a man feel like the man he wants to be, rather than being a challenge or a conquest.

What is the speaker's advice on how to handle a man who is unsure about a relationship?

The speaker advises that if a man is unsure about a relationship, you should also be unsure and consider dating other people. You should not invest all your hopes in a relationship with someone who is not fully committed.

Why does the speaker emphasize the importance of not trying to change a man?

The speaker emphasizes this because trying to change a man can be futile and lead to resentment. It's important to accept people for who they are and not attempt to mold them into what you want.

What does the speaker mean by 'pick the man, don't let the man pick you'?

The speaker means that women should take the initiative to show interest in the man they want, rather than waiting for a man to approach them. This does not mean chasing them, but giving subtle signs of interest.

Why does the speaker warn against focusing too much on physical attraction?

The speaker warns that physical attraction can fade quickly, and it's important to focus on shared values and how a man treats you. Looks alone are not enough to sustain a long-term relationship.

What is the speaker's stance on the idea that sleeping with a man will make him more attached?

The speaker argues that sleeping with a man will not necessarily make him more attached if he is not already interested. It's important to be genuinely ready for that step in the relationship.

Outlines

00:00

💔 Misunderstanding Men's Value Perception

The speaker shares wisdom she wishes she knew in her 20s about men. She emphasizes that doing more for men does not necessarily make them value you more. She explains the common misconception that increased effort equates to increased value, which is often true in other areas of life but not in relationships. Men may misinterpret your actions as them being more valuable rather than recognizing your value. She advises focusing on your own worth and not overdoing for others.

05:01

💰 Valuing Yourself to Increase Your Value

The speaker discusses the importance of valuing oneself and investing time and effort into oneself. She uses the analogy of a man taking care of his car to illustrate how men often value things they invest in. She advises women to spend time and energy on themselves, not just on men, to increase their perceived value. This self-investment is not only beneficial for relationships but also for personal growth and development.

10:03

🌟 Being Interesting, Not Just 'Hard to Get'

The speaker refutes the romantic comedy stereotype that men are attracted to 'spicy' and difficult women. Instead, she advises being an interesting woman with opinions and ideas, but not overly confrontational. She emphasizes the importance of making a man feel good about himself through your eyes and actions. The speaker also discusses the concept of being 'hard to get but easy to be with,' suggesting that maintaining a busy life while being enjoyable in his company is more attractive than being constantly available and resentful.

15:03

🌈 Confidence is Key in Attraction

The speaker talks about the importance of confidence in attracting men. She advises women to see themselves as valuable, using the metaphor of a luxury item that is not easily accessible. She warns against acting desperate or seeking validation from men, which can detract from one's attractiveness. The speaker encourages women to be confident in their worth and to understand that men are attracted to those who know their value.

20:06

🚫 Accepting Men as They Are, Not Trying to Change Them

The speaker discusses the futility of trying to change a man who is not interested or not ready for a relationship. She advises accepting men as they are and not attempting to convince them to want what you want. She emphasizes that if a man is not your type or not ready for commitment, no amount of persuasion will change his mind. The speaker encourages women to let go of those who are not right for them and focus on finding someone who is.

25:06

👶 Lessons from Parenthood and Relationship Dynamics

The speaker shares insights from her personal experiences, including her struggle with postpartum thyroiditis and the lessons she learned about relationships. She advises women to respect a man's need for space and not to panic or try to close the gap when he pulls away. She also discusses the importance of picking the right man and not waiting for him to pick you, emphasizing the need for women to take initiative in showing interest.

💑 The Myth of 'The One' and the Importance of Compatibility

The speaker dispels the myth that there is one perfect man for every woman and that he will find her. She encourages women to be proactive in choosing the man they want to be with and to give clear signs of interest. She also stresses the importance of compatibility in values and life goals, rather than just physical attraction. The speaker warns against the belief that physical attraction will sustain a relationship in the long term.

Keywords

💡Value

In the context of the video, 'value' refers to the perceived worth or importance of a person or thing. The speaker emphasizes that doing more for someone, in this case, a man, does not necessarily increase their value in his eyes. This is contrary to what might be expected in other areas of life, such as school or work, where more effort often leads to more recognition. The video suggests that men may misinterpret increased effort as a sign of their own value rather than the value of the person doing the extra work.

💡Self-worth

'Self-worth' is the belief in one's own value or importance. The speaker advises that valuing oneself and putting oneself first can make a man value a woman more. This is demonstrated through the metaphor of a man putting effort into his car, suggesting that what holds value is what time, money, effort, and energy are spent on. The video encourages women to invest in themselves to increase their perceived value and to avoid doing things for men that they have not asked for, which can lead to resentment.

💡Interest

The term 'interest' in the video script refers to the level of attraction or engagement a man has towards a woman. The speaker discusses how men's interest can be influenced by the woman's own self-investment and the time she spends on herself. It is suggested that men are more likely to be interested in a woman who is interesting and has her own life, rather than one who is overly focused on pleasing them.

💡Femininity

'Femininity' in the video is associated with qualities traditionally attributed to women, such as being nurturing, caring, and playful. The speaker emphasizes the importance of maintaining a sense of playfulness and femininity as women grow older. This is contrasted with the idea of being 'hard to get,' suggesting that being easy to be with while also having a busy and independent life is more attractive to men.

💡Confidence

In the video, 'confidence' is portrayed as a key attribute that makes a woman attractive to men. The speaker argues that a woman who is confident in her own value will be more appealing. This is linked to the idea that men are attracted to women who seem like they have a 'luxury product,' implying that confidence can elevate a woman's perceived worth.

💡Type

'Type' in this context refers to the specific qualities or characteristics that a person is attracted to in a partner. The speaker warns that if a man is not attracted to a woman's 'type,' or if he is not ready for a relationship, no amount of effort from the woman will change his mind. This highlights the importance of recognizing and respecting personal preferences and readiness for commitment.

💡Space

The concept of 'space' in the video refers to the need for personal time and distance in a relationship. The speaker advises that when a man asks for space, it is important to respect this request rather than trying to close the gap. This is tied to the idea that healthy relationships require room for autonomy and that constant proximity can be overwhelming.

💡Attraction

'Attraction' in the video is discussed in terms of both physical and emotional appeal. The speaker notes that while physical attraction might be initial, it is the emotional connection and shared values that sustain a relationship. The video warns against focusing solely on physical appearance and emphasizes the importance of compatibility in values and life goals.

💡Commitment

Commitment in the video is the willingness to make a long-term promise or dedication to a relationship. The speaker discusses how men in their early 20s may not be ready for the level of commitment that some women seek, suggesting that women should either wait for a more mature partner or look for someone who shares their readiness for a serious relationship.

💡Independence

'Independence' in the video script is the state of being self-reliant and not relying on others for one's happiness or sense of self. The speaker encourages women to maintain their independence and not to change their values or desires to fit someone else's expectations. This is linked to the idea of not trying to change a man who is not interested or who has different values.

💡Selection

The concept of 'selection' in the video refers to the idea that women should be proactive in choosing the men they want to be with, rather than waiting for men to choose them. The speaker suggests that women should give signs of interest to the men they like, but should not chase them. This is about taking control of one's romantic life and making intentional choices.

Highlights

Doing more for a man does not necessarily make him value you more.

Men often perceive additional effort as a sign of their own value, not your value.

Valuing yourself and investing time in yourself can make a man value you more.

Men value things that time, money, effort, and energy are spent on.

Men do not want a constant 'spicy' or confrontational relationship.

Men appreciate an interesting woman who can see them in a positive light.

Being 'hard to get but easy to be with' is a desirable trait in a woman.

Maintaining playfulness and femininity is key to being easy to be with.

Confidence is attractive; knowing your worth is crucial.

If a man is not ready for a relationship, no amount of persuasion will change his mind.

Young men in their early 20s are often not ready for serious commitments.

Respecting a man's need for space is essential in a relationship.

Trying to change a man is futile; accept him for who he is or move on.

Women should take the initiative to show interest in a man they like.

Physical attraction fades; shared values and mutual respect are more important in the long term.

Sleeping with a man early in the relationship does not necessarily make him more attached.

If a man is unsure about a relationship, it's wise for the woman to be unsure as well.

Transcripts

if you are ready I will impart some

wisdom on you right about now I'm going

to tell you what I wish I knew in my 20s

about men that I know now had I known

then my life would have been a lot

easier maybe not easier I don't know

maybe we're meant to just experience

these things as they happen but let me

tell you these are the things that I

wish I knew I don't know how many there

will be it will be in the title The

amount of things will be in the title

but here I am in my 30s about to impart

that wisdom so let's get into it number

one doing more for them does not equal

them valuing you

more let's pause for a second doing more

for them does not equal them valuing you

more there is this jux position of ideas

here because normally when we do more at

school when we do more for our friends

when we do more in life more value comes

out of it but unlike normal things men

are not the same they are not the same

sometimes they take from the fact that

you are doing more for them not the fact

that you are more valuable but the fact

that they are more valuable what they

see in your actions and doing more let's

say you're cooking for them you're

looking after them you're calling them

you're making sure their mental health

is mental healthing from that they do

not take the fact that you are valuable

they don't see those actions As You Are

amazing or you like them they see these

actions as I must deserve them that is

the male mindset that I must deserve

them if she is doing them because men do

not do things for people they don't see

value in so your doing this is adding to

his

valuessouth postpartum and after I have

my children I get thyroiditis which is

like hyperthyroid so if I'm talking a

little bit faster I get my blood test

results next week if I'm a little bit

more excited about this it's my thyroid

talking okay but the facts are still

fating the facts are still real the

thyroid might be doing the excitement

but the facts are still real number two

valuing yourself and putting

yourself first and putting a high price

on your time does make man value you

more so you might be thinking so okay me

doing things for him does not make him

value me what does Margarita I'm telling

you fact number two that I wish I knew

in my 20s is men value you through the

Paradigm of the amount of time and

effort you put into yourself have you

ever seen the amount of time and effort

a man puts into his car the old Banger

that he red does and reframes and does

all these things and Mak make sure it's

parked in the right garage and make sure

it's shine shoe D I know no car

terminology so I don't know what I'm

saying but what I am saying is in the

man's mind the thing that holds value is

a thing that time money effort and

energy is spent on so when he is

assessing you and you're putting a lot

of time into him and nothing into

yourself D he's done the calculation and

men in the comments are going to deny

this cuz they don't want you to know

this truth and this fact but it is the

truth and it is The Facts of

Life they will calculate that you are

not worth valuing much even if you are

the best thing since sliced bread even

if he initially adored you and wanted

you the value of you will go down and

that is a shame baby because you're

amazing the way to make him see you

differently is to actually put time into

yourself and furthermore forget the men

in this conversation for a second don't

you want to put more into yourself

don't you want to put more time effort

and energy into yourself because at the

end of the day even if it doesn't work

out with Gary or Brad you would have up

to the ante of who you are you would

have done growing you would have done

developing and evolving so forget him

for a second and understand this stop

doing for him what he's not asked you to

do stop running around like a headless

chicken and then resenting him when he

doesn't value you for it and instead

understand huh I'm going to put

something into myself and in his manb

brain he's going to equate the fact that

okay she's not doing anything for me

that I haven't asked her to do now

you're still a kind person if he asked

you for help you can help him we're not

talking about that or he asked you to

cook him a meal fine cook him the meal

girl go for it do what whatever you want

to do but the point is you put into

yourself you want to go get your hair

done you want to go get your nails done

cool do it let's come out of the nail

and hair category you go and do your

degree you need to go do your studies

you go study you don't drop that and go

meet him you want to see your aunt or

your mom you go do that you don't drop

everything to go and meet him that's

going to add value to you number three

men don't want a spicy Saucy fight every

day despite what romcoms have told you

they want an interesting woman in their

life but one who will help them see

themselves in the best light now that

was a really long sentence but let's

check it out again we are led to believe

as women because we're the ones who

watch romcoms or we are the ones who

watch 50 Shades of Gray that men want

this like spicy Saucy woman who's like

yeah whatever don't tell me no no no and

then he'll chase you and then somehow

make you succumb to his will and you

know this is all the like Pride and

Prejudice and all that kind of notion

that we get if you find a man you really

like you need to be an interesting woman

one that he can oppose in opinions and

have some kind of you know oppositional

conversation with that's that's true he

doesn't want just like this bean bag of

a woman who has no opinions but he wants

to see himself as amazing through your

eyes that's the whole notion of

femininity he wants to see himself as

this incredible man through your eyes

like when you see him when you witness

him these statements of like you're an

incredible man or you make me feel safe

or all that kind of stuff is really

important because he wants to the type

of woman a man would struggle to leave

and I tell you this many times is the

type of woman who makes him feel like

the man he wants to be that is the

biggest Crux that you need to understand

so these romcoms will sell us the idea

that women you know that we want to be

like this hard to get spicy woman who

makes his life hell basically and he's

like no Samantha please please let's

just be together he's like no because

you don't like the color I like stupid

that's not what men want and then women

are surprised when they act all saw

soury spicy and psycho that the guy they

want doesn't want them back you've got

to have a secure attachment to you and

people who are secure don't go around

presenting like a psychopath the point

is about someone who's secure and

confident that is so attractive it's

like a Tik Tok I saw where it's like a

nonchalant guy she's like oh I hate your

car he's like yeah that's all right

she's like you don't look like you go to

the gym and he's like yeah I don't go to

the gym and he in all the comments seen

like so attractive by the women because

people who are nonchalant and they're

accepting and a bit stoic and secure are

very attractive so don't be a spicy

Chihuahua be an interesting woman with

an opinion but spicy Chihuahua no number

four it's not about hard to get it's

about hard to get but easy to be

with you know what I mean you are not

hard to get by proxy of you acting hard

to get and being an [ __ ] you are hard

to get by the fact that you've got a

busy life but when you are with him

you're easy to be with if you can Master

hard to get but easy to be

with all men will be yours let me tell

you because the experience of being with

the feminine or being with a woman you

want for a man is all about you know fun

it's playfulness the idea of preserving

femininity as you grow up we don't age

we grow up okay is about maintaining

playfulness a lot of times playful is

like beaten out of women in society and

I get why life gets hard with children

and everything and it just gets tiring

if you can maintain your playfulness

girl you can maintain your femininity

and your youth in so many ways being

easy to be with is really hard for a lot

of women because they build resentment

from how a man treats them and by proxy

of building that resentment they want

him to know how much he's annoyed her

and hurt her when he's with her

so they do this thing where they're

always available whenever he knocks or

calls at 4:00 a.m. whatever but when he

does

arrive they switch on this like [ __ ]

demeanor and I love a [ __ ] demeanor

that's cool I love it I love a [ __ ]

gal but if you're going to be easy to be

to to get basically you can contact you

any point and see you and that's not a

problem but at the same time you're

going to be just a [ __ ] to be with

that's not how you get people enamored

with you and that's not how you feel

good about yourself either and that's

the bottom line of all these things that

I wish I knew in my 20s anyway like what

is the point of me just waiting on the

phone for him to contact me and want to

hang out with me and then when I do see

him I'm like didn't want to see me last

week bet you were busy doing D no it's

not about that it's like this build your

life if he doesn't fit into it because

he's always last minute then he's going

to fall away any anyway if he does make

time to see you see him when you're

happy to see him see him when you're in

your flow and your good energy it's not

going to make him change I know what

you're thinking you're like but

Margarita how's it going to make him

know that he shouldn't contact me last

minute well say it like a big woman with

your chest say I really don't like it

when you contact me last minute so if

you want to see me let me know in

advance and drop it there you don't need

to be hard to be with be easy to be with

think about it in friendships like if

you didn't turn your girlfriend's call

because you were so busy genuinely and

people can be genuinely busy you need to

understand that men aren't like a

against us it's like not an oppositional

Force right so if he was genuinely like

with his family or something and then

you were just this angry raccoon at him

and so annoying to be with and just

weird is that going to make you want to

be with him would that make you want to

be with a friend of yours imagine you

didn't reply to her and she's like all

right whatever you didn't reply to me so

why would I hang out with you but yeah

let's see each other anyway but you're

such a [ __ ]

friend no miss me with that number five

is if you're confident you will be

attractive to him confidence means

knowing your product has value and by

that I mean I see a lot of DMS from you

guys from women talking about how do I

mention that I want to get married or

how do I mention I want a longterm

relationship you're acting like you're

the biggest piece of trash at the bin

that all the juices from the bin and the

trash and everything has gone down to

and you're just like stuck to the bottom

of the bin you're you're acting like

people would be disgusted at the notion

of being around you or being with you

and you're like how do I let them know

that I want a relationship with me the

piece of trash at the bottom of the bin

I'm so disgusting how do I know that me

this disgusting bin trash wants to get

married babe understand that your

product AKA You has value have you ever

gone into a luxury store and people are

like I'm so sorry this disgusting bag I

know how do I let you know that that

we're trying to sell it no they're like

it's not even for sale for you you have

to get on the wait list think about

every brand that is luxurious you have

to get on the wait list for that bck and

you've got to get on that wait list for

the Bugatti or whatever it is I don't

know caruse but you know what I'm saying

you've got to get on the wait list and

if any of you come for me for equating

women to objects I miss me with that I

don't want it I don't want to know it

this is not the place I'm not pedantic

in language and I love a metaphor I live

for a metaphor so if you live for a

metaphor you're welcome on this channel

and on this podcast by the way if you

have not subscribed I would really

appreciate it genuinely From The Bottom

Of Me art I'd really appreciate it

because it's effort to make this and it

lets me know that you want this content

so leave five stars subscribe follow I'd

really appreciate it next fact that I

wish I knew about men that when I tell

you you will not listen but I will tell

you anyway if you're not his type or he

is not

ready leave it leave him alone he will

not change his mind there's nothing you

can do there is no cool thing you can

say there is no acrobatic thing you can

do in the

bedroom there is no boob job you can get

there is nothing and if he is sure and

you are his type then there's almost

nothing you can do to put him off I know

that's really strange to say but it is

the truth that if you are not his type

and he is not ready you can pay him a

billion dollars and he will not be sure

and not be ready and it's a painful

thing to acknowledge like when I was

younger I thought that perhaps I can

work on someone's attraction for me I

just remembered oh my God memory

flooding back there was this guy that I

really really liked and he just did not

want a bar of me let's call him David

his name did start with a D so let's

call him David and and he was just not

interested and the amount I thought

about him I think it was like an ego

problem like I could not believe that

somebody no matter what I did was not

interested in me but leave it it's not

for you because at the end of the day as

a woman to develop your feminine energy

and to live this life in the purposeful

way you want to live it you do not want

to be with the guy who didn't want you

but you convinced him first of all it

never happens but second of all if

that's not convinced you this will

the fact that he didn't want you but you

had to do something to make him want you

what else are you going to have to do in

that relationship what are you going to

have to do jump through hoops or

whatever and I know you're thinking

right now if you're obsessed with a guy

yeah I'm willing to do that you're not

because it's going to get old because

your spirit and your soul is going to

get so like put down by their experience

that you're not going to want it anymore

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of tailing off the last one is if he's

not sure you shouldn't be either I wish

I knew in my 20s that if a guy isn't

sure if he's like yeah maybe we should

just date and you know see how it goes

or all these things but you're putting

100% eggs in that basket as soon as he

says I'm not sure you should not be sure

as well you should start dating other

people and I don't mean like in this

like I'll just date other people

rotational dating I don't know what the

terminology is but if he's not sure

you're not sure because if he's not sure

about you you're not sure about him and

it's not a tip fortat situation but

everyone who listens to my

show understands that relationship and

family is deep at the core of what I am

trying to talk to you about it's not

just about dating it's about moving

forward building the life you want and

all these things and if you are trying

to build it with someone who's not sure

it's like trying to build a business

with a business partner who's not sure

about you don't try and sell something

to somebody who's not willing you've got

to be 100% in hence the case for

marriage that 100% of both of you are in

and you're in this together and neither

of you are leaving no matter what so

that's the case for that the next thing

I wish I knew in my 20s about

men and a lot of you DM me about this

but I never reply because I don't know

how to phrase it because there is a

minor exception to the rule maybe like a

2 percentile exception to the

rule but mostly young men are not ready

for the relationship that you are

looking for he is 22 years old he is not

ready to be a provider and a father and

and all these things now there are that

2% and some might say it's a hormonal

thing men in their early 20s are very

high

testosterone and low in the hormone that

makes men commit what is that hormone

come on thyroid give me my memory back I

cannot remember but if you look it up

there's a hormone that men oxytocin

maybe that goes up later in men's life

that makes them actually Bond whilst in

the beginning they're very high

testosterone like look at young men

they're very fiery high testosterone

they want to you know they don't get

attached that's the hormone that stops

them from getting attached and later in

life testosterone drops and they get

more of the hormone that makes them

attached and furthermore they're just

more ready for that in life so if you're

not dating that 2 to 5 percentile of

young men who are ready to wife you

maybe due to religious reasons or other

reasons I would strongly suggest that as

fun as it is to date when you're young

if you are looking oh my baby's crying I

might have to bring her into the

shot if you are dating to get

married either you wait into your 30s or

you look for an older guy and by older I

don't mean 50 I just mean in their 30s

and ready to take that step with you let

me get this child okay I got my little

handheld mammal she's here and going to

continue with the points when he needs

space closing the Gap will make even a

good guy run this is really hard to

understand in your 20s because all

you're trying to do is trying to

basically self soothe so when a guy is

asking for space or running away or

doing all these things like wanting to

be with his friends or even

communicating clearly to you I would

like more space and instead of

respecting it you are showing up at his

house being like Oh but I bought tickets

to this or you might be doing it a lot

more in a space like why would you need

space I thought you and I were dating

all these things the reality is even a

good guy will be put off by that because

healthy relationships need space but you

as a younger woman might believe unless

you're securely attached that you need

to close that Gap because you are

panicking oh my God he's running away

from me we're not going to be together

it's going to be really bad you're

trying to put a Band-Aid on the fact

that you feel like he doesn't want to be

with you the reality is you need to let

that guy go as soon as he says I want

space you need to be like run baby run

because number one if he's healthy and

normal he will have that space of 5

minutes and then he will come running

back to you because you'll be like wow I

miss her I have assessed I've been

without her it's really easy for a man

to assess how much you mean to him when

you are not right up close into his face

and that is healthy and you both need

that or if he's the type of guy who just

wants to avoid if he's avoidant down to

like the worst avoidant can that you can

be then let him go he will run away and

let him run free like a bird that he is

run Run free run wild my guy because we

don't need you here anyway you trying to

close the gap will make even a good man

run away from you because it's the Law

of Attraction he says I need space he

walks away a bit you're right behind his

back he walks away a bit more you are

you trying to grab the microphone my

daughter is trying to grab this

microphone she is saying put me on put

me on I'm going to tell them what I wish

I knew about men when I was 2 months old

it's going to make even a good man run

away because people want their space

human beings want space human beings

need to feel autonomous and like they

are in their own right and they can make

decisions so a good man will see you

always closing the Gap he won't have an

opportunity to miss you he won't have an

opportunity to see you from a part of

himself one of the most times someone

seems the most attractive in life is

when you see them doing something that

they are amazing at like doing their

PowerPoint or skiing if they're really

good at skiing and if you're always

behind his back stalking him he never

gets to see that from you number

next maybe sometimes you are the problem

let people be who they are and do not

try to change them if somebody's not

interested in you or they are interested

in you but they're just not the type of

person for you if they have different

values to you if they don't want the

same things you want and instead of

accepting them for who they are you try

and change them because you have the

audacity to believe that everybody

should live like you want to live and

change for you then you are the problem

in your 20s in my 20s I did not

understand that and I wish I knew that

like if someone's always late or if

someone doesn't like what I like or if

somebody doesn't want the relationship

that I want I thought I just have to

explain it to them enough for them to

want what I want and have my values that

is not true when someone shows you who

they are believe them if there's

somebody who isn't interested late only

interested in sex with you let them be

who they are stop trying to change

people next pick the man don't let the

man pick you I wish in my 20s I knew

that the idea that I'm just out there

and the man that is meant for me will

find

me is not right we as women drop the

handkerchief we as women see the guy

that we're interested in and have to

give him a sign of our interest we have

to give that man a sign of our interest

how do you do it ask him to hold your

coat drop the handkerchief

metaphorically speaking smile at him

look at him for too long there's all

these ways I talk about it in my

feminine energy course on margar

nazareno docomo check that out if you

haven't checked it out I talk about

these things a lot but the point being

pick the man you want it doesn't mean

you chase him never chase the man but

pick the man you want give him a sign

because a lot of times equality men

they're not going to come up to you

because they've been taught about the me

too movement they've been taught that

talking to you at the gym is uh cause

for concern so if you like him look at

him for a bit too long say he looks

great in something and then stop that is

the way to do it so don't chase him but

give him the sign pick the man the man

should not pick you next despite

thinking that looks is what will attract

you to him in the long term if he is not

the type of man that you want to be with

quality-wise and value-wise and how he

sees you and how he my daughter is

laughing at me that's so funny this is

not funny you need to listen to this

baby her name is Valentina you need to

listen to these points okay I'm telling

you these points so you can understand

and value what I'm saying so looks is

not all there is you might be attracted

to him at first but due to the fact that

you're a woman the looks will fade real

quick fast and sharp if he does not have

the same values like you will put six

foot into the dating apps don't you

right stop putting 5'8 or something see

what other men there are out there I'm

just using height as an example he can

look very sexy very quickly if he has

the same values as you wants to provide

for you and just sees you as a goddess

as opposed to that six-foot guy who is

not interested and I know right now

you're like no but he's sexy like I'm so

attracted to him he won't be he won't be

when you're paying for all your children

and you're working two jobs and he's

lying on the sofa because he's not

interested and he never was he's not

going to be sexy trust and believe and

number last if you've met him and you

want him to be attracted to you so you

sleep with him because you believe make

him attached because it makes us women

attached because hormonally that's how

we're base we sleep with them enough at

the start we think that we've conceived

their child biologically even though you

know intelligently that you haven't

because you're on the pill but your

body's like oh this could be the father

of our child quick lock him down so that

he provides for us and our children and

we don't die in the cave despite the

fact that it makes you attached and you

know that it will not make him attached

there is no amount of acrobatics you can

do if he's not interested in you that

will make him attach to you quite the

contrary my

friend if you do not do that with him

until you are ready genuinely ready then

it will make him quite interested in you

it's not going to make him lock you down

because you've done some kind of

gymnastics for him and it's not going to

make him more attracted to you or more

interested in you it's just not going

to all the secrets are in here okay this

book that I've just slammed shut for

those who are not watching anyway those

are the things I wish that I knew in my

20s about men suggest another

title that you would like to see next

time go on my Instagram go on my Tik Tok

any way you want suggest it things that

I might teach my son about women or

things I wish i' I'm here for you and I

will deliver love you lots like jelly

tots and I'll see you or I'll hear you

on the next one and thanks for Lending

me your ears

ciao

[Music]

you