My grandmother taught me this lesson l will never forget

Summary

In this YouTube video, the host shares a personal story about her grandmother's wisdom on self-worth and relationships. She discusses the emotional manipulation men can use against women and offers advice on how to recognize and avoid such tactics. Emphasizing the importance of emotional control and strategic use of emotions, she encourages women to value themselves and not be easily swayed by men's actions.

Takeaways

• 🌟 The speaker's grandmother taught her the importance of knowing her worth and not letting others fool her.
• 😢 The speaker grieved her grandmother's death while on holiday in Thailand, finding solace in the company of friends.
• 🗣️ The grandmother emphasized the speaker's beauty and advised her to marry a 'handsome' (good-hearted) man.
• 💪 The grandmother's advice was rooted in the patriarchal society they lived in, where women's voices were often suppressed.
• 👥 The grandmother encouraged the speaker to speak up and use her voice, despite societal norms.
• 😔 The speaker acknowledges the emotional nature of women and how men can exploit this to their advantage.
• 🚫 The speaker warns against falling for manipulative tactics such as jealousy induction and love bombing.
• 🕐 Patience is key in relationships; the speaker advises waiting to see a man's actions before fully investing emotionally.
• 🤔 The speaker reflects on her past toxic relationship, analyzing how she was drawn in by emotional manipulation.
• 🐶 The speaker values loyalty and consistency, as exemplified by her relationship with her dog compared to the unpredictability of men.
• 💰 The speaker stresses that a man's wealth or status should not overshadow a woman's self-worth and importance.
• 😭 She shares a personal story of using strategic emotion (crying) to gain control in a situation.

Q & A

What advice did the speaker's grandmother give her about relationships?

The speaker's grandmother advised her to know her worth and not to let men fool her. She emphasized marrying a handsome man, equating it with a good soul and a good person.

How did the speaker's grandmother influence her understanding of self-worth?

The speaker's grandmother taught her to speak up, use her voice, and never be afraid, instilling in her the importance of self-worth and the ability to recognize her own value.

What was the cultural context of the speaker's upbringing regarding women's roles?

The speaker grew up in a patriarchal society where women were considered to have no value unless they were with a man, and women did not have a voice in society.

How does the speaker describe the emotional differences between men and women?

The speaker describes women as emotional beings, which is a strength because it allows them to be caregivers and mothers. However, she also points out that men have exploited this emotional nature to their advantage.

What strategies does the speaker suggest for women to protect themselves from emotional manipulation?

The speaker suggests that women should control their emotions, be patient, and always look at a man's actions rather than his words. She advises waiting and seeing what kind of effort a man puts in at the beginning of a relationship.

How does the speaker describe the 'love bump' technique used by men?

The 'love bump' technique is described as a manipulative tactic where a man flirts with a woman, then leaves her for another woman, causing an emotional reaction. When he returns, the woman is more attached to him.

What personal experience does the speaker share about a toxic relationship?

The speaker shares an experience where she was attracted to a man who made her jealous by flirting with another woman. This caused an emotional response, and she ended up in a toxic relationship with him.

Why did the speaker get a dog, and how does it relate to her view on relationships?

The speaker got a dog because she had a lot of love to give and needed an outlet for her emotions. The dog provides unconditional love and is always there for her, unlike a man who might not be reliable.

What advice does the speaker give about how women should approach the beginning of a relationship?

The speaker advises women to switch off their emotions at the beginning of a relationship, lock their hearts, and wait to see a man's actions before getting emotionally invested.

How does the speaker suggest using emotions strategically in relationships?

The speaker suggests using emotions strategically by understanding that men often use women's emotions against them. By controlling one's emotions and using them intentionally, a woman can avoid being manipulated.

Outlines

00:00

🌍 Cultural Wisdom and Emotional Strength

The speaker shares a personal story about her grandmother's passing and the life lessons she learned from her. Her grandmother's advice to know her worth and not be fooled by others resonates deeply. The paragraph discusses the societal pressures and patriarchal norms the speaker grew up with, and how her grandmother taught her to speak up and use her voice. The speaker also talks about the emotional nature of women and how men can exploit this, advising women to control their emotions to gain power in relationships.

05:02

💔 The Manipulation of Emotions in Relationships

This paragraph details the speaker's experience with a toxic relationship and how she was emotionally manipulated. She explains the 'love bump' technique where a man's attention to another woman can make a woman feel more attached to him. The speaker emphasizes the importance of not letting emotions dictate actions, especially in the beginning of a relationship. She advises women to be patient, observe a man's actions, and not to rush into things. The speaker also shares her own strategy of using emotions strategically in relationships.

10:05

🎭 Using Emotions as a Tool

In this paragraph, the speaker recounts a specific incident where she used her acting skills to fake emotions to gain the upper hand in a relationship. She advises women to know the 'game' men play and to use their emotions strategically, not out of manipulation, but to protect themselves from being used. The speaker concludes by encouraging women to value themselves and not let men fool them, inviting viewers to share their stories of being used by men.

Keywords

💡Emotional

Emotional refers to the feelings and affective states that individuals experience. In the video, the speaker emphasizes the emotional nature of women, suggesting it is a strength that enables them to be caregivers and mothers. However, she also cautions that men may exploit women's emotions, which is a central theme of the video. For example, she recounts how her emotions were manipulated in a past relationship, illustrating the need for emotional control.

💡Patriarchy

Patriarchy is a social system in which men hold primary power and are dominant in roles of political leadership, moral authority, social privilege, and control of property. The video discusses how the speaker grew up in a society with a patriarchal core, where women's voices are often silenced unless they are associated with a man. This concept is used to highlight the challenges women face in asserting their independence and value.

💡Manipulation

Manipulation is the act of influencing someone or something in a clever or unscrupulous way. The video script describes how men may use manipulation techniques such as making women jealous or playing on their emotions to gain control in relationships. The speaker provides an example of a past relationship where she was manipulated by a man who used the 'love bump' technique to make her feel more attached to him.

💡Self-worth

Self-worth refers to one's own sense of value or esteem. The grandmother in the video script advised the speaker to know her worth and not to be fooled by others. This advice is central to the video's message, which encourages women to recognize their own value and not to be diminished by others, particularly in romantic relationships.

💡Toxic Relationship

A toxic relationship is one where there is a pattern of harmful behavior, including manipulation, control, and emotional abuse. The speaker discusses her past toxic relationship as a cautionary tale, highlighting the importance of recognizing and leaving such relationships. This keyword is integral to the video's narrative, as it provides a personal example of the challenges women face.

💡Validation

Validation is the process of confirming the truth or value of something. In the context of the video, the speaker talks about not needing a man to validate her existence or worth. This concept is tied to the broader theme of self-worth and self-reliance, emphasizing that women should not seek validation from others but should instead recognize their own value.

💡Emotionally Intelligent

Emotionally intelligent refers to the ability to understand, use, and manage one's own emotions in positive ways. The video encourages women to be emotionally intelligent by controlling their emotions and not letting them be used against them. The speaker provides advice on how to manage emotions strategically in relationships to avoid being manipulated.

💡Humble

To humble means to reduce or lower someone's pride or self-esteem. The video script suggests that women should humble men who try to make themselves more important than the women they are with. This keyword is used in the context of asserting one's own value and not allowing oneself to be diminished in a relationship.

💡Dopamine Drop

A dopamine drop refers to a decrease in the levels of the neurotransmitter dopamine, which is associated with pleasure and reward. The speaker describes a 'dopamine drop' as a result of a man's behavior in a past relationship, which left her feeling a sudden loss of pleasure or interest. This concept is used to explain the physiological response to emotional manipulation.

💡Wait and See

Wait and see is a strategy of delaying action until a situation becomes clearer. The video advises women to adopt a 'wait and see' approach in relationships, urging them to observe a man's actions over time before committing emotionally. This strategy is presented as a way to avoid being quickly fooled or manipulated.

💡Intimidate

To intimidate is to inspire fear or worry in someone, often to make them less confident. The speaker mentions that she intimidates men, including powerful ones, which is a way of asserting her own strength and independence. This keyword is used to illustrate the power dynamics in relationships and the speaker's ability to challenge them.

Highlights

Grandmother's advice about not being fooled by others

Emotional impact of a toxic relationship and the support from gay friends

The importance of knowing one's own value and worth

The societal patriarchy and the lack of voice for women

Grandmother's teachings on speaking up and using one's voice

Emotions as a strength and a tool for manipulation by men

The emotional difference between men and women

Strategic use of emotions to gain power in relationships

The role of patience and observation in dating

The importance of actions over words in evaluating a partner

The emotional manipulation technique of making a woman jealous

The realization of being hooked by a man's emotional tactics

Controlling emotions to prevent being used by men

The advice to not text or act on emotions early in a relationship

The unpredictability of men and the need to wait and see

The importance of not rushing into a relationship

Using emotions strategically in relationships

The story of faking emotions to gain control in a relationship

The grandmother's final advice not to let men fool you

Transcripts

so my grandmother used to tell me do not

let them fool you I had a discussion

with my makeup artist I just had a photo

shoot I was called to do this video hi

everyone welcome back to my YouTube

channel I'm so happy for you your life

is going to change a year ago my

grandmother loved this Earth and I was

in Thailand um I went for holidays there

to um get away from a toxic relationship

that I had at that time and my

grandmother uh passed away and my sister

just told me by message and usually my

family never tells me when there's bad

news but however I was in good company I

was with my gay friends and I had a

blast however after this for like few

months a memory of my grandmother kept

repeating I kept remembering this one

particular particular time that I was at

her house so one day I was at her house

and she looked at me with admiration and

she said do you know you're very

beautiful so I did not really reply and

then she raised her voice and she said

that do you know you're very

beautiful and I I said yeah yeah thank

you like you know and then she looked at

me in guys and she's like you make sure

you marry a handsome man so at her time

handsome equals to good Soul good

person and

she raised her voice even more and she

said look at me do not let them fool you

my grandmother tried to warn me many

times to know my value and to know my

worth she always always always try to

insert in my brain woman can get played

by men

so the country I grew up patriarchy is

at its core core you don't exist if you

are a woman as unless you are with a man

society is male dominated and women do

not have a voice however my grandmother

always taught me how to speak up how to

use my voice and never be afraid

whenever this woman will speak I felt

like it's not her it's like God speaking

through her knowledge is power okay this

is the exact information you need only

to beat any player at his own game and

to find a good man first of all let's

speak some truths okay facts we women

are built very different from men we are

very emotional we're emotional beings

and that's beautiful because that is

what makes us mothers okay we will not

be able to be caregivers if we will not

have

emotions

but the downside of this is that men

have men understood this and they

figured this out since very long time

problem is that men know this as well

and they have been using our emotions to

our disadvantage having emotions and

being an emotional being is a beautiful

thing you would then be able to to have

children otherwise right but you have to

understand the difference between us and

men if you take your emotions and you

are able to control your emotions you

take the power a man has on you which is

emotions men use a lot of techniques you

know they use you they gasl light you

the love bump you they say a lot of

before they get what they want

once they get what they want they become

complete so you have to be

intelligent you have to always always

always always look at the actions and

you have to

wait love of first side dating apps all

these things are wait and see

the actions what are the dates that he's

taking you is he putting any effort it

doesn't matter how much money he has you

know guy is interested with a girl he

will do anything especially at the

beginning that they're trying to impress

us you know so you have to be patient

with guys I intimidate men a lot and

even the most powerful ones I do

intimidate them so I'll tell you what

they do and how I got hooked once when I

was uh with this uh toxic relationship

that I had like I was like how did I got

into this relationship with these ups

and downs and such a toxic um person how

did I go looked I was trying to remember

so I met this uh ex um at one of the

parties that I I I traveled to um this

country

whatever and my friend tried to

introduce me with him but I found him

very short and I did not really liked

him I was interested but anyway he was

far away and this guy he basically came

close to me and he tried to flirt with

me again the short guy and at one point

I started

vipingo because he was with me he was

wiping with me and then he left me and

he went with another girl so in my body

there was like a huge

dopamine drop or like the chemicals in

my body that's what happened and then he

he left that girl and he came back to me

and I was like a puppy to him okay

that's how he hooked me because they do

it as a technique to make you hooked

with them especially how short this guy

was I was like I don't even like short

guys you know I was like he so short how

did I got hooked with him I understood

like is all these chemicals imbalances

my

ego that no that men do that

they try to make you jealous with other

woman so you are more hooked with them

it's like a technique of manipulation

I'm so sure that most of them are even

stupid to understand that they have this

power over our emotions and over making

us gals like because majority of women

are insecure so the next time a man

tries to make you gals with other woman

be unbothered don't watch them uh feel

that you are the most powerful and the

most beautiful woman in the room because

he is very lucky to have you that men

know they know your weakness which is

your emotions but if you are able to

control your emotions no one can use

your emotions against you at the

beginning of the relationship you should

hold your emotions don't text you know

we do a lot of stupid things when

because of our emotions you want to act

logically you don't want to act based on

your emotions and we're complex our

emotions like before my period I want to

kill

people I I wan to

like but then after my period I'm happy

you know never act on your emotion it's

okay we're a woman it's beautiful we

have emotions listen you know what I did

because I have all these emotions and I

have all this love to give I got a dog

like my ex hated my dog and another guy

that he tried to date me and I was tell

and I was ditching him to go to meet my

dog I was like no no no I cannot stay

with you I have to go to my dog cuz my

dog will always be home and wait for me

and he will be like so happy to see me

with a man you never know so with man I

have no emotions I see the actions I see

if you have intelligence because you

know it's something rare these days at

the beginning of the relationship you

should switch off your emotions lock

your heart and then you have to wait to

see because you don't know maybe he has

a crazy ex maybe he's crazy himself

maybe he

has like he's a pathological liar maybe

he's a a cuckoo person I don't know like

you have to wait with men don't rush

only losers rush you should see the

action a man will never respect you

first of all if you're too easy and too

desperate and you need like you have to

validate yourself and for me to be

honest I know know I'm beautiful thank

you so much I I don't need a man to tell

me blah blah blah make me feel validated

that I I I deserve to exist I exist

regardless times you have to Humble them

and when a guy tries to make himself

more important than you are because you

are the most important thing you should

tell me and you end up in a Titanic and

they have to choose one person it

doesn't matter who you are how much

money you have they will choose me

always they will choose me because I'm a

woman okay so whenever a guy tries to

make himself more important than you and

even if he's a millionaire billionaire

whatever tell him this you should remind

him and you should humble him once you

humble him he will be crazy for you

because he knows that you know your

worth and use your emotions

strategically so I used to do theater

since I was four years old and to cry

honestly it takes nothing for me I was

with a guy once and he was pressuring me

and he started crying he was like oh no

no no don't cry

please and I was faking it of course

because it takes nothing for me um

acting you just remember a bad memory

and you just cry and I was I had a

couple of drinks so it was easier for me

to cry and

this guy was he he couldn't handle it

like he couldn't know so after that any

command any desire I had it was whatever

I want honest with you don't feel sorry

for that because they use woman the

whole time reverse it reverse it I'm not

telling you to use man but know their

game if you know their game you will be

less likely to be used and they use you

they do it do it the whole time my

grandmother told me do not let them fool

you don't let men use you and if you

ever been used by a man please let me

know in the comments below I would love

to hear your story and I kiss you and

I'll will see you next time