13 Harsh Truths About Men That Women Learn Too Late

Summary

In this insightful video, Ismael Gomez, a coach, writer, and speaker, shares 13 harsh realities about men that women often discover too late. He discusses how men's behavior in relationships is influenced by their perception of a woman's value, the impossibility of unconditional love, and the impact of insecurity on men's actions. Gomez also covers topics such as the transformation men undergo with wealth, the tendency to lie about infidelity, and the importance of not losing oneself in a relationship. He emphasizes the need for understanding these truths to avoid disappointment and heartbreak.

Takeaways

• 💎 A man's treatment of you often reflects how he values you, similar to how one would treat a diamond differently from a regular stone.
• 💔 Expecting unconditional love in a romantic relationship can lead to disappointment, as such love is more typical in familial bonds.
• 🚫 Insecure men may try to diminish the qualities that initially attracted them to you, leading to a loss of attraction and a codependent relationship.
• 💼 Wealth can lead to a transformation in men's behavior, often resulting in a shift in their relationship expectations and desires.
• 🤥 Men are often unlikely to admit to infidelity, often resorting to fabrications to avoid responsibility for their actions.
• 🌟 Being 'nice' is not the primary quality men look for in a partner; they value intelligence, humor, shared interests, and physical attraction more.
• 🏠 A man who is well-liked and fun may not necessarily make a great husband, as the qualities needed for a successful marriage differ from those of a good friend.
• 🚶‍♂️ Men who lack direction in life may not be able to fully commit to a relationship, as they are not driven by their own goals and dreams.
• 🏃‍♂️ Some men are more interested in the chase and conquest of a relationship rather than the relationship itself, leading to a lack of long-term commitment.
• 🔍 Many men may judge a woman based on her past sexual encounters, which can create friction and toxicity in a relationship.
• 💔 Men can be quick to replace a partner, often without a gradual buildup of dissatisfaction, unlike what is typically seen in female behavior.
• 🎬 Exposure to adult content from a young age can lead to unrealistic expectations in relationships, affecting satisfaction and compatibility.
• 🏃‍♂️ Men highly value their freedom and independence, often needing to feel that they can leave a relationship to truly commit to it.

Q & A

What is the first harsh reality about men that Ismael Gomez discusses in the video?

The first harsh reality is that a man will treat you according to the value he sees in you, which means if he perceives you as the most wonderful woman he's ever met, you'll see his dedication and devotion. However, if he seems confused and inconsistent, it's because his intentions with you aren't clear to himself.

Why does Ismael Gomez emphasize that unconditional love is not something to expect from a romantic partner?

Gomez emphasizes that unconditional love is something that ends up causing a lot of suffering in many women. He suggests that romantic relationships are built on mutual benefits, and expecting unconditional love sets one up for disappointment, as it is more applicable to family or pets.

What does Gomez mean when he says an insecure man will try to 'destroy' the things he loves about you?

Gomez explains that an insecure man may try to diminish the qualities that attracted him to you in the first place because he fears other men are attracted to the same qualities. This can lead to isolating you and dimming your light, causing you to become codependent and less attractive to him.

Why does Gomez warn about men who transform after achieving wealth?

Gomez warns that when a man starts making serious money, often in his 40s, he may start receiving attention from women who never noticed him before. This, combined with a midlife crisis, can lead to changes in his behavior and desires, potentially causing him to seek a different kind of partner that fits his new picture of success.

What is the common lie that Gomez says men tell when caught cheating?

Gomez states that many men will lie about cheating, even when caught in the act. They might claim that they were drugged or that the incident was fabricated using AI, rather than admitting to their actions and taking responsibility.

Why does Gomez argue that being a 'great guy' does not necessarily equate to being a 'great husband'?

Gomez argues that being a great husband involves more than just being a likable person or fun to be around. It requires qualities like communication skills, the ability to compromise, and a commitment to supporting and nurturing the relationship in ways that go beyond surface-level interactions.

What is the issue with men who have no direction in life according to Gomez?

Gomez points out that if a man lacks purpose, drive, or passion for his goals and dreams, he cannot be passionate about a partner. A man who is not constructing his life with a clear vision will not appreciate a partner as more than just a source of relaxation.

Why does Gomez suggest that men who intensely chase a woman may not be interested in a relationship?

Gomez suggests that men who intensely chase a woman are often more interested in the pursuit and conquest than in a relationship. Once they have achieved their goal, they may lose interest and seek to chase someone else.

What is the potential impact of men being 'brainwashed' by x-rated content, as mentioned by Gomez?

Gomez warns that exposure to x-rated content from an early age can lead to unrealistic expectations about partners. Men may compare their partners to unrealistic standards seen in such content, which can lead to dissatisfaction in relationships.

How does Gomez describe the value of freedom for men in relationships?

Gomez describes freedom as something that men value above almost everything else. They need to feel that they can leave a relationship if they want to, but they choose to stay because they are captivated and find the relationship worth experiencing until the end.

What advice does Gomez give to women about discussing their past sexual encounters with a partner?

Gomez advises women to be cautious about revealing explicit details of their past sexual encounters, as this can cause friction in the relationship. He suggests that while honesty is important, there is no need to disclose every detail, especially if it could lead to toxicity or unhealthy dynamics.

Outlines

00:00

💎 Perception of Value in Relationships

In this paragraph, Ismael Gomez discusses the concept that a man's behavior towards a woman is influenced by how he perceives her value. If a man sees a woman as exceptional, he is likely to show dedication and devotion. However, if his actions are inconsistent, it may reflect his own uncertainty about his intentions. Gomez emphasizes that this perception is not a measure of the woman's worth but rather how the man views her. He introduces a list of 13 harsh realities about men that women often learn too late, promising to help listeners avoid future disappointment, confusion, and heartbreak.

05:02

🚫 Unconditional Love and Insecurity

This paragraph delves into the unrealistic expectation of unconditional love in romantic relationships. Gomez advises against expecting a man to love a woman no matter what, as this often leads to disappointment. He explains that romantic relationships are built on mutual benefits, not unconditional affection, which is more typical of familial or pet relationships. He also touches on the destructive nature of insecure men who may try to diminish the qualities that attracted them to their partners in the first place, leading to a loss of attraction and codependency.

💼 Transformation and Wealth

Gomez talks about how men's perspectives on relationships can change as they accumulate wealth, especially around their 40s. He suggests that men who settle down in their 20s or 30s may do so because they find a suitable partner at that time. However, newfound success and attention from other women, coupled with a midlife crisis, can lead to a shift in their desires and expectations, causing them to seek a different kind of partner that aligns with their new definition of success.

🤥 Deception in Infidelity

In this paragraph, the speaker addresses the issue of men lying about their infidelity. He describes scenarios where men deny or fabricate stories to avoid admitting to cheating, even in the face of undeniable evidence. Gomez points out that most men would rather face extreme consequences than admit to betraying their partners, although he acknowledges that there are rare cases where men do take responsibility and work on their behavior.

🤔 Prioritizing More Than Niceness

Gomez highlights that being nice is not the primary quality men look for in a partner. While politeness is appreciated and expected, men are more attracted to qualities such as intelligence, a good sense of humor, shared interests, physical attraction, and an emotional connection. He warns against the misconception that niceness alone can sustain a relationship or win a man's love.

🎯 The Importance of Direction in Life

The paragraph emphasizes the importance of a man having direction in life and being driven by his goals and dreams. Gomez argues that a man who lacks purpose or passion is unlikely to be passionate about his partner. He uses the analogy of a man constructing a garden, suggesting that a man who knows what he wants will appreciate a woman more if she fits into his vision for his life.

🏃‍♂️ The Chase vs. the Relationship

Here, Gomez discusses the difference between men who want a relationship and those who are only interested in the chase. He explains that secure men will express interest but will not chase aggressively. In contrast, men who intensely pursue women are often seeking the thrill of the conquest and may lose interest once they have achieved it, leading them to chase someone new.

👀 The Impact of Past Relationships

The speaker warns about the potential negative effects of disclosing too much about one's past relationships, including the number of sexual encounters. While honesty is important, revealing every detail can cause friction and lead to unhealthy dynamics in a relationship. Gomez advises against using past relationships to provoke jealousy, as it can result in long-term toxicity.

🔄 The Speed of Replacement

Gomez describes how men can quickly move on from one relationship to another, often without showing signs of dissatisfaction beforehand. He contrasts this with women, who may take longer to reach a breaking point due to a slow buildup of tension. He suggests that men's behavior in this regard can be sudden and unexpected, leaving their partners confused and hurt.

🧠 The Influence of X-Rated Content

The paragraph addresses the impact of x-rated content on men's expectations of their partners. Gomez explains that exposure to such content from an early age can lead to unrealistic standards and dissatisfaction in relationships. He points out that men may compare their partners to the unrealistic portrayals they have seen, which can affect the satisfaction and dynamics of their relationships.

🏋️‍♂️ The Value of Freedom

In the final paragraph, Gomez discusses the high value that men place on their freedom and independence. He suggests that men feel their power is being taken away if they are forced to commit or show love. Using an analogy of a movie theater, he explains that men need to feel they can leave but choose to stay because they are captivated by the relationship, not because they feel trapped.

Keywords

💡Value

In the context of the video, 'value' refers to the worth or importance that an individual assigns to another person or thing. It is central to the theme as it explains how a man's behavior towards a woman is influenced by the value he perceives in her. For example, the script mentions that if a man sees a woman as the most wonderful person he's ever met, he will show dedication and devotion.

💡Dedication

'Dedication' is the commitment and loyalty one shows to a person or cause. It is used in the script to describe the consistent and devoted behavior a man may exhibit if he highly values a woman, indicating a strong bond and serious intentions in the relationship.

💡Insecurity

Insecurity in the video is portrayed as a lack of confidence or fear of losing something valuable. It is mentioned as a destructive force where an insecure man may try to diminish the qualities he initially found attractive in a woman, leading to a negative impact on the relationship.

💡Transformation

'Transformation' refers to a significant change in someone's life or behavior. The script discusses how a man's transformation after achieving wealth can affect his relationship, as newfound attention and a midlife crisis might lead him to reconsider his choices and desires.

💡Cheating

The concept of 'cheating' in the video is the act of being unfaithful in a relationship. It is highlighted as a harsh reality where men may lie or deny their infidelity, even when caught, which can lead to a breakdown in trust and relationship stability.

💡Unconditional Love

Unconditional love is the idea of loving someone without any conditions or limitations. The video emphasizes that expecting unconditional love from a romantic partner is unrealistic and can lead to disappointment, as love in romantic relationships is often based on mutual benefits and needs being met.

💡Codependency

Codependency is a dysfunctional relationship dynamic where one person relies excessively on another. In the script, it is mentioned as a result of an insecure man's actions to isolate and control a woman, leading to a loss of individuality and personal growth.

💡Chasers

'Chasers' in the video refers to individuals who are more interested in the pursuit or conquest of a relationship rather than the relationship itself. It suggests that some men may lose interest once they have successfully 'caught' their partner, leading to an unstable dynamic.

💡Freedom

Freedom is the state of being unrestricted or uncontrolled. The video discusses how men highly value their independence and personal space, and feeling forced into commitment or expressions of love can be detrimental to the relationship.

💡Nice

'Nice' in the script is used to describe a quality that, while appreciated, is not the primary factor that attracts a man to a woman. It suggests that being nice is a given and that other qualities such as intelligence, humor, and shared interests are more significant in romantic attraction.

💡Direction in Life

Having 'direction in life' means having clear goals, dreams, and a sense of purpose. The video argues that a man without direction is unlikely to be passionate about his relationship, as he may not know what he wants or values in life, including in a partner.

💡Body Count

The term 'body count' refers to the number of sexual partners one has had. The video warns against the potential negative effects of disclosing one's sexual history, as it can lead to jealousy, insecurity, and unhealthy relationship dynamics.

💡X-rated Content

'X-rated content' refers to explicit adult material. The video discusses how exposure to such content from an early age can create unrealistic expectations in men about their partners, potentially leading to dissatisfaction and unrealistic standards in relationships.

Highlights

A man's treatment of a woman is influenced by the value he perceives in her.

Men's dedication and devotion are contingent on their perception of a woman's value.

Inconsistency in a man's behavior may stem from unclear intentions towards a woman.

Men who value a woman highly will not treat her casually.

A woman's worth is not determined by how a man treats her.

Unconditional love is unrealistic in romantic relationships.

Romantic relationships are built on mutual benefits, not just emotional.

Insecurity in men can lead to destructive behavior towards the qualities they initially admired.

Men may isolate and diminish the qualities they initially found attractive in a woman.

Men who achieve wealth later in life may change their relationship expectations.

Men may lie about infidelity to avoid admitting their mistakes.

Being nice is not the primary quality men look for in a partner.

Men who are great individuals may not necessarily make great husbands.

Men without a clear direction in life may not be good partners.

Men who chase intensely may lose interest once they 'catch' their target.

Men may judge a woman based on her past sexual encounters.

Men may have unrealistic expectations due to exposure to explicit content.

Men value their freedom and independence highly in relationships.

Transcripts

a man will treat you according to the value  he sees in you meaning if he believes you're  

the most wonderful woman he's ever met you'll  see his dedication and Devotion to you but if  

he seems confused and not consistent is because  his intentions with you aren't clear to himself  

because someone who believes they found a diamond  doesn't treat the diamond like a regular Stone  

but remember that this has nothing to do with  your worth okay it has everything to do with  

the way he perceives you and that is harsh truth  number one about men my name is Ismael Gomez I'm  

a coach writer and speaker and ladies today I'll  discuss 13 harsh realities about men that women  

often learn too late listen to each one of them  carefully because I promise you it will stop you  

from experiencing disappointment confusion and  heartbreak in the future okay so let's begin  

number two he won't love you unconditionally  ladies never expect unconditional love from a  

man okay this is something that ends up causing a  lot of suffering in many women if you think that  

someone would love you no matter what no matter if  you fail to meet his needs neglect his feelings or  

disregard the balance of give and take in the  relationship you will be setting yourself up  

for disappointment unconditional love is for  your children you know your parent it's your  

dog but romantic relationships are built on  mutual benefits whether emotional physical or  

social by the way this applies to women as well  okay I remember my grandmother told me once the  

same advice she she said never expect a woman  to love you unconditionally and I was like what  

do you mean Abuela I don't understand and she said  if tomorrow you thrown in prison for life okay  

whether innocent or guilty no woman will put up  with that only your mother and I will be there  

every week to see you and I laugh now because  old people always come up with the most extreme  

scenarios to prove a point but there's a lot of  Truth in what she said so always remember that  

principle number three insecure men will destroy  you an insecure man will try to destroy the things  

he loves about you why you may ask because he  knows that other men are attracted to the same  

qualities that he noticed in you so if you're  playful charismatic and have a great circle of  

friends many times he will isolate you and slowly  dim your light and once you become codependent  

and boring he will say that he lost attraction  for you without even understanding that he was  

the one who caused it so always remember this  whoever you were when he first met you that's  

what attracted him to you so don't let anyone  mold you into what they believe is best for you  

number four transformation after wealth in their  20s or early 30s a lot of guys settle down with a  

woman because she's the best option that they can  find at that moment they find someone who treats  

them well and who they think will be a good wife  so they marry her but once a man starts making  

some serious money okay which for the average  guy usually happens around their 40s things  

often change Big Time suddenly he starts getting  attention from women who never noticed them before  

and now curiosity starts kicking in plus a midlife  crisis thinking that he doesn't want to miss out  

so the woman that they married when they were  young who seemed like the best that they could  

do at that time may not fit into the new picture  of success number five will lie about cheating you  

can find a video of your partner cheating on you  okay and many guys will say that someone made that  

up with AI you can walk into your house catch  him on your bed with another woman and he will  

say that she drugged him that he was unconscious  he doesn't even remember how he got there I mean  

I've seen it all if you think that most men will  just admit Hey listen I messed up okay I cheated  

I take full responsibility for my actions and I  will work on myself to stop this from happening  

again ladies that barely happens and don't get me  wrong okay those cases do exist I've Witness some  

guys really you know made a change in their lives  and worked it out with their spouse but that's one  

in a million most men would rather face death than  admitting they betrayed you number six he doesn't  

care about you being nice if you meet a man who's  truly in love with his partner you know what you  

will never hear him say oh I love her because  she's the nicest woman I've ever met you know when  

you actually hear those words when somebody leaves  you ah man I I broke her heart but she was so nice  

to me you see when men are looking for what they  want in a woman being nice isn't usually top of  

the list it's like sure it's great to have someone  who's polite and all but that's just expected okay  

they take it as a given what really matters to  them are things like intelligence a good sense  

of humor having shared interests and of course  physical attraction and an emotional connection  

number seven great guy doesn't equal great husband  some men are wonderful individuals okay everyone  

loves hanging out with them their friends think  that they're the best and their family adors them  

but when it comes to being a great husband is a  whole different ball game being a great husband  

isn't just about being a great friend or you  know fun to be around it involves qualities like  

communication skills the ability to compromise  and a commitment to supporting and nurturing  

their relationship in ways that go beyond surface  level interactions which reminds me of someone in  

my family and I'm not going to say her name but  she always says about her ex-husband he's the most  

wonderful guy that you will ever meet just make  sure that you don't marry him number eight has  

no direction in life no woman will ever be good  enough for a man that doesn't know what he wants  

if a man lacks purpose if he's not driven by his  work his goals and dreams if he's not passionate  

about the type of man that he wants to become then  how can you expect him to be passionate about you  

if a man is constructing his life as a garden  and that he knows everything that he wants in  

it then the moment that he sees a flower he will  appreciate it but if he doesn't know what he's  

building for himself then he will only seek you  for relaxation and not inspiration number nine  

watch out for the Chasers many men don't want a  relationship ladies they want the Chase and the  

conquest understand that a secure man will never  chase he'll Express that he's interested in you  

okay but if you start playing hard to get or any  manipulative games he will direct his attention  

somewhere else a man that chases you intensely is  someone who likes the feeling of pursuing what's  

out of his reach so once he has you a few months  or a few years may pass but eventually in most  

cases he'll have to drive to chase someone else  again number 10 will judge your body count most  

people both men and women say that they want to  know everything about your past okay including how  

many sexual encounters you've had however once  you disclose all the details it usually causes  

a lot of friction in the relationship and ladies  I'm all about honesty okay but you don't have to  

reveal every explicit detail like every guy that  you kissed and who was the best kisser and I know  

that some of you do this to poke a man's ego you  know to make him jealous and even though you might  

get his attention in the moment in the long run it  would only lead to toxicity and unhealthy Dynamics  

in the relationship number 11 will replace you  instantly as a man I've experienced being replaced  

in the past okay women who walked away and quickly  moved on to another guy usually though when it  

comes to women this process is gradual okay it  often takes a few months or even years for the  

relationship issues to emerge it's like there's a  slow buildup of tension and dissatisfaction that  

eventually leads to a breaking point however it's  usually different in male Behavior for many guys  

it can happen in a Flash okay they'll meet someone  new one night feel completely infatuated and the  

next day they're out the door and you have no idea  what happened or how it happened because you never  

saw any signs number 12 he's been brainwashed  by x-rated content many men develop unrealistic  

expectations about the partners due to exposure  to x-rated content from an early age Imagine  

teenage boys already consuming these things and  this is usually their first experience in sexual  

education outside what they learn from family or  school there's a lot of research indicating that  

frequent consumption of such content can lead  to the satisfaction in relationships as men may  

compare their Partners to realistic standards  for trade online and final number 13 they value  

Freedom men value their freedom above everything  else we place a high value on our our independence  

and personal space a man feels his power is being  taken away if a woman forces him to commit or  

show love to her he needs to do it on his own he  needs to feel that he can leave in order to stay  

and let me give you an analogy so you understand  better he needs to walk into a movie theater and  

see the exit sign behind him so he can leave if  he wants to but he decides to stay because the  

movie is so captivating and worth watching that  he wants to experience it until the end all right  

ladies those are the 13 harsh realities about  men that women often learn to late for those of  

you who are more experienced let the younger  women know in the comments which ones you've  

experienced yourself so they can see the evidence  and learn from you as well thanks for subscribing  

to my channel I'm glad that you chosen me to learn  about self- Lov dating and relationship Dynamics  

because like I always say for your relationships  to change you need to change have a beautiful day