UNFREEZE Your Nervous System To Get Stuff Done
Summary
TLDRThe video script discusses the impact of childhood trauma on adult life, often manifesting as procrastination and a sense of inadequacy. It features Jacob's story, who struggled with feelings of inferiority and underachievement due to an abusive and neglectful upbringing. The speaker suggests that understanding trauma's effects on the nervous system, such as 'freeze mode,' is crucial for healing and overcoming procrastination. Strategies like seeking support, learning from YouTube, and establishing a morning routine are recommended to help individuals regain control over their lives and businesses.
Takeaways
- đ Childhood trauma and neglect can lead to procrastination and a sense of inadequacy in adulthood.
- đšâđ§ Jacob's story illustrates the impact of an explosive and self-centered parent, coupled with a codependent one, setting him up for failure.
- đ Growing up in a rural area with no social support and a lack of activities contributed to Jacob's feelings of isolation.
- đ Joining the military provided Jacob a sense of belonging and competence, but returning to the family business extinguished his drive.
- đĄ Despite having talents and opportunities, Jacob struggles with a pattern of inaction and self-doubt, which he attributes to his past.
- đ§ The script suggests that trauma can cause nervous system changes, leading to 'freeze mode', which might be the root of Jacob's procrastination.
- đ Understanding and addressing the trauma response of 'freeze mode' could be a key to overcoming procrastination and inaction.
- đ€ The speaker recommends seeking support and community, such as through 12-step meetings, to help with healing and connection.
- đ Learning about nervous system regulation and implementing simple techniques can assist in overcoming underfunctioning due to trauma.
- đł Engaging in outdoor activities and establishing a morning routine can help in breaking out of 'freeze mode' and re-regulating the nervous system.
- đ For individuals with complex PTSD, targeted strategies and community support are more effective than generic coaching or training.
Q & A
What is the common issue faced by people with childhood trauma as described in the script?
-People with childhood trauma often struggle with procrastination, feeling stuck, and difficulty getting work done due to nervous system changes that make them prone to 'freeze mode'.
Who is Jacob in the context of the script?
-Jacob is a pseudonym for a man who wrote a letter to the speaker, describing his feelings of inadequacy and struggles with productivity and business due to his childhood experiences.
What was Jacob's childhood like according to his letter?
-Jacob's childhood was marked by an explosive and self-centered parent who wanted him to be an adult, a codependent parent, and a lack of social interaction with peers. He felt constantly criticized and was made to work hard physically without proper guidance.
How did Jacob's military experience impact his self-perception?
-Jacob's military experience helped him make friends and realize that he was not as 'dumb and useless' as he previously thought.
What challenges did Jacob face when he returned to work in his family's business?
-Jacob faced a lack of effective guidance and constant comparison with others, which extinguished his 'fire and go-getter personality' and led to feelings of inadequacy.
What is the term used to describe the state Jacob might be experiencing, and what does it mean?
-Jacob might be experiencing 'freeze mode,' which is a nervous system state where a person becomes paralyzed and unable to take action, often a response to trauma.
What is the speaker's advice for Jacob regarding his business and prospecting?
-The speaker suggests that Jacob consider hiring a partner or an employee to handle the prospecting part of his business, allowing him to focus on the service delivery, as not everyone is suited to be a salesperson.
What resources does the speaker recommend for Jacob to learn more about business and communication?
-The speaker recommends using free resources like YouTube and books, specifically mentioning 'The E-Myth' by Michael Gerber, to learn about business operations and communication skills.
What is the speaker's suggestion to help Jacob get out of 'freeze mode'?
-The speaker suggests going outside, moving around, and engaging in activities that bring joy and connection with nature, as well as establishing a morning routine to help regulate the nervous system.
What are some simple techniques the speaker recommends to help regulate the nervous system?
-The speaker recommends techniques such as washing hands in cold water, walking outside, banging feet, pressing the tongue to the roof of the mouth, deep breathing, and box breathing.
How does the speaker suggest Jacob can connect with others and overcome isolation?
-The speaker encourages Jacob to find ways to connect with other people, such as attending 12-step meetings or joining community groups, to share experiences and work through challenges together.
Outlines
đ Childhood Trauma and Procrastination
The first paragraph introduces the script's theme, focusing on the connection between childhood abuse or neglect and the development of procrastination and self-doubt in adulthood. It presents a letter from 'Jacob,' who has struggled with feelings of inadequacy and a sense of being unworthy since childhood. Jacob's upbringing involved an explosive, self-centered parent and a codependent one, leading to a tense and abusive home environment. His disconnection from others continued into high school, and joining the military provided a brief respite and a sense of accomplishment. However, upon returning to work in the family business, his confidence waned, and despite efforts to start his own business, he continues to grapple with procrastination and a lack of direction.
đ Understanding Trauma's Impact on the Nervous System
The second paragraph delves into the psychological impact of trauma, specifically discussing how it can lead to a state of 'freeze mode' within the nervous system. This state is characterized by underfunctioning, where an individual is unable to take action despite the desire and need to do so. The speaker empathizes with Jacob's feelings of squandering talents and opportunities, suggesting that these may not be the result of poor choices but rather the effects of trauma on his nervous system. The paragraph also touches on the idea that not everyone is suited to be a salesperson and suggests that partnering with someone or hiring an employee could be a solution for Jacob's business challenges. The importance of learning and building confidence in sales and prospecting is highlighted, with recommendations to utilize free resources like YouTube and books to gain the necessary skills.
đ± Overcoming Freeze Mode and Nervous System Disregulation
The third paragraph offers practical advice for individuals like Jacob who may be stuck in 'freeze mode.' It emphasizes the importance of physical movement, particularly outdoors, as a means to reregulate the nervous system. The speaker recommends developing a morning routine and suggests that engaging in group activities or joining support groups could help alleviate feelings of isolation and promote positive connections. The paragraph also introduces the concept of 'disregulation boot camp,' a program designed to help individuals heal their nervous system disregulation. The speaker encourages Jacob to take steps towards healing, offering hope that by addressing the underlying trauma and nervous system issues, he can regain control over his life and business.
Mindmap
Keywords
đĄProcrastination
đĄChildhood PTSD
đĄFreeze Mode
đĄNervous System
đĄUnderfunctioning
đĄComplex PTSD
đĄDisregulation
đĄSelf-Esteem
đĄIsolation
đĄNervous System Reregulation
đĄ12-Step Meeting
Highlights
People with childhood trauma often struggle with procrastination and underfunctioning.
Childhood neglect and abuse can cause nervous system changes leading to a 'freeze mode' response.
Jacob's childhood was marked by explosive and self-centered parenting, contributing to his feelings of inadequacy.
Jacob felt disconnected and isolated, which continued into his high school years.
Joining the military helped Jacob realize his potential and make friends.
Returning to the family business extinguished Jacob's drive and led to feelings of failure.
Jacob struggled to make progress in his own business due to procrastination and lack of focus.
Investments in coaching and training did not resolve Jacob's procrastination issues.
Understanding trauma's impact on the nervous system is crucial for healing and overcoming procrastination.
Trauma responses include fight, flight, freeze, and fawn, with freeze mode being a common issue for underfunctioning.
Therapy and self-help strategies may not be enough for individuals with complex PTSD.
Finding workarounds to assist the nervous system can help individuals break out of freeze mode.
Sales prospecting is a critical skill for business success, but it can be challenging for those with confidence issues.
YouTube and books can be valuable, cost-effective resources for learning business skills.
The book 'The E-Myth' by Michael Gerber offers insights into business growth and delegating tasks.
Physical activity and outdoor time can help regulate the nervous system and break the freeze mode.
Developing a morning routine and engaging in group activities can aid in nervous system reregulation.
Connecting with others, especially those with similar challenges, can provide support and motivation.
Disregulation boot camp offers a community and tools for healing from childhood trauma and nervous system disregulation.
Transcripts
all over the world people who were
abused or neglected in childhood are
procrastinating and they're thinking
that they're the only one freezing up
getting stuck struggling to get work
done it's all so common for people with
childhood pts and as long as you look at
it as just laziness or a character flaw
you might be making your procrastination
worse understanding that trauma in the
past may have caused nervous system
changes that make you vulnerable and
prone to go into what's called Freeze
mode might just be what sets you free my
letter today is from a man I'll call
Jacob and he writes hi Anna as far back
as I can remember I've always had the
sense that everyone else is better than
me I've got my fairy pencil I'm going to
circle things I want to come back to on
a second reading but let's go through
and see what Jacob's got going
on he says they're better at sports
better at school better at making
friends or having friends just a general
sense of always being not good enough my
childhood had one parent who was and
still is explosive self-centered and
wanted his children to be adults and not
children the other parent was a
codependent also just trying to survive
my older sister and I were set up in to
fail in most cases or accused of being
lazy when in fact neither was the case
my family were the lowbudget crew for
the family business and most things were
hard hired out I can remember cutting
the lot for our new home in the middle
of July the driveway is a quarter of a
mile long we moved all the brush and
chipped it the hardwood was dragged off
by hand and stacked most of that time we
were all being yelled at particularly me
for being lazy he says all right walking
on eggshells was the daily ritual at my
house and never knowing who was going to
get the Wrath or why we lived in a very
rural area and there wasn't any there
weren't any kids from school nearby and
we weren't offered to um be put into any
activities with local kids at school it
was a small community most of the kids
were pretty pretty close-knit because of
sports Church neighbors and so on so I
always felt outside of things I spent
the majority of my childhood alone or at
least disconnected from most everyone
this continued through high school and
my only way out was to join the military
then I did make friends and learned I
wasn't as dumb and useless as I thought
when I came home I went to work in the
family business and all of my fire and
go-getter personality seemed to be
extinguished there wasn't any effective
guidance I was just thrown to the wolves
and why can't you do as well as Xyz or
XYZ is kicking our butt and took took
this deal or that at this point about
four years had passed and I had spent
thousands on coaching training and so on
and just couldn't seem to make ago I
left the company more or less and moved
1500 M away but continued to contract
disliking it all I decided to start my
own business and continue part-time
however after about 20 years it was
easier to earn money from the old
business than to focus on my business
I've again spent thousands of dollars on
coaching and more training and built
systems and so on and have monthly costs
besides living bills I know exactly what
needs to be done prospecting I know I'm
very skilled at it very polished and I
need to do a great job when I fall into
an opportunity most days I spend at my
desk staring at my computer not doing
work not building either business and
just watching as everything falls apart
around me until some random deal Falls
in my lap two or three times a year and
I survive nothing I've done up to now
has helped me take the right actions I'm
blind to what is holding me back and
regardless of journaling hypnosis
screaming forc saying I do not do what
is necessary this pattern has been an
ongoing challenge for my entire adult
life I gave up on ever having a family
due to poor choices and mates so far
I've given up on my financial security
and freedom even though I know that I
have been for lack of a better word
blessed with talents and opportunities
and have knowingly squandered them
whoa I just cannot see what the barrier
is or how to address it okay Jacob I got
you let's talk about
this so what you described about your
childhood but your Youth and your young
adulthood where you were basically
getting verbally abused all the time by
your dad your mom didn't do anything
that's enough to do some nervous system
damage to a kid and it was chronic and
it was ongoing and that's that does you
know that's where cptsd comes from
chronic ongoing intense stress from
abuse or neglect um in the case of kids
there are other reasons people get cptsd
and I think you might have picked those
up too along the way
but one of the ways that trauma
manifests in US is we go into freeze
mode so there's these trauma reactions
there's roughly four of them you could
make a longer list but fight flight
freeze and fawn so we've all met the
type who was traumatized in the past and
they're just very full of conflict they
get into fights they're always suing
people that's fight flight is running
away you know just avoiding the whole
thing you came back you're sitting at
your desk I think you might be in freeze
mode and that's a nervous system State
and there's very good news about this
the nervous system states are ones that
you can work on and get some healing
around if it is freeze mode I really
encourage you to read more about it you
know this has to do with your um central
nervous system and your sympathetic
nervous system which which gets all
freaked out when everything's upsetting
and then it calms down with the
parasympathetic response so another word
for living in freeze mode is
underfunctioning there are some people
who overun function as a trauma response
you know they just try to do everything
they'll work themselves to ex exhaustion
they get into perfectionism and then
there's underfunctioning and under
functioning is what you're talking about
where you sit at your desk you're you
know intending to get a lot done you
really need to work to get money but you
just can't seem to do it you're
paralyzed at your desk so it's
underfunctioning it's not uncommon so
first of all what really hurt my heart
is when you just said you know um I've
given up on relationships and um because
of poor choices which is what we do
that's another thing that can be healed
but that you've been blessed with
talents and opportunities and have
knowingly squandered them you know could
we just consider that there's another
thing going on that you didn't knowingly
squander them that you actually tried
your best but because of trauma you went
through your nervous system had gets
stuck sometimes and can't kick into gear
and what you need is a workaround to
assist your nervous system to sort of
start up again to get going to start
governing your body and your ability to
pay attention and remember and when you
can do those things you can get a lot
more confidence about Prospect
prospecting now for anybody who's never
done sales prospecting is where you make
phone calls or network or find people
who are potential customers for you and
it's part of having a business and you
know what a lot of people do when they
start a business is they don't want to
deal with that part and they even will
say formally I don't want to do it you
you're taking you're accepting that it
has to be done but Jacob could I just
say that sometimes a partner or an
employee to do your sales for you your
prospecting for you could possibly be a
great fit salespeople will sometimes
work on commission which is cool so if
they can sit there and do the
prospecting part and you can do the
follow-through and deliver the service
that you provide I don't know exactly
what you do but not everybody's cut out
to be the salesperson and that's okay a
lot of people don't realize that going
into business or being a contractor or a
consultant that about half your work
roughly unless you're famous which who
is it's going to be like trying to find
customers and a lot of people with
trauma really trip up around this one
because it takes so much confidence you
know some people have kind of like a
mask that they can wear a false self to
go out there and go hey I can provide
this really good service it's high
quality it's good pricing you can talk
to me about it some people that comes
naturally but it doesn't come naturally
to everybody and so I really recommend
that you do your research you don't need
any more coaches or anything expensive
there's this thing called YouTube I I
started up my second business entirely
learned from YouTube I learned the whole
thing from YouTube you can learn a lot
there but learning how um how people do
the communication and appear confident
and have Charisma say the things that
lead to a sale I think half of the
procrastination and lack of confidence
around that has to do with being too
Frozen a lot of the time to have done
adequate research to know how to do it I
mean everybody knows a little bit how to
do it but really how to do it and uh I I
want I coach a lot of people who are
business people and who are
entrepreneurs or you know they have a
they're solopreneurs and this is a big
issue for almost everybody and they want
to avoid it they want to minimize it
they want to believe they already know
something but I promise you you can
learn from YouTube also from books
there's very good business books about
how to do this and uh
they help me to realize like of course I
can't do every job and after a while in
a business you start to realize which
job are you a book that was world
changing for me is called The e- Myth by
Michael Gerber I loved that book and
what it helped me understand is that in
starting up any business you wear all
the hats and gradually you don't wear
all the hats that the only way you're
ever going to be able to grow the
business is to be able to start bringing
in other people to wear some of the
other hats and so I'm guessing because
of your coaching you do know all of this
but I think a lot of coaching it's not
really well targeted for people who have
complex PTSD you got what you got from
the coaching so good you know that
knowledge is in there right now it's
time to get out of freeze mode the
number one thing that is recommended for
people in freeze mode is to go outside
and move around and so what's
interesting is that one of your
traumatic experiences was having to
clear this like half mile drive of brush
and tree
in July heat which sounds like torture
it does sound like torture and so I
don't know what you do right now but
going outside in a and doing something
that gives you Joy hopefully getting
some nature getting a little sunlight
and moving your body is how you can get
out of freeze mode a lot of us benefit
from having a morning routine and the
morning routine is something that I
teach in my disregulation boot camp um
you can find a link to that down below
in the description section so freeze
mode is one aspect of nervous system
disregulation it's one aspect now all of
us are capable of going into multiple
trauma responses sometimes we fight
sometimes we freeze we Fawn we're like
please like me or we run away but we
often have a dominant one so this is the
one hurting you everybody can benefit
from learning to reregulate their
nervous system and so what I encourage
you to do is learn about disregulation
learn about it start working on very
simple things that you can do they don't
cost any money
you can um wash your hands in very cold
water you can walk around outside you
can bang your feet one left right left
right you can press your tongue to the
roof of your mouth these are easy tips
to just start bringing yourself into
regulation you can take five deep
breaths or use box breathing where you
breathe in for a certain measure hold
for a certain measure exhale for a
measure hold for a measure breathe in
all of these things can start bringing
your nervous system system back online
for some people it is group activities
now somehow I get the feeling that
you're very isolated in your work so I
really am going to encourage you to find
a way to connect with other people
whether it's to go to an um adult
children of Alcoholics and other
disfunctional families 12-step meeting
good way to make make friends or another
12-step meeting or in some way connect
with Community especially with men
especially with business people people
who get it people who are working these
same challenges it's a completely
different game sitting at your desk
thinking in your head about what you're
going to do versus connecting with other
people and sharing with them what you're
going to do the window opens the oxygen
comes in good things can begin to happen
there needs to be nervous system
alignment and a sense of positive
connection to goals that you would like
to have in your life so you know having
a business and having it be successful
is a great joy not to mention the
financial benefits that help make life
so much easier so Jacob I hope you'll do
those things and if you need help come
on into my disregulation boot camp it's
easy it's fun if you like it you can
become a member at crappy childhood
fairy and there you'll find a lot of
people who are also working to heal
their disregulation and friends who are
working through their freeze mode too I
tell you what I'll put a link to the
disregulation boot camp right here and I
will see you very
[Music]
[Music]
soon
Voir Plus de Vidéos Connexes
Heal These Trauma Wounds and Watch Your Productivity Soar
Stop Procrastinating: Heal Trauma by Taking ACTION
COMO CURAR (RĂPIDO) SUA PROCRASTINAĂĂO | NeurociĂȘncias
Why I Donât Recommend Forgiveness -- A Psychological Analysis
Procrastinação: entenda qual é o real problema | Olavo de Carvalho
This is Why You're Living Life on Autopilot
5.0 / 5 (0 votes)