Dr. Laurie Santos: Happiness Problem #2b, Comparing to Other People. Science of Well-Being for Teens

Summary

The video script delves into the impact of social comparison on happiness, highlighting how reference points, such as salaries and social media portrayals, skew our perception of success and contentment. It discusses the tendency to compare ourselves unfavorably to others, leading to dissatisfaction despite our own achievements. The script also points out the flawed nature of these comparisons, as we often contrast our realities with others' curated highlights, which can result in a distorted view of our own lives and the lives of those around us.

Takeaways

• 💰 Money is often seen as a source of happiness, but it can create dissatisfaction due to social comparison and the desire to be richer than others, as noted by philosopher John Stuart Mill.
• 📊 Social comparison is the act of evaluating one's status, possessions, or salary against others, which can lead to negative feelings and irrational decisions.
• 🤔 People tend to compare themselves to those who are better off, which can result in a constant feeling of inadequacy, even when they are doing well.
• 💼 A study by Solnick and Hemingway showed that people would prefer to earn less if it meant they were earning more than their peers, highlighting the power of social comparison.
• 🏆 Unreasonable salary reference points, such as those seen on television or with celebrities, can skew perceptions of wealth and lead to dissatisfaction with one's own income.
• 📺 Watching more television correlates with higher estimates of others' wealth and lower self-assessment of one's own wealth, indicating the influence of media on financial perceptions.
• 🚗 Comparisons can also affect satisfaction with material possessions, such as cars, where seeing others with better items can diminish one's own happiness.
• 🏫 Academic performance is another area where social comparison can impact happiness, with students often feeling less satisfied with their grades when comparing themselves to high-achieving peers.
• 🌐 Social media amplifies social comparison by providing constant exposure to others' highlight reels, which can lead to feelings of inadequacy and unhappiness.
• 🤳 The curated nature of social media content means that people often compare their private struggles to others' public successes, leading to skewed perceptions and negative self-assessment.
• 🧐 Research indicates that people are prone to overestimating the positive experiences of others and underestimating their negative experiences, further exacerbating the effects of social comparison.

Q & A

What is the main idea discussed in the script about money and happiness?

The script discusses how money, particularly in the form of salary, often serves as a salient reference point for happiness, but this can lead to dissatisfaction as people tend to compare themselves to others who are wealthier.

Who is the philosopher mentioned in the script that noted the desire to be richer than others?

The philosopher mentioned in the script is John Stuart Mill, who noted that people often desire to be richer than others, not just to be rich.

What is social comparison and how does it affect our perception of our own status?

Social comparison is the act of evaluating one's own salary, status, possessions, etc., in relation to others. It can cause us to feel unsatisfied or 'crappy' because our brains tend to compare ourselves to those who have more, leading to a distorted perception of our own status.

What did the study by Solnick and Hemingway reveal about people's preferences regarding salary?

The study by Solnick and Hemingway showed that more than fifty percent of the participants preferred to earn less money ($50,000) if it meant they were earning more than others ($25,000) around them, rather than earning a higher salary ($100,000) where others earned significantly more ($250,000).

Why might using a reasonable salary reference point be beneficial?

Using a reasonable salary reference point, such as comparing oneself to others in the same job or organization, can help maintain a sense of fairness and satisfaction, as it provides a more accurate context for one's own earnings.

How does the script suggest that our minds pick up on unrealistic salary reference points?

The script suggests that our minds pick up on unrealistic salary reference points by observing that people often compare their earnings to those of rich individuals they see on television, which can lead to a skewed perception of wealth and dissatisfaction with one's own income.

What is the relationship between watching television and one's perception of wealth according to the script?

The script states that the more television one watches, the higher the estimated wealth of others and the lower the perceived value of one's own wealth, indicating that exposure to wealthy figures on TV can distort one's perception of wealth.

How do reference points affect our happiness about our possessions?

Reference points can affect our happiness about our possessions by making us feel inadequate when we compare what we have to the seemingly better possessions of others, such as cars or houses.

What impact do reference points have on students' happiness about their grades?

Reference points can negatively impact students' happiness about their grades by causing them to compare their performance to those who are doing better, even if they are performing well themselves, leading to a lack of satisfaction.

How does the script describe the effect of social media on our happiness about our looks?

The script describes social media as exacerbating the effect of reference points on our happiness about our looks by constantly presenting us with images of people who appear more attractive, leading to feelings of inadequacy and dissatisfaction with our own appearance.

What is the 'highlight reel' concept mentioned in the script, and how does it relate to social comparisons?

The 'highlight reel' concept refers to the curated, best moments of people's lives that are shared on social media. It relates to social comparisons because it leads us to compare our own lives, with all their ups and downs, to these idealized representations of others, which can result in feelings of inadequacy.

Why are social comparisons on social media considered 'wrong' according to the script?

Social comparisons on social media are considered 'wrong' because they are based on incomplete information; we see the best moments of others but not their struggles, leading to a distorted and inaccurate comparison that can negatively affect our self-perception and happiness.