4th Grade Lesson (CEL)
Summary
TLDRIn this engaging classroom transcript, the teacher discusses strategies for improving writing quality throughout an entire story, not just the beginning or a single paragraph. The session includes sharing student work, emphasizing the importance of revising, and introducing 'revision reminders' such as rereading, highlighting, reading aloud, and revising at the start of writing time. Students are encouraged to choose a strategy that resonates with them to enhance their writing and discuss their choices with peers, aiming for continuous improvement in their storytelling.
Takeaways
- đ The class has been working on writing revisions, focusing on improving the quality of their writing through various techniques.
- đ The teacher highlighted the good work of Emily and Tyson, emphasizing the importance of crafting leads and revising effectively.
- đ The teacher read the students' revisions and was impressed by the improvement, indicating the effectiveness of the revision process.
- đ€ The class is encouraged to think about maintaining the quality of writing throughout their entire story, not just in specific paragraphs.
- đ A list of revision techniques was discussed, including improving word choice, adding descriptive phrases, dialogue, character thoughts, and removing unnecessary details.
- đ Reading stories aloud was suggested as a way to catch inconsistencies and improve the narrative flow.
- đ The idea of revising at the beginning of writing time was introduced as a strategy to approach the story with fresh eyes and make improvements.
- đ Highlighting parts of the writing that need revision was mentioned as a way to remember to revisit and improve certain areas later.
- đ The teacher provided 'revision reminders' to help students maintain the quality of their writing, similar to how athletes pace themselves in a race.
- đ Students were asked to choose a revision reminder strategy they want to try and explain why they believe it will help improve their writing.
- đ The teacher will check in with students individually to discuss how the chosen revision strategy is working and offer further assistance if needed.
Q & A
What was the homework assignment given to the students the night before the transcript's events?
-The homework was to take their writing home, read it, and revise a paragraph to improve it.
What did the teacher do with the students' work on the document camera?
-The teacher displayed Emily's and Tyson's work on the document camera to highlight good quality writing and discussed how they crafted their leads.
What is the significance of the chills the teacher felt while reading the students' revisions?
-The chills indicate the teacher's excitement and satisfaction with the significant improvement in the students' writing after their revisions.
What is the main focus of the lesson in the transcript?
-The main focus is on how to maintain the quality of writing throughout the entire story, not just in specific paragraphs or the beginning.
What strategies does the teacher list for improving writing?
-The strategies include improving word choice, using descriptive phrases, adding dialogue or character inner thinking, crafting new leads, removing unnecessary details, and adding more action.
Why did the teacher mention Mike and Dylan in the context of revising?
-Mike and Dylan were mentioned as examples of students who realized during conferences that some parts of their writing didn't need to be there and could be improved by removing unnecessary details.
What is the analogy used by the teacher to explain the importance of consistent quality in writing?
-The teacher compares writing to running a mile, where some students start fast and slow down, while others might finish strong or peter out, emphasizing the need for consistent quality throughout.
What are the 'revision reminders' the teacher introduces to the students?
-Revision reminders include rereading writing often, highlighting areas to come back to later, reading the story out loud, and revising at the beginning of independent writing time.
How does the teacher encourage students to choose a revision reminder strategy?
-The teacher asks students to think about which strategy they want to try and why, then discuss it with a partner and give a thumbs up when they have made a decision.
What is the assignment for the students after the discussion on revision reminders?
-The students are to write on a green sticky note the revision reminder strategy they plan to use over the next few days and keep it in their writer's notebook for future reference.
What does the teacher suggest for students who finish their current writing project?
-The teacher suggests that students can either plan a new story or go back and revise their current work further if they feel there is more to improve.
Outlines
đ Writing Revisions and Quality Improvement
The speaker begins by greeting the audience and transitioning into a discussion about writing work. They mention a homework assignment where students were to read and revise their writing. The speaker praises the quality of the students' work, highlighting examples from Emily and Tyson. They also introduce the concept of 'revision reminders' as a way to maintain quality throughout the entire story, not just in individual paragraphs. The speaker lists various revision techniques they've covered throughout the year, such as improving word choice, adding dialogue, and removing unnecessary details. The goal is to apply these techniques to enhance the overall narrative.
đ Strategies for Effective Writing Revisions
The speaker continues by sharing personal strategies for writing revisions. They suggest rereading the work as it progresses, using highlights to mark areas that need revisiting, reading the story aloud to catch inconsistencies, and revising at the start of independent writing time to approach the work with fresh eyes. The speaker encourages students to consider which of these strategies might be most beneficial for them and to discuss their choices with a partner, explaining why they believe a particular strategy will help improve their writing.
đŻ Implementing Revision Reminders in Writing
In the final paragraph, the speaker assigns the task of choosing and implementing a revision reminder strategy. Students are instructed to write their chosen strategy on a green sticky note and keep it in their writer's notebook for reference during their writing sessions. The speaker also outlines the next steps for students who finish their stories, such as planning a new story or revisiting and revising their current work. The session concludes with a check-in with specific students and an encouragement for all to produce quality writing, applying the chosen revision techniques.
Mindmap
Keywords
đĄWriting Work
đĄRevision
đĄCrafting Leads
đĄDescriptive Phrases
đĄDialogue
đĄAction
đĄHighlighting
đĄReading Aloud
đĄQuality
đĄIndependent Writing Time
đĄGreen Sticky
Highlights
Introduction to the session on writing work and the importance of revising writing.
Homework involved reading and revising writing from the previous day's work.
Highlighting student work, such as Emily's and Tyson's, as examples of good quality writing.
Discussion on the role of David as a reviser and the importance of crafting leads.
Teacher's excitement about the improvement in students' writing revisions.
The challenge of maintaining the quality of writing throughout the entire story.
Strategies for revising writing, including improving word choice and descriptive phrases.
Adding dialogue and character inner thinking to enhance the story.
The concept of removing unnecessary details from writing.
Incorporating more action to help readers visualize the story.
The idea of 'revision reminders' to maintain quality throughout writing.
Comparison of writing to running a mile and the importance of pacing and consistency.
Suggestions for revision strategies, such as rereading, highlighting, and reading aloud.
The importance of revising at the beginning of independent writing time for a fresh perspective.
Encouragement for students to choose a revision strategy and reflect on its potential impact.
The process of students discussing their chosen revision strategies with peers.
Students sharing their chosen revision strategies and reasons for selecting them.
Teacher's guidance on using the chosen revision strategy over several days and reflecting on its effectiveness.
Assignment to write down the chosen revision reminder on a green sticky note and keep it in the writer's notebook.
Continuation of writing stories with the option to start a new story after finishing one.
Teacher's plan to check in with specific students to discuss their revision process.
Transcripts
good afternoon everyone
oh you're so polite
okay
so this afternoon let's talk a little
bit about the writing work that we're
going to do so you know last night my
homework was to take your writing home
and read it and yesterday your work was
taking a paragraph and revising it and
improving it and you remember how we
started yesterday I put student work up
on the doc camera and it was work that
was really good quality so we had
Emily's up there and we had Tysons up
there and they had worked on Crafting
their leads and David's we didn't get a
chance to share David but we talked
about he's like our our reviser
um and then all of you did that work
last night and can I tell you as I read
your writing revision after revision
after Vision I got chills from
everyone's revisions and how much better
their writing was I know that's what I
was doing yes when I was reading that
work so then I was thinking well what am
I going to teach you today what do we
need to work on if I'm getting such
great quality writing
and then I thought to myself as I read
the rest of your writing going hmm
so something we might need to think
about is how do we have that same
quality of writing in our whole story
thought about that how do you take that
great writing that you did in your
revision yesterday and use that in your
whole story of writing that you're doing
um well there's like two things you
could
um re-read your um story and speak the
paragraphs you don't like you could
um like change them okay or you could
just restart your story okay and we're
going to talk about that today because I
did something about what would I do as a
writer to have good quality for my whole
pieces for my whole story and not just
the beginning or not just one paragraph
so I made this list of all the ways that
we've been revising probably since the
beginning of the year all the times that
you've had to go back and improve your
writing these are things that we thought
about so the first one was working to
improve word choice and descriptive
phrases sound familiar
show what you mean don't just tell
yeah add dialogue or character inner
thinking okay what's going through that
character's mind craft a new lead okay
and that's all that work we did over
there in that poster
taking out unnecessary details we
haven't talked about that one too much
but there's been some of you as I've
conferenced with you we kind of realize
that some of it doesn't need to be there
right Mike we talked about that a little
bit I think Dylan you and I talked a
little bit about the dialogue and
sometimes when we revise we actually
want to take something out
and then the last one here is adding
more action to help your reader picture
what's going on so all of these ways
that we revise help our reader get into
our story
so we're going to we're going to be
these today and think about
well how can I kind of use this in my
whole piece of writing so I'm going to
move this for a moment
so today's work I call them revision
reminders
and when I was thinking about this I was
thinking about when you run the mile to
two times a year and I've been out there
running with students before and this is
what happens this is what I notice
Mrs Meyer says go and everyone starts
running really really really fast
and then you know what happens
yes and some of you at the very end get
that burst of power at the end and you
come on strong and then some of you are
just like literally crawling to the end
when she finally says you're done right
so I think if your writing is like that
a lot of you just get started like the
gun goes and then as you keep writing it
kind of gets a little weaker and then
some of you might go oh I've got a good
ending and you come on strong at the end
and some of you just kind of Peter out
at the end and sometimes maybe even
leave your reader hanging a little bit
so
pardon me is that good I don't what do
you think like living here if that's the
intent yeah you don't want to leave them
in a way that confuses or frustrates
them going you know I don't quite get
what this meant but you can end in a
suspense yeah what if it's like a good
one absolutely so today's work is
thinking about revision reminders so I
went back last night and I thought about
some of the ways that I um think about
revision when I'm writing so that I'm
creating a great quality piece of
writing so the first thing that I think
is I like to reread my writing often
so maybe I write a paragraph and I stop
and I can revise along the way
okay so I write a paragraph I stop I
think about it I add I make some changes
and then I carry on
another idea that I know that I've done
in the past is I highlight places in my
writing that I want to come back to
later
do you know sometimes how I have to get
you to stop writing and you all go
right and you're just in that flow of
the writing and so sometimes
highlighting allows us to do that saying
I know this part isn't quite right but
I'm going to go on so I don't forget
what I want to say but I'm going to come
back to it later and so highlighting is
just that visual reminder that you can
come back to it the third thing and this
is what you started to do a little bit
of yesterday was reading your story out
loud either to yourself or to a partner
and sometimes when we hear our stories
read out loud all of a sudden we can
hear what could be better what doesn't
make sense what needs to be changed I
know lots of you when you read your
writing out loud to me we're always kind
of making changes as we read it you're
like oh yeah I didn't mean to say that
or that word's supposed to be this so I
think that's a great strategy and then
the last one we haven't talked about
this one's kind of new and it says
revise at the beginning of my
independent writing time
because I think today you've had a whole
day not looking at your writing so when
you sit back down it's going to be like
looking at a fresh start
and that's some for you some of you
might be the best time to revise because
you've forgotten a little bit you can
look at it with new eyes and say how can
I make part of my story a little bit
better or improve the quality from what
it was yesterday
so this is what I want you to think
about fourth grade I want you to think
about which one of these strategies
these revision reminders would you like
to try so that your pieces of writing
continue to improve I just want you
actually just think in your mind here
for a minute but I also want you to
think about why you want to choose
certain ones
or why you want to choose number two and
not number four
so just give me a thumbs up when you
think you have one of these that you
think would help improve the quality of
your writing
and it's okay to sit and think a little
bit you this should be a decision
some of you might say I could do two of
these
some of you might be saying I'm not sure
yet
okay so I'm seeing enough thumbs what I
want you to do make sure look around you
have someone that you're going to turn
when I'm finished talking turn and talk
to about
one
which of these do you think you want to
try over the next few days
as a revision reminder and be able to
explain to your partner why you want to
do this one why this one you think is
going to work for you to improve your
writing okay so turn to talk and I'm
going to come and listen to hear what
you have to say
[Music]
[Music]
because three I can understand what I
kind of want
um I already said I wanted to because
I would probably want two and three
years
because they like it but they can
actually give me some suggestions
okay
fourth grade can I get you to turn back
around and I'd love to hear a couple of
ideas that you thought that you talked
about with your partner that you're
going to take back to your writing today
David can you share what you said tick
number three
um read my writing out loud to myself or
to a partner hear what needs to be
changed
um like someone could be like I and so
it could be he so the reader might think
like is like the person in the story
like is he riding the story or somebody
else's so is it first person or third
person telling the story great when you
think of a partner did you think in mind
anyone in here who might make a good
partner to share the story who might be
able to give you good feedback on your
story
yeah and you don't have to say any names
but that's something you want to think
about is we I was just talking to Jaren
about that you don't want to just read
the story to someone who's just gonna
say great story
you want to share it with someone who's
going to say you know what you might
want to think about this part or this
part of my your story didn't quite make
sense great could I hear from someone
who chose a different
uh revision reminder today
I I chose number two
um because I get lost in my stories a
lot and I don't know and I keep on
forgetting what I want to change in it
okay so you think the highlighting will
be the reminder yeah okay so you just
have to remember to actually highlight
yeah okay
how often do you think you might stop
and highlight
um
a lot a lot so you're probably gonna
need a highlighter today yeah right do
you know where the highlighters are yeah
they're great good let's hear one more
um idea for a revision reminder today
Tyson what were you thinking fourth
because
um I I kind of miss out a lot of stuff
in my paragraphs and I want them like so
I can have a fresh start and like get my
thoughts in quickly and so they can get
an added on to what is that to that
paragraph
so you think you could do that today
when you sit down as revise with fresh
eyes today okay nice work I heard some
really good thinking about what you
really want to try as a writer what's
going to work for you if one of these
doesn't work for you when you try it is
it okay to try a different one yeah yes
and I want you to be thinking that this
is many days worth of trying I'm not
expecting that I'm gonna see all this
revision today but when I conference
with you tomorrow or Monday or next
Tuesday I might want to have this
conversation with you is how did this go
is there something that I can help you
with
so your work today is you're going to go
back to your desk and on your desk is a
green sticky and all I want you to write
on the sticky is what was the revision
reminder that you're going to try to use
over the next few days and you're going
to keep it in your writer's notebook and
it also just lets me know that you chose
one and it gives us something to talk
about at our conference and then just
keep that alongside you
you're going to continue your stories
today if you happen to finish a story
who thinks they know what their next
step is going to be Dylan
um to plan a new story you could or you
could go back and
revise but if you felt like you've
revised all that you can on your own
absolutely you can start a new story you
have your character what other story can
you imagine him in Mike I have a
question can we have more than two yes
but I would I would start with one and
do a good job of one and then you can
say now I want to try another one Maddie
with the highlighting if you want to do
the Highland can we do what you did like
right there and highlights like
underline and they go back and like
um do like other parts yes I would look
at your writing go Ooh La La look at all
that revision that went on today
absolutely
um so before I set you free to go forth
and right I want you to turn a talk with
a partner share what do you need to do
when you sit down at your desk today
what's your plan
[Music]
hey when you're ready to go forth you're
turning toward me
thumbs up if you know what you need to
do great so in about a minute I should
see pencils going across papers or eyes
rereading their writing if you're having
conversation it's about
the work okay today I would like to
check in with Jaren
Rachel who's not here Rebecca Jason and
Emily B
so those people if you can gather your
writing I want you to come join me here
at the carpet the rest of you go forth
produce quality writing
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