Body count: beyond the number

Summary

In this video, Dr. Orion Taban tackles the topic of 'body count,' or a woman's number of previous sexual partners, and its significance in relationships. He argues that obsessing over a woman's sexual history is detrimental, as it offers no definitive answers and may inflame jealousy. Dr. Taban explains that women often lie or adjust their numbers to avoid judgment, and focusing on body count as a proxy for purity or loyalty is misleading. Ultimately, he encourages men to stop fixating on body count and instead focus on building trust and understanding in relationships.

Takeaways

• 😀 Body count is often used as a measure of a woman's ability to pair bond and her suitability for long-term relationships, but it can be misleading.
• 😀 Focusing on a woman's sexual history may lead to unnecessary jealousy and emotional distress, similar to how going through someone's phone can have negative consequences.
• 😀 Absence of evidence in a woman's sexual past doesn't necessarily mean there's nothing to hide. It could just mean you didn't ask the right questions or she's good at hiding things.
• 😀 Men who obsess over body count often only find things that may disqualify a woman or create emotional turmoil. Curiosity can be harmful in this case.
• 😀 Most women won't tell the full truth about their sexual history because they fear judgment. This is why men may never truly know the truth about a woman's body count.
• 😀 The idea that women lie about their sexual history is rooted in the fact that men often judge women harshly for their body count, making honesty a risk.
• 😀 Women may not count certain sexual experiences, such as brief encounters or those involving alcohol, which can make the actual number lower than it appears.
• 😀 The concept of 'purity' is often tied to body count, but body count doesn't necessarily equate to a lack of sexual experience or promiscuity.
• 😀 Cultural factors, like those in religious or conservative settings, can influence how women count sexual experiences, which complicates the use of body count as a reliable measure.
• 😀 The divorce rate among virgins is lower compared to the general population, but this statistic is based on a very small percentage of people, and cultural and religious factors are likely more significant than virginity itself.
• 😀 Body count should not be used as a sole indicator of a woman's worth or suitability for a long-term relationship. It needs to be considered alongside other factors, such as values, commitment, and compatibility.

Q & A

What is the main argument Dr. Orion Taban presents regarding the focus on a woman's body count?

Dr. Orion Taban argues that focusing on a woman's body count is problematic because it often doesn't provide accurate or useful information about her future behavior in a relationship. He explains that a low body count does not necessarily correlate with greater loyalty or commitment, and probing into someone's sexual past can lead to unnecessary jealousy or distress without offering any real assurances about the future.

Why does Dr. Taban compare reviewing a woman's sexual history to a cancer screening?

Dr. Taban compares reviewing a woman's sexual history to a cancer screening because both can fail to provide conclusive answers. Just like a cancer screening doesn't guarantee that you are cancer-free, looking into a woman's past won't necessarily reveal the whole truth. It can either fail to uncover concerning details or miss key aspects, leaving you with incomplete or misleading information.

What does Dr. Taban mean when he says 'absence of evidence is not evidence of absence'?

This phrase means that just because a woman doesn't disclose any concerning information about her sexual history, it doesn't prove that no such experiences exist. There could be hidden details or unmentioned facts that aren't revealed through questioning, just like a negative test result in medical screening doesn't confirm the absence of disease.

What are the potential dangers of investigating a woman's sexual past, according to Dr. Taban?

Dr. Taban suggests that investigating a woman's sexual past can lead to negative emotions, such as jealousy, without providing any positive, reassuring information. This focus on past behavior might only serve to inflame insecurity or retroactive jealousy, which could harm the relationship in the long run.

Why does Dr. Taban recommend not asking a woman about her sexual history?

Dr. Taban advises against asking a woman about her sexual history because, even if she is truthful, the response won't necessarily be beneficial. Many women may feel pressured to lie or minimize the truth to avoid negative judgment or jealousy from their partner, which compromises the integrity of the answer.

What does Dr. Taban say about why women lie about their sexual history?

Dr. Taban explains that women often lie about their sexual history because of societal pressures and the fear of being judged by men. He cites a study showing that jealousy can escalate to physical abuse in relationships, suggesting that women lie to protect themselves from triggering negative reactions in men.

How does Dr. Taban address the issue of women lying about their sexual history?

Dr. Taban acknowledges that while lying about sexual history is common, it stems from a strategic need to avoid judgment and preserve the relationship. He explains that many women, to avoid conflict or negative consequences, may lie about details or downplay their experiences, making it difficult for men to know the truth.

What is Dr. Taban's stance on using body count as a measure of purity or inexperience?

Dr. Taban believes that using body count as a measure of purity or inexperience is problematic. He argues that body count is not a true reflection of a woman's sexual experience, as there are various ways to satisfy sexual needs without vaginal intercourse. Additionally, the societal focus on purity overlooks other factors that may play a role in a woman's relationship suitability.

What does Dr. Taban mean by 'women count differently' when it comes to body count?

Dr. Taban explains that women often have different criteria for what counts as a sexual experience. For example, a woman might not count brief encounters, regrets, or experiences where she was intoxicated or unable to remember the event clearly. As a result, the reported body count may not accurately reflect a woman's true sexual history.

How does Dr. Taban explain the low divorce rate among virgins in marriage?

Dr. Taban acknowledges the low divorce rate among virgins who marry, citing statistics that show these couples have a much lower divorce rate (6%) compared to the general population (55%). However, he points out that the number of virgins who get married is very small (around 3% of the population), and other factors such as strong religious engagement and cultural pressures may play a more significant role in the success of these marriages than simply not having had previous sexual partners.

Why does Dr. Taban suggest that body count alone is insufficient when evaluating a woman's suitability as a long-term partner?

Dr. Taban argues that body count alone is an inadequate measure of a woman's suitability as a partner because it doesn't take into account other important factors such as the nature of her previous relationships, her values, and her emotional maturity. He believes that men should consider a broader range of evidence and not rely solely on body count as a proxy for qualities like purity and inexperience.